“I felt peri creeping up on me and a year ago the anxiety and low mood was crippling and I was so so tired - all the time. I took some time off work sick and ended up being off for 7mths and then agreed to a sabbatical.
I was told by my GP there was nothing more she could do for me and a referral to the NHS clinic had a 2 year waiting list. I was out on HRT and then taken off and then put back on again .. I finally used my limited savings to go private and after a really awful year I’m slowly starting to feel like myself.
I have just told my employer I’m not going to return to work as I can’t see myself working full time in a stressful environment. I feel like my career, income and a job I loved have been taken away from me - it’s hard to stay optimistic about the future. It makes me so angry that we have to suffer and that the care and advice just int available without having to pay for it.”

“The brain fog is debilitating and embarrassing. I’m glad I gave up work before I made any mistakes. The lack of compassion and understanding from other women who don’t experience symptoms is infuriating. So many women feel it’s a failure or weakness to admit to menopausal symptoms and boast about not having any or don’t talk about it at all!”

“At the age of 47 I started to feel hugely emotional and anxious about every day life. I then started to suffer from debilitating brain fog and balance issues. No ENT could explain it. The combination of problems meant caring for 3 children was about all I could cope with and driving became a daily dread. I was given drugs for anxiety. First diazepam and then citalopram. I was so confused as I had no depressive symptoms but I was anxious. I now look back and think I was anxious due to my physical issues! I mentioned menopause and got the ‘are you having hot flushes?’ question. When I said no to 3 different GPs they all said well it isn’t that then. Years went by. The citalopram helped to keep me just about on an even keel but not enough to feel normal. I felt like a totally different person who lacked confidence and tbh joy in life. Roll on 3 years, which I will never get back, and I rang a GP (Covid) saying please help me I want some menopause test. He said no and made me feel stupid. I was 50. But I still didn’t have hot sweats (I never had one!). I resorted to a £30 kit from Superdrug that said I was menopausal (not peri- id missed that). I made a private referral but it was 3 months away to see a menopause specialist. Even paying this was the wait. Two months later my world collapsed in and I felt helpless and scared. I rang again and said I needed to see someone as o was concerned about my mental health. It was a new GP and she took one look at me and prescribed HRT on the spot. It was pretty much instantaneous of feeling normal. And then I started to not feel normal but great. I’d forgotten how that could even feel. The specialist was incredible and I wished I’d seen her 3 years before. She was livid about my experience and said there are over 40 symptoms of perimenopause. 3 years later I am HRT gel x 4 squirts, I have a mirena coil, I have oestrogen pills for vagina and take a small amount of testosterone. So many woman think they are growing to grow hair and have a deep voice! It’s the smallest amount and as the specialist says it gives you your va va voom back! I now have a libido, feel great, energy, happy, little anxiety and my confidence back. Please ladies listen to my experience and get it sorted earlier.”

“I've been really lucky, got to 51 with very little symptoms. My periods stopped and I got hot flushes and night sweats but my energy and everything else was good. Fast forward to 52, I got a UTI, my doctor gave me three days of antibiotics but a week later it was still there. He told me it couldn't be and sent me away. But of course, it was. Fast forward four years of total hell. I have been having recurrent UTIs nonstop for four years. I did try Chinese herbs which gave me six months grace and meant I could travel. Last year was the worst, I got a UTI and was put on an antibiotic that was clearly not working. When I told my GP they said to finish the course and dismissed my fears. I knew it was the wrong one, and it ended up that I was walking around with a rampant E.coli infection for two and half months. Every day I woke up and thought I was dying. One day I looked in the mirror and I was black, literally my skin colour was that colour. I am lucky as I have private health insurance and got into a cab and headed to London and was admitted immediately for IV antibiotics for two weeks. For the last year I have been terrified it would come back and it did twice, the last round of IV antibiotics didn't work. I started HRT which helped a bit and am on vaginal oestrogen but if menopausal UTIs are your thing it is a hideous condition to have. I never thought the menopause would mean I could be seriously ill.

It's incurable as well, so the only thing you can do is treat the symptoms. I have tried everything but my bacteria are so unusual and so resistant that I am now under a specialist in London. I feel if I'd been listened to in the first place, believed, told it was menopausal and given the right treatment then it would not have got so out of hand. I cannot travel, and often have to cancel appointments at the last minute. The symptoms are unusual as well, not frequent peeing, but violent flu like symptoms and pelvic pain which make you feel so rough you have to leave wherever you are and get home. It's caused no end of stress on my mental health and I am really tough and stoic. What maddens me is we can get to Mars but we can't sort out complex UTI's in women. There is also the undercurrent of fear of sepsis which I try and forget about but it's there. Sometimes I feel I am living in a nightmare from which I will never wake up.”

“Having suffered with hormonal migraines all of my adult life, my migraines became unbearable. I started to suffer with anxiety and panic attacks. Then I started with stiff joints and rosacea, which appeared without warning and was angry and inflamed. I constantly contacted my GP for help and each symptom was treated individually being told I was too young to be going through peri menopause. No GP seemed to want to investigate that avenue due to my age (41 at the time) instead I was offered anti-depressants but I knew this wasn’t depression. I’m now almost 43 and have finally found a Dr in my surgery who took the time to listen and advise. I’ve been on oestrogen gel 2 months along with the progesterone pill and the difference it’s made is incredible. I’m finally starting to feel like me again.”

“Married at 34, menopause started at 36, but misdiagnosed. No guidance, no treatment, early body issues including lady parts issues. HRT out of question due to heart issues. Shut up shop and deal with it is about all I have been told. Taken toll on marriage and every bit of me.”

“I'm 43 and have been suffering for the past two years with perimenopausal symptoms. I live in NYC and I work in healthcare (ironic). I started with an Endocrinologist Specialist. I discussed my sudden weight gain despite being in a calorie deficit and working out 4x a week. I was put on Lomaira 8mg because I ventured prior and tried Phentermine.

I felt in constant state of Tachycardia and there went the Phentermine, out the door. I tried Lomaira it didn't put a dent in the scale. I took more aerobic classes, yoga, HIT and nothing improved. In the midst of all this on a winters day while commuting in 20-degree weather I would get a hot flash. I would strip down the winter gear on the subway while I watched other commuter’s shiver.

Here is one symptom no one talks about or they don’t dare touch the subject....the itch! Who knew my labia was getting thinner? Did I have a yeast infection? Why do I want to use a fork to itch my lady’s parts? What is this? Then we have insomnia.....hearing my husband snore at 2am while he's on dream 5 could drive anyone to a first degree murder charge. Sex, don't touch me. I have no desire. If I never have sex again its ok, it's not okay but it's the mental state.

I'm not depressed I'm in perimenopause and it's hell. I do not need an SSRI I need HRT I need a woman to say I get it, I LIVED it, I understand. I have been back and forth with providers on this subject and it falls on deaf ears even in my healthcare world. I have access to some world-renowned MDs and no one knows how to approach the subject. HRT is frowned upon. Ask anyone the answer is you'll get through it do not do HRT. I recent had an MD appointment and was prescribed HRT and I'm going to try it because I believe the pros outweigh the cons. Why should I suffer in my 40s? Why should I not feel sexy? I'm NOT depressed and I don't have an eating disorder and I'm not crazy!! I'm going through something no one openly discusses.

It's horrendous in a such a world full of access to information, Media and articles that this subject is so underrated! It's quite frustrating and disappointing to think that women do not want to band together to openly discuss the itch, the body aches the lack of sex and the sex drive that once was. I will take my ass to the pharmacy fill those HRT prescriptions and go for regular checkups and annual mammograms in the name of losing belly fat, hip fat and ditching hot flashes.”

“It’s been a long struggle with my female health; from heaven periods as a young teen to endometriosis diagnosis, to PCOS, to medicated menopause’s.  And on the 9th laparoscopy, I went to see a private gynecologist for help.

I had a total hysterectomy, including removal of my cervix at age 35 - sadly the aftercare wasn’t great and I was just left with a “one size fits all” HRT.

This HRT sadly was not appropriate for me, nor for my age at the time.

After much battling and personal research, at now age 38, I’ve found the right gynecologist which is helping to get me back on the right female health path!

Keep fighting, don’t give up and remember knowledge is power!”

“My doctor prescribed me anti-depressants & told me to get some sleep, I had to pay to get the right diagnosis! I’m now worried my doctors won’t prescribe me medication that’s been helping.”

“I had just turned 51, in fairness it was in the middle of a pandemic, so I put a lot of my symptoms down to the huge change in society that we all experienced.. by November 2021, I felt like I was having a mental breakdown. My anxiety was through the roof, I worried incessantly and irrationally about my health and my children. Every small issue became huge. I convinced myself I was inevitably going to have a heart attack, I suffered from stabbing pains in my chest. I would often go to bed at night and think, well if I die of a heart attack while I am asleep at least the worry will all be over. (My maternal grandmother died in her sleep of a heart attack) and my own mother had a heart attack at 64). I convinced myself it was inevitable. I also worried that terrible things would happen my children, I feared my son would take his own life (with absolutely no reason as he does not suffer from mental health issues) and I worried my daughters would be attacked etc when out. When I went to sleep at night, my heart pounded in my chest and I would rarely sleep more than a few hours.

I eventually counselled myself to go speak to my GP, considering my matriarchal history, I was sent to a cardiologist who after extensive tests assured me I had no cardiac issues but potentially something digestive. I was diagnosed with a hiatus hernia in Feb 2022. My GP who had initially suggested HRT (which I refused as I felt I had cardiac issues), brought up the subject again on another visit (November 2023). Having ruled out all my health issues and still suffering from huge anxiety, I agreed to give it a go. Six months later, I am using oestrogen patches and the mirena. (Already in). My anxiety is minimal, I feel good in myself, my confidence has returned and my family say I am happier and in better form than I have been in many years. My GP was nothing but supportive and helpful, my initial resistance was based on fear and ignorance of HRT and a lack of open conversation. Things are improving and I hear more and more people talking about it, but the stories I hear from other women and their experiences with their GP's make me realise that I am the outlier, one of the very lucky women who had a good sympathetic GP who was informed and helped me to come to an informed decision on options.”

“Apparently, I am now post-menopausal and luckily enough, didn't notice anything major going through the menopause. Over the last few months however, I have felt so many changes.
I feel detached from myself and pretty hopeless, as if my purpose on this planet is over.

I have high anxiety and any kind of pressure, I immediately think and fantasize about ending my life. I've always been a bit socially awkward and anxious, but this is so bad now. I can't make eye contact and will just apologise to anyone, for no apparent reason.

I then also feel resentful and everything irritates me. I work in an office with a majority of young people and it saddens me that they don't want to hear my stories and just see me as old. I find them pretty dull and self-indulgent, plus not genuine or real. My memory just goes blank in an instant and I have no idea what I am meant to be doing. I feel pretty isolated too.

I am aching all over and my belly has suddenly become all baggy and bulging, even though I exercise as much as possible. My sex drive is virtually diminished and I can't bare to look at myself. When I do, it knocks me sick.

My GP (female) has told me she doesn't believe in HRT treatment and I don't need it. I take the mini pill, so I think I am suffering with my oestrogen levels and I could possibly benefit from something to help specifically with this. Instead, I have been offered anti-anxiety medication. I took one tablet and it made me really ill. The GP said I need to give it time for my body to get used to it, but I can't do this to myself, it feels like poison. I have been assessed by a Counsellor and my score indicates moderate to severe Social Anxiety and Depression, but I really do think it's hormonal imbalance or lack of hormones.

I feel a bit lost, but the menopause support on Instagram is really helping me, I just don't know what to do as no one in the medical profession seems to want to listen or deal with what seems obvious to me.”

“I have probably typed, deleted, re-typed and reworded this post about 100 times. I have also debated even posting about it at all for many reasons but here goes…

At the age of 33 I was diagnosed with premature ovarian insufficiency (POI) aka peri menopause.

I always thought menopause was something that happened to older ladies (normal average age is between 45-51) so you can imagine my shock when my GP explained that basically my ovaries had decided to pack in early.

The immediate implications I thought of was my fertility and the ability to have children which sadly have been diminished. Even though I haven’t felt at a point in my life to have children just yet I didn’t want the option off the table for good.

However, after opening this can of worms called menopause, I learned there are far more serious health implications which I hadn’t even considered.

My risk of osteoporosis, cardiovascular disease among other conditions has sky rocketed due to the fact I am so young and not producing the right hormone requirements (oestrogen/progesterone) for someone my age to protect my heart and bones. I was put forward for a DEXA scan to tell me the condition of my bones and luckily all was fine. This is something I will have to keep retesting but I can only thank my job and lifestyle for keeping me otherwise strong and healthy and hopefully limiting my risk for all of the above 🤞🏻

And then there were the symptoms themselves; anxiety, extreme fatigue, no motivation, memory loss or “brain fog”, insomnia and the hot flushes. Ignorantly of me I had heard other ladies complain about them previously but never really appreciated just how difficult they can be.

You hear stories of women losing their jobs, their relationships and I guess, themselves really as their hormones are pretty much through the floor. I can totally empathise with that now after about 6 months of just not feeling myself, not wanting to go to work, the gym, socialise with friends…all the things I love, I was really struggling to face.

I felt ashamed, isolated, angry, and confused…there are currently no explanations as to why idiopathic POI can occur. Much of the information I have found I have pretty much had to source myself along with the help of some amazing ladies who have gone through something similar.

I find it completely astonishing that as young girls we are all given sex education, how to avoid pregnancy, taught about our periods yet we are not educated on possibly the most debilitating thing EVERY woman will have to go through at some point. I feel like even though it is talked about more it is still a very misunderstood and taboo topic.

I can’t help but think had I known more about it all sooner could I have spotted my symptoms and acted sooner both in terms of family planning and treatment. But I guess there’s no point living in hindsight, the only way is forwards and I really want to turn this negative experience into a positive for others, to raise awareness so that one day each and every woman knows the signs, symptoms and has an arsenal of information to turn to.

Let’s get talking about women’s health more, let’s get talking about the menopause more so no one is left feeling like I did initially.

Don’t let menopause put your life on pause, push for the help and treatment you need.”

“Where to start? It wasn’t as simple as waking up one morning as a different person but an ugly, slow, & very sad decline. Palpitations, heavy periods, night sweats, mood swings & the brain fog soon crept up like a demon but I was informed too young for peri menopause. Mirena coil helped with heavy periods but that was all on offer at 43.

Suffered from an ankle fracture & dislocation from simply missing a step. Still no bloods or mention of menopause. I spent many years feeling truly suicidal. Where had ‘I’ gone??? The REAL ME?? My relationship broke down & I struggled with my career due to brain fog and low mood. No help or advice from work. After 15 yrs of being a hands on clinical manager & 30 yrs in healthcare (yes! I work in healthcare of all places!) I finally handed in my notice as I couldn’t cope with the brain fog anymore. I felt useless and the anxiety of potentially missing something with my patients was too much to carry.

6 months later my GP agreed I was at the correct age at 51 & offered HRT patches at last. The difference was AMAZING. I was back!! ME! The REAL ME!

 I still grieve for the lost years where suicide seemed my only option & the loss of my career which I loved but I feel so much better. It’s not all plain sailing as I required a changes/ increase strength due to returning symptoms a few years later & still trying to tailor the doses but no longer in that very sad dark place.

Please ladies, don’t feel bad for continually asking your GP, you know your body & when things aren’t right. I wish you all luck, strength & courage on your journey & hopefully our daughters will benefit from our generation of menopause discovery.”

“I used to be a prison officer in a huge men's prison in London- I was on the riot squad, and also in the gym every day. I was super fit and strong, and very active. In 2015 when I was 34 I ended up having to leave the job, because I was falling asleep at work, putting on huge amounts of weight for no reason, and losing strength suddenly in my muscles or joints and I couldn't do the job any more.

For the next 7 years I begged my GPs to tell me what was wrong with me, but time and time again they told me there was nothing wrong with me- that I just needed to lose weight. I had gone from a size 10 to an 18, and not because I wasn't active! I lost jobs, had terrible fights in relationships, spent years being called lazy. After about 5 years of this, I went back to my GP in tears, armed with a list of symptoms (there seemed to be hundreds!), and she told me I probably have a winter cold, and to stop coming in because I was wasting her time. I haven't been to a GP since.

It was only after 7 years of this horror (and being prescribed anti-depressants I didn't need) that the flood night sweats started and I finally figured out for myself it was peri, a word I had never even heard before! Now I have a new GP and I'm terrified to go in case they gaslight me again- I don't have the strength to go through what I've been through with incompetent and uncaring GPs the last 8 years.”

“My little boy was born 2019 and I was 43. The emergency c-section was a shock but living with a hormone imbalance 6 months on was an even bigger shock. I had a newborn who depended on me, covid maternity leave and a feeling things weren’t quite right with my health. I visited my GP so many times over 18 months I had lost count, had multiple bloods taken (which indicated huge hormone swings), struggled with complete brain fog, excruciating joint pain, overwhelming tiredness but couldn’t sleep at night, hot sweats, mood swings the list goes on. It was obvious to me what was happening but my GP just wanted to wait it out….. until such time I’d just had enough and visited once more to be offered anti-depressants!!! I paid privately in the end because I felt I had no other choice. I could no longer live with the joint pain in my ankles & feet which was unbearable, it was affecting the whole family. It has cost me in excess of £900 in consultations and HRT patches medication (we’re not well off, I work and was fortunate I could self-fund but we had to cut back and make sacrifices to afford this private route) the results are incomparable. I’ve got myself back, pain free, I’m no longer suffering and at last enjoying being mummy to a wonderful lively 3 year old who I feel even though I’m still tired I can keep pace with his day to day energy.”

“2014 I started with symptoms but as I was 34 I was told it was severe pms. I hadn’t heard of peri at that point. Fast forward 9 years, now 42. I tick almost every peri symptom. GP booked blood test, they tested FBC and Thyroid. The apparently didn’t select the correct hormone test like they said they would. What was I given? Sertraline and a referral to psychiatry and CMHT. Physical symptoms and fact I’ve not had a period since December.”

“Have been suffering with perimenopause since turning 45 although like many others was not clear what I was suffering from. I'm now 47 and am taking Evorel Sequi patches but life continues to be a battle. Have felt very alone recently as have suffered with chronic anxiety which has affected my working life. Although there's a policy in place no daily support is provided. Am grateful for the awareness by the menopause warriors out there including Menopause Mandate. The awareness is needed and prevents isolation!”

“I started my menopause at 35. All the women on my maternal side had early menopause, most finished their periods by early 40s. I was told I was too young to be in the menopause. My periods increased from 13 a year to 19 and I ended up with a hysterectomy at 41 because I bled for five months and then after a week’s grace, another four months. I now have osteoporosis in my lower back and my bladder control is not so good. I wasn’t pre-warned about these and wish I’d never had the hysterectomy. I feel I have been treated as a guinea pig regarding the osteoporosis… lots of treatment with no real results. I could not have HRT as some of my uterus was left in because it had adhered to my bladder when I had a Caesarian section. I feel like a nothing as my libido has gone. I feel robbed of my womanhood.”

“I was 43 when I really started to feel unwell. I first went to my GP and they sent me for some tests but nothing came out of it. My symptoms worsened so I went back and this time I said ‘could it be menopause?’ They disregarded me as too young. I was at the rock bottom by the end of the year with crippling anxiety, panic attacks and host of other symptoms but I had to see 7 different GPs to get HRT. Even then I had to do my research and go in asking for it. Every GP offered me anti-depressants instead.”

“I was around 38 when my symptoms started, although I didn’t know it at the time. I thought I was just becoming more anxious and forgetful. After being sent for blood tests (that I now know are a waste of time) I was told that it was unlikely I was peri-menopausal due to my age and even if I was, I was to wait until the symptoms were unmanageable before starting HRT. I still don’t understand why that was the advice off my female GP of 20 years! I was so disappointed. Eventually, after two years of suffering and a lot of reading and research, I realised I was 100% peri and I went back armed with facts (mainly from Dr Louise Newson) and I got HRT Oestrogel on my 40th birthday. It has taken some time to get my dosage right but I can honestly say it was the best thing I ever done. When I speak to family and friends about perimenopause, the first thing I say is ‘please don’t let any doctor tell you you’re too young’ I feel so upset when I see someone suffering with no support. Keep sharing our stories ladies, it will always resonate with someone.”

“I’m 41 and the menopause has destroyed my life. I have just lost my job because of my depression and social anxiety have got so out of control it caused me to self-harm while I was at my desk. I find it so difficult being in a busy place because of the noise and other people irritating me. I've found I need quiet to control my thoughts. It's not just my mental health, but all the everyday aches and pains, headaches, nausea upset stomach, cravings for milk, no energy and I'm lucky if I get a couple of hours sleep night. My skin is dry, everything hurts, my partner doesn't even want to understand. I've no sex drive, which is upsetting him too. My GP refuses to acknowledge I’m going through menopause as I'm 'too young' and only prescribes anti-depressants. Both generations on my mum’s side had menopause in their late 30s, early 40s. I just feel I have no support, and no help from the healthcare profession........ even though I worked in it. MY employer would rather say I'm unfit to do my job, then support me to do it.”

“I was diagnosed with hormone related breast cancer when I was 47, had surgeries, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. I was also offered Tamoxifen which I refused due to the list of awful side effects that may occur. After refusal it was thought best to have my ovaries removed to stop me producing hormones, I really wasn’t prepared to being thrown head first into menopause, and all of the side effects of it, weight gain, sweats, insomnia, brain fog, joint pain, and many more which could be caused by either menopause or the cancer treatment.

I’ve been left with such anxiety and depression but I can’t have HRT which could potentially help me. I feel unheard by my family and friends and the medical professionals.

I haven’t managed to go back to work, I had a professional job, I just feel stuck while I wait for these symptoms to subside.”

“I’d like to tell you about the very poor and inconsistent treatment I’ve had from my GP surgery in the 7 months since I was diagnosed as having gone through the menopause and having been put on HRT. I’ve suffered badly from a range of symptoms including nightly insomnia, daytime exhaustion,  low mood, anxiety and migraines. I have today been in to the doctors for the 4th time to be told each time by a different GP that the previous GP (different ones in the same practice) had each put me on a treatment plan that apparently ‘didn’t make sense’. I’ve seen reversals of treatments others in the same practice had prescribed, head scratching and total confusion related to something these GPs should be well versed in i.e. how to treat menopause symptoms. This has included being told by 1 GP to stop taking the Contraceptive pill ‘as there is no way you could get pregnant now’ followed by another GP telling me 4 months later that I absolutely shouldn’t have been told to come off the pill as I’m still at a theoretical risk of getting pregnant for another 8-10 years.

The upshot is that I’ve been much more ill than I needed to be. The various mistreatments I’ve been through have extended my symptoms and suffering rather than easing then. Extremely heavy bleeding after being erroneously prescribed oestrogen without progesterone saw me unable to leave the house due to the serious level of bleeding I was experiencing, becoming so depleted and confused from blood loss that I was unable to work - falling asleep in online meetings and confusing my words. Not being able to look after my kids due to total exhaustion and, I suspect, anemia.

This week after having been prescribed a quadruple dose of progesterone at the start of March (by a locum GP who started the consultation off by saying I’d opted to put myself through HRT potentially when I didn’t need to?!?), I’ve become so unwell with low mood that my partner has been in fear of me harming myself at times. Seeing another GP today - finally after several calls to the surgery and 111 saying I was desperate for help - I saw the surprise in their face at the high level of progesterone the previous doctor in that surgery had prescribed. I was told to stop taking it immediately. I now have zero trust in these doctors and am left feeling totally faithless in any changes to my HRT treatment that they suggest. I’m currently on another week of sick leave and wondering where I go from here…”

“I was fired from my job yesterday, had been there 9 months, had a change of boss just before Christmas and it made me start to feel anxious, to the point I was crying before going to work and crying at work. I felt my tolerance level was a lot less than normal and wasn’t feeling myself. Began taking some herbal supplements, but they haven’t kicked in yet, already on HRT which has really only helped with hot flushes. I had mentioned to my boss that I was suffering from brain fog due to the menopause.

I was told yesterday I was no longer a fit for the company and the decision had been made to terminate my employment, there were no consultations, no reviews of my performance, it was all one sided. I had thought of going to the HR director to chat my issues over with her, but decided it was a sign of weakness, I didn’t want 30 something thinking I was old and over the hill.

My advice, don’t suffer in silence, let your work place know you are struggling (not sure if this would have helped me or not), would like to think that the HR department had read up on Menopause in the workplace, but sadly for me I didn’t get the opportunity.

I now feel as though I am on the scrap heap at 55, it will take me a while to regroup and try and get my confidence back. Lucky for me I have a supportive husband and my Dr has taken bloods to see where my oestrogen levels are.

Don’t suffer in silence girls, we all go through this at some stage in life!”

“When I had a surgical menopause back in 2014, I had no support and wasn’t at all prepared for the menopausal symptoms I was about to experience. Surgical menopause can often lead to severe symptoms, as you go from having normal levels of oestrogen to literally nothing overnight. Despite this, the only conversation I’d had with a medical professional, was the day after my operation, when I was asked whether I wanted HRT, in much the same way I was asked if I needed any more painkillers. I politely declined the offer, after all, surely a few hot flushes couldn’t be that bad?
Oh my goodness, I couldn’t have been more wrong and needless to say I had a terrible time of it!
But worst still, whilst, trying to come to terms with all these sudden, weird and unexpected symptoms, I was also coming under increasing pressure to return to work as I neared the end of “the standard six-week recovery period”. This was in spite of still trying to find the most effective HRT and as a result, crying constantly at everything - the news, TV programmes, adverts, books, even people being nice to me - everything! And when I approached my GP about this, saying I didn’t feel well enough to return to work, he simply advised “well I can’t put menopausal symptoms down as a reason on your sick note” and suggested I go on antidepressants. I knew this wasn’t the solution, even if watching Billy Elliott, was leaving me sobbing uncontrollably. As emotional as the film is, this simply wasn’t me and I was finding my over-emotional self a really hard thing to come to terms with.
But feeling I had no other option, I gritted my teeth, packed my tissues and returned to work, despite knowing I wasn’t well enough. To cut a long story short, I ended up resigning from a job I loved (and was also very good at) because my then employer - which ironically had an all-female leadership team - showed no understanding or interest in my situation.

It’s no exaggeration to say that during my darkest days, I really did think I was going mad. And indeed, research shows that if this had happened to me in the 1800s, I would probably have been considered mad and subject to the “Lock ‘em up” approach which saw menopausal women institutionalised, especially those who enjoyed a glass of wine (so my fate would definitely have been sealed). That said, given the number of women who are offered antidepressants as a treatment for menopause, I’m not sure how far many GPs have actually moved-on.
“The Change” unfortunately still generally remains a taboo subject, even amongst many women. That’s why we need to talk about it, to your mums, dads, brothers, sisters, children - anyone. And for those dealing with this, or about to, it’s so important to learn about it. Do your research and approach your GP armed with the facts and knowledge.

Life on HRT has been fantastic for me, I have never felt better. Being on HRT has given me the energy to get fit and healthy. I lost 4 stone through exercise and healthy eating, disproving the myth that weight gain is a given after menopause.

To end, I just want to say that there’s no question during the menopause things can feel quite grim. But once over that, most women find that life post-menopause is one of nature’s best kept secrets.
For me, post-50 is the golden age of life!”

“My perimenopause was when I was 43 and quite suddenly felt different. My periods were still regular but I had urinary frequency. My GP said I was too young to have peri so sent me for ultrasound testing. This showed nothing so I started on a drug which I’m still on now..it does decrease the frequency. Then at 48.5 my periods just stopped. By 50 I was having hot flushes and brain fog and rage and sleepless nights. On my third attempt with my female GP I got HRT and had to try 3 types before I found one that helped.it has improved my symptoms considerably. Now I just hope every month that Oestrogel and Utrogestan are available, several times it is not!”

“Perimenopause came on suddenly for me, one minute I was fine, the next I was breaking down crying in the toilets in work. I couldn't cope anymore. Every morning I was in and out of cold showers, trying to control the hot flushes and the uncontrollable rage until I'd be sobbing again and late for work. I resigned with no job to go to, I'd had enough and thought I was going mad. I'd worked full time for 25 years and suddenly I found myself walking out of my job and abandoning my career, but the worst thing was the feeling of absolutely not caring. I didn't care that I was throwing away a successful career, I didn't care that I had bills to pay and no income, I couldn't carry on anymore it was as simple as that. I went to my GP, who said I was too young for menopause. I've since found out my mum was 39 and I was 44 at the point. My boyfriend booked me a private menopause appointment because he couldn't watch me so upset anymore trying to get the GP to listen. I had HRT the next day and after 2 days the difference was astounding. I've not had a hot flush since and the rage has gone. I've still got joint pain and brain fog, but started testosterone this week, so fingers crossed this helps as well. If I hadn't gone private and got HRT, I genuinely think I would have killed myself because the despair was so debilitating, I felt like I could just walk off, keep on walking and never come back like a depressed Forest Gump!”

“I'm a headteacher and started to have a panic attacks at work. Two doctors put it down to 'having a stressful job', but I knew something had changed.... I used to be able to cope and had never been in a position where I couldn't stop crying uncontrollably. I was very close to getting counselling and/or reducing my hours when I was diagnosed with 'early ovarian failure' and prescribed HRT. Next challenge was finding a chemist that had the progesterone in stock....but finally got there and am now back to my old self!”

“I have been suffering and yes 'suffering' is the word, for at least 10 years! In this time, I have had tests for dementia, been given depression medication, been diagnosed (incorrectly, I now think) with Fibromyalgia and given very strong drugs for it, had tests because of heart palpitations and been given drugs for that. Had a Mirena coil fitted because of periods so bad I couldn't leave the house for two days! I have had a hearing test because of tinnitus, attended a private counsellor (and spent a fortune) for anxiety issues, fallen and broken my ankle in an accident I should have been able to walk away from, been treated for dry itchy skin, metatarsalgia and plantar fasciitis as well as had private hypnosis for sleep issues!

In ALL THIS TIME not once did my doctor suggest I may be perimenopausal and offer me help!
If I hadn't spoken to a friend when at my absolute wits end and discovered a menopause support group online, then discovered Davina McCall I would still be suffering!!!
I would say do your research then arm yourself with the 2015 NICE guidelines and make your doctor listen to you.”

“I went to my GP recently after weeks of getting up in the night 5 or 6 times for a wee. Exhausting. I asked if it could be to do with the menopause or HRT, which I've been on for about 8 months now. She (yep the GP is a woman) said, 'I doubt it'. End of that conversation.

Her concern was that I've lost weight. About 10lbs since last summer when I started HRT. Yep, I've cut out alcohol, cakes and eating crap. I’ve had 2 courses of antibiotics. Amoxicillin was one for just 5 days.

This week I went back as I'm still peeing lots at night. Another urine sample where blood was detected. Because of the weight loss as well she's fast tracked me for scans and cystoscopy incase, I've got cancer of the bladder! I was in shock. Still am. Terrified. Menopause was not discussed. Yet she's sitting in front of my records! Today I received a hospital appointment.

Then, today my husband watched BBC Morning Live where the GP said that one of the problems during menopause is UTIs and you can have blood in urine samples. I was out at the time but he couldn't believe what he'd heard (coincidence?) and we watched it again on catchup.

Then I grabbed my copy of Davina's 'Menopausing' book. From page 192 it's all about menopause/excessive weeing at night, UTIs etc etc. That's me!!!

The fear my GP has caused saying it could be bladder cancer you cannot believe. Will the urologist at my hospital appointment listen to me and be knowledgeable about menopause and UTIs?

I'm so incensed by the lack of basic knowledge from the medical profession. I've taken a screenshot of page 192 and 193 of Davina's book and will show it to the urologist. I'm also going to contact the GP about my latest findings. Or should I make another appointment with her and take Davina’s book? I'm so angry that I've been misdiagnosed. I've no pain, no cystitis symptoms.

I put on weight because of the menopause but, thanks to HRT, which has given me more energy too, I'm losing it again.”

“The Menopause hit me hard. Night sweats; brain fog; forgetfulness; crying for no reason, the list goes on. I felt useless at work, as a mum and wife. My cognitive ability was poor, and I had to write everything down. I was struggling. I went on various HRTs, but the GP kept changing it because there was a shortage, so, my journey continued with some interruption by the HRT, but it was no good. I decided to go cold turkey, read up on taking control back and decided to fight and show I was still worth it.

I embarked on studying at work to improve my cognitive ability and try and retain information. My journey to 'recovery' led me to take an exam, which I passed. I found myself promoted, and am now a Sergeant at West Yorkshire Police. It seems I am worth it after all.

My moto, never ever give up, do this for yourself and be strong. You are still worth it.”

“I was offered anti-depressants. I wasn’t depressed.
Was told, you’re too young (38) I’d had n periods for a year. After 4 GP appointments, a paid private consultant fighting my corner and another GP appointment with a disgruntled doctor, being sent orders…
Finally I get HRT, 2 years later and ‘I’M BACK’ *insert high kick!! Someone’s turned the lights back on. I’m lucky I’m still married, to a very patient person. I’m lucky I’m still employed. I was on the verge of being unemployable. Thankfully my children thought my brain fog was hilarious and not worrying! But most importantly, I feel like me again. I was MIA. A hollow existence.”

“I was treated for over 10 years for depression with anti-depressants but I now know it was actually peri menopause and hormonal imbalance. I took the step to get private bio ID hormones based on my blood tests I had done with the clinic and it’s been life changing. Crippling anxiety gone, insomnia gone, joint pain gone, irritability and low isolated thoughts gone. All for the cost of a full hormonal blood test and correct hormone prescription based on that test. If I waited on the NHS I still wouldn’t have been given the blood test yet as it hasn’t been a full year yet since my last period. This one size fits all approach to women’s health and hormones has to change. I currently pay £149 a month for my bio ID HRT which I gladly do because it’s changed my life so much, but I really shouldn’t have to pay, it should be available to me through the NHS. Drug addicts don’t have to pay for their methadone do they? Or means Viagra is available on prescription isn’t it? But women’s health is not treated equally and I have to pay privately to get the treatment that suits my hormone imbalance the best.”

“After a hysterectomy at 32 (2003) due to endometriosis & an adverse reaction to HRT initially I was advised to try without HRT for a while, which worked for a few years. Unfortunately, it was never re-prescribed despite GP visits due to what are now seemingly obvious symptoms such as brain fog, palpitations, anxiety, low mood, extreme exhaustion and so much more. Even bouts of being house/sofa bound and becoming so poorly over many years I was eventually diagnosed with ME in 2016 and had to give up a good job in the council. So much damage has been done to my life, I’m not sure I will ever recover. On HRT now since Feb 2022 but only because I started work as a secretary to a gynae consultant who picked up on this due to my health struggles in that post. Feeling better since being on the HRT but the damage to career, life, relationships, finances, confidence, mental health is irreparable. Still struggling to work but cannot afford not to; now 52 too tired to function, mid divorce with my mental health in tatters.”

“I’m 44 and went into early menopause.
Doctors gave me a HRT
No other options
I left my job
Getting out of bed was almost impossible
Doctors refused to listen
And referred me to mental health services
Made me feel guilty, ashamed,
Still trying to source help myself.

Would love to go back to doctors with options.”

“At age 43, I experienced a sudden urgent need to wee very often and I felt strange in between like my bladder wasn’t emptied. Went to GP I didn’t have a urine infection, had a pelvic scan and nothing showed. Sent for a cystoscopy all was clear. Was given Tolterodine for overactive bladder. This helped and later changed to mirabegron with less side effects. At the same time my periods were getting heavy and I was anxious about all of it. GP said no way not menopause you’re too young. Was sent to Gynecology to have a colposcopy. He suggested a mirena coil but I wasn’t keen. At 48 I had my last period. I asked for HRT but was refused until a year after to be in menopause. 2020 and at 49 with hot flushes and broken sleep and only Econsult! I requested HRT again and eventually got it. First two prescriptions were no good (side effects) but finally got Oestrogel and progesterone.
Had hysteroscopy and a breast cyst last year.
Even writing this I’m amazed at how many procedures I’ve had and am so grateful for.
I do wonder if I had got hormone help 8 years ago as was clearly peri menopausal I may have avoided some of it.”

“Thank you for all the work you are doing on behalf of the menopaused.
I am not doing too badly with mine - no flushes or brain fog or anxiety - but my periods have gone mad. Heavy, painful, lengthy, unpredictable: they adversely affect my work, sleep and social life. They've put me in hospital a number of times for emergency blood transfusions and iron infusions to treat blood-loss anemia so bad that I can't walk up a flight of stairs.

My GP recommends a Mirena coil to try and control them. Coils are available through sexual health clinics, which are funded to provide contraception, not other gynecological health services. My GP sheepishly advises me to lie about my contraceptive needs so I can get a coil fitted.

I'm 51. I don't have any children, and I've been single most of my adult life. Not one of those situations is emotionally uncomplicated. Can you imagine the humiliation of filling in the coil application form, inventing details of fertility issues and a sex life that doesn't exist in order to access treatment?

The GPs I know who are trying to work within this system are embarrassed by the advice they have to give women who are enduring similar conditions. Any light you are able to shine on this practice, or pressure you are able to bring to those in charge of these archaic and discriminatory funding models would be greatly appreciated by me and other women in my situation.”

“Having spent a long time actually getting a prescription for HRT I have been faced - every 2 months to work the lottery of availability of one or both parts of my prescription; it’s stressful and frustrating. I think the pharmacy staff must dread the menopausal women like me sounding off at every visit -please please can we resolve the supply issues as well!!!”

“I am approaching my 64th Birthday and think back wondering 'what if;' how my body is now maybe the result of the Menopause and lack of ignorance from my GP.
For a few years in my early 50's I kept going to my GP, in the end he sent me for a blood test of which I was told apparently showed I was indeed going through the Menopause, at NO point was my medical family background looked into, at no point was I offered any further help.
My joints and muscles continually hurt me beyond speech some days, I know I have Osteo Arthritis and was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, but how do I know IF these are part of the Menopause.
Due to a severe Fish Allergy I suffered out of the blue about 17 years ago I now do not eat ANY fish, I am scared to take multi vitamins or anything containing Omega Fish Oil, as a result my body is behaving like it is 90 years of age. I am scared, I don't know where to turn and sadly my Mum is no longer here, I feel so so ALONE.”

“I found out I was going through the menopause when I was 52 years old. Previous to that, I had had the symptoms for two years. I went to my doctor for two years because the symptoms were unbearable. I was getting up about 2 to 3 times a night with hot flushes, unable to sleep, having suicidal and racing thoughts, feeling hopeless. It was only when I had a blood test that I found out that I had the menopause. Before that I had been put on anti-depressants which made my symptoms worse. Funnily enough, the people that I found who were most understanding of my plight were men, NOT women.”

“The best years of my life have been stolen. That’s how I feel. From my early thirties I went from a confident, strong minded and capable woman to a nervous, scared and crippled with anxiety one, and a shell of who I used to be.

 After having my child at age 32 I got what I thought was a little post-natal depression, after 10 months it seemed to ease but I never felt how I used to feel pre pregnancy. I lost count of the visits to the Dr’s who just prescribed anti depression meds and eventually beta blockers to deal with the symptoms. But nothing really helped with finding the route cause. I told them how bad it was at certain times of the month but no one listened.

So for over 20 years I’ve lived my life with little to no confidence, struggling to do anything on my own, unable to drive far from my home due to the anxiety not to mention the friends who melted away due to how I was and how unreliable I could be due to never knowing how I’d feel each day and breaking plans last minute.

I’m now almost 57 and took it upon myself to do something about this it or at least try after seeing various articles and shows about menopause and perimenopause and recognising myself in virtually every symptom.

I’ve now been on bio identical hormones for 3 months and it’s been life changing. I no longer have anxiety; I feel more confident and the mental brain fog has gone. I can’t help but feel my last 20 odd years have been stolen from me by what feels like neglect of care, and all for the sake of a truly in-depth blood test not just the FSH levels I used to hear them talk about! I don’t take any medication other than my HRT now. I can never prove how much they let me down, but I know they did, and I can never get those years back again.”

“For 8 years I've battled menopause, which hit me like a truck. In a matter of weeks, I lost my entire sense of self-confidence, normal quick wittedness, attention to/ awareness of any of kind of detail, my memory just went. Within months I didn't recognise my body anymore. I was totally unprepared for how profound the change in all of me would be and it felt impossible to articulate accurately how much grief I was experiencing for the person I'd always been, without sounding either mad or ludicrously self-absorbed. I didn’t want more children but not being able to have another also triggered immense unexpected sadness about a previous miscarriage and termination I'd had 20 and 30 years previously.

I'm 8 years in and still having symptoms- I can't have HRT as it gives me migraines due to progesterone sensitivity and I've been told I'm therefore a stroke risk. In addition, I was diagnosed with ADHD last year - the symptoms of which become far more pronounced in women during menopause and these can be reduced greatly with HRT. ADHD in women is vastly underdiagnosed as the symptoms present so differently in girls than they do in boys, so it's often missed until women's hormone levels change in later life.

There are so many layers to menopause, it's absolutely boggling and to be honest it's broken me.”

“I am going through surgical menopause, I had a full hysterectomy at 44 and was not told about the onslaught of surgical menopause and the harsh menopausal systems I will endure after surgery. Still now 2 years later I’m struggling to find Balance of my oestrogen levels and testosterone levels through my own survival and fight. Even after paying privately twice to see menopause specialists I have fought this battle alone and it has took everything from me; but we can't give up especially us women going through surgical menopause, we need better, quicker and more help now.”

“I need help urgent help re my health and menopause.

I’ve been reaching out for help, begging. Not being heard. Instead the Dr refers me to mental health units. No offer of another HRT. I have been on no medicine for over 6 months - Hair loss, rage, hot feet, tooth loss, memory loss.

I need real help and support fighting my GP. They have now diagnosed me with unstable emotional personality disorder ((without an assessment). I’m grieving the loss of my ex-husband, losing my job, menopause, infertility, caring for my dad and brother who is on methodone, never being a mum, stage 5 endometriosis and now this…with 0%.

I’m so scared. I have so many more symptoms. I need support with being heard.”

“Most people who know me well, know that I have been through a really tough couple of years. They know this because I have spoken to them about it. I didn’t at first, but it became so frightening, overwhelming, and isolating I needed help. My symptoms were crippling anxiety, emotional numbness, extreme exhaustion and a feeling of losing myself. She had gone. Packed up and left. I thought for good. I was sad. And scared. All the time.

Once I started talking about my symptoms, physical and consequential changes, my fears, my anxiety and loneliness, I realised I wasn’t alone. The hardest thing about accepting the menopause is that until recently, we didn’t talk about it. So how could I know that what I was experiencing was the peri/menopause.

I now realise that menopause is a life transition, and not a disease to be feared. Since embracing and dealing with these changes, I know I will never again be Me 1.0. Me 2.0 is no longer fearful of the future. And although I feel I’m still only 80% of who I was before the menopause, I can live with that. Because the alternative was not an option. For me.

This has been a long, long voyage of learning and discovery. One size does not fit all. It has taken me a long time to get to where I am, to find what I needed to do for myself, but I know I still have a way to go. I’ll keep talking. It saved me.

By talking with and because of the unfaltering support of my amazing partner (trust them, they want you to be ok) I know I’ll be ok. I couldn’t have done this without him. We kept talking. Thank you.

If you need to talk. Then do it. It’s like a releasing a pressure valve. Talk to your GP, to a specialist, to your friends, to your partner, to your family. Not everyone will understand or want to talk about the menopause. But someone will. And I will. And it will help.”

“My journey to my POI diagnosis began in 2020. I noticed my menstrual cycles becoming more irregular and spaced out. I also noticed some cycles becoming extremely heavy, which made me seek out advice from my OBGYN. During this time, my mother suddenly passed away from Covid, making me my father’s primary caretaker. He was diagnosed with Lewey Body Dementia a few years prior.

This was one of the darkest moments in my life. During this time of grieving, I was depressed and apathetic. I couldn’t get myself out of this dark hold that encompassed me. In addition to my loss, I was incredibly stressed because I didn’t know how to handle the situation with my father because he lives in New York. I thought the stress contributed to my irregular periods and bouts of depression. After the many tests my doctor performed, I was officially diagnosed with POI (Premature Ovarian Insufficiency). This means that my ovaries were no longer producing normal amounts of the hormone estrogen or releasing eggs regularly, causing infertility and early menopause. That’s when the anger set in. Going through early menopause and having the ability to have children, stripped from my life. Just like my mother’s life and my father’s health.

After weeks of incredible emotional pain, I made the choice to work with a therapist to help me process my grief and depression. My gynecologist was so incredibly kind and helpful, and was able to provide me with the right resources and options to treat the side effects of early menopause. Not many people are aware, but menopause (especially before your 50’s) can cause osteoporosis, heart disease and depression. Low Estrogen, Progesterone and Testosterone can bring these conditions on earlier, greatly affecting the quality of life. After discussing my options, I decided to go with HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) in the form of a compounding cream customized just for me at a local Compounding Pharmacy.

In about 2 week’s time, I noticed my energy levels change for the better. My mood improved greatly. After about a month’s time, my hormone levels improved and my estrogen was no longer below 10.

After the good news, I decided that I needed to be strong for my father and those closest to me. I began exercising and eating better on a daily basis. The hot flashes finally stopped as well, and I was able to get a great night’s sleep as well as focus and perform better as work.

I also changed my mindset as to what being a mother looks like. We can be mothers to our friends, to our family and to ourselves. There are so many options, such as adoption, foster care and even becoming a step parent. The options are out there, we just have to shift our mindset and let go of all our old expectations.

Today I choose to love my body, my mind and my POI diagnosis. We are strong women who can overcome anything. I am truly grateful for discovering THE DAISY NETWORK, a charity for all women facing POI and early menopause. They are an incredible support system and a great resource.

The Daisy Network is one of the platforms I will be advocating for in the upcoming US Continental Pageant in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. I am truly honored to be a part of this incredible opportunity and to share my story so I can inspire other women facing this condition. POI and early menopause need to be discussed freely without the stigma of shame. We are not any less of a woman because of diagnosis. We are strong women! We are POI Warriors!”

“When it began for me, I thought I was losing my mind; crying all the time, high anxiety, bad thoughts, body aches, weight gain, hair thinning, no sex drive, no energy - always tired, hot flashes, just hating life and the person I’ve become. I’ve been on premerin for 5 years now and it was a miracle pill for a while but within the last year I’m crying more. Anxiety is still there and a lot of other things. I just want my life back, who I use to be, I want to be happy again! I’m more irritated than happy. There are so many women like me, people need to understand more that this is ripping people’s life’s apart.”

“In 2012 I attended a meeting on BioTe HRT. Decided to get a hormone blood panel to see if I was a candidate. Was not having hot flashes but there were other symptoms (noted by my husband).
Still getting procedure done every 4- 5months. For me, I am back to osteopenia and feel great. My husband started as well after he saw the difference in me. I’m 70 yrs. young.”

“After years of very heavy bleeding and endometriosis pain, - when I developed a large complex but non-cancerous cyst on my ovary for the second time, I was told the best thing would be to remove the ovary and fallopian tube.

On the day of the operation the surgeon came to see me and said my hormone profile indicated I had more or less gone through menopause (even though it had only been 6 months since my last menstrual period) and that the hormones I had were not doing that much so might as well get rid of both to rule out future issues.

As a consultant surgeon, I feel that he viewed me as having a set of faulty organs, the answer being to remove them but I weep to think of my absolute ignorance in taking this one-dimensional view to be the whole picture. I was grateful for his care but didn’t realise I was effectively making an on-the-spot uneducated decision which would permanently change my physical and mental health, alone in a hospital waiting room.

Three years on I can look back and understand the joint pain, brain fog, weight gain, loss of libido, decline in mental health etc etc but I feel robbed of much of this time having spent it unprepared and in the dark. There was no aftercare beyond a surgical fix point of view. I’m now working on changing my own story through HRT, diet and exercise but any actions I’ve taken are thanks entirely to my enlightenment through the current amazing explosion of information sharing, education and campaigning.”

“I'm 48, about to turn 49. My birthday will mark another year in the wilderness that is perimenopause. Since turning 40 my world turned upside down and inside out. I was apparently too young for menopause symptoms and was prescribed anti-depressants for anxiety. They killed any joi de vivre I had left and I haven't recovered from anhedonia.

Once I hit the magic age of 45 my symptoms were finally taken seriously.

I've been on HRT for a while but I am struggling to get the right balance. Oestrogen has undoubtedly helped ease many of my symptoms but I now find I'm sensitive to progesterone. I felt better for about a year but now the craziness is back along with debilitating headaches.

Progress is too slow, I'm losing months of my life to searching for the right balance and I just feel like giving up.

Getting to see an NHS doctor who can help is almost impossible. I've even paid privately and that has been so slow too, not to mention painfully expensive. My symptoms are now affecting my work again and I'm frightened that I will lose my income.”

“In 2012 I had a hysterectomy; I can pinpoint the exact day things changed- within 2 days I was in full menopause. Before I left the hospital I asked the doctor for HRT, only to be told that as I had a history of blood clots 'I couldn't have HRT, but I probably wouldn't need them anyway'.
The next 10 years have been pure hell - my mental health became a massive issue, anxiety, agoraphobia, and suicidal thoughts... I was sent to 3 psychiatrists, worked through 9 yes 9 antidepressants none of which helped and I was eventually told they could do no more for me! I saw numerous therapists who dragged up long past 'trauma' which had been dealt with and forgotten- it was blamed for my depression (which was absolutely 100% not the cause).
Physically I was in constant pain and was diagnosed with Fibro, given painkillers which did nothing. The flushes and my mental health caused me to have to give up my career.

I couldn't sleep or slept too much depending on my mental health, I avoided people and never socialised, my libido took a massive nosedive and has been nonexistent since my wedding night. In 2015 I cried every single day without fail, felt worthless and empty and couldn't leave the house or visit my grandchildren I was totally isolated. I had many many occasions where I felt I'd be better off dead, I just wanted to stop feeling the way I did.

I existed during those 10 years, I didn't live and I'm so angry I was cheated out of that time by being refused HRT at the time of my surgery. During the entire 10 years at no time did any GP or the other health care professionals question whether it could be menopause.

1 month ago, I saw THE documentary and everything fell into place, the following day I made a private appointment with a menopause specialist. I have been on Oestrogel for 4 weeks and my life is so different already - the flushes have stopped, my mental health is so much better, my body pain is 80% better, I sleep properly and I can now leave my house....I just returned from seeing my brand new grandson, something 6 weeks ago would have been impossible .... HRT changes lives and ALL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS need to be educated on Menopause and the impact it has on women's lives on a daily basis.

I can look forward to my life again and therefore by the grace of God I'm still here to make that statement, sadly many women aren't!”

“I could not get to speak to a Dr for 6 weeks even though I said I knew it was menopause. I’d had a rough week; anxious, no confidence felt out of control with my emotions, cried with my daughter and held my grandson’s hand for what I thought would be the last time. I was an emotional mess. It got to Monday, I was a finance manager and it was payroll day and I was so brain fogged I cried my way through the day, when I got home at 3 I sat on the stairs and cried! I mentioned my day on a menopause FB page and a friend I knew from running locally reached out and messaged me; thank God she did, she told me to ring the Dr asap. I pleaded for an earlier appointment the receptionist asked why, I said because I won’t be here in 6 weeks, ‘oh I’ll get you a call today!!’ It saved my life but why aren’t we heard why is mental health not recognised with menopause? I have set up a Menopause North East Facebook page just for a bit of banter and a ‘you are not alone approach.’ I thought stupidly growing up that menopause was hot flushes and no periods! Even remember thinking when I was flooded off my feet… roll on menopause! How blooming wrong I was!”

“I’ve been menopausal for 2 years approx. been backwards and forwards to GPs about symptoms. Tried HRT no difference. Main symptoms are stomach issues, wind, different bowel symptoms, abdominal pain. Non-stop, doctors keep saying IBS, but I think it’s connected to menopause, had various scans etc. Battling everyday with symptoms and feel dreadful.”

“Hi I just listened to the BBC news at 7.25a.m. today. I have been suffering for years with the symptoms talked about. I hit rock bottom last week. Tried 3 times to get a Dr appt without success. I asked to have a nurse appt for women's over 45 health check and was told they have paused these spots due to flu vaccine and COVID winter vaccines. I finally got a telephone appt late on Friday to be told I needed an antidepressant. I don't want antidepressants. I need to be heard and given proper help. I have suffered with endometriosis and now my menopause symptoms are affecting every aspect of my life. It's like menopause is of no consequence to Drs even though it destroys the health and wellbeing of the person suffering.”

“Hi. I have been going through the menopause since February 2014. I have been struggling every day since with really bad symptoms i.e. hot flushes, mood swings, feeling low all the time, no sex drive. My problem is I can't go on HRT due to being on hormone tablets years ago which caused me to spend time in hospital, so ever since then I am unable to have HRT. I've been struggling. I have tried hormone patches but had to stop them due to having a skin reaction. My GP has had to write to Plymouth to the liver specialist to see if I can have the hormone gel but I have been waiting ages for a reply from Plymouth to see if I can have it. I don't know what to do I have suffered years of hell my life is not my own, it revolves around hormones. I hate my life right now and the menopause is making my mental health issues worse. I can't cope any longer by myself. I can't keep going to the doctor as they will not do anything; I would so love to go on HRT tablets. I really need help and support. When I get a hot flush, I feel rage /anger also I feel suicidal… my doctor knows this but just put it down to my anxiety and depression, but I know it's not… well not all of it anyway. Every time I go out, I have to redo my hair and change all the time because of the sweats; night times are horrible I wake up soaking. I have no one to turn to, there is no help and support where I live in i.e. south molten. I've been desperate for a long time for help I feel as if I'm a prisoner in my own body I just suffer in silence This is my story.”

“My horrific menopause story (and my family…)
Peri-menopause to PRISON for almost 3 years sentence at age 51!! Mental breakdown due to menopause, no help only locked up in prison. The darkest most terrifying time of my life. Let down completely by my GP’s, NHS, UK justice system, myself and my family suffered immensely. No other woman should suffer my long story …. You would be so shocked at my whole story. I am scared to share my story but I want to help raise awareness and help other women. I need to share this with Parliament for so many reasons.”

“Hi everyone, I would like to share my story. I am devastated as I had no choice but to leave my cabin crew job that I loved as I just couldn’t cope with working the hours full time. My anxiety levels were going through the roof and not being able to sleep with an already mixed sleep pattern was horrendous and my confidence was starting to disappear. I would finish one block of shifts and be starting the next just as I started to recover. It all started when I was unable to get the HRT due to the shortage. The airline I worked for didn’t have any support in place, I felt alone and like I was a nuisance every time I said to my line manager I couldn’t cope. They put me in touch a Human Resources team and the aviation doctor said my hours should be reduced. It took so long for anyone to make a decision that I just couldn’t cope. I have since found out since just 2 weeks after my leaving they are bringing in a menopause policy!
Feel so sad and let down. I’m now 3 months back on the HRT and starting to feel better but the airline will not let me return. It’s so sad. If the HRT had been available this would never have happened. As for the airline, they certainly didn’t ‘cross the t, dot the I and put the u in the middle’!”

“I am 44 still having regular cycles, not in a relationship, experiencing perimenopausal symptoms such as brain fog, memory problems, frequent UTI infections, headaches, mood changes and disrupted sleep. One nurse says I am perimenopausal, another nurse my UTI's are not caused by hormones but other things. I've having a mammogram for lumpy breast tissue which may be normal. I will be taking HRT eventually. I know I'm peri-menopausal but I get different opinions. I am single fit have a high fibre high protein diet and swim 3 times a week. I've never had children, so I've started perimenopause early.”

“At 42 I had a hysterectomy with everything out, large fibroids removed and extensive stage 4 endometriosis excised at the same time. No one warned me that surgical menopause would be brutal. I only knew that I would be given HRT from 4 weeks post-surgery. I had had 3 years of medically induced menopause (and managed that with tibolone HRT, it wasn’t pleasant but I managed) so I thought all would be ok. It hit me hard. 3 weeks post op I felt as though all of the joy had been sucked out of my life overnight. I didn’t care, about anything. I couldn’t imagine ever feeling better. My GP hadn’t been very clued up on HRT and I felt lost. I heard about a menopause plan with BUPA and though I couldn’t really afford it I thought it worth a shot. The menopause specialist (that was also an NHS GP) I spoke with for 45 minutes was knowledgeable, understanding and had time to listen and help me to understand what was happening to me. She prescribed an oestrogen spray and progesterone pill to take daily to give me the ability to increase the dose every 4 weeks for 3 months as necessary and said we’d discuss testosterone and my general well-being in 3 months. There’s a phone line that I can ring 24/7 to speak to their menopause team and just knowing help is at hand is enormously reassuring. Surgical menopause is BRUTAL and someone should have talked me through this stuff before my operation, and talked me through things afterwards. I was NOT ok. Despite reading up as much as I could on menopause very few books covered surgical menopause in any detail. That needs to change. Women having hysterectomies which include the removal of ovaries need to be supported and heard. Things have to change. It’s hard dealing with everything that goes with having a hysterectomy, but the shock of being plunged into surgical menopause without anyone to turn to felt utterly overwhelming. I believe women are being failed by not being given the support they need when they are recovering from major surgery and failed again by not being told what will happen and by not being given a plan. There is no menopause specialist at my doctor’s surgery and I was told there would be a very long wait to be referred to a menopause specialist. I waited for my hysterectomy for 3 years and 9 months, couldn’t someone have arranged a meeting with a menopause specialist for me at some point before my operation? I have never gone private before, and it really upsets me to know that there may be lots of women who feel as desperate as I did, who don’t know about things like the Bupa menopause plan or who can’t afford it. They are being failed.”

“Hi, I have a very positive story about my menopause. It has been a time of reinvention. I changed careers in my late 50s. I went from being a stay-at-home mom of 4 children to empty nester to yoga teacher to, now at the age of 60, Head of Yoga for an online wellness platform for women over 40. I am helping other women through their menopause journey- something I did not have.
For me, the menopause was a launchpad onto a new career, to meeting new people and to doing fun things. I wish this for all menopausal women.”

“Hi I am 47 and had oestrogen fed breast cancer two years ago. I am starting with perimenopausal symptoms and no doctor seems to know how to help as I can't have oestrogen. I feel as though I hit a brick wall at every turn and that I must be the only woman out there that has had breast cancer pre menopause?!? Being told I can use lubrication and if necessary, antidepressants, I don't have either of those debilitating symptoms yet, so not much use. I have always, and still do prefer to find a natural option to heal myself, but I can't use herbal options either, because of the high risks of breast cancer. My mum has Alzheimer's so I'm also trying to dodge that as much as poss. Feels as if I'm going to a miserable mess in the corner with nothing I can do to help myself. Please can you help me?!?”

“I went to my doctor on and off for 5 years about a number of different symptoms. Weight gain, anxiety, aching joints etc. for the first 2.5 years the only advice I consistently received was to reduce my stress levels at work and lose weight! Anxiety reached an all-time high in Feb 19 and I broke down at home then at the doctors. I was put on Sertraline with no follow up consultations at any point. It was only after Davina’s show that I demanded I was put on HRT - I sent an email to my doctor instead of going to see them (I had been requesting HRT for some time but they refused because of the breast cancer risks!) Eventually I was put on Everil patches. It was life changing and after another 3 months I also came off the anti/depressants. The support and understanding from my GP practice was absolutely non-existent. I shared my story on Facebook after Davina’s first show and the number of comments and DMs I received from female friends experiencing the same was desperately sad...”

“Been in the menopause since 31 years of age following full hysterectomy. I finally braved it and asked for help at my GP and he referred me to a Gynae specialist. My referral appointment came through the post last week and my appointment is MARCH 2024!!!”

“My symptoms started 8 yrs ago. Night sweats , mood swings, panic attacks. My family has suffered through so much. Things got much worse two years ago and I became agoraphobic and suicidal. I’ve been asking for HRT from the GP for these last eight years . At 48 they are finally taking me seriously but only after they have done various tests, I’m still waiting. Now I have the added joy of my bones and joints aching. Why should women have to suffer like this?”

“I am falling apart somehow. Without HRT I feel dead inside. But the progesterone part affects my mental health in a scary way. For the first time in my life, I became suicidal. I felt there was no longer any point to me. My GP is great, but it's so hard to get an appointment and even then, it's a phone call. I just feel abandoned and let down by the NHS for the first time in my life. Why have women been so ignored? Why is it so hard? Why can't I get testosterone on the NHS?? My friend gave me some of hers and it has made such a difference, but it's not available through the NHS. I quietly struggle on. I do my yoga, my breathwork, my meditation. I've lost an essential part of myself. I don't know if or when I will get it back. I wish there was more time, more research, more support, more care. I love this group and have found so much solace in it. Women united will never fail. I just wonder if the solution will come soon enough for me.”

“I entered surgical Menopause in 2017 at the age of 34 after having a full hysterectomy due to carrying the faulty BRCA1 gene. My menopause has been so difficult-not only have I lost my womanly organs, I’ve lost the ability to have any more children, but I’ve also lost who I was. I don’t recognise myself anymore. The hot sweats, insomnia, food intolerances, severe bloating, muscle and joint pain, migraines and anxiety (to mention a few) are only one part of it. Menopause has made me question everything- can I do my job anymore? Can I be the best mum I possibly can to my daughter? Will I ever feel like me again?

Since 2017 I have struggled to find the right HRT for me- the patches fell off and I was allergic to them, the tablets were so hard to remember to take due to the brain fog and cognitive issues, so after two years of fighting to get it, I was started on the HRT pellet/implant. It has helped. The symptoms have reduced. Mentally I’m still struggling, but hopefully that too will start to get better.

We need more education and awareness about menopause- it affects not only those going through it, but those around them too- family, friends, co-workers. We should all know how it can impact a person’s life.”

“Hi, I live in Brazil and I just watched the documentary talking about menopause and its symptoms. 10 years ago I had a tumor in my ovaries and had to have an operation to remove them and so I entered early menopause, since then my life has become hell, I even tried take hormone replacement, but because of the tumor it was not well received by my body, generating other diseases and by recommendation I ended up suspending the replacement. I've tried to change my diet, do exercises, but nothing helped me, it only gets worse and with that honestly my life is just one hell after another. I haven't slept well in years, I live with heat, body weakness, I have developed bone and joint problems, I honestly live in depression and I have a constant thought of ending my life, I know you are in England, but if can you help me in any way...thanks..”

“I'm 44 and have been perimenopausal for 7 years. Despite the risks of early menopause, it's taken me till this year to get a GP to stop saying it's in my imagination, and to prescribe HRT. Even now, I'm living under threat of it being taken away because of the NICE mantra of "as low a dose as possible for the least amount of time".

I've gained 2 stone in the 4mths I've been on it despite changing nothing about how I move and eat. Part of me is resigning myself to going back to the hormonal, irrational, desperate person I was and just giving up my job because I just honestly can't be bothered to fight to be "normal" anymore.”

“Did an e-consult because despite 75 micrograms, symptoms are creeping back. I’m achey, short tempered, hot flushes to the point of permanent wet pants and bra.

I specifically asked to speak to the MP specialist, I got a general GP who didn’t know me and asked when I had my last period. She knew the consult was about MP and hormones but failed to know that I had a hysterectomy 5 years ago! She told me if she increased the Estrodot that it would be the maximum dose possible then proceeded to tell me that if I was on HRT for a long time, I was at greater risk of breast cancer and blood clots. I challenged her with the information I’ve collected, which she defended with that old fashioned almost ‘rumoured’ responses. I asked if she expected me accept the status quo and end up as a mess on the floor in order to negate the incredibly small risk of cancer and blood clots?

In my humble and menopausal opinion, docs are right to inform us about the risks but they should give both side of the scales. The risk of those serious diseases is infinitesimal compared to the wreck I was a year ago. I had suicidal thoughts, anxiety, hot sweats, joint pain, insomnia, headache and migraines and I was a total cow to live with. Estrogen and progesterone have changed and possibly saved my life.”

“Was struggling badly with insomnia, night sweats, anxiety, depression, brain fog, back pain, sore joints, muscle aches, tinnitus, tingling feet, palpitations, body odour... contacted the gp surgery who outsourced a call with a consultant gp because they were short staffed. She was brilliant. Prescribed me oestrogel and handed me back to the gp. A few weeks later the anxiety, depression and insomnia got much worse and my regular gp doubled the dose and gave me sertraline and mirtazapine because she was at a loss as to what to do. She was horribly unsympathetic. I knew it wasn't classic depression and refused to take the meds. After two months, I quit the gel and self-referred to acupuncture and a private menopause clinic. The meno doctor said I wasn't absorbing the gel, put me on estraderm patches which improved things slightly but they kept falling off. Now on estradot patches and pretty much all my symptoms have improved. GPs need proper training. My gp was waaay put of her depth when things didn't go in text book fashion. Please make menopause a standard part of training for ALL doctors and medical departments. Menopause affects all of the body, not just gynaecology, so treating the symptoms individually doesn't help. Psychiatry also need to know. Holistic medicine is an absolute necessity. Thank you.”

“I received my BRCA1 pathogenic results in 2019, and had a total hysterectomy and bilateral mastectomy in 2020 at the age of 37 years. My only child was just 2 years old. I believed I was doing something for my health that would have no side effects. It was only after my surgeries that I came to understand the complications of surgical menopause. I had suffered Postpartum Depression and so requested HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) in hopes of avoiding the mood swings I'd had. I was given the minimum dose, which failed to relieve my almost immediate symptoms of night sweats, hot flashes, brain fog, migraines, vertigo, and mood swings. I requested a higher dosage and was given 1.25mg of Premarin. This alleviated the worst of what I was feeling and allowed me to feel like myself, especially in mood, which was critical to me in being present and supportive for my husband and daughter. Shortly after, Covid occured, and my family and I had to move countries. I was left without medication while between medical systems and plunged into vertigo that left me in bed for days. No one seemed to understand the urgency with which I was seeking HRT. I was given basic HRT yet again and have had to fight and advocate constantly for facetime with a doctor who understood the necessity of HRT, especially for someone of my age and circumstance. I now understand surgical menopause has and will have a great many effects on my long term health. I need to take supplements, and I need to manage the rest of my health closely to avoid complications like dementia, alzheimer's, bone density loss, and heart conditions among others. Instead of achieving better health, I traded a risk of cancer for early menopause and the multitude of effects it has on the quality of a woman's life. I feel like women have been failed in what should be a basic health right. I feel like education in our younger years and especially before surgical menopause is 100% lacking. I feel like menopause is too easily dismissed as inconsequential to women's long term health. I hope that by the time my daughter is a young women, menopause is openly talked about, and HRT is a right for every woman as part of basic health management no matter her age. We can only achieve that with working together and all advocating for women's health.”

“After visiting two GP’s who couldn’t decide if I had arthritis or bursitis in both hips, it was agreed I’d try steroid injections in my hips to see if it helped. It didn’t. (Shock!) after some personal investigation I asked my GP if I could try HRT, within 3 weeks the pain was gone! That and many other symptoms I hadn’t even recognised as menopausal. That was two years ago and I’ve never looked back!”

“The menopause came like a bolt out of the blue. Aged 46 menustration just stopped abruptly. A downward spiral began of depression, irritability and suicidal ideation. Tried to read and develop knowledge of natural alternatives. Trying many to no avail. Came across a natural product and various teas and suppliments. The menopause is not spoken about enough and women very often suffer in silence. I have coped through the worst of emotions but thankfully I have managed to work through this transitional change.”

“I would like to put it out there that I suffered sweats, terrible mood swings, and all other symptoms you can think off and with a few remedies from a homeopath and no alchohol my symptoms went away.. My energy came back and so did my brain power. Please consider this as an option. It may take a couple of visits but its better than anything else and worth a try for anyone with an open mind.”

“My pharmacy sat on my script while I had covid (10 full days) then told me couldn’t get 75mg Estrodot patches and had to go back to GP. I suggested 50/100mg and I’d use scissors…..that’s not allowed. Problem was I needed the other 2 items urgently, so don’t have the Estrodot or a script for it. I went on holiday that day worrying what I was going to do about it. Another 10 days later receptionist at my doctors told me I’d have to be prescribed something else. I said I’d rather find some Estrodot as I feel human for the first time in years. She pulled a face but said she’d message the duty doctor to see if he’d put a new script on ‘The Spine’, which was against policy. How will I know if he agrees, I asked. You won’t hear from us she said 🤦🏻 So I’m off for a drive round the county today, in the hope a script is on ‘The Spine’. Thank god for the original diagnosing GP, when she increased my dose, she suggested keeping the unopened box of 5Omg, in case there was ever a shortage, Just as we were going to sleep last night, my lovely understand and supportive husband suggested I go first to the private hospital that I use to get my progesterone……and just pay for it! It’s a great idea but it shouldn’t be necessary. I’ve had poor mental health and our sex life has always been part of my good mental health and stability. When my libido fell off a cliff, it was devastating and the final straw after being diagnosed with mild ptsd. I considered suicide. Progesterone literally saved my life. I gave up work to look after my Dad when my Mum died earlier this year, so I’m not financially dependent at the moment but we are lucky enough to be able to afford the private appointments and scripts. My gynaecologist (of 15 years) sees mostly menopause related patients these days, sometimes whole clinics are taken up with women whose GP’s won’t or can’t prescribe hormones. We must come together to resolve this treatment and inequality. I have time to help if you need foot soldiers in your campaign. Thank you for all your work”

“Four years ago, aged 49, I was on a business trip in Berlin, where I thought the heating in the hotel was stuck on high as I was literally drenched with sweat after a long hot and sticky night. It was minus 5 outside. After asking all my colleagues if they found if hot, they just laughed. On that same trip, I asked the international travellers if they had any melatonin as I was suddenly finding I couldn’t sleep. Years prior to this, I had been backwards and forwards to my GP with anxiety and depression symptoms, increasing migraine attacks and joint stiffness. I ended up being prescribed antidepressants, beta blockers and diazepam along with referrals to the ENT specialist for the migraines and a physiotherapist for the joint pain. The heart palpitations, itchy skin and low libido were pretty much ignored by my GP. Following the Berlin trip, I came home and realising the night sweats had become a regular thing, it suddenly dawned on me that I was menopausal. How stupid had I been that at 49 and with a myriad of symptoms, some of which I’d been coping with for around 5 years, had I not realised I was perimenopausal. I’d never even heard the word peri menopause until I googled it. And so off I trotted to my GP who basically said ‘bingo, hot flushes means you’re in the menopause!’ and I was sent away with the advice that I should do my own research on HRT and come back in 3 months time if I was still struggling. Very quickly I began researching and found the social media pages of the UK’s leading menopause specialist and realised I’d been fobbed off by my GP. Armed with the evidence I returned to my GP who did much eye rolling because she’s the doctor right and not me?! So, I began my HRT journey with a low dose oestrogen patch and within a week the night sweats stopped. The story doesn’t end there but that would take too long to write but in brief, I eventually paid to see the menopause specialist I followed on Instagram and was listened to and properly heard for the first time. Four years on from that work trip and I’m on a high dose of oestrogen, along with testosterone and vaginal oestrogen. The antidepressants are long gone and I manage to work full time (a five day week crammed into 4 days), look after my granddaughters one day a week to help with childcare costs, care for my youngest daughter who still lives at home, care for my elderly mum who lives close by and I do this alone as my partner walked out on me during my perimenopausal hell. Am I happy? Yes, happier than I’ve been in a very long but sad that I had to suffer for so long and that women are still suffering and being either ignored or misdiagnosed.”

“6 months ago, I finally received a diagnosis for the increasing number of debilitating symptoms I have been suffering with for years. For the past 5 years I've been back and forth to the GP starting with me feeling depressed. I sat and cried to the GP telling her 'I'm not me anymore' and 'I don't know what's happening to me'. I was prescribed antidepressants and sent on my way. Within the next few months, I was driving along and fantasising about driving off the side of the mountain. I went back to the GP and she increased the dose of my antidepressants. I asked if it could be my hormones. Maybe menopause? She asked if I was still having periods and I told her I have the mirena coil so don't have periods. She said I was too young for the menopause (I was just coming up to 41) so I believed her.

I started getting hot flushes but put this down to a side effect of my antidepressants so I reduced them back down. This didn't stop the flushes and my suicidal thoughts were getting worse. I then went back to the surgery and saw a different GP because I was having panic attacks. They came from nowhere. The final straw was when I had a massive panic attack in my car just because I was going to the hairdresser's. I literally couldn't do it.

The GP prescribed me diazepam which I initially refused as I know they're very addictive. He reassured me I would be fine. During this time, I decided to leave my partner of 7 years. I didn't even know why. I still loved him but my head was out of control and I just wanted to run away. I just spiralled further into depression. We did get back together but it was just one thing after another. Now I had this bad pain in my hip and lower back, I was waking up in a pool of sweat (which I still thought was a side effect from my antidepressants), I was dripping in sweat during the daytime even when I was outside in the middle of winter. I went back to the GP and again asked if I could be going through menopause. They took my blood but when I called for the results they came back 'normal'. I was also given prescription painkillers for my hip which had in large print that they were highly addictive.

Last year was a massive turning point. I found myself researching symptoms of dementia and Alzheimer's. I was literally terrified and convinced myself I had early onset dementia or Alzheimer's because my memory had been getting worse by the week. I couldn't focus on anything. I couldn't even read a book because I kept having to read the same page over and over but it just wasn't registering. My work was suffering and I would sit looking at a screen wondering what I was supposed to be doing. I ended up going off sick for 2 months and was seriously considering giving up a job I loved because I just felt completely useless. I was supposed to be supporting people with mental health issues. How could I support people when I can't even remember their names half the time? Then one day I was pulling onto a big roundabout and literally had a complete brain fog and didn't know what I was doing. I couldn't remember the rules of the road for a minute (seconds really). It was the most frightening experience as I could have killed someone or myself. I'd been researching menopause and after this I made an urgent appointment at my go surgery and I diagnosed myself. Yes, I diagnosed myself. I explained to the GP all my symptoms and she agreed I may be right and asked what I would like to do about it. No advice at all. I asked about HRT and she told me to go away and think about it first and make an appointment for the following week to discuss it. I had been speaking to a colleague in work who was going through the same and just talking to her made my mind up that what I was going through was not just me going mad, I felt validated.

The following I week I started on HRT and over the next month I began to feel better than I had in 5 years. It was then that I put all the pieces together, joined the dots and realised that the past 5 years was due to perimenopause and could have been treated with HRT instead of multiple antidepressants, anxiety pills and prescription pain killers. Even the pain in my hip and back which had been getting worse and spreading throughout my body, was gradually easing and I could stop taking the painkillers. Who knew all these symptoms could be all related to the menopause? It seems the 3 different GP's I had seen numerous times over 5 years didn't know. Or did they? And if so, why did they never once consider it, mention it? It's left me so angry but also very determined to ensure that all women and girls are made aware of all the different symptoms and be brave enough to demand to be taken seriously. I honestly believe that, if I didn't have such a good support network around me, my kids may have been left without a mother.”

“Having suffered with gynae issues for years, having random peri-menopausal symptoms - although not fully recognised/confirmed, having to muddle through, many a time thinking I was losing my mind and following surgery I’ve been plunged head first into a surgical menopause. Recovery post-surgery including trying to handle the menopausal symptoms has not been easy. Recovery is taking longer which in turn has developed into a position where my job is at stake and I’m losing my job.

It’s extremely stressful and draining. You worry how you’ll pay your bills; can you afford to pay for your HRT and will you find another job and will other employers be supportive? You feel you’ve been abandoned and not supported within the workplace, that your voice is not being heard and you are being penalised for a medical condition all woman have to face.

Well, it’s time we were heard, HRT should be free everywhere in the UK, women should be understood and supported, both in our daily lives and within the workplace. Far too many women struggle and suffer in silence. We are not frail, unable to perform or achieve goals or work to great standards within the workplace, we are merely going through a natural stage in our lives that all women face.”

“Late 2014 aged 42, I started to experience debilitating depression. It came out of no-where, I couldn’t understand what was going on! I left my Husband (early 2015) of which I had been with since aged 19 years old, thinking it was the relationship and I couldn't continue on with the up and down moods of mine and nor could he, I thought something was totally missing and couldn't understand 'where I had gone'. It was like someone had totally unzipped me and I no longer felt like ‘me’ anymore. I was still having infrequent periods and at times these would be so heavy, I wouldn't want to leave the house.

I met another man (since breaking up from husband), who turned out to be a narcissist although I wasn't aware of this until it was too late. He often would ridicule me when I had a heavy bleed and said my body odour had changed; now I know this is a side effect of the menopause, yet I didn't know I was in the menopause as I had always been told, you have to have no periods for a full 12 months before I could even consider that was a thing, but you can imagine at the time I was embarrassed and felt ashamed.

Debilitating anxiety took over, lasting for many years and I started to have thoughts that' 'I WAS DONE'... I even started to plan how I was going to end it all, and would obsess over this daily (suicidal thoughts were so real yet I never spoke about these feelings with anyone). I kept myself isolated and masked my feelings and emotions for fear of embarrassment, lack of understanding and also, I didn’t want anyone to know about my thoughts, as family and friends would talk me out of it and I would still be left with an emptiness of having to live. It was strange because whenever I thought about leaving this world, I had this calm feeling about knowing that I wouldn't have to carry these feelings around with me anymore. I remember contacting my GP at the time and he immediately asked me to go and see him. When I spoke about my symptoms and thoughts, he referred me to a Mental Health facility to have an assessment with a member of the crisis team. I can’t say it was a pleasurable experience, I was subject to an intense 4 hours interview which focused on my mental health and afterwards it was agreed I could go home, as the assessment confirmed I wasn't a danger to myself. Maybe I masked my feelings well, yet I wasn't asked about anything else. I am grateful to my GP at the time, as he recognised, I did need some support, yet nothing was taken into account about the symptoms I was experiencing which mirrored peri-menopause. He said, on more than one occasion 'Michelle you are definitely not in the peri- menopause you are too young. Who was I to question a qualified doctor?

Anxiety & depression continued for a long period, I changed so much in this time, I wasn't confident, happy or at peace with myself. I kept on reverting back to some old limiting beliefs from the past that I wasn’t good enough and started to have those recurring thoughts once more that my life had come to end, and to be totally real, it nearly did! I was having hot sweats, insomnia, a roller-coaster of negative emotions which seemed to last forever. I carried on coping on my own without any intervention for many years and experienced a total loss of myself and still every day I considered how I could end my life. Now with everyone saying I couldn't be in peri-menopause, I just accepted this, although unconsciously I kept questioning myself, could this be the start of the change? Who knew, it was never talked about and seemed to be a taboo subject back in the days, also was I too young like the doctor previously had said to me?

Fast forward to 2021, the depression was killing me, I was sad, unhappy and felt that something wasn’t quite right so I contacted my GP. I woke up that morning thinking this is the day I will leave this world, yet something inside of me encouraged me to reach out again to my GP (a different practice this time), this was 8am in the morning that I wrote; 'Please can someone contact me I am extremely low and depressed, I need to speak to a doctor urgently. A male GP called me at 16.05 the same day, and upon contacting me, I explained my symptoms and asked if I could be peri-menopausal or coming into the menopause, after all I had not had a period for approx. 11 months then. The male doctor then proceeded to say, ‘don’t be silly’ you are not in the menopause you are too young (at the time I was 48 years old I wasn't 49 yet as my birthday was months away) and asked me what anti-depressants did I wish for him to prescribe. WHAT....?? I was pouring my heart out to a doctor that I no-longer felt I could live; I was experiencing symptoms that mirrored the menopause and yet was told the only solution was anti-depressants and to choose the ones that I wanted and he would prescribe them. That’s when I thought I need to take some control! I could either end my suffering or take charge; now I was really angry, so I took charge. Anger wasn't an emotion that I had been experiencing and this ignited something inside me to start to find a solution. So, I contacted a private doctor who did a full history breakdown of my symptoms, what I was experiencing and confirmed I was in the menopause and prescribed medication to help me through this stage of my life. The private doctor wrote to my GP and they took over the medication prescription of providing me with HRT. HRT and Utrogestan I was on for 10 months. Now, fast forward to the beginning of this year 2022, I started to feel extremely unwell, fatigue and confusion, dizzy spells, chest pains and difficulty breathing with an irregular heat-beat; I was worried it could be the medication. I started to check my blood pressure daily, twice in the morning and the same in the evening. Once again, I was struggling mentally, emotionally and physically, as I was finding it hard to function daily. I reached out once again to my GP and ask if it could be the menopause medication and was met with a different approach, it could be that my blood pressure average which was 160/100 maybe causing these symptoms.

After visiting the doctors in person and now on blood pressure medication, the doctor advised to come off the menopause prescription as I would be a high risk for having a stroke coupled with my family history of high blood pressure, strokes and heart-attacks, I had no choice to stop all my menopause medication. Frightened and confused as I wasn't prepared to go back to the debilitating symptoms that had led me to consider ending my life. What was I to do? I could either accept there was nothing I could do, or find a way to manage my menopausal symptoms without the medication. So, I did!!!

Today, my message is clear ‘you’ the strong women can manage your symptoms with or without medication as I have done, incorporating holistic healing and complementary therapies such as breath-work, hypnosis, meditation, yoga and much more. Many women (like myself) still need solutions day-to-day to help them overcome some of the debilitating symptoms that stops them from living life to the fullest. Because it all begins with YOU. ‘You’ to make a conscious decision to shape a healthy lifestyle and to look and feel your personal best. No-one knows you the best and you would never dismiss ways to solve your own problems, to stand in your personal power and be open to the limitless wellbeing potential you have when you are in charge. There is an empowerment among women reaching this phase of their lives, as so many women now are talking and educating others about the menopause, yet I still read and also experience the suffering of women. Many women know adopting a one size fits all, trial and error approach is outrageous, when we are talking about your life and body. So how do you take back your personal power, (like I did) take charge of and manage your own unique symptoms, if you don’t know how to with or without medication? I have made a conscious effort this year to educate myself and other women in mindful menopause techniques using holistic healing and complementary therapies such as self-Hypnosis, breath-work, meditation and the use of crystals specifically to help with the varying symptoms of the menopause. Now, I know that some of these may not appeal to all women, and that’s OK, all I know is that they have helped me in ways that have allowed me to manage my symptoms and I truly feel the best I have been since I have been working with these approaches. I wake up each day NOW, knowing that I can take charge of my symptoms and that makes me feel empowered, I am not saying that there aren't days NOW where I feel low, sad and tired, of course, we are women, who take care of everyone else before we care for ourselves, right? Yet, I am in a better place knowing that I have the ability to manage my own mental, emotional and physically symptoms through different holistic solutions and complementary approaches, which then becomes individualised to me rather than relying on the 'one-size fits all approach, that so many women often speak out and one that I have experienced too. I am so pleased to be here sharing my story, as I nearly wasn't! I AM Michelle a Midlife Menopausal women and I AM determined to make the change, to a better menopause - I AM worth it, and so ARE YOU!”

“I worked full time as a receptionist whilst suffering menopause symptoms, hot night sweats, waking at 2.30 and 5.30 then up at 6 to go to work and return at 6pm. Daily anxiety, not able to get my sentences out, brain fog, low (non-existent) libido. Felt I was going mad until prescribed HRT. Overnight transformation, back to feeling ME again. However, cannot cope with full time work. Need time for me and self-care so handed in my notice. Lucky to be able to exist financially for the moment. I am concentrating on looking after myself and trying to lose the weight gained by being unhappy in my skin. Relieved to know weight gain is common with the menopause as I have piled it on around my tum.

Saw Lisa Snowdon on This Morning about a year ago and every word she said and how she felt I identified with. It was a great relief and comfort to know I wasn't on my own with these new body experiences all caused by the menopause. I feel heard now and I am not alone in my symptoms. I wish the menopause could be seen as a medical issue resulting in women like myself having to stop work. I wish there was financial support for those of us who have not got the motivation or energy to work. This is how debilitating the menopause can affect certain women such as myself. Thank you for highlighting the life changing experience of countless women. I hope parliament enables us to have free prescriptions as it is an expensive illness to treat/manage.”

“Where to begin. Almost 4 years ago I was taken off the combined pill at 56. Within weeks symptoms started, insomnia, low mood, hair coming out. Things escalated quickly and I made several visits to the GP asking for HRT as I knew after 40 odd years on the pill, I needed my hormones back. I was given sleeping pills and antidepressants, several types as nothing helped. Between October 2018 and end of Jan 2019 I lost over 3 stones in weight, so weak I couldn't walk, so I made 4 visits to A+E, saw a private neurologist as I was convinced, I had dementia or cancer.

Eventually end of Jan I couldn't sleep, eat or drink. Started hallucinations with all medication and no food. I attempted to end my life taking every sleeping pill, antidepressants, diazapam paracetamol I had. Broke my heart crying when I was woken up 10 hours later in hospital.

Was then put in a psychiatric hospital for four months which was worse than any horror film I've seen. Begged again for HRT. Even more medication. Made another 2 attempts to end my life that year. Took me another two years of fighting to obtain HRT last June and it was by chance as a new locum started at the surgery. He was a young man who had done training in menopause. He prescribed it and I've not looked back since. Nightmare is still not over though. Still on a lot of antidepressants. Don’t know if I'll ever get off them. Now have chronic constipation due to all the meds. Lost a job I loved. Suffered anxiety panic attacks, relationship with family and friends suffer to this day. To top it all I complained to Ombudsman. Received a call yesterday to say they won't investigate it as based on response from practice manager where little of this was mentioned. I said they didn't follow guidelines. She said they are only guidelines. I've now gone to the last stage asking for a review of her decision. I know I'll get nowhere. She said their response was reasonable and sympathised with me. I have to do it then I know I've done everything possible. All I asked for was that lessons were learned but if she thinks my treatment was reasonable then women will be treated exactly the same. I wish someone could help guide me, let my story be heard. I don’t want this for my daughter's and granddaughters. Thank you, ladies, for everything you do. I wish three years ago I said I had hot flushes as I've had three years of living hell.”

“I have always achieved in my career and was in my assessment quite successful in my 40's working in Human Resources, leading a service in a large organisation. This was rare as a black woman at that time in the 90's. After a period of time, I found the workplace very stressful and it started to affect my physical health. So, I subsequently moved to a less demanding role in my 50's. I worked with another woman who was also in her 50's. We were vocal women and our voices (opinions, suggestions) were not welcomed. In addition, 2 of our male colleagues (one was the line manager) negatively targeted us for attention.

One evening leaving work I was approached by one of the men - I lost my temper and Ioudly told him to leave me alone! He later took out a grievance complaint against me. It was humiliating to be in such a situation at this age and stage in my career. I had never throughout my whole working life been in such a situation. I defended the complaint made against me. But ended up with a warning being placed on my work record for my outburst. In hindsight I now recognise that I was experiencing mood swings from going through the menopause. I did not identify the menopause as part of my response to the complaint against me. I experienced the HR Director (a much younger woman) who chaired the grievance complaint as having a pre- determined decision to give me a warning and had little awareness of the underlying issues - an older black woman, with a long unblemished work record - going through the menopause, being targeted and scapegoated by two men in the organisation.

I eventually chose to leave the organisation at the conclusion of the grievance complaint. I felt I held onto my dignity by making that choice. And I still now feel annoyed that that was the only option I felt I had due to the lack of support / knowledge about the menopause, other issues from within the organisation. Thank you for raising the profile of the menopause in women’s lives and in the workplace. At last, I feel that raising awareness of the menopause and its many symptoms will hopefully avoid other women going through a similar experience.”

“I started having symptoms in my early 40’s mostly hot flushes at first, and then some dizziness and tiredness/lethargy creeping in. I had been reading up on perimenopause and menopause to get an idea of what would be some of the symptoms and thought this was what I was starting with. Little did I know that it was going to get a lot worse. At 47 I had been experiencing sheer exhaustion so much that just walking up the stairs was an effort and I had to sit down for a bit to recover, this was a type of tiredness that I’d never experienced before and not like any tiredness I would have from exercising which was more exhilarating. A colleague in work had mentioned that they had been the same and was having HRT, it made me think and I thought I’d give it a go. Initially it helped and for a couple of years I felt ok. Until later in 2019 and I noticed other things start to happen, memory loss, brain fog, stringing a sentence together ant not making sense, feeling like my brain was slowing down. This went on for a while and got worse with anxiety coming to the fore and talking over. I was failing quality audits in work, the pressure kept on and in September 2020 I had a break down, I had no idea that there were options to change HRT or try different doses, which I know now with all the information that’s being put out and is greatly helpful. I’ve changed HRT this year but it’s still a process getting it right. I started on Oestrogel but had to change due to the stock issues with it. I have had to recently step down from my role in work as well as I’m still not able to perform at the level needed, I’ve worked in the NHS for 30 years. So the balance continues and I try to keep my chin up and work through this.”

“I listen avidly to stories of the menopause. I do not fit in to any group. I am 75 and have been on HRT for over 20 years. I had a wonderful GP when I lived in Surrey. Moving to the East, in the last eight years I have had such a battle trying to obtain my HRT. The GP I have now, knows little about menopause or HRT, even though she is listed as the GP for women’s issues. Because of the never-ending battle every 3 months to obtain my HRT, when the surgery pharmacy sent me the wrong patches, I used them. These caused a bleed. When I telephoned to complain, the GP insisted I had a hospital appointment, for a scan. I had a biopsy, a most ghastly experience in the hospital day unit. I was then sent a letter saying I had pre-Cancer cells, this was such a shock, a week later I was sent another letter saying I did not have cancer. So, it goes on. To avoid any contact with any of these clinical people I tried for 9 months to survive without HRT. By the end of this time, I was suicidal, I was frightened I would actually take my life, I had plans in place. I then wrote to the GP saying I wanted to continue with HRT. I had to see a gynaecologist privately, he wrote to my GP. I feel completely abandoned by the NHS. I am back on HRT feeling much better. I feel exhausted just writing this, the anger is all consuming.”

“I will keep this very short - Nobody will tell you to check your ferritin levels when you reach a certain age. There will be no letters from the NHS saying please come in for a blood test to ensure you don't get problems during menopause. Nobody will tell you what your ferritin levels *should* be. After hours of searching on the internet I now know what I wish I knew before. The NHS thinks a level of 30 ug/L is ok That’s’ why I lost half my hair - and the GP said go find a trichologist. He still didn't tell me what my ferritin levels should be. So please - educate daughters, everybody - you need to prepare your body *beforehand*.”

“After receiving treatment in 2010 for Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma I resumed to my cycle in 2012 but in 2019 I crumbled. I suddenly began experiencing anxiety attacks that would stop me from getting to work. Weight gain to over 100kgs and so exhausted alongside severe hot sweats and insomnia.

My Dr made me fill out a quiz and diagnosed with Indigenous depression. Despite my questions about my treatment it is was brushed off. After struggling for nearly 6 months, I started to google about premature menopause after RCHOP chemotherapy and immediately knew this was hormonal. I fought for weeks and finally got an alternative Dr to test my FSH levels.

It's been a journey trialling numerous HRT combinations, and I can only thank my specialist Nurse for keeping me stable and present.”

“My story is not about me, it’s about the women I work with. I work as a relationship counsellor for Adults with Learning disabilities! Some of the women I work with tell me how they are feeling, which is clearly related to the menopause! However, they don’t seem to know or understand what is going on. Their support staff will say they are being difficult or have challenging behaviour! Sad to hear that, when clearly that’s not the case.”

“Hi everyone, I am now 49yrs old, I suffer with chronic migraine and have done since I was 20. What I now recognise as peri-menopause symptoms started around 43, I literally could not keep warm, I went to my Drs as I was feeling very tired all the time. They did a blood test and found that my Iron level was through the floor, I was given tablets to try and increase it but it didn't work, a couple of years passed with many many blood tests that then showed Zinc deficiency, Iron deficiency anaemia, Vitamin D deficiency. My GPs were totally baffled by what was causing any of these.

I had every test under the sun, x3 Endoscopy and colonoscopy, several specialists one of who diagnosed Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, I really knew this wasn't what was wrong with me but the GP and I (my GPs practice are fabulous) didn't know what was wrong, we came to the conclusion that I had an auto immune problem.

After all those tests I eventually got Iron infusions which helped a little but not really the change you would have hoped. This takes me to being 45/46 at this point I went through a very upsetting breakup and was crying all the time, I just couldn't stop crying it was really unlike me, the previous 12 months I had days where I just felt so down for no apparent reason. I suffer from Migraine and therefore get migraine hangover also PMT is relevant. I carried on with no idea what was going on at that time (if only I had known that it was peri-menopause then next three years my migraine just got worse and worse, one would end and I was recovering and another would start! I got to the point where they were every 5-7days, as you can imagine my brain fog was constant along with suffering with cognition issues (both of these things happen with Migraine) I worked for myself, I had done for years and this is quite fortunate for me that I was. I have no idea if I could have coped with how ill I was and still worked.

Other symptoms were anxiety (I have never been overly anxious, driving anxiety (I love driving and have gone all over the country most of my life), and a lot of weight gain. When I was 43 I started to exercise more and more but by the time I got to 47 I couldn’t do it anymore I literally had no energy or motivation, so I piled on 4 stone, increased urination, cold all the time, low mood, sadness. In the last 3 yrs we sadly had a global pandemic that stopped everything but not my peri- menopause symptoms and Migraines.

I have worked from home for years so that didn’t change but my Migraine just got worse and worse, I decided to speak to my GP about this and we tried preventative medicine, sadly this didn’t work and gave me another problem to deal with (stomach pain) so we reverted back to Rizatriptan and paracetamol. The last 12 months 2021/2022 some of the early symptoms are less but I have new ones like thinning hair, hair growth on my chin, my periods have gone to every 3 weeks, aches, fatigue, low motivation, I started to do a lot of research online about trying to control my migraine and peri-menopause came up as a factor, I did some research on that and started listening to the “Headsup” podcast (which is amazing) I did more and more research and started to understand that HRT would 100% help with a lot of things, so I contacted my GP and got what I needed. Estrogen and Progesterone separate not combined as that is contra indicated for Migraine, I am on the waiting list for a referral to get Testosterone, in this time both of Davina McCall’s C4 programmes came out which again was really really helpful, I have only just started the HRT and I am hoping to get my energy back then I can exercise more and feel better. Sadly, not once was Peri-menopause even on anyone’s mind, given the I have seen several specialists, my GP board met to discuss what was wrong, there really does need to be more education and understanding, this is terrible for women to go through. I hope this helps someone suffering to recognise and get the help they need. It’s worth noting, I am 100% teetotal (I always have been) I don’t drink tea or coffee, I don’t take drugs, I have never smoked so none of these are factors that can make symptoms worse for both Migraine and Peri-menopause.”

“I'm 54. I sobbed to my doctor 6 years ago that I couldn't cope and she offered me antidepressants. I said I wasn't depressed I was menopausal. At the time she wouldn't prescribe HRT because I have a history of migraine with aura which is linked to strokes. I have coped for 6 years with exhaustion, 20+ intense hot flushes a day, a heart attack, brain fog and sleep problems - all while running my own business. I watched Davina's programme and went back to the GP. She said I could now have HRT as it was safer. Why had nobody told me? I now have no hot flushes and feel fantastic. I'm ready to live my life instead of dragging myself through each day.”

“I am 65. Regular periods stopped around 50. I was under a lot of stress around that time but didn't put my symptoms down to menopause. Age 55 I experienced some bleeding again and after a biopsy on a polyp that was removed, it confirmed I had womb cancer. Fortunately for me I was in for a total hysterectomy within 2 weeks and no further treatment as it was stage 1 cancer.

I asked the consultant after my operation if I would need to now start on HRT and was told no, just take vitamin E. How I wish there had been more information about the long-term effects. The last 5 years I have been suffering with so many aches and pains, low mood, lethargic, anxiety, bladder problems, disturbed sleep. I was putting all this down to my age but after reading more from so many lovely ladies who are making their voices heard I finally spoke to my GP and was started on HRT last year.

I feel so angry that I had been left with such bad advice after my hysterectomy and hope it is not too late to regain more of who I once was!

Thank you to all those wonderful women standing up and making a difference for us all.”

“Urine infections- increased year on year until I had 8 in 1 year and ended up having intravenous antibiotics. Saw 16 different health professionals from urologist to gynaecologists, lots of tests, hours spent in A&E due to the bleeding and no one ever mentioned it could be menopause related.

Spoke with a private Menopause Specialist nurse who advised me all I needed was Vagifem. GP prescribed it and not had 1 since. Which is great, however I am now allergic to 2 antibiotics as I was given so much of them.”

“My symptoms started around the age of 40 with an explosion of mental issues. Extreme panic, anxiety and depression so severe that at times I no longer wanted to be around. Constantly back and to at the GP, I was given beta blockers and anti-depressants which made me feel terrible, but I persevered because I was so desperate.

Prior to all this, I was at the top of my game with my career having won a National award for my work achievements. Then I became a quivering wreck, struggling to get out of bed every day, crying at the fear of how I would get through that day. Suicidal at times at the thought of this being my life now, sapped of joy, enthusiasm and motivation.

I kept telling my GP I thought it was hormonal only to be fobbed off with “you’re too young” and “HRT won’t help with things like that.”

Fast forward 10 years and after much research I decided to go private. Something I couldn’t afford really but I was desperate and determined to change things. 5 months later the improvement has been incredible. After having bloods checked, it showed extremely low oestrogen and testosterone, which are now both being replaced with HRT.

I feel so angry that I lost 13 years of my life to debilitating symptoms which could have been treated if not for the lack of knowledge of several GPs. Every practice should offer even one professional who specializes in Menopause related issues. To think that many women are suffering without the option of paying privately is disgusting! This is why we have to keep the momentum going and get ourselves heard, in the hope it will bring around a much-needed positive change.”

“My periods stopped at 48. I had 5 years of the run up to my periods stopping of UTI’s every few months, carried on with all the symptoms, just got on with thinking this has got to stop at some point. 15 months ago, I developed chronic eczema on my body and especially on my hands, it has been the most painful and debilitating condition I have ever had, from washing myself, to cooking and cleaning, I work with my hands.

I was 51 when I developed chronic eczema never suffering before, in the back of my mind I realised it's something to do with the menopause, all the skin on my hands were split, infected, swollen and bleeding you go on a continuous cycle of steroids, antibiotics, antibiotic cream and ointments and washes from the Dr’s. I reached my breaking point last month, I managed to get a face-to-face appointment with my Dr, I haven’t seen him face to face for over a year. I now know my chronic eczema is caused by lack of Estrogen and he prescribed me 3 months’ supply of HRT patches. I’ve only been wearing them a couple of weeks but my skin is starting to heal, it’s actually been life changing, the eczema was starting to affect my mood as I could see no end to it.”

“My GP would not give me a blood test or assist me in sourcing HRT (or any meno meds) so I went to Louise Newson (2018 at 47) and have been on HRT, testosterone, progesterone and a natural sleep assister (Serenity from Emma's Nutrition) since then. I now have more good than bad days thanks to someone who really listened. However, paying privately is hugely cost prohibitive. I am fortunate that I can afford it but feel the system is divisive for those who can't.”

“I had run out of HRT medication after being on it for five years. My GP's surgery was closed for staff training so I had to call 111. The operator refused to give me an emergency repeat prescription and the oncall doctor later wouldn't authorise one either. Their reaction frightened me so much I decided to stop taking it straight away. I then descended into a painful hell. When I saw my GP, some weeks later, he dismissed my concerns, prescribed me anti-anxiety medication and told me to stop ruminating. I was in so much distress but I was labelled as a "challenging patient'. I felt every subsequent doctor was influenced by this label and that prevented them doing proper investigations.
I survived the ordeal and only now, after five years, is the NHS finally listening to my concerns. I just don't want what happened to me to happen to anyone else.”

“I am 66, I would say that I have been suffering with menopausal symptoms for at least 16 years. I started having really heavy periods, and by heavy, I mean afraid to go anywhere because of ‘accidents.’ I had a d and c which helped for a while. I then found out I was severely anaemic and was on iron for a while. I was extremely moody, angry, violent, throwing things, my children tell me now that I was a different person. I eventually went to the Dr’s when my mood was so low, I didn’t want to leave the house. A nurse friend said I was probably menopausal and to go to go and ask about HRT. My daughter was due to get married and I wanted to be happy and enjoy the day.

So, when the Dr said I needed anti-depressants and not HRT I went for it. They took a while to kick in, my daughter’s wedding was a blur. The night sweats, hot flushes, palpitations, muscle aches etc were just some of the “normal “symptoms I learned to live with. Work suffered, sex life suffered, due to tiredness and low self-esteem.

These symptoms eventually passed, they have been replaced with post-menopausal symptoms, i.e. bleeding because of dryness, severe itching, and obviously still no sex life. I went back to the Dr to get advice as menopause had become a buzz word, everywhere you turned it was talked about.

So, I asked about HRT once again and was told ‘that ship has sailed.’ I came off anti-depressants off my own accord after taking them for several years. I don’t think I will feel ‘normal’ again. I also worry about the high risk of osteoporosis, heart problems and dementia. I hate complaining because I know people suffer much worse things, but I have two daughters who will go through menopause and I don’t want them to suffer as I did. Fortunately, menopause is now talked about, but too late for thousands of women who suffered in silence. I had a friend who took her own life, I am convinced she was severely affected by menopause/ depression but couldn’t talk to anyone at a time when menopause wasn’t discussed and women just ‘got on with it.’ Let’s pray this has changed for good.”

“In 1986 I had a hysterectomy aged 29. I was put on HRT a few months later as the ovary I was left with didn’t work and I had severe menopause symptoms. I never had any problems with HRT, when I reached 60 I was told by a Dr at my practice that I had to come off HRT as I was “A ticking time bomb” I asked not to be taken off HRT and the Dr said “that wasn’t a choice” . He said I will lower the dose “after all we don’t want to wipe the smile off your face in one go” I was taken off HRT 3 months later.

I suffered horribly with night sweating, hot flushes, palpitations, anxiety, low mood, joint pain in my hands and wrists and I thought I had dementia. My life was devastated so much I had to give up my job as I had no fight left in me to help all the elderly people I supported. I saw a female Dr and after having tests for Arthritis and nothing was found I again said that it was the menopause that was the problem and her answer was “I would of thought you would be over that now” and dismissed it. She said I could have antidepressants and that was it. I did not want or need them so I have carried on. I feel like an old woman, I still have sweats and flushes and pain and I haven’t slept through the night since. I feel completely devoid of any sexual feelings and my marriage has suffered. I am trying again to get some help after watching Davina McCall’s programme and finding out about your group. Thank you all for fighting for people like me and good luck Susan!”

“I was one of the unlucky one's- early perimenopause. 3 generations on mother's side of family been have hot flashes, anger, tears and anxiety since early 30's, now I’m 43.

It has taken a lot of hitting barriers as I kept telling the GP surgery it won't show on blood tests, please look at NICE guidelines (they said you’re depressed, too young) NO I am not. I was close to breaking down, the final straw came when lashed out at a loved one.

Then I was blessed to come across the lovely Louise Newson whom I explained symptoms to and was advised I was peri/meno and to keep on at GP. After 20 times, finally a lovely nurse told me the GP had someone that specialises in menopause. I had kept a list of symptoms etc...and saw this lady GP at first opportunity and finally it was like a feature firework display! Someone listened, didn't belittle me or disbelieve me and put on an HRT plan.

I could understand if the GP I saw first time was male but you would think a female GP would look deeper into it than just bloods and "you’re not old enough."

Thank you Louise Newson #menopausematters for steering me in the right direction.”

“I kept having palpitations. Not one GP or consultant added up the dots to conclude it might be related to menopause. Hot flushes are so unbearable if I don’t have access to my HRT my life is literally unbearable. 11 years on HRT. It’s a life saver.”

“Hi. I really want to tell my story. HRT was amazing for me. When I was 50 I was suffering from aching joints, headaches, insomnia, and was feeling really low the whole time. Also my husband was worried about me. I saw Mariella Frostrup’s programme about menopause and wondered whether it might be that because I knew I was definitely the right age. So, I went to see my GP and said that I thought I might be menopausal. She agreed and asked whether I’d like to start on HRT, which I wasn’t sure about because of all the breast cancer stories that you hear, but she reassured me. Within a couple of weeks, the symptoms had all gone away and I felt back to normal again.”

“10 years ago at age 40 my anti-depressants stopped working. I went to the coast for a walk with my family to try to lift my spirits; because that would always work in the past if I was feeling tired and low; but I just felt flat. I remember sitting on a bench and feeling exhausted and telling my family I would wait for them as they wanted to walk further; and I felt sadness and panic that my tablets and fresh air that had always helped me; weren’t working for my depression.

Later on in the summer we went to France and I kept feeling like the usual joy I felt on my holidays was lower than normal. I kept thinking that the country wasn’t as hot as our last holiday abroad; or my second glass of lager wasn’t lifting my spirits in the usual way because the type of holiday was more sedate than the party atmosphere of the Spanish islands.

I spent a summer going on trips out with my tween girls, thinking the lack of motivation and energy I felt was just the unusually extended greyness of the summer here in 2012. It was only in September when my period that had been so regular for years came 4 days early, that I wondered if it was hormonal and came across stuff online about menopause. I bumped into my child’s friend’s mum who on a particularly anxious super market shop, when we got chatting, told her about how tired I was; and as she was older and lovely (thought she might be going through same) I brought up my periods and exhaustion and she recommended agnus castus; which made my periods go back to every 28 days and stopped my depression for 18 months.

All I can think is that my hormones had shifted again; the agnus castus had worked temporarily but not on the awful pains I would get in my legs if I tried to move after sitting down for a while, or the sensitive bladder I had developed. I then tried Maca which amazingly plumped up my shrivelled lady’s bits; that had shockingly happened in my early forties when the agnus castus stopped working.

That was an awful time; I remember thinking my sex drive had disappeared and my husband would leave me; even though he is a lovely man; I was just having such dark paranoid thoughts. I would feel like I didn’t want to touch him in case it led to him thinking I wanted sex.

After another 18 months the maca stopped working and I went to the doctors to ask for  HRT; but was told by a male doctor I was too young; even after saying my mum had been just 4 years older than me when she finished her periods. He just repeated that he still thought I was too young. I went to a lovely lady doctor who gave me the pill; but I gave up with that because it made me feel so swollen and uncomfortable. I tried two lots of the coil, but it fell out both times, so had to eventually try the HRT patch, which only made me feel swollen very occasionally. I think transdermal HRT has less side effects than the pill.

I have been dealing with incredibly heavy periods throughout my forties and was borderline anaemic so had iron tablets. Once my iron was ok, I still felt brain fogged and weary a lot of the time; and have not been able to exercise a lot as my muscles can seize up really quickly when walking; so, I just live this kind of half-life of not working, not being able to do the degree I always wanted to do because my brain is so foggy, I can’t even follow a recipe. I am grateful for my amazing girls and my husband as I have felt that for 10 years, I have had chronic fatigue, but because of its stigma and my doctor not always being the easiest to talk to, although very helpful at times; I have limited what I tell her; and I continue to rely on my husband’s wage to live. I have lost touch with friends and to a certain extent extended family as they have blanked me when I have mentioned feeling ill. They think I am avoiding them when often I just don’t have any energy to spend time with my younger nieces and nephew. Nobody wants an exhausted aunt around.

So, the HRT takes the edge off my symptoms and allows me to manage a very limited existence, but I think if I could ask and was given testosterone that it would help. I am afraid to bring it up with my doctor though because I am fearful that pushing too much will make her reconsider taking me off the HRT I am on. I am grateful to Carolyn Harris MP and Davina for keeping on pushing so that people like me who feel low in confidence and motivation might one day get the testosterone I think some of us need. I’m afraid it might take my entire 50s until testosterone is available to women in menopause.

I wish all doctors and MP’s would watch the doctor who works with Louise Newson’s video about testosterone, and how in around three quarters of menopausal women it’s too low. She says she thinks the women who cope with menopause better are the quarter who have higher testosterone at this age; so they will have more energy to exercise and manage their symptoms in peri menopause. I’m not saying the last 10 years have been awful as being ill has given me time to be with my girls and listen to them as teenagers; and also being unable to often leave the sofa has meant I have been there for them, and understood more their struggles with ill health. I am now afraid that part of me has changed so much that being more like who I used to be; (an energetic sexually active wife) is so far from who I am now that it seems scary. Part of me also feels bad for my husband that our sex life has been non-existent and he’s had to get used to that over the years; it doesn’t seem fair to suddenly change back to who I was 10 years ago.”

“August 2021-Mirena & Estrogel. Unfortunately, I’ve been struggling since Feb, couldn't get Dr’s appt only phone consult & that was maybe 3 weeks away etc. And even worse I'd say the last 6-8weeks…with anxiety, peri symptoms, I’m all over place, then with med shortages and having to change them a few times really didn't help. No interest in work, or anything. My partner, I’ve even managed to push him away completely. I got to my Dr’s appt 2 weeks ago she said I was in a heightened state of anxiety and she gave me a medical certificate. I'm not in work as I just don't feel I can retain any information. I can't do my job! With shortages I was changed from Estrogel then Lenzetto, this brought back peri symptoms. Due to shortages, I’ve only been given 1 bottle/spray & now on divigel sachets for 2 weeks... will I ever get myself back?”

“Hi, this is such a brilliant thing you're doing! My story is a cracker - not terrible like so many, but a very good indication of where GPs are with the menopause.

I'm 48, didn't feel I was anywhere near the menopause as I don't have hot flushes etc. But my mum, in her menopause, lost HALF her blood before it was decided she needed an emergency hysterectomy. She was very ill, and died at 50 from pneumonia. I had an endometrial ablation in my early 40s to put an end to what was clearly hereditary heavy blood loss and to not have the same extreme experience as my mother. At the time it was not mentioned to me that my bones may well have been impacted/compromised by nearly 30 years of heavy bleeding and anaemia. And for the record - I now think the ablation is the best kept secret! Big life change for the better.

In recent years I have had two frozen shoulders, the second leading to me being signed off work. Having heard frozen shoulders can be hormone related - in Japan it is called 'fifties shoulder' - I requested a blood test to check my hormone levels. My GP said that they are 'symptom led', and don't seek to recognise the menopause through blood tests. I insisted and they did the blood test. I then received a text saying my blood test results were 'normal'. Oh good I thought, not menopausal yet, my joint difficulties can't be related to the menopause. Then a friend, who has a private practice kindly said she wanted to see my blood test results (her instinct is amazing). I requested them from my surgery, she looked at them and informed me that I'm full-blown menopausal - with a very high FSH level. Baffled, I went back to my surgery and asked about my results and queried how they could be 'normal'. I was told - wait for it - "They are normal for a menopausal woman!!!”

I then spoke with a wonderful nurse who apologised for the male doctor's declaration that my results were 'normal' and put me on HRT. I then, again at the suggestion of my friend, requested a bone density scan. I had to fight for it - my GP surgery had told me I didn't quite fulfil the criteria for the scan. I had the scan (feeling I was making a fuss, but I believe my long-term health is worth making a fuss over), and surprise surprise, I have osteopenia. I am amazed that it was because of my friend - not my GP - that I now know (some of) what is happening to my body, and am taking HRT to support myself. Had I simply accepted what my GP surgery had said - no need for a blood test, no need for a scan - my bones would be quietly disintegrating, not to mention everything else. All power to the menopause revolution!”

“I had my last period in 2017. Felt ok and lived a normal healthy life. Symptoms started 2018 increasing monthly. Dizziness daily and vertigo - lower back pain - insomnia- no sex drive - loss of interest in life - depression - muscle weakness - drop foot - migraine - no quality of life.
I’ve gone from being a happy bubbly person to thinking what’s the point… Doctors won’t join the dots. Frequent nightly urination means I don’t sleep and dizziness leads to panic attacks.
Been told by doctor, give it time, I’m not menopausal and refused HRT. Nowhere else to turn…”

“Hi, I’m a nurse. A good one. A senior one. I’ve fought in my little way to be a voice for those who like me have struggled with symptoms without realising what was happening, but have in my efforts actually made myself a fool. I’m now ready to leave my job because my employers have made me feel inadequate and added to the unworthiness I already feel. I’m humiliated and embarrassed - menopause has crushed me. Or maybe I was useless before? Maybe I had a false sense of my own importance and the reality is menopause has shown me that I’m so very misguided.”

“I’m in my 50s now and have been using HRT patches for just under 2 years, previously when I sought help for the lack of sleep, brain fog terrible anxiety etc I was fobbed off or misdiagnosed. I was told my lifestyle was stressful and offered anti depressants, sleeping tablets, both of which I refused, (I was a single mum and felt I needed to be awake and alert to be a decent parent !). When I asked about HRT I was warned about the high risk of breast cancer which frightened me off. I tried over the counter remedies for the hot flushes and sleeplessness, aches and pains and through trial and error tweaked my diet and changed my exercise routine. After my sister managed to get prescribed patches in lockdown I spoke to a GP over the phone and told him about my sister and that I wanted patches too. He prescribed me exactly the same patches with few questions. It has made a huge difference, but I cannot believe that such important treatment is not free and readily available to all who need it. My experience was pretty unpleasant but nowhere near as bad as many others who I know are really struggling. Throw in the added expense of HRT, especially now when many are choosing between heating and eating, — how can we stand by and allow women to suffer like this?”

“I’m 51, and what you’re discussing feels like a faraway luxury for me to even think about going to a doctor to discuss. I tried to talk to the OBgyn, she’s supposed to specialize in menopause, I went to a few years ago. She wanted only to tell me to lose weight. I told her I do everything I can but nothing works and maybe I should take HRT. She said, they don’t help with weight loss. That was it.
I’ve had water retention in my uterus, massive bleeding and more common menopausal symptoms, mostly fatigue and depression. Which I’ve been made to feel, is just me. There’s nobody to talk to. And I put the symptoms aside, thinking I just gotta live with it.
My husband won’t pay for any HRT and without insurance, here in the US, I might as well just “forget” my menopause and just continue to deal with it on my own. At least if I die you can tell my story.”

“I turn 50 this year and I'm a singer songwriter. Two years ago I lost all my confidence and my poor body was in a mess because of the Perimenopause. I started taking HRT and my life totally turned around. I jumped out of a plane for a sponsored skydive last week, put myself in the forefront in a new music video and feel capable and alive again! So HRT matters. It changes lives.”

“I am 54 and last year in January 2021 I had to visit the GP as I was suddenly in a great deal of pain. I paid privately for a scan which showed two fibroids one very sizeable. In March 2021 I needed to have a sub-total hysterectomy plus my ovaries were removed. My surgery was on the NHS and I felt very fortunate, plus my GP surgery was initially very supportive and pro active I thought in terms of HRT. But the lack of after care following surgery and support/care in terms of the menopause has been lacking. I was in a lot of pain and I was referred to a NHS physio in August 2021 for online treatment. After a failed attempt at a phased return to work I was in such a state I started meeting the physio face to face. ( I have had to give up work). She was the person who told me I needed to be on vaginal estrogen and later I needed her help to be prescribed a vaginal moisturiser… information that I feel the GP should have given me. I was in contact with the surgery regularly as I had continual UTI’s. In addition the physio recommended I see a menopause specialist in February this year 2022. With the specialist’s help I increased the number of patches. I had been on one patch since May 2021. It is only the specialist who I feel is really helpful. I have been using Lenzetto spray since 1/4/22 and without the specialist I would be on just one dose. I am actually needing to take three sprays twice a day. My estrogen levels are being monitored at the moment as they have been so low and I have just had to pay £80 plus a recorderd delivery postal charge to obtain testosterone. It is costing me a fortune in terms of consultant fees and this information should be known by at least one designated GP in a surgery. Plus testosterone should be available on the NHS. All in all it has been a nightmare and I am still trying to battle my way through. I have experienced anxiety, sleep disturbance and awful fatigue, plus I have been very weepy. I have spent time and money researching to help make an informed decision but I wish as women we didn’t need to battle at a time when we feel so vulnerable. There should be access on the NHS for all the HRT medication and we should be dealt with on a case by case basis. Access to treatment should be free and readily available to all and not dependent on your personal means or postcode.”

“I was snowballed into perimenopause following chemotherapy and radiotherapy for lymphoma at the age of 39. My hormones were only considered as part of my fertility; I was asked before treatment whether I wanted any more children - I then presumed I would be in a menopausal state after treatment - which I thought wouldn’t be a problem as my understanding was this would just mean no periods - I had never been taught or told otherwise.
Within three years after treatment I was unrecognisable to myself. I experienced an accumulation overtime into a cesspit of symptoms including anxiety, suicidal thoughts, crippling foot and joint pain, weight gain, hair loss, palpitations, UTIs, 3 metatarsal stress fractures, lethargy, erratic moods and more. At one stage I remember saying to my husband I feel as though I shouldn’t have bothered having chemo as I felt pointless, worthless and a burden to my family. The irony being chemo and radiotherapy were a doddle compared to this mental and physical hormonal state I was in, not least because of the support and understanding available to me at the time of treatment which doesn’t exist for perimenopause.
My own extensive research and new found understanding of what perimenopause and menopause actually entailed empowered me to keep going and somehow muster the energy to seek help. Unfortunately, I saw many, albeit lovely, GPs who were just too scared of the cancer back story. An NHS referral resulted in a ‘no appointments available at this time’. I paid to go privately - some reluctance to prescribe was met here also and I was told I could only be on HRT for a short time. I took the prescription and within 3 days my life started to change for the better. I was no longer crippled by joint pain in the mornings, my anxiety began to reduce and I had the energy to help myself in other ways - such as exercise. Nearly a year on, I have found another consultant privately, who has explained I fall into the POI category which would explain some persistence/return of symptoms as my HRT dosage will likely need to be increased to ‘off license’, but that my HRT is imperative for future, long term health. All of which I had read - but finding a health care practitioner with the same understanding has taken time, patience, emotional energy and money. All women going through cancer treatment should have a hormonal care plan in place - a fully informed one. Having recently moved counties, I am also now aware of the postcode lottery in terms of follow up care and being directed towards hormonal support following cancer treatment - this shouldn’t be the case.”

“I was only 34 and trying to conceive. Having just come off the pill I thought that was why my periods were erratic. At the same time, my thyroid seemed to swell up. After a biopsy and ultrasound, they found nodules on my thyroid. The thyroid had been feeding the tumour rather than my body. I was put on Thyroxine and the tumours decreased but the periods never came back. This was back in the early 80’s. I went through a lot of fertility tests but no-one linked the thyroid problems with infertility. And yes, I went through the sweats, the claustrophobia and the mood swings but didn’t know that I was going through menopause. I couldn’t have had HRT as my sister died of breast cancer. I wonder if they have more information now on the role the thyroid plays in fertility health and menopause.”

“When pregnant with my second child at the age of 38, I was told I have a large (11-12cm) fibroid, which lead to me giving birth via C section. After giving birth my periods became extremely heavy. I have always suffered with break through bleeding, spotting after sex, but since giving birth, sex was now becoming so painful, I physically couldn’t. I was always needing a wee, I would work out a toilet plan where ever I went and the thought of not having a toilet nearby sent anxiety through me, my tiredness was like being in those early weeks of pregnancy, it was unbearable.
Approx 6 months after giving birth I went to see my gynaecologist, we talked through my systems and he asked if my husband and I were considering having more children, after a fairly tricky birth with the fibroid we said probably not. This was the point where my gynaecologist told me that a potential hysterectomy would be good to stop all my ongoing symptoms and why keep my uterus if I didn’t need it anymore. It was so dismissive, like it was such an easy decision to make. We decided to try the coil as a form of contraception and have a biopsy of my uterus to see if there was anything else wrong.
After going back and forth to a couple of gynaecologists and my weeing problem getting ridiculous and debilitating, I was giving an internal examination and told I could be going incontinent, which if I was it would mean surgery.
With all these problems in place, I was told the best option was to have a hysterectomy.
In 2017, I had a sub-total hysterectomy, due to my age they decided to leave my ovaries in place. It was found during surgery that I had two very large fibroid, endometriosis and my bowel and bladder were fused together. No wonder I was it finding life hard, there was a lot going on inside of me.
I was discharged from hospital with no mention of my body going into early menopause, or any symptoms I may start to feel.
After 6 weeks I had a check, was told should I get any bleeding, progesterone could be prescribed to help me.
After a few months, I noticed I was having some sort of period still, but was suffering from hot sweats/flashes. I was told to go on the contraceptive pill and have CBT therapy.
Overtime, my moods changed, I suffered with hot sweats, lack of sleep, no libido, dry skin, brain fog, anxiety.
I was sent to hospital in 2020 as I had extreme chest pains so much that I couldn’t move, I felt like I had a continual lump in my throat, I think this was actually anxiety.
I suffered until 2021, when I paid privately to go on a bio identical therapy, which helped no end, but long term I couldn’t afford to keep up with this treatment.
I was and am now still suffering with pains in my left hand side, where my ovaries are, the pain I can only describe as like contractions. So I called my GP to say I’m in more pain than I was pre-surgery. I explained I’d be on bio identical therapy and after the seeing Davina McCall program could she provide me with HRT, finally they agreed.
If it wasn’t for your program I would have thought I was depressed, because that’s what it felt like, my anger towards my husband and kids was unacceptable, my marriage was on the rocks, I felt like giving up and then your program brought me a ray of light in a very dark tunnel.

I continue on HRT, although still in pain, I feel so much better than I did, I wish I could get on top of the fatigue, it’s crippling some days. But I’m much better on HRT than off and I don’t want my family, husband or I to suffer any longer than necessary.”

“It took me months to pluck up the courage to go to the doctor. She didn’t even make eye contact, kept typing away & actually asked me why I was crying .. but at least she wrote me out a prescription which I was grateful for. I just found it very humiliating but thankfully I found support elsewhere.”

“I’ve been on HRT for 5 years. I am 50 years old. Today I got my prescription for Estrogel together with a new prescription for Testin. I’ve been to the chemist who says they have no Estrogel for a week with a backlog of 40 prescriptions and they have no testin and suggested I ring round chemists to find somewhere that has a supply. I’ve contacted 10 chemists local to me and no one can supply. I am starting to get very concerned as I certainly cannot run out!”

“For the past decade I've suffered a myriad of symptoms, I've been to my GP countless times... I've been repeatedly offered antidepressants & anti-anxiety medication.... I put all the symptoms down to the anxiety disorder my GP diagnosed.... Until recently a friend got HRT, and was so delighted she shared her experience with me. And so I educated myself, and I went back to the GP armed with my symptoms and information from the menopause doctor’s website. My GP wouldn't listen or look at the information I had brought with me, I was told not to take medical advice from the internet . And so I went private, the private doctor was wonderful, and she would write to my GP to tell them what to prescribe. But it didn't stop there, my GP clearly did not want to give me the prescription. They stalled, then part prescribed just the oestrogen, without progesterone or testosterone.. I had to request a copy of the letter from the menopause doctor as my own GP refused to show it to me. Only when I finally got a copy of the letter myself did I manage to get the medication that I needed. HRT has changed my life, it's giving me my life back. I can think again, I'm no longer ruled by anxiety or plunged into the depths of depression. I am still however having an issue with vaginal dryness and have requested vaginal oestrogen but as yet to no end. I think I'm going to have to save up and go private to get that again. It's really shouldn't be this hard.”

“I had a hysterectomy when I was 39 yrs old. The surgeon left 1 ovary in situ to try to stave off the menopause. When I was 42 yrs old, I started with brain fog, forgetfulness, disturbed sleep, anxiety and depression. I went to my GP who gave me antidepressants and referred me to mental health services. The GP began to increase my dosage of antidepressants as I was still experiencing symptoms. I felt hopeless and suicidal. After almost 4 yrs of struggling and thinking I was going mad, my GP checked my hormone levels, which showed I was menopausal. He was reluctant to prescribe HRT and told me to try herbal remedies instead, as HRT had may side effects including cancer. I tried the herbal remedies and they did not work and my mental health began to spiral, I even took an overdose. I felt I was going mad and there was no hope for me, the only way to obtain peace was to die.

I then began to research HRT. I went back to my GP and told him I wanted to start treatment. I told him all the risks and told him I was happy to take the risk and I wanted the treatment. He was still reluctant and gave me 1 month supply and said he would review it and that I could only stay on it for 5 yrs maximum. I was placed on elleste solo and I began to feel "normal". My moods, sleeping, sweats all improved. It improved my quality of life. Then I was told by the pharmacy that my prescription could not be filled as there was a problem with the manufacturer and supply of elleste, I was told to go back to my GP for an alternative. I did this, but the alternative did not appear to work as well as elleste and I found myself suffering with the symptoms I had prior to taking elleste. I tried at least 3 others and eventually I researched which HRT had similar chemicals and absorption as elleste. I have been on zumenon for approx 2 yrs and it has alleviated some symptoms. I still suffer with anxiety and depression. I hate to think how I would be without HRT.

I believe that GPs are not trained effectively in the subject and that pharmaceutical companies don’t see any benefit in manufacturing the product as it is probably not of monetary benefit compared to the prescribing of antidepressants.
This subject should be a priority.”

“I have been suffering with menopause since I was 23yrs old … I am now 32yrs old and still suffering.

My 20’s were very difficult, being so young it was unheard of for someone my age to be going through the menopause. I suffered badly for 3/4years with out any HRT treatment with hot and cold night sweats, loss of libido, vaginal dryness, mood swings, foggy memory, insomnia, hot flushes, depression and anxiety.

I felt so alone, I felt fobbed off by my doctors and felt I couldn’t speak to my friends as they didn’t understand what I was going through, I suffered in silence.

Now at 32 I have been on HRT for approx 5yrs, I also need to take a progesterone pill and I’m on tablets for high blood pressure. The HRT has helped with the night hot and cold sweats but now I experience night terrors.

This is something in my 20’s I have always been embarrassed about so never spoken up but now I have done a lot of my own research. As well as HRT I have started taking different vitamins, magnesium, folic acid, omega 3 to help protect my bones and skin, and b12 to reduce fatigue. This is all what I have researched myself, I have had very little help or acknowledgement from my doctors.

Since turning 30 it become apparent I needed to change and think of myself, I keep myself busy with different projects around the house so I don’t sit and dwell on the fact that I’m different to any other girl my age.

I would love to be able to help any young girl suffering with this like myself.”

“I didn't know I was peri-menopausal when I went through a year of heavy bleeding month to month. A couple of years after this was resolved with a surgical procedure the hot flushes, heart palpitations, sleeplessness, migraines, brain fog, clumsiness, inability to cope really started. I spoke to my GP she mentioned HRT but said it came with risks so I kept plodding on and just took her word for it. I was struggling at work and I didn't want to socialise, life was exhausting. The final straw was ending up at A&E with my knee being stitched after another clumsy episode. I went back to the GP desperate and asked for HRT as I couldn't continue in this way. I'd discovered Dr Newson at this point so requested body identical HRT. I was put on one Estrogel pump to start with with a suggestion of increasing to two. After using the resources that Dr Newson and team provided I'm now on four pumps a day.

The difference has turned my life around and I keep asking myself why I wasn't encouraged to start this sooner when I was having the heavy bleeds. I missed at least 5 years of this treatment. When I first requested an increase in my prescription to accommodate the 4 pumps of Estrogel a month, the practice nurse told me that I should use the minimum amount each month and make my prescription last! I was a mixture of distraught at the thought of having to tolerate symptoms to make my prescription last and angry that she thought that was even an option. Thankfully the GP supported my request and increased the dose.

Now I'm in the position with so many women wondering whether I'm going to be able to get my prescription this month. The thought of going without and back to experiencing those horrendous daily symptoms is unbearable. I've reduced my dose each day to try make it last but already the joint pains, headaches and sleeplessness are coming back. My sister posted me some of her sachets so that I didn't need to limit my dose. HRT isn't a luxury it is essential for me and so many others to have in order to function day to day. We are all affected in so many ways. I've been told I need Testosterone but can't be prescribed that until it's approved. So I have to continue to suffer with the symptoms of low Testosterone, why should I? I cannot thank Dr Newson enough for educating women such as myself, she really is an ambassador for women's health.”

“.My story started 3 years ago when I was 40. My periods got so heavy that it massively affected my ability at work. As a PE teacher in a primary school, I often had to abandon classes and go home to change and my confidence was rock bottom. I spoke to my GP and over the phone she prescribed the mini pill without any discussion of the perimenopause. I naively thought I was cured. Fast track 2 years and symptoms started to creep in that I thought were due to other factors. Rage, anxiety, low mood, paranoia, tinnitus, hair loss. The list went on but thinking it was to do with lockdown I did nothing. Until my sister in law pointed me in the direction of Dr Naomi Potter and I watched and read her posts, often crying because I related to it all.
I contacted my GP immediately and they were reluctant to see me. Even though I said it was to treat the peri, they kept saying I was too young to have HRT for the menopause. They were looking at it as just THE MENOPAUSE and not the different stages. I found myself having educate them and finally after being prescribed anti depressants, my GP asked me what I wanted. I then started on Estrogel but she failed to prescribed progesterone so I had to go back and tell her I needed that too. Her words were, you can have it but watch out for the side effects. All of my appointments over the last year, unless they were for bloods, have been by email.
I instantly felt better and some symptoms went altogether but my low mood and loss of libido still lingered over me like a dark cloud. I wrote desperate emails to my GP after hearing about testosterone and it’s benefits. This was one of my lowest points as I was embarrassed and felt completely alone. Her response was there was nothing they could do apart from refer me to couples therapy!! My partner had been extremely patient but this was not his doing and I felt completely let down. Why was there this drug available to some but not all? I sent more desperate emails and eventually they referred me to a gynaecologist who prescribed the testosterone! Now my fight is actually getting the prescription as my GP still won’t prescribe it and I go back and fourth from each dr both telling me there’s nothing they can do!
All we want is to be happy, healthy and not lose ourselves along this path to our maturer years. I have now made so many changes to my lifestyle to embrace this change but I want help from the professionals too and I actually don’t think that’s too much to ask for.
It feels like we are being left on the shelf to become a former shell of ourselves and I don’t want that for me. I will keep fighting for what we need. The evidence is there, we just need the right people to listen.”

“Lenzetto shortage in the UK has meant that I have paid privately to receive a spray which will hopefully last until it is back in stock. £30 for one spray (need 2 per month).

Additionally, my existing spray has a fault and I cannot exchange it at my chemist (which my pharmacist is happy to do) due to no stock being available. As a result I’ve had a reduced dosage and the return of symptoms- my mood is very low.

This can’t go on. I read about the implementation of additional import taxation for branded generics which has reduced the incentive for production and supply of HRT to the UK - coupled with the increased demand, it looks bleak.”

“My husband has bought me some oestrogel using eBay, at 4x the cost of a prescription.”

“My name is Emma and in 2019 at the age of 29 I was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. After 6 cycles of chemotherapy I had surgery to remove the remaining mass. I also have a total hysterectomy including both ovaries which meant I went straight into surgically induced menopause. It was not explained to me AT ALL what to expect and where to find advice post surgery.
My first hot flush I thought I was having a stroke.
I contacted my oncology team and GP for help but no one would prescribe me HRT because of my previous cancer. The symptoms were horrific and in my personal opinion worse than having cancer. At lease with cancer I had sympathy and support. I did not sleep, the hot flushes felt like fire, I couldn’t remember simple things or words, the pain in my joints were so bad that my husband had to carry my upstairs at night. All of this while only being 30 years of age.
I have no children and now will not ever have a biological child so I was also grieving. I had mood swings and massive anxiety. It took 5 months to be seen by the menopause clinic who had my mass tested and proved that my cancer was not oestrogen responsive. Why couldn’t this have been done by my oncology team or GP?
I took months and many different methods of HRT and I finally found a prescription that worked for me but now there is no HRT gels available and I have to start from the beginning. Honestly I don’t know how I will be able to do it again.
Menopause strips you of you body and your mind. You are not you when you are going through menopause and it is not fair that it is just seen as something we have to put up with with very little to no support.
I also HAVE to have HRT as the risk of osteoporosis and heart disease rises with lack of oestrogen in younger menopause sufferers.”

“I'm now 70, but I was prescribed HRT early on in my perimenopausal stage due to brittle bones. Unfortunately due to some adverse research that found taking the birth control pill longer than 10 years greatly increased the risk of cancer, I was advised that this also included HRT and was strongly advised to stop taking my HRT. (I was put on a different medicine for the bone problem) I then went through withdrawal symptoms similar to the stages of the menopause with night sweats etc but feel they were probably reduced due to my having actually gone through the menopause whilst on HRT. Whilst having periods in my earlier life, I suffered badly from PMT so was prescribed Prozac. I assumed that this would disappear once my periods and HRT had been left behind. Sadly this was not the case, there is was some research on of this condition, so I stayed on prozac until fairly recently, and I am now weaning myself off them, all in one go iwa too much, symptoms returned after about a month, so I am currently taking them every other or third day. My concerns are twofold, A) can I be put back on HRT to prevent early onset of dementia etc? How long is one advised to be on HRT these days? or is it too late? If it is too late, B) My libido is non existent and has been since coming off HRT. I have an extremely dry vagina, but I do have vagifem that helps. Is there any form of HRT that could help me now?”

“I started getting symptoms at the age of 36 these were gradual and I would just dismiss them, or think it was down to endemitriosis, which was diagnosed at age 28. At 37 my mood was so low and kept going to the Drs with different symptoms. I had blood tests and was told I could be peri menopausal. However, nothing was offered to me. I saw another Dr a little while later as I started thinking I had ovarian cancer due to constant bloating irregular periods and the constant need to pee. I had more blood tests and was told I couldn’t be peri menopauseal because of my age. This left me completely confused as the other Dr told me my blood results could indicate this earlier on. I went away very confused. I am now 41 years old I have had so many blood tests been to the Drs so many times. I have been made to have a laperoscopy and a hysteroscopy all the while I have argued I know my body please give me HRT but instead of even been tried on it I have been told
I have had to have all these procedures which have all shown nothing wrong. My periods have a cycle of between 15 days and 60+ days sometimes I have two in one month sometimes none at all. I have anxiety like never in my life low mood which I refused anti depressants several times. I have had insomnia no labido, constant headaches, itchy skin, bleeding gums, amongst other symptoms but by far the worst was thinking I was going mad. I have felt like I knew more than the Drs telling them you can’t necessarily diagnose peri menopausal symptoms by blood test yet being made to have them over and over again and then the Drs left scratching their heads. I felt like a medical mystery all these symptoms yet no obvious cause. It was obvious to me and I have had to fight for years to be heard. At 41 I am now on HRT patches a few months in and my symptoms are slightly relieved yet I still feel I need testosterone. I am still struggling with fatigue and low labido infact I just have very little interest in sex with my partner. He is very supportive but he’s seen my in some terrible states from feeling suicidal to me not wanting him to touch me which makes him feel rejected. I am still some days anxious and don’t want to be around people. I am early days on treatment and hoping eventually I will be back to my old self again. There needs to be better education for Drs the government need to do more to support woman at what ever age they start to go through this, I clearly was not too young. If anything it’s worse being peri menopausal and still having periods which are irregular and very unpredictable. Testosterone needs to be available to woman we loose 3 hormones yet are only given 2 back which makes no sense. I’m telling my story because it has deeply impacted my life, and needs to be told. It’s affected my relationships my chances of work after graduating and my ability to work with all the suffering I have endured. Listen to your body it’s smarter than we are.”

“With all the negative press about menopause and hrt I wanted to share the other side, to give women hope.
I had started with all the typical symptoms at age 51 and it was my husband who suggested it may be worth a visit to the go to ask about hrt after reading and article in the news.
I made the appointment and having done lots of reading and research I prepared myself for a fight. I could not have been more wrong.
My gp was absolutely wonderful, agreed with me, prescribed hrt and gave me lots of follow up reading to do including the Balance app.
Even following the shortages of gel I was quickly changed to the spray accompanied by a phone call from the doctor to check all was ok.
I know I have been fortunate but want to let women know that help is out there. If your gp refuses then seek a 2nd opinion
Use all the resources that are available to you, there are so many help pages, groups and forums available- use them.”

“I am 47 and started HRT 6 months ago and have found my nurse practitioner helpful, I now take Sandrena and utrogestan. My initial worst symptoms were a high level of joint pain, severe headaches, flushes and not feeling like me and often feeling stressed and low. On certain days the headaches affected my ability to work as efficiently . Like many on an appointment with the Gp I was offered anti depressants which I declined. I am grateful that these symptoms listed have improved. I think of my menopause as early in terms of age as I started having flushes 5 years ago and I remember this so well as I was in the workplace at the time! I had an endometrial ablation 8 years ago for heavy painful periods. I am interested to know if there is more research on the joints/inflammation/oestrogen levels falling and stressors. I have a right frozen shoulder and 5 years ago the left was frozen and resulted in 2 steroid injections and surgery. Just had the first steroid injection on the right. This causes so much frustration and pain and I would love to see the area researched as I have no risk factor other than age and being a woman! Until I started this journey I never even knew joint pain was a symptom of the menopause nor brain fog . From watching Davinas programme last night I am fortunate that the prescribing of Hrt for me has been the smoothest part.”

“I am 51. I had a total hysterectomy 4 years ago ovaries/all removed. I suspected I was menopausal in my late 30’s and at that point was totally reliable on reading up on things on Google. My doctor did an FSH test once but that was it. I changed surgeries several years ago due to something not related to this and struck lucky as my new doctor (or at least the lady I just happened to be booked in with when I first joined), is/was very up on everything menopause related. Her and her colleague go for regular training I believe. The only thing is it’s very difficult to get in with her.
I was offered anti depressants at one point several years ago but didn’t take them as felt that wasn’t right for me.
I started low dose hrt tablets a few months after my hysterectomy. This was because I went to the doctors and asked for it. I wasn’t offered it at the hospital or doctors after my hysterectomy. It wasn’t discussed at all at the hospital. Again, it was only through Google (and through a Facebook group I had joined just before the op), that I realised I should be on HRT.
I went through different dosages to try and get on top of symptoms, they had to give me different names of tablets due to shortages a couple of years ago. I had to drive around several pharmacies to get them and have always tried to get them a little while before I need them in case I hasn’t a problem. I don’t want to be without the HRT. I went on to Evorel 50 patches in August and although I am starting to get a bit hot again and not and don’t sleep well still, I feel like a different woman. More positive, less angry and less mood swings. Also more energy.
I’m so pleased there is so much discussion about it now. It really helps. I don’t have children but I hope the next generations of women get a lot more help.
Really hoping I can get the patches when I run out in a few months. Luckily I got 6 months supply this time. It has previously been 3 months for the patches. Possibly because I am fairly new to them. I know some women only get a one month supply. That would never work for me as I am away with work a fair bit.
Looking back to maybe 5-10 years ago, I can definitely say that the fatigue, general feeling of being unwell with it, and mood swings /anger, all affected my job. I am freelance in a private aviation industry and think there have been missed opportunities where I could have had permanent jobs or regular work at some places, but just didn’t feel up to it.
I wish someone could have told me I could take HRT before the menopause. I also want to find out if I can have a combination of oestrogen and testosterone /progesterone from my doctor next time instead of oestrogen. As you can see from my writing testosterone/progesterone, I am still not sure about the options or correct wording, even after all of this time on it and reading about it!
Mum (who is 85), was on HRT tablets for a while when she was younger but didn't get on with them so I remember her always advising me against them. I had a number of gynae issues over the years, including Endometriosis quite badly in late 20’s/30’s. Female doctor dealing with that told me off the record never to go on HRT. This would have been around 15 years ago when it was, I believe, a different sort of HRT, that also got bad press generally and most of us were too worried to take it because we were worried about breast cancer or other health issues that may arise from taking it back then. That still exists a bit but not so much for me as my doctor explained a lot of stuff to me and showed me a very interesting comparison poster online that showed risks if you drink, smoked, are overweight etc.
I think it’s vital that women of my age talk about it and know more about it because our mums weren’t generally given any help, it was a taboo subject and also resulted in a lot of them even saying to this day things like “I was ok, I got by without it, what’s the big fuss about running out of HRT etc”. I am very grateful for all of these forums etc. Times are changing, and hopefully they can get this awful and unnecessary shortage situation sorted out asap too.”

“I felt embarrassed because I had hot flushes..I used to put my face in the freezer to try to not look so stupid. My confidence was totally undermined as I felt that everything I said looked like a lie. This was because I didn’t want to have a flush in a difficult circumstance so the anticipation made a flush inevitable..This really affected my working role as I did not receive any support, just laughter at my red face.”

“God, where to start.... I had a hysterectomy at 42. By about 45/6 I was having all sorts of aches, pains, not sleeping, head ache etc. Was misdiagnosed with fibro myalgia and given all sorts of pain killing drugs, antidepressants and hrt.
I left my job before I was sacked. I could not function at anything.
I knew it wasn't fibro so I weaned myself off all the meds and hrt. I didn't feel it was doing anything for me.
12 years on and I'm still struggling but I deal with it, but don't feel half as bad as I did.”

“In 2012 after our second baby was born my periods and the pain were horrendous. I saw numerous doctors , had numerous scans and checks. There were checks for abnormal cells on my cervix, I had an endoscopy and was told there was a small amount of endometriosis and it was manageable with a coil. This was in 2018 and I wasn’t convinced, so I got a second opinion to which I was told from the scans I had had my womb was on the larger side and needed removing due to endometriosis and the womb being abnormally large (something that had effected my periods since our second child ) so for 7 years I had battled and battled with professionals that this wasn’t just any normal heavy period it was horrific.
My new gynaecologist suggested removing my womb and cleaning the endometriosis- so I agreed. On the day of my surgery in March 2019 my consultant was honest and open and said if he had to remove more than my womb did I agree - I was in so much pain I consented to do what was needed.

4 and a half hours later I woke from surgery to feel padding on my lower abs, being passed morphine and told to lay still. The next morning my consultant came to see me and broke the news that I was covered in endometriosis and he had had to go abdominally to remove my womb , my ovaries, cervix and the endometriosis was on my bowel but he managed to save this. So on 6th March 2019 at 34 years old I was met with the menopause! I had no idea what was waiting for me or what to expect - with little support and no one in my age range or group of friends being able to chat with me or understand what was about to happen.

3 weeks after the surgery it started - hot flushes, low mood, itching and brain fog were the first to meet me! I tried the HRT patches but they gave me a rash so we went for oestrogel. I along with this I continued with my exercise and started to look at my diet.

This is a journey I am still travelling and at 37 years old it can be a lonely place but one day at a time! Being 34 , no more children for me naturally and the menopause hitting me alike a ton of bricks from surgery it’s been a challenge, the hardest part for me is the anxiety, brain fog and weight gain (I exercise 6 days a week but I my body has changed so much!)

I would love for HRT to be more readily available, have face time face forums or tours from menopause doctors that give us vital information and share my surgery of surgically induced menopause with other women. You’re not wrong to question and your not wrong to ask for second opinions.”

“I retired from the NHS as a specialist nurse because of my god awful menopause symptoms. I received no help from my managers or even empathy. My matron told me "it's only the menopause". One of my many symptoms was brain fog and my manager put me on a disciplinary action route. This was humiliating after a 20 year exemplary nursing career. I was on HRT but I now know it wasn't the correct dose. I had originally intended to work until my State Pension started so that I could save for my retirement. I had to retire early aged 59 as I simply couldn't cope anymore. So I retired and lived in poverty for four years. I had so little money I bought no new underwear until I got my SP. I even stole toilet paper from cafes to make ends meet. I'm still angry about this and I've been retired ten years. I am also so pleased that you and others are pressurising the government and employees to finally acknowledge how fucking awful the menopause can be. Thanks for letting me vent x”

“I saw a female GP at my surgery who printed an A4 paper with info whilst having a chat. This whole thing took 10 mins at most. I sorted myself out with research. Years later I saw my medical records. The entry said we had a ‘long chat’!”

“I was feeling so alone and a waste of space - not quite suicidal but could sympathise with people who did feel that way.”

“Just turned 61, and when I presented myself to my doctor who is female, at the age of 52 with altered mood low libido and night sweats, I was told that HRT wasn't for me. I accepted this advice as I thought the doctor knew best and was denying it for health reasons. I carried on with the uncomfort of menopause but feel angry now how little advice/support I was given. I know presume at 61 that I don’t even qualify for HRT!!!!!”

“I started feeling out of control, not coping with life at all and breaking down in tears all the time, forgetting the simplest things that were previously easy, i had worked hard in my career in HR and raising my son and suddenly i just couldnt cope. I was also having horrendous heavy periods and had often had to go home during work to shower and change. I saw my gp who told me i was depressed and prescribed anti depressants but i told him i didnt want them. Fast forward a couple of years and many appointments later and i was also having blood tests every 3 months for underactive thyroid (my levels werent low enough so no medication until they were) i remember a particular male gp, who was really nice, and when he told me i was also peri menopausal and it was something i just had to get through and i broke down in tears as he said i could try over the counter remedies as they don't recommend hrt, and to expect other symptoms such as a dry vagina, i looked at him through the snot and tears and said "well thank you very much and i left" despondent. My next appointment for blood tests i saw a wonderful gp who immediately referred me to endocrinology and i started on the thyroid treatment journey (another type of very similar hell) and found out i also had hashimoto thyroditis. Probably a couple of years later i had taken redundancy at work which was timed perfectly as i just wasnt coping at all. I went for a walk along the river and i had seen a new podcast from the menopause doctor so started to listen, the very first one and dr newson was describing a patient who was a professional successful women with a family who found she couldnt cope with life, i remember throwing my arms in the air with a "wow" and saying "this is me"! Blew my mind and i proceeded to check out her website as this was prior to the balance app, and once i was fully armed i called my new gp surgery as i had moved, i asked for an appointment with a menopause doctor or one that specialises in female health, this was made very easily and when the appointment came and i sat down opposite her, i calmly informed her i had been suffering for around 8 years with peri menopausal symptoms, had done my research on dr newsons website I wanted to be prescribed HRT as i was struggling to cope, i was calm, composed and determined because i was empowered with the right information and she immediately started the process of prescribing it. I breathed a huge sigh of relief just because I felt i was seen and heard, a few months followed where the tablets just didnt work for me and made me nauseous and headaches and i was then given the mirena coil and patches! Hallelujah
Then came the shortages of hrt and the nail biting anxiety when dreading collecting my prescription and the numberous times they had run out. I have wept in the chemist in dispair on numerous occasions and refused to leave until they told me what was available and liased with my gp to get replacements. I know it wasnt the fault of the pharmacist but my local one just treated me like i was an irritant and were so rude i asked my gp to send them elsewhere, and now i collect them from another pharmacy who are really very nice.
I have wept talking to doctors receptionists when trying to chase my gp for replacement hrt when they have ran out. It makes me so angry that its allowed and expected that women just need to go through it, and replacing the depleted hormones can make such a massive difference in your health and quality of life, the number of women over 50 who reduce their working hours or stop working is unfathomable to me. I also appreciate we are the first generation of women who openly talk about menopause as it has previously been pushed under the carpet as a taboo subject, i have older friends who recoil if the subject comes up as they are embarrassed, this is awful.”

“I see lots of discussions about HRT up to the age of 60, what are we supposed to do after this age? I am 64 and the symptoms only started 3 years ago, I have been really lonely, depressed and nowhere to turn; I was prescribed the HRT patches but I am scared to use them as there is not consistent information, for example the prescribing information says that there risk of thrombosis etc; which’s scary. I would like to see more to support women over 60 as the symptoms can go a long time after that age. Thank you.”

“I am 43 years old and believe I am suffering many perimenopause symptoms. I have severe shortness of breath but not asthma, I have extreme joint pain, itchy feet, insomnia, migraines, brain fog, lack of sex drive and now irregular periods and feel like I could just sit and cry. I have now seen 3 doctors all of whom have dismissed what I say as I seem too young, I have explained my mother was a similar age when she started with symptoms and whilst acknowledging that this did have a bearing it was still unlikely that this is what my symptoms were. I have been prescribed an anti depressant for my migraines. I don't know what do now as I don't have the energy to keep arguing the point and I can't face being dismissed again. It is affecting my whole life and it feels like no-one cares.”

“At 41 (I'm now 46) I noticed issues with brain fog, hot flushes, drastic mood swings. Dr did blood tests said I should take the pill. I didn't because I knew 1. I had fertility issues, 2 I'd taken it since 16 for acne then later as contraception until mid 30s. Couple of years on, struggling with chronic depression and anxiety, no energy, still hot flushes etc too. Put on anti depressants. Stated on for 6 months, gained over a stone which made things even worse. Weaned myself off and focused on exercise which helped but still struggled in my day job (teacher) with memory/ organisation issues, lack of energy/ motivation in a job I LOVE, hot flushes, and insomnia. Returned to drs May 20, had blood tests and was sent for scan as I had very intermittent periods and random bleeding. Scan showed possible lump on kidney, so then menopause issues ignored to investigate that. After MRI showed nothing, it looks like scans got mixed up... anyway, called drs to follow up and finally spoke to a female GP who agreed to put me on HRT straight away. Oestrogel and progesterone days 15-26. It was like magic, energy levels up, mood just balanced out, felt like me again ... and after my first bottle was nearly ending, the nation ran out. I had two weeks of no treatment at all. DR kept saying no issue with oestrogel, just wait for it. Finally put me on sandrena as alternative. It's OK but nowhere near as good. Mood swings are back, energy low, brain fog. Sleeping OK when I take progesterone and skin lovely on those days. Not had any follow up with GP, not sure if I'm supposed to. Feel kind of abandoned to get on with it now. Just want to feel like a fully functioning human again.”

“I started to feel ‘different’ at 39, initially having hot flushes when drying my hair & needing to open a window. This escalated to flushes during the night, more headaches than normal & a sadness I’d not felt before. I saw my GP, mentioned my mum had an early menopause but was told there was no ‘test’ & to diagnose. I was given HRT for 6 months but when I returned I wasn’t sure if they’d helped & was taken off them.
Over the next year my symptoms gradually escalated, my sex drive diminished & at this time my marriage suffered. I was unhappy, maybe more so because of the sadness I’d felt for a year, my husband withdrew, I think his ego was also flattered by another & we eventually separated a year later then divorced.
In just 2 years my whole world had turned upside down. I saw my GP again, & was prescribed anti-depressants for my low mood. I asked about blood tests, HRT again but was told as I was 41 it was unlikely I was going through the menopause & HRT would be more detrimental than beneficial.
I started to suffer with neck pain at about 42, now believing my bones were being affected. I pushed for treatment, received a short course of physio & requested a MRI, which I received at 44. It showed moderate arthritis, not ‘normal’ for 44.
I’d also suffered with vaginal dryness & after seeing 4 different GPs prescribing various treatments over 2 years I saw one who mentioned HRT (my periods stopped aged 46)
After discussing my story she explained my body was 10 years ahead of my actual age, having gone through an early menopause from 39 & prescribed HRT aged 51.
My story is not unique however I believe had the initial GP recommended I persevered with HRT in the early years I may not be suffering as much with constant neck & shoulder pain as I do now. I struggle to dry my hair with a heavy hairdryer but manage this with Pilates & yoga.
My GP has suggested I come off HRT now (age 53) however we’re in discussion and review this every 6 months.”

“Going through peri menopause / menopause was horrendous. And years and years out of my life. Going to the doctors crying I don’t know what is wrong with me and being given anti depressants. Not aware it was menopause related. Heavy periods where I would be soaked with blood in work and taking in changes of clothes. One flight from India and I felt everything come away from me. I managed to get spare clothes out my hand luggage and I was in the toilet absolutely not able to stop the bleeding from running away with me which may have been not helped by the air pressure ....... who knows, not me But was one of the worst experiences I have ever had. I didn’t know enough about symptoms to know any better. Exhaustion sleepless nights and brain fog doesn’t and the feeling of tiredness. Overwhelming tiredness.
I didn’t go on HRT as all I knew about it was it is a risk of getting breast cancer!! Well at 62 I was diagnosed with oestrogen based breast cancer. First thing they said is “did you take HRT”. No I bloody never I felt like screaming and I suffered for years and still got bloody breast cancer. I’m not sure what was worse the diagnosis or the realisation I may have suffered for nothing!!!
Well now two years later and I’m on Antrozole to take out the oestrogen - what’s left of it out of my body to reduce the risk of my breast cancer coming back. Bloody hell im going through the menopause symptoms again and at this moment in time it’s 2.46am. I have been signed off work as I was like crazy employee of the year. Changes in our ICT system was like the last tipping point to my meltdown as not enough communication together with not enough time to work it out with brain fog the inevitable happened I broke down on the phone to my doctor. I am a wreck who is trying to cover up being a wreck and cos I am trying to function for the sake of everyone I feel like my inside is screaming.
Please Davina in your quest to raise this profile also include us BC patients on tablets to take out the oestrogen and get doctors to give me and fellow sufferers the percentage of risk of reoccurrence vs no tablets and quality of life. Or maybe alternatives. Let us have the information to make informed choices. I am so please you have raised this issue and as we all live longer and our daughters will benefit from what you are doing and raising the awareness.
Ps the Julia Bradbury documentary on her breast cancer was also brill and I would like to know what research she has done on the tablets as I think she may have had the same diagnoses and be put on tablets as she mentioned this at the very end of the documentary.
You are such a star for raising this profile and also other ladies in the media who are supporting this. Let’s hope it makes the difference. Thanks you.”

“I am a partner in a large law firm, deeply experienced in what I do. My colleagues enjoy a laugh at my expense when my memory fails me and are completely oblivious to the impact perimenopause might be having, notwithstanding various awareness raising initiatives by HR. Disappointingly, this includes younger female colleagues. I worry there’s something wrong with my brain. It’s humiliating and I am seriously considering leaving the law.”

“I was becoming crippled by migraines, insomnia, emotional lability, rosacea and brain fog. I also had to start taking leave from work around my cycle as I had such heavy, painful periods I couldn’t do my job. It took a private doctor to take the time to diagnose me - I’d been told I was depressed, one even blamed the pandemic on making me stressed.
I also had young children and a terminally ill mother. I eventually got onto HRT - and am now working full time again. I had been told over and over it couldn’t be perimenopause as I was still having regular periods - including by the women’s health specialist nurse at my surgery. Despite these periods having no meaningful pattern and ranging from 3 days to 12. I was lucky to be able to go private - I expect I would still be fighting for help if not.”

“I had a total hysterectomy in 2019 and within 2 months everything fell apart the symptoms are horrendous I cannot function and I feel like I am trapped in a strangers body. The weight gain is horrific and I can’t do much exercise because of the horrible agonising pain I’m in all over it’s a terrible cycle. I started HRT a year ago but still do not feel right so I’m guessing I may need to try another maybe a patch as I’m using the gel 0.5mg but if I take more my mood takes a serious hit so I’m a bit stuck. I’ve also recently been prescribed testosterone which has helped a little so far but I know I have a long way to go. I have a supportive GP I’m very lucky but women really need much much more I have found the whole experience debilitating I think I have the majority of the symptoms on the massive symptom list. I just don’t see why women have to struggle for what should be a necessity for us all. I look in the mirror every day and wonder who that is staring back at me I honestly did not know how bad it could be so more education for everyone from certainly high school age would help.”

“I had both ovaries removed aged 49 due to endometriosis and cysts. HRT was never mentioned so I asked the consultant if I could have some. After a lot of deliberation he agreed but said I must stop taking it at age 51. This was only 2 years ago and the consultant mentioned runs a private menopause clinic. Unbelievable!”

“I started to get debilitating migraines (without aura) at the age of 38. I went to my GP. He didn’t mention anything about hormones, the menopause or HRT. He just gave me sumatriptan. Then he wanted to give me a migraine preventative (beta blockers) but I refused. I just suffered migraines for 6 years until I started HRT, prescribed by a private clinic because my GP said I was “too young” at 43yo for it to be peri-menopause. The migraines instantly stopped.

By this time, I also had brain fog, felt jet-lagged constantly, had a faint ringing in my ears often, couldn’t read or concentrate on anything, was waking up at 4am every night, covered in sweat, had no libido, had vaginal dryness and atrophy, had heart palpitations in the evenings, and had joint pain if I didn’t move for a while and especially in my hands at night, had flatulence and constipation which had caused piles and a fissure, had dry eye (diagnosed by optician) and fatigue.

What did my GP do? He referred me to a rheumatologist for the joint pain. The rheumatologist did a CCP test for rheumatoid arthritis which was negative.

I saw another GP at the same surgery. She gave me local estrogen for the vaginal symptoms but she would only offer me HRT if I had a Mirena coil fitted - because I have a history of mild endometriosis. I didn’t want a coil.

So I went to the Newson Clinic. I immediately got prescribed Estradot, utrogestan and testosterone.

I have my old self back. ALL of the symptoms have miraculously disappeared - except for the joint pain and constipation, but we are still getting the dosage right at the moment.

I will stay with private treatment now. It is expensive but I don’t trust the health service.”

“I am now 66 years old and bitterly regret not fighting harder to go onto HRT after being consistently denied it over the years.by my (male) GP. Crippling anxiety. palpitations, aching joints, flushes, loss of confidence in my job, mood swings, the lot. Too late for me now, but I am advising my daughter to get onto it as soon as she can - she's 46 and getting severe symptoms.”

“Hi I started having symptoms around 45 and didn’t know what was happening to me. After a lot of self research I thought it must be down to the perimenopause however I wasn’t sure so of course went to my doctor. After some tests for lots of potential things such as allergies vitamin deficiencies etc which showed nothing they offered me antidepressants. I felt sure that wasn’t what I needed and to cut a long story short seeker out some private medical help. Best money I have ever spent! After going on estrogen and progesterone most of my symptoms went away. Fast forward a couple of years and I am struggling again. Another trip to see a private specialist and tweak to my estrogen and some testerone has changed my life! My brain fog has practically disappeared and I feel sharp again! I truly believe the testerone has made all the difference! It’s outrageous that this isn’t something that is readily available to all women.”

“I approached my (female) GP to ask about HRT 2 years ago. I was told that if she prescribes me HRT I will be coming to her in the future asking why I have breast cancer and she will reply ‘because you had HRT’. I abandoned the idea of HRT and have suffered hideous symptoms.”

“I was having all the symptoms that I now know to be classic menopause - anxiety, hot flushes, low mood, brain fog were my main symptoms . GP did not recognise it as menopause - even though I was 51 but as I was still having the occasional period she said she could only offer me antidepressants . I did not want to go down that route so I struggled on, feeling worse and worse for 3 more years. Then I saw Davina’s documentary and felt empowered enough to go back to my GP and ask for HRT. I have been on the patches for 9 months and it has helped me so much. Thank god for Davina and all the people educating us on HRT.”

“Hi everyone. I’m a daughter and mother to two beautiful girls. I work as a nurse and am surrounded by women but was hit by the menopause completely unprepared. I was blissfully unaware of the signs of the menapause until it overwhelmed me. Sudden and extremely heavy bleeding, developing acne etc. I actually only went to the doctors when I was having such bad night sweats, migraines and and felt pain in my vagina. I thought I had cancer.
My doctor examined me and thought there was nothing at all wrong but advised if I were worried I should attend the sexual health clinic. At fifty years old I thought I must have some dormant sexually transmitted disease or cancer…… I took myself off to the clinic hoping nobody would see me and had a full and embarrassing examination to be then told it was just vaginal dryness as I was menapausal. I was then advised to go back to my gp armed with this knowledge. I now have a Mirena coil and oestrogen gel. I have the old me back. I freely talk about the mRNA pause now and hope my daughters are not met with the attitude of ‘well I got through it without help’ which I have often heard from other women. Let’s all help each other.”

“I have a list of symptoms as long as your arm. I asked my gp to test me a few years ago for diabetes, thyroid & had a 24hr heart monitor from the hospital. I've also been told I have arthritis in my hands. Im nearly 55yrs old & it has never been suggested to me that it could be the menopause. I truly felt like a hypochondriac but just knew I didn't feel well. All the recent exposure has encouraged me to see the nurse about it all. I've just got to get my BP under control & then I will be starting on patches. I am really looking forward to getting a life back & feeling well again. Thanks for all the hard work your all putting into this campaign. I can't believe how many women out there feel just like me!!”

“Hello I am 52 last year I had DCIS pre cancerous breast cells. I had a lumpectomy and cells removed it was intermediate and main lymph node removed. I had the all clear but as with all cancer tests and surgery it left me anxious.
My broker had passed away at the some time, I reached out to my doctors a male doctor replied here’s some leaflets, I asked about help for menopause I had so many debilating symptoms - he emailed me some help as in find it didn’t help.
So 2020 annual mammogram triggered health anxiety saw my female GP as she’s a women I thought she would be empathic but she isn’t.
Said take antidepressants as I have life effecting anxiety depression and panic attacks and 90% menopause symptoms - I thought I had a brain tumour mouth cancer as kind as pins and needles in hand and foot and burning mouth syndrome. I can barely leave the house.
Female GP : I said I can’t take antidepressants I’ve ibs I won’t be able to go out as upset stomach and hate antidepressants her reply was it’s short lived upset stomach. So I said I don’t want them as libido will go she replies
“ You won’t want sex anyway with your anxiety so it doesn’t matter ‘’
I then said I think all this is menopause you refuse me HRT as DCIS and it’s pre cancerous I’ve asked for help already and she simply turns round and says to me
‘’ You HAVE to find your OWN help for menopause ‘’
My story will be similar to all us poor ladies who can’t have HRT many with cancer history who are let down by dreadful doctors who don’t care and make us feel we are wasting their time.
I read how dangerous it is for those on HRT who can’t get their supplies about how they can’t live a life as menopause symptoms what about us ladies that can’t have HRT as other reasons mainly cancer ?
I need this to get out there as someone needs to help us ladies who just get told to diy help.
I can barely function atm I’ve researched loading £75 for a private menopause nurse for advice.
We need someone to stand up for us - us women who have been left to deal with this and can’t have HRT it’s bad for those who haven’t had cancer etc needing HRT can you imagine being told did your own hope after cancer and living with a cancer experience?”

“Looking back I had had symptoms for years, arching joints, fatigue, disturbed sleep, anxiety, loss of confidence.
I ended up having panic attacks and taking a demotion at work.
I had been to the doctors with various symptoms but no one mentioned that they might be peri-menopause.
During the pandemic it slowly dawned on me that everything I was experiencing were peri-menopause symptoms.
The final straw was vertigo -I started serious research, found Menopause not Mad website and made an appointment at my GP armed with all the info and prepared for being dismissed but thankfully I had an appointment with a younger female GP who was very knowledgeable and supportive, within 10 minutes I was picking up me prescription at the pharmacy.
That was nearly a year ago, I am a completely different person, I have my confidence back, brain fog gone, I sleep well, my libido is back and I feel joy.”

“Looking back I had had symptoms for years, arching joints, fatigue, disturbed sleep, anxiety, loss of confidence.
I ended up having panic attacks and taking a demotion at work.
During the pandemic it slowly dawned on me that everything I was experiencing were peri-menopause symptoms.
The final straw was vertigo -I started serious research, found Menopause not Mad website and made an appointment at my GP armed with all the info and prepared for being dismissed but thankfully I had an appointment with a younger female GP who was very knowledgeable and supportive, within 10 minutes I was picking up me prescription at the pharmacy.
That was nearly a year ago, I am a completely different person, I have my confidence back, brain fog gone, I sleep well, my libido is back and I feel joy.”

“Was told initially I was too young to be peri menopausal so was put on anti depressants, put on 2 stone in 2 months which made me feel worse…3 years later just had total hysterectomy. Was discharged with no advice or HRT, contacted doctor a month after op to be told they won’t give it to me must go back to surgeon! It took me 6 months of going backwards and forwards to finally get a prescription which once I put in was told it’s out of stock. All the time I’m tearful, not sleeping, having night sweats, losing my hair, skin has gone dry and the brain fog is soooo bad I go to bed because I cannot cope with anything or remember anything. Why is it so hard?”

“5 years ago, I went to my doctor with irregular periods, she told me to try at John's wort and evening primrose oil. I bought that for over a year, it didn't really do anything but cost me money to buy these things from Holland and Barrett.
A year later, my husband told me one day that I hadn't been myself for a while which coincided with someone at work asking if I was OK as I hadn't contributed and was quiet. I know I felt that I wasn't good enough or wouldn't contribute anything useful so I googled those feelings and kept reading about depression. I went back to the doctor who then wanted to check for vitamin d deficiency and told me menopause was a natural process. As it happens, I was vit d deficient, as are most people in the UK in winter so I got told to take vit d and I was given anti depressants to help with my hot sweats at night. I now know, all a misdiagnosis and I didn't take the anti depressants as I knew I didn't want to be on them.
A friend told me about the Newson Menopause Clinic in Stratford so I decided to book there. It's expensive so I waited until we had some money but it was the best thing I could have done. They listened, confirmed my symptoms as peri-menopausal and I started on HRT. I was unsure at first and the doctor said it was totally up to me but I tried it Anna within 2 weeks, stayed to feel better. A few months later I added testosterone to my medication and that was the icing on the cake! I've not felt this good in years and will continue to take HRT for the rest is my life. I tell all my friends to research their symptoms and look at Newsons resources I've read loads myself to be able to pass on. Education is so important and I'll be educating my daughter. I've since gone back to the doctor and discussed my misdiagnosis who, in the last two years, have trained all their doctors in the menopause though Louise Newson and I'm satisfied that a misdiagnosis now is unlikely. It's so important we get good quality Education, treatment and reducing stigma.”

“For me personally, I’ve had a good ride thanks to Davina McCall and Dr Louise Newson. When the Menopause programme was first released on TV, it was around the time my physical, mental & emotional changes started on a decline. Off the back of this programme and social media platforms I have been well prepped with information. I got the app, did all my own research and when the time came when I no longer could manage my symptoms holistically, I went armed to the DR with all my evidence & research. I was initially met with ‘you are too young’ (age 48) but I pushed and saw another DR who immediately agreed to HRT and asked me if I knew what I’d like. I had already chosen exactly what HRT I wanted, because I was educated and asked a lot of women on sites and in person. I have been on HRT for 9 weeks and I am VERY happy and got results from day one. It has changed my life to have ME back again, physically, mentally & emotionally. My only hiccup in all of this process is the stress, worry & anxiety I have everyday now in the lead up to my repeat prescription, will the supply be there for me? There is simply NO way I can go back to vomiting everyday, extreme exhaustion, memory loss, brain fog, fatigue, eating x7 meals a day due to constant hunger and zero sleep because of 15-20 hot flashes a night. The return of this life fills me with complete HORROR, not to mention losing my business, my home - without earning money I can’t pay for things like a mortgage and bills. For me, no HRT means no life, no career and losing everything I’ve worked so hard to achieve in my life thus far. No HRT = NO LIFE. With all you wonderful women driving this mandate, I’m hopeful it won’t come to that 🤞🏻💫”

“My menopause journey started about a year ago I had no idea about anything it was like a lightbulb moment I started researching information on the menopause myself and realised what my symptoms were I made a telephone appointment with a doctor she gave me a website to go on decide which treatment you want then get another telephone call I did this to say it was overwhelming was a total understatement!!! I eventually made a decision got on the treatment no problem it’s been a very bumpy journey trying several different treatments thank goodness for all the information available for us to educate ourselves and help ourselves and our families
To start with I had no issues with getting my hrt treatments but it’s got so much worse it’s so scary and stressful I dread trying to get my hrt medication it should not be like this for us it’s shocking things must change now for us all they are our hormones please do not make us all fight for them things are hard enough as it is dealing with everything we deserve better and as for testosterone it’s like a swear word!!!! It should not be this way !!!! Things must change now for us all I continue my journey feeling grateful for all the tools and information we have these days to make decisions on our own health we are all warriors but this battle should not be this hard and long change needs to happen I really really hope that it does thank you for reading”

“After being referred to a psychiatrist and psychologist I was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD). I had six months as an outpatient in a very expensive mental health clinic and was prescribed Pregabalin. I quit my high paid job as I could no longer cope. Brain Fog, Depression, Crying, Panic Attacks. I suffered no hot flushes and my periods were normal at this time (51 years old). Hormone tests came back in a very good normal range (my FSH was surprisingly low for my age). I got on with it, I had no choice. My diagnosis, my medication, my sad little life with a poorly paid job as I felt I was worthless. Then I saw the Davina McCall TV programme. I phoned my GP the next day. Explained what I though was wrong (Menopause not GAD) and she fully supported me. Now off Pregabalin (I was on it five years) and thriving on Oestrogen patches, Utrogestan and Testosterone. No brain fog, no panic attacks, no crying for no reason, no Depression, just a balanced woman looking forward to her new life with her hormones back.”

“My husband left me in 2020, for another woman. He met her in lockdown and moved straight in with her 5 months later. One of his comments was that I'd become 'much more anxious'. I'd say that was one of the primary menopause symptoms I suffered. Needless to say, the other woman is younger. We had been married for 22 years. He told me the day after our wedding anniversary that he was leaving, having denied there was anyone else for months. I wonder how he'll cope when his new partner goes through the menopause.”

“I was 28 when I started having problems with my periods. I saw so many doctors and most of them said it couldn't be the menopause as I was too young, 1 just said have a hysterectomy as this will solve my problems. They just prescribed me antidepressants to try and help with the symptoms.

It took another 5 years before it was was confirmed that I had had an early menopause. I tried so many different types of tablets and 10 years ago I had a mirena coil fitted and take elleste solo 2mg. Although this has helped with my symptoms, I do still suffer from low energy and moods so take antidepressants alongside my HRT. I'm 49 now and still feel like the doctors just palm you off rather than listen to your needs.”

“I’ve been several hrt products, now on tibolone I had started at 49 hot flushes constantly kicking off the duvet
Every night restless leg syndrome- I’m 54 now
Still on hrt very low libido- working full time but it’s stressing me out I wish I could give up or
Have a part time. Finding it hard to concentrate
Forgetfulness is really rife at the moment
I don’t talk about it with my husband as I don’t feel comfortable and it makes me feel old
Hate this menopause 🤨”

“With the benefit of hindsight and education through this and other sites such as menopause doctor, I realise I was going through peri menopause for 8 years before actually stopping my periods. In that time I had what I now know are typical symptoms such as dry itchy skin, brain fog, increased migraines and joint pain. I visited my gp with these symptoms suspecting menopause but was told I was “probably over using thyroxine”. I had a total thyroidectomy in my early 30s. I argued that I had been advised by the surgeons who treated me at that time had said when I was menopausal I should be referred back to endocrinologists. I asked for this but explicably I was referred to a rheumatologist who couldn’t understand why he was examining me but at least was able to prescribe drops for my dry eyes. Five years later and with increasing symptoms and now erratic periods I started to have hot flushes and revisited my gp who again said it was probably because my thyroxine was too high and reduced my dose. A year on and struggling with low thyroxine levels and increasing conviction I was now menopausal I returned to my gp to ask for HRT without knowing what I should have or understanding much about my options. I explained how slow, overweight and unhappy the low thyroxine was making me feel, along with up to 40 severe hot flushes a day, poor sleep, all the other symptoms and now no periods. I had another lecture about thyroxine and was offered anti depressants which I rejected out of hand as I was not depressed. I finally managed to get a referral to endocrinologists who confirmed my thyroxine dose should be put back up and that I was menopausal. I struggled on with hot flushes and brain fog affecting my work decisions and ability to perform especially in meetings. If I was ever on the back foot or challenged on something I found myself unable to think quickly enough to form a meaningful reply. Something which had never been an issue previously. This led to some very critical and highly personal feedback which crushed my self confidence at work despite being in a senior leadership role. The crunch came when I was in a meeting to dismiss a colleague and was so overcome with hot flushes - red sweating and breathless - that the subject of the meeting was more concerned about me than about the end of their employment. Immediately after that meeting I went to my gp in tears to beg for HRT. I was given an appointment with a different doctor who seemed to know more than the others and was amenable. I was prescribed evorel conti patches as by now I was over a year without periods. They have been life changing mostly in the reduction of hot flushes and improved quality of sleep. Brain fog is better but not gone and my skin hair and eyes are still horrifically dry. I haven’t been able to wear contact lenses for 7 years now due to the dryness of my eyes. I’m sure my hips have suffered from the delay in receiving HRT as I have constant pain. However I can now function as a mother, a manager ( in a new role) and a person thanks to the HRT patches”

“I felt a shadow of the person I once was. I had no confidence and at times felt paralysed by unexplained anxiety. I thought I was losing my mind. It impacted my job in a senior role. The memory loss and brain fog were crippling and compounded the problem. But I had no physical symptoms. No hot flushes or night sweats. A nurse wanted to put me on antidepressants. I told her it wasn’t depression and anxiety, it was menopause. I had to tell her, not the other way around. It got to the point where I really wanted to end my life as I saw no future. Triggered my the death of a Caroline Flack, I thought it was my only way out. I got support from the incredible Diane Danzebrink (MakeMenopauseMatter) who reassured me that my instincts were right and gave me much needed knowledge and guidance about hrt. That helped me take control of my doctor appointment. I started the patches / pills and it changed my life. My old self returned within two weeks. I couldn’t believe the diffference in energy levels, brightness and joy for life again. Even acid reflux disappeared. Bizarre! The benefits far outweigh the risks and I would say to anyone considering hrt, don’t give it a second thought, just do it. Oestrogen is the glue that holds us women together and when we start to lose it, things unravel in our bodies as a result of oestrogen deficiency. So treat the deficiency and get yourself back on track. Hold your doctor to account, arm yourself with knowledge and ask for want your want and need.”

“I’m 53.
At 39 I had a total hysterectomy. I had no idea what to expect afterwards and absolutely no one to speak to. Luckily my surgeon put me straight onto the gel. A lifesaver. But, I had no idea who or what I was doing. It was a choice as I’m also on the breast cancer watch list due to family history and even they weren’t so sure what I should do. A mine field. But, thanks to you, your programming and the awareness you are creating it is feeling more of a normal experience than abnormal, which it was for me those years ago. X”

“Nov 2020 started to feel like words got stuck in my head and wouldn't come out. Started to doubt I'd covered documents correctly at work and generally felt anxious. Started with explosive diahorrea every morning and loss of appetite. Put it down to lockdown fatigue. Anixety got worse and weight loss was extreme. GP DID tests and recommended anti depressants. I refused I've never had anixety before in my life. They offered CBT on line, which I accepted. Made adjustments myself at work and home to try to manage as my anixety turned to ruminating worrying and OCD checking everything. Lost confidence in my ability at work. Constantly checking I was doing things right, and needed reassuring. October 2021 after seeing Davina programme i realised what was going on. GP who was male said he wouldn't prescribe HRT as he thought the risks too high, and maybe a lady doctor would think differently, he recommended if I felt no better by the end of the year to make an appointment with a lady GP. November 2021 melt down during the night hit me from no where. I booked counselling with work that didn't help. Did meditation which helped a little but not fully. Finally demanded HRT and took a list of symptoms after reading up on it myself and using balanced app. HRT prescribed but it wasn't ideal, tablet form and aniexty returns on certain days in cycle. Review with GP who said take another 3 months or tell me what you want. (How was I supposed to know) paid for a private BUPA appointment and was prescribed patches and Ustrogestrone. Took it to GP for prescription and 2 months in I can say I'm much better. 18 months and only just starting to feel like myself again. Luckily I could afford a private appointment. Others can't!”

“I had to change my job due to the complete and utter loss of confidence in my own ability. The stress of this went on for months. I saw one GP who offered me antidepressants for my total loss of any joy in life. I felt completely flat for eighteen months until one day I realised that something had to change otherwise I wasn’t going be here anymore. I went to see another GP who was also reluctant to give me HRT but at the second appointment finally agreed. Not sure why she was so reluctant to prescribe it. Lack of knowledge perhaps but by then I’d done my own research. Even then though the patches sat in my kitchen for three months! I was scared to start it! But once I did start with HRT patches it was completely and utterly life changing. Within a week or two I could feel my mood lifting and I am now able to cope with life. I have been on the patches for eight months now. I also have a coil due to bleeding non stop for six months in 2019. I want things to improve for my daughters when they get to this stage in life as it is utterly unbelievable in this day and age that there’s so much lack of knowledge around the subject of menopause! Thank goodness there are people raising awareness.”

“I found it and are still finding it extremely hard to get any help from my doctor , I eventually , after giving up my job of 16 years , got hrt but still I’m not right , I mentioned giving up my job as I don’t think I meant too , it was the dreaded menopause, my hrt needs tweaking as I’m still not right but I can’t get to see my doctor and just clinging on to the little bit of sanity I’ve got left , I can’t remember being normal , I’m crabby most of the time and so lethargic that I can’t move some days , sometimes I worry that can it be hormones that are doing all this to me … got no one to talk to it about as I feel pathetic some days.”

“I am a former HR Director. I left my job, I had a total breakdown. I have all what I now know to be peri menopausal symptoms. I’ve had to go privately to get a prescription for the HRT that suits me. It’s been over 4 years and while I feel so sad for myself that I’ve had every symptom and just got on with it, what I can’t get back is the time with my family. My then 15 now 19 witnessed her Mum at her worst and it’s so awful the impact it has on your relationships. I’m really fortunate that my husband is really supportive. I still don’t have the confidence to go back to work. I have to pay £10 a bottle for Oestregel privately. I am so grateful to every “celeb” who has highlighted this along with amazing medical people such as Louise Newson and Naomi Potter. I’m not mad but feel still like a different person. I’m not me.”

“I was one of the lucky ones, I sailed through my menopause without noticing it. So many friends have suffered and are still suffering. Thank goodness the world has woken up to the fact HRT should be as available as contraception”

“Menopause does not affect women in later age only. It affects young people too. I’ve been on a menopause since I was 14 years of age. (I have premature ovarian failure). I’ve been on several different HRT’s. The one I current take keeps running out. I’ve been suffering in silence. It’s not something you can speak out to friends and family when they don’t understand what you’re going through. Body ache, no period, legs aches, hip aches, hot flushes, vagina dryness. I’ve been embarrassed and humiliated by doctor surgery receptions and pharmacies staff when I was on my teen asking why I’ve been prescribed XXX medication. (I’ve seen specialists at the hospital.) This was when I was a teen. Now I’m 37 years now, just getting on with it. Being childless, infertile wasn’t my choice. Childfree is.”

“I’m currently 38 and have been battling with my GP for 18 months. My family history of the last three generations going through menopause in their late 30s means nothing. The brain fog, itchy skin, memory loss and repeating the water infections mean nothing. My dry eyes, dry vagina, dry skin mean nothing.
The constant headaches, digestion issues, night sweats and palpitations mean nothing.
The fact I have a very challenging career and sometimes forget my staff members names means nothing.
Blood test after blood test, scan internal and out, smear after smears
No one is listening to me
I’m having periods , yes I know but irregular and very different to how they have ever been before
This doesn’t matter, none of this matters because my blood tests are “normal” my hormone levels are “normal”
Sent home again , fobbed off again, struggling again!
Depression and low mental health, ruining my life.”

“I started the menopause at the age of 38; I am now 50 next week. I can't really remember much about the start of it, only that I was put on the contraceptive pill, which obviously masked all menopause symptoms. As I got older I decided I did not want to be on the pill anymore. My symptoms were horrendous; terrible night sweats, flushes, low mood, anxiety, suicidal.
My periods had completely stopped so I was put on HRT. It stopped all menopause symptoms and I was happy again.......this was only for a few months until I started bleeding. This bleeding would last for weeks. I went for scans time after time but showed nothing. I stopped HRT and bleeding stopped but menopause symptoms soon came back and I could not cope with them. Doctors tried me on sll sorts of HRT but every time I would bleed constantly. I am still in this situation at the moment. I have recently had to stop HRT again and, yet again, can't cope with the symptoms.
All my GP says is "you are a medical mystery" but they don't seem to be trying to find out why this is happening. This is also causing problems with my relationship.
12 years of going through this and the GP's do not seem to care.”

“Have been getting angrier, more irritated by small things, & so frustrated with the people I work with. So much so, that I'm actually in trouble & have been reported to HR (it's a large corporation). It's come as a massive smack in the face that it's the perimenopause. My partner said he's noticed my mood, motivation, lack of sleep for the past few years, but felt that I had to come to the realisation myself. It's only on seeing people like Davina & Mariella speaking up that I have figured any of this out. First Drs appointment is next week, thank gods I have so much more information I can take with me, as opposed to what my Mum went through.”

“I’m 56. At 39 I started my peri-menopause. It took 6 months to persuade my GP to do a blood test but they did. I was given the risks of HRT but wanted it. I had 2 little boys and was a single mum with a very demanding job. I told no one. It was a life saver though and enabled me to keep my job and be a decent mum.
I’ve had lots of UTIs during my menopause and recently after being rushed to A&E because I was urinating blood, I finally got diagnosed with vaginal atrophy and also use a vaginal pessary along with daily oestrogen and progesterone. It changed my life as I’d be in a pretty bad way for a couple of years.
So I guess my story regarding HRT is not too bad, but the shame! Especially the vaginal atrophy. One of the biggest issues for me is that since being diagnosed as peri-menopausal at 39 I’ve not dated. I’ve now been single longer than I was married (hugely poor relationship history) and can’t imagine inflicting myself on anyone. Who’s ever want me? The whole lack of support over the past 16 years has taken all sorts of tolls and whilst it’s all too late for me, I really hope there’s support for others. I’d love to think there would more support to help women who are in a similar position to me back then, so that they feel they can date and be more comfortable in their skin”

“As an advanced nurse practitioner in general practice with a special interest in menopause and womens health my heart breaks daily when I speak to women and they tell me how they have and are suffering with menopause symptoms but feel the gave not been listened to and have been unable to access appropriate treatment and support. I am also a peri menopausal woman and am frustrated that my needs are not met by my own practice and have been told for testosterone I will have to be referred to a menopause specialist.
The current HRT shortage has led to an increase in the workload of both myself and our practice clinical pharmacists to find alternatives for patients who are already settled on their HRT and have to, once again, go through the struggle to find their balance again. I have also personally been affected by the shortage and am unable to access my own HRT treatment
I am passionate about advocating for women in menopause and am so grateful for the MPs, celebrities and clinicians who are making a stand and making a difference”

“I started having hideous joint pains 18 months ago. My elbows and wrists were constantly so painful and really affected my work and life - I was in pain when I slept and often in agony when I was awake. I had 6 months of physio, an MRI scan, x-rays - and everything came up fine. The pain was constant and agonising. and I could barely walk my dogs or use a phone or computer mouse. I eventually heard Dr Louise Newson talking about joint pain being a major symptom of menopause and it clicked!!! I am 52, periods have stopped, why did nobody think that it might be menopause? A load of reading by me, a great discussion with my supportive doctor, and HRT almost totally got rid of the pain. And some of the other symptoms that I just thought were a part of aging I had to accept.”

“11 and 1/2 years ago I had an ovary removed whilst pregnant in an emergency operation due to a benign tumour causing a torsion.
Fast forward 10 and 1/2 years and I find myself having massively heavy periods which are irregular, painful, making me ill and I generally feel miserable. Cue sweats, feeling like I'm burning up, forgetting what basic items are called, mixing up names (my daughter regularly gets called Alexa and vice versa), a massively decreased sex drive (to the point that it is causing issues) and dryness. I am 42.

I approached the doctors to speak to them, they insisted I'm too young. I calmly explained I only had one ovary, my mother went into early menopause and there must be something which can be done to check. Again, the doctor insisted I was much too young. They decided the best course of action was an internal scan as there must be something else wrong. I had this scan which I found tough as it was in the same room my torsion was found and bought all of that trauma up again.

Needless to say it came back clear. I approached the doctor again who insisted I was too young again but eventually agreed I could have a blood test. I then had to await for my now irregular and horrid period to have the test. I waited and when it came I had the blood test. The results the doctor tells me are those of someone who is menopausal. Great I thought, finally we are getting somewhere. No!! I am still too young and I need a second test with the same results before they will do anything.
It is so upsetting as I have jumped through so many painful, undignifying and triggering hoops to get to this point.”

“I had an emergency c section in November 1988, at the age of 17 I had my daughter. I was left too long in labour through the doctors fault. After 18 hours in labour I was rushed to theatre and my daughter was born safely. 6 1/2 hours later I came out of theatre and went straight into intensive care.

At the age of 21 after 13 operations I had a full hysterectomy. I was then put on many different HRT meds which did not help. I was then put onto a HRT oestrogen implant which has been amazing and lasts 5 months, but I do not need to take a tablet or a patch my body takes what it needs daily. I had no choice with my hysterectomy but I will fight to have a normal life. After all, the male Dr who made a mess of me to begin with, his life is not affected. My daughter is 33 she is my best friend I will be 51 next month and I am not giving up without a fight, if this was a drug for a man then there would be no shortage.”

“I’ve been going through the menopause for more than 10 years. When I reached 60 my doctors stopped prescribing HRT for me even though my symptoms got worse. So for the past 4 years I’ve just had to cope and ‘get on with it.”

“I’m 43 years of age. On reflection my menopause started around three years ago, I knew nothing about it, maybe if I had I would have gotten help sooner. I went to my GP over those three years with palpitations, heavy and irregular bleeding, suicidal thoughts and generally only feeling ok one week of the month. No one ever mentioned the peri-menopause to me. Only through Louise Newson was I able to educate myself and get the treatment I needed.

I have paid privately for my prescription for the past year as my GP would not prescribe it to me due to my age and his general lack of knowledge around peri menopause. With the help of the balance app I have tracked my symptoms and for the first time have had solid evidence for the GP to show that my symptoms have vastly improved with HRT. To begin with when I showed him the symptoms reduction he still would not prescribe my HRT. I have had to fight and fight but finally I have been prescribed it on the NHS.

Women know their bodies, the GPs need to listen and more training is required around the peri menopause and menopause. I honestly think the balance app and Newson clinic saved my life, I can’t bare to think of the consequences for those that cannot afford to pay privately, it’s a scandalous situation that needs to improve immediately.”

“I had a total hysterectomy 7 years ago after battling with severe endometriosis for most of my teenage and early adult life. I was put into surgical menopause immediately after my operation and have struggled with my physical and mental health ever since.

I was fortunate enough to have medical insurance that covered me to have the operation but I have battled with my GP to get regular consistent HRT. I have to contact my gynaecologist each time the GP has refused to help me or told me to go private again!
I am now waiting, alongside many other women, for the gel to come back into stock as I have been prescribed this by by gynaecologist to help me, since the previous HRT I have been on is no longer working.

It affects my day to day life. I’m only 39 and have been dealing with this since I was 32.
None of my friends are currently menopausal and it’s very hard for people to understand how you feel, and I get questioned as I’m considered too “young” to have the menopause.
It’s massively impacted my day to day life and I have missed a few weeks off work in the last few years due to anxiety and brain fog, it’s utterly exhausting at times and I feel that women in menopause are not offered the correct treatment and support.

If a woman is pregnant, she is offered as much help as possible, I appreciate it’s not exactly the same but there is so much help available for pregnancy, but not for a women in menopause, who is hormonal and also needs support. It needs to change and I’ll do anything I can to help it.”

“I have suffered from migraines (classic migraine – one-sided blindness in an eye, hypersensitivity to light and noise, vasodilation of blood vessels in the brain, stiff neck, etc.) since I was in primary school – it runs in my mother’s side of the family.

But despite the excruciating pain I, nothing could prepare me for what lay ahead during menopause. Migraines that once lasted one to two days at most during childhood, were now stretching up to five days long, and the pain was infinitely worse. Much of the time I was bed-ridden. It was also accompanied by extreme nausea, loss of balance, and at one point I began to thinking I was suffering from some form of early onset dementia - I was struggling to think coherently. One thing I’ve seemed to escape has been the hot flushes. Hopefully, it will still that way.

As I’m a physiologist (neuro) – and when I had my neuro head on – I realised it was most probably the product of menopausal changes. However, it made the sudden memory losses no less exasperating; fingers crossed I am now emerging from the worst side of it, and feel more like my old self again.

This whole experience has lasted around three and a half to four years and hopefully I am now making a full recovery – I will be able to do the humble things I enjoyed doing before the storm arrived e.g., walking in the park; meeting up with friends, being able to sit at my computer or simply relax with a book.

I wouldn’t wish this on anyone – and if you are suffering, seek help. I have never been prescribed any medication: keep pushing for help.”

“I had to have an early hysterectomy and so I need HRT patches. Now, months on they are struggling to give me patches. The chemist don’t have them, the doctor won’t supply the prescription without an appointment, but I can’t get an appointment to see the doctor, and all the time I’m suffering from hot flushes, low moods, feeling tired and generally unwell. All because of no HRT patches. Some male doctors don’t understand how no HRT affects us ladies.”

“Forced myself to take a sabbatical as felt total burn out from my primary school teaching position. Struggled with insomnia, anxiety, exhaustion and low moods. Couldn’t afford it financially but couldn’t afford not to for my sanity. Taken on a p/t nanny job which suits me so much better. Need to decide whether to return to school in a couple of weeks for September term and cannot see me being able to function successfully in a f/t all day busy and hectic school job role. The woman I knew and loved was energetic, fit, sociable, fun and positive however the woman I am now is a stranger- I am constantly tired, dull, unsociable, despondent, unfit. The roller coaster from being on HRT is a work in progress, hopefully. Just want to recognise the woman that stares back at me in the mirror.”

“My periods became irregular about 5 years ago when I was 35 and for a few years this was the only symptom of menopause I was experiencing. At the time I went to my GP who sent me for blood tests and a pelvic scan to rule out anything else, results came back normal so was told there’s nothing to worry about.
I’d also explained from the start that my mum & Nan both went into early menopause.
After a few years I started to get other symptoms like hot flushes, hair loss, inability to lose weight, itchy skin, insomnia and anxiety to name a few, so I went back to my GP who again sent me for blood tests and a pelvic scan. The bloods showed changes in my hormone levels so I was told to have regular blood tests every 3 months to monitor this as they weren’t happy to prescribe HRT as I was quite young. After much fighting I was referred to a private clinic (as an overspill from the NHS) who specialised in women’s health but after only one appointment with them which produced normal hormone levels (I was going through a good spell, for a few months the hot flushes had subsided somewhat) I was discharged because we were at the start of the covid pandemic and it wasn’t an emergency. This was the start of two years of what felt like a complete and utter struggle. The menopause symptoms started getting worse, my periods had pretty much stopped and I was dealing with so much stress, sleep deprivation, serious money worries & home schooling a 5 and 12 year old. I was experiencing what I can only describe as blind rage and no patience (another charming menopause symptom) and just feeling awful, with no help whatsoever!
It has taken 5 years overall of pushing & fighting with my GP for blood tests & appointments. In January this year, a week before my 40th birthday, I got a long awaited appointment with a consultant at the hospital who prescribed me HRT after no further testing, he just listened to me and what I was going through.
I’m feeling loads better and have a follow up appointment next month but it really shouldn’t be this difficult to get help! Menopause training for all GPs should be mandatory.”

“Due to a partial hysterectomy at 42 I knew I wouldn't have the signs of stopped periods to alert me to menopause, but knew it was likely to occur within 5 years. I didn't have any idea what the wider symptoms were and I didn't recognise the signs of perimenopause but retrospectively realise that all those joint aches and intense bouts of ennui were almost certainly connected. I went to the GP when I couldn't stop crying at work. I always cry easily but this was something else entirely. I knew 'this wasn't me'. She was very sympathetic, and also keen to point out my stressful job and recent bereavement of my father in law and suggest that the symptoms might be stress related. She suggested I take time off work or an anti-depressant. I had done my homework and went in armed with the NICE guidelines (thank you Mumsnet for linking them on your menopause forum) and was prescribed Oestrogen. Once we had tweaked the dose (I needed a lot) I felt myself again. Regular exercise, minimal sugar and minimal alcohol are also essential (damn you menopause!)”

“I work in a male dominated environment and the word menopause returns zero results on the regulatory bodies website. It doesn’t even accept it exists. I am really really scared. I know that the symptoms I could suffer will potentially make me unfit to do my job temporarily but that I have no choice but to try to carry on. It’s frightening. I can’t declare myself unfit from menopause symptoms without grave consequences….”

“I had to give up my job of 17 years as I didn't feel I had the confidence to do it anymore. I had always been a manager, managing upwards of 30 staff in a fast paced environment but didn't feel I could cope any more due to increasing issues with concentration and anxiety. Was treated with antidepressants. It is still a struggle trying to get the correct HRT and the correct dose. I have been offered another management job but still don't feel able... Not when this anxiety is still out if control”

“I starting having migraines in my mid 40’s -I kept a diary and realised they were related to my menstrual cycle. My doctor didn’t agree and gave me every drug going trying to control the migraines -beta blockers, epilepsy medication etc. Nothing worked and I spent 8 years having on average 130 migraines per year. My doctor was happy to prescribe very strong medication which helped me manage each migraine which quite honestly I couldn’t have managed without. I eventually asked for HRT once my periods stopped and was given Kliofem which clearly didn’t agree with me and caused huge problems in my family due to me becoming very unemotional and aggressive. I went back to the doctors and was seen by a young lady who told me “it’s either this or nothing” and gave me a prescription for anti-depressants. I stopped taking everything and suffered with brain fog, aches and pains, low mood etc. for years. I was diagnosed with osteoporosis at 54 years old and decided enough was enough. Thanks to Davina I found The Menopause Doctor and paid for a private consultation-it was worth every penny. The problem I have now is that I stopped using Oestrogel due to a problem with some batches and started on patches, these caused more migraines and didn’t work for me. I recently started on Lenzetto which has been great until I ran out last week and am waiting now for supplies to come back in. I changed doctors after my private appointment and my new doctor has been fabulous-she takes the time to listen to my concerns and we discuss what’s best together. She has been extremely good about the shortages and has offered to help in any way she can. Hopefully I can get some Lenzetto soon as I have had to go back to patches for now and feel dreadful. It really is worth the time and effort to change doctors and I recommend this to anyone who is being fobbed off. Thanks to Davina, Louise Newson and lots of others out there women now have the information they need to make their own choices and get their life back, let’s hope the government steps up so we can actually have the medication we need.”

“I am 59 years old. I was perimenopausal probably for a few years before I became menopausal at age 50yrs. I was frightened of taking HRT as my mother had hormone related breast cancer and HRT was said to be the cause. (she had a lumpectomy and Radiotherapy at the time and only last year again had breast cancer and had a mastectomy). I tried herbal and gadgets that were said to help, without any improvement. It was only a few years ago that Woman's Hour did a week long programme on the Menopause that I had confidence to explore Bio identical and HRT options. Some tv programmes years ago, seemed to make light of the issue and were not heavy weight factual or scientific. Thankfully, there are more recent programmes/books and discussions that have more depth/science behind them. My symptoms were affecting my life and many of the symptoms were not linked, at the time, to the menopause. Hot flushes were unbearable, affecting work and social, literally dripping with sweat regularly. disturbed sleep. itchy skin, anxiety and brain fog, I thought I was getting early onset dementia. I've subsequently discovered, the menopause may have exacerbated a recent diagnosis of ADD - there has been research in the States showing the effects this major change in hormones can have. It's unbelievable that women’s health is once again sidelined. IT MUST CHANGE, OUR GOVERNMENT MUST ACT NOW! HRT is an essential aid for women. I had to try a few different HRT options, some had bad side effects/bleeds, before being recommended the gel pump Oestrogel and oral, Utrogestan 100. This has hugely helped stop and reduce the majority of symptoms, so life is more bearable. HRT is an essential prescription, which should be made a National Formula so that everyone has access to it where ever they live. The must be a commitment to more training for Medics - we only have one menopause specialist in our county! It's not good enough.”

“Where do I start?! I hate my life now 😭 feel disconnected from everything and everyone. Only had telephone appts with Drs, been given and tried 3 different HRTs felt horrendous on all of them apparently I am super sensitive to Progesterone and when I asked if I can take it vaginally Dr was mortified and insisted NO .... i’ve given up now. Ive gone from a happy loving hard working energetic women to nothing. I used to work out 5x a week can barely manage 2 I’ve lost my zest for life my motivation Ive totally lost ME I want ME back I want to divorce my husband,(really happy loving marriage before) quit my job i worked so hard to get (food retail store manager) , i’ve lived with insomnia for over 3 years now ..... ive never felt so defeated ever .... i’m at my wits end as i just dont know what to do anymore”

“Everyone should be able to have free access to this. It can happen at all ages not just my age. Doctors don’t understand the problems even though mine started early it never helped with relationships. Ive got it now but boy the doctors or nurses have no idea how to handle a menopausal person or explain what you will go through being on it. A day at a time is all I can do. Even though they may be going through it themselves. Every single person goes through some sort of symptom. Sign the petition if anyone wants change. I have and I have no shame in saying it’s bloody hard 👍🏻 will talk to anyone about what I’ve been and going through. Make the most of your life”

“I am 49 years old. Since I was 39 I have struggled with sleep, mood swings, cyclical depression urination urgency and urinating up to 10 times a night.

I was tested for several worrying conditions: ? Ovarian cysts or ? Ovarian cancer, ? Bowel problems. I had weight gain, even when dieting, hair loss and no sleep also. I must have visited the GP more than a dozen times. I've had chest X rays, ultrasound scans on my bladder, ovaries, colon. I've been at my wit's end and no one was able to find anything to give a firm diagnosis...I was left thinking that it was all in my head and making it up !

It was just last September, 2021, age 48 & 9 years on from my first symptoms that a friend startedHRT and parts of her story resonated with me. I bought two menopause books and it was clear to me that I was in the perimenopause.. after extensive research and after reaching Rock bottom with mood swings, depression and exhaustion- I was literally desperate for a diagnosis or help.

I then had a telephone appointment with a GP at my practice. I had never met her before so to have a conversation over the phone with a stranger about very intimate, embarrassing symptoms was hard in a 5 min phone call. I told them I would like vagifem for my urinary problems and HRT...ideally gel or spray oestrogen.

I was given standard HRT patches to start with and the GP said this was the first line of treatment and that I need a follow up appointment in 3 months.

I started with patches and vagifem. The vagifem literally worked after two or three days...this was amazing! Sadly, I sank deeper and deeper I to misery and still lack of sleeping...I would say my symptoms were scarily heightened within two weeks of using these patches.

The GP had told me to wait three months but I could only manage three weeks - fortunately I was wise enough to seek further help at this point as I don't know what I should have done if I continued with how I was feeling on these patches. By the time I started the progesterone patches, I was so deep into misery and depression that 8 felt I could no longer cope.

I tried to get a GP appointment and there wasn't an appointment with a GP specialising in menopause for 8 weeks. I don't think I would have survived 8 more weeks of these patches that were deepening my symptoms further.

I did a search on the internet and found a local, private menopause clinic and promptly made an appointment. Two weeks and £130 lighter, I had had the most amazing face to face appointment with a private specialist who listened to me, reassured me, advised that I most likely had a sensitivity towards synthetic progesterones which were potentially what were making my symptoms reach crisis point. I started on Lenzetto spray, ugesterone with a review in 3 months. Within 3 weeks my mood swings were better, relationships less touchy, less depression, anger and urinating at night had really eased, constipation resolved, hair loss had stopped but still not sleeping!

I spoke with my specialist and she suggested increasing my Lenzetto during the worst periods of my lack of sleep which was the week leading up to ovulation until after my period.

Roll on 6 months and I am now in a happier place, moods sorted, no longer argumentative/raging moods, no longer depressed, however I still don't sleep 3 weeks out of four! My next review increased my Lenzetto to 4 sprays from the week leading up to ovultion until my period has started and she has now prescribed female testosterone.

Three weeks in to the new regime and testosterone: I am sleeping. 3 days into using the testosterone my inability to sleep has nearly resolved....9 years of not sleeping I am a little anxious to say this has resolved in case I jinx it but the past two weeks I have definitely slept (possibly woken once in the night for a wee).

Coupled with this new regime, I have also changed my diet through a course with a specialist menopause nutritionist and have increased my protein intake to stop me waking through the night through ? Low blood sugar.

I am still not 100% me again but I can tell you the depression, anxiety and rage ( 3 of my 4 main symptoms) have nearly resolved. Sleep I am pretty sure is on the road to recovery.

My next part to tackle is weight loss but I am sure that with testosterone now on board, my metabolism will increase and weight loss will commence - fingers crossed!

It's been a long and painful journey but I can now see light at the end of the tunnel! The sad thing is that my GP won't accept the prescription request from my specialist to prescribe me Lenzetto and ugesterone on the NHS. Sadly, I am forced to pay private prescription prices, (which on an NHS Midwife salary, it's a struggle to pay for just to feel normal and cope with life) because my GP surgery will not prescribe it based on a private Dr’s diagnosis/recommendation. I still have a battle ahead of me but because of my new HRT regime, I feel I have a little more strength to fight this fight!”

“I am a Nurse Practitioner. I have been passionate about treating the menopause for years. I am an advocate of positive women's health.
The great positive press about the menopause and HRT is heart warming. We just need the products to be available.”

“Over 20yrs ago I couldn't have hrt as they thought hrt caused blood clots I went through early menopause in my 30s I now have osteoporosis I am only 59 yrs old now it's shocking I wish I could of had hrt”

“I am 63 years young- mother to three amazing children and four beautiful grandkids 💜- nights and day sweats accompanied by heart palpitations (some times) are debilitating to say the least- there seems to be be so little information out there even on google or social media I have had days where the exhaustion is so overwhelming I just give up and either lay down or retired to somewhere in the house were I can have a good cry- the brain fog and the ‘wait a minute what was I doing’ is almost an everyday day thing- I am still working by choice as otherwise I would actually scratch walls! 😂 I should mention I choose not to take HRT - same as I said before- so little info- I just take it as a way of life.”

“I was over the moon when my periods finished but then the dreaded Menopause hit !! It’s like yay celebrate no periods and nature says hold on a minute we’re not finished with you have some more but this time we’re gonna make it a million times worse !!!!
I went to the doctor with every menopause symptom it was awful …really awful !!! He denied me any kind of help and told me to try herbal remedies I told him I’d tried them all with no luck he still said no there’s nothing we can do !!!! I suffered for 2 years until I moved to Spain went to see the doctor and got prescribed the right thing straight away !! Within a few weeks it worked and continues to work … I’ve heard so may stories from friends exactly the same being denied any help !!! WHY ???? One friend was actually suicidal and they told her no !! she had to go private .. This is so wrong on every level . No-one can understand how bad it actually is and it’s a natural thing so why are we not getting the help we deserve I mean it’s not like we asked for it !!!!”

“Elective total hysterectomy aged 41 die to cancer elsewhere and a 80% risk of female cancers. No one talked to me pre op about the effect of surgical menopause. Day2 after surgery it kicked in. Took drs.over 5 weeks to prescribe HRT that I am now struggling to get. Good luck ladies, this menopause malarky is real.”

“I had been happily on HRT for 5 years with no side effects, then out of the blue was told my HRT was no longer made and switched to another product.
This lead to a very heavy/prolonged bleed together with lumpy breasts. Thankfully both non cancerous.
I was given another HRT product and a few months later the same all happened again. So I stopped HRT completely not wishing to put myself mentally and physically through this turmoil again.
This was October 2018, I still have sleepless nights, waking up drenched in sweat, multiple hot sweats through the day and night, the stress has caused my hair to go thin and lifeless. Tiredness is an understatement.
I then found out that my original HRT “ Prempak C” was available but the NHS Trust my GP is under no longer had the funds to continue to prescribe this to me.
- Accountants on behalf of the NHS playing God with my health.”

“I am 53, a few years ago I started the classic symptoms of the menopause but at the time I didn't realise, just thought I was loosing it! I had terrible mood swings, anxiety, paranoia, feeling tired & withdrawn. I went to the doctors and explained I thought I was going through the menopause, hoping she would be sympathetic and give me advice. Quite the opposite, I was told to 'ride' it, I went away thinking that was my only option as I had no one to talk to and no one was talking about it. My symptoms continued and as it was effecting my family, I returned to the doctors, I saw another female doctor who again had no knowledge on how to help me so offered me anti depression, which I refused to take. It was only on my third attempt on visiting the doctor, on a unrelated issue, that I finally got the help I needed. He was a male doctor who told me 'I couldn't carry on like this, you need HRT' and went through all the HRT treatments, he was amazing, we agreed on the patches was the best option and I haven't looked back, I have my life back. The only sad part is that due to doctors having lack of training & knowledge, I may have got HRT sooner.”

“I have been waiting for a specialist appointment for 18 months and have had 4 hospial cancellations. Im taking HRT but need speallist advice from hospital as my GP does not have knowledge of adjustments. I currently have still severe problems that effect my working life and personal lijfe.
We need more focus on womens health for older ladies.”

“I was put on HRT patches and they were great I started to feel like me again loads of energy and all aches & pains disappeared. I'd been on them about four years when unfortunately they became hard to get( some women were buying them from abroad because of shortages here) I was persuaded to go on the HRT tablets. I'd been on them for about ten days when I had a TIA this happened a week before lockdown and for that I'm grateful as I don't think I would have got any help during lockdown and it could have been a different outcome. The consultant put the TIA down to taking HRT tablets and I'm now on statins and blood thinners for the rest of my life. Women shouldn't have to go through something as scary as this just because the powers that be were selling the patches abroad for more money.”

“I think GP’s need to go on advance courses about menopause and what they can give you. I had to go private in the end, and have had to do follow up appointments on private which hasn't been cheap as my gp had told me there was nothing more they could do with me even when I was suffer severe symptoms and also feeling suicidal over this and also to be told that she had to go as had another appointment. my private consultant has been amazing but I just can't keep paying out. also I think with work if you have to go off sick that it should come under law for the sick to be discounted”

“I starting getting migraines I felt so depleted.. I was prescribed sleeping pills from the GP she thought they would relax me. They were also used on other people as an antidepressant. Then they say to you yes you will get fat. Outrageous ! Women either have the option of the GP where one size fits all to organisations that you can never speak to anyone, maybe once every 3 months as they have become inundated and it has become a huge money spinner. Is there a perfect match or do women just just have to with their symptoms. It is cruel. Help !!!”

“HRT is life transforming with out realising ,recognising my confidence, fuzzy head ,anxiety, those although full hot flushes & then seeing a photo of myself looking very middle aged ! Spoke with woman's health GP who suggested HRT. I have never looked back.
Feel, look & now youthful ,comments “you look good” am 60 next year & never felt so good no hot flushes.
So please do not hesitate to go to your GP ,HRT is life transforming & gives you your confidence & stops that look of “a woman of a certain age“!
So don’t suffer ,life is for embracing & your sex will definitely be “on fire “ .
More than happy to pay for my NHS prescription x 3 different HRT items rather than have it free if it means you get the HRT you where prescribed rather than an alternative & as most women now have to work until 67 to received their state pension.”

“I became peri menopausal a year after I got married in 2016. I didn’t have a clue about what was happening but saw my GP for a blood test which she then confirmed but offered no support or advice. After talking to anyone I could, watching loose women, signing up to menopause matters the magazine, I educated myself and was lucky enough to see a private consultant as found on the menopause map. I’m an Indian lady and topics such as the menopause are really not openly spoken about. I recorded tv snippets where they talked about the menopause and made my husband watch them. I’m lucky that he has been very supportive but the early years were difficult for both of us. The other huge help I got was watching experts on youtube which educated me on bio identical progesterone. This stopped my bleeding which I had on the combined patch as I switched to Utrogestan tablets. Ive now just started testosterone this week. The oestrogen patch has been fantastic and again my dose has just been increased. Its been 6 years for me and I’m in a much better place. Please keep talking, find help, support and ways to alleviate your symptoms. There really is help out there.”

“I have asked my GP to go in HRT but I am 46 and cannot go on it because for past 5 months of no period and I cannot have the bleed tablet one. The other one available is for over 50•s so in the meantime I must suffer with all my symptoms which I feel I am in crisis with. I live with pain body and migraine’s and I believe that HRT or some hormonal replacement would give me a better quality of life physically and mentally. We need change.”

Without HRT I would not be here!!
HRT literally saved my life
That is all that needs to be said
For if I was a man this would never even need to be asked or these shortage problems would not exist.

“I am a 57 year old woman who nearly lost the plot and spiralled into the lowest depths of despair and agony. For the most part I have suffered in silence, ensuring to the outer world that every day was business as usual, but it was not. Beneath that smile was a woman who gradually became numb and dead to the outer world, pushing away much loved friends and family as I could not hold a conversation, I became irritated by what others would say, my brain and memory began to fail, the brain fog was constant, I was hearing things that were not being said and took it the wrong way.

Over the last two years, my body became alien to me. I was never skinny (well at birth I was as I weighed only 5 pounds!), but in my 50s my mid-rift spread a lot more, some of my hair fell out, my skin became dry and oh god I became a bearded lady - forever plucking those relentless hairs that appeared under my chin, oh and yes on my bottom! I felt undesirable and shuddered at a mere touch or embrace from my beloved husband, even though he says he desires and loves me as I am and what size I am. I would laugh at him and say the obvious that he wanted me out of desperation.

As a woman I was and still holding on to the job I really love and reserved most of my energy into preserving this - well we all need money and I am saving for retirement! But my body was fighting me at every twist and turn. Headaches, body on fire with aches and pains, sleepless nights, night and day sweats, mood swings, the exhaustion was debilitating, I could barely get from bedroom to bathroom, I was on my knees. Like most women I went to the doctors and had copious blood tests/MRI scans and other various procedures. Only to be told they all looked normal, so it is all in my head and perhaps I am depressed. No I am not depressed I said on numerous occasions. I am a woman who has everything going for her, loving husband, brilliant job and loving family. I am exasperated at having to fight symptoms night and day. I discussed with the GPs that perhaps its the beginning of the menopause, this was refuted and two years ago they declined to test for this. Even a year without periods and me asking to be put on HRT was refused - again take antidepressants said the male GP.

With this I gave up for a while and painfully soldiered on. But for a while I also did research on HRT/Menopause and thought this all makes sense, this is what is happening to me.

Well 11 weeks ago I hit rock bottom after numerous pleas with the doctor still hit on deaf ears! I began to emotionally unravel both at home and at work. At one point during what you would call a normal conversation about family finance, I felt confusion, frustration and loss which was unfounded, but completely took over me. I began to gauge deep with my nails into my own flesh from the wrist to half way up my arms, blood pouring out, frightening my husband. As for me I felt nothing but an out of body experience and a disassociation with my body and brain, I felt no pain. At that point my mind, body and spirit flatlined in that one dreadful moment. I was no longer functioning as a human being, let alone a woman.

My husband booked a visit to the GP, In front of my husband as witness I cried and begged the GP for HRT, he still insisted on giving me sertraline. Even though I knew I was not depressed I agreed to give it a try, along with the agreement that I would take time to rest, I was signed off work for 4 weeks. My body rejected this as they had not checked the other medication that I was on. I had horrendous hallucinations, the face in the bathroom mirror looking back at me, was not me, it was distorted a gargoyle and moving and speaking back to me. I was a screaming strange mess that my 23 year old daughter had to placate and settle down. She called 111 for advice - you guessed it, come off the sertraline as it was not compatible with other medications. This again warranted a conversation with my GP. I did'nt have the energy to ask why he had not checked my current medication and compatibility. Again I mentioned HRT. Oh no not yet the male GP cried, try Citilopram! Take a few more weeks off and try these. Worn out and on my knees, I agreed. Hubby dutifully arrives at the chemist to pick these up and was told - Oh no she can't have these as again they interfere with my other medications!

On the phone to the male GP again, I was told to ignore the chemist the reaction is not founded in such a small dose. At this point wearily I silently agree to proceed to purchase and take the antidepressants. I don't. I have had enough of not being listened to and I certainly was not inviting a further trip to a land of hallucination. Enough was enough and with the last effort and push in me I resolved to ignore my male GP's advice, he simply did not understand.

The following day I emailed the surgery clearly asking to be put on HRT. The request was signposted to an adjacent GP practice who run a once a month menopause clinic at my GP surgery! I was phoned by a lovely lady GP running this monthly clinic who, listened, empathised with me and agreed I should have been referred earlier. She looked at my recent blood results that clearly showed that I was in menopause. The relief of being listened to and finally believed resulted in a complete collapse of tears. The lovely GP said if she could give me a pound for every lady that has shared my experience she would be rich. She has heard the same story, many a times. Most GP's male and female have not received sufficient training on menopause and how to recognise and treat symptoms from the earliest stages.

3 weeks ago I was prescribed Estrogel and progesterone and told to use 2 pumps of Estrogel daily along with the progesterone tablet in the evening. Fantastic I thought, I have hope! But now the next battle begins, accessing the HRT. My prescription goes to ASDA. My husband tried to pick up the medication, but was told that they did not have it and would not be receiving this for a while. But I should go back to my GP and ask for something else. I can't tell you how devastated I was. I was pinning all my hopes on this, so I cried buckets of tears through exhaustion, I was defeated again from treatment. The following day I rang alternative chemists along with my husband. Several tries later we found a chemist who had Estrogel. My husband dutifully took the prescription and was told - Oh it says for two pumps, therefore you need to ask your GP to give you 2 prescriptions as we can only give you one pump per prescription as its rare to get hold of. Again we waited 2 days for a new prescription to be done and picked this up from the surgery. We successfully managed to obtain one pump, so I began to use as directed.

A week later after many other phone calls and my husband going into pharmacies around Surrey, he managed to find a pharmacy in London who gave him the other Estrogel. This should not be happening, apart from the fact that it should be readily stocked, not having it will have an effect on many a woman needing to use this.

I am 3 weeks in now using HRT, my mood is beginning to lift and I no longer feel suicidal, I know up until now I have not mentioned the S word, but I was rock bottom and at times felt that not being here was for the best. But now thank god, I feel that there is hope. By no means am I feeling like myself as it is early days yet and my lovely GP says it can take up to 3 months to begin to take full effect. But I can feel a change, be it a small glimmer.

The experience of menopausal symptoms shattered the strong person I was, I once said mind over matter, but now I believe that your health and body matter, because without that you won't have a body to put that mind in to actually matter! The whole journey to be listened to by my GP has had a detrimental effect, so much so that I shattered physically and mentally. I am slowly re-building my body, my mind and soul and I believe it is down to HRT. I am not yet strong enough to go back to work because of what has happened, I still feel broken inside, but I am slowly mending and putting the pieces of ME back together.

I know that not all of this story will read well, not make sense, I feel amongst everything else I have lost the art of stringing sentences together, but that is because I still have brain fog and some symptoms - but as I said it is still early days!

For those of you considering HRT give it a go! Fight your GP for the right to be heard, taken seriously and prescribed HRT. Stay strong. Believe in yourself and take care!”

“I was told at 19 I'd go through early menopause and it still took doctors until I was 29 to do a simple blood test to see where my Hormone levels were at. I had about 7 terrible, horrible, horrendous years of symptoms and all my GP would prescribed was antidepressants.

Finally after a breakdown at 29 they agreed to a blood test, my partner and I were trying for a baby with no luck for over 5 years. By the time they agreed to test me, I was post menopause with no period since I'd had my son at 22.

I was given 3 blood tests over 6 weeks and asked to come in to discuss the results. I know what was coming but it was still a shock, I was only 29 and my partner 26. I had the quickest discussion with my GP. Told I needed to start HRT straight away. I left with no other knowledge, support or care.

I think had to wait a year and a half to see a menopause specialist at the clinic. He saved my life. He listened to all my symptoms and that day I left that appointment with a testosterone and oestrogen implant. In the 4 years I had been on HRT I felt normalish for 4 months of them. Unfortunately that doctor retired before my next appointment and I was then referred to his nurse-led implant team. This is when things turned for the worst again.

I was giving a new specialist who did not call for my review and my implant appointment was cancelled. I cried a lot as the oestrogen implant did not last the 6 months and my symptoms where coming back. The anxiety, mood swings and insomnia being the worst. My specialist finally got in touch and agreed to change me on to patches as taking progesterone orally was making me sick daily and I had lost 2 and a half stone in weight. I told several female doctors about my weight loss to only be asked "what's your secret" no one cared. It took over a week and a half for my prescription to be emailed to my GP. I called over two days to my GP crying and asking for a emergency appointment to discuss getting my patches just so I'd start to feel a bit normal again. I was breakdown crying to the Receptionist and told it did not merit an emergency appointment. I eventually had a doctor call me back the next day, to tell me the prescription had finally turned up and she'd do it now. I was told put a patch on today(friday) and change it again on Monday. No question of my mental health and the breakdown I told Reception I was having. Got my prescription only to notice (after I'd put a patch on) she had prescribed me the wrong patches. I need progesterone every day these did not have progesterone in all of them. I called back to be told no one was available to talk to me. I was crying again telling her I could not be left like this over the weekend. A male GP called me back and told me I was prescribed the wrong medication and he thinks the other DR went with my age rather than what it said on the prescription or my file. He asked why I was aggressive to the receptionist, I told him I wasn't aggressive I was upset no one was listening to be. He hung up on me mid sentence.

I have not been back to them since this. I don't have any confidence in them anymore. I've have 1 review in 4 years on HRT. I have now changed GP practice and being sent for more blood test as now I've lost 3 stone without anything changing. My new GP seems loads more friendlier and has not tried to force me on antidepressants. I'm hoping this is a turning point in my menopause journey now.”

“I was always aware of menopause. My grandmother married a widower who was widowed because his first wife gassed herself and daughter due to untreated menopause. He arrived home and found them.
I felt decidedly under the weather. This was in 2008. My menstrual cycle was still regular but I was suffering insomnia, flushes, depression and painful joints with urinary incontinence and no libido or sexual sensations.
I went to my local NHS practice. GP reluctant to prescribe without sign off from practice gynaecologist.
She immediately refused HRT, despite my wishes to try it. I was told to take a vitamin and with some malice she scrawled no HRT in my medical records.
Things ambled along for a short while. I cried and refused to get out of bed. My husband was seriously concerned. He begged me to see a specialist privately.
Eventually I saw Another specialist having had an unfortunate experience with a female doctor offering compounded hormones.
This doctor immediately added testosterone to my prescription and raised my estradiol gel. I use Sandrena.
Within a short period, I had my life back, not to mention my sex drive improved dramatically.
My husband featured in A magazine talking from a man’s point of view.
Now he is active in his government department helping to drive through new menopause friendly policies. I have often advised other women. The treatment from the NHS is often atrocious with anti depressants handed out like sweets”

“My first sign of menopause symptoms began when my periods stopped at age 42 followed very swiftly with night sweats and hot flushes. I am now 45 years old. I spoke with my GP who, after listening to my symptoms thought that I was probably peri menopausal. Initially I was worried about starting HRT and thought that I could get through it the natural way which I did until I was 44. Who was I kidding!! The turning point for me was watching the Davina menopause documentary last year which gave me the knowledge and confidence to do something about the awful symptoms I was experiencing. They all seemed to start at once, the flushes, sweats, anxiety, brain fog, itchy skin, lack of libedo, insomnia, weight gain, feeling drained and vertigo to name but a few. The day after I called one of the GP's (there is no menopause expert at my practice) and asked for a prescription of HRT. Initially the GP wanted to give me antidepressants which I refused. I knew that my symptoms were hormonal and that I was not depressed. She prescribed me patches that day. I have been using patches since July 2021. At the beginning I felt fabulous and most symptoms disappeared. I had my energy back and felt wonderful. Whoo hoo! Then the erratic bleeding started and then UTI,s. I feel like I've been on a roller coaster ride of emotions for the longest time. My poor husband is living with a ticking time bomb. One day I'm fine and the next day I am filled with rage. Recently though I have been told that my oestrogen is still quite low and my patches dose has been increased. I was also prescribed ovestin local oestrogen which has helped. I have a long way to go and still don't feel as good as I believe I should. I often look in the mirror and think who is she? I don't recognise myself any more. I used to be fun, outgoing and happy. Some days I don't even leave the house and those changes in me I have noticed scare the living daylights out of me. Fingers crossed I find a balance soon so that I can live my life and not feel like a shell of the person I once was. We've got this ladies. We can do this 👊”

“I struggled most mornings to just get out of bed. My job entails walking round and round a massive supermarket. Some days I felt like I was walking in slow-mo. Then one morning I struggled out of bed at my usual 4am alarm and I felt like every bone in my body was broken. I remember thinking it felt like I’d been crushed or hit by a truck and then was trying to just get up and carry on. This was my new normal. I seriously thought I had cancer of the bones and my husband said he couldn’t stand to see or hear me in pain anymore and begged me to go to the Dr’s. I saw a female doctor that week and she told me I was peri-menopausal and she wanted me to have the HRT patch. I swear that within a week I felt no more bone ache and within a month I was truly back to my youthful self again. I hadn’t realised the slow decline I’d been in and I feel like my oomph is back to the brim again.”

“I spoke to my doctor to ask who their head of women’s health was to which they replied they didn’t have anyone. The doctor I was allocated rang me for my telephone appointment and I spoke to her about getting myself on HRT (I’m nearly 46 and experiencing peri menopause symptoms - anxiety, itchy skin, disturbed sleep, fatigue, weight gain). She told me that the symptoms I was experiencing were not menopausal symptoms at all and that I should only take HRT if I am having hot flushes and vaginal dryness (apparently the only two symptoms of menopause and neither of which I am experiencing) and that it should only be taken until I’m 55. She also said that by taking it over 55 I have very high risks of breast and womb cancer as well as strokes and heart attacks and made it sound as though I shouldn’t really go on it at all. She even went on to quote other patients who had wished they had never gone onto HRT as they now had breast cancer as a result!! As you can imagine I was pretty angry at all the tripe she was spouting off!! Thankfully I have done a lot of research about menopause and HRT so I know she was wrong, but it scares me to think that someone who hasn’t done their research will believe this nonsense! I find it frustrating that in order to get the correct hormones to make life a lot better for me I have to pay to go privately. Surely this is a service that the NHS should provide just as much as if I were deficient in iron or some other vitamin?! Sadly I can’t afford to pay for a private consultation so I’m left just keeping my head above water as I try and manage day to day life as a peri menopausal woman hoping that one day I find a doctor who actually knows what they’re talking about!!”

I will be 50 this coming Saturday. And it's a birthday I never thought I would see. Just over a year ago, I transformed from an intelligent, life loving, confident, professional woman to an absolute wreck of a human being. I lost my job which I had been in for 10 years. I lost my home. I lost my partner. I lost all hope. I lost my mind. Literally. I stayed in bed last summer for 4 weeks and couldn't speak to a single soul. I went from being a busy, respected professional who was brilliant at what I did to a walking zombie. I was terrified that my brain - which has always been the tool of my trade - would never recover. I shut down completely. I couldn't even make a cup of tea. I had heart palpitations for 5 months solid. I didn't sleep for 3 weeks solid, despite sleeping tablets. And as for the so called 'hot sweats' - that's a ridiculous turn of phrase. I was on fire, having simultaneous panic attacks and thought I was having a heart attack, at least 2-3 times a day. And just had to lay on the kitchen floor until it eventually passed.

But I'm still here. And so, so thankful that I am. The reasons I am still here are that, firstly, I couldn't work out a way to commit suicide without making a mess. I wrote suicide notes. I researched it A LOT. but couldn’t find the right way. Secondly I have the most wonderful sister who was on suicide watch every day for months. She literally kept at least half an eye on me at all times - and when she couldn't she subcontracted the job! She is a truly wonderful person. Thirdly that, when I was finally made to go to my GP, my doctor was empathetic, kind, completely understanding and recommended a seriously high dose of HRT without any hesitation.

I recognise I was so so lucky. Nobody had prepared me for the absolute devastation menopause can cause in your life. My mother committed suicide aged 45. She was a wonderful, loving, brilliantly talented person. And she went nuts and took her own life. I was 19. For a LONG time, despite therapy, I struggled to wrap my head around how someone who was a selfless, loving mother to 3 (albeit by then grown up) children could just do this. Then, last year, I completely understood. Every day during that dark, dark period was absolutely terrifying and complete torture. And I never thought it would be any different. I could not locate a glimmer of joy in anything - despite all the efforts of the truly wonderful people that surrounded me. And they tried hard, believe me . I have a wonderful son who is now also grown up and independent - and despite knowing how my mother's suicide impacted on me, and the utter devastation it brings, it simply didn't matter. I had shut down completely and despite knowing the pain I would cause, suicide was absolutely the most logical - and only - solution. It seemed entirely inevitable. To end the absolute misery.

But. Here I am. Still alive. And embracing life in a way I never thought I would. My sister told me things would change. In those dark days, weeks, months, I didn't believe her. Not for a second. But she was right. Things started to change slowly after around 2 months of HRT gel (the patches didn't seem to work!) - and then, earlier this year, the change sped up. Significantly. And. I don't know if this re-birth is completely down to HRT gel - I’ve also taken up yoga (after vowing I never would), open water swimming (which has been excellent for sorting my nervous system and ridding me of palpitations), and had more therapy. And, I am now LOVING life - more so than before the breakdown. I’ve started my own business which is gong ridiculously well, and my brain is properly motoring. I have more freedom than ever in my life, more purpose, more stimulation, much more confidence- and more satisfaction than I think I've felt for decades.

I also, for the first time ever, have made a forward plan to work out how I want to spend my last 20 or so years on this plant. And despite not having had sex for a year and absolutely not wanting to get involved ever again, I met a person 2 days ago, by chance, that I could actually imagine wanting to have sex with. This is serious progress. And it really doesn't matter if we don't even get it on - just knowing I could feel desire in that way was the best birthday present ever (I really really used to love sex!)

So - the shortage of HRT gel terrifies me. I do not think I could do another episode like last year. I've resorted to private prescriptions (managed to find 1 UK supplier on a luck day with stock!). So for now I'm ok - but I can't help thinking that, had my mother had the support and medication I was so fortunate to receive, she'd probably still be alive - and would have been a part of my son's life.

I get that menopause impacts on different women differently. For me it is not a 'lifestyle choice' or a 'nice to have'. It really is medication I know I need not to return to the desolation of last year, and resulting inevitability of suicide,

I am hoping the supply chains get sorted. If this condition happened to men I have no doubt that every town fountain across the UK would be pumping out free oestrogel. But it isn't a male issue. And I am so so grateful to this campaign that we make it an issue for the whole of society. Even the capitalists have to recognise that losing half your workforce at 50 is bonkers - especially when they represented the most experience, skilled, patient and smart half!

Finally, just to say, if you're in that dark place just now, know that things really will change. I know this is so so hard to believe. Bu is is true.

Good luck with your journeys, and I hope you get the support, help and medication you need.”

“I have been on HRT successfully for 4 years. Prescribed by a wonderful GP who suggested I take it. Sadly she no longer works at my practice.
I needed a prescription review and was actually given a face to face appointment yesterday. The conversation was, “do you have any menopause symptoms”… my answer …”no”… her response…. Why don’t you stop taking it then? I was very shocked….she said “you can just stop taking it and see how it goes? “ My reply was… “not a chance”!
Was this because of the shortage??”

“At the age of 38 I went through early menopause or medical menopause as it’s called due to cancer surgery. I was shocked by the complete lack of help or advice given from the the medical profession. The symptoms and issues I was experiencing were almost an after thought to them at at time when I felt I was being hit by a bus by them. My prescriptions are super expensive and often unavailable when I go to collect so I am left waiting while my unbearable symptoms start to increase by the day.”

“I hadn’t realised how much HRT had changed my life until a brief period without it. I was experiencing some bleeding and had some polyps removed. The (male) gynaecologist told me to stop using my patches and wait 2 weeks before talking to the doctor about changing my prescription. During that time brain fog descended and my anxiety went through through the roof. My GP was thankfully brilliant and gave me a new prescription straight away, it took another two weeks but I’m now back to my usual calm and cheerful self.”

“In my late 40s I started having anxiety attacks and hot flushes. The flushes happened every 45 minutes 24/7. The anxiety attacks came on without warning. My sleep was also affected and I rarely got more than 4 or 5 hours sleep and never without waking several times. Fortunately I had a wonderful GP and she put me on an estrogen replacement as I already had a mirena coil fitted. For 10 years I was symptom free but then I was told I had to come off the hrt as 10 years was the maximum time allowed. I was nearly 60 so assumed I the hot flushes and anxiety would be gone but sadly not. Within weeks the hot flushes had returned. For the last 6/7 years I have been managing them with herbal supplements - red clover, sage and evening primrose. Whilst they helped, I was still getting 6 + flushes a day. It’s not just a case of getting hot but they made me dizzy and nauseous as well. Last year I was at the end of my tether and went to see my GP also a woman but not the original one. She felt unable to prescribe hrt because of my age (66) but she did refer me to the menopause clinic in our local hospital. Unfortunately their waiting list was so long that six months later I still hadn’t heard anything. In the end I decided to go privately and saw a fantastic doctor ( who, in fact had started up the menopause clinic in the local hospital but is now retired from the NHS) who explained about the new body-identical hrt and how much safer they are. She prescribed estrogen patches and progesterone tablets and I’m now hot flush free! My sleep pattern isn’t perfect but it’s definitely better as are the anxiety attacks.”

“I'm now 63 and post menopausal. But like many women, who are hardly mentioned, I had a late menopause at around 60. When I had my Mirena coil removed at 53 I was still having periods and was prescribed the contraceptive pill, and told I could take it continuously so I wasn't bleeding. My GP did annual hormone tests and was advised by a hospital gynae to just monitor the situation. My test 6 months before my 60th birthday showed hormone levels high enough for me to be in peri menopause but the one done 6 months after showed I was post menopausal, and so I was told I could stop taking the pill.
I was ok for almost a year before the hot flushes, night sweats, drop in libido, weight gain, skin infections, broken sleep and low moods began. I spoke to my GP, it was during covid so on the phone, and the first thing she told me was that as I was over 60 she couldn't consider HRT. She prescribed a vasodilator for the flushes, which hasn't helped; and was a bit dismissive of the libido and low mood issues.
So I have just been bumbling along, trying to eat well and exercise (although I often don't have the enthusiasm for anything other than sitting reading with a big bar of chocolate). My husband has been supportive but is starting to think there are other things going on because, really, I should be "over this" by now.
We are moving house shortly and so I will see what my new GP has to say. I have more evidence of my symptoms now so fingers crossed for a bit more help.”

“I am 46 and suffering debilitating anxiety with physical symptoms down to peri menopause. Time off work, struggling at home. I’m unable to pay for a private menopause specialist. Please help.”

“I am now post-menopause. The first thing I would like to say is that I feel more hopeful for women now approaching peri-menopause, because of the raised awareness of the issues through great communities such as this one.
When I approached peri-menopause around 12 years ago I was ill prepared. Honestly, I'd never heard the term peri-menopause - I had vague expectations of hot flushes and, perhaps, bad temper. In reality, I was floored by my symptoms which affected me, detrimentally, at work and socially. At the time I didn't seek help or explore HRT. There was much less information out there, then, and HRT was medically frowned upon. I applaud the work that is now being done to increase awareness of menopause generally and particularly in the workplace. My confidence at work plummeted and I retreated into the background - as a result I missed opportunities and promotions, for sure. Sadly, I look back at my fifties as a 'lost' decade...”

“I've suspected I was entering peri menopause after the birth of my daughter almost 14 years ago. I would of been 36. It was brushed off. Things like itchy skin just not feeling quire right a subtle change in my periods. For years I was told your not old enough itchy skin has nothing to do with it. I often felt I was a teenager again . The ups & downs of mood extreme cramps heavy periods so bad I couldn't get out of the house or I'd have to get clean clothes somehow if it happened at work . I remember talking to a client feeling the blood running down my legs praying they wouldnt see . Having to leave a queue for the same reason knowing i was leaving a blood trail for all to see. The only reason I managed to get HRT was because I was about to turn 50 & my periods were irregular!!! I had to have an ultrasound sound 1st too due to my heavy periods which took 3 months . I knew the heaviness was due to undiagnosed endrometreosis. It had been questioned throughout my teens & beyond!! I finally got a confirmed diagnosis!!!! Its only taken over 35 years!!! Can you imagine what it's been like. Add PCOS on top of severe pms too. Nothing for any of it no help. Just as well its what some women have & your Hispanic/Latino!! I was in hospital at the age of 49 as PCOS was giving me a hard time & I knew some cysts had burst. It took them 24 hours to do a scan!! 24 hours of absolute agony only for them then to say it looks like you've had some cysts burst as we can see a lot of fluid. Yep too right you can I told you that from the beginning I've had them since I was a teenager. Then I get some pain relief. But nothing since . Again despite the PCOS being an issue again PMS & Endremetreosis + perimenopause I've feel like I've had to fight justify & yet still ignored . I've been left x3 without HRT since I started. The last time for a month due to shortages. (The other 2 because the Dr's couldn't get it right!!) It's been a month of he'll. The impact to my digestive system unbearable to the point I could hardly eat or drink.
I also have EDS FND , Dystonia CDH & Dystautonia. This means some symptoms of perimenopause are masked by others. Note these diagnoses have only occurred in the last 12 years the last 4 in the last 2 -6 months.
All the time before nothing. Just brushed off....Still the same now.
I'm writing this in bed with severe cramps not really knowing if I'm going to get a period yet still every month ovulation cramps & period pains regardless of any period.”

“Told by my GP I was depressed. Suffered for a year before finally going back and asking to see someone who could help and not the GP I had previously seen. Turns out my GP was a so called professional in HRT!! Finally given HRT patches by the practice nurse and now six months on I feel amazing.”

“36 years old at the start of the first covid lockdown, I fell head first into hot flushes, awful skin and random bouts of anxiety. The hot flushes scared me, having had a thyroid issue previously with half of it removed I knew flushes could be a sign of something seriously wrong with my thyroid so immediately got in touch with my consultant and managed to get a scan (- battle given it was in a period of madness). Thyroid got the ok but no further along for these awful symptoms. Along came sleepless nights, tossing and turning unable to regulate my temperature and night time anxiety at a peak. I questioned if the drama of lockdown was adding to this and after weeks of having to listen to podcasts to get to sleep and when I woke rapidly shoving the headphones back in praying I would get back to sleep I really began to worry. Toilet trips several times a night had become normal, dry eyes needing eye drops I put down to extra computer work joining in with the nation to a new way of working with zoom calls and remote working now the norm. After a 1am panic attack stood in the garden with my husband crying and trying to breathe, I said I really need to get to the bottom of this. My skin was worse than ever, my GP said it could be rosacea and maybe this was also affecting my flushing and prescribed with azalaic acid. It never worked much and I still use it now but my skin is worse than ever.
Months later I complained yet again to another GP about the flushing, sleepless night and more and was sent back to my consultant who tested me for a range of autoimmune diseases including lupus. Having already been diagnosed with Graves’ disease and then Hashimoto’s years before I of course through I was having a relapse into a condition that had been managed pretty well to now.
Tests all rushed back clear. I then headed back to the GP now nearly 18 months after my first symptoms. I talked about how I was feeling and how the anxiety I had suffered with at low levels mostly in previous years (worse during my thyroid imbalance) had now come back with a vengeance. I was prescribed antidepressants. I left feeling a little rocked. I didn’t mention low mood and I didn’t feel depressed.
A week in and I had a full blown panic attack whilst driving with my son, it really shook me. I went to the GP shaking and she told me to stop them immediately. I did.
I returned to the GP to disucss my ongoing hip and back pain which was so debilitating and I had been struggling with for 4 months. I then had a hip x Ray - all ok. A dexa bone scan- all ok. I had a series of blood tests and was sat down with my husband and told I was being referred on a 2 week wait with suspected Multiple Myeloma due to an elevated blood test and my symptoms. My family were in shock. 1 week late I get a call from my consultant whom I called for advice who offered to speak to his haematology colleague - he advised my levels were elevated enough and they didn’t suspect myeloma! The rollercoaster of emotions was unreal.
A few weeks later my symptoms now improving I took my mother and the first female GP I saw asked lots of questions to my mother and me. She said this could be hormonal and I asked could it be menopause as I had IVF previously and had Ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome producing 27 eggs. She said looking at my bloods they were ok but recommend I read up on PMDD and grab a book called the Hormone repair manual. I did just that. I read it and instantly knew it wasn’t PMDD. My GP called me as promised after more blood tests and advised me that she hadn’t mentioned but she worked privately for a menopause clinic and she was going to discuss my case with them.
Another week later and she called to say she had been through my bloods for the previous year and found some very high and lows of my oestradiol levels. She said this alongside my symptoms was enough to say I was likely Perimenopausal and she would get permission from my designated GP for a 3 month trial of HRT. I was simply overwhelmed. I’m a long way from back to me but my excruciating pain has nearly gone and I’m making headway. I don’t get up to wee throughout the night and I don’t need earphones in to sleep.”

“I sailed through the menopause – or so I thought. I’d had a Mirena coil and hadn’t had periods for a number of years so when I had it removed at 52 and my periods didn’t restart I thought that was it. Hurray, over and done.

At 54 I started a new job. I work in a technical job in IT, very much male dominated and most of those men were younger than me. I’ve always loved my job and the best part about it has always been the continual learning. The new job was in a place I’d wanted to work for years and involved new technologies and a chance to add to my skills. I was overjoyed at the opportunity.

Except that I couldn’t do it. Nothing made sense. My brain just couldn’t take in the new technology, my confidence ebbed away. My anxiety increased. I would disappear to the toilet and cry. I couldn’t sleep. I gained weight. I became snappy and irritable with my family. In addition I had lots of physical problems – a frozen shoulder, hip and knee issues and migraines.

Eventually I contacted my GP, thinking I must be depressed. Immediately she suggested I try HRT patches. It took a while but HRT did help. My sleep improved almost immediately and the fog began to clear and I began to understand the new technologies. The anxiety and lack of confidence persist to an extent but I’m getting there.

I couldn’t and never have talked to my manager about this. It was an all male team apart from me. He is the kindest, most understanding person and I’m sure he would have been concerned and tried to help – but I was just plain embarrassed.”

“I am early 50s and up until a couple of years ago felt amazing, healthy and relatively fit. Periods had stopped probably three years previous and I had a few menopause symptoms that I could deal with . However a year ago I was diagnosed with bilateral frozen shoulders and went through hell with the pain, they are still not completely fixed but I'm getting there. Then came the head to toe body aches, if I turned over in the night I was in agony and getting up in the morning I felt like an 80 year old! My concentration particularly at work was suffering and I had brain fog, sleep was all over the place and felt very low. I spoke to my gp on several occasions mainly in relation to the aches because it was something I was finding harder and harder to cope with. I thought I had an illness that was causing this because it had come on quite quickly. The gp did not want to prescribe hrt, no real reason as i was on no other medication, had no history of cancer but she told me to take pain killers. My employer had several free menopause awareness sessions in October and one I attended had a private menopause specialist presenting, it clicked immediately everything she was explaining was me, finally someone understood what was happening. She wasn't promoting her services as a private doctor so I looked her up online and found that her clinic was able to do remote video consultation . I contacted and within a month I was seen, the appointment was 45 mins and so very useful. She prescribed body identical hrt which was delivered within 12 hours. The private specialist also wrote to my GP advising what she prescribed and requested it to be put on repeat on the NHS. I started my hrt mid November and by Christmas I started to feel more like me. My brain fog was improving, I started to sleep more at night, I wasn't nodding off in the day, my skin had improved, the aches were still present but not as severe and even my shoulders felt easier. Within 3 months I felt back to how I like to feel, energetic and happy until I needed to get a repeat prescription as my Dr will only prescribe one month at a time. I had a text from the surgery to say they were unable to fulfill my prescription due to shortage immediately I panicked, I could not return to how I felt just months before. They suggested I changed to a patch but knowing how my skin reacts to plasters I declined and went back down the private route. I paid for 3 months supply (not much more expensive than the nhs) and hope that it will see me through until the shortages have been fixed. If I get those same symptoms back sadly I will not be able to work, I have no idea how I got thru the last time being awake half the night and then only going back to sleep as the alarm was about to sound. I'm keeping everything crossed that the shortages will be rectified soon.”

“One morning I woke, I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror and cried, I had no idea who this woman was, I didn't recognise her at all, she didn't look like me, and I didn't feel like me. I sat on the floor for an hour, sobbing.

I was scared, confused, and felt incredibly lost. I was 38

I went to the doctors more times than I can remember and finally
after four years and what felt like a weekly increase in symptoms and being told I was depressed and it was all in my mind along with "you are too young to be going through the Menopause." I finally discovered I was going through the Peri-Menopause, all the symptoms of the menopause but still having periods...Yay

When I began the peri-menopause at 38 I thought I was on the fast track to becoming ‘old’ my skin began drying, I put on a pound or ten, my memory became foggy, and I couldn’t see any way back.

I cried, and cried more times than I can count

I cried because I wasn’t ready, I cried because it wasn’t my choice, I cried because I was scared, I cried because I had lost the girl I was.

I cried because I was alone and had no idea what was going on

I felt like giving in, I began drinking more because what else was there to do, eating anything and everything because what did it matter it was only an extra pound or two, slowly the love for myself faded

It was then at my lowest that the light began to creep in.

I sat on the bottom step of my stairs and cried (again)

I ask my self the question ‘What do I want from life, My life?’

It was then the that doors and windows opened and the light started flooding in.

My why is to live a very long, healthy happy and purposeful life, and at 102 to be able to do what I can do today and more.

I liked the sound of this, It sparked hope

If I had any chance of this happening I had to pull myself together and make some serious changes.

I understood that I was going to age no matter what, but I didn’t need to get old.

Grow old gracefully some may call it.

I tried HRT a couple of times but it didn’t like me, chest pains and increased blood pressure and resting heart rate.. I didn’t need anymore symptoms so I finally stopped

I knew I had to make lifestyle changes

I quit the booze, cleaned up my eating, remembered that I actually love exercising, and reading, and funnily the more I read the more I remembered, our brain is a muscle after all.

Then something amazing happened, I got my power back, the more I stopped making excuses and started making choices the happier I become

No magic pill just a girl with a goal, a dream and a daily intention to make it happen

Love the season and the skin your in ❤️

Together we’ve got this.”

“Menopause for me started at age 50. The only symptom I had was my periods started to be erratic. The usual on, off, flooding one month to nothing the next. And then stopping altogether At 57 June 2021 I started to feel unwell on and off. Didn't even click that could be Menopause as I had just had my 2nd covid vaccine so thought it was that. The worse symptom for me was fluctuating anxiety and I think I was spiralling into depression. The feeling was awful I felt so low. Didn't want to get out of bed in the morning but did to go to work. The anxiety feeling was awful like I was shaking inside in my chest. This was there one minute, gone the next. Up and down all the time. Other symptoms; I had palpitations, aching joints, brittle nails. I phoned my GP, eventually I got an appointment to go for blood tests. When I eventually got blood tests back (that's another story) I was told my oestrogen and vitamin D was low. My GP started me on Evorel 50 combi patches in September 21 and vit D supplement. After 6 months of side effects, changing my HRT etc., I am now settled on 0.5mg Sandrena gel and Utrogestan 100mg. Initially i felt my GP started me on too high a dose of patches and then Oestogel pump. I was experiencing sore breasts and leg cramps mainly. Because of HRT shortages I was changed to Sandrena gel. My GP Initially gave me 1.0mg and 0.5mg to apply daily. I decided I would just apply 0.5mg daily to see how I got on. I started this on 2nd March 2022 and seem to be getting on with this. No side effects. Although certain time of the month I get a couple of nights where I wake early with very mild anxiety. I just keep my eyes closed think of nice things try to shake this off and most of the time I can drop back to sleep before my alarm goes off to get up for work. It is now 23rd April and I do tend to feel so much better 😌 I was told have to give at least 3 months for body to get used to HRT and to settle. I did up my Sandrena one day due to a bit of mild anxiety to 1.0mg. As soon as I did leg cramp came back. I reduced the next day to 0.5mg and after couple days leg cramp gone again. Just shows dose too high. But I may have to increase at later date. My advise to anyone starting HRT make sure your GP doesn't start you on too high a dose. Start low then increase if you have too. I just can't believe I went for 7 years without any symptoms, to this. The only other thing that worries me now is supply shortages. The government/health minister really need to pull their finger out and do something about it. Has been going on for far too long and they are treating women like 2nd class citizens when it comes to our health and HRT. We cannot do without this medication.”

“I'm 49. I have been taking HRT for 6 months. My Dr wanted to prescribe anti depressants for my symptoms which I refused. I was insistent I wanted to try HRT. My symptoms were insomnia and low mood. I had also skipped 2 periods in the space of nine months and put two and two together. I have only just switched from patches to the gel and Utrogestan. There is a problem with supply of Oestrogel and Sandrena. The initial GP I saw clearly had no idea what these were and offered tablets. He reluctantly prescribed me with patches and dismissed micronised progesterone. I'm now under a new GP at the surgery who is far better informed.
I have been shocked at the lack of training in the NHS After telling the first GP how much better I felt on HRT I felt that he was only concerned with getting me to stop it as soon as possible and said anti depressants helped with hot flushes, despite the fact that I have never suffered with them! A couple of weeks after starting HRT I felt that a light had been switched back on in my head. I don't think I realised just how low I had felt before taking the HRT.”

I was in my early 30's when a full Hysterectomy threw me into Menopause. Leaving the hospital with a leaflet and a box of Oestrogen only HRT, I was merely told, my recovery time and that I'd be on HRT for probably the next 20 years!

With very little information or education, I had no idea what was to come. I had suffered two decades of Endometriosis and Adenomyosis, trauma from 19 surgeries and at no point did anyone sit me down and explain 1) What Menopause would really feel like 2) The proper after-care I should experience 3) How I should be supported going forward being so young 4) Offer any mental support in how this might have affected me. Crazy right?

As my body healed from surgery the symptoms of Menopause started. I would experience the usual flushes, night sweats and it started to effect my sleep. My body shape was starting to change and I would feel fatigued easily, exercise slowed down as I tried to save energy to run around after the children and go to work.

Then something happened that I really wasn't expecting. I felt like the plates I would usually juggle, were starting to fall. I would forget things, the kids club timings, things my husband had told me, conversations I'd had about projects at work. I just couldn't get to things. It was like my inbox was full. I became so irritable, angry and explosive at times, hiding my anxiety, the feeling of not belonging and all whilst not having a clue why I felt like I did. I honestly felt like I was losing my mind.

With relationships starting to crumble, I felt I wasn't any good at my job, a good Mum, Wife...or person! I was lost...

Driving the kids to school one day, I remember not being able to hear the music, I was numb to their usual squabbling and as the sun shone in my eyes, I remember thinking, I just couldn't be bothered to squint, pull down the visor or press the break...in that moment I wanted to die!

I was off work for six months after that day, with a phased return it took me almost a year to get back into the swing of things! In that time I learnt that diminishing hormone levels, not the right dosage of HRT and no support around my surgery was a huge part of what had happened! It took me to get that low, over twenty therapy sessions, for my family to nearly break and for me to temporarily leave work for that to even come up!

With awareness came improvements and mentally I grew stronger. For a while all seemed better, but despite getting back to work, something still wasn't right physically.

That was a few years ago and just 5 months ago I finally got to speak to an NHS Menopause doctor through a new clinic at my GP surgery. Elated, we spoke, I felt listened to and she wanted to know my history. Her diagnosis after blood tests was that my Oestrogen levels were dangerously low and it seemed I wasn't absorbing the Oestrogen through tablet/gel/patch (I had tried all over the years). She informed I would need an 'Oestrogen implant', I was then referred beck to the GP to set the wheels in motion hurrah!

I was also put onto Progesterone, in which the Menopause Doctor was shocked I had not been put on this from day one due to the risk of Endometriosis returning. With only ever have one set of bloods done before and no knowledgable checks of low levels, she said "You've really suffered medical negligence here!", that struck me hard.

What came next was a text message (like some sort of bad break up!) to inform that I couldn't have the implant, geographically it wasn't on offer to me..that was it!
So where did that leave me? By this point I was a mess, with physical symptoms through the roof including, aching joints, severe fatigue, brain fog and heart palpitations, I couldn't believe what I was reading.

My options - Go on a NHS wait list for a hospital 2 hours away, or go up the road to a private clinic and pay £500!

Feeling like I was really struggling and now mentally some demons were start to arise again, I opted for Private. I had the most amazing consultation and paid for the HRT Implant to be ordered in.

That was 5 weeks ago. I'm still waiting for the HRT implant to come! Meanwhile still awaiting any news from the NHS side.

I'm left physically and mentally at rock bottom. I'm struggling to function and right now have had to again take some time off work, in order to sustain energy to function and look after the children. This is not living!
Not only do I have the concern of when I will get this implant, I also question, what happens when it needs replacing every 6 months? Will I even get it? What about support and care...It petrifies me.

I do not fit the usual box on Menopause! People like me are often not seen or heard much in the world of media, we're not recognised on medical forms, or Menopause checklists, HRT checks at GP surgeries, often having to be the one education the professionals rather than the other way around as to why we're menopausal at such a young age.

For me it isn't a natural stage or transition. It is medical a hormone deficiency that needs proper care, knowledge, support and medication.

Imagine what the worst case scenario here is...and then imagine the best. Which one should any human feel?

“My friends noticed my symptoms before I did nearly four years ago. I suffered from debilitating brain fog, lack of focus, loss of confidence, low mood, poor sleep and at times, chronic anxiety. I thought I was having some kind of mid life breakdown and at times, dementia. I left my job of 9 years because I just didn't feel I could function any longer. I've been on HRT patches on and off for nearly 4 years, and need regular check ups to see what symptoms are worse/better. I still feel there is room for improvement, but it's a very expensive experience and it just shouldn't be.”

“Off the back of watching Let’s all Talk Menopause webinars, I've been able to work with my GP to join the dots of all my perimenopause symptoms going back 7 YEARS and I am starting HRT in a couple weeks! It is such a relief to know that I'm not a hypochondriac (as I was pretty much told by most doctors) and I am SO looking forward to feeling better. Life changing!”

“I explained all of my menopause symptoms to my GP and asked if I could take HRT. She said no and offered me antidepressants.”

“I was officially diagnosed premenopausal early 2020, after years of complaint about my irregular period. I'm in my late 30s.
I was referred to a gynecologist who prescribed HRT. I started the course of the treatment but soon discovered I reacted to the medication badly. I tried to get back in touch with the doctor that prescribed it, left numerous messages with their reception but got nowhere. Follow-up telephone appointments were not kept either. I then went back to my GP for help, they sent me back to the consultant that prescribed it. It's two years later and I'm not on any treatment. My sleep has suffered and thus affecting every other aspect of my life.

No one is willing to help. I just get tossed from pillar to post. It's disappointing.'“

“I went through the menopause at 43 and have been taking HRT since then (6 years). I’ve experienced many menopausal symptoms and have a family history of osteoporosis. My experience on NHS support has been very hit and miss depending on which GP, pharmacist or nurse I get to speak to. Many only have a general overview of menopause and treatment. I’ve had to arm myself with information to be able to steer or question treatment and/or symptoms. I’ve also paid double prescription charges for HRT as it included two ingredients, both oestrogen and progesterone. I’m currently on a waiting list for a menopause clinic whom I am hoping will prescribe testosterone as my local GP’s will not prescribe this directly.”

“Went to GP with very obvious perimenipausal symptons who had my hormonal blood results showing hormone changes still insisted on putting me on antidepressants even though the surgery had its own Menopause Nurse; I eventually got an appointment with her after being very persistent & who was shocked & surprised that the GP should be prescribing antidepressants for this instead of referring to her!”

“I started the peri-menopause 5 years ago and suffered terribly with prolonged and heavy bleeding. This resulted in time off work as when it was at its worst I couldn’t leave the house. Initially I received very poor advice from my GP, dismissive and a complete lack of sympathy. Eventually after being really persistent I was referred to a consultant and had an ablation to burn away the lining of my womb which made a massive difference to the bleeding I was experiencing. However the other symptoms remained, night sweats, exhaustion, total lack of libido, low mood etc. Due to lockdown I didn’t feel it was appropriate to burden the nhs with this but in January I had a phone consultation with my GP and started HRT. I was initially put on patches but had a severe skin reaction (these were a combined oestrogen and progesterone patch) I came off these a month ago and put on oestrogen gel and a separate progesterone pill. The biggest issue for me is that I now have to pay every 3 months for this prescription which as it’s 2 separate items I pay double. I gave up my job due to my menopause which was a well paid (35k) position as I just couldn’t cope with the symptoms and do a good job. I’m not on benefits so still pay for my prescriptions but have no income, relying on savings. Why do women have to pay out like this just to feel normal? It’s so unfair and like contraception should be free or at the very least a one off charge annually. I really hope that the government can see the depth of desperation many women feel and will rethink their decision regarding prescription charges and accessibility.”

“When I started getting symptoms of the Menopause I went to see my Doctor who did a test and confirmed that I was indeed going through ‘the change'. When I asked him if I could have HRT he checked my notes and declined my request due to the fact that my Mother has suffered from Thrombosis in her past. This was on my notes as it was a question asked when I went onto the Contraceptive Pill years before. I asked him what I should do to help with my symptoms of hot sweats, sleepless nights, anxiety etc. He said to look into the natural supplements and to drink at least a pint of milk a day to help with maintaining my bones. I started to take over the counter Sleeping Tables and consequently got addicted to them. The pint of milk a day didn't help much either other than helping to put on weight. I feel I was very let down by my doctor and was left to suffer in silence.”

“I contacted my Doctor to ask for help and advise when my menopause symptoms were getting worse. I WAS OFFERED ANTIDEPRESSANTS!!!!! I collected my prescription, even though I knew I wasn't going to take them. The side effects were worse than my actual symptoms. I felt slightly pressured by my GP to "at least try them" and it seemed as though she was only focused on my low moods (which weren't THAT bad) and dismissed my other symptoms completely. I really felt like I wasn't being taken seriously or properly listened to (brushed off) and it did put me off speaking to any other GP about it.”

“In 2011 I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer at the age of 43 and received Chemotherapy and Radiotherapy treatment. With the onset of this, Menopause was brought on quicker and I’ve been suffering ever since. I’m unable to have HRT like most women and have been left out by not having any help. I’ve had years of suffering from Depression, Anxiety, Mood Swings, Flushes and Night Sweats to mention just a few and Suicidal thoughts. I have been prescribed a high dose of Anti Depressants, but finding it’s not working as well now. My partner does not listen to how I’m feeling and looks at me as though I’m inhuman and I’m crying most days, feeling frustrated that no-one is listening to me. I feel alone and that I can’t live my life, I’m just existing.”

“It's hugely disappointing that the GPs at my NHS medical centre didn't recognise insomnia and anxiety as symptoms of perimenopause. Why isn't menopause routinely considered as a possible diagnosis for women in their late forties and fifties? Going part-time at work helped me cope. Nor did my GP know the HRT equivalent doses between gel and patches. My local pharmacist and Louise Newsom's balance app have been really helpful.”

“I have quite a few symptoms and after speaking to my friend who was experiencing similar symptoms realised I was going through the menopause and must have been peri-menopausal for quite a few years without knowing. I contacted my Dr but I spoke to a locum Dr who said I can go on antidepressants or start using HRT. I didn't know anything about HRT only that there were patches so this is what I tried. After still feeling the same if not worse I spoke to another locum who advised to finish taking the HRT patches after 3 months to see if there was any change. My worse symptoms are hot flushes, headaches, brain fog, skin flare ups especially itchy skin at night time. I have other symptoms but not as bad. I spoke to another locum after 3 months who said to try a tablet so I started these without knowing I might bleed during this time (I'm on the mini pill so didn't think this was possible & have stayed on it for the progesterone). After not having a period for over 20 years I started bleeding quite heavily for over a week & had to google if this was normal? After a few months my hot flushes were just the same and by now I class this as my worst symptom as this has stopped me from going out due to sweating in public also. My head drips. I spoke to another locum Dr who said she can up my tablets to a higher dose but if this didn't work then it would have to be reviewed again. During this time I've had 2 lots of blood tests which were pointless as they came back normal. I'm now in my 8th/9th month and I'm still having really bad hot flushes and feeling generally unwell, fed up and frustrated by this. After watching many programs on the menopause and HRT plus trying to research things myself with my friends help I'm no further ahead with getting these symptoms under control. My anxiety and stress levels are high. This is affecting my day to day life and I don't seem to be getting the advice I need. I've just changed my Dr's surgery and they have menopause nurses and I have an appointment which I've had to wait for as they get booked up but I'm really hoping they can help me as I'm desperate now. How do I know what my body is absorbing as it feels like the last 8/9 months of the HRT patch & tablets haven't done anything and I'm still suffering lots.”

“I've had little if any help from any GP with my symptoms of pre menopause such as dry skin, dry hair, scalp and dry nails pus many headaches, fatigue, hot sweats at night, disturbed sleep, ridges in nails and irregular and heavy periods.”

“Firstly went to my doc 5 yrs ago saying my period stopped and feeling depressed, not myself etc, I was made redundant, evicted from my flat, split with my boyfriend, had to sell my car etc, could only afford a grubby bedsit on my own and all in the space of 3 months, he gave me antidepressant (I did not take) Went back to doc still feeling v low. He said i have no periods due to stress and gave me another antidepressant. I did not take them and I explained again I still have no period, I said would take them as he would not give me a sick note otherwise. Then I needed another sick note, went back to a woman doc as my other doc was not in, she did not believe me that I was depressed etc, I broke down again, I had to beg her to give me a sick note otherwise I could not pay rent and she wrote me a prescription for more antidepressants. I felt suicidal leaving that day, the doctor did not believe me. I did not take the pills, I was thinking of saving all of them. The pandemic hit. My isolation is still here with me, I rarely see anyone anymore, I dread going back to my surgery cos nobody believes me, the only thing that is keeping me alive is my parents as I don't want them upset but they live in another country. Everyday I wake up (lucky if I can get 3 hours sleep a night), thinking I want my life to end as i feel stir crazy. My confidence is at a low, i uses to be so vibrant, laugh and enjoy life, now i just feel like i am meant to be dead. I am tired of living in fear and i maintain myself as best as i can bùt i know i am not me anymore. Anxiety, lack of sleep, lack of appetite, hair loss, vaginal dryness, problems with concentration, feeling hot and then cold, and crying. Deep breathes help sometimes. I don't know if I can handle another year of this torture, i am 49. Even afraid to pick up the phone to get a doctors appointment now terrifies me.”

“At the age of 45 , completely out of the blue, I had severe suicidal thoughts - to the point I was planning how I would end everything. I had never experienced anything like it in my life before. I went to my GP and was offered anti depressants and counselling- neither of which I wanted or felt I needed. I asked if it could be hormonal and was told blood tests were unreliable and the conversation ended there. I walked out of the surgery wanting to truly end it all and I now realise that GP really failed me that day!!! Fortunately I have since armed myself with all the information I needed and asked another GP about HRT - she was far more informed and I was prescribed oestrogel and progesterone capsules. I haven’t looked back since and I thank the likes of all the women in the world who are using their voices to fight for the cause - thank you!”

“I have suffered for many years but I did not realise I was peri menopause. I had never heard of it. My hot flushes up to recently have left me soaking wet and embarrassed. I tried HRT years ago by taking tablets but I had heavy periods so the doctor took me off them. I have researched menopause myself using the balance app and the menopause charity app and decided to speak to the GP. I am now on Evorel Conti and feel much better, but my GP it seems is still working off the old rules and regulations. The GP service desperately need more up to date education where HRT is concerned. Why are we still second class citizens?.”

“When I was 19 I was told I'd go through early menopause. I fought with my G.P for 10 years to test my hormones only to be told "you're far too young for menopause". 10 years of symptoms, 10 years of complaining and they finally agreed when I was 29 to test my Hormone levels. 3 blood test over 6 weeks confirmed I was post menopause. I was told to start hrt the day I found out. No explaining anything, no telling me anything that might happen, no offer of counselling, nothing. I'm now 34 and I'm still arguing with doctors. I had my hrt changed a month ago and instead of reading my letter from the hospital, my doctor prescribed me the wrong hrt because of my age and not by what was on my file. I was on the verge of a breakdown crying to my G.Ps receptionist asking for an emergency appointment, to be told no, it wasn't an emergency. I have had no oestrogen in 8 weeks and my symptoms where coming back and my anxiety was through the roof. Again I was told no and even had a doctor hang up on me. I couldn't face every going back to that practice. I registered with a new doctor this week. I've lost 2 and a half stone in 6 month and when I explained this to my old female doctor she only asked me "what's your secret". I have my first appointment today with my new doctor and she was lovely. The only one to listen to me from start to finish and offer the help and support I wanted. She's sending me for loads of blood test that I've asked for before and told I did not need. I'm hoping this will be the start of the help I need because this has been the hardest 10 years of my life having no one listen to me or offer any support.”

“Approx 10 years ago I had a fybroid so had to have a hysterectomy, I then started the menopause and my GP was excellent and prescribed me HRT which worked really well and reduced all the symptoms of the menopause. In 2016 I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my breast care consultant would not let me have HRT. My life has been heavily impacted, serious hot flushes night sweats, I am currently prescribed Gabapentin which have helped with the hot flushes. My frustration is not every one can take HRT - please consider us.”

“I am 37, had a hysterectomy at 33 due to adenomoysis. Never was I once told i would go into the menopause. I struggled for years until a male Dr said it to me. On HRT now and I've my life back.”

“Three years ago at 56 I suffered from insomnia weight loss anxiety. As I'd been taken off combined pill I new I would be in chemical menopause. Despite at least six attempts asking GP for HRT I was refused because I had no hot flushes. Over the period of 4 months I lost over 3 stones and was like a skeleton. Hi en sleeping pills and antidepressants. Several types but nothing worked. Was told I had clinical depression yet never had depression in my life. Became so I'll and dehydrated, no food no sleep I took my first overdose. Without a doubt I intended to die. Was out in a psychiatric hospital for four months. More medication, hallucinating. I tried another twice that year 2019 to die. It took me to 2021 to finally obtain HRT and felt better every day since. I lost a job I loved. Lost rationships with family, friends, lost my confidence, lost so much and put my husband of one year through a living hell. Too many women are still dying and suffering debilitating effects. Yes things are changing but not quick enough.”

I started getting frequent UTI’s in my early 40’s for no reason. I kept getting prescribed repeat antibiotics only. I got tinnitus, anxiety and depression. Got prescribed antidepressants only. When I asked about the other symptoms I was told it’s just part of what happens when women get older. It was a female GP around the same age as me. My symptoms progressively got worse over the next 5-10 yrs. Only at 49 did I get HRT after asking for it as my genitourinary symptoms were so painful and debilitating. It was like a fire burning in my vulva. Had to wait weeks like this before seeing a gyni. I turned out also to be allergic to the oestrogen cream and pessaries. I have now asked if I can get the cream compounded with no glycerin in it. Fingers crossed! Still no sex drive and still uncomfortable despite HRT and testosterone cream. Hoping it will eventually get better.

“I’m 47. For the past 5 years I have been back and forth to the GP, with anxiety, irregular bleeding, UTIs, vaginal dryness, headaches that last days, broken skin from itching. I have the coil fitted and was dismissed as not having perimenopause “because the coil takes care of symptoms”. Last year I was heard! I was given the gel. Within a week I was feeling so much better and could actually string a sentence together. A few months later the symptoms were worsening so I went back to the GP. Patches were the way forward with a higher dose. Brilliant! What a life saver. Everything felt good! 4-5 months in and the irregular bleeding is back, mood swings, fatigue, anxiety, and a huge feeling of just wanting to be alone in silence forever. I returned to the GP….. I was asked many questions (clearly the doc couldn’t be bothered to read my notes) and then advised to stop the patches immediately. I broke down, I don’t want to go back to how I was feeling before I just want to feel like me!! Now waiting for an ultrasound and cervical examination, worry sick on top of all my other symptoms and have zero hormone support…… literally feels like the walls are closing in on me.”

“I was having a really tough time going through the perimenopause with really bad mood swings, anxiety, panic attacks, weight loss, extreme fatigue, no energy, hot flushes, and night sweats so eventually I was put on HRT.
This helped but I was still experiencing symptoms. Then two years ago I had a smear test with abnormal cells in my cervix grade 3. After two attempts to remove them without success it was decided I would have a total hysterectomy in June 2023.
Everything has become so much worse since then, I was in a hospital with no gynaecology ward so there was no appropriate after care. Because of complications during surgery I was in hospital longer than expected, I was left six days with no estrogen and not once was I told the devastating affects a hysterectomy would have on my body or mental health.

Whilst in hospital I was soaked in sweat at night, having major anxiety and panic attacks and no one was helping me.
After I was discharged I went home and was told by my doctor to just continue with the four sprays of estrogen I had been taking before the hysterectomy but over the coming months started to experience extreme hair loss, I was actually losing hair with every brush and shampoo, weight loss, the hot flushes were even worse, joint pain and clicking joints, depression and anxiety, I actually felt suicidal. After begging the doctor to help me she finally did a blood test nearly 5 months later after my surgery to check my hormones levels to tell me what I already knew. My hormone levels were practically 0 and the estrogen spray I’d been told to just continue taking from before I’d had the surgery wasn’t enough and clearly wasn’t being absorbed. I was given a patch instead, which was increased to 100mg, after 2 months I’m feeling only slightly better but unfortunately a lot of damage has been done now, because I was left so long with no post op care or support for the menopause, my hair broke off so short it’s now above my shoulders that was traumatic in itself. My whole body is in pain now, I have terrible joint and muscle pain and really loud clicking in my joints, I’m also losing my balance something that wasn’t happening before. I still have no energy, and am exhausted everyday. I felt and still feel completely let done, abandoned and alone. I cannot believe the lack of after care and support post op for women like myself who are thrown into the menopause after surgery. The whole experience was devastating and traumatic. I’m still trying to get help now, and am looking for specialist clinics that can help me but it’s so expensive. The irony is I’m going to be start a Trainee Nursing Associates apprenticeship soon for the NHS. I just want to take this negative experience and use it for good to hopefully support other women like myself in the future because it’s one of the only way to bring about much needed change.”

“Living with Endometriosis and going through chemical menopause at 25…more support is needed!”

“I was told it was depression. I was only 38 when my period stopped, My daughter was nearly two and everyone (doctors, nurses and family) kept saying it was my depression post-partum. Also they assumed it was hard for me to raise a child in a foreign country (I’m Italian). Have been on antidepressants for two years before to discover it was menopause. Much better now I’m on HRT, but still having hard moments.”

“I’m 45. At 40 I trained for and ran a marathon. Training was tough but it’s a marathon right? I was suffering from random joint pain and fatigue but figured it would be better after. Soon after I developed severe hip pains and lower back problems. I couldn’t even stand in the kitchen and cook. The fatigue was unreal, I could barely make it home from work before collapsing. Diagnosed with fibromyalgia, doctor wouldn’t entertain the idea it was hormonal. “Too young” he said even though I felt like my body was ready to give up! Various medication trials and visits later I went to a private GP with a list of everything…itching, chronic pain, chronic fatigue, sweats, irregular periods, anxiety at work, depression, increasing PMDD and so on. Immediately started on HRT and my life was saved. I can function again, I can work, I can drive, I can walk with my family. I wasted 4 years in chronic pain waiting for someone to listen. It affected my career and it affected my children. I’m so unfit as I’ve been unable to exercise. Life’s not perfect but at least I don’t feel like I’m dying anymore.”

“My perimenopause began with two symptoms, heavy bleeding and migraines. I didn't know that menopause was the cause, and the many GPs I saw were not interested in finding the cause or a diagnosis. They only offered painkillers and sent me away. It has taken more than five years, self-diagnosis and much argument and begging to get any treatment at all. I am still struggling because my menopause keeps changing and I don’t think it’s even worth seeing my GP for help.”

“Hi I’m 43 and currently a prison officer. 2 years ago I started getting symptoms of the peri menopause and the doctors kept putting it down to depression and anxiety due to my job. I knew this wasn’t right because I loved my job. I was suffering with every single peri menopause symptom and I honestly thought I was losing my mind. Fast forward 2 years and they have now finally diagnosed me. It’s so frustrating because this could have been sorted a long time ago and I wouldn’t have had to have so much time off work. Lucky work’s been amazing otherwise I would be also out of a job.”

“I am currently on a 70 week waiting list to see a specialist. My peri menopause/ menopause has not been confirmed. I spoke to one of your nurses which was helpful but this waiting feels like an on-going nightmare.”

“I'm 49 - just about to turn 50. I'm still having regular periods but they are much lighter. Several months ago I started experiencing regular UTIs. When I didn't have a UTI I was in excruciating pain "down below". I'm talking debilitating pain. I couldn't leave the house or go to work. I went to my GP four times. I was given 3 lots of antibiotics for the UTIs and co-codomol for the pain. I was told to go to A&E if the pain became unbearable. With nothing to do except ferociously Google my symptoms I started to think I was experiencing menopausal symptoms - symptoms I didn't know you could get with menopause.

Through tears I told my male GP I thought what I was going through was menopause related. He immediately shut me down. He told me that because I'm still having periods it can't possibly be menopause related. He also referred to bloods I had taken a year ago and said my oestrogen levels were fine. I left the surgery feeling utterly desperate. I was lucky enough to be in the position to pay to see a gynaecologist. I counted the days down to the appointment. I was thoroughly examined and all my symptoms were listened to and noted. She told me I had severe vaginal atrophy and that I was red raw. I burst into tears with relief - I thought I was going mad. I'm now a week into an HRT regime so early days but I can see a chink of light. My GP failed me massively.”

“I’ve just turned 49 and the past few years have been challenging.

We moved to another part of the U.K, gave up careers and bought a business.
On paper it sounds idyllic- beautiful village, semi successful business, meeting great people but the reality is far from that.

My mother and aunt informed me that 48 was the age they started with the menopause but I believe I started younger and put how I was feeling down to grief.

In 2020 I had managed the sale of the house, buying a new house and buying a business. I couldn’t do that today. My memory is shocking, I can barely remember what I’ve just read or listened to.
That’s the worst symptom for me, the lack of concentration and this is turn causes self-doubt, anxiety and fear.

I can handle hot sweats, the feeling of irritability, itchy ears and the occasional breakout but brain fog is the most debilitating feeling. I can no longer read, a hobby I’ve enjoyed all my life.
My employer sometimes thinks I’m dim as I’ve made mistakes. My relationship with my sister-in-law has been damaged as we clash.

What I have done is be proactive and now I’m on HRT.

The GP’s I seen have been amazing and I’m lucky that there’s been no shortage of HRT in my area.
It’s helping but I thought it would ‘fix’ me. I am still broken yet I hide how I feel.

I don’t think I’ll ever be ’me’ again. If doesn’t help that my small circle of friends although recognising the menopause don’t want HRT so I’ve no one to talk to about it.”

“I went to the GP initially presenting with what I thought were Ovarian cancer symptoms (have very strong family history). Was told was way too young at 26, but that basically would have a scan and bloods to “humour me”. Okay it wasn’t ovarian cancer. It was POI instead. So still something very wrong with my ovaries regardless. I am having menopause symptoms at the age of 26. He didn’t say anything about being too young for that once I was diagnosed….. “too young for that” it just a toxic statement regardless of what’s wrong.”

“I was 48 years old. I started to feel awful, unmotivated, thought I was depressed, couldn’t sleep, body aches and started having debilitating anxiety for the first time in my life. I went to the GP and he said I was too young to be in menopause. I argued to get the test done anyway. He said no. I told him to order me the test, and if I was wrong, I would apologise. He finally did. My oestrogen levels were on the floor. First lesson in my menopause journey…stand up for yourself…you know your body.”

“At the turn of 2023, aged 44, I suddenly felt like I wasn’t myself. Crippling morning anxiety, low mood, constantly crying and feeling very lost in myself with horrific heavy periods and an unpredictable cycle. At the start of March I rang my GP and spoke to the ANP who requested I had some bloods done and a full health check. All of which were “normal.” I visited the extended hours GP and explained I felt I was peri-menopausal. His first suggestion was anti-depressants. I took them and felt a lot worse and several side effects. He referred me for CBT and in that conversation my therapist suggested I re contact the GP to discuss HRT. I did so and had the most frustrating conversation, again with the ANP. She said she wouldn’t consider HRT as I was still having periods and no hot flushes. She referred me to Adult Gynae for a Mirena Coil. Disappointed and bewildered and further sinking into despair I reached out and found a GP locally and moved to a new practice. I saw my new GP the next day and after a face-to-face consultation I was prescribed the HRT I knew I desperately needed. In just 2 weeks I feel like a new woman and infinitely better.”

“So finally, having gone through the perimenopause and being told my itchy skin was nothing and just try some natural remedies I was a bit loathed to go to ask for HRT in case I was dismissed. Anyway, eventually I went and last May was prescribed HRT patches. They worked a miracle, the hot night sweats literally disappeared overnight, the itching went and brain fog lifted. However in March this year I started to bleed. After two and a half weeks of continual bleeding I called to make a DRs appointment and was told they couldn’t see me for 5 weeks. I explained I was concerned about the continuous bleeding as I was menopausal and using the patches. Anyway finally my appointment came along and I was prepared for loads of questions. Absolutely nothing and so I started to feed the Dr the info about when my last smear was, when I started HRT, the bleeding, and so they did an internal and swabs sent off and I would be referred for a pelvic infrasound as an urgent case. Fast forward my swab results (all for sexually transmitted diseases - no questions asked about my sex life and I’ve been with my partner for 22 years!!) I was a bit frustrated as you can imagine. Anyway went for a pelvic ultrasound both external and internal and thankfully everything looks absolutely fine. I’ve now been bleeding since mid March and so back to the Drs. Been scary times as Dr not really explaining anything and I’ve just kept googling and scaring myself. I’m just worried they are not going to do anything and just tell me to stay off HRT (I stopped my patch Monday after seeing them).”

“Found out in 2015 I had a large fibroid. Was left for 5 years with no minimally invasive treatment options offered. Saw private consultant in 2019 as an otherwise very healthy and fit 41-year-old, (as I wanted to see what my other options were), who put me on Zoladex (totally unnecessary and ruined my life). Told hysterectomy would solve issues as fibroid too large so went ahead in 2020.
Was put on HRT (Tibolone) in 2019 due to symptoms on Zoladex. Was kept on for 14 months which was way longer than advised however, I was not aware of this as my GP kept giving me the injections. When I finished, I had menopausal symptoms from Zoladex and when I asked the GP if my system would start working again after a certain amount of time they said I was menopausal without doing any blood tests to confirm this and started me on oral estrogen HRT. Was kept on oral tablets for 15 months then moved area and new GP would not give me the tablets as I had an occasional headache (maybe once or twice in the 15 months and not a migraine!) so struggled on patches due to fluctuations in hormones and absorption issues. Got symptoms in May 2022 and told I had a large ovarian cyst. Fast forward to now 6 weeks post op for oophorectomy which I also don't feel was necessary but surgeon advised so that cysts would not come back. I have completely abandoned by my surgeon who will not entertain any HRT discussions.

My hormones are crashing so I am struggling with symptoms that are very severe. I have tried estrogen gel, patches, spray, an implant plus testogel (this seems to help slightly) however, my estrogen has reached a high level with very low progesterone and testosterone. For months I have had such severe joint and bone pain that I am now being checked for arthritis. I feel completely let down by a system that should support women going through a chemical or surgically induced menopause. Why should we be treated as if we are going through a natural menopause which in a lot of cases can be less severe and more gradual.

The whole experience that I have had has ruined not only my body but what was a pretty fantastic life full of fitness. I do not know who I am anymore. I feel lost and am grateful to have connected with some others who have been a fantastic support. I have got so low that I have considered not being here anymore due to the constant symptoms and pain however, I am determined to try and have as enjoyable a life as I can. This has affected my work my confidence and I have stopped socialising as my joint pain is so bad I can only walk for short periods of time. Not the life that I am sure like many others thought that I would have and makes me incredibly sad that some professionals do not make you fully aware of surgical procedure and medication negative after effects so that you can make informed decisions about your health and so that you can have as enjoyable a life instead of just feeling like you are existing.

The knowledge that is widely available in relation to women's health and hormones now is fantastic however, there is still a very long way to go when dealing with consultants and GPs so that females like myself do not go through life changing procedures or unnecessary medication that can alter your life in a negative way!”

“Aged 41 I hit HRT through Newson Health. It seems I went into menopause at 32 after an endometrial ablation. On many occasions prior to Newson Health I spoke to my GP and was told I was too young. I was told every time that I’m probably just depressed. My last period was when I was 32.

After Newson Health prescribed HRT I spoke to my GP and asked if they would continue my prescriptions, I was told again I was too young. This year, 2023, after some challenged in my business, I wasn’t able to pay for the Newson appt or prescription, so I went back to my GP, still no support. I’m now three months without HRT and I can’t sleep again, my night sweats are back and I’m having panic attacks almost daily. The HRT made me feel normal for the first time in almost 10 years and now I’m a nervous overweight anxious mess again and getting nowhere with my GP. I can’t carry on like this and I shouldn’t have to.”

“I’ve had literally all the perimenopausal symptoms for ages. I even had the hot flushes last summer but they have completely stopped now. I’m still on hormonal contraception (progesterone only) which seems to have stopped these. I was started on anti-depressants for anxiety which have helped. My most debilitating symptom is the exhaustion- it’s constant and totally overwhelming at times. I have spoken to the doctor about this several times and was advised that my symptoms - exhaustion, anxiety, weight gain, zero libido, itchy skin was more likely to be sleep apnea or hypothyroidism than peri-menopause. I was 42 at the time. Too young apparently. They were supposed to book me in for a blood test but I never heard anything and then I couldn’t face phoning the GP surgery to be on hold for 2 hours just for a blood test for hypothyroidism I’m pretty sure I don’t have. It’s put me off asking for help.”

“I had my last period in September 2022 I had been peri-menopausal for 6/7 years. I went on HRT patches one year later which really helped with night sweats. In October 2022 I had some blood appear. I went to the GP who did a two-week referral to the gynaecology clinic, which on my notes had me down as a cancer query, this scared me as you can imagine. Within 2 weeks I had an appointment where I was given an internal scan & then taken for a hysteroscopy, they found 2 polyps which were cut out & sent for a biopsy. Thankfully they were benign. They recommended my GP started me on a progesterone tablet 100mg Utrogestan to be taken at night, to be reviewed 3 months later. So, 3 months later & still having 3/4weekly bleeding the menopause nurse increased to Utrogestan to 2 tablets each night. 1 month later & still having regular 3/4 weekly bleeding so I am utterly confused by all of this & up to now no answers as to why when I hadn’t had a period for 2 years.”

“Over the last few months my symptoms have increased with anxiety being the worst! My heart pounds, I can’t think straight, I feel completely out of control & tears are never far away. I can’t get a Dr’s appointment, not for want of trying. The surgery sent me a menopause questionnaire which I completed and was then told I was on a waiting list for a group Zoom session BEFORE I can get a 1-2-1 with a Dr! I feel desperate, I don’t know what to do. I’m a manager in quite a pressured environment which until now I’ve thrived on, now I feel utterly useless and overwhelmed. I know what’s wrong I just need help and I can’t get it. I’m lost…..”

“I went to see my doctor yesterday for my annual carer’s appointment. I haven’t had one in 4 years! I asked her about HRT. She is in her mid to late 40’s and a good doctor ordinarily. However, when I told her I have anxiety, brain fog, palpitations but NOT hot flushes, she dismissed the idea of HRT. It’s only given for hot flushes or itchy skin apparently! I mentioned the prevention of dementia which she dismissed. She told me to exercise for my anxiety. She said the cause of many problems are drinking, smoking and being overweight. I’m slim and don’t drink or smoke. I mentioned bone health and she said something about only giving HRT to women in their 30’s with horrendous menopause symptoms to protect their bones. So what? I’m I too late at 53 to protect my bones. She told me to drink milk! She also told me Davina McCall was a headache for doctors and was the reason for HRT shortages!”

“Firstly, just to say I have been very fortunate in that my GP happily prescribed HRT for me after one phone call and a further appointment, she also fitted the coil for this at the same time, considered the 'gold standard' of HRT treatment. The gel has been an absolute life saver. However, I have experienced massive levels of anxiety, and by massive, I mean life affecting. I have never experienced anything like this previously in my life, sure I have had the usual levels of stress and anxiety that us women have, but on the whole these are manageable. I have felt completely lost, useless, surplus to requirements and have struggled to find focus and purpose. I never would have foreseen this impact caused by the menopause, physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually, it is all encompassing.

I have a male manager who is 30 years old, not his fault, but trying to explain the symptoms and associated issues of the menopause in meetings has been really really really frustrating. I have had to take time off from work, mentally I could not cope with it, the solution I was offered? Attend a menopause 'course' because 'it will be good for me to hear other women's stories'. The year is 2023, not 1903. This is NOT acceptable anymore!”

“I was 43 and working as a teacher when I started experiencing peri-menopausal symptoms. I was having periods every two to three weeks, awful PMT and I was suddenly totally unable to cope. One week there was a period of observation and learning walks at school and by the end of the week by anxiety levels were sky high. I went out for dinner at the end of the week and could not shake the feeling I was not ok. I must have looked pretty awful as at one point the waiter came to see if I was alright. I made an appointment to see my GP, was signed off with stress and decided to resign from my job. I spent a whole year with no job. After a year I went back to the GPs and saw a nurse practitioner. She said it could not possibly be hormonal as I was too young but would run some tests. The tests came back to say I was in the menopausal range and shortly after my periods stopped altogether. I am now menopausal and ironically I feel better than I did when I was peri, largely because I know what is happening and can take steps to look after myself. I am also back at work.
It's a shame that there is not enough quality support, education and advice for all women relating to the menopause as this would have been hugely beneficial to me.”

“I’m a 42-year-old perimenopausal writer from Aberdeen currently living in Malta. I've written a very honest article in an attempt to communicate what it's really like to experience menopause symptoms because I'm becoming increasingly frustrated with it being described as "hot flushes and mood swings". My experience has bordered on the traumatic and I wish I'd known the reality of perimenopause before it hit.

I also wrote it in order to share the treatment that was available to me here in Malta compared to the fight that my friends in the UK seem to constantly experience. Here you can get the HRT implant privately, something that I believe is not easily available throughout Europe due to its low profitability. I also got it quickly as my gynaecologist was so concerned about my wellbeing, again speed of treatment not being something my friends in the UK have experienced.”

“I had gone to see a (locum) GP because I felt tired, not myself and like needed “sugar in my tea”. Couldn’t explain it but felt unlike my normal self. I’ve never had depression, never been up or down, always been someone who gets up and gets on with the day. The GP asked if I might be depressed. He brought it up several times. I said I didn’t feel that at all, just that I was living in 3rd gear rather than my usual 4/5. In the end he had nothing to offer me and when I questioned this, he told me, if I tried to make an appointment with him he would refuse to see me!

I had been very calm, very polite but I questioned why I wasn’t feeling myself. He had no answer.
At that time I was in my mid-forties and I suspect peri-menopausal..

In my fifties I met with a female GP (during the pandemic) who was thoroughly amazing. She went out of her way to make an appointment especially in a very difficult time. She prescribed medication and couldn’t have been better. It turned out she was a GP who specialised in women’s health and knew a lot about the menopause - there should be one in every GP practice! If not more.”

“At the age of 37 I was failed by my doctor. I sat in the consulting room asking if I had a hormone problem as the only time I’d had skin problems and the exhaustion in the past, was during pregnancy when my hormones were changing and I absolutely was not pregnant now. But I was brushed aside as too young and sent off with a course of steroids.

In hindsight that was the start of my menopause. More symptoms accumulated but I always felt I was making it up and everyone else felt like this, that I was just rubbish. Little did I know this was menopause as a result of cystic teratomas encapsulating my ovaries and affecting function. It was only at the age of 44, with crippling back pain that they were found by accident during an osteopathy session where they asked to do an X-ray.

Within a month I found myself in surgery - full hysterectomy and bilateral oophorectomy. A whirlwind of stress and worry but finally the all clear, none of the 4 tumours were malignant, cannot be more grateful to my surgeon - the surgery freed me from many gynae problems. However, my post operative support has been absolutely nonexistent. I cannot believe post operative support has been so poor - all woman going through this should automatically been seen by a menopause clinic until their treatment is sorted. My GP has no idea what to do with me - they immediately put me on HRT at my 6 week post operative check up as requested and then - nothing. I’ve been left to decide how much HRT to use and just to let them know. When I call, the GP doesn’t deal with HRT, only the nurse in the ‘women’s clinic’. However I’ve only been asked what I want her to prescribe and told that there is no menopause clinic in this area.

A year ago I contracted covid and have had vertigo on and off since. However I lost my hearing and ended up at endocrinology where they said my blood work was very poor and my HRT didn’t appear to be working and I needed to see a menopause clinic specialist. Not sure how I do this when there is no menopause clinic. They suggested my symptoms of exhaustion, headaches, vertigo, brain fuddling, weight gain, very very low mood, non existent libido and get up and gone motivation are all attributable to my poor blood work and surgical menopause, but can I get help - No! We shouldn’t be failing women like this, not when this is surgically induced and a predictable outcome.
Whilst HRT and the surgery have improved my life to some extent, I feel that if someone was interested and wanted to help me, my quality of life could be so much better. I just don’t know if I can save up the cash to go private, but the real point is, we shouldn’t need to, this should be part of standard post operative care.

 Please keep promoting change in our NHS procedures - I don’t want my daughters to be failed in the way I have. Diagnosis & treatment of early menopause and after care from treatment all need to be better in our NHS!”

“At 44, I started getting pains in my hands - really bad that I couldn't open anything tight. I started to wear a support for driving as my wrists hurt. I started feeling pains like I'd worked out hard the day before when in reality I didn't have the energy to work out and hadn't for about a year. It was only when my friend suggested perimenopause and suggested us writing a list of symptoms that I realised there were lots of things! The first doctor said I was tired because I drove a lot and didn't even comment on the pains I was feeling or the brain fog, or any of the other symptoms!! Because I was 44 and not 45, I had to have a blood test which showed nothing only delayed everything by 8 weeks Luckily for me being pushy I got the HRT after only 3 months of trying. Had I realised what this was, I would've got HRT over a year ago when the first symptoms started harassing me! I always thought it'd be hot flushes I was looking for which was not the case at all!”

“I am Brazilian and I live in the UK for 2 years.
I started the more intense symptoms of Menopause here in 2021, hot flushes all the time, night sweating. I started the HRT in June/21 without any exams to understand and new my body; the GP gave me the pills and that’s it.

I started the pills and 3 months later nothing changed, still the same but with a new thing
brain fog. I had moved to another place and another GP, this time a woman that was a little more sympathetic about my symptoms. So, she gave me oestrogen jelly and Progesterone in pills, but I’m allergic to Soy and the pills from the NHS only come with Soy lecithin, so we try to use the Mirena coil, without success because my cervix is too closed, I need to go to the sex clinic, but the sex clinic do not introduce the Mirena for menopause and won’t give me an appointment.

I am using the patches since June/22 and know I have strong pain in my right ovary and no images/ exams asked, I even told the GP that I was suffered from endometriosis. And she told me this Menopause treatment is very simple. But how can it be? I am depressed, I am not sleeping, I feeling pain in my whole body, in particularly in my hips, and right ovary. And in 8th March I will attend a Gynecology appointment by phone!!! How can a gynecologist treat me by phone without exams, without touching? I am in pain, my legs are heavy and my vagina is so dry. I do not have any energy, and the brain fog is terrible.

I never did a mammography here, and I went to a private gynecologist, she asked for image exams and bloods but I couldn’t afford it. I am so stressed and tired and I am having lots of problems to go to work, I am always tired.

To me it seems that the government do not take care of women’s health.”

“At 43 I thought I was losing myself. Previously confident, savvy and on it, I had turned into an anxious, forgetful, headachy, miserable mess who barely slept and didn't know why. My GP confirmed after a blood test that it was perimenopause - he also said it could last up to 10 years, HRT was full of risks and that was that. After another 6 months of misery a different GP advised me that I needed to exercise and drink less alcohol (I was already a regular swimmer and drank very little) and that every woman goes through this and again sent away with nothing. Once I went back for a third time, armed with the NICE guidelines for early menopause and understanding benefits and risks of HRT, I was eventually prescribed and immediately hit by shortages (this was back in early 2020). Once I got the hormones in me, I felt a new woman. I strongly believe women (of all ages) and GPs need educating into all the different symptoms of menopause and support available. I had no understanding that my symptoms could be menopause as all I knew was hot flushes. I praise people for making this something more spoken about.”

“Wow where do I start?!
My journey off hell!!
I started to feel a little on edge and sicky a feeling off not feeling like me but couldn’t put my finger on it and it all began with that knot that sits right in stomach!!
I decided to call my GP and had a telephone appointment, I was prescribed antidepressants and told it was because of the pandemic I felt anxious. This did not sit right with me.

By June I think I Called my GP 60 times, I was told I had panic disorder and was put on heavy sleeping anti-depressants plus fluoxetine - another antidepressant.

The symptoms I went to my Dr with were…

Insomnia, Nausea, Muffled hearing, Burning mouth, Intrusive thoughts, Anxiety that you cannot explain, Permanent bad tummy, Dry mouth, Night sweats, Loss of appetite, Not feeling myself. The list honestly continues - Itchy skin, Palpitations, Adrenaline rush in night, I could go on ..

July, I go back to my doctor and say I want blood tests and don’t feel this is panic disorder as I am feeling so many symptoms. I have blood tests 24 hour heart monitor you name it I had it!! All came back clear but to be honest I actually wanted them to say to me they found something, so I knew I wasn’t going mad .

I was told to go away and do some meditation and try and relax. I knew there was more to this!!

August I must have seen 6 Therapists and had acupuncture plus was told to see a psychotherapist at the priory at £400 a pop. I used every penny I had to pay for these Therapist’s. They did not help!!

By September I was so sleep deprived I didn’t care if I lived or died, I was beyond wanting to carry on like this. I have 2 children so I knew I had to find the strength to pull myself up (don’t actually know how).

Being at my wits end and help from my poor dad who is on his own after losing my mum 30 years ago, he paid for me to go privately. I had blood tests and told the hormone specialist my 45 symptoms. My results came back and she told me my my oestrogen was in my boots and no wonder I was feeling this way; as well as my oestrogen my progesterone and testosterone was ridiculously low!!!

I felt like I won the lottery!! Finally, an answer I hadn’t fully lost the plot and made all these symptoms up which is how I felt everyone saw it!!

I also had scans and internals that confirmed things are changing. Knowing what I know now with having to do all my own research and thanks to women reaching out on Instagram I cannot believe how many women suffer and I mean really suffer!!

Why is peri menopausal not spoken about? Women from the age of 35 should be aware of this, it’s utterly disgusting the fact there was no one who could help me for a year and a half as there is no doctor in my surgery that deals with women’s health; no wonder so many women commit suicide!!

I still have really hard days but just having the understanding of what it is it stopped me fearing the fear!!

I am now training to become a menopause doula to help other woman. I hope my kids never experience this without knowing what the hell is happening to them.

Thank you to all who have helped me along this crazy journey they say what doesn’t kill your makes you stronger!!”

“When I turned 40 my confidence was the best it had ever been, finally being happy being me without justifying myself to the world.. woohoo! Forward 5+ years and my confidence, my memory, my response to the world was all changing.. it all seemed to decline rapidly and at once!. I thought I was developing dementia and I didn’t tell a soul I was too embarrassed … the paranoia and self doubt was overwhelming.. I cried silently and I had just achieved a high level post in my NHS career in healthcare.. so it must be me I thought. So I took a side step away from my job role hoping no one would notice then spent the next 2 years regretting it and questioning if I was really good enough. I’ve been on oestrogen and progesterone for the last 3 years as well as exercising 5 days per week every week and reading up on every breathing exercise out there (I’m a health professional!) Things seemed to improve slowly but I’ve dipped terribly over the last 6+ months.. anxiety, low mood, joint pain like you wouldn’t believe and I just can’t find that old pazaaz.. I miss the old me terribly. I finally built up the courage to ask my GP about Testosterone, been waiting for a response for over 2 weeks now 🤞🏽I’m sick of feeling old. Goodness knows how previous generations have coped, or maybe they just didn’t…”

“I was 42 when I first went to the GP with main symptoms being loss of energy, weight gain, awful anxiety, low mood, night sweats, forgetfulness and insomnia. I was offered anti-anxiety medication and I refused. I asked for bloods which they told me came back normal. The next 18 months I spent doing everything else I could, changed my diet, exercised more, yoga, meditation, walking. Although it improved things a bit, I still wasn’t myself. I researched peri menopause and rang the GP insistent that I was given HRT. The GP I spoke to advised me that because I was still having regular periods I couldn’t have HRT. He offered me anti depression medication. Luckily, I was informed so I pointed to the NICE guidelines and asked to see a menopause informed Dr. He referred me to a college who was happy to prescribe HRT. It’s changed my life. Where I live GPs can’t prescribe testosterone so I was put on a waiting list for that. After a year or waiting I had an appointment and am in the process of having it prescribed. However, there are still lots of challenges with shortages of the medication and a GP that refuses to prescribe any more than 3 months a time even though I’m not under any review. So, when you’re paying for 2 elements each time that adds up.
I wish things were easier for women. This affected my job, my relationships, my ability to parent and my self-esteem so much. I thought I was going mad. Everyone still says I’m too young but I’m approaching 45 and feel the best I’ve felt in years thanks to the HRT.”

“My gynae consultant (after years of suffering with adenomyosis, endometriosis and large ovarian cysts) told me I should remove both ovaries along with a total hysterectomy if I wanted to find relief. I asked him to help me to make sure my hormones were right after surgery as I didn't want to go into the surgical menopause at 37 without the right hormones. He said he would make sure of it.
The tablet form of HRT he prescribed was making me feel anxious and panicky, my arms and legs hurt and I’d lost all my confidence overnight, I felt dreadful. I asked him several times to help me and both him and his nurse practitioner told me the type of HRT I was on did not cause the side effects I was talking about and gaslit me for causing my own anxiety. In the end I sought help from a menopause consultant (who is also a consultant gynecologist) who confirmed the HRT I was using was not correct for me and could cause all those side effects. He changed my HRT and within 2 weeks I felt like a different person. I felt human again and all the symptoms I was previously experiencing eased.

To add on another topic I think the situation with GPs and pharmacists in the UK making surgical menopause patients feel they have to justify their treatment continuously (even when a consultant has prescribed it) and the continuous trying to change your HRT is not acceptable. I use estradiol and progesterone and to be told I don't need both is very frustrating. The understanding around menopause and particularly surgical menopause alongside gynecological conditions within medical professionals is absolutely dreadful. I never see any other people in pharmacies being questioned like I am in front of a pharmacy full of people about medication.
All the time having to say' I have no ovaries' or ' I don't have a womb or cervix' is extremely insensitive.”

“I was 42 and just started my dream job as a management consultant for a prestigious firm. Hot flushes, anxiety, weight gain, joint pain and suicidal thoughts led me to my GP. It took 18 months for them to do blood tests and tell me my “…oestrogen has gone on holiday”. By which time my symptoms and self-doubt were so extreme that I’d quit my job as couldn’t cope and felt incapable. HRT is now helping me survive but I’ll never get that job back - my confidence is shattered.”

“I have been having hormonal Migraines since I turned 40. For the last 5 years the migraines took out all my weekend every month, along with exacerbating my Ehlers Danlos Syndrome symptoms (which is a faulty collagen gene affecting all my connective tissue and ligaments);  it also impacted my Autonomic condition called POTs (whose symptoms are extremely similar to hot flushes and include brain fog and chronic fatigue and sleep disturbance).

The dryness started a few years ago, making it incredibly painful to wear tampons and to have sex. My libido took a massive dive and my brain fog got worse. In 2022 all my histamine levels went berserk and I thought I had suddenly become allergic to my dog. I have begged for HRT but GPs have been over cautious due to my underlying conditions but finally I got my trial in December and got estriol cream a month prior. Within 2 weeks my histamine levels corrected themselves and I haven't had a single migraine since starting. My Blood pressure has gone down...(it was high before due to the stress of all my other symptoms being elevated and ignored as I was too young and my blood tests were never an accurate description). I have lost half my hair I'm the process! I am 45 now and wish someone had listened earlier. You have to really fight, particularly if you have underlying conditions as medical professionals are too scared, they may make a mess of it. I may have early onset osteoporosis now as a result of not getting help quick enough so I can't state enough to all you ladies how important it is to get your estrogen. Keep fighting the good fight! And thank you Davina and everyone else working hard for this cause, for raising awareness, as without you I wouldn't have fought so hard for what is rightfully owed to me as a woman. Laws need to change to make the prescriptions free for all this stuff too... just saying.... xxxx”

“In early 2022 I started to suffer, what I now know as perimenopause symptoms. I had over 20 and legitimately thought I was dying. I mentioned perimenopause to my GP and was told I was too young and put on anti-anxiety meds. Unsurprisingly things didn’t get better. Despite three further GP visits armed with symptoms, a journal and the NICE guidelines, I was still ignored and spoken down to. Eventually I paid for a private medical plan where, after listening to me, I was instantly diagnosed and prescribed HRT. Within a mere three days things started to improve. It makes me so angry that we have to fight so hard to be heard. Things really need to change.”

“Myself and my two colleagues put it to the CEO of the charity we work for that a Menopause Policy would be helpful as we were all suffering a range of menopausal symptoms. We looked at other charities policies, wrote our own and sent it to the CEO to present to our Board of Trustees for sign off. Despite chasing three-four times over the next year the policy was never signed off or made 'live'. Two years on and through a restructure two of us have now been made redundant - both feeling and having evidence that we have been gas lighted and that this was unfair dismissal. Both the CEO and the Chair of the charity we worked for are female.”

“Having seen BBC Breakfast and other reports, it has dawned on me that during nearly all of my fifties I had menopause symptoms in my head mainly. I worked in a school with people who were older than me who should have understood, but chose to talk about me instead. A male boss 20 years younger who had no idea. I had symptoms of feeling inadequate even though I was very well qualified at my job. I had brain fog, but didn't realise this was a menopause symptom. For the last five years I have worked as a successfully self-employed English and Maths tutor as I felt I no longer was the right fit for the work place and was unemployable, and also because I have a muscle disease too which causes mobility difficulties and a second workplace didn't show support. Although a mother and having friends, I have also been on my own for a long time, again believing I was not the right fit anymore for anything.

I am now 60 and have realised this by looking back, so thank you. None of the reports and awareness was out there 10 years ago. All of this has caused depression that, at times, doctors don't understand.

I really wish I was 10 years younger and I would have the knowledge now before I became menopausal.”

My story is.
My GP refuses to give me any blood tests, just wants to ‘trial’ differing meds.
EVEN THOUGH..
I have had maternal cancer in family, and am concerned.
I have had allergic reaction to progesterone.
I have had adverse reaction to the combo oestrogen and progesterone, ended up in a 3 week heavy bleed…
AND SCANS AND BIOPSIES…
AND two gynae doc at KINGS HOSPITAL…
Stating in letters that I should be referred to the specialist clinic at KINGS HOSPITAL…
My GP refuses to refer me.
The clinic states she is a ‘menopause expert’…
Yet I keep presenting with anxiety and concerns about my reactions to HRT, as well as the potential long term effects of taking anything.
Whilst many friends of mine, in other GPs are being referred immediately…
Even without any adverse effects, or family history of cancer that may add to concerns.
I am sick of all the embalmed celebs…printing their journeys.
Because we all know they are getting private fast track support..
And it gives a false impression of the real world.
I actually think…
It’s the PSYCHOLOGICAL aspects that are really problematic…
No-one really wants to talk, listen, trouble shoot…
When women are literally turning into different people, it feels like almost overnight…
Many women are in complete denial.
The amount of women who say… “didn’t effect me..”
Then go on to list all the differing ‘changes’ they have experienced over the ages from 45-55..
Blows my mind. That then..
When pointed out that could have been the menopause, it is met with complete dismissive ness, that this is just something to complain about…or it’s all in the imagination.

Very divisive subject.

And let’s talk about ANDROPAUSE !!!!
Men and women need to address both sides of the coin..
Because I’m sick of women being the only ones with hormones…that may change…

“Looking back, I started perimenopause in my late 30's early 40's. I went to the doctor twice to talk to them about this, was dismissed but pacified by getting a blood test, which came back 'clear'. Fast forward to 49/50 years old - the night sweats, the hot flushes the mood swings and middle age spread - I had perimenopause - didn't I? Another blood test which came back with nothing and I was told to have a good weekend - I burst into tears because I knew whatever was going on, didn't feel right. That was Feb 2021. It took me until Nov 2021 to start HRT. I never saw a doctor- I did an e-consult and almost had to beg for HRT, so got patches for 3 months. They worked for 6 months, then the effect of them wore off. I couldn't get an appointment with a doctor, so had to do another e-consult so got a higher dosage of patches, with tablets. These stopped doing the job after 3 months, so another e-consult!!!!! I need to add, my reviews have been via text message!!!!!
Perimenopause/menopause has absolutely floored me. I have never seen a medical professional and I have had to rely on doctor google and friends for information and support. I don’t know if my dosage is correct, I don’t know if there is something else I should have done or should do, but I hope other women do not go through what I have gone through as I am at the lowest point of my life ever!”

“There seems to be so much of a desire to get us out of the GP office with drugs rather than take the time to speak to us. If we are lucky, we get someone who actually gets what we are going through. Nobody tells you we are all different, that we could completely lose our libido, that we will need to walk with a fan, flannel and a change of top from anything between 2 and 10 years; that minor symptoms stay or itching is one, we have to find this all out ourselves and spend too much money sorting it.

I eventually paid for all my meds myself as the cost on prescription was not feasible on my salary had I gone down the HRT route, having heard from friends how much it costs and how often you have to get it. 8 years of self-management, bad sleep and sometimes feeling like you just wanted to rip your clothes off and sit in front of a regulated fan all day rather than go to work as not knowing the temperature of transport was in itself so stressful.”

“I was 13yrs old it was 1989 I felt so dreadful, little did I know it was early menopause.
I struggled through school with hot sweats, no periods, low self-esteem, poor mental health. I felt so ashamed I did not tell anyone until I was 25yrs old....over a decade of no hormones.

I got diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure at age 25 & diagnosed with lichen planus which is vulva disease at age 30 due to no estrogen for so long. I have endured 7 gynecology operations including a total hysterectomy Vaginectomy & pending my sixth vulva surgery. Early menopause has almost destroyed me. We must break the stigma so no other young girl suffers in silence like I did.”

“I was 19 and attending the gynecology department because my periods were non-existent. I was told then it was early ovarian failure (extremely early menopause). I have no idea why it took the next 10yrs to convince my G.P to come to the same conclusion. So, after 10 years of different antidepressants, painkillers and different assessments for various different conditions. They finally agreed on a simple blood test to check my hormones and of course I was at post menopause Hormone level.

Menopause ruined my 20s, my self-esteem and my faith in G.Ps. I am just grateful of my partner of 14yrs has handled it all very well, for him being 3 years younger than me.”

“My menopause journey started at age 33, 2 years ago. I entered chemical menopause whilst I waited for my total hysterectomy and bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy. Chemical menopause was an intense 9 months, but it brought immediate (and much needed) relief from my severe PMDD and Adenomyosis. It showed me I was definitely doing the right thing in having my surgery.

After my surgery I was plunged face first into surgical menopause. The symptoms started immediately. My symptoms included almost constant hot flushes, insomnia, depression and anxiety, mood swings, suicidality, brain fog, joint pain, and much more. I have also really struggled with histamine reaction since being in surgical menopause, too. I had tried to prepare myself as much as I possibly could pre-surgery, but nothing would fully prepare me for what was to come.

Initially I had no medical support and was even discharged from my gynecologist! My GP wouldn't, and still won't, go near my HRT due to it being surgical menopause. I felt completely alone. I had to save up to pay to see a surgical menopause specialist. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't found her, but I can't afford to go as much as I need to, so I have to figure out a lot of this on my own, along with the help of the online menopause community.

In terms of HRT, I have tried oestrogen patches, gel, and spray, but didn't absorb any of them. My symptoms raged on. I'm now on oral oestrogen, and have had to increase my dose to a high amount, but it's the best I've felt in years. There's still a way to go, but I feel grateful to finally be on the right track. I've dabbled with testosterone, which initially felt like the missing piece and was amazing in helping with motivation, energy, focus and libido, but then I started to develop side effects (which included uncontrollable feelings of anger, irritability, and aggression), so I have drastically lowered my dose. I miss the benefits I felt from it, but couldn't cope with the side effects.

Surgical menopause has felt a lot like PMDD at times (when my HRT hasn't been right), and has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs, so it feels really scary to not know when the next dip in my mental health is going to come and how I'm going to deal with it. I live in fear of the mental health symptoms of surgical menopause and how intense they can be, but I am also grateful that right now I'm doing okay.

There needs to be so much more support and education around surgical menopause. I love the increasing awareness that menopause is getting, but surgical menopause is still not talked about enough and frequently overlooked. Surgical menopause is incredibly lonely, and the symptoms are so intense and debilitating, that we just cannot afford to not have more support.

Thank you for reading and for all that you do to raise awareness about menopause!”

“I no longer want to live in shame or silence. I had hormonal IUD inserts for years following the birth of my children. I decided to get the last one removed last year after 3 years of insertion because it no longer felt natural and I had hoped my menstrual cycle would return. It did not right away; instead I wound up in a mental institution before my body could make up for the hormone depletion. I was not myself for 4.5 months until I could rebound and stabilize. The crying, insomnia, anxiety, paranoia was CRUSHING! I didn't know what was happening at the time, my husband tried everything including brain scans which ultimately landed me in the system of mental health. I was "diagnosed" with bi-polar and substance abuse because I disclosed I drank wine. This absolutely has to stop, people must become aware. I lost all my female friends because they've never heard of such a thing. I consider myself extremely fortunate I wasn't working outside the home at the time. Ultimately my menstrual cycle has returned but I am well aware of the crisis menopause can bring and will be sure to start HRT at the first sign of changes. We have to educate many more people. Thank you for this cause and bringing awareness to Women's needs.”

“I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure (very early menopause) when I had just turned 34, symptoms had been on going over a year before, these were; insomnia, headaches, brain fog, hot flushes, lower sex drive, joint pain, heightened anxiety, low mood amongst other.

I was told I was menopausal by a GP receptionist over the phone. My GP told me it was up to me if I wanted to go on HRT - this is not following the guidance for this condition. I asked to see a specialist they sent me to a gynecologist who told me to go on the pill as that's better than HRT and would give me better outcomes. I've since found out that's completely wrong.

Since being diagnosed I have gained nearly 5 stone and lost a whole lot of who I am as a person. In 2019 I nearly divorced my husband of 12 years due to constant arguing fueled by my hormones so thankful he was understanding and we went to couples therapy together.

I eventually paid privately for a hormone specialist on advice of my therapist I started seeing this year due to anxiety. I am now feeling much better on the right medication (tablets, patches, cream and gel!) but still a long way to go to undo the damage the last 5 years has done to me.

The hormone specialist also prescribed me testosterone which I had to pay for privately as GP would not prescribe it. However after seeing a locum who understood the menopause I now have it on repeat saving me over £120 a tube. Ps thanks to this my sex drive is back with a vengeance.”

“I was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a mastectomy and radiotherapy. Then I was put on tamoxifen without any warning that it would put me into a chemical menopause. I thought I was going mad. My brain fog, anxiety and night sweats were awful. I phoned my cancer nurse who said, "oh that'll be the tamoxifen" and that was the end of the conversation. I can't go on HRT as my cancer was Oestrogen driven and have had very little support on this from Oncologist or GP.

I'm surviving rather than thriving but being told l should feel lucky to be alive. I have no quality of life. I am worried about dementia, stroke, heart disease and Osteoporosis developing as well, and have had to change jobs as a result.”

“Whilst I don't suffer with this, as a coach and personal trainer I see the affects this has on women and how devastating it can be not just to women but to relationships and families.

As a fitness professional trying to help people, this movement is music to my ears and long overdue and will help me help others.”

“I was turned away by my GP 4 times…anxiety was out of control, dark thoughts, hot sweats, struggling to stay grounded, but finally got HRT. Still not easy and not supported.”

“Gaaaah!! I am so furious with myself for not putting 1:1 together and clicking that I am 100% perimeno! Years this has gone on! Years!
But by God I am so proud of what I have achieved while suffering! What will I achieve once medicated and back to being me?! It’s mind blowing.
Lack of sleep, those 4am wakings! Fighting to stay awake at 3pm.
Poor memory, forgetting words, names, priorities!
Nearly walking out on my husband and kids because someone put a fork in the spoon tray.
Restless and unsettled.
Actual palpitations and inability to breath at random times.
Very low moods with suicidal thoughts…. Never in my whole life have I experienced this!
And I am fat. I have got so fat and no amount of dietary change (I became vegan for 18 months) or calorie counting or increasing exercise reduces the weight, it just controls it.
Yet I have held down a full time very responsible professional job, switched job path and started a new job with a learning curve like a mountain side.
Taken on new and terrifying challenges and smashed them. Held my family life together and feel positive.
The symptoms are so insidious, they creep on behind a veil, hiding behind life events that I put my symptoms down to.
Now I know, I can Chuck it in the fuck it bucket. That’s my motto. Chuck it in the fuck it bucket!”

“I am 51 and very emotional about everything, I can cry just at a drop of an hat. I went to the doctors, but they say because I am still having regular periods, I am just peri menopausal so there was nothing they can do to help. What do I do next?”

“I turned 44 and it was like a switch had been flicked; switched into darkness. It was so fast. Rage, extreme low mood, regular tears, weight gain that didn’t shift like it would the previous year. Daily headaches. I felt like I was losing my mind with memory loss which was the worst. Heightened anxiety. Suffered for 6 months before getting help thanks to Davina McCall’s documentary. Saw my GP who was sympathetic although antidepressants were her first thought, and I did get the distinct impression she felt I was on the young side but I stuck to my guns to try HRT first. A year on, HRT has helped hugely with my mood. Headaches instantly alleviated. I feel better. Still navigating my way through peri-menopause as still feel cognitive symptoms too prevalent but not as bad as without HRT. Maybe the missing piece is testosterone? Who knows because GP didn’t even acknowledge the word when having a review after I suggested it. 2 out of 3 hormones replaced - why not a third? Madness. I don’t know if testosterone is the answer but it would be nice to even have the opportunity to try.”

“I am now 60. Male doctors prescribed seroxat and later, citalopram for ‘low mood’ when I was 44. I didn’t feel depressed but slightly sweaty, tired, low libido and unexplained vertigo dizziness. 3 kids and a full-time job really had nothing to do with it. I had a hysterectomy at 52 and now HRT patches - JOY! I’m back!”

"I am 57 years old, am post-menopausal, cannot take HRT as have had cancer. My teeth ache I have dry mouth and a burning tongue…I have been to the dentist and nothing is wrong there. I need advice, I feel unwell all the time the Dr doesn't understand and I cannot go to a menopause clinic as it is for HRT etc not for symptoms…any advice please?”

“All through my 40's I felt like giving up, taking my own life, leaving my family as I felt anxious and worthless! Peri-menopause? Never heard of it! Fast forward 12 years and I am living my best life. At 48 I told myself 'enough is enough' and I started exercising with Joe wicks and changing my lifestyle through diet, de-stressing and exercise. I educated myself as to what menopause is all about. At 49 I started yoga which sorted my head out completely. At 50 I bucked up the courage to ask the doctor for local oestrogen due to having lots of UTI’s and painful sex. At 51 I became a yoga teacher to help others feel the way it made me feel. At 52 I'm about to become a menopause yoga teacher as both subjects are so close to my heart. This whole process of investing in myself, educating myself and loving myself totally turned my life around. I love my life so much I very rarely need to take time away from it. Menopause can truly be a wonderful time. Here's to the next 50 years as I'm not retiring any time soon.”

“Hi beautiful ladies I am a mummy to 3 beautiful children, and need some advice please. For 11 months now I have been suffering with peri menopause, I also watched Davina’s documentary. The Dr straight away offered me 50mg more of sertraline to add to my 100mg! Because I said I was feeling very low. I immediately said no! This feeling was different, I felt like the happy sparky life and soul of every party had been sucked out and replaced by a grumpy, irritable, tired moody hot mess who quite frankly would just rather sleep than jump on top of Tom hardy if he lay naked on my bed!
She arranged blood tests, but I could not understand how accurate the reading would be because I have a Mirena coil. The bloods were fine. My symptoms worsened.  My coil was due to be replaced in July, so I put myself on the waiting list in March. After hearing nothing I called the doctors to be told I was halfway up the list and still have 6 months to wait. I called family planning they said the same. So now my coil has expired, I am bleeding again sometimes 26 days apart sometimes less, and it’s horrendous. I can feel my coil when I bleed it’s so uncomfortable. The doctor wants to try me on the gel first because it works well with a coil but I can’t have it because my coil has expired.
It’s a joke. No one is listening to me; I feel I am being fobbed off and the whole time I am waiting I feel like I am trapped. What can I do??? thank you for reading.” x

“I was prescribed anti-depressants and I took them for 3 years before I realised, I was in fact peri menopausal. I went back to the doctors and had to tell him what I wanted. He was about to write the prescription when he saw in the book, he was referring to that I “should have a blood test to determine if I was actually peri-menopausal.” I finally managed to get the prescription after me insisting I did not need a blood test. The supply of oestrogen gel has not affected me until I tried to get my prescription filled this week (although a 10 day wait for a phone appointment from my doctors who wanted to do a medication check didn’t help. 1 minute I was on the phone for and the same gel was prescribed. Surely doctors know about the shortages of gel and could/should have prescribed something else for me?) I rang round for an hour yesterday to try to find some gel. I quoted the SSP at a couple and they said that because no gels were available, I had to call my doctors and get them to prescribe something different. I couldn’t get through to my doctors so I now have that battle again. I can’t make calls from work easily. I am a teacher and I get very little free time during the day so it’s not possible for me to sit on the phone making lots of calls. I have to wait until I get home which at times is just on pharmacy closing times. I don’t know what to do.”

“After the birth of my daughter at 39 I experienced awful PMT, depression, rage, panic attacks and felt hopeless. I went to my GP and said I was exhausted beyond being a new Mum of 2 children and my periods came back with vengeance and were heavy and long and exhausting. I was told my thyroid was in the normal range twice and I would need to manage my periods for another 10 years as 'Menopause most likely will hit at 55'. I had never heard of Peri Menopause or any symptoms except hot flushes. I was offered anti-depressants or CBT before Lockdown. In lockdown when tinnitus, joint pain and night sweats had me googling Arthritis and more at 3am and feeling my life was over at age 43, I found posts on Instagram which listed all my symptoms. I eventually requested a face-to-face appt which during lockdown took weeks to justify and stated to a new GP that I needed a coil as my periods had increased not decreased and I could not continue to operate for another week let alone months or years. A consultant told me within 5 minutes I had been peri-menopausal for years and he prescribed me HRT immediately after fitting a Mirena coil. Within 3 days I felt vaguely normal. Within a week I had more energy than I had felt in years. I felt heard and seen rather than feeling I was losing my mind, my marriage as well as being far less of the mother I felt I could be to my children. It took 4 years and I was 44. Instagram posts are the sole reason I sought help. I feel I had to fight and justify why I sought a coil and HRT and had my symptoms been less extreme I would have been sent away again. It took me so much to seek tests and advice from my GP in the first place and I believed what I was told: I was too young, blood tests were not relevant for me at my age, I could either put up with my periods for another 10 years or have surgery. Anti-depressants could help me feel better. No mention was ever made of hormones until I stated my belief years later that all my symptoms had to be linked. If a female is asked how often they go to their GP the answer is usually 'rarely' or 'only if absolutely needed'. On that basis GP's have to be better educated and take symptoms at face value- there will be worry, uncertainty, guilt or shame in some cases like mine, and a feeling that maybe this is just life now or getting older. We are so far behind where we should be. The change starts with recognising the instincts of the patient in front of you. No woman I know is going to make up the list of symptoms we experience or exaggerate it. We will not make an appointment as soon as symptoms begin. Women won't waste a doctor's time asking for help unless there is a genuine and considerable impact on life.”

“After years of suffering with endometriosis and growing a pretty large fibroid during lockdown, I finally got to sit down with a consultant October 2021. She recommended a total hysterectomy but told me it would be at least an 18-month waiting list. I was given an injection that day to put me into chemical menopause. I had a second injection in November and realised that I was in a very dark place due to the side effects. My hysterectomy was prioritised and I went in to surgery in December 2021. I had everything removed so went into immediate surgical menopause. It’s been a rough six months. I hadn’t realised just how hard the menopause had hit me. Hot flushes, brain fog, painful joints, erratic moods, no motivation, tired beyond tired. I’ve just started on oestrogen patches this week!!!”

“I had a full hysterectomy in 2017 (aged 37), due to painful endometriosis. Operation went well, and automatically given HRT patches. No information about surgical menopause or follow up appointments, I was just left to get on with it. Over the next few years I completely lost myself.....anxiety, depression, massive weight gain, achy bones/joints, no enthusiasm for anything at all, extreme fatigue. I did go and see the Dr numerous times, but was told it was part and parcel of the menopause, and just had to get on with it. I struggled in my job that I had always loved, so after 21 years I left. I felt like I couldn't do it anymore and was no good at it. I stopped going out with friends, and preferred just to be in the house all the time. Last year, I broke down to a new Dr, and just told him everything. He listened to me, and said there are definitely plenty of other options. He started me on HRT gel. And soon after I noticed a change. No anxiety or depression, started to get a bit more energy and enthusiasm. Not as fatigued as I had been. I definitely started to feel a bit like my old self. After 9 months I even started back at my job, and I absolutely love it again. Even though I felt better I still feel like something is missing. I have no libido at all. My husband is very supportive, but it's difficult between us. So, I finally have a hospital appointment to discuss testosterone. I'm just hoping they try me on it, to see if that's the missing piece.”

“I came to forced menopause via surgical and hormonal medication in order to make the removal of a large fibroid easier for the surgeon to remove.
I wasn't told that I had a choice in this. My hair fell out; I gained 3 stone and mentally and emotionally I was a wreck.
After surgery it was clear I was now in full blown menopause. There were no check-ups or scans post-surgery. I'm now faced with feeling entirely crazy - physically and mentally and emotionally - or - take HRT; despite it being clear that I am extra sensitive to hormones.
My family and friends look at me like I'm crazy for talking about any of this and speaking up. They think it's shameful.
How did we get to be here in 2022?
No man would ever be expected to go through what women go through - or indeed be denied treatment, choice, or knowledge.
Knowledge is power.
Speaking up is power.
Not being ashamed of being a woman is power.”

“After years of endometriosis and adenomyosis I had a hysterectomy leaving my ovaries in. Within days I was experiencing hot flashes, insomnia and lethargy and was told this was normal and would settle. Months went by with Dr appointments where I’d be crying over weight gain (making food diaries, exercise diaries, logging weight at Dr’s request) not sleeping, high anxiety and palpitations, headaches, and still more hot flashes. Ovarian function results were “low” but not alarming. I suffered with this for 6 years and finally had my ovaries taken out. They had barely been working and what little estrogen I had was from fat cell and cysts. I woke up from surgery with a patch and been on HRT ever since. The sad thing is that I am struggling still with some symptoms (weight being one and hot flashes another) and my Dr has had to email the menopause clinic as the waiting list is almost two years long and knows I need help now. However, the last email was “we don’t have anyone who deals with surgical menopause, and cannot help her any more than prescribing oestrogen, so please direct her to a private clinic”. This is where I am at, and have no money to go private. So, this is where I am today. Still struggling and only 37. I feel let down, worthless and robbed of my 30’s.”

“I haven't had too bad a time - so I thought that might be useful too, to hear. But .... I did suffer from feeling very over-sensitive (almost paranoid) for a month or so and it resulted in nearly bursting into tears in a Board meeting. I was being bullied (but that is a separate issue) and I just could not disguise my upset, my voice showed it even though I managed not to cry tears. So that was hard. But difficult to know how much was bullying and how much was menopausal.

Second distressing symptom is worsening urinary incontinence! I suppose I have some sort of prolapse or sphincter issue, which means exercise with a full or partly full bladder - even walking - can result in leaking, meaning I have taken to wearing Tena pads. It did also seem to get worse in a monthly rhythm (just before period when I was still regular).

Hot flushes - I actually quite like! Being a naturally cold person, it felt pleasant to be warmed up from the inside! Unusual reaction, I know but they were probably mild.

So yes, biggest issue - mental oversensitivity; then incontinence. I am booked to see a specialist for the incontinence issue but not until Feb 2023 (!) but that is fine for me - it is hardly life-threatening and the NHS has a lot on its plate at present.

The paranoia/feeling bullied (partly accurate)/loss of perspective was definitely the most powerful and almost overwhelming negative symptom.”

“I am 47 yrs old and have worked as a nurse for 27 years, my career is unblemished, not a single complaint or sanction against my name. I was previously a clinical lead specialist Band 8a, in a service that I had worked in for 17yrs, leading a team of band 6+7 senior nursing sisters and left my role to pursue a career in advanced nursing practice within a GP setting, 6 months later the covid pandemic began. I have worked tirelessly throughout with little in the way of formal support from my employer. During this period I began experiencing symptoms of the menopause, including low mood, anxiety, brain fog and night sweats and insomnia so severe that I eventually went to my GP. Carrying out the role that I do meant that I am perhaps more informed about this than some people, that coupled with the fact that I have an excellent GP surgery meant I was commenced on HRT at my request. I was off sick for 2 weeks throughout this process and submitted a sick note supporting the same. I have been open and honest with my employer throughout.
Despite this I have been subject to numerous "reviews" regarding my performance, without clear statement or purpose, which compounded and did not support my difficult situation. This resulted in me informing them of my intention to submit a grievance in relation to my management, to improve this experience for others and (in a female dominated workforce) to prevent them from treating other staff members in this way in the future. Subsequently, I am now currently awaiting a date for a formal disciplinary meeting with my employer. Despite trying to explain my situation on numerous occasions, the support remains lacking - I have been told "I don't want to be responsible for you (included in the minutes of a meeting)" and "I'm not having it that symptoms of the menopause are having an impact on your ability to do your job (recorded with permission - during a meeting)" by 2 different GP partners within the practice.

I am well supported by my union representative but decided that I needed to do something more to empower myself, whilst feeling extremely vulnerable (and extremely sad) at present - hence my reason for submitting my story - I would like to see education for all to include employers/practitioners and patients and I passionately support all of this hard work!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!”

“I am 43 with whatI thought was a pretty solid stable mental health until I was 39 and it deteriorated and my anxiety was uncontrollable and I was put on medication which helped. I noticed other changes but just put them down to getting older then in November last year literally out of know where I was crippled with anxiety, incapacitated with self doubt and worthlessnesses and had to be off work for nine weeks. It took me six months to get back to my new normal which is taking some adjustment and then the physical symptoms happened where I have pins and needles in my hands, burning mouth syndrome, fluctuating weight, word allocation problems, brain fog and memory loss. It is soul destroying as I don’t know who i am any more and whilst I find the positives interesting in that I have no filter and losing hair is beneficial as I have so much it is life changing and there really is no preparation for this. I am in a very high pressurised job with public scrutiny and it is causing so much anxiety to not maintain myself. The symptoms I have have been terrifying thinking I had MS, MND or dementia and being laughed at by my GP stating that I am too young to be going through this is just not helpful and ageist. I am grateful that it all makes sense now and for the last few years I have not been going crazy. I am going to make it my mission to talk about this and prepare the future generations of females and males.”

“It was really upsetting and I feel patronised to read the article in The Guardian about the "medicalisation" of the menopause. During almost 3 years of my peri menopause I did not use HRT because my symptoms were minimal; I led an already healthy lifestyle and, for example, introduced strength training and reduced alcohol and my life was going fine. However, when in January 2020 I phoned my GP asking for HRT (I did my research, so I asked for the patches) as my night sweats were getting worse, dryness, you name it; to my surprise I was offered anti-depressants, which I did not refuse.

Took me almost 6 months to get them plus a referral to the menopause (another disappointment). The Meno clinic's assessment was a 15 min phone call and another 15 min face to face, no blood tests done, no pressure taken etc. Yes, she gave testosterone gel but I have read you have to know how the hormone levels are first. Basically, some of us are getting our HRT or testo gel but no checks in our vit D, magnesium, hormone levels. During the peri period, I paid for a bone scan to see if my bones were ok, because my mother suffers from osteoporosis, I am worried about it, (another thing my GP is kind of ignoring). I feel they think we are bunch of drama queens, but Viagra is over the counter. Please can somebody explain this? Many thanks for your time and keep going.”

“I was dismissed from my job due to my debilitating symptoms. When I look back now, I am astonished how I pulled through it all - to battle depression (caused by hormones), extremely heavy bleeding where I had to sit in the bath on some days, sleeplessness due to bleeding and night sweats, brain fog that was so severe I often forgot what day it was. For nobody in the medical profession to even suggest it was the peri-menopause, I honestly thought my life was unravelling and nobody knew what it was or how they could help.

Then I was told by my employer that I was 'fabricating an illness', and according to them, I had made it into work and looked fine. I lost over one stone in weight due to being anaemic and my clothes hung off me! Then I was sacked. Luckily, I had backing from my trade union, and amongst trying to get a diagnosis, trying to hold my life together, I had a brilliant solicitor who fought the dismissal by my employer and I not only won - but it became a 'stated case'; it changed employment law forever! The severity of symptoms can now be classed as a disability and are therefore covered by the equality act. ACAS also issued new Menopause guidance on the back of my case. Please do not give up. I know that it is not easy, but there is hope! We must fight for better diagnosis and better access to HRT.”

“At 46 a single mother of 2 young children my symptoms are debilitating to me on a daily basis. Having to take time off work sick due to the cripplingly anxiety and physical symptoms such as tremors and dizziness. My GP has been happy to prescribe HRT but isn't a specialist in the area, which I have paid for but is expensive especially since potentially I may not be able to return to work. I am hoping this is not the case We need more specialists available on the NHS.”

“Only in hindsight do I realise I have been peri/menopausal for at least 3 years. I usually am a very positive and patient person and I work as an Occupational therapist in the community for the NHS so am used to stressful situations. I had coped with night sweats, painful joints especially first thing and had had periods dwindle and then stop completely for at least 12 months. I had also obviously worked increased hours during the whole last 2 years as well as supporting my daughter through recent spinal surgery and helping care for my lovely mother-in-law who had died at home last May.

One day in February 2022 this year I realised something was drastically wrong. I had been struggling to cope at work, I was finding it really difficult to read from a screen as I couldn’t absorb the information I needed. I had started to feel anxious and a burden in my work and family role. I thought if there was an easy way to disappear that would be the best solution for everyone. I knew enough was enough and went to my GP, the young male doctor advised anxiety medication but listened to my reasoning that although I had anxiety, I felt it was linked to my menopausal symptoms; he started me on HRT 1mg initially and gave me my first sick note.

I have now been off sick for 5 months, I’m now on 2mg of my combined tablets and I’m beginning to feel more like me again. I no longer feel a burden but it’s been very slow and I feel guilty as I am sure I am not the only person suffering with these symptoms at my work place. My GP recently talked me into remaining off sick concerned that I would not be well enough yet to cope with the stress of my job. I hope I continue to improve and can play my part in supporting the elderly to rehabilitate soon. Good luck with all your journeys. x”

“My personal menopause journey is not as rare as I spent years thinking it was. I have never had a hot flush and looking back I certainly started my journey many years before I even knew I had any menopause symptoms. I remember waking up in the middle of the night with searing pain in 2 of my fingers. This quickly transferred into my elbows then knees and hips. Leaving me unable to walk, sit or stand, and in a dreadful state. My then GP, was not particularly knowledgeable on menopause and never mentioned this at the time, but sent me to endless consultants. I was sent over a period of 3/4 years for endless blood tests, CT scans, MRI’s etc. I was tested for Fibromyalgia, Arthritis, Lymes Disease, to name a few…but everything came back normal. In desperation I tried HRT, but it made little difference, knowing what I know today I should have been offered a gel or patches or maybe stronger HRT. My physiotherapist seemed to be the most help, and when I approached him at a particularly low point and asked him if I was terminally ill, he was mortified and said no, it was systemic. Each week I had different joint issues!

I had a change of GP and she was brilliant and suggested different tablets to try. Along with my own years of research, I did take good quality anti-inflammatory for a few years and good quality supplements and I am much better these days. I am 7 years post menopause, and if only I had known then what I know now I wouldn’t have lost 9 years of my life to menopause.

My mental health had taken a battering over the years, with no support and dealing with all my health issues alone. It’s hard being single and a single mum of twins too, even though they are now grown up. Anxiety plays a huge part in menopause and I know so many women suffer unnecessarily at this time in our lives. I have a huge menopause Facebook group and hear these issues hourly! This is what spurs me on to get menopause out there and the ‘norm’! I’m determined no other woman will be left in the dark and suffer like I have. 51% of the population are women and we need to make this transition in a Woman’s life as smooth as possible. Education and knowledge are key for both men as well as women, hence why I wrote my simple, easy to read menopause help book! Life is short enough as it is, losing 9 years of my life to menopause is shocking, I want no other women to do the same!”

“I’m in the midst of a few years of just feeling rubbish. Just before lock down, went to docs explained that I was feeling tearful, forgetful, anxious, brain foggy. I was prescribed anti-depressants. Menopause not mentioned! Symptoms then got worse over last 2 years. Avoided doctors as didn’t want to bother NHS but last summer went to doc to ask for HRT. Despite having a coil, I have suffered with severe bleeding for 2 years. Was told I was suitable but needed blood test and cervical smear. Smear test couldn’t happen as doctors couldn’t get smear. Coil could not be removed. Eventually referred for possible cancer of womb. Seen quickly not cancer thank God but large fibroid, coil removed and cervical smear completed! Referred back to doctors. Back to square one. No HRT still prescribed and referred back to gynaecologist for appointment at end of this year (2022). Bleeding never stops (only 5 days of no period in last 7 months!), brain fog is lots worse, mood swings, lower back pain from bleeding never goes away. Have been told probably peri menopause but just feel like this is never ending. Still no HRT but still on antidepressants!! My story is never ending at the moment but wanted to share as Menopause symptoms and help for women needs to be so much better. Thank you, Menopause Mandate and supporters for asking people to listen. As frankly at the moment most women are just completely isolated and lost in systems that just don’t give this enough emphasis. It needs to change.”

“Hello all you beautiful brave ladies. My story started a little over 10 years ago around 2010/2011. I had heard of the perimenopause and recognised I'd had the symptoms for some time but my GP was not convinced it even existed, so I went through the night sweats and hot flushes intermittently, was given antidepressants for as he put it, ''my mental state'' and was basically left to get on with it. My menopause came approximately 3 years later, 2014. At the time I was told by my GP that my symptoms were normal for a woman of my age, (45) and on asking about HRT was informed it was only to be considered for extreme cases, because of the risk of breast cancer.

Since then I have been back and forth to the GP with.....
•Sometimes debilitating chronic fatigue.
•Pain throughout my body.
•Depression.
•Anxiety.
•Panic Attacks
•Brain Fog.
•Insomnia.
•Relentless night sweats
•Hot Flushes.
To help keep some semblance of humour to it all I declared I was having an exotic time of it and labelled the flushes as ''My tropical moments.''

I was given a diagnosis in 2018 of Fibromyalgia and put on many different anti-depressants, none of which ever really helped, but kept my ''mental state'' numb. I had to reduce my work hours, I lost confidence in myself and the anxiety at times had me house bound and unable to work.

After watching Davina's programme a few weeks ago. I rang the Dr's for an appointment and asked to speak to a GP that specialises in women’s health as I wanted to discuss menopause symptoms. She thankfully listened, and immediately said I qualify for HRT and prescribed progesterone tablets and oestrogen gel. She also said my Fibromyalgia diagnosis is probably completely wrong as the symptoms do overlap. I was elated, until I was told by the pharmacy the gel is not available due to stock issues.

Arrrrrggghhhhh!

I have started to take the progesterone so at least I'm getting that into my system, but without the oestrogen I'm not expecting to feel much of a difference. I have decided to give it a few more days to see if the gel arrives. If not,..... back to the doctors we go!

I have also started, on the GP's advice, to wean myself slowly off the anti-depressants which is not pleasant. I feel let down, disregarded and so angry that me and thousands of women like me have been treated this way.

I have fought to be heard over the years I've struggled with these symptoms, only to be misdiagnosed and swept aside, and my battle like many others is not yet at an end, because now the medication is not readily available.

I must end with a huge THANK YOU for all the hard work you are doing to raise awareness and getting us all the treatment, we rightly deserve.

You are angels, each and every one of you.”

Big Snuggly Hugs

I lost my mum 13 years ago to Pancreatic cancer. My mum was 67 when she passed and had gone into early menopause at 38, was given revolutionary HRT back then. I had a full hysterectomy at 47 (10 years ago) no one spoke about what was coming. I struggled on not wanting HRT due to cancer links and mum’s history - My GP at the time agreed. I changed area and got a new GP who did a blood test and asked how I was coping with no Oestrogen in my body, and if I wanted HRT she would prescribe it but because of the data I still didn’t. I was an air hostess, I had flown for 12 years and I had to give up as my body could not take the early morning starts and have energy to fly all day on little sleep. I spoke to my employer who brushed it under the carpet so I got a job with the police in the control room which was desk based but included night shifts - 3 years in I have asked for a slight adjustment so that I do not have to work all through the night but no they will not accommodate. Thankfully due to Davina’s programmes I am now fully informed and am on HRT, my life is much better but I am having to move departments to continue working in the police as I am not able to cope with the night shift any longer - I feel as if no-one cares and that ‘menopause at work’ is lip service as when it comes to it no one cares even if you are good at your job - this is the second job that I now feel pushed out from due to the employer’s attitude around menopause. I am just so grateful to Davina’s programme for shedding light on the matter, helping ladies like me by giving us the correct information and I now recommend it to everyone!”

“I had a Mirena coil fitted in my mid 40’s due to extremely heavy bleeding. My periods stopped after a year or so which is entirely normal. Over the last two years I’ve been experiencing extreme tiredness, brain fog and increased anxiety and lack of confidence. I asked a GP a year ago how I’d know I was in the menopause and she said the Mirena is used as HRT so I may not even notice it.

So, I put my brain fog down to age (I’m 52) and exhaustion and lack of libido down to stress.
Things got on top of me at work and I’m facing performance management and am signed off with stress. This coincided with watching the latest Davina McCall documentary. I spoke to another GP who has prescribed HRT patches.

I really hope they work and I can turn this around.”

“Struggling as a single mum of 2 daily, I find everything so hard because of my symptoms, inner shakes, tensing, no appetite, digestive issues, poor sleep, dizziness and nausea. My Dr is trying their best, i.e. offering HRT, doing blood tests and other tests, but I think there should be access to more specialists on the NHS. I work, but currently on week 8 of being off sick. This is the 3rd episode of anxiety related symptoms since 2020. I am struggling.”

“Good morning, I hope it is OK to message but I literally have nowhere to turn.
My doctor says they can't help as my blood tests say I'm not in menopause.

October 2021 things changed overnight; it was like a light switch. I was taken off the pill and have not had a period since. Then hot sweats at night, followed by broken sleep or no sleep at all.
My bones ache like I'm an old lady, I’ve no interest in anything, I cry at times uncontrollably, and my memory is just weird.
I have a very high-profile career and it’s a struggle to get through the day.
I’ve lost friends as they don't understand and just think I'm being mardy.
I'm 48 and don't know where to turn. Xxx”

“Three years ago, I started having strange symptoms, so I went to the doctor wondering if it could be something to do with the perimenopause. I didn’t have much information about this at the time I just knew it existed. My doctor did blood tests, which came back all okay, and he told me in this exact words ‘you’re just a mature woman’ (ahhh!)
I then I went back a year later with severe bleeding, heavy periods and even bleeding during sex, I was put on the mini pill.
When I went back last year due to debilitating anxiety I was given antidepressants (velaxafine),
During these 3 years none of the doctors or gynacologists spoke to me about hormones.
A private menopause doctor (I live in Portugal) literally said HRT will give me breast cancer and looked at me like I had two heads when I mentioned testosterone!!!

Luckily for me I was already on HRT due to a lightbulb moment after watching Davina McCall. I stick a patch on. Then my sister then tells me about a talk at work about Davina. I started researching. I’m pretty sure I can get a degree in the menopause now! I’ve got my HRT patches and progestogen without a prescription. I started using 25 mg patch (there’s only 1 brand here in Portugal which makes me wonder what the hell women are using here? and 100 mg progestogen, vaginally (too sensitive to take it orally..) wondering if I can use it anally so no discharge?

Guess what four days after using the patch my brain fog lifted my fatigue lifted, I don’t even need coffee in the morning I’m not saying it’s not a rollercoaster but I feel so much better and I don’t know why I wasn’t prescribed it three years ago.

I have since discovered the doctors are only allowed to prescribe HRT after 12 months with no period, which makes me wonder if all these perimenopausal women are just suffering like I did for three years?
I am so angry that women have to still go through this!!!
I had to go private but was prescribed bio identical estradiol/estriol and testosterone (I will use the mirena coil this month) it seems the only way here to get a prescription.

I will try with my GP again, but they have no clue about transdermal HRT or testosterone.
Why is it sooooo difficult to replace my hormones? Pretty sure men wouldn’t have to go through all of this!”

“Menopause broke me...

I had absolutely no idea what was happening.
I was at the height of a successful 25 year career in senior corporate positions. I was happily married. I was fit and healthy. Until menopause...
Although I had almost every symptom in the book, I didn't even know that's what it was for 5 years! Until I pretty much lost everything.
Multiple jobs back to back, my marriage, my home, my confidence plus my mental health went through the floor.
To such a point, I completely broke in December 2020.
I didn't really want to die - but I definitely didn't want to wake up ever again.
But thankfully, 18 months later and I don't even recognise that person.
Thanks to HRT I'm in the best place I've ever been with my life!
Happy, well, confident and now running 2 businesses from home!
If you're struggling right now, please trust that it does get better 💗”

“I am a 39 year women, who was put into early menopause 13 months ago, to help with period pains etc.
I have suffered with feeling low, gaining weight( which is massive for me) taking HRT, my skin has changed (not for the best).
My family have struggled to support me, as they don’t understand how I am feeling.
For someone who’s only in their late 30’s it’s been hard.
I have just had my last injection, which will last me 3 months, then I am not sure what’s going to happen with my hormones, as my HRT will stop. They want to see how my body gets on. So, I feel nervous and not looking forward to having no injection and no tablets.”
(Good luck to my family!)

“At 31 after not menstruating, suffering horrific night sweats and hot flushes I was told that I had suspected early menopause. One blood test done and then told no, it’s not that and discharged. 15 years later after the symptoms had stopped me working full time, being told by older friends that “I didn’t know what it was like” going through menopause and that I was “lucky.” I had zero libido, sleep deprivation, mood swings, painful joints, etc. I scored 37/42 on a menopause checklist and have been prescribed patches and am on review for testosterone.

Continue to seek help and be kind to younger relatives and friends because you really have no ideas what they might be going through.”

“I am 64 and I have been trying to solve various health issues since my mid-fifties, when lack of oestrogen kicked in after a menopause in my late forties. I was brainwashed that HRT was dangerous and I suffered from migraines, I had a family history of breast cancer. I did not think my menopause was that bad as I had a healthy diet and lifestyle. Then I began to get major muscle and joint problems including two frozen shoulders. After that I experienced palpitations and tinnitus plus painful sex, anxiety, UTI’s, cystitis constantly. I now realise it was lack of oestrogen.

I saw a whole load of specialists including urologists and gynaecologists who did all the tests and came up with nothing. I also had terrible constipation that was put down to IBS. By this time my mother was suffering from dementia and caring for her meant I ignored my own health. I did try to ask a gynaecologist for HRT as I had a test which showed that my hormones were non-existent particularly testosterone. She said at 62 it was too dangerous and too late. Someone prescribed vagifem but I was so sore by that time it burned. I stopped using it and the leaflets that came with it stating all the dangers put me off.

I had extreme anxiety and fatigue. My mum passed away of bowel cancer and at that point it dawned on me that my life was completely impossible because of the debilitating genitourinary symptoms that dictated everything I did or couldn’t do on a daily basis. I read about body identical HRT and got referred by a GP to the menopause clinic. A year later they contacted me via a telephone appointment. In the meantime, I went private and got prescribed HRT even then I was anxious about taking it due to the horrendous warnings on the leaflets and the warnings from the private doctor about the risks at my age. Finally last November I started and it has made a difference. Unfortunately, some issues of the vulva remain and despite several examinations by my GP who refuses to refer me to a specialist and states internally it all looks ok. And who by the way I have to give up to date information to despite her being the menopause specialist GP.

I finally saw a younger GP who has been working with a vulva skin specialist and she says I have Lichen Sclerosis. Despite this condition potentially leading to vulva cancer and who knows how long I have had it for, I have to wait at least four months to see a specialist and could be much longer. The menopause clinic refused to refer me as it would take another year to see someone and told me to use emollient in the meantime. I am trying to remain positive that it’s been diagnosed in time and the treatment will prevent it progressing as it has already started to change the structure of the vulva.

I am telling my story to say do not be fobbed off, keep making appointments, push to see the right people write to the practice manager if you are unhappy with the way you have been treated. Write to your MP. I have a lot still to offer the world, particularly my grandchildren and I am going to fight for it!”

“I suffered classic peri menopause symptoms particularly brain fog , anxiety and lack of sleep. I lost my resilience to cope and just tried to keep battling on in isolation continually apologising for myself. I finally got a prescription for HRT from a private gynaecologist. This was a problem as the failure to recognise peri-menopause meant the incorrect dosage was prescribed causing me awful symptoms. My GP had no clue how to deal with any of this. It is essential that women are offered a personal prescription based on bloods and a proper assessment which I couldn’t get. The peri menopause comes in waves and you have to be able to know how to handle the ups and downs of the hormones with the prescribed medication which for many is limited in its options.

In the end a friend directed me to a specialist menopause clinic which has been transformative. I know I am lucky to be able to absorb the costs of this and it is not right that so many women are not able to seek this level of specialist help. I am also concerned by the lack of knowledge of surgical menopause which is the other journey many of us have had to endure. I have had a frightening experience of surgeons who see no function of ovaries past a certain age and will recommend removal of the healthy with the diseased. Research is telling us ovaries have a function in our endocrine system in our later years. We need significant improvement in female medicine particularly in this specialist area of female gynaecology with funded research and education as from my experience women are being utterly failed by our current system.”

“My Menopause journey started at around the age of 30, I was angry all the time, my periods were all over the shot and no one could tell me why. I was put under the gynaecology department at my local hospital. After 3 surgeries to check to make sure everything inside was working correctly they did a blood test and found that I was peri-menopausal. This is where I had no help, HRT was never discussed and I didn't know that I could have it at such a young age. I have suffered with this now for nearly 20 years, I moved to a different area and spoke to my doctor about HRT but he said because I was outside of the 10-year guideline under the NHS, I could not have HRT. Are you kidding me? It's a guideline, I told him, it's my body so should be my decision if I went on it, he said he would send a letter to the consultant that I saw at the local hospital to see if they will allow me to have it.

Guess what, no response from them. I am now waiting for an appointment with my doctor to discuss it again as because of the pandemic, I have now suffered for another 2 years. I have been told that I need to be on HRT before I'm 50 otherwise I won’t be allowed at all. I am constantly tired, have no libido, constant brain fog and have a very short fuse, it has affected my home life and work life, and sometimes think it is better if I just end it all. If it wasn't for my children, sister and best friends, I don't think I would have made it. I have my fingers crossed that the doctor will help me, otherwise I may lose the plot completely.”

“HRT has given me a life of stability and joy. Previously, the doctors talked about an emotionally unstable personality disorder. They gave me all manner of pills, but nothing helped. Being told that there was no cure for this condition, l became suicidal. In April 2021, l was hospitalised after a near fatal attempt. Now I’m on HRT all of my symptoms have gone and l can live again. From the very first night, l slept like l hadn’t in months. I would love to personally thank Davina McCall and all the fantastic people who have brought attention to this topic - you are life savers.”

“I am now post-menopausal, still experiencing some hot flushes and night sweats but feeling liberated and more confident than ever.
I've experienced anxiety, work related stress & anger in the last few years but I believe these were appropriate responses to unacceptable work conditions, pandemic and political situations. I have not used MHT.
Herbal medicine, under the supervision of a qualified medical herbalist, has helped all my symptoms. I believe this should be an accessible option for all people experiencing menopausal difficulties. I have made some lifestyle changes- reduced alcohol, changed to decaffeinated coffee etc which have helped too.
I considered MHT but my menopause experiences were never really affecting my life to an extent that I wanted to take hormones, with the possible associated side effects. I am well informed about menopause/MHT/ ageing health and I feel upset about the implication that everyone should take MHT. It should be part of the education, and the choice alongside other options and also an acknowledgement that many women have no difficulties and need no extra support.”

“My menopause started due to a hysterectomy nearly 2 years ago, my operation was planned due to large fibroids (5-6Ilb) they were actually 9Ilb! My op was put on hold due to the pandemic and I was medically induced into menopause to stop the fibroid growing, the day the hospitals re-opened was the day my op was planned (If covid free). My husband dropped me at the hospital at 6am and said goodbye, I was on a 12 bed ward on my own. My operation was planned for 9.30am.
The most wonderful nurse took me down to theatre it was like entering a space ship everyone was in these space like suits covered from head to toe, I couldn't see their faces it was the most scariest experience I'd ever had she held my hand and told me that everything was going to be OK I cried as the anaesthetic was administered.

I woke to the most excruciating pain I'd ever known, they gave me morphine and sent me back to the ward on my own, the next 24hours were lost, I'd face timed my husband apparently in tears and he couldn't come see me! Apparently, I called another 6 times! He felt helpless.

I was discharged 3 days later with some pain relief and a goodbye, my mum isolated so she could come look after me as my husband was a keyworker and working more than he ever had. I experienced full blown menopause symptoms for the first 2 months and then they started to ease, they had left my ovaries and told me I'd hit menopause at a later date.

Those symptoms did ease for a short while, about 11-12 months...then they were back. I struggled on until my husband suggested I see the doctor, I told him not to be daft and carried on... by this time (looking back) I had every symptom possible.

I had changed career from working in care (due to the pandemic) it was just too much, when I started my new job I could see I was struggling to remember things and always double checking everything I did and studying/learning at every opportunity just so I could get ahead. I'd mentioned to a colleague about the menopause and that I'd made an appointment with the G.P.

The G.P. was great and I was prescribed H.R.T.

Well I wish I never said a thing to anyone!

I have been told by said colleague... I'm slow, I'm not ready to take my exam, I don't care if you've got ####### brain fog, I actually could not believe what was happening... The way I see it is, if I'd have not mentioned the H.R.T. no-one would have said a thing! They haven't for the last 4 months, no supervisions, you're doing a great job, you're ready for your exam, no extra training needed... absolutely nothing!

I now feel that I've accepted my menopause journey but it seems my colleague hasn't! I've been made to feel like an outsider in my own workplace, they've knocked my confidence, they have made me question my ability to do my job, I have been reported to the area manager as said colleague and him are good friends... I actually do not know where to go or who to turn too from here! I now feel that I need to leave my job.

It is 2022 and I am made to feel like this because of something that I can't control.

Anxiety is now a daily occurrence, I spoke to the doctor and they have signed me off sick for 2 weeks!

What happens next, I'm unsure!”

“This is my HRT story. I am 41 and have suffered with endometriosis for over 20 years.
A few weeks ago I had a full hysterectomy due to the severity of my endometriosis.
24 hrs after having my uterus, ovaries, fallopians tubes and cervix removed and being plunged into menopause I was discharged with no HRT as hospital was out of stock.
My menopausal symptoms were horrendous. So huge and so out of my control.
Eventually after a few days and many phone calls I was able to get some HRT. I couldn’t believe how much better I felt, it was amazing.
My anxiety was gone, the bad thoughts, insomnia, sweats all gone….until the second month and once again it was out of stock and I was plunged again into a dark place.
The national HRT crisis is real.
And the anxiety I will have every month for the next 10 years is real.
How can we be in this position?
How many more battles do we as women have to fight?”

“I had a hysterectomy (minus my ovaries) in 2009 and not long after hit menopause and it’s been unrelenting since. Due to a migrainous stroke I’ve had to take Clopidogrel since and because of that I’ve been told apart from beta blockers and antidepressants or exercise more, that’s been it, HRT is not an option! A GP from my practice did contact the specialist team locally who said the same thing and that’s been it, no discussion, no support, nothing, left completely on my own.

In amongst all of this I had surgery for a grade 4 prolapse in 2013 and diagnosed, coincidentally, with fibromyalgia in 2014. Whilst it’s great that menopause is on the agenda (where it should’ve been long ago) it breaks my heart that women like me rarely get a mention, only further exacerbating the isolation I/we feel. I’ve tried an array of supplements, explored dietary options, creams and nothing has made a jot of difference. My hair’s thinning at a rate of knots (no pun intended) and life’s hard and any time I converse with a GP or practice nurse I’m met with either ‘it’s your fibromyalgia’, ‘your age/menopause’…… I’ve long since stopped attending my practice.”

“I started to notice the symptoms about 4 years ago at the age of 41 - the main symptom at the time being severe anxiety and suicidal thoughts. I was put on anti-depressants which seemed to be effective in helping with the anxiety, but while on them I noticed a variety of other changes that may have been symptoms of peri-menopause or side-effects of the anti-depressants. Principle among those symptoms was vaginal dryness and loss of libido, weight gain, sore and dry eyes, headaches, difficulty concentrating - known also to be side effects of SSRI's. It took 2 years to finally wean myself off the anti-depressants - I had a conversation with my GP about the other changes, and that I'd like to take the antidepressants out of the equation so that I could figure out what was causing them. Once off the medication it was clear that the changes, I was experiencing were not caused by the medication but must surely be caused by hormonal changes.

I went back to the GP to ask to try HRT. She tested my hormone levels, which were normal, and said she thought I was too young to be menopausal - and offered to prescribe SSRI's again, which I declined. I managed my various symptoms (loss of libido, weight gain, vaginal dryness, headaches, sore breasts, difficulty sleeping, heart palpitations, anxiety, restless legs, hair loss, etc) by keeping my weight low and exercising, and avoiding alcohol. Another few months passed and I returned to the GP to ask again - again she told me she thought I was too young (44 by this point). That was almost exactly a year ago. Today I was prescribed a combined patch, Evorel Conti. I will try this for 3 months until I am able to ask to be referred to a menopause clinic to ask about testosterone - from the research I've done, I feel that my symptoms are consistent with dropping testosterone levels. My worst symptom is my cognitive decline - and the loss of confidence in and ability to focus and think creatively in my work. I am an artist and I have noticed a frightening decline in my creativity and ability to concentrate over long periods in the way I used to. My productivity has dropped steeply since I first noticed changes in my mental health in 2018. I am the sole earner in my household (supporting two teenagers) and so my ability to work is absolutely essential. I feel frustrated that my concerns about my symptoms were disregarded, and that antidepressants were offered instead. I am also frustrated that testosterone is not available until after 3 months of taking oestrogen and progesterone. But hopeful that things might be about to improve. This time last week I was having suicidal thoughts so the only way is up...”

“I didn’t know what was happening to me. My senior manager started referring to ‘women of a certain age’ and that’s what I took it to be - just older ladies. I had no idea about menopause and the physical and mental impact it has on all women at some point in their lives, until it started to impact me in my late 40s culminating in hysterical crying and refusing point blank to do a presentation that I, along with colleagues had been planning for months.

I had no explanation and felt so ashamed of myself but just felt so overwhelmed. I know now that was my first significant run in with perimenopause. I would love to go back now, nearly 10 years later to explain myself whereas that was actually the beginning of the end of my career.”

“I have been unable to get my Estrogel on my repeat prescription. My progesterone hasn't been in short supply. My local pharmacy gave me an I owe you slip to collect at a later date (which took six weeks). I was very anxious at the thought of my symptoms returning, so searched on line & bought from the Prescription Doctor in February at a cost of £31. I have had to re order from them because once again I can’t get it from my local pharmacy, we spent 3 hours, between 3 counties trying to find a Pharmacy with stock . Prescription Doctor accepted my order & then emailed to say the item had increased in price by £10 due to difficulty sourcing stock.

I don’t have the income to be able to pay for medication on a regular basis but I have no choice as I cannot work/ function/ sleep without my HRT.”

“I had to have early hysterectomy and so I need HRT patches but now months on they struggle to give me patches the chemist don’t have them doctor won’t supply percriptsion without an appointment can’t get appointment to see go and all the time I’m suffering hot flushes feeling low mood feeling tired and generally unwell as of no hrt patches
Male doctors don’t understand how no hrt affects us ladies

“I've probably been suffering with Perimenopause symptoms for well over a year without realising it. Last year I had time off with stress even though I'd never before let stress affect me. I've suffered anxiety, brain fog, night sweats, Insomnia and fatigue. I was at the point I felt like I couldn't do my job properly, I started hating my job and thinking about leaving. I went several times to my Head teacher to tell him I wasn't coping, my workload was too much, I reached a point where I was ready just to walk out and not go back. He told me he didn't agree with me, he didn't think my workload was too much and that I was coming across as really negative. I really did reach breaking point, I was getting no understanding or support from him. I sat in my office crying on many occasion. Thanks to a few teachers that were also going through it, they really supported me and made me feel like I wasn't alone.
I had a bout of illness, fatigue, aches and pains to the point I just couldn't get out of bed. My GP sent me for a blood test, than rang about a week later to tell me I was definitely in the menopause. My GP has been great, even though I'm in the North East and can't get body identical HRT. But she did immediately get me on patches without question or delay.
A couple of months in and my body was obviously adjusting. I was suffering awful Insomnia and mood swings, the worst anxiety I'd ever experienced. One day I questioned my boss about something I didn't agree with and him and another male member of staff had a right go at me. I was so upset and because of how I was feeling I couldn't pull myself together, so I got in the car and drove home. I wasn't sure if I was going to go back, but my partner talked me round.
I went back the next day and still no support, he actually told me if I did anything like that again he would take disciplinary action against me. I'm now almost 4 months into my HRT and starting to feel like my old self again. So it's time to take action.
I contacted the CEO of my Academy Trust directly and sent him all of the information he needed and asked if we could have a menopause policy and support for women going through this in the workplace. I also directly contacted HR and asked for an appointment with Occupational health to help me cope better in the workplace.
It's hard when you have no fight in you and you just want to curl up in bed and not face the world. But now I'm starting to feel like my old self, I'm going around my boss who has no understanding or sympathy at all, straight to the top to try to make change. We need support in the workplace for every other woman going through this and hopefully make it a better place for the next generation.”

“In my early forty’s I had been continuously under the gp for back pain since my first baby born in my mid 30s.
But about 43 I started to have very v bad periods, incredibly heavy and pain every 2 weeks with massive mood swings.
I asked gp to go on the pill to stop the bleeding but gp said no. I started to have investigation’s into why my periods were so bad. A gynaecologist tested and scanned me for endometriosis with keyhole camera inside uterus etc . Nothing was found and they decided it must be adenomiosis (a type of endometriosis in the lining of the womb. ) the pain, bleeding and moods were so bad I agreed to a hysterectomy. I knew surgical menopause was a factor. After the
surgery I was mis prescribed hrt and had nothing for 6weeks. It was the most frightening time. The migraines started. After lab tests on my womb, I did not have adeomyosis. There was no abnormalities.
it took about 3 years to find an hrt to fit me and a separate gynaecologist explaining that all my symptoms before the surgery looked like peri menopause.
A couple of years later I paid for an X-ray on my pelvis with a chiropractor and I was diagnosed with Pubic Symphysis Dysfunction. (A very common dislocation of pelvis from pregnancy)
I am now 52 and my menopause is still with me with regular changes . I take eistrogen only patches, vaginal pesaries, and a vaginal cream. I have suffered migraines since the hysterectomy, ..
I think I have damaged my body so much and it’s irreparable. I really worry about my future.”

“At the age of 14, my mom took me to the doctor as I was ‘misbehaving’ the dr said it was my hormones. I have since heard that too many times,
I was pregnant with my daughter at age of 16 and I seemed to be ok (hormonally) and then after birth I have had serious problems with my mental state every single 2 week before my period. The only way I can describe it was I was a different person, making irrational decisions. Life changing decisions!
I went to my GP time and time again- I even suggested it was due to my period, I was either given another diagnosis or referred to mental health services. 
I have a diagnosis of depression, PTSD, OCD, clinical depression! I have either been offered anti-depressants, diazepam or CBT- very recently, it was recommended I go into mental health respite.
Before I go any further, I am a qualified social worker!! So I had a lot to lose.
When I was 35- anxiety hit me bad. I didn’t know why just blamed being a mum to teenagers, stress of work, life stress. I hit another low for no specific reason.
I had a diagnosis of under active thyroid and put on medication. Then I had a serious accident and I noticed bad aches and pains. I said to people it was like I was being injected with concrete- I was stiff, but I was active.
Again, put it down to stress at work- I got promoted and I was a manager of a team.. god help me! 
I had a very serious role with huge responsibilities and I couldn’t remember meetings, dates, names- I really couldn’t remember, if I had checked case notes or seen a child that needed to been seen.
The symptoms were that bad, so I seen a therapist. After 6 months of seeing the therapist I decided to leave my job.
I went to work in a supermarket, I couldn’t afford not to work. I was tired, drawn out, and felt twice my age.

Aged 36 I started to find breast lumps (thankfully always cysts) totally of 11 removed over a 4 year timespan.
I had to have a hip replacement due to severe pain.
Osteoarthritis diagnosed- I use the gym, run over 15 miles, eat well and always have my water 3 litres a day, yet I felt awful.

I went back to my GP in 2019 as I had serious intrusive suicidal thoughts. I didn’t want to die, but my mind was telling me too and I had also developed a RAGE, I was angry.
Again offered anti depression medication which I tried- it but me in a zombie state- I had work so I didn’t continue with them. I said I think it is my hormones AGAIN I was not listened too.
I was referred back to mental health service, I seen a doctor who was trying to give me a psychotic diagnosis with medication. I put in a complaint and demanded HRT. Which I started Aug 2020- life changer for me, a little patch and 4 weeks later the thoughts dispersed.
They came back even 6 months and I have my dose increased. I requested testosterone but refused- but I have a menopause specialist appointment in a few weeks, so hopefully I will be heard. I have 2 daughters and I need to fight for them.
Unfortunately, July 2021 my dear mom ended her suffering with a fatal overdose. In hindsight it was definitely the menopause that got her. My mom wouldn’t have taken HRT so I really hope she is resting in peace now, as it would have been hell on earth with no HRT.
Life is still a battle but I am a woman and I love a good fight.. let’s get our hormones back.. 
I would like to give the social media warriors a massive thank you as you have literally saved my life xx”

“I’m Peri menopause stage. Mirena & Oestrogel since August 21.
Unfortunately struggling since Feb, no gp appointment my 3 month follow up wasn’t til February. My gp had left practice so when I attended to see another gp for my review.. she advised she hadn’t read my notes as too busy filling in for other gp… so I left very disappointed & upset. I’ve been struggling for awhile & even worse I’d say last 6-8weeks..Anxiety, peri symptoms all over place, then when med shortages had to change a few times really didn’t help. No interest in work,anything , even my partner, I’ve even managed to push him away completely. I got to my drs 2 weeks ago she said I was in a heightened stress anxiety state prescribed Xanax & gave me med cert. So I’m not in work as I just don’t feel I retain any information, I can’t do my job??
With shortages I was changed from Oestrogel then Lenzetto this brought back peri symptoms due to shortages only given 1 bottle/spray & now on divigel sachets 2 weeks... will I ever get myself back 🤯🥹🥹😢”

“Hello, I’m 41 years old. I have 2 boys. Our youngest was born 8.5 years ago, i was just about to turn 33 when I had him. About 18 months after he arrived, I noticed a massive dip in my sex drive & feeling tired (more than normal). I suffer with mild endo, so I put it down to that. But it got worse. I had no energy, no sex drive & was constantly tired. I spoke to me GP, they said it was because I had children & they make you tired - like I wasn’t already aware of that. I pushed & pushed - as much as I could muster, but always got nothing. After another 4 years I was told my thyroid was borderline & prescribed 100mg of thyroxine. Which lifted my mood slightly. But still no sex drive / energy. I continued going, trying to explain things weren’t right for me & it was making me sad. The GP asked if if considered if I was actually suffering with depression. I said no, because I knew, that wasn’t the issue - my husband suffers with depression & I grew up with my mom suffering with her mental health too, so I knew it wasn’t that. But, she kept telling me that It sounds like it to her & asking me why I’m so adamant that it wasn’t depression. I ended up leaving angry & upset - having been referred to gynaecology. My appointment with them was cancelled & I was sent to a sexual psychologist - because they were now telling me it’s in my head & that’s why I don’t want sex. I had to sit there with my husband telling a complete stranger about our sex life. He told me & my husband to ‘rub each other down’ after I’d had a shower & to make the effort. Because it was my fault for not doing anything - even though I advised him it feels like a switch has been flicked & there’s just nothing there. And it kills me. Thankfully we went into lockdown so I’ve not been back since, but the last 12 months, my symptoms have got worse, I have hot flushes, cold fingers, freezing cold feet - which hurt, electric shocks, really bad headaches - which I’ve never suffered with before, insomnia, bloating, exhausted, awful memory & brain fog that breaks my heart - the way my head goes blank is so upsetting. I have a tickly cough all the time (never had covid). I was referred to Endocrinology who have requested bloods (again) - I’ve had about 5 lots or bloods done in the last 12 months - all ‘normal’

I just feel that HRT patches could be the solution to all my symptoms & finally give me myself back”

“I had a full hysterectomy in 1993 - I was 29. I was left with one ovary to stave off early menopause. I’m now 57. I don’t actually know at what point I experienced menopause, but I have never ever ever been offered any help or advice at all. Until about 5 years ago I continued to get an annual invitation for a smear test from my GP and every year I rang them….. “helloooo,, excuse me, I don’t have a cervix!”

“I went to see my doctor when I was 53, 11 years ago, about my hot sweats, lack of sleep, feeling tired all the time…the reply was ‘I have patients that have far worse symptoms than you and we don’t prescribe HRT at this practice’ he never asked me if I worked (I did) what my lifestyle was like, nothing, I left feeling like I had wasted his time and shouldn’t even of been there. I’ve never been back even to see a different doctor. Eleven years on, I still have the same symptoms, but added to that is a lack of libido for about the last 4 years, my poor husband is an absolute saint, I tell him ‘even if Tom Hardy was available and interested I wouldn’t be’ We get by with lots of humour and love , but, why should we? There needs to be dedicated Menopausal practitioners that woman can access, without being made to feel that you are being a nuisance.”

“Surgical menopause…EVERYTHING out about 4 years ago TLHBSO. So HRT is a MUST.. With the current Menopause Revolution/Davina Effect’ and supply issues… I can’t fill my next prescription! Swapping to an alternative may bring on symptoms, but currently my nominated pharmacy has nothing anyway.”

“I actually feel like I’ve been quite lucky. My symptoms started about 4-5 years ago when I was 43, I really started noticing it shortly after my Dad died, so for a long time I just assumed the trouble sleeping, the lack of energy, the complete loss of interest in pretty much everything and the unexplained bouts of crying and/or rage were part of the grieving process.
When nothing seemed to improve (in fact was getting worse) I went to the doctors but they could only suggest antidepressants.
By now my work was really suffering and I’d been forced down the performance management route, I was offered the ‘opportunity’ to step down a grade and it was made clear that if I didn’t take it I’d be performance managed out of the door. This terrified me. I’d always defined my self worth in part by my ability to perform well and, as the main breadwinner in our house, I was now petrified on a practical level as well as a personal level.
I went back to the doctors again and was offered antidepressants again and I was put on a waiting list for counselling (though that never materialised).
I persuaded my boss to give me another 6 months before forcing me to step down and it was at this point he suggested setting me up with a mentor to help me pull things back round again.
This is where the luck comes in - I honestly feel like that mentor saved my life. At our first meeting I told her everything, I was in tears for most of it. After I’d finished she just looked at me and said ‘I don’t think you’re depressed or losing your mind, I don’t think you’ve got a brain tumour, I don’t think you’re lazy or unmotivated, I think you’re perimenopausal’
Talk about a lightbulb moment, it had honestly never occurred to me. The more I researched it the more convinced I was that she was correct so I went back to the GP who promptly burst my bubble by telling me that there was no way I was peri as I’d never had a hot flush (still haven’t, something like 20% of women never do) and offered me antidepressants AGAIN.
By this point I was convinced I needed HRT so I made an appointment at a private clinic to see a menopause specialist, she prescribed Estrogel & Utrogestan and sent that over to my GP who will now issue me NHS scrips for it.
That was 18 months ago and I’m now almost back to my old self (still some tweaking, I think testosterone may be the issue now), I managed to hang on to my job and at my last appraisal I was back to my old high scores. I honestly can’t believe that not only was I so ignorant of what was going on in my own body but that it just generally seems to be accepted. From not talking to any of my friends about how I was feeling, hiding the fact I was about to lose my job and just accepting being brushed off by the doctors I’m now evangelical about spreading the word - we don’t have to suffer and we deserve not to.”

“For years I've had problems with urine and vaginal infections, after many visits to walk-in centres, GP etc, I was sent to the urologist, and they concluded that everything was normal. I had to find on a Facebook group that my issues were hormonal and a microdose of local oestrogen twice a week, costing me £3 a month solved it all. Shocking the consultants didn't have a clue. I haven't visited a walk-in centre or GP with this issue since starting on Vagifem, saving a lot of time and resources for the NHS.
I started HRT on June 21, I had to ask for it as I was initially offered antidepressants. My anxiety, irritability and other symptoms improved significantly but came back after 3 months. At my 3m review, I asked for a dose increase, but the same doctor prescribing my HRT refused to increase it and offered antidepressants again, which I politely declined. Instead, I asked to be referred to a menopause clinic, this was September 21. The earliest app available was for today 5th of May. Last Friday I was called by the clinic and my app was rescheduled to Sept 22 due to the consultant being on long term sick leave. One year after I was referred. The lack of resources for women's health and menopause, in particular, is shocking.
I needed 4 appointments with 4 different GPs to find one that was willing to increase my dose last year. I need a further increase again as my symptoms are coming back and I fear it's going to be the same again numerous app until I find one GP willing to listen. This is causing me a lot of stress. My 9 year old told me he hopes they can increase it so I don't shout at him. It's not very nice to be around me when my anxiety and irritability kick in. This is affecting my family life and my son in particular as I'm a single mum and it's just the two of us at home. Being a single mum means it's tricky for me to spend £300 or more, on private consultation. I could go on forever about how this affects not only my life but my son's. I do watch my diet (have lost weight), try to stay active and meditate as often as I can. It does help, but nothing like replacing your own hormones to feel like me again. Thank you!”

“I held a senior leadership position within a large company last year , I began to feel less confident became angry and was not supported well with this at work . Eventually I became very depressed but carried on trying to cope with the fine balance of work and family life. I began to have suicidal thoughts and for the first time in my career took extended time off work.
I had a PPH during childbirth and the menopause stirred up PTSD symptoms. I have been feeling better after taking oestrogen but have fears this will not be available when I next need it and my mental health could decline again.”

“Having an absolute nightmare trying to get my HRT. Today has been totally dreadful and I still don’t have it sorted, I’ve been exhausted and stressed and it’s not over I’ve got to do it all again tomorrow!!! I was trying to get through to my pharmacy for 3 hours!!!! My husband drove me there and guess what they don’t have the patches I’ve had to sort out because I can’t get the gel!!!!! Absolutely sick of this and it’s like this every time I try and get my meds !!!!! It’s got worse!!!!! Please somebody make this better now thank you.”

“I’m sure my story is quite middle of the road. I’m an academic. I’m now 47. At about 44 I noticed some brain blanks under non stressful situations. These had never happened to me before. I had covid in 2020. I had extreme fatigue for weeks, that tapered off, but never receded completely. I got brain fog that really impeded my ability to do my job. I got anxious. I thought I had early onset dementia. I went to my GP who gave me the choice of anti depressants or HRT. But Doc said HRT had breast cancer risks. I wanted a quick fix and my research suggested HRT would take months to work. So I began Sertraline in Sept 2020. It took many more months for me to begin HRT after tracking my symptoms on Balance app. It was June 2021. I told the doc exactly what I wanted and ignored the cancer warnings in the leaflets that come with the medicine, as instructed by Dr Newson. I felt much better fairly quickly and stopped sertraline in Sept 2021. My brain fog remained somewhat., I had the courage to email a well known gynaecologist who is also an academic in my same university. We arranged a phone call that took 5 minutes, to establish she was happy to prescribe testosterone to me. I felt like myself, finally. I am able to function at work. To lecture and juggle my research. I followed up with a new GP at a new practice. There was no menopause specialist at my old practice. On reflection, I was displeased with the service I received there. I was finally becoming more settled and getting on with my new research centre.. I have an outstanding female boss, and 2 outstanding colleagues who all supported me throughout the rocky 2 years. Now a national HRT shortage has “struck”. So far I’ve been reasonably lucky to get my prescriptions. I am concerned I will run out of medicine. I am now out of my local estradiol, which, actually isn’t good at all. Carolyn, Paula Briggs, Davina, Dr Newson and all are doing an excellent job getting people to listen. I just hope the deaf ears of government are opened. If I could vote for Carolyn as PM I would, with the cabinet as above names, and I’m sure many of the 13 million ladies in the UK would join me.”

“By the time I contacted a private clinic for help with my menopause I was prepared to live a shorter life than continue as I was. At 50 I had been offered ADHD medication and antidepressants by my GP as my mum had died of breast cancer.. they said HRT was not for me.
I then found the Newson clinic and was put on body identical HRT and I asked my GP to prescribe it for me, which they did for 6-8 months, and then I got a letter saying they would no longer prescribe me ANY HRT and it was stopped immediately.

I challenged this, I was supported by the Newson Clinic and they offered to speak to my GP, he never took them up on the offer. I have since found out on my medical record the health board, lead Pharmacy and a consultant have agreed I should not be prescribed HRT. They continue to refuse to speak to my specialist, the one and only Louise Newson! I am now struggling to pay for private prescriptions but have been lucky enough to get spare hormones from my friends to help me out.”

“I have been on HRT for 2 or 3 years now and am now on a dose of 4 pumps per day. I requested my last prescription which went directly to my local pharmacy.

When I went to collect, I was given 1 out of the 6 bottles and told to come back when it had run out. When I next went in, they gave me another 2 bottles. I went back today to request the remaining prescription items, only to be told there can only now be a maximum of 3 bottles per prescription, effectively doubling the cost of my HRT treatment.

I am returning to college in September to retrain as a music therapist and have no idea how I will manage to pay for prescriptions or manage on half the dose of Oestrogel.”

“Around age 45 it started with anxiety, paranoia, disturbed sleep, brain fog. This increased over a couple of years and at its height included strong suicidal thoughts. GP diagnosed depression, prescribed diazepam & anti anxiety meds & referred me for CBT. There I was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder. I asked my GP about menopause a couple of times but was told I was too young as the average age was 53 years. My anxiety meds were increased to maximum dose. CBT didn’t really help, it more highlighted negative characteristics & so increased my anxiety about the way I was feeling being my fault. My relationship with my civil partner broke down, we had been together 20 years. I was then referred for counselling which had a more positive impact. I again asked about menopause when my periods stopped around my 50th birthday, but again it was dismissed. I continued on the anxiety meds a further 18 months and have now gradually weaned myself off them.
I now know my experience was peri-menopause. All my symptoms point to it. I’m angry that my GP didn’t consider it, but instead immediately disgnosed me as depressed. I’m sad that our NHS is failing women like me daily.”

“After no improvement following 6 months of HRT, I saw a private specialist. Through blood tests I discovered that my testosterone was negligible which exacerbated what I was already feeling. I would like to raise that via the NHS women do not have access to a testosterone product designed for women. It is unacceptable that the only product available is one designed for men. Given this I have opted to purchase Androfeme privately at £80 per tube ( around 2 months supply). I request that we aim to have a testosterone product for women widely available to women.”

“I live in the USA where the medical guidelines refer the HRT treatment to help manage symptoms and not to prevent the diseases that women risk to get in the absence of oestrogen. I had a DEXA scan that showed I have osteopenia and the gynaecologist that treated me would only prescribe at my insistence, a low dose of HRT. When I asked for the minimum dosage to stop my osteopenia from progressing she said she only prescribes that dosage to menopausal women for symptoms, but that was it and she pretty much told me that other than prescribe calcium and exercise there was nothing else she would do for me in regards of my osteopenia. I'm currently waiting to see a menopause specialist in a different medical group (because the one I had didn't have any) that will hopefully help me for real, to manage my menopause in order to prevent osteoporosis as well as heart disease and Alzheimer’s through HRT.”

“I suspect I reached peri-menopause at 37. While I was being evaluated for ivf it was commented on how low my hormone levels were but not one doctor mentioned that I might need help later on or that it would be problematic for me. From then on I suffered every symptom described as peri-menopausal (I now know)without realising this was the reason I felt so terrible. As I approached my 50’s there was more awareness. My symptoms are pretty substantial physically and mentally. I remember my mother at this age going through what was described as a “mental breakdown”, no one listened to her and she attempted to take her own life, as she couldn’t get out from under the yoke of terrible depression.
So I took up HRT with open arms and thankfully it pretty much saved my life. Thanks to an understanding GP.
But with our practice being sold/covid/problems with NHS care hasn’t been consistent and I have to push for any checks or reevaluation, as recommended by NICE. I feel like my concerns aren’t taken seriously. And that I shouldn’t seek further help as there are more pressing concerns. I would like to be prescribed testosterone to help with my crushing fatigue, and developing degrading muscle tone. Some days I am so tired I can’t think straight or get out of bed. I was a fairly active person before. But thankfully now I seldom get depressed.
I can’t afford to go private, and I know my GP will say as last time that I am being over anxious. Ridiculous as if she (yes she) took me seriously I probably would get the right treatment and feel supported and not be left feeling like my symptoms don’t change over time. I know testosterone can be prescribed “off licence” but the knowledge isn’t there to have the confidence to prescribe it, it seems. And a reluctance to change that.
I have suffered enough and feel that I deserve better. Thank you for giving us a place to actually say this. Hopefully the medical community will listen.”

“I was unable to have my NHS prescription fulfilled in January. As a patient of a private menopause clinic I had the option to get my HRT via a private pharmacy. I paid the recommended cost of my gel approx £14 per bottle but I also had the additional costs to pay, £35 for the prescription to the clinic and £15 for the p+p to the private pharmacy. £50 extra on every prescription.
I recognise that I am in a very fortunate position and can afford to pay for my private treatment and prescription but why should I have too? I work hard, I pay my taxes and am not a burden to society, I feel the hormones I take are essential to my wellbeing and a basic medical requirement that should be covered by the NHS for every woman that needs it. I can not help but feel that if men needed HRT then the shortages and postcode lottery would never have happened. Thank you for taking up this issue for the 50% of the population.”

“I have been on HRT for 31 years following a hystorectomy at 38 years old, I have had every kind of medication in this time - tablets, patches, implants and lastly gel. I have tried to stop taking it twice before on doctors instructions and had very, very bad hot flushes (sweat dripping off my chin out in public and being asked if I am okay ) so I would go back to using it with my doctors backing. I have always wanted to keep taking it, I have been given all the information and made the decision it was doing me more good than harm, which has been borne out by later findings. But now with the combined effect of the shortage of supplies and not being able to see a sympathetic doctor face to face (or any doctor face to face ) I am being forced to wean myself off it after being given only 8 weeks supply. This is really worrying after 31 years of happily using it and at just short of my 70th birthday, waiting for the debilitating symptoms to kick in, I am only 10 days in to weaning myself off it and the hot flushes have already started, god knows how bad it is going to be further down the line, and this is at an age when other older age problems start to kick in”

“After being told by my male GP (who is lovely but doesn't understand the menopause) that I couldn't have hrt again (I was on it for 2 1/2 years but came off it after a year of not having periods) I went to another GP (female) who put me back on hrt as I was having poor mental health as well as poor physical health. However since being back on hrt since last November I have struggled to get the prescription every 3 months. In desperation my sister in law in Spain sourced me a few patches in her local pharmacy (€11 for 8 patches) and sent them over for me.”

“Refused HRT three times to date as I had a lower leg DVT 19 years ago. No risk factors. I have battled with my GP and told them that transdermal oestrogen is safe but they won’t give it to me. Offered me anti depressants instead that I refuse to take. I am at breaking point!”

Been refused hrt by my male GP at Marsden Road health centre, South Shields for over ten years despite repeatedly requesting. His reason " it causes breast cancer". He prescribed me anti depressants
instead. I left my job due to forgetfulness, insomnia and exhaustion. The anti depressants did not work. I contacted Newson Health last September and was given hrt privately but at large cost per consultation (approx £250) every 3 mths plus cost of meds and postage. I am about to go back to my GP but i am afraid. I can now sleeping easily and thinking clearly, and less anxious.”

“I had a hysterectomy in 2010. HRT was not even discussed and I had no idea what the menopause would really be like, I just thought hot flushes. At the time I had a successful career and I blamed some health issues that were starting on stress. Migraines, eczema for the first time and anxiety.
Then my father died and a few months later my mother was diagnosed with terminal brain tumour. I was made redundant, a welcome relief. I fully expected to care for my mother until the end, take some time off and then resume my career.
Wrong my health issues were out of control, days on end in bed with migraines. Not sleeping, and then in 2015 hot flushes started. I again went to GP who put me on oestrogen pills. Migraines and anxiety went through the roof. Went back to GP they took me off HRT. Then I investigated more through migraine trust and penny dropped that migraines were hormone related. Back to GP and pills, no change, saw a nurse about problems with eyes, mentioned flushes etc and was refered to NHS menopause clinic.
So 7 years after my hysterectomy someone took me seriously. Changed to gel, which by now I knew digestive system shuts down with migraine and I started to feel a bit better. Then the gel changed to the PI import and I went backwards.
Gel then changed to patches, which wouldnt stick, patches changed and pharmacy said they couldnt get them. Finally in 2019 estradot patches gained and other changes started, painful breasts, bloating, horrific panic attacks. After a few months the dose was increased and finally I started to feel human. Then came the great estradot shortage so going round different pharmacies trying to get them. 2020 given testogel, started to feel better, aching bones reduced, brain fog declined and started to regain libido. More heartening is the decline in severity and length of migraines and number of missed days has really declined and down to probably 7 days a month from 20. Then I read the book me and my menopausal vagina and recognised VA which is why improved libido was wasted. Back to GP for vagifem but they didn't dissolve. GP apmt not available for 7 weeks and even then just a 4 min phone call. Meantime I went to superdrug private pharmacy and paid £25 for ovestin. 3 mins online, 48 hours delivered.
Unfortunately during this time I had heavy thrush infection so had to stop, the swelling, visible under my scar, took 4 wks to go down, meantime internal examinations tore me inside. So May 2022 I finally have all the ticks in boxes for prescriptions but still feel rubbish but less rubbish than before. No career, living off house sale/savings. Lost friends. But my partner of 9 years has stuck with me through the worst period of my life.
GPs have been shameful, all should have been offered 12 years ago not drip fed over the years through my own investigation and begging.”

“I am 55 and I stopped my periods a couple of years ago and all i knew about menopause was hot sweats and being moody. And that HRT wasn’t good and caused cancer. I struggled on with almost every symptom and thinking I had dementia. I became depressed and anxious and needed support so went onto antidepressants a couple of years ago and had CBT. Hot sweats stopped and depression slightly improved. Work was so hard at this time with covid and so many work pressures and no support even in the NHS for menopause. All I was told is exercise, I had stopped exercising due to fatigue and lack of motivation: I felt very low, crying and feeling like what’s the point. I stopped the antidepressants and went on HRT which I was never encouraged to do by my GP as they said I was too young and had not stopped my periods at that point. I am still trying to find the right HRT and I have asked to be referred to a specialist. I struggle with paying for the prescriptions which might be 3 if I need testosterone.
Due to brain fog, and awful anxiety I am struggling at work and been off sick. Work are performance managing me and I am at risk of loosing my job. I don’t feel supported and have been suffering for too long just like other women. So many women have suffered depression around my age as I have always found it interesting at work and asked women if they had depression when it started. HRT should be free or at least we pay for one and get all three.”

“I was incorrectly (by my GP’s own admission now) given an endometrial ablation at 43 to deal with unbearable periods, then suffered vitamin deficiencies (B12 and B9), excruciating pain in the bones in my feet, could hardly get out of bed most days, yet no arthritis, extreme fatigue, memory loss, lack of sleep, freezing cold all the time - no hot sweats for me, etc whilst trying to hold down a stressful full time job and look after three kids - this went on for years with me asking the GP about my hormones and being told all was fine - fast forward to age 50, at breaking point being told I was “post menopausal” and my doctor admitting that I should have been offered HRT at 43 then I wouldn’t have had the dramatic fall off of hormones I’ve suffered, no one had ever mentioned I might be in peri or meno - At 50 I was prescribed 40 year old HRT medication, the stuff with all the health risks and told I could only stay on it 2 years - I didn’t feel any better 12 weeks later and was on a treadmill then of “try this”, or “that”, different cocktails of drugs, with the doctor effectively saying they didn’t know what else to do for me but they weren’t open to referring me to a gynaecologist either! after covid in late 2021, feeling like a complete shell of my former self I decided to take action - In January this year I paid to see a private consultant who has prescribed new oestrogen, Ultrogestan and (finally!) testosterone, she’s been appalled at the way I’ve been fobbed off and the awful prescriptions of old drugs - I am 12 weeks in to the new meds and finally feeling like I’m finding something of my old self - it’s cost me £300 so far, plus all the money I spent on prescriptions for drugs that didn’t work - I have another bill of £300 coming in 10 days for my next consultation - I’m working overtime to pay for this, but find it tremendously sad it’s taken me having to work extra hours to get the drugs I need at a time when I should be taking life more easy to help the drugs get me back to my old self. My doctor told me I didn’t need testosterone- yet my blood results told a different story and it was ignored.
I don’t blame my GP - they are general practitioners but I’m frustrated that I have to pay for a drug I need when I’ve worked full time my whole life. I also feel huge empathy for other women, friends of mine who can’t afford to take the private route - we should all be entitled to access to the right meds when required and on the NHS.”

“Even though my GP knew of my early menopause symptoms no help was offered to me and I didn't know enough to push for more.
Thankfully I found a wonderful menopause clinic through a friend. I read lots of their online posts and started to educate myself. I realised that I was at risk of osteoporosis and requested a bone density scan. I have been diagnosed with moderate osteopinia so there is still time to put things in place to guard against osteoporosis. The menopause clinic are helping me to get my life and mental health back on track through HRT. I wish I had known about this support before I had resigned from my senior position at work and started to work part time, because I didn't feel like I could cope with the pressure any more.
I honestly feel totally let down by the NHS. Why isn't there the support in place for us? It's glaringly obvious to me that a woman aged 45 who hasn't had a period in over 2 years has something going on that needs checking. I'm so happy that woman are starting to speak out so that in the future no woman should have their symptoms ignored through lack of medical professional training or the idea that menopausal woman don't matter.”

“For roughly 2 years in my mid forties I visited the GP due to bleeding & vaginal infections after sex. They repeatedly sti tested me every time which was humiliating & when they were negative then that was that because the bleeding had stopped. My smears were up to date but I was v worried about cervical cancer.
After I had seen Mariella’s prog I realised I had symptoms of perimenopause & researched it some more.
What I found truly astonished me. Why hadn’t anyone told me this…we all hear about vaginal dryness all the time but this does not describe what is actually happening. When the desire is still there so the vaginal entrance is wet it’s up the cervix end where it’s starting to dry out. You feel turned on and ready so you wouldn’t necessarily think you are suffering from vaginal dryness. Once I had worked this out and introduced lube, problem solved.
Zero of my friends (mid-late 50’s) knew about this. Some have given up all together due to the pain and one had had to reduce the positions to avoid deeper penetration.
I get the feeling that women our age don’t use lube as part of sex whereas young women seem to have found the benefits much earlier.
When I went to ask for hrt I had to see the practise nurse. Middle aged, pursed mouth…are you having hot flushes? No. Well you’re not menopausal but I’ll take a blood test to check. I questioned this as hormones change all the time but she insisted. GP was not happy that she had done this & confirmed that this is not how it’s established nowadays.
I had thought I couldn’t have hrt as my mum had breast cancer but the protocol has changed & I can. GP offered patches or tablets but I asked for gel which he didn’t know about but prescribed for me.
My despair lifted overnight when I started taking it.
After taking it for a few years now I started experiencing night sweats last week where I’d wake up with a cold, wet neck & back. As I usually apply my hrt gel in the mornings and have been getting up earlier than I used to, I wondered if the gel wasn’t covering me through the night. So I have started having a pump at bedtime in addition to the morning pump and hey presto, no more night sweats.
If I had not have seen Mariella’s programme I wouldn’t have been able to work it all out and get what I needed.
It’s totally misleading when all you hear about is hot flushes and vaginal dryness. At the very least it should be well known that you could well still feel wet but the dryness up the top end means maybe chafing, bleeding & pain.
Oh yes and because of the dryness, the blood has a slow journey to the exit so it might not be straight after sex that you see the blood or develop an infection and therefore women might not make the connection.
Like many medical issues, it depends what your gp or practise nurse believes, what their agenda is and how up to date they are with symptoms and treatment.
If you’re unable to do your own research or to make your own connections between symptoms & causes and therefore work out what you need then you are left worrying, struggling & suffering unnecessarily.”

“I had a male GP for years I was given anti depressants twice for symptoms. Anxiety, tiredness, itchy skin to name a few.I was 44 when this started, early I know but totally dismissed. 52 now and a new GP (a woman), she actually listened, gave me plenty of advice plenty of options, this was a 2 years ago. We decided on the gel being the best option for me, changed my life over a few days. But now I'm having to ration it because the prescription cant be fulfilled.”

“I am 34. I believe I’ve been experiencing POI for at least 3 years. I had never heard of perimenopause until 2 years ago when Caroline Hirons shared her experience with it on an Instagram video. Every word she said was so relatable that both myself and my husband cried listening to her. I had thought I was literally losing my mind. I began going to my GP every 3 months listing my symptoms, taking in NICE guidelines for POI, and requesting they investigate or prescribe HRT. They refused repeatedly, despite my seeing every GP & HCP at the surgery. Eventually, a locum referred me to the only menopause specialist for our area in October 2021. I saw the specialist on November 2021 whereby she ordered 3 lots of hormone profiling (without progesterone testing) every 6 weeks and informed me she’d review once the blood results came back. By February 2022 my symptoms had me seriously suicidal. I wrote to the specialist begging she see me sooner, quoting the NICE guidelines for POI detailing 2 rounds of bloods, rather than 3. I heard nothing. Eventually, I got through to gynae secretaries who informed that my calls weren’t returned as the specialist had no secretary since December 2021. In addition, the specialist had gone off sick in January 2022 and wasn’t expected to return before the end of the year. They advised I go back to my GP and ask to be referred out of area. I did this and the GP refused citing that the specialist hadn’t discharged me so they would write to her for guidance (bearing in mind I informed them she was expected to be off work until the end of the year minimum). I have now paid to go private through Newson Health. I have got to credit card my health because not going so poses a real and literal threat to my life, due to the mental health effects of my symptoms. I feel like a shell of who I once was, as if I’ll never again know the person I used to be. My life feels like it has been stolen from me and I feel like a slave to my hormones (or lack of them!) I have evidenced repeatedly that I’ve done my research, I’m making informed requests, and that I know my body better than anybody. I have done everything I can to help myself. Without the right care, I risk leaving behind 7 young children with additional needs for whom I am a parent carer. It is an atrocity and a systemic failure that I have been battling for 2 years already with no end in sight and literally nobody listens. Even the menopause specialist, when asked how I cope between that initial appointment and when I next see her, simply said ‘keep doing what you’re doing’. What is that exactly? Barely holding on? My husband pulling all nighters on suicide watch to keep me alive? Experiencing serious health effects from the lack of hormones? How is any of that ok? To top it off, my husband requested testosterone testing for himself in February 2022 for testosterone deficiency symptoms. Within a week he’d been tested, it was confirmed, and he has been referred to urology for further investigations and likely testosterone treatment. But my life, my suffering, my symptoms, my mental health, my responsibilities, my quality of life, my tears, my fight, my future health and life expectancy means nothing?! How is this ok?! There is no HCP or GP with menopause training at my surgery. How many other women and non-binary afab people are being failed? Things MUST change. We make up 51% of the population and right now, it feels like that means absolutely nothing.”

“Following IVF to have my miracle baby, two years continual bleeding led to a full hysterectomy with everything removed at the age of 31. I was released from hospital after 2 days and had not one single follow up aftercare even though if immediately gone into full menopause (6 years later and I'm still in full menoupause). I wasn't given any insight into what the menopause could throw at me... continual hot flushes, vaginal dryness, drop in sex drive, dry skin, impact to my bones (I have osteoporosis now). I took myself to the GP and asked for some help, I was put on the lowest dose of HRT because I have a family history of breast cancer and im told that's the best they can do for me. The menopause impacts me daily which in turn impacts my family.”

“Diagnosed peri menopausal aged 40 (2012) by gynaecologist. Suggested antidepressants which GP prescribed, I wasn’t depressed so had a terrible reaction, felt like my personality had been taken away. Few years later with severe peri symptoms I went to GP, I was refused HRT but given different antidepressants which obviously didn’t work. Continued to suffer, went back to GP in 2018, I asked for HRT again, GP asked me if I had flushes/sweats I was honest and said no but I get nearly all other symptoms, she said she couldn’t prescribe HRT, I left again feeling desperate. In 2021 (aged 49) I had a total hysterectomy so was told by the consultant I must take HRT but she wouldn’t prescribe it, my GP would need to. My GP said I needed to wait 6 weeks to see how bad my symptoms got before she would prescribe patches! After 5 weeks I told her I needed them so started my HRT journey at last. GP not knowledge, I was massively struggling so 7 months post hysterectomy I paid private for a consultation. Immediately started on testosterone, blood test after 3 months showed I wasn’t absorbing oestrogen patches which makes sense as I have continued to struggle. Had I not been in the position that I can pay privately I would still be in a dark hole as my GP/NHS/CCG could do no more for me. I have refused a promotion and almost separated from my husband of 30 years. This treatment is not good enough. I am in a much better place now, not right but getting there thanks to Dr Newson’s clinic and my ability to pay for what I need. My 10 year battle has been nothing short of horrendous but was avoidable.”

“After suffering with brain fog, word blindness, debilitating night sweats, mood swings, anxiety and generally feeling like I was dementing I visited my gp as suspected I was menopausal. A blood test confirmed this but also showed an abnormal liver function result (it was New Year so suspected this was due to drinking too much alcohol over the festive period!). GP refused to prescribe any meds until he "got to the bottom of the result" citing that HRT would damage my liver if I had an existing abnormality. I waited for 1 year to see a liver specialist during which time my marriage was severely impacted, I could barely function at work and became suicidal. During my 20 minute appointment with the liver specialist I was told there was no reason why I couldn't have been prescribed HRT patches when I had seen my GP at that initial appointment! The specialist wrote to my gp to tell him and eventually I was prescribed patches. 3 months on my symptoms had dramatically improved and I now feel almost normal again. I am so angry that I along with millions of other women are forced to suffer unnecessarily. Women deserve better.”

“COVID-19 and the world going into lockdown shook so many peoples lives. We were all coping to find the ‘new normal’ and unaware of how much our experience would change. I was a wife and working mother of two pre-school boys, having just returned after maternity leave to a high powered demanding job. Juggling everything in my life at that time was overwhelming but little did I know it would become even more challenging.

2020 was the start of the roller coaster. I had been diagnosed with a thyroid condition over ten years prior, my thyroid hormone levels were again in flux and I felt sluggish and was gaining weight. In the spring, I started to notice the pigmentation on my hands, face and chest changing and was diagnosed with Vitiligo. I was changing both physiologically and physically as well. I was also emotionally all over the place whilst trying to keep it together for my family and be strong through a difficult year.

2021 was the start of my decline. The last lockdown in January were some of the toughest months of my life. Work demands were on the rise, the weather was cold and snowy and we had two small children running wild in our house whilst my husband and I tried to work. I started to experience extreme bouts of insomnia and night sweats. My concentration levels dipped and I was exhausted all the time. In the spring, whilst in the middle of a virtual pitch to a client, I experienced a debilitating panic attack, having never experienced one in my life. I thought I was having a heart attack. Fast forward to the fall, the panic attacks and extreme anxiety were frequent, I’d started a new job and two weeks in I experienced what I thought was a complete and total nervous breakdown. I was crying uncontrollably, anxiety so severe I couldn’t leave the house and I was suicidal. I couldn’t face the new job and decided to give up my career of over 20 years to focus on my health and recovery. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life, I loved my career and had worked so hard to get where I was. I was prescribed anti-depressants by my GP but deep down I knew that I was not depressed or anxious. I’d always been a happy and super positive person, I was diminished to a depressed, anxious and shadow of my former self in what seemed like over night. I was a totally different person. My confidence was shattered, I was scared and thought I needed to be committed to a mental hospital. I couldn’t sleep, eat and spent days crying. My family and friends were concerned and my poor children just kept saying, ‘hope you feel better mummy’. It was heart breaking and I felt incredibly alone and lost.

I spent three months, scouring the internet and reading books for answers. I joined The Balance App and started to read some of the stories and realised that all these women were me. I was not alone and I’d been found. I was decidedly peri-menopausal not suicidal! I worked closely with my GP and started HRT in February of this year. I’ve started to feel better but am on the long road of getting my hormones levels right. I’m still in disbelief that this could happen to me and didn’t think at 43 that I would be starting my menopause journey. I’ve been very open with friends and family about my story and what I’m going through. My life has now changed for the better and I desperately don’t want other families (because it’s both women, men and children that are effected by this) to suffer like we did. I’m so happy that this issue is out in the open, we need to ignore the challenges of patriarchy and seek action!”

“After having my daughter at 40, I plunged into hellish symptoms after ceasing to breastfeed after 27 months. Hence i was coming up to 43.
I was all over the place with every symptom going, worst of all 1 day a month I would feel such rage at myself and items around the house. One day, whilst washing up, I felt the volcano rising, grabbed a pair of tongs (luckily plastic!) and stabbed myself in the stomach repeatedly. Thankfully as they were plastic I only received a strong bruise for about 2 weeks. But I was terrified. I had had enough. I went to various GPs over 4.5 years. The one who I told about the tongs 'guffaw'd' at me! I stopped attending the doctors after being offered prozac, the could & guffaws, and tried many natural approaches such as homeopathy, acupuncture, yoga etc.
None of which worked.
I ended up back at my own GP, who we rarely got to see. I demand she refer me to the Oxford Menopause Clinic. No need she said, I work there one day a week.
I nearly grabbed her, both screaming and celebrating!
I was then put on HRT. The patches failed to absorb so I'm now on 4 pumps of oestrogel & utrogestran progesterone tablets.
I honestly believe they have saved my life. I still have milder symptoms and bad days but feel the need to share my story with all my friends in their 30s & 40s in the hope they don't go through the same experience as me.
Thank you for sharing and helping support each other and for change!!!

Emma now aged 49 and still going through it!”

“I’m 63 years old,Naively I thought the only symptoms of menopause was moodiness and hot flushes which is what my mother had ,as I never really felt any of these things I thought I’d escaped Menopause .However, I’d had a mirena coil fitted after all of my 3 girls which suited me fine,I never experienced period whilst using them which was brilliant I thought. I had my last coil removed when I was 54 ,since then my body is something I am completely at loggerheads with leading me to give up my job as a teacher after 20 years ,because I feared I was getting dementia (difficult to deal with at the time as my father had dementia )I was continually sweating which was awkward in the work place and made me anxious,I had a heart issue which came from know where and now my joints are continually aching and I only need to see a toilet and I have to go immediately or it’s embarrassing let’s not even talk about libido From a fit healthy person over a period of 8 years I don’t even know this body I am in and these symptoms sucked the zest and joy I felt for life I was always seeking reasons why everything was out of whack but menopause never came into my head as a possible cause how ignorant was I .I feel I should have known about menopause I feel short changed by the whole system and stupid for not even seeking information ,I just got on with it and thought that was my only choice Why wasn’t it talked about in schools .I thought HRT was a treatment for the rich didn’t even know what it could do for you ,so like many I just got on with it and now I feel to old for help or am I ?good medical help seems so difficult to access On the plus side this Menopause campaign will help educate my daughters and other woman that with the right treatment and a serious approach to this condition the life for many woman can be so much better and they will be able to make choices to live and embrace Menapause”

“I was offered antidepressants 3 years ago as my symptoms of low mood, were likely to be depression. I pushed for an FSH test and told it wasn’t necessary as I’m young. I have now had menopause confirmed. I am 39. It hurts. It hurts my head, my family, my work and my mental health that I have suffered for 3 years thinking I’m going mad. I’m still awaiting hrt as I have been referred to a consultant, as the gp doesn’t want to ‘dabble’ ‘ in meds with me. So I should hear in the next 12 weeks. While I slowly lose myself a bit more. So it’ll be four years since I’ve felt missing in my own body, before hopefully I get some help.”

“I'm 41 and just can't get the help and support. It's about 3yrs since my perimenopause journey began. Only change...I take anxiety tablets and am 3stone heavier and ive got arthritis. The symptoms I went to gp with continue..however its now impacting work and relationships. I've added a comment on Instagram hoping it will resignate with others.

I've hit the lowest in the last few months with it all..HRT as an option was just poo-pooed.

I am happy to give someone the full experience I'm going through.”

“I'm feeling low, lost and miserable. I have intrusive thoughts were I want to run away from my life as I can't handle the lowest days. I cry at everything, I worry about everything and small things can make me angry. 
I drove home along a country lane and I wanted to drive over the edge and crash. Then I felt so much guilt for having those thoughts. At first I thought it was grief making me feel so terrible as I've tragically lost my dad and younger sister in the past few years but the more I read about peri menopause and menopause symptoms and at my age I realise it more than grief. Its affecting all the hours of the day now. I am hoping a GP appointment I've made will help. 
I have memory loss, hot sweats at night, migraines, a lack of libido which is affecting my marriage and yet I get through each day the best I can.”

“I have a total hysterectomy at 36 years old due to a number of issues including severe endometriosis. I went into this quickly and a bit blind, not knowing how debilitating menopause would be. I was told I was unable to take estrogen as it would cause the endometriosis to regrow. It took almost 2 years to fully recover from the operation and feel back to semi full health. I suffered weight gain, severe flushes, loss of libido and generally felt awful. This was 14 years ago and for 14 years I have suffered and in more recent years suffered severe joint pain, exhaustion, more weight gain and a total loss of my sex drive. Following your last program on the menopause and having begun to suffer extremely debilitating brain hog that is affecting every part of my life, I decided to take action and get my life back. I contacted my GP who was unable to give any specific advice on taking HRT and the effect this might have on my endometriosis. I have therefore attempted to take it using trial and error and Google as my friend. As you can imagine, it’s been tough. I finally got a dose right and was starting to see some slight improvement. Fast forward 3 months and I had a breast scare. I visited a breast consultant who told me to STOP the HRT as I was drastically increasing my risk of breast cancer. I left the appointment bewildered, frustrated and clueless as to what to do. I then stopped the HRT as being told this sent ripples of fear through me that I couldn’t ignore. Since then I have researched a menopause clinic. A wonderful lady told me how to access this on the NHS. I then had a battle with my own GP getting a referral. I finally got a referral and am now told I have a minimum of 33 weeks wait. I now feel very low and once again having to battle through in a life which quite frankly I find incredibly difficult. Every day feels like a long and uphill battle.”

“I suffer from PCOS and have always have problems taking the pill. I am very progesterone sensitive, which apparently is a common PCOS thing I’ve learnt. At 40 I started to suffer with perimenopausal symptoms. I fought to get to my local menopause clinic who decided to prescribe me the pill. When I started to bleed, their answer was to up the progesterone content. Every time they upped it, I bled more. I ended up on an extreme amount of progesterone and needed an iron infusion to recover from the bleeding and hysteroscopy to investigate the bleeding. The more progesterone I got put on, the more my mental health suffered.
I have a lovely gp and in desperation I went to her and asked about hrt. Hrt doesn’t make me bleed, but the progesterone content most definitely affects my mental health. The minute my 10 days of progesterone kick in I feel low, empty. Sometimes suicidal. I feel my only option now is to have my womb removed.
Why is so little known about progesterone sensitivity in women and it’s links to mental health. This should be talked about so much more.
Also…… My cycle is longer than 28 days, so I have a period of cold Turkey between ending a packet and starting a new on my first day of my period….. why is that never thought about…

Urgh…. The continual frustration”

“Misdiagnosed, suffered years of crippling anxiety, brain fog, joint pain, IBS. Symptoms dismissed by my doctor who didnt seem interested and didn’t join the dots on the various symptoms. About 8 years ago I stood in a pharmacist in front of all the menopause alternative meds staring confused, when an assistant asked me if I needed help, I was so lost and knew I need something to help but didn’t know what she talked me through lady care device, which I bought, within 2 days I felt so much better, the knot in my stomach had gone and I could think clearly!!! I am now on HRT and feel so much better.”

“I had a radical hysterectomy due to cervical cancer last year which pushed me into early menopause at 31.Not one doctor sat with me and gave me my options or a plan after surgery just said i would hit early menopause. After surgery, I was put on a 50 mg patch and sent on my way with 3 weeks worth and told to get in contact with my doctor .I never had a review , i tried to get one so many times, to be told i was depressed and i was on the right dose. I never got given an appointment face to face! I wasnt given options of what would suit me or what there was to offer,general information on menopause wasnt given nor explained what was about to happen to me. It took 10 months to get a phone call appointment with the menopause clinic and after one appointment i am having to wait again till August to get things moving. prior to this I paid £270 to go private as I was so desperate.my hair was falling out I was so emotional ,couldnt sleep ,hot flushes to a extreme, intense itching,bones hurt you name it I had it.No one would help, my doctor wasn't interested and refused to give me a bone scan and test for my estrogen level and admitted he didn't know what to do so I moved doctors.I have struggled to get my patches so gone onto gel now.which every month I struggle to get due to shortages and have to ring round chemists every month, I was going through the hardest time in my life loosing the chance to ever be a mum having cancer and going through the menopause so early .There was no help for me and I hope this changes and access is easy for hrt for all women out there. It needs to change !!”

“Four ish years ago I was a class leader working with Autistic youngsters. My life was quite good with three teenage children
And a loving husband. I was 50. I started to feel weird, just not right! Alcohol which I loved started to feel odd. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I asked my fellow work friends what could be wrong and no one really knew! My blood pressure and heart rate started to her higher and then anxiety started to creep in. I started to have weird dizziness where I’d leave my body for a few seconds and loose my head! Hard to explain but it was odd. I was out In my sisters car with my children in the back and I just needed to get home. It was like I was going to faint! I got home and went to lay on my bed. I freaked out as I thought I was having a stroke! I pleaded with my husband to call an ambulance but as a nurse he realised and assessed nothing was terribly wrong, I was so upset as I knew there was! I asked my mum to come over and pleaded with her to ring an ambulance but she listened to my husband. But I was dying (or so I thought!) it was the Easter holidays so I didn’t have to go to work. I felt like I was
Having a breakdown! Up to 10 panic attacks a day! I ran to my friends down my road at 2am for her to help me! I had lost my mind! During the day I just laid on the sofa and watched the kardashians (must have lost my mind!) every episode from start to finish! For three weeks. I was no one anymore! I just didn’t want to live if this is the person I was to be. My mum poor family had to watch me turn into this u recognisable person! I once loved fun now I didn’t even like life! I decided to go to the doctors. My blood pressure was 160/110 and my heart rate was through the
Roof. I cried to the doctor he suggested I take ‘sertraline’ to see if it helped. I had a real problem taking tablets so just took half. I felt so I’ll I went to my mums. I even got in her bed in with her and my dad. I wanted to feel safe as when I was a child. My body was burning from my toes to the tops of my ears. I laid there for three days! I couldn’t get out of bed. My mum kept the fan on me and I knew in my heart that I was dying! My poor daughter stayed near me she was about 13. She didn’t want to leave me as just before we’d nearly lost my husband from a blood clot (he recovered but it was touch and go!) after three days I went back to the doctors, it was a female doctor she sent me straight into the next room for an ecg which was perfect! My blood pressure was still
High and I was a total mess! Blood tests for thyroid was normal! I was praying I had something as I wanted to be diagnosed and to get better! Anxious, crying, jittery and not wanting to carry on. She started to speak about being peri menopause! I only remember my mum being affected by hot flushes I didn’t have that! The doctor recommended patches. I went home and started to read the internet which wasn’t as much then as now but I found podcasts from menopause barbie! She explained it all. Not even two weeks after sticking that patch on my behind I started to feel a bit better! I could see my old self gradually returning. I felt like I had survived! I could see daylight again. The relief especially from my family was amazing. I became a menopause expert (well I thought I was😂) and a great advocate for hrt. I began to tell everyone. Sore back try hrt! Haha my children laughed at me! I stopped having dizziness and panic attacks. I became very very allergic to alcohol with even a slight drop sending my heart rate through the roof! I suppose that’s not a bad thing! And I started running! After everything I had been through I knew I had to fulfil a life long desire to enter the world of fostering! My passion had always been helping children. My husband and children agreed and we started the process. Jump to today we have the most fantastic, amazing 7 year old who has now been with us for nearly two years! She keeps me young and We love her dearly. I still have slight symptoms and actually this week I’m going to hospital to have large polyp removed and a biopsy as I’m 54 and still having regular periods! My hrt has been changed quite a few times due to different reasons but my life now is better than it was! We call that ‘my kardashian era!’”

“Had the menapause at 42, same time as being diagnosed with an underactive thyroid and nursing my mum through liver cancer. 2 teenage sons, working in a highly stressful environment . Fast forward 15 years, husband walked out saying lack of intimacy and he felt resentful for last 15 years !!!! Speechless. Went to see a gynaecologist privately, her words to me were " if I had a pound for every woman who tells the same story as yours I would not be in a job !" She wrote to my GP and finally got the hrt I needed plus testosterone, even then the nurse practitioner was sceptical but I persevered and now will not come off these medications. I wish all women the best of luck and hope their husbands sons and healthcare practitioners listen .”

“Hi I was diagnosed for premature ovarian failure at the age of 19 which means I've been going through the menopause since then. I'm now 32 and struggling to get the medication that I need either because of the shortages or for others who have gone to get hrt which is not needed”

“I have struggled with hormonal issues since the birth of my second daughter when I was in my early 20’s. Fast forward 20 years later after endless GP appointments being told I was depressed or needed some other mode of mood altering medication.
Feeling like I’d aged 40 years not 20, struggling to remember even simple words let alone how to do my role of Child welfare, a marriage on the brink of divorce and anxiety I’d never experienced before and the worst hormonal migraines that would see me out of action for days on end I finally found the fight to stick to my guns and see a specialist.
4 months in and I’m calmer and no longer convinced I have early onset of some cognitive condition, I can speak without bursting in to tears and not panic every 10 minutes that I’ve upset someone and seek constant reassurance! Is everything fixed….not by a long shot I still feel uncontrollable anger for no reason every few weeks and the night sweats are not too much fun but at least now I have hope!”

“I didn’t understand my symptoms and after watching Davina McCall’s menopause program I recognised that I may be peri-menopausal. My doctor initially was helpful and after bloods said I was peri- menopausal suggested that I take anti depressants which I was not keen on. Over the next year my symptoms got worse so I re-approached my doctor’s surgery. Another blood panel was ordered.
I heard nothing for weeks and phoned the surgery to find out my results. The receptionist (not a medical professional) proceeded to look at my results and she then said to me, “You should be grateful there is nothing wrong with you.” I asked to speak to the doctor and was told there was no need.
I felt like I was going mad, that all my symptoms were in my head and I was imagining it all. Depressed, anxious, forgotten and ignored were just some of what I was feeling.
I went to visit my mum in South Africa and went to a gynaecologist there who help me with HRTs, advice and support.
My biggest fear now is managing my symptoms and medication here because I don’t believe I will get any support here in Northern Ireland.”

“Hi. I’m Charlie, 
an ex-nurse, a married mum of 2 & in my mid-forties and on HRT. I had severe dizziness for at least 5 yeas before I finally saw Davina & Liz Earle discussing HRT benefits over a year ago. 
I thought my GPs practice would be be happy to let me try it but my gosh, what resistance I faced! 
Even the female GPs were incredibly negative, saying ‘you’re too young to be needing HRT!’ & I had to buy Dr Louise Newsome’s book, make a copy of my symptoms and then go back to them - all guns blazing - for a showdown after seeing 3 GPs! I was FINALLY permitted some Estrogrel & micronised Progesterone. 

All I can say - without a shadow of a doubt - is that the fight for HRT is not over yet; I’m an ex-NHS Professional, with many years of medical training & experience, but still I was made to feel very uncomfortable asking for it. 
I’ve still not been issued any Testosterone but cant afford to but it privately. 
HRT should be freely available to any woman suffering with perimenopausal symptoms and Drs should be INCREDIBLY careful when refusing it in cases where they are not fully trained in how much Estrogen - and the lack of it, affect’s us as we age. 
Here’s to free & plentiful HRT for any woman that requires it. GPs need to wake up!!”

“I'm 53 now and I feel amazing.
I wish someone had sat me down when I hit 40 and told me how to look after myself in the coming years.
I had NO idea what perimenopause was until I hit menopause at 47.
It was only then that the penny dropped, and that the baffling symptoms I was experiencing were the support act to the main show.
At 43 I just fell apart. No confidence, a lot of ugly crying, didn't know how to dress, fell so unfeminine. My gp put me on anti depressants.
If I had known better, I would have tracked my symptoms and asked for a trans dermal dose of HRT. If I had started taking a micro dose back then, it would have saved me a lot of misdiagnosed conditions and referrals to specialists for unexplained uti infections which were so distressing.
I know better now. I have still never been offered HRT but I know how to manage my symptoms better. Keeping a health diary, and reducing external stress are the 2 biggest things I woukd recommend.
Take your diary to your gp so you're not sitting struggling to remember it all.”

“A few years ago I went to a well woman check up as invited by my GP practice. I mentioned to the nurse that I thought I was heading towards the menopause- “ just get on with it and next time come back as a man “ was her response!
In recent weeks I went to the doctors with a painful knee and decided while I was there to broach the subject of HRT. I just wanted a conversation about it. I’m managing my symptoms as best I can but am really interested in the benefit of HRT with regards heart health and osteoporosis. She suggested a phone consultation the next week and booked me in. She suggested I get the balance app and be ready to tell her exactly what my symptoms are. She said I would receive some texts about HRT so I could have a think about what I may want ( they never arrived)
I felt hopeful!!!
The day of the phone appointment arrived… I waited with my phone close by, not wanting to miss the call having done all the preparation she had requested-my phone rang no more than twice- by the time I picked it up it had stopped ringing. I never got my phone appointment.
I give up!!!! Can’t get through to the doctors, I’m at work all day.”

“I’m 53 and started on HRT tablets, Novofem, 3 years ago. I was still having periods at this point so the GP told me this was the only type of HRT I could have. They initially helped with the night sweats, memory loss and fatigue but my periods became extremely painful and heavy. After 18 months I saw another GP who changed me on to Evorel Conti HRT patches with the promise that these would stop my periods altogether. Unfortunately they had the opposite effect and I bled continuously for 6 months. I saw numerous GPs during this time and was told there was no other option and that eventually the bleeding would stop. I never really felt that any of the Doctors I saw were truly knowledgeable on the menopause, or that they were interested. Astonishingly one of them actually said to me, “A 150 years ago the majority of women died before reaching the menopause.” as though this excused their lack of knowledge.
By December 2021 I was in a bad way, totally exhausted, and suffering with debilitating anxiety and insomnia. After numerous failed attempts I managed to get through to my surgery and then attended an appointment with yet another GP. He told me I needed to come off HRT completely and told me that the NICE guidelines now advise that women suffering with menopausal symptoms should take a low dose antidepressant. He started me on Fluoxetine which he said would definitely get rid of the insomnia. This was nothing short of a disaster. My insomnia and anxiety got even worse. I literally couldn’t sleep at all. I work full time for the NHS in a very stressful job and I just couldn’t cope. I went off sick. The GP told me these side effects would subside, so to stick with the fluoxetine. They didn’t subside, I felt as though I was going mad. Finally I managed to get a phone consultation with another GP. She told me I should never have been put on Fluoxetine as it can exacerbate and cause insomnia. I was so angry and felt so let down by the NHS. I am now on a different low dose antidepressant, Mirtazapine but was told I couldn’t go on another type of HRT for at least 6 months as I may start bleeding again. The Mirtazapine has helped with my anxiety and insomnia but unfortunately as I am not on any HRT now I have developed severe joint pain, mainly in my hips and Achilles, making walking and exercising very painful. Honestly I’m now at a loss of where to turn next. I feel as though I’ve aged 10 years in the last 12 months.”

“I am 39. 3 years ago my periods became very erratic. They ranged from 12 days to 59 days apart. I rapidly started gained weight around my waist which had always been slim. My migraines worsened. I started waking up in the night despite having great sleep hygiene and habits, and then more recently the night sweats started between 3 and 4 am. Waking up feeling like I was in a furnace. Overall I experience 21 of the possible symptoms of peri-menopause on a regular basis. I have spoken to three doctors and they tell me that I am too young to be in the peri-menopause phase. I have a genetic condition which can bring about early menopause but my GP will not consider it.
I have done some research and am trying to manage my symptoms naturally. I eat healthily and exercise. However, I work in education and have a responsible job. It feels really hard sometimes and I wonder how long I can keep going.”

“The worse thing for me is what I would describe as 'mindstorms'. I’ve had whole conversations with my husband, where I remember exactly what he said, and where he was standing when we were talking. Then it turned out that they NEVER HAPPENED.

There was one time where I’d dropped off one of his drawings and been paid in cash. The person paying me had rolled up the notes and kept them together with a rubber band like some kind of dodgy drug deal. He asked for the money, and I told him I’d already given it to him. I specifically remembered, you see, because he’d chuckled when he’d seen the rolled up notes. That “chuckle” came back to haunt me when I found the money tucked safely away in my cycling bag. I’d never given it to him. It was all in my mind. We now have a family gag, where they can challenge anything I say by chanting “was I chuckling when I said that?”

I’ve unknowingly sent random texts that mean nothing, that I don’t remember sending. I’ve thought that I’ve seen messages from people that have never happened, but I’ve responded to. I have huge holes in my vocabulary; ordinary words that I’ve used regularly for years that I just can’t find in my head.

Don’t even get me started on names. I consistently dreaded the horror of talking to clients or my team, and then simply failing to find the words. Embarrassing and humiliating are the first words that come to mind (if I haven’t "lost" them, that is). But it’s the cold spread of fear that really took a hold in the beginning, which definitely exacerbated the problem. The desperate grasping for an alternative word, while trying to keep my poise and professionalism, rather than just wanting to curl up in a ball and make it all stop.”

“I was given an emergency full hysterectomy at the age of 40. I was given HRT but it didn’t suit me, probably because I still had all my own hormones and giving me more sent me back two decades and I felt emotionally all over the place. I was told that HRT doesn’t work for everyone and I would have to get on with it. The following 10 years I battled silently with feelings of self loathing, I was depressed a lot, couldn’t think straight, I lost my confidence in who I was and felt unwomanly to say the least. What happened then was much much worse and has affected my life in a way I never thought possible. Sex became unbearably painful, it felt like a knife was being stuck in me each time and I bled. My husband hated hurting me and because I was so embarrassed being so young I didn’t share any of this with a single person. I felt it was not a subject that could be discussed. My marriage has now fallen apart and I am completely heartbroken. The love of my life started to resent me as I had unconsciously pushed him away so as not to get hurt. If someone had told me, or there was a forum where I could discuss what I was going through then, I have no doubts my marriage would have been saved. Menopause is something that should be discussed openly, without shame. Thank you for giving me the chance to share here.”

“My GP knew the minimum about HRT but was wise enough to listen to the research I'd undertaken into body identical gel. This was 10 years ago when HRT was still out of favour due to the flawed million women study. My Mum had sailed through meno and I was expecting the same. First my brain started to go, memory was terrible, couldn't think of a word and stopped mid sentence forgetting my train of thought. I was in constant joint pain. Completely lost my confidence and floundered in my profession. Head tremor followed. Started HRT oestrdiol and progesterone. Bleeding was horrendous and I couldn't get it under control with medication. GP said I was too old for a hysterectomy so I could continue HRT. I paid for a private appointment with an NHS female gynaecologist who agreed it was a good way forward and wrote to my GP who then referred me, I recovered from the hysterectomy quickly. I feel alive on HRT. I work and look after my Grandchildren. I'm fit with minimum joint pain. No head tremor. Good sex drive and healthy knicker department. I will take HRT until I die.”

“Breast cancer survivor of 7 years. I was thrown into surgical menopause at 40 and basically left to ‘get on with it’. I did for 5 years, best I could. The last 2 have been horrendous. My symptoms: vaginal dryness, painful bladder, aching bones & joints, broken/restless sleep, anxiety, tearfulness, flushes, horrrndous ibs symptoms (never had a problem before) headaches, crawling/dry skin and dizziness. My male GP told me menopause lasts for 4 yrs and I should go for a run. I’ve swapped now but no continuity of care, left to flounder as what to do. So not only have I to survive breast cancer, I’ve got to survive the menopause. I’ve waited 15 months to see a menopause oncology team - May 2022 it’s been a long wait! I wonder if male parts burned they’d be told to go for a run!! I’m still here though! Half the person I used to be (lost stone through ibs) hanging on by my finger nails!”

“Eleven years ago a friend of mine in Italy was diagnosed with peri-menopause - I’d never heard of it and if I had taken the time to research it (I’m not sure there was much information available back then ) I would have realised I was going through the same - extreme night sweats, crippling anxiety, one bout of major hair loss, worsening migraines were the symptoms I experienced at the time. A few years on I started to have other symptoms, thought I had early onset of dementia. Then I took on a new job when a colleague left and I fell apart - I couldn’t concentrate/learn/remember/retain information (brain fog - I was convinced I had early onset dementia) and the stress exacerbated my symptoms. I wasn’t sleeping and that made everything worse. It wasn’t until I had suicidal thoughts (which I knew were not “me” at all - I’m a happy person) and intimacy with my husband became impossible that I sought help from the GP. I was told I was too young to be going through the menopause (I was 48 by this time and had suffered in silence/ignorance for several years already). After an examination during the same visit (after I broke down in tears describing what had happened to my intimate life) I was told there was nothing wrong and to google lubricants. A few months later I booked a private appointment and was given HRT Sandrena gel, utrogestan and vagifem immediately - atrophy and prolapse were mentioned - I went home and researched what that meant as I’d never heard of it! I settled quickly into feeling much much better (by this time I’d given up
my job as couldn’t handle the stress from the brain fog and commute - I was exhausted all the time). A few years on and the shortage began. Post coronavirus it’s impossible to get an appointment with the GP. I decided to quietly just halve the Sandrena dose (easy to do as it’s a gel applied to the skin) and ride it out until stocks stabilised. The first week was fine but last week I had thumping headaches, crippling migraines, sleepless nights, heavy night sweats, exhaustion, bleeding, sugar level dives (weird for me - can this be related??) and cotton wool brain (forgetting what I’m saying mid sentence) - there was something else but I’ve forgotten what it was now. In 4 years I’ve never had an HRT review - the private gynae has moved to a different part of the country and my GP confessed a few years ago to not knowing anything about HRT). I’ve looked into paying to go privately again as there are some menopause specialist clinics in the area now - £200 for first visit and they have no appointments for a few months. I now have one month full supply of HRT again and HOPING that this won’t be disrupted again by shortages next month!!!! Please….”

“I was misdiagnosed as ‘going through the menopause’ by a doctor who misread my blood test results (I was on the verge of fertility treatment so pretty devastated). It was only because an amazing acupuncturist I was seeing queried the diagnosis that I asked for a second opinion and discovered that I wasn’t menopausal at all. A gynae also brought it up after seeing my medical notes and confirmed the misdiagnosis.

A few years later I was diagnosed with clinical depression after being asked just a couple of questions by my GP. I disagreed and insisted that I felt stressed, not depressed, but was still given a prescription. I now believe I was peri-menopausal. I took the anti-depressants for a few weeks, hated how they made me feel and weaned myself off despite reluctance from my GP. My doctor and subsequent ones have never asked me about my ‘clinical depression’ or followed up and checked how I’m doing.

I have just started HRT at 55 after hearing friends’ positive experiences. It has never been recommended or mentioned as an option by any doctor. My GP was positive when I asked about it but the gel she prescribed had been out of stock for quite a while. Exactly the same happened to a neighbour. Some did come in and I now have 3 months’ worth but am wary what will happen once that runs out. Some women I know have been put on the spray without being told to adjust the dose and I’m reluctant to switch when I’m getting on ok with the gel.

The way women are being treated right through peri menopause and beyond is shoddy and shocking. Doctors seem desperate to get us onto anti-depressants so why is there a nationwide reluctance to prescribe HRT?”

“I'm so glad I can share my story with people who get it. I need to tell it but be warned its long. I'm 49 started HRT 2mths ago. Not my old self yet but there's light.
My really painful periods that bought me to my knees crying in the middle of a supermarket got so bad I had a gynaecology procedure done to line my womb to reduce flow. Also seeing GPS about my arthritic pains (don't have arthritis) heart palpations (nothing wrong saw cardiologist) getting hot (blood pressure fine cos I'm far to heavy). The gynaecology procedure led to 6 yrs of increasing pain was rushed to A&E with confirmed appendicitis but was a gynaecology problem. Finally saw the right by chance stand in consultant and diagnosed my PATSS. No ones ever heard of it not even the 5 other drs. My periods were still really heavy they just couldn't come out. So when I kept saying to them all it feels like I'm miscaring for 10 days I've had several and now the pain, then bleeding lightly, then for another 10 days having contractions , yes contractions they all thought I was nuts apart from him. Which led to my hysterectomy. He explained it I have been tubuler sterilised my womb lined so when my lining wanted to come away(have a period) it couldn't fully so the pressure built up expanding my womb my tubes tied hence the contractions my body needed to get rid of it and couldn't hence the miscarriage feeling as well. I wanted people to know this as I've never heard of anyone else but there must be so many we need to know options and decide for ourself with the correct information.
I WAS PERI now I know didn't until a few months ago.
Hysterectomy they left my ovaries so not to start my menopause. Didn't bloody work now know why. Dr says might get it probably when I do will be like my female relatives. My mum had nightmare and was told at the same appointment as my mum was with me my nan was sectioned. Never knew that. Saw several GPs they all said I was that age lose weight, it was piling on but couldn't work out why all my symptoms were escalating. I was told to buy over the counter vitamins as I was to high risk for getting cancer if I took HRT. Years of decline suicide thoughts told them same old reply. This year after all the media and excellent information out there I rang my Dr's and said I want it, I'm having it, give it to me. I bloody smoke there's no greater risk of getting cancer than that. But I'm in control now thanks all the message spreaders. I tell everyone I meet I'm menopausal - everyone. Spreading the word and not be frightened of it . KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.”

“I woke up one morning at the age of 41 with horrific heart palpitations. They descended completely out of the blue. I was absolutely fine one day and a shadow of myself the next. didn’t know what was wrong with me. It was terrifying. It made me extremely anxious . To the point where I felt I couldn’t leave my house. I eventually went to talk to a ( male) GP. When I described my symptoms , within minutes he offered me Beta Blockers. I refused as I was concerned about what he says about then filling my emotions. I already felt like I had lost s big part of who I was. I found other ways to manage the anxiety the palpitations were causing. Eventually they calmed down. It was only several years later when I began reading about menopause I realised that it had probably been the early signs of Perimenopause. If my GP had recognised that and explained it to me it would have made a huge difference to the crippling anxiety my unexplained palpitations were having. I’m horrified now that the GP was so quick to diagnose anxiety medication without taking my age and symptoms properly into account.”

“About four years ago, when I was 57, I was feeling down and anxious. I had been through the menopause, but didn't realise that low mood was also part of it. I went to the doctors and saw a locum doctor, an older man, who when I burst into tears, was too busy looking at the computer and had trouble understanding what I was saying. Without really looking at me, he gave me a prescription for antidepressants and self referral for counselling. I came out embarrassed and also felt like asking the receptionist if he really was a doctor!
I threw the prescription away, I didn't want medication. But I had counselling, where menopause wasn't even discussed.
About a year later, I went to the doctors on another matter. This time it was the female practice doctor, I thought 'she will understand', I mentioned I had low mood at times and wondered if it was the menopause, she just looked at me, smiled and nothing! I left the surgery upset that even she didn't want to know. So I continue to suffer and at 61, it looks like it's too late for HRT, and did I really need to go through years of low mood?”

“I was told i couldn't have hrt because i had high blood pressure . Ive now found out you can.For the past 10yrs I've suffered with depression, I've had awful anxiety, I've cried so many times, hot flushes, joint aches, brain fog where I've thought I might be getting dementia.
Through all this I've nursed my husband who past away with cancer , my mum who had dementia, nursed my brother who past away with cancer and been a carer for my son who has autism and a learning disability .
I really wish I had not just accepted that I couldn't go on hrt. after reading how its helped so many people. I know I've had a tough time with what I've had to cope with but I do think taking hrt would have helped me cope better I'm still suffering now with those symptoms at 65.”

“I'm struggling massively with menopause and tried to take my own life 3 weeks ago... Dr's kept misdiagnosing me offering me counselling and more anti depressants. It wasnt until I demanded a female GP who checked my bloods, and i needed HRT, which saved my life ❤️.”

“At 39 I started with peri-menopuase symptoms, although I didn’t know it at the time.
My face would be dripping with sweat for no reason, I contacted my GP and they changed my antidepressant. It made no difference.
I got recurrent UTI’s (one every 6 weeks) and was told I was wiping incorrectly (back to front - I wasn’t).
My joints ACHED so very bad. I was told to lose weight.
I was very tearful and low in mood, I was already on antidepressants following post-natal anxiety, I remember telling them they weren’t working anymore. I was told to switch antidepressants.
I complained of awful fatigue. Again, I was told to lose weight.
At one point I was asked if my periods were regular, they were so I was told it wasn’t menopause.
Then I didn’t have a period for 3 months. Then I bled for 6 weeks. My GP (after one year of all the above symptoms) said I may be peri-menopausal at 40. That was it.
No tests, no referral, no “would you like anything”. Nothing. I’ve had to go private.”

“I am 48 and perimenopausal. I am still trying to find the right hrt as nothing seems to be working for me. My symptoms are pretty wide ranging, joint pain, exhaustion, brain fog, very low mood and suicidal thoughts, poor sleep, digestive issues. The list goes on! I am so tired! I am self employed and my lack of confidence and inability to think straight is making me reconsider a successful business that I have built over the past 10 years. I really hope that I can find the right treatment, I’d love to wake up one day feeling joyful and pain free.”

“Until 2021I’d never heard of peri menopause. Thanks to the discussions now going on regularly on tv and social media I realised that all the symptoms I’d been displaying for the last 3/4 years were likely to be the beginning of my peri menopause journey. I think I ticked off around 30 of the symptom list! I first went to the doctor early 2022 to discuss this and ask about going on HRT. He told me that there were antidepressants that offer the same relief against my night sweats and hot flushes and would help with the anxiety I’d been feeling without the risks of HRT. So I believed him and took them for a month. I noticed no change at all. In the meantime I read deeper into the research around perimenopause and HRT and definitely knew that’s what I wanted and indeed needed. So at my next appointment i went armed with books and notes and after telling him I was aware of the risks and also the benefits of HRT. He prescribed me patches and within one week my night sweats had stopped and most of my other symptoms are beginning to show early signs of improvement. Hearing some horror stories about the lack of support from doctors I do feel like one of the luckier ones. I know this is only the beginning and there may need to be tweaks to things but I am eternally grateful for the army of women who have begun to raise awareness of what is a life changing time for EVERY woman.”

“My symptoms started at 31. At 36 periods just stopped and I felt lost, but it took around a year to get the dr to send me for tests to confirm. All of this with two young children and a full time career to manage. It has taken a long time to work out my HRT needs, and to have this unavailable has caused me so much anxiety and upset. At 40 I feel I can talk about it now, but I have found this journey very dark and very lonely. I can’t accept that I could be seen as weak because I’d something I’ve had no control or support over. Young women shouldn’t be fobbed off either. I still have struggles, but cannot comprehend how something that around 50% of people will go through is still not taken seriously. I was not taken seriously, and almost felt humiliated by the experience of repeatedly discussing some quite frankly intimate and personal details. I wonder if it would be different if it were the other 50%. It’s time to address the concerns and make sure GPs are trained. And the HRT supply to the UK should not be substandard. It’s embarrassing and could destroy lives. It’s my absolute lifesaver. I couldn’t live without it.”

“I wouldn't know where to start with my story, im still waiting for a HRT prescription, ive had blood clots in the past so I needed to be referred to a specialist, had the appointment with a consultant and after a check up following slight spotting after 4 years into the menopause which turned out fine I am still waiting to be offered HRT, ive been back and forth for the past 2 years with no help, I've lost confidence, suffer anxiety, palpitations, hair loss, sleepless nights and I continue to work full time.... how long must this mis treatment have to go on?”

“I was misdiagnosed, sent to sexual health clinic and cryotherapy applied to my cervix. I was denied HRT when I asked for it directly from my GP. I struggled with depression, brain fog, flushes and got no support at work. I cried and suffered for 3 years and even after getting HRT with the support from Davina's program, I had to take what was given without discussion and fight to keep my thyroid medication being decreased at the same consultation. I had to stop working as my confidence could not recover despite some benefit from the HRT. I felt that management had a poor opinion of me that nothing would change and for the sake of my self esteem, all I could do was leave. I could not look for alternative employment due to poor confidence. I am now unemployed.”

“I have suffered from migraines (classic migraine – one-sided blindness in an eye, hypersensitivity to light and noise, vasodilation of blood vessels in the brain, stiff neck, etc.) since I was in primary school – it runs in my mother’s side of the family.

But despite the excruciating pain I, nothing could prepare me for what lay ahead during menopause. Migraines that once lasted one to two days at most during childhood, were now stretching up to five days long, and the pain was infinitely worse. Much of the time I was bed-ridden. It was also accompanied by extreme nausea, loss of balance, and at one point I began to thinking I was suffering from some form of early onset dementia - I was struggling to think coherently. One thing I’ve seemed to escape has been the hot flushes. Hopefully, it will still that way.

As I’m a physiologist (neuro) – and when I had my neuro head on – I realised it was most probably the product of menopausal changes. However, it made the sudden memory losses no less exasperating; fingers crossed I am now emerging from the worst side of it, and feel more like my old self again.

This whole experience has lasted around three and a half to four years and hopefully I am now making a full recovery – I will be able to do the humble things I enjoyed doing before the storm arrived e.g., walking in the park; meeting up with friends, being able to sit at my computer or simply relax with a book.

I wouldn’t wish this on anyone – and if you are suffering, seek help. I have never been prescribed and medication: keep pushing for help.”

“I had a bilateral oophorectomy age 33 along with a hysterectomy. I left the hospital with HRT however my GP then told me that due to my age they could not prescribe me the HRT and I would have to get it privately. They did not offer a referral to the local menopause clinic and refused to do my blood hormone levels. I have never felt so ill, so unable to function and so let down by the NHS. I had a one year old and three year old and was unable to leave my bed due to menopausal symptoms which I was being told by the GP were normal. I have had to fight so hard to access HRT and wonder what happens to those women who do not stand up for themselves and fight.”

“At 42 my periods stopped. I thought nothing of it. Definitely didn’t think menopause. I was too young surely. I went to see a female specialist who thought it was peri menopause. She took some blood and I got a letter a week later to say I wasn’t in fact peri-menopausal, and just left alone. Fast forward 2 years-ish, I went to my GP practise. I was seen by a young male doctor. I told him I hadn’t had a period for over a year and was feeling a bit low. Straight away he offered me anti-depressants. I told him I wasn’t depressed. He insisted. I then asked him if it was his mum sitting here saying the same thing would he offer her antidepressants? He fumbled and mumbled. Anyhow I left with antidepressants. I never actually took them.

I decided then to see a specialist menopause lady doctor. She put me on Everol Conti. It helped for a period of time. This was in 2017. I then started struggling with the patch. Not feeling myself at all. Overwhelmed, anxious, angry, all the things I’m not. I called my GP who took me off the patch and put me on Everol 50, with utrogestan tablets. After 3 days of taking the pills I could feel the anxiety racing through my body, so I stopped and was only on Everol 50 with no progesterone, no womb protection. But thankfully I have had regular scans to check the womb thickness.

Fast forward to 2020 I was introduced to yet another menopause specialist. Explained everything. I was still feeling great and was concerned about the lack of protection to the womb. She said carry on the Everol 50 and try the utrogestan vaginally for 10 days. This would mean the drug would go direct to the womb and lessen any side effects. I did this for 10 days. On day 7 I felt terrible, so didn’t take again. Still at a loss and feeling bad I was introduced to yet another doctor, a male gynaecologist. I explained my journey. He wanted to take blood, no one had taken any blood for nearly 6 years! I was low in oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone.
I am now 3 months under him. And we are trying 1 thing at a time.
We tried a new oestrogen in Lenzetto. Felt ok for the 1st month, with only Lenzetto. Then we tried progesterone, this time Provera. He suggested I take it twice a day for 10 days, every 3 months. I didn’t feel great and to be honest I’m now 3 weeks in taking it and still don’t feel great. I’m going back to see him in 4 weeks time.
The journey to my perfect HRT is on going !
Oh and I have osteopenia too. This journey has affected my life so much, relationships have suffered greatly. Men need educating!”

“Just after I turned 40 I started to have constant night sweats, waking up in the middle of the night feeling anxious and other symptoms. I went to the GP about these...they said it was depression. I was apparently too young to have started the perimenopause so they put me on anti depressants. I am now 44 and still taking them. This week I made a private appointment with a menopause specialist who prescribed me HRT as my symptoms were classic signs of the start of menopause.”

“Not knowing where to begin over a long 10 year time span but getting ever more distant from finding help with mental fog, they call it, is a depressing fearful state of mind that sucks you ever downwards, feeling deeply out of control, leading to stress, leading to joint pains, headaches and lack of sleep. No rest was long enough to ever feel rested or ready to take on tasks.

I blamed myself and my lack of ability.

Sure enough, I was alone with all my problems, there were no help centres nor advice with any of my difficulties.

I had a mountain of paperwork, jobs to get through to look after my ageing mother, suffering with dementia and short term memory loss. She had been held in Care homes after accidents. Fighting authorities to release her, took its toll on my body and energy.

Where is the help for your parent issues? I know, if there was a Social Service mental specialist coming in, or having a class to aid mental degeneration…it would have helped me cope. There is zero help, nothing. As an only child, I now suddenly had all the finances to worry about, not just my home but now my mum’s home to look after. There were two gardens, lack of money, carers to find and employ to cook the food I had to buy for her. All this and I had brain fog, depression, and it felt like my life was over. My only child was too busy working and far away to be supportive.

It is no wonder women have such a tough time during this phase in their lives, when their bodies are changing, losing their hormones and gaining many more problems to battle with. We are often alone, without guidance or ability. Tough times!

I have a fibroid, so I was told I could not take hormones for nearly 10 years. I can’t remove my fibroids, as I’ll have no help with my recovery time after the operation, so I struggle on.
Decided to try HRT recently, despite the chances of growing my fibroid, I am taking that chance to try to help myself.

After 3 months, I requested a Hormone Specialist to discuss my symptoms, this resulted in her giving me a stronger dose. It never arrived at my doctor’s surgery and he advised me to stick to the lowest dose for safety..?
I am on patches, yet I am still told I may be a breast cancer issue, advising me to have a mammogram, and keep checking…worryingly!
So, I’m on edge taking HRT due to my doctor’s reluctance to increase my dose, I can’t contact the Specialist as no number given, stale mate after all my efforts and requests!
Thought I’d share…
Take care of your mental needs everyone. x”

“I was suffering with extreme tiredness, head fog, hot flushes and night sweats. Doctors did numerous blood tests over about 18 months, all of which came back clear!! It was only after me asking if it could be my hormones, that my levels were checked. When I spoke to a male doctor I was told that my hormone levels were ‘normal for my age’ during a telephone consultation and no help was offered. I called my GP surgery again and said I wasn’t happy with this and I needed help as my symptoms were seriously affecting my life and I was struggling to cope. They arranged for the doctor that deals with women’s health to call me and she said it was a good idea to try HRT. I am so much better now, the sweats have gone, so has the brain fog, I’m still tired but it’s a drastic improvement to how I was. My advice to any lady out there suffering, get help and don’t accept what your doctor says if it doesn’t help you, ask to speak to someone else.”

“Over three years of constant bleeding, night sweats, crippling migraines twice a month, and horrific fatigue and being told I was “too young” because my bloods ‘were normal’; I finally got a lovely gynae who confirmed from latest bloods that I’d actually reached menopause at 39 and had in fact been in perimenopause the whole time. He started me on a high dose of HRT which he said I should have been on before as I’m high risk for osteoporosis due to my age.”

“I’ve been suffering from symptoms since I was 45. Initially I wasn’t really listened to and my symptoms were kind of rejected because of my age. Only blood tests were done. For the past five years, I’ve gone nine months then four months and then five months without periods. I tried my best to go through these things naturally because I’ve got a bit of a fear of taking drugs because of having bad experiences on the contraceptive pill. Both times I took it symptoms were depression, blood clots, low libido etc

I’ve been trying to get HRT for the past 8 months, even went so far as to get a private GP to refer me which was great and fast, but my symptoms made me forgetful and I missed the call from the clinic because it was an unknown number on my phone. Then they put me straight to the bottom of the list. I was left waiting another 3 months for another call, and in the meantime I had low mood, low motivation, living through covid and teenage kids (one of which is a borderline anorexic, anxious and harming herself). I had no period for 9 months then one, then none, hot flushes, dry skin, no libido and forgetfulness. The anxiety I felt over the past year has been extreme to say the least. I definitely had very dark thoughts especially throughout the winter. I’m sure there’s more I could write about this but I’m exhausted. Thank you for listening. Xxx”

“I had 20 symptoms of the perimenopause for over 18 months - including static shocks, sweating, mood swings, monthly UTIs, palpitations - with my GP treating each symptom separately, before I wrote to them with my list and said I wanted HRT. When I was finally prescribed meds and gel it was such a relief. However my local pharmacies have now run out of the gel so the GP prescribed spray, which is also not available. I have now been given patches which are not working as well, and I am struggling with my job as I am so exhausted and stressed. I have to have phone appointments with my GP and wait up to a week for one of these. I am in despair.”

“I felt like my world was falling apart, that I was falling apart.
No one had been listening to me for years, I kept saying this is all linked to my hormones but the GP insisted it couldn’t be as I was still having a period… albeit a very different and short.
I ran my own business and felt I was losing control, being a mum I felt like I was failing and my husband just got pushed aside. The anxiety was overwhelming…I felt like ‘what is the point, if life is going to be like this I don’t want to live it.’
After turning 45 and changing GP’s I finally got some HRT… gel. Suddenly the fog started to lift… I was sleeping better, the flushes died down and my mood lifted. Then the gel shortage messed things up. Very quickly my mood dropped again and I requested a change to patches. These are now just starting to settle in.
I don’t feel perfect but things have certainly helped. Now for some good nutrition, exercise and self care.
It’s because of people like you that really gave me the courage to fight for help. Thank you x”

“I have been on HRT for almost 20 years but for some reason 4 different doctors refused to prescribe it again and I have suffered badly but now I have found a new lady doctor who has prescribed it again and I feel normal again. I live in Australia and the same thing happens here it often goes off the market”

“An educated woman in my mid fifties with a background early on in women’s health I’ve run a successful business for the past twenty years. Ten years ago I began to experience anxiety which at first I put down to over work. However over the years I’ve come to realise this is a common symptom of menopause. The slow realisation of these psychological symptoms has had a considerable effect on my work and personal relationships. Given my medical background I’m disappointed but unsurprised that menopause has been overlooked for so long. Men in previous generations have dismissed the impact menopause has on the majority of women. Indeed Women rarely voiced these huge impactful life changing symptoms until recently, they’ve kept silent for fear they might be labelled whinging, over emotional or worse psychologically unstable.
Ten years on, I’m not the person I once was, I accept menopause may have caused these symptoms but am disappointed that so little is known about the myriad of symptoms, that male gynaecologists whom I’ve been referred to have had added insult to injury by suggesting my time as a useful female ended with my menopause.

I take HRT and am fully aware of the broad benefits this offers me mentally and physically. I want to use my own work platform to add my voice to this growing conversation, scrap that last sentence, I want to scream
from the rooftops my experience in the hope that other women get the support at the very beginning and throughout this protracted period in our lives.”

“I honestly didn't know what was happening to me, I'm now 51 symptoms started at 45/46 I thought that the grief of losing my brother was to blame. Was rushed to hospital with racing heart and was told it was a panic attack, referred three times to GP, heart specialist, found all normal, carried on with terrible anxiety, referred to councillors at no point did anyone say this could be peri menopause, only when I spoke to a friend who was on HRT did I realise it could be hormones. Now on HRT most of my symptoms have gone.”

“The sleep deprivation & poor memory were making it pretty much impossible for me to carry on working as a nurse before I started on HRT.”"

“It’s funny how when it comes to expressing how peri menopause has impacted me my mind has gone blank!! Oh yeah that’s brain fog, one of many symptoms I’m suffering with at present. I say suffering as that’s exactly what it feels like, something has taken over my body & mind and I’m certainly not the same woman I was 2 years ago. I am 48 and whilst I’m actually excited to say my HRT plan is in place and it’s all about timing now.
I don’t wear makeup anymore, my hair desperately needs dying, extreme joint pain, insomnia, tinnitus, anxiety, confidence, itchy ….. you name it I’m struggling. I sadly left my job Oct 2021 I worked for the NHS and went to pieces, I was supported but I just crashed completely so I made the decision for my health and myself to step away. I kept family at a distance, I just wanted to be on my own safe in my home, I didn’t want to go out, eat, couldn’t sleep…. I just sat there!!! I can only hope once HRT kicks in I’ll be able to work and enjoy living a life where I feel normal again.”

“My menopause journey began with my fertility journey, after suffering from irregular periods after a year trying to conceive, I was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Insufficiency (POI) at the age of 34, I was working as a specialist women’s health nurse and despite all the knowledge I had still sat alone in my bedroom wondering what to do and who to talk to! Looking back, I think I started to suffer years before with symptoms such as anxiety, irritability, fatigue and abnormal periods.

Sadly, our fertility treatment was unsuccessful due to another rare condition progesterone sensitivity, and my husband and I had to accept a future without children. I also had to juggle the symptoms of a premature menopause which were so severe at one point I thought I had early on set dementia as I kept forgetting things, making mistakes and suffered severe anxiety, I even left a job due to an unsupportive employer. A diagnosis of premature menopause meant being out of step with your friends and family members who were all having children with no one to talk to or share experiences. Many friends just did not know what to say or couldn't understand. I had little support from my GP and my mum had to pay for private healthcare so I could see a specialist, have a bone density scan and get the right medication. A nurse’s salary just wasn’t enough to cover the costs!

It took many months of trial and error to get the right HRT and regime for me, it has always seemed an uphill struggle with few healthcare professionals having the knowledge to support my condition or willing to make a referral to someone that could help, often I have had to keep fighting for basic treatment such as local oestrogen alongside my HRT which took me 3 appointments and over a year to get via my GP. I joined the Daisy Network a few years ago, it was great to know there was others like me I could talk to and seek more support.

What would be my tip for other women, don’t be afraid to talk to others or ask for help, this took me many years to get the courage to do so, now I don’t want to stop talking! I do feel more information is out there and many wonderful women have done a fantastic job talking all things menopause.
I don’t want other women to feel alone and sit in their bedroom wondering what to do like I did, if just one woman reads my story, and it helps then my work is done. My mum’s support continues, and she is now helping me self-fund my PhD which will be looking at women’s lived experiences of early menopause.”

“My symptoms of peri-menopause started in my early 40s and I had my last period age 47 by which time my long list of symptoms had really ramped up. Due to my family history of BC I was offered antidepressants by the first doctor I saw and told HRT was not an option for me with my family history. I had a hideous few months with side effects and withdrawal symptoms coming off them.
Second doctor I saw was far more knowledgeable and discussed the risks vs benefits for me starting HRT, gave me some further reading “Oestrogen Matters” and I agreed to start the safest and lowest risk combination Body Identical HRT - Oestrogel and Utrogestan (micronised progesterone).
I felt the benefits very quickly and increased my starting dose at 3 months, after another 3 months I still felt some symptoms were creeping back in, this also coincided with my first Covid vaccine and a house move to a new area during lockdown. I had some episodes of very heavy bleeding which was a shock after being period free for some time, plus my meno symptoms seemed to return with a vengeance and my mood became very low with dark thoughts.
My new GP at a new surgery ordered a scan which showed a slightly thickened womb lining and I was diagnosed with iron deficiency from all the bleeding.
The bleeding stopped and my Oestrogel was increased to 4 pumps but after another 3 months I still didn’t feel that dose was managing my symptoms. (This coincided with the Oestrogel branding change).
The GP agreed to test my estradiol levels as I was at maximum licensed dose (this is perfectly reasonable to request). I was then switched to Estradot patches 100 to see if I absorbed better, however no improvement and felt worse very quickly but told to wait another 3 months.
I was so desperate by this point that I sought and paid for a private consultation for guidance and my GP agreed to refer me to an NHS Menopause Clinic - the area I now live in doesn’t have one so another area covers my area as well as their area and the waiting lists are very long.
My GP also agreed to increase by patches slightly by 25 to 125 on the advice from my private consultation.
At this point I had my Covid booster and started bleeding again, scans showed my womb lining to be very thick at 17mm and I was referred for hysteroscopy and biopsies.
After a traumatic out patient appointment I was referred to have the biopsies done under General anaesthetic.
Results came back normal, no hyperplasia or malignancy which was a huge relief. I was advised to stop my HRT while these investigations were carried out but I didn’t stop as I didn’t want to feel any worse than I already was.
Another Estradiol test showed a disappointingly low level which was apparent with my ongoing symptoms.
I’ve just had my NHS Menopause Clinic appointment and have now been prescribed a double dose of Utrogestan to thin my womb lining and a switch to Sandrena gel at a high dose to get my levels up (if I can source it with the current shortages).
So after an 18 month HRT journey so far, I’m still not there, a lot of perseverance, telephone calls, investigations and procedures however I remain determined to find the right HRT to manage my symptoms and protect my future health.”

“Alone isn’t even a word I felt abandoned and frightened by family and friends – I tried to explain how I was feeling – no-one seemed to get how could they when I didn’t know myself!! All I knew was that I was losing myself, I didn’t feel like me, I wasn’t sleeping, I was comfort eating to keep the symptoms at bay, I was losing my hair, my skin was dry – to name a few!!
I had some really dark days that gave me flash backs of my post-natal depression. I was driving home from the school run I looked at the grass verge and wondered what would happen if I drove into it – would I be ok? Would it be serious? What the police and ambulance attend? Would my husband cope? These intrusive thoughts came in so quickly and at speed they were scary but also, a wake-up call that I wasn’t well.
I seemed to be the only person in the world that secretly welcomed lockdown – I didn’t have to battle my symptoms at work – didn’t have to pretend I was ok – didn’t have attend meetings in person – no more seeking the seat closest to the door in case I needed to leave in a state of panic. Lockdown for me took the pressure off. I was in the comfort of my own home and I loved it!
During lockdown I did contact the doctors on numerous times to describe how I was feeling – I was convinced I have something sinister wrong with me and thanks to Dr Google I had diagnosed myself with a number of illnesses and diseases. I was prescribed beta blockers even though my ECG was perfect! Electric shocks were massive but never knew how to describe them until I saw the Davina McCall Ch4 programme – then it all made sense!
The one doctor I did eventually speak to after yet another panic attack and vertigo episode while on a family day out – she listened, she nodded in all the right places and just told me to stop – those words ‘You would benefit from HRT lets get you started’ this was like a weight being lifted I could have given her a massive hug!
Few months down the line and I am better I can now pop into a supermarket without shear panic, I can go to work without worrying about how I am going to cope and the biggest thing for me I can take my little boy to the park without the fear! Occasionally I have the odd day, but I am back to my old self and have even joined our local gym – for someone who couldn’t even leave my house on occasions this is a massive achievement.
It’s with people like Davina McCall, Lisa Snowdon and Penny Lancaster raising these issues on social platforms is why people like me received the treatment I needed!”

“At age of 32 I started horrendous hot flushes, my periods stopped and I felt like I was having a breakdown. I didn't even know the word menopause. I suffered for 2 years before going to a well woman clinic that were available back then. I was given a single blood test and then told by a GP you have no hormones and you didn't want any kids anymore anyway. I actually did but it seems my choice was made up for me. I was then informed I had to have HRT or suffer with stomach cancer and osteoporosis. No other information was given. I went onto taking HRT. Every year I duly went for a review of sorts which consisted of taking my blood pressure no other communication was given and despite suffering with further mild symptoms the dosage was still kept very low. At age 48 my symptoms returned with a vengeance along with Vaginal Atrophy and extreme pain. I visited the GP and wow was my eyes opened with lack of knowledge. I was told I had thrush despite no swab taken and informed no other route would be taken. This did not work and I then had to get a further appointment which as I was told being in pain with vaginal atrophy was not an emergency took approx 5 weeks. I was then informed I had an STI despite stating I had not been sexually active for over 5 years, a swab was taken and I was informed a week later that great news no STI,No other forms of treatment was given and I was abandoned again. I then had to book another appointment a further 5 weeks later. All this time I was in excruciating pain that I couldn't sit, stand or wear clothing so this severely impacted my life and I felt suicidal. I visited the GP surgery to inform them of this and was told the GP on call refused to see me but would call me on the phone. I then had to stand outside the door they sat behind on the phone explaining in front of a crowded waiting room why and how my vagina felt on fire. Another time I had an appointment with a male doctor who promptly told me 'we all know what a sore vagina feels like' , so therefore very patronising. I then saw a female GP who decided all my symptoms were because I had been on HRT too long and proceded to take me off them and told me to do it cold turkey. I slowly withdrew myself and had the worst 2 years of my life as it took this long to get them represcribed, when this was eventually agreed I was handed the prescription by the same female GP and she informed me she was handing me a prescription for breast cancer and a stroke. I felt like my world was caving in on me. I changed GP surgeries at this point but although whilst more sympathetic openly agreed no knowledge of the menopause was had. I ended up with numerous scans, painful biopsies and visits to hospitals during the pandemic so anxiety that i already had was horrendous.i was then eventually given an appointment at a menopause clinic but i feel this was only because of my persistance and no offered freely. My journey is still continuing and I'm 55 years old now, still with symptoms and painful vaginal atrophy and trying to get my levels correct. The menopause clinic has prescribed the next level HRT to me but straight away discharged me back to the care of my GP who has no knowledge so if this doesnt work i start the process all again. My journey is going to be a long painful one still but I refuse to give up as I deserve a life.”

“I went to the doctors with anxiety breathlessness. Tightening of my chest and the overwhelming belief of imminent doom! I just felt terrible and in a constant state of panic. I saw a lady doctor who SHOULD have been able to help me but all she said she could do was have me checked out with regards to my family history of heart disease. I was then sent to a heart consultant and ended up having an angiogram which was of course fine. It was loose women on the tv that told me all my symptoms were connected with the menopause. I went privately to ask for HRT. It was like my doctor hadn’t ever heard of the menopause and I at that time had no idea panic attacks could be caused by the menopause. Thankyou so much loose ladies.”

“Looking back I have probably been perimenopausal for about 5 years ( I am 50 years old ) I suffered postnatal depression with all 3 of my grown up children and have been on antidepressants for years . About 5 years ago I started suffering for the very first time with crippling anxiety, I was given another 2 different antidepressants to try and combat this. I mentioned to my gp I thought maybe it could possibly be the start of menopause but I was dismissed immediately. The last 12 months have been living hell. The constant anxiety was crippling so much so I wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. I had an overwhelming feeling of being homesick as a child . I had insomnia, memory fog, hot flashes , irregular periods, heavy bleeding, it all became so bad that I shut myself away from friends and family and I literally couldn’t hold a conversation. I felt like the bubbly confident old me had been put away in a cupboard and someone I didn’t recognise had come out the cupboard and taken over my life. Again my gp wasn’t interested and upped all my medication but I knew this wasn’t the answer and after all the research I knew it was menopause. I somehow found the desperate strength to see a different gp who did listen and ask me what I wanted to do, I said I wanted to get off the antidepressants and try hrt . I’m four months in to my new her medication and off all my other medication and I feel better than I have in years . It’s not perfect but I’m getting there. I’m so sad I didn’t get listened too for the 4 years but you just have to do your research and demand the help you deserve. I literally feel like a new person . I’m so angry that women are needing to fight so hard for medication that can change their lives , that some gp’s are so under trained in this area and that they dismiss you and make you feel stupid. My advice to anyone is keep going and somehow find the strength to get what you deserve and to take back control of your life. I never want to feel as bad as I did ever again . I will keep educating myself, speak to friends and not treat the menopause like a dirty secret that you just have to live with . Women should never be denied basic hormones that our bodies need. I hope this helps to give some women the strength they need to keep going until they get the help and hormones that they desperately need”

“I started to experience intermittent hot flushes aged 49 whilst working as a Paramedic. Initially I purchased some herbal medicine from a chemist which seemed to help. Life went on for about two and a half years and then I started to have problems sleeping, restless legs, poor concentration, memory loss, brain fog, terrible hot flushes, low self esteem, lack of confidence - the list seemed endless. I spoke to my (female) GP. Her response when I mentioned the menopause was “well you’re about the right age” and she prescribed antidepressants.
After taking some time off sick from work, with stress, I took the very difficult decision to take early retirement. At 52 years of age. I was terrified my poor memory and brain fog would cause me to put a patient in serious jeopardy or worse. I was terrified to voice my symptoms to my managers or occupational health because I thought they would have no option but to sack me.
I had no idea my signs and symptoms were of the menopause and I was extremely vulnerable. I don’t think there will ever be a time when I don’t regret leaving the Ambulance Service. I wish there had been someone I could’ve turned to who understood what I was going through :((“

“There is not enough help and men need educating also so they can recognise the symptoms and help support their wives.. My relationship of 32 years broke down because of menopause, my family is now split and life as we knew it before is very different.”

“The United States health coverage for menopausal women is also deficient.”

“My Mum was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, my Dad Kidney cancer around the same time in 2002. In 2006 I moved away from my family, it was a positive decision.
My parents didn't want me to stay just because they were ill, I felt so guilty and took it out on my partner and often saw red!
In 2007 my mum lost her 5 year battle and I thought I was having panic attacks getting hot needing to escape severe mood swings. By this time I was 36 and I mentioned it to.my gp who sent me for a blood test.
I went to see the consultant at Derby Royal who then told me I'd gone through the menopause. Not peri which wasn't even mentioned. Gone through all the hot flushes, night sweats, mood swings all By myself by the age of 36!
I was asked if I wanted children as my partner had children and was older it wasn't pursued by the hospital.
I had everything explained given leaflets and had an appointment to reschedule to discuss hrt.
My dad however was convinced hrt caused mum's breast cancer.
So 2 years later after lots of hideous rows with my partner eventually gave in to hrt only because I suffer with a bad back to prevent osteoporosis
I then decided because I take naproxen daily to pre pay for prescriptions meaning the new bill has no impact on situation.
After changing my hrt we eventually moved on to evorel 50 patches.
11 years later still on hrt and have a merina coil too.
I was never offered counselling as you can imagine I still thought I could have a chance to have children and felt all my choices taken away by my body!
At 50 obviously I've accented this for years I had to tell oeople I was too old for kids or I have neices and a nephew.
It's not the same and feel all of.my choices were taken away and I needed to grieve the loss of what could have been.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.”

“I’m 53 & although i feel in a way I have no real concrete symptoms or so i thought, I started to feel very different during lockdown in 2020 & I put it all down to that, worrying about everything & really silly things, like the roof collapsing on me when i sleep, I’ve put on weight & feel constantly tired, my mind works overtime constantly & it’s draining, to look at me you wouldn’t think I was worrying as i keep it all hidden, apart from travelling in the passenger seat of a car, recently I had to take calming herbal remedy to help me relax, I have visions of crashing, don’t like roundabouts or going near big lorries, it sounds so silly I feel almost embarrassed by it, i genuinely put it down to the different life of lockdown but maybe it’s not, please everyone continue to speak about how you feel, you’ll find out you’re certainly not the only one.”

“I am in the US. Post menopausal. With insurance my inttrarosa is 85.00 a month. But men can buy prescription pills for ED for a few bucks.
Mature women lose their confidence and feel that part of their life is over while men can have sex with no issues. Why are men's sexual health more important than womens?
Sex is painful inside and out and difficult to enjoy.”

“I took HRT for 15 years and felt Great… Good skin, no mood swings, no hot flashes. HRT was a life changer and would take it again if I needed ii….. Very helpful to most women. PS I’m 77 years old”

“I believe the reason that the doctors are not prescribing HRT is because of the increased risk of cancer! At 30 years old I was diagnosed with PCOS and had a prolapsed uterus and so my doctor recommended a full hysterectomy! So I had a full hysterectomy and started HRT within four years of starting HRT I had full-blown stage 4 breast cancer! I had to have a double mastectomy and the biggest fight for my life and only 34 years old! Did I feel much better on HRT? Absolutely it changed my life and made it to where I could function better and think clearer and I wasn’t depressed and wanted to kill everybody… I’m truly happy for everybody that gets on HRT and has no major medical issues from it! I am her2neu positive And the estrogen that I was receiving from HRT was like pouring gas on the fire and it made my cancer spread very fast and it was aggressive. Thankfully I was very lucky and my tumor responded well to chemo. But I have never been able to have hormones again… I have since then had genetic testing done and I firmly believe that any woman should go through genetic testing before she is put on HRT to find out if she stands a chance of developing cancer. It would solve so many of the unknowns for women who need relief from menopause to know whether they could actually have it or not”

“For two whole years I begged my male GP for help. Passed from pillar to post. Offered anti depressants so many times. Finally spoke to an amazing female menopause specialist and prescribed estrogel and progesterone and my life has totally changed. My male GP kept saying that there was absolutely no way he would prescribe HRT as he didn't want me running back to him crying the I had developed breast cancer!! Two whole years I fought to be heard.”

“I was on HRT for 20 years. I never went through the menopause. I was hardly ever ill until I came of it. Never been well since.”

“I’m one of the lucky ones! I have a mother who is a trail blazer when it comes to menopause matters - AND YET …. Still the stigma of aging and feeling TOO YOUNG to be menopausal put me off asking my doctor for help. When I eventually did I was angry, exhausted, forgetful, not at all myself. My doctor was good and put me on oestrogen patches straight away. I saw benefits within three months, but they soon waned. My doctor did Al she could and upped my doses - but eventually she had given me all that she could under the NHS guidelines. So I had to scrimp and save and went private. I’m on testosterone now as well as the Mirena coil and Oestrogel. And I feel much much better. Like life is worth living again. I have two young children and they need a mum that’s the ere for them - not a raving angry loon who fall I’ll at the drop of a hat and loses her mind.
And now o look at my girlfriends clearly goi g through the same and they want to GO NATURAL - in the mean time their marriages are at risk, their health deteriorating swiftly …. They are going to cost the NHS reeks of money to help them towards the last 30-40 years of their lives! And they refuse to join the menopause club because their doctors tell them they’ve not reached menopause yet, or because the shortage means they won’t get their prescriptions, or because of the stigma!
It’s time that the UK started reprioritizing womens health!!!”

I went to my Dr for help (20 years ago)
I was struggling as I didn’t know what was happening to myself … only to be told you’re going through the menopause come back to the surgery when you feel you are trudging through mud backwards 💔

“This isn’t really ‘my story’ but I wanted to let someone know about my current t experiences in trying to source my usual Oestrogel pump. I had read in the media that there EPA’s a shortage and, despite not being that low on supplies, I decided to put in for an NHS prescription with my GP. Initially my local pharmacist informed me that stocks would be in by the end of the weeks, then I was told they were out of stock and that all the alternatives were also out of stock. I have managed to source some Sandrena sachets through an online private pharmacist (I just ticked no to everything on the health questionnaire to avoid delay) and my GP has prescribed me Evorel patches as an alternative.

However, I really don’t want to change my prescription in any way. I originally saw a private GP as I wanted time and a face to face appointment. I didn’t want to discuss my menopause symptoms over the phone with a young male locum in the car park at work. The money I paid to actually sit down and discuss all my concerns with an understanding female doctor was worth every penny. I was then able to get my prescription on the NHS. I feel women are really let down and that this should be provided on the NHS for any woman nearing the menopause.

Yesterday I jokingly asked a friend who lives in Luxembourg if he’d mind driving over the border to Belgium to break into the Besins laboratory and steal me some Oestrogel. Being a good friend he phoned his local pharmacy to see how their stock levels were. There are absolutely no shortages in Luxembourg or it seems anywhere else in the EU. The shortage only seems to be in the UK. Now we are told about ‘huge surges in demand’’ which rather places the blame on us annoying women being awkward and demanding life enhancing medications. It doesn’t mention the lacking of planning or foresight that should have foreseen this rise in demand.

Lastly I want to know where have all the Oestrogel supplies gone? Yes, there is more demand as more women realise that they can get help, but supply hasn’t stopped, it just isn’t meeting demand. So who is getting the supplies that are being delivered? One can only assume that they aren’t being given on NHS prescriptions but to those with the biggest cheque books.

My friend in the EU has confirmed that the pharmacy there would be more than happy to dispense my UK prescription, I just need to email it over. However, euphoria was short lived due to EU customs and HMRC telling him that they couldn’t guarantee they would let it through. Would love to hear how anyone else has got round this and why we can’t simply order desperately needed medication from overseas. It looks like I will have to go and visit my friend if I want to get my Oestrogel. It’s very tempting.”

“I am a 61 year old woman who has been using HRT for the past 8 years. Prior to starting treatment, the menopause symptoms I experienced were so debilitating that I was unable function at work or to drive safely.
I work part time, run a small internet-based business from home and care full time for my partner who suffered a debilitating stroke three years ago. When I first started work over forty years ago, the retirement age for women was sixty. I will not be eligible for a state pension until 2028, aged sixty-seven, and will need to support myself through work until then in spite of my caring responsibilities. We do not receive any state help or support.
I was unable to obtain HRT for nine months in 2019. My menopause symptoms returned with a vengeance leaving me struggling with work and domestic life and I was forced to take sick leave from work. I resorted to sourcing my usual medication from overseas, at great expense, via the internet.
As long as women are expected to remain economically active until their late sixties, HRT is not a 'Lifestyle Choice', it is a life saver.”

“My menopause story starts with my fertility story. I was diagnosed with bad endometriosis aged 31, and not long after my husband and I had started trying for our family. I was told I would need laser treatment to remove the endo, which I had to wait 6 months for, and in the meantime was given an injection to stop my periods. This injection would put me into a "false" menopausal state, with the aim of preventing the endo getting worse. Sadly however, this was the perfect storm for my body. The surgery, plus the drugs, and the fact I already had a lower ovarian reserve exacerbated the situation and I was thrown into an early menopause. Roll on ten years and I am now almost 40 with all the symptoms and signs we all know and love. I was living with hot flushes, night sweats and memory loss for over a year, yet to find a doctor who would believe that I was menopausal was very difficult. I finally managed to get the blood test I needed to confirm what I already knew, and I was right - I was fully menopausal. Yet early menopause affects 1% of the female population, you shouldn't have to battle this hard to be heard. When I finally had the evidence I needed, I tried to schedule a call with the female lead / menopause specialist at my GP surgery to talk through my options, only to be told "there wasn't one". This instead meant I had to make do with a five minute phone call with a male doctor at the practise who prescribed me the generic HRT combination that every other woman is offered. I took this prescription to the pharmacy, who gave me a bill for £48 (!!) and I started to take the HRT... which I immediately hated. My mood instantly dropped and I started to feel anxious, teary and low. I have now found out this is a sign that you don't have enough oestrogen, but by then it was too late - I'd ripped off the patch and stopped taking the pills, deciding it would be better in the long run to deal with the long term side effects of the menopause than depression. My experience is ongoing. I am sure that in time, I may face the path of HRT again, but to do so I have resided myself to the fact I will need to see a female menopause specialist, who will talk to me for longer than a routine 5 minute appointment over the phone. Who will listen to my problems, ask me about my past situation, and work out the correct HRT for my situation, because one size does not fit all women. However, to do this I will have to pay around £300 privately, because this has not been offered in any form to me by the NHS. I can afford this, but so many others in my same situation can't, so what do they do? It's just not good enough.”

“I was diagnosed with breast cancer twice in my 20’s. As part of my treatment, I am on medication that puts me into a chemically induced menopause, in attempt to reduce my risk of cancer returning.
Being thrown straight into a post menopausal state, skipping out the ‘peri’ part, has been very difficult. The symptoms have been incredibly intense and extreme.
HRT is not an option due to the nature of my cancer being highly Oestrogen driven (ER+).
When addressing the debilitating symptoms, it was dismissed as just being part of my cancer treatment. After several attempts at stressing how much I was struggling, I was offered some antidepressants to try and help alleviate the night sweats. But what about the rest of my symptoms?
It took a consultation with another Specialist to refer me to the Menopause clinic for support (which I’m still waiting for). Whilst there may be little they can do to help, being heard is a start. More support for those who are unable to have HRT is absolutely needed.”

“At the age of 47 I was diagnosed with an aortic aneurysm. I was put on beta-blockers while waiting for my operation, which helped mask my peri menopausal symptoms. In April 2017, I finally had open heart surgery which sent me into full blown menopause overnight. I developed migraine auras, became a walking zombie, couldn’t focus, look at screens or any bright lights. I spent a year thinking I’d had a stroke, wondering what was wrong with me, that I just didn’t feel right. I had brain scans, got the all clear. I thought it was the beta blockers and came off them over the next year, as I no longer needed them. That’s when things really got bad, I developed horrendous tinnitus, couldn’t sleep at all for 6 weeks, started hallucinating, could barely drive my son to school because of general overwhelming anxiety. My husband ended up taking time of work to help get me sorted. We went to the GP, my husband said I think it’s hormones and my wife needs HRT. Doctor said he didn’t think it was menopause as I’d been through it already, he prescribed amitriptyline and Valium (which I never took). After taking amitriptyline for a few weeks and finally getting a bit of sleep I went to see a female GP who agreed to let me try a low dose of HRT, within 2 weeks I started to feel a bit better. I stayed on the pill form of HRT for another 2 years knowing that I’d been told it was only a short term dose because of heart issues and was worried the GP would suddenly say I needed to come off. Luckily for me, I started to read up about the menopause and found a private clinic. I got on their waiting list for a doctors appointment and got seen about a year ago now. Was able to get Sandrena gel and utrogestan as my oestrogen levels were still rock bottom. I then had a series of blood tests through my GP surgery which confirmed my oestrogen levels were still low and that my testosterone levels were non existent- I am now on a high dose of oestrogen and testosterone and obviously progesterone. The testosterone has really helped my memory and brain fog and saved our marriage. I still have up and down days and the tinnitus varies on a daily basis. My anxiety is a lot better and so are my migraines, thank goodness… I think my medical issues confused things, but I’m amazed none of the GPs thought it could have been the menopause causing most of my physical symptoms, even the heart palpitations I was having. So far so good, it’s an ongoing journey… I never intend to come off HRT, it has literally saved me.”

“I went to my GP as I was experiencing night sweats, weight gain, low libido and was feeling very sad with very little joy. He said he would do a blood test, and when the results came back ‘ok’ he said that there was nothing he could do for me.
I was frustrated and dismayed.
A colleague at work told me about her GP who is a menopause specialist and I looked her up online and found that she ran a private womens health clinic. I paid £250 and made an appointment. The Dr I spoke to was amazing and I am now on HRT. The Dr also wrote to my GP to recommend that he prescribes me the HRT, which he is doing but only one month at a time.
I am now having a reaction to the patches I was prescribed and have gone back to my surgery to see if I can change it, the doctor that called me was not very satisfactory and I honestly felt like I knew more than they did.
I have always been an advocate for the NHS and the great work that they do, but honestly feel that I and too many others have been let down.”

“Hi, I am 54 years old. I started having issues with palpitations, low iron, heavy, long and irregular bleeding, low mood, anxiety and other symptoms, backwards and forwards to the GP. I was told I was depressed and to take antidepressants (which I didn’t) a few years later my periods stopped when I was 44, again went to GP who said I was menopausal and as my symptoms weren’t too bad not to take HRT. 2 years ago I fell taking the bins out and fractured my back, I had a DEXA scan and found out I had osteoporosis which I am now on regular medication for. I am still waiting for a referral to the menopause clinic as I am being told different things by my GP, one says take HRT and then another says don’t take HRT due to increased risk for breast cancer and stroke. I am suffering with palpitations, low mood, anxiety, tinnitus, low libido (marriage issues) thinning hair, aching joints, no energy, tired along with many other symptoms.”

“Ignored and refused and told by my GP, that it will just mask symptoms and once HRT stopped the symptoms would come back, which after my own research I knew that wasn’t true.
I felt so low even though I was on a high dose of anti depressants, and my days were getting darker.
15 months ago I attempted suicide.
I believe if I hadn’t been refused the 12 months before that, that this wouldn’t have happened.
I’m still on the road to recovery but now with HRT through a private clinic, I feel that life could still well be worth living.”

“I've seen 5 different doctors in 3 countries from 8 years ago, some told me to put up and shut up, it's a natural process that doesn't need medicating. One doctor offered me gastric surgery to lose the 7 stone I've put on. Others have given me anti-depressants to deal with that side effect which just made me feel like a zombie, but the best is a UK doctor who has diagnosed me with Lupus, dismissing my menopause symptoms as "a random list of non specific symptoms". I asked if he was really confident it was more likely to be lupus than menopause, and he said as he knew nothing about menopause, he's going to go with lupus. So I have an appointment with a specialist which I feel is a waste of time, and I'm so close to giving in and going private. I feel I've lost myself. I'm anxious, nervous, lethargic, tired all the time, I've had 2 years of interrupted sleep, I've had the hot flushes, I'm losing hair, I've 250+ days with no period, I can't lose weight . I'm fed up, tearing my hair out (a bad idea in the circumstances) and more than anything else, I'm totally disheartened at the service we get in an NHS that has been described as the envy of the world. Medical training and doctors really have to do better for 50% of the population. It's totally unacceptable.”

“I am 68 and I am still experiencing night sweats. I have been on HRT for years (patches/ tablets/ gel) but they do not help very much. My GP (a woman) is sympathetic but powerless. Where can I turn?”

“I had symptoms of anxiety, stress weight loss, continuous hot flushes (around 4 an hour), night sweats, irregular and heavy bleeds with no warning, tiredness, bloating, brain fog, exacerbated asthma symptoms, lack of motivation/concentration, nervousness, hair loss & irritability. All symptoms gradually reduced after starting HRT and increasing the dose. I am completely reliant on HRT.

I requested a referral to a menopause specialist.
A male GP contacted me and asked me why I wanted to be referred, I explained that I wanted to have a point of contact if symptoms returned.
The Doctor said that he couldn't refer me just for a relationship with the specialist and that there'd have to be a need to refer. He said that HRT can only be prescribed via the GP practice so no need.
I said I'd be happy to do as he said and speak to a GP when needed, but I was previously told there were no menopause specialists at the surgery. I had previously advised the surgery that the menopause charity were providing free training to GPs and I was told that it was down to the individual GPs to decide.
The Doctor said that they can't all be experts at everything and they don't have a cardiologist on site and he didn't want to get into a political discussion, I said this wasn't political and that women are being fobbed off and not given the service they should have when it comes to the menopause. He replied by saying that there are two perspectives to this and men suffer too with a lack of hormones, but there is no service for them at all.
After making a complaint following that phone call I managed to get someone to agree to the referral, but the specialist said they couldn't accept me as I didn't meet the criteria.”

“I am 60 years old. I started with night sweats, mood swings and flushes when I was 40 years old (early menopause runs in the family). My periods became very heavy and irregular but I was told I was depressed and anaemic, and it could not be anything related to peri menopause. I muddled through for ten years and had a full hysterectomy in my early 50's. Six months after the operation I suddenly bottomed out - I found it hard to speak as my voice box felt like shrunken sandpaper (my larynx was rapidly atrophying)- this was an issue as I had to do a lot of teaching/lecturing. My joints started to really hurt, and my jaw became 'loose' to the point I could not close my mouth properly. I had constant migraines, sleeplessness, cold sweats day and night, and constant crushing fatigue . Work became harder and harder but I had no choice but to keep going. My brain became seriously fogged and I could not concentrate on anything, my muscles atrophied quickly despite the fact I kept going with stretching and proportional exercising (I am a former athlete). My muscles started to tear easily, and I started suffering from regular joint subluxation.. every few months I would get a partial dislocation of a shoulder or hip. Then the heart palpitations and arrhythmia started, the cold sweats intensified around the clock, and panic attacks (with no trigger) started - I had never experienced anything like it before - I am not a panic type. Basically I could no longer function and had lost my job because of that. These symptoms didn't seem to match anything to do with menopause and my (male) GP just assumed I was nuts. A friend who was a doctor, who had not seen me in a while visited and was horrified at the state I was in - last time she had seen me I was fit, strong, and just struggling a bit with the old hormone thing. She suggested that my ovaries had stopped working completely after the hysterectomy, which can sometimes happen, and that the 'longer term back up' as she put it, did not happen (where other parts of the endocrine system continue to release small amounts of the hormone cocktail to keep you going) - she outlined how dangerous this situation potentially could be for me, particularly for my heart and brain. She sent me to my GP for tests and yes, she was right. At 55yrs old I looked and felt like I was in my late 70's. I was started on Tibolone, an older HRT that has a low level cocktail of synthetic hormones, which is only suitable if you have no uterus and is often used if the ovaries are also removed. I have been on it for five years and the difference is like night and day. I can now work a full schedule - I am still lower in energy than most women my age, but I can function well enough. All the symptoms went right down, and some vanished. I still get the odd flush or cold sweat, but it is not 24/7 and is not debilitating - I just feel like I am ageing and going through a light menopause. For me, this HRT is like insulin for diabetics - without it my body and mind crashes and I quickly get very sick. I back off it for a month each year to see how I am doing, and by the third week it is a disaster, so I stay on it.
Since the UK retirement age has been jumped up for me to 68yrs old, it is no wonder to me that huge amounts of women are now going on to HRT - if this society wants women of that age to be in the workforce, they have to be medically supported. Only a proportion of women can sail through menopause with 'inconveniences' - for many it is very difficult, and for some like me it it outright disabling. 30 years ago we would be at home, retired and just trying to make it through each day in the best way possible. But now? 50 hours a week of work are expected of many of us. To do that we need medical support. It is also cheaper in the long run from an NHS perspective - with proper hormone support, there are less injuries, less disability, and less need for piles of different medications. I seriously do not understand why, in the 21st century, this even needs discussing, is the UK seriously that ignorant?”

“I went to my GP at the age of 42 as I was having terrible periods and random bleeding. He did some blood tests, and gave me the good news that I did not have cancer ( I wasn’t aware this was possible as he’d not said) but it was the ‘storm before the calm’ and sent me on my way. I sat in the car park and cried.
A house move and change in GP practice and I was at the GP because I thought I was depressed after the death of my Dad. By now I was 45. I saw a GP registrar who says she didn’t think I was depressed and I was experiencing symptoms of peri menopause. Thank god for her and her absolute kindness. I left armed with information on HRT because I thought it’d give me breast cancer if I took it. The information she gave me changed my mind and I was was prescribed HRT. Made an immediate difference and I felt like me again.
I’m 48 now and lots of my symptoms have returned. I’ve been back to the GP practice and I think I’m blessed because the GP I spoke to was well informed and gave me options. He referred my for the coil with a view to combine that with HRT, but I’m on sequi patches now. As Still not right yet, but I’m being supported at work so I’m coping.
I feel sure I’ll get the balance right again but I do think if I’d still been with the first GP still I’d be in a real mess right now.”

“I have had to beg my GP for menopause treatment, despite a number of crippling symptoms which have affected my mental health, my marriage and all my relationships, and my working life. Even when I have managed to persuade a GP to continue prescribing, I feel I have had to crawl and grovel to get my prescription renewed, with many comments such as 'we'll have to see if we can wean you off this stuff'. With my treatment, I can lead a full, happy, healthy and productive life, but without it I feel as if I am struggling to go on, and I've sometimes had very dark thoughts about whether it's worth trying to carry on. I eventually consulted a brilliant women's service that I found online (private and expensive) as I was feeling completely desperate, and am now signed up with a private GP (expensive) but at least I can get regular prescriptions without being put through a lengthy interrogation every time I want to renew. For the first time I felt someone cared and that I was in sympathetic and knowledgeable hands. Now the problem is that I can't get the medication which has been prescribed!! I feel sweaty and scared every time I try to get a prescription filled, will they or won't they have Oestrogel in the pharmacy? I've been told that my prescription for Oestrogel and Utrogestan is the 'Rolls Royce' of HRT treatment. I feel that if it was men who were having these difficulties, something would have been done about it long ago. I've been made to feel like a fraud and a neurotic, complaining woman for trying to lead a healthy life free of the most terrible symptoms, and I would have given up long ago but I just wasn't willing not to fight on. GPs were quite happy to prescribe me anti-depressants and sleeping tablets but not menopause treatment!! Thanks to Penny (and Rod for being such a caring husband) in putting this petition together. If women unite and make a big enough noise someone, somewhere may eventually be willing to listen. After all, we all have a vote and can use it to good effect. There is absolutely no reason why we should be written off at menopause because we are made to feel guilty about getting treatment and making the best use of the next phase of our lives. It is discriminatory and misogynistic. I don't want my daughters to have to go through the fear and anxiety and illness that I've gone through to get treatment when their time comes, if that's what they choose for themselves. I'll always remember the cruel female GP who snapped at me, 'I can't think why someone your age would want a coil', when another GP had recommended that I investigate as a way of obtaining the progesterone I needed as part of my treatment. I felt utterly humiliated and despairing, and I don't want other women to feel the same.”

“I started my journey into peri-menopause at the age of 47. I always feels a slump in my mood after Christmas, but as the year went on my mood just did not lift. I would describe it as a complete lack of joy in my life. I had no interest in anyone of anything and felt flat all the time. Then the brain fog descended. It felt like somebody had wrapped my brain in cotton wool. I could not think clearly, simple word retrieval was beyond me. I lost all my confidence in the work place, suffered bouts of vertigo and found myself crying uncontrollably over nothing. It was extremely debilitating.

So I approached my local GP. Where I was offered antidepressants. Nobody even mentioned the possibility of peri-menopause. 'I'm not depressed!' I insisted to my GP and refused the medication. I then took to the internet and began to search for what could possibly be wrong with me and came across the term peri-menopause. I had never heard of this before, only the menopause. I checked through the long list of symptoms and had enough of them to convince me that this was now happening to me.

On returning to the doctors my bloods were taken and I was told that I was not menopausal and again refused HRT. I suffered without support for another couple of months and then came across the amazing website 'Menopausal Not Mad' run by Jane Pangbourne. Finally, I had some solid answers and advice. Armed with information from this website I went back to the GP with a list of symptoms and refused to leave until they had prescribed HRT. The male GP even said to me ' Why would you want that when the side effects of anti-depressants are so much better?'

I then became an unofficial champion at my work. Discussing my journey, HRT choices and symptoms in the staff room. Now many of my colleagues approach me for advice and I always direct them to relevant websites to get the information it took me so long to acquire. I would never want another woman to suffer unnecessarily like I did.”

“Week before 50th birthday I had a seizure while out walking. Tests shown not epilepsy. I went to GP crying, I was a nervous wreck. I struggled to leave the house. Crippling anxiety which I'd never had. He didn't ask any other questions, put me straight on 5mg of anti depressants. Within 4 days of talking I wanted to kill myself. Voices telling me to jump out the window. I felt family would be better without me. Called GP again after 2 weeks of hell. It was a female. Straight away she asked questions about menopause symptoms. I hadn't had the usual night sweats or flashes. All my symptoms were mind related, mixing, forgetting words, anxiety, etc. She said I'd reacted badly to anti depressants as my body didn't need them. Straight away I went on HRT patches. Within 1 month I turned a corner and am on my way to being me. Although now there is these shortages it's a worry.”

“Started taking HRT in 2020 after 2 years of chronic insomnia, restless leg and body agitation, night panic, anxiety, waves of suicidal depression, I began to see danger and threat everywhere and became unable to even swim in the sea, etc. etc. I thought I was just burning out. Eventually came the hot sweats and I was prescribed HRT by a male GP who made his clinical decision thus, 'It seems to help my wife so I'll prescribe it'. Brilliant. All symptoms were under control within weeks. Also brilliant.

This year I have found it very difficult and now impossible to get HRT in Warwickshire. I have travelled from town to town in search of it. I've more than once had to lose my temper with dismissive and scoffing male and female chemists who seem to think it's a fun drug for the vain and subject myself to public humiliation in doing so. I eventually got some because until recently I worked for the NHS and know how the system works, but if I hadn't I would be struggling to function day to day.”

“Thankful to be alive because of hrt and a very helpful/caring/menopause group 😊
I suffered mostly post menopause, I knew nothing much about menopause or how it would effect me, particularly post menopause in my case. Within the space of 2 years, I’d gone from being extremely happy and physically fit-ish . Then came the horrendous crippling joint/muscle pain. I paid to see a chiropractor, but that never helped, I would take pain killers daily, but that never totally took away the pain and as a result of taking too many tablets, I damaged my stomach lining. I’ve had mri’s, ct’s, ultrasounds, endoscopy, colonoscopy, everything was happening so quick, I literally thought I was going to die. I started with terrible anxiety, health anxiety was giving me constant palpitations and I would often have panic attacks. The flushes were getting worse, so bad that the bed sheets were wet through every night. The brain fog was particularly scary, I thought I was loosing my mind/sanity. I started with tinnitus, a tortuous constant high pitched ringing sound in one ear and a whooshing sound in the other ear, it made me feel sick and dizzy and I thought I was going crazy. Sinusitis was off the scale. Constant migraines, fatigue and nausea. My hair was staring to fall out. Worsening of gut issues, weight gain, gum problems and even started to loose some teeth, my dentist also told me I had tmjd. Everything was hitting me all at once. I was trying to be strong for the sake of my family, but I felt like I was burden to everyone, I wasn’t and all my family were very loving, caring and supportive. My mind would think differently though and I was soon having dark thoughts. I couldn’t live with all the pain and feeling like I was useless and no good to anyone. I hated how I looked, the daily pain was unbearable, some days I couldn’t even walk and would spend hours in bed with my torturing body and thoughts. That was it as much as I tried to fight the dark thoughts, they just got worse. I was going to end it all . I had planned my own funeral, even put money aside for my funeral flowers. Took out my note book and was going to write letters to my husband and family , but when it came to my children I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do that to them or anyone, I broke down, had an emergency phone appointment with GP, broke down with my GP over the phone again. I did eventually see my GP - she was amazing. Because of all my widespread pain, she suspected I had Fibromyalgia, and would refer me to see a rheumatologist, she also knew I was suffering with menopause and mentioned hrt and all the benefits. I was nervous as I hadn’t researched the latest information and only heard about all the out of date nonsense, so my anxiety was going through the roof, but my GP kept assuring me and listed all the many benefits it was then I knew I needed to try the hrt, I’d tried everything else I could think of and nothing worked. So I started the hrt and saw the rheumatologist. The rheumatologist confirmed I had Fibromyalgia, (secondary fibromyalgia) as he also said I have joint Hypermobility syndrome and osteoarthritis. My rheumatologist also said that hrt would be good 😊
Since I’ve been on hrt, ive researched menopause/ hrt, bought books, and had amazing safe advice/support from a menopause group. My fibromyalgia symptoms have gone, so I do wonder if I was misdiagnosed with that. I no longer take daily painkillers, my joint/muscle pain is so much better and I’m not in daily crippling pain. The fatigue has gone and I’m now able to do light muscle strengthening exercises, my tinnitus has even reduced greatly in sound. My gut issues and reflux are better, my gums are better and I don’t notice any more pain with tmjd. My migraines are lots better, haven’t had a migraine in 2 months, I used to get them weekly. I no longer feel daily fatigue, nauseous and dizziness. My flushes have gone, my anxiety has gone also the palpitations. Even my sinuses are better. I feel so much better physically and mentally. Would I be writting this today without using hrt, i very much doubt it. Thankfully I am and want to live life to full, I owe it to myself, my children/grandchildren, husband, mum, all my family and friends 🥰”

“I have struggled on and off since my late thirties until now. I am still suffering and feel about 90 not 49. It’s not only the physical symptoms the low mood reaching rock bottom and feeling stuck there. I went to the Gp at 39 and was fobbed off when I was 40 I was told if it quacked like a duck it must be a duck. Employers are bothered and it’s only if you’re lucky you have a partner who wants or even cares to understand. It impacts every element of your life and feels like it’s never going to end. Positives are going private and eventually getting some understanding and prescribed a high enough dose. It’s costing me hundreds to try and help my sanity. The GP then told me that as my dose wasn’t within the levels the nhs would provide I would need to continue to go private and couldn’t have nhs prescriptions. I wish I could be more positive but it feels like your life is imploding with you watching.”

“I am peri menopausal with mood swings, change in digestion, palpitations, low energy etc. I’ve seen 2 GPs; one said initially I couldn’t have HRT as my mum had had breast cancer. She showed me a medical book to try to prove this - but turned out the stats she wanted to show me weren’t there. She reluctantly gave me a prescription for patches saying ‘ you won’t get these anywhere’. She was right, a year later and I haven’t been able to get them so I asked to see another GP who gave me a different prescription for gel and progesterone tablets. Again I can’t get them as out of stock and can’t order them. A friend, who is ahead of me in the hrt journey told me the tablets I’ve been prescribed are made from mare’s urine not the modern HRT. I need to go back to the GP again to try to get a different prescription- all takes time off work, and I don’t feel the doctors are knowledgeable about what can be offered or what is available. I don’t feel safe in their hands.
I have changed my job in the last year due to lack of confidence. I am 48, exercise every day, am not overweight, don’t smoke, hardly drink, and want to protect myself from future osteoporosis, dementia, heart problems etc. It’s such a battle. I get all my info from knowledgeable friends and the internet. It’s just not good enough.”

“Following surgery to remove an ovary ten years ago and sent home with no information apart from, to rest! What followed was years of suffering as my hormones hit a brick wall like a wrecking ball! Initially given antidepressants and the mini pill. To researching my symptoms and realising I was perimenopausal. My GP knew nothing about HRT but said I could try a combination tablet. This was disastrous giving me horrendous anxiety and depression, I felt lost. I had no lust for life and turned to the internet - I researched patches and my HRT journey really began. I started a support group on Facebook which incredibly has over 9.4K members and is growing daily (MHDG) . Ten years on, shortages three years ago, having to change HRT again, having to endure a hysteroscopy and biopsy, I now have my HRT right ! But … shortages again and I’m praying I have enough patches and gel to keep me going. I feel I have me back, with patches, gel, testosterone and Fluoxetine. I’ve not had to take time off work in over two years. We as women deserve better and this is why I’ve signed the Mandate. Change is well and truly overdue 👊🙌”

“Peri symptoms started in my early 40’s but were masked by my contraceptive pill. When I came off the pill at 43 I suffered horrendous symptoms, night sweats, hot flushes, painful wrists, restless legs, insomnia, sensitive teeth, weight gain, dry skin & hair & my eye lashes fell out. I didn’t know what was happening to me & felt very alone. I started researching the affects of lack of oestrogen & then discovered what the Peri menopause is & so I continued researching this. I couldn’t believe it, I’m too young surely & then realised with my research that it’s quite normal around my age & understood that coming off the pill (which gave me oestrogen) was a double whammy of awful peri symptoms.

My peri symptoms did ease with lifestyle changes & doing / taking everything recommended. I keep a spreadsheet & log everything & monitor my moods. I was surviving for about 18 months until one day I just felt I couldn’t go on anymore, what was the point? I realised that I was just existing, not living. I felt numb, felt nothing & didn’t look forward to anything. My confidence was completely gone! I checked my log & could see how my mood had gone downhill over a period of time. I knew it was my hormones as it felt different to being depressed. I told my Doctor, she was fantastic but I did go armed with information (from all my research). I knew I needed HRT to balance my fluctuating hormones.

I’ve been on HRT since September 2021. I feel that it’s saved my life, I am back to living again, feel great in myself & the weight is coming off at last as the HRT is working great along with my lifestyle changes. I’m back to me again (my husband is pleased - bless him)! The oestrogen shortage is terrifying me. I need more at the end of June & praying that the shortage is over by then. I can’t go back to where I was last year - I never want to feel like that again. Nor do I want to be at risk of heart disease, dementia & osteoporosis. It breaks my heart hearing & knowing women that can’t get hold of their oestrogen as I know how I will feel if it’s not sorted.

I love how we’re all talking about Menopause now & everyone that is fighting & making the world aware of it. You are amazing & thank goodness for you! I’m certainly out there promoting HRT & supporting women that I speak to about Peri & knowing that it will help the next generation of fabulous women with their journey x”

“I’m 60 years old, had hysterectomy 6 years ago due to prolapse of uterus, bladder and bowel. I was already going through menapause at this time. After the hysterectomy the menapause became much much worse. Sweats to the point I even googled to see if it was possible to combust because I get so hot from the inside. I was prescribed hrt for 3 years that helped immensely but after this time I had to have a medication review and was told I should have gone through the change now and couldn't have any more. I'm not on any other medication and rarely go to doctors but I was told they would couldn't prescribe any more. It's as bad as it ever was, hot sweats so that I'm dripping, anxiety, emotional, don't sleep well, itchy skin. This has gone on for 3 years since I stopped the hrt and it's not getting less frequent or less symptoms.”

“From age 45 it all started, heavy bleeding, anxiety, brain fog, 2 weeks I was "normal" 2 weeks " out of body experience " in pain all the time, being told by docs it's your age. Work wasn't supportive, was told to just get on with it (banking), in training I asked for more time to get my head round constant new protocol, all managers in there late 30's told them it will happen to them one day. Anyway eventually I was referred to gynaecology (47) told that a mirena coil would stop it all, Nope. 3 months later I got an infection when they looked for it, it was gone. The bleeding was like liver, sorry. They wouldn't give me a hysterectomy. Referred back to Gynea, I had 1 polyp, some cancerous cells, had a scrape. Doc said we can give you an injection each month going forward which will stop everything (48) WOW this was marvellous I was me again! Then 2016 (54) mammogram shows grade 4 breast cancer, 2 lumpectomys, radiotherapy & tamoxifen coz I'm still bleeding, all hrt injections stop as it was feeding off it coz my cancer was hormonal. 6 months later coz I was still bleeding I opted for ovaries removed instead of the continued periods. They still wouldn't do a hysterectomy. When they keyhole me, I was full of endometriosis which, he said, was why I was in so much pain for 2 wks every month! Undiagnosed, anyway due to this I was put on letrozol which removes any hormone production anywhere in my body thus throwing me into full blown Menopause, tbh it was much better than bleeding through your clothes, bed and chair at work. I had acupuncture in my ear lobes which stopped the flushes but the best thing was I was 55 and could retire from work so I could just deal with it all at home. Now I'm 60 cancer and Menopause free but I still feel off once a month don't know why but always end of a month that's when my period used to be. Now I am kind to myself if I want to cry, I cry. If I'm a bit off I sit and do nothing. And the funny thing is at work now all those managers are going through the same thing there is a Menopause policy 🙄

“I was 35 - I was having hot sweats on the hour every hour for 6 weeks. Doctor said I was too young. I went back to the doctor telling him I still had the same symptoms. He apologised and said a woman same age as me 35 came in and explained her symptoms. Anyway I had blood tests and was checked over and over, no oestrogen whatsoever. He gave me HRT - I took one tablet, it worked right away. So I was on them for 20 yrs. But told I had to come off them. Now on antidepressants.”

“Symptoms minimised. Offered antidepressants. Months of back & forth with various GPs before a locum GP listened and sorted me out. Initially refused access to some HRT products. Very poor service and HRT follow up, directed to nurse with very little training. Left stressful career due to impact of symptoms and lack of support. Isolation and despair.”

“I started getting symptoms about a month after my 48th birthday. It's been a roller coaster ride since. My symptoms came on quickly and it was such a surprise. Starting with palpations, pins & needles, tingling, tinnitus, rage, mood swings and aching to name but a few.

Luckily after about 6 weeks (after a blood test which i now know you don't need to confirm peri menopause due to my age) i started on hrt.
I've pretty much had all the symptoms you find listed apart from the hot flushes, night sweats and vaginal atrophy/issues.

It has taken 10 months, 5 squirts eostrogel daily to get back to 'normal'. However, my memory, brain fog/congnative issues have not improved.
I requested testosterone from my GP, i was referred to a specialist that can prescribe it as the GP can't. I waited 4 months for my appointment which was with a gynecologist (after my appointment, I checked if the gynaecologist was listed on BMS as a specialist.... neither of my local hospitals have a British menopause society specialist).

Gynaecologist changed my prescription from gel to combined estrogen/progesterone tablet as apparently you shouldn't need 5 squirts daily and my skin can't be absorbing it effectively. Unfortunately, I didn't come away with testosterone which i truly believe is what I'm lacking.

I will have a review in 3 months and if no improvement the gynaecologist will consider testosterone. The gynaecologist is also referring me to a neurologist and a phychotherapist!!!! At that point, I lost all faith... what a waste of resources. I understand that my skin may not be asorbing the gel effectively but it has worked on all my other symptoms apart from the brain issues so surely in addition to changing from gel to tablets, a 3 month trial of testosterone would have beenthe obvious route?

I am waiting for a GP appointment to request a referral to the nearest nhs british menopause society specialist which i have found on BMS website.

I reduced my hours at work within a couple of months of the symptoms starting and I can't see that i will be able to go back to normal hours until the memory issues have been resolved.

I have been fortunate in the speed I was prescribed hrt especially after my two older sister's (5 & 4 years older) had symptoms/suffering for years and were continuously told thet weren't perimenopausal; they were only prescribed hrt after me.

I have spoken to 4 GP's and only the 4th one i spoke to did not ask about hot flushes and night sweats, he understood the bigger picture. The other 3 GP's were only concerned about these symptoms which I have never had. Each time I increased my dose things did improve within a couple of weeks and remained good for 3 or 4 weeks before some symptoms resurfaced. Since i increased to 5 squirts things have been stable for several weeks (apart from memory issues).”

“I've contended serious illness throughout my life but menopause has affected me the worst.
I've lost my identity and see an anxious stranger when I look in the mirror.”

“I had a total hysterectomy at the age of 32 and was given HRT. 20 years later, having had no problems whatsoever, my then female GP sent for me to “discuss my HRT”. I expected to have my dose lowered, but no, she told me I was coming off it, I had been on it long enough and that was that. I could of course go back on it if I felt I couldn’t cope, but she recommended that I persevered. Two weeks later I was a wreck, I was snapping at my daughter, crying all the time and absolutely wringing wet each time I so much as moved slightly. I was determined not to go back and admit defeat, I couldn’t believe that a woman could make another woman feel like I did either. Friends recommended natural supplements, so I bought the ones they told me about and a couple of weeks later I was a different person! I’m now 62 and don’t take anything; no hot flushes or mood swings and I feel good. My only problem is itchy and dry labia, which I use Diprobase for..”

I had a baby later in life, thanks to IVF. I had a great pregnancy, felt amazing but what I didn't realise is that I would go straight into peri menopause after the birth. I thought I was feeling tired and a bit low, but it went on for ages. And what should have been a very happy time of life for me turned into a fog, where I just didn't feel any real joy. It took a while for the penny to drop despite GP visits and a consultation with a gynecologist. Neither mentioned my symptoms could be peri menopausal, I had terrible migraines and such heavy periods I couldn't really leave the house. I’m pleased to say after 2.5 years I finally got HRT ( having gone to a private menopause specialist ) I am beginning to feel like myself again.

“I didn’t realise I was going through the menopause till my partner looked online and read the symptoms and I cried because I seriously thought I had early on dementia and really believed this, I had blood tests to see if there was something the doctor was missing, my everyday life suffers so badly because of the menopause especially my job which I am surprised I haven’t been fired from because of my memory and lack of it also a rise in my anxiety too, I think these are the worst two symptoms for me, I haven’t gone on any medication as of yet and still considering this”

“I am 48 and for the last 3 years I have suffered. I have a management position and have always been known as being organised and efficient.

The brain fog started first. I couldn't remember the names of the people I worked with, would start to say something then would forget the end of the sentence. I couldn't manage my time and was struggling to do my job. The stress of this was making me feel ill as I have always prided myself on how good I was in my job.

My pmt was awful, sore breasts, spotty, and very tearful and iratable. I had two teenage boys at home and felt like I was being a rubbish mother and wife.

The lack of sleep happened next. Couldn't switch my brain off at night. Everything was whirling through my head. I would wake up exhausted and unable to function.

Then the hot flushes started. I invested in an motorised hand held fan and it went everywhere with me.

My doctor gave me hrt without hesitation, explained there was no need for me to suffer. She was a young, female locum and was fantastic. I started on patches and progesterone tablets as I still have a womb. The patches were increased slowly.

Then the patches topped sticking so I was moved to gel. This is much better.

At 48, the biggest symptom now is the aches and pains. I feel like an old woman. My periods are now either a clotty dollop or nothing. I have no sex drive at all but thankfully have a very understanding husband. I have put quite a bit of weight on around my middle and feel very old and frumpy. Dieting doesn't seem to be helping.

Now have long covid after a nasty bout of Covid and pneumonia so that mixed with menopause symptoms is a joy.”

“Asking for my 2nd prescription of oestrogel to find it was out of stock, pharmacy said they’d order but have no idea when it will be available. I explained I was worried not to have it due to the symptoms it had helped ease for the previous 3 months of using it, I asked for alternative to be told there aren’t any and that it’s no harm to not have it. I realise that there will be women whose stories are far worse than mine but to be told it won’t hurt me not to have it was belittling my symptoms making them sound unimportant when in fact they were quite debilitating. Trying to explain this to a pharmacist in an open shop was embarrassing and I was made to feel I had to justify my need for help”

“I suffered with symptoms for many years, before realising that I was peri menopausal. In fact I had not even heard of the peri menopause. In part because I was only in my late 30’s. I had terrible anxiety, aching in my joints, brain fog, lack of libido, dry skin, dry eyes, tiredness, poor concentration. I have been lucky that my GP has been supportive. I have been on HRT patches for 4 years now and my quality of life has improved immensely. I would hope that there is increased awareness of the perimenopause/menopause, so that women do not needlessly have to suffer in silence.”

“I have a skin condition for which I receive treatment. After my periods stopped I noticed that I was getting dryness, discomfort and itching in and around my vaginal area. A male GP attributed this to my skin condition but could offer no relief. On my next visit to the surgery a female GP suggested that my vaginal dryness may be due to the menopause and prescribed me Ovestin cream. Hallelujah! After 6 years of using Ovestin I had much less itching and soreness and sexual intercourse was no longer painful. During an annual check up last year my male GP suggested that I could now stop using Ovestin as I was post menopausal. A year on, despite my protests my GP has gone against my wishes and removed Ovestin from my regular prescriptions. I am currently in the process of contesting this with my medical practice.”

“In perimenopause I encountered brain fog, insomnia, heart palpitations, mood swings and horrific bleeding that went on continuously for months, almost landed me in hospital and left me so anaemic I couldn’t stand up without feeling dizzy. I could barely function at work or at home and was so exhausted I often slept from 6pm to 7am, but woke still exhausted. My GP didn’t even recognise I might be in peri-menopause even though I was 46! The medicine they tried to stop the bleeding didn’t work as it didn’t address the cause, only the symptom. I was told to stop drinking caffeine to stop heart palpitations, but other than that my other symptoms weren’t addressed. I had to wait a year for an NHS consultant to rule out cancer, but who then moved onto pressuring me to consider a hysterectomy without even mentioning HRT, and despite the fact I had no fibroids which might be causing the bleeding. A hormonal cause to my bleeding, let alone other symptoms , didn’t seem to cross their mind. I then did my own research online, realised lack of oestrogen probably explained everything and asked to see the consultant again, only to be told I would have to wait another year due to the pandemic. Fair enough, but by now my health was failing, and I felt alone. So I went private, thank god I could afford to, and saw another consultant, who again failed to mention HRT. When I asked for it, he spent 20 minutes trying to talk me out of it, basically scaring me that it would eventually give me cancer, I countered with more recent studies that he seemed unaware of that contradict this. Eventually as I was paying, he reluctantly agreed to let me try HRT. my GP then refused to prescribe it until after a further conversation and I think only did so when I broke down. Within one week of starting HRT ALL MY SYMPTOMS WERE GONE. it has saved my life, and I think my marriage., but unfortunately by now I’d resigned from my job as I couldn’t cope. I don’t know why doctors are so ignorant, but once women approach 50 we seem not to matter. All I know is I was the only person who helped me, the doctors involved tried to block me and had nothing else to offer. They seemed not only not to care but to think I was making a fuss and just put up with “the change”. I also have to say female nurses, doctors etc were equally unhelpful at times, and my older female relatives have enraged me since by admitting they suffered horribly in secret too. I now make a point of telling every younger woman my story, as we clearly need to help each other, and employers, especially male ones need to understand what this is and how it can be fixed, even if it is embarrassing, so that other women don’t lose their careers too. I’m fine now, but i am writing this as I know my GP will try to take HRT away as soon as they can. It’s a disgrace there are not enough supplies, it should be free and readily available.”

“I am convinced that I became peri-menopausal at around 42yrs. I googled a collection of symptoms and was shocked when peri-menopause was suggested. I read up on this and eventually went to my GP. Over the following 10yrs I saw both male and female doctors and had various blood tests - I was told that I was not peri-menopausal despite my symptoms. Finally, at the end of 2020 when my period was absent for several months and I was suffering hot flushes with sweat visibly running down my face whilst in meetings, I decided enough was enough. I was fortunate to speak with a female nurse who agreed that my symptoms suggested menopause and I was connected with a female GP who is very pro HRT. Having researched via the Menopause Dr website, I knew what medication I wanted and after a bit of pushing and shoving, my GP prescribed them for me. She was very supportive. Eventually I found the right dose for me but I wanted to try testosterone - my GP said that she 'was not comfortable having the conversation with me about testosterone' because it's not available on the nhs for women. It is available on the nhs for men - surely that is sexual discrimination on the part of the NHS - which is against the law! I found a private female GP who runs an on-line menopause practice and had a consultation. Following blood tests to check out my testosterone levels, which were very, very low, I have been taking testosterone for nearly a year with ongoing blood tests to monitor my levels. I have paid somewhere close to £1000 in terms of private consultations, private blood tests, prescription charges and medication charges - just for the testosterone. On top of that I pay a prescription charge every two months for two separate HRT medications and because my surgery has not ammended my doseage, I only get a small amout at a time, meaning that I need to request and then pay for more prescriptions. I feel extremely grateful to have a supportive GP and to be in a position that enables me to pay for the additional HRT. However, I should not have to do this. A man would not have to pay £1000 for 1 yr's worth of the equivalent testosterone medication. Many of our key workers are women and their salaries do not support them in being able to buy this essential medication. During the last 10 yrs, I reached a point in my career where I held senior posts in large organisations but I found it really difficult to stay on top of my game. I have also spend 4 years caring for and managing my parents are they moved through their final illnesses and died - including hands on personal care for both, giving up my work and dealing with my own emotions associated with losing one's parents. That's a fair amount of stress, that would not have been helped by my shifting hormones. I often wonder how much more effective I might have been - as an employee, as a carer, as a daughter, as a wife, as a person - if only I had been supported earlier. We need to end this misogyny in our health service once and for all!”

“I've been suffering physically, mentally and emotionally for the past two year's. Hormonal surges, extremely low mood, no interest in anything, anger, sadness, brain fog, no joy in life and withdrawing from everything. Finally couldn't take anymore and went to the doctors, first doctor listened to me and said HRT could help and arranged blood test. This showed I was well into the menopause but had to have another blood test to confirm it so I had another one. This is where it all went wrong, I couldn't get a appointment with the doctor I originally spoke to so I spoke to a different one, she confirmed that my second blood test matched the first but I was probably coming out the other side so wouldn't prescribe HRT and suggested I take herbal tablets. So no HRT for me and still struggling.”

“I have had perimenopausal symptoms for a few years, I was fobbed off by the doctor several times, yet I was over the age of 45 and presenting with low mood( after ovulation) low libido, worsening allergy symptoms/asthma symptoms and joint ache. Was eventually offered anti depressants. Which was reluctant to take, so asked for referral to menopause specialist. Am now on Hrt but feel would benefit from testosterone as still have issues. But am reluctant as it's such a fight. Just to even be seen. We should not have to suffer like this. I've never had depression my whole life. But yet I was immediately determined to be depressed!”

“Attempted suicide was the answer to my constant 10 year battle with my GP. I battled with this incompetent GP who constantly contradicted all my research to how a I felt and the only answer was to pump me with Antidepressants. When I told him I wanted to end my life as I couldn't cope with my constant chronic anxiousness he gave me a leaflet and told me to contact Mind. Suffice to say my attempt at ending my life failed (antidepressant overdose). I then came across on Facebook the Menopause Support group where I found there actually existed a Menopause clinic in Birmingham. I went back to my GP and insisted on being referred and she reluctantly referred me. I had a phone conversation with a consultant and she immediately changed gave me the correct HRT.. Utrogeston tablets and a high strength Evoril patch, within weeks my life changed I felt so much better. My life was in the hands of an incompetent GP he nearly took my life away from me I will never forgive him. Please someone stop these ignorant GPs insist on them stopping giving women Antidepressants and let women know about Menopause Clinics.”

“I went to see my GP 3 years ago struggling with symptoms I couldn't really understand. I had brain fog hot flushes etc. My GP told me I was depressed despite me reassuring him I strongly wasn't. He insisted on referring me to see a psychiatric nurse which I did to shut him up. The psychiatric nurse was the one who said do you think you could be perimenopausal and asked why on earth My GP had sent me to her when I clearly was far from depressed. It took a fight and change of GP practices to get my HRT despite the fact I was 50. He kept saying I was too young for the menopause. Since then I have had to fight on and on because my HRT doesn't work any more. I was told i would be referred to a gynaecologist 18 months ago but this never happened. I am now too tired and down trodden to keep on fighting with the GP for a referral and just accept my lot as it is...now anxiety ridden, osteopenic and ill due to the menopause and lack of fully working HRT.”

“I have just started HRT (at the age of 47) having had peri menopause symptoms for around 5 years. This recently came to a head with anxiety, lost confidence and really low mood to the point where I’ve been signed off work with stress. My first doctor prescribed antidepressants via phone consultation - I mentioned my age and asked could it be menopausal, he said yes possibly and sent me for a blood test. I was off the anti depressants within 3days due to severe side effects and this time spoke to a female doctor who suggested HRT would be a more appropriate course of action. She also told me the hormone blood test was unreliable at my age and symptoms were a more accurate indication. I’m now happily on HRT with no side affects so far - the only problem has been availability of the Oestrogen gels! My very first prescription was for Oestrogel which the pharmacy didn’t have, so the doctor switched to Sandrena gel…they could only fulfil part of the prescription and had to order the rest, which also then turned out to be unavailable! Luckily by this time Oestrogel was back in stock (although of course that required ANOTHER new prescription!). At least I live in Wales where prescriptions are currently free. It’s awful that we have to run the gauntlet of so many obstacles in terms of diagnosis and obtaining the necessary medication. The government needs to address this problem urgently!”

“After a hysterectomy at 32 (2003) due to endometriosis & an adverse reaction to HRT initially I was advised to try without HRT for a while, which worked for a few years. Unfortunately, it was never re-prescribed despite GP visits due to what are now seemingly obvious symptoms such as brain fog, palpitations, anxiety, low mood, extreme exhaustion and so much more. Even bouts of being house/sofa bound and becoming so poorly over many years I was eventually diagnosed with ME in 2016 and had to give up a good job in the council. So much damage has been done to my life, I’m not sure I will ever recover. On HRT now since Feb 2022 but only because I started work as a secretary to a gynae consultant who picked up on this due to my health struggles in that post. Feeling better since being on the HRT but the damage to career, life, relationships, finances, confidence, mental health is irreparable. Still struggling to work but cannot afford not to; now 52 too tired to function, mid divorce with my mental health in tatters.”

“I’m 44 and went into early menopause.
Doctors gave me a HRT
No other options
I left my job
Getting out of bed was almost impossible
Doctors refused to listen
And referred me to mental health services
Made me feel guilty, ashamed,
Still trying to source help myself.

Would love to go back to doctors with options.”

“At age 43, I experienced a sudden urgent need to wee very often and I felt strange in between like my bladder wasn’t emptied. Went to GP I didn’t have a urine infection, had a pelvic scan and nothing showed. Sent for a cystoscopy all was clear. Was given Tolterodine for overactive bladder. This helped and later changed to mirabegron with less side effects. At the same time my periods were getting heavy and I was anxious about all of it. GP said no way not menopause you’re too young. Was sent to Gynecology to have a colposcopy. He suggested a mirena coil but I wasn’t keen. At 48 I had my last period. I asked for HRT but was refused until a year after to be in menopause. 2020 and at 49 with hot flushes and broken sleep and only Econsult! I requested HRT again and eventually got it. First two prescriptions were no good (side effects) but finally got Oestrogel and progesterone.
Had hysteroscopy and a breast cyst last year.
Even writing this I’m amazed at how many procedures I’ve had and am so grateful for.
I do wonder if I had got hormone help 8 years ago as was clearly peri menopausal I may have avoided some of it.”

“Thank you for all the work you are doing on behalf of the menopaused.
I am not doing too badly with mine - no flushes or brain fog or anxiety - but my periods have gone mad. Heavy, painful, lengthy, unpredictable: they adversely affect my work, sleep and social life. They've put me in hospital a number of times for emergency blood transfusions and iron infusions to treat blood-loss anemia so bad that I can't walk up a flight of stairs.

My GP recommends a Mirena coil to try and control them. Coils are available through sexual health clinics, which are funded to provide contraception, not other gynecological health services. My GP sheepishly advises me to lie about my contraceptive needs so I can get a coil fitted.

I'm 51. I don't have any children, and I've been single most of my adult life. Not one of those situations is emotionally uncomplicated. Can you imagine the humiliation of filling in the coil application form, inventing details of fertility issues and a sex life that doesn't exist in order to access treatment?

The GPs I know who are trying to work within this system are embarrassed by the advice they have to give women who are enduring similar conditions. Any light you are able to shine on this practice, or pressure you are able to bring to those in charge of these archaic and discriminatory funding models would be greatly appreciated by me and other women in my situation.”

“Having spent a long time actually getting a prescription for HRT I have been faced - every 2 months to work the lottery of availability of one or both parts of my prescription; it’s stressful and frustrating. I think the pharmacy staff must dread the menopausal women like me sounding off at every visit -please please can we resolve the supply issues as well!!!”

“I am approaching my 64th Birthday and think back wondering 'what if;' how my body is now maybe the result of the Menopause and lack of ignorance from my GP.
For a few years in my early 50's I kept going to my GP, in the end he sent me for a blood test of which I was told apparently showed I was indeed going through the Menopause, at NO point was my medical family background looked into, at no point was I offered any further help.
My joints and muscles continually hurt me beyond speech some days, I know I have Osteo Arthritis and was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, but how do I know IF these are part of the Menopause.
Due to a severe Fish Allergy I suffered out of the blue about 17 years ago I now do not eat ANY fish, I am scared to take multi vitamins or anything containing Omega Fish Oil, as a result my body is behaving like it is 90 years of age. I am scared, I don't know where to turn and sadly my Mum is no longer here, I feel so so ALONE.”

“I found out I was going through the menopause when I was 52 years old. Previous to that, I had had the symptoms for two years. I went to my doctor for two years because the symptoms were unbearable. I was getting up about 2 to 3 times a night with hot flushes, unable to sleep, having suicidal and racing thoughts, feeling hopeless. It was only when I had a blood test that I found out that I had the menopause. Before that I had been put on anti-depressants which made my symptoms worse. Funnily enough, the people that I found who were most understanding of my plight were men, NOT women.”

“The best years of my life have been stolen. That’s how I feel. From my early thirties I went from a confident, strong minded and capable woman to a nervous, scared and crippled with anxiety one, and a shell of who I used to be.

 After having my child at age 32 I got what I thought was a little post-natal depression, after 10 months it seemed to ease but I never felt how I used to feel pre pregnancy. I lost count of the visits to the Dr’s who just prescribed anti depression meds and eventually beta blockers to deal with the symptoms. But nothing really helped with finding the route cause. I told them how bad it was at certain times of the month but no one listened.

So for over 20 years I’ve lived my life with little to no confidence, struggling to do anything on my own, unable to drive far from my home due to the anxiety not to mention the friends who melted away due to how I was and how unreliable I could be due to never knowing how I’d feel each day and breaking plans last minute.

I’m now almost 57 and took it upon myself to do something about this it or at least try after seeing various articles and shows about menopause and perimenopause and recognising myself in virtually every symptom.

I’ve now been on bio identical hormones for 3 months and it’s been life changing. I no longer have anxiety; I feel more confident and the mental brain fog has gone. I can’t help but feel my last 20 odd years have been stolen from me by what feels like neglect of care, and all for the sake of a truly in-depth blood test not just the FSH levels I used to hear them talk about! I don’t take any medication other than my HRT now. I can never prove how much they let me down, but I know they did, and I can never get those years back again.”

“For 8 years I've battled menopause, which hit me like a truck. In a matter of weeks, I lost my entire sense of self-confidence, normal quick wittedness, attention to/ awareness of any of kind of detail, my memory just went. Within months I didn't recognise my body anymore. I was totally unprepared for how profound the change in all of me would be and it felt impossible to articulate accurately how much grief I was experiencing for the person I'd always been, without sounding either mad or ludicrously self-absorbed. I didn’t want more children but not being able to have another also triggered immense unexpected sadness about a previous miscarriage and termination I'd had 20 and 30 years previously.

I'm 8 years in and still having symptoms- I can't have HRT as it gives me migraines due to progesterone sensitivity and I've been told I'm therefore a stroke risk. In addition, I was diagnosed with ADHD last year - the symptoms of which become far more pronounced in women during menopause and these can be reduced greatly with HRT. ADHD in women is vastly underdiagnosed as the symptoms present so differently in girls than they do in boys, so it's often missed until women's hormone levels change in later life.

There are so many layers to menopause, it's absolutely boggling and to be honest it's broken me.”

“I am going through surgical menopause, I had a full hysterectomy at 44 and was not told about the onslaught of surgical menopause and the harsh menopausal systems I will endure after surgery. Still now 2 years later I’m struggling to find Balance of my oestrogen levels and testosterone levels through my own survival and fight. Even after paying privately twice to see menopause specialists I have fought this battle alone and it has took everything from me; but we can't give up especially us women going through surgical menopause, we need better, quicker and more help now.”

“I need help urgent help re my health and menopause.

I’ve been reaching out for help, begging. Not being heard. Instead the Dr refers me to mental health units. No offer of another HRT. I have been on no medicine for over 6 months - Hair loss, rage, hot feet, tooth loss, memory loss.

I need real help and support fighting my GP. They have now diagnosed me with unstable emotional personality disorder ((without an assessment). I’m grieving the loss of my ex-husband, losing my job, menopause, infertility, caring for my dad and brother who is on methodone, never being a mum, stage 5 endometriosis and now this…with 0%.

I’m so scared. I have so many more symptoms. I need support with being heard.”

“Most people who know me well, know that I have been through a really tough couple of years. They know this because I have spoken to them about it. I didn’t at first, but it became so frightening, overwhelming, and isolating I needed help. My symptoms were crippling anxiety, emotional numbness, extreme exhaustion and a feeling of losing myself. She had gone. Packed up and left. I thought for good. I was sad. And scared. All the time.

Once I started talking about my symptoms, physical and consequential changes, my fears, my anxiety and loneliness, I realised I wasn’t alone. The hardest thing about accepting the menopause is that until recently, we didn’t talk about it. So how could I know that what I was experiencing was the peri/menopause.

I now realise that menopause is a life transition, and not a disease to be feared. Since embracing and dealing with these changes, I know I will never again be Me 1.0. Me 2.0 is no longer fearful of the future. And although I feel I’m still only 80% of who I was before the menopause, I can live with that. Because the alternative was not an option. For me.

This has been a long, long voyage of learning and discovery. One size does not fit all. It has taken me a long time to get to where I am, to find what I needed to do for myself, but I know I still have a way to go. I’ll keep talking. It saved me.

By talking with and because of the unfaltering support of my amazing partner (trust them, they want you to be ok) I know I’ll be ok. I couldn’t have done this without him. We kept talking. Thank you.

If you need to talk. Then do it. It’s like a releasing a pressure valve. Talk to your GP, to a specialist, to your friends, to your partner, to your family. Not everyone will understand or want to talk about the menopause. But someone will. And I will. And it will help.”

“My journey to my POI diagnosis began in 2020. I noticed my menstrual cycles becoming more irregular and spaced out. I also noticed some cycles becoming extremely heavy, which made me seek out advice from my OBGYN. During this time, my mother suddenly passed away from Covid, making me my father’s primary caretaker. He was diagnosed with Lewey Body Dementia a few years prior.

This was one of the darkest moments in my life. During this time of grieving, I was depressed and apathetic. I couldn’t get myself out of this dark hold that encompassed me. In addition to my loss, I was incredibly stressed because I didn’t know how to handle the situation with my father because he lives in New York. I thought the stress contributed to my irregular periods and bouts of depression. After the many tests my doctor performed, I was officially diagnosed with POI (Premature Ovarian Insufficiency). This means that my ovaries were no longer producing normal amounts of the hormone estrogen or releasing eggs regularly, causing infertility and early menopause. That’s when the anger set in. Going through early menopause and having the ability to have children, stripped from my life. Just like my mother’s life and my father’s health.

After weeks of incredible emotional pain, I made the choice to work with a therapist to help me process my grief and depression. My gynecologist was so incredibly kind and helpful, and was able to provide me with the right resources and options to treat the side effects of early menopause. Not many people are aware, but menopause (especially before your 50’s) can cause osteoporosis, heart disease and depression. Low Estrogen, Progesterone and Testosterone can bring these conditions on earlier, greatly affecting the quality of life. After discussing my options, I decided to go with HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) in the form of a compounding cream customized just for me at a local Compounding Pharmacy.

In about 2 week’s time, I noticed my energy levels change for the better. My mood improved greatly. After about a month’s time, my hormone levels improved and my estrogen was no longer below 10.

After the good news, I decided that I needed to be strong for my father and those closest to me. I began exercising and eating better on a daily basis. The hot flashes finally stopped as well, and I was able to get a great night’s sleep as well as focus and perform better as work.

I also changed my mindset as to what being a mother looks like. We can be mothers to our friends, to our family and to ourselves. There are so many options, such as adoption, foster care and even becoming a step parent. The options are out there, we just have to shift our mindset and let go of all our old expectations.

Today I choose to love my body, my mind and my POI diagnosis. We are strong women who can overcome anything. I am truly grateful for discovering THE DAISY NETWORK, a charity for all women facing POI and early menopause. They are an incredible support system and a great resource.

The Daisy Network is one of the platforms I will be advocating for in the upcoming US Continental Pageant in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. I am truly honored to be a part of this incredible opportunity and to share my story so I can inspire other women facing this condition. POI and early menopause need to be discussed freely without the stigma of shame. We are not any less of a woman because of diagnosis. We are strong women! We are POI Warriors!”

“When it began for me, I thought I was losing my mind; crying all the time, high anxiety, bad thoughts, body aches, weight gain, hair thinning, no sex drive, no energy - always tired, hot flashes, just hating life and the person I’ve become. I’ve been on premerin for 5 years now and it was a miracle pill for a while but within the last year I’m crying more. Anxiety is still there and a lot of other things. I just want my life back, who I use to be, I want to be happy again! I’m more irritated than happy. There are so many women like me, people need to understand more that this is ripping people’s life’s apart.”

“In 2012 I attended a meeting on BioTe HRT. Decided to get a hormone blood panel to see if I was a candidate. Was not having hot flashes but there were other symptoms (noted by my husband).
Still getting procedure done every 4- 5months. For me, I am back to osteopenia and feel great. My husband started as well after he saw the difference in me. I’m 70 yrs. young.”

“After years of very heavy bleeding and endometriosis pain, - when I developed a large complex but non-cancerous cyst on my ovary for the second time, I was told the best thing would be to remove the ovary and fallopian tube.

On the day of the operation the surgeon came to see me and said my hormone profile indicated I had more or less gone through menopause (even though it had only been 6 months since my last menstrual period) and that the hormones I had were not doing that much so might as well get rid of both to rule out future issues.

As a consultant surgeon, I feel that he viewed me as having a set of faulty organs, the answer being to remove them but I weep to think of my absolute ignorance in taking this one-dimensional view to be the whole picture. I was grateful for his care but didn’t realise I was effectively making an on-the-spot uneducated decision which would permanently change my physical and mental health, alone in a hospital waiting room.

Three years on I can look back and understand the joint pain, brain fog, weight gain, loss of libido, decline in mental health etc etc but I feel robbed of much of this time having spent it unprepared and in the dark. There was no aftercare beyond a surgical fix point of view. I’m now working on changing my own story through HRT, diet and exercise but any actions I’ve taken are thanks entirely to my enlightenment through the current amazing explosion of information sharing, education and campaigning.”

“I'm 48, about to turn 49. My birthday will mark another year in the wilderness that is perimenopause. Since turning 40 my world turned upside down and inside out. I was apparently too young for menopause symptoms and was prescribed anti-depressants for anxiety. They killed any joi de vivre I had left and I haven't recovered from anhedonia.

Once I hit the magic age of 45 my symptoms were finally taken seriously.

I've been on HRT for a while but I am struggling to get the right balance. Oestrogen has undoubtedly helped ease many of my symptoms but I now find I'm sensitive to progesterone. I felt better for about a year but now the craziness is back along with debilitating headaches.

Progress is too slow, I'm losing months of my life to searching for the right balance and I just feel like giving up.

Getting to see an NHS doctor who can help is almost impossible. I've even paid privately and that has been so slow too, not to mention painfully expensive. My symptoms are now affecting my work again and I'm frightened that I will lose my income.”

“In 2012 I had a hysterectomy; I can pinpoint the exact day things changed- within 2 days I was in full menopause. Before I left the hospital I asked the doctor for HRT, only to be told that as I had a history of blood clots 'I couldn't have HRT, but I probably wouldn't need them anyway'.
The next 10 years have been pure hell - my mental health became a massive issue, anxiety, agoraphobia, and suicidal thoughts... I was sent to 3 psychiatrists, worked through 9 yes 9 antidepressants none of which helped and I was eventually told they could do no more for me! I saw numerous therapists who dragged up long past 'trauma' which had been dealt with and forgotten- it was blamed for my depression (which was absolutely 100% not the cause).
Physically I was in constant pain and was diagnosed with Fibro, given painkillers which did nothing. The flushes and my mental health caused me to have to give up my career.

I couldn't sleep or slept too much depending on my mental health, I avoided people and never socialised, my libido took a massive nosedive and has been nonexistent since my wedding night. In 2015 I cried every single day without fail, felt worthless and empty and couldn't leave the house or visit my grandchildren I was totally isolated. I had many many occasions where I felt I'd be better off dead, I just wanted to stop feeling the way I did.

I existed during those 10 years, I didn't live and I'm so angry I was cheated out of that time by being refused HRT at the time of my surgery. During the entire 10 years at no time did any GP or the other health care professionals question whether it could be menopause.

1 month ago, I saw THE documentary and everything fell into place, the following day I made a private appointment with a menopause specialist. I have been on Oestrogel for 4 weeks and my life is so different already - the flushes have stopped, my mental health is so much better, my body pain is 80% better, I sleep properly and I can now leave my house....I just returned from seeing my brand new grandson, something 6 weeks ago would have been impossible .... HRT changes lives and ALL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS need to be educated on Menopause and the impact it has on women's lives on a daily basis.

I can look forward to my life again and therefore by the grace of God I'm still here to make that statement, sadly many women aren't!”

“I could not get to speak to a Dr for 6 weeks even though I said I knew it was menopause. I’d had a rough week; anxious, no confidence felt out of control with my emotions, cried with my daughter and held my grandson’s hand for what I thought would be the last time. I was an emotional mess. It got to Monday, I was a finance manager and it was payroll day and I was so brain fogged I cried my way through the day, when I got home at 3 I sat on the stairs and cried! I mentioned my day on a menopause FB page and a friend I knew from running locally reached out and messaged me; thank God she did, she told me to ring the Dr asap. I pleaded for an earlier appointment the receptionist asked why, I said because I won’t be here in 6 weeks, ‘oh I’ll get you a call today!!’ It saved my life but why aren’t we heard why is mental health not recognised with menopause? I have set up a Menopause North East Facebook page just for a bit of banter and a ‘you are not alone approach.’ I thought stupidly growing up that menopause was hot flushes and no periods! Even remember thinking when I was flooded off my feet… roll on menopause! How blooming wrong I was!”

“I’ve been menopausal for 2 years approx. been backwards and forwards to GPs about symptoms. Tried HRT no difference. Main symptoms are stomach issues, wind, different bowel symptoms, abdominal pain. Non-stop, doctors keep saying IBS, but I think it’s connected to menopause, had various scans etc. Battling everyday with symptoms and feel dreadful.”

“Hi I just listened to the BBC news at 7.25a.m. today. I have been suffering for years with the symptoms talked about. I hit rock bottom last week. Tried 3 times to get a Dr appt without success. I asked to have a nurse appt for women's over 45 health check and was told they have paused these spots due to flu vaccine and COVID winter vaccines. I finally got a telephone appt late on Friday to be told I needed an antidepressant. I don't want antidepressants. I need to be heard and given proper help. I have suffered with endometriosis and now my menopause symptoms are affecting every aspect of my life. It's like menopause is of no consequence to Drs even though it destroys the health and wellbeing of the person suffering.”

“Hi. I have been going through the menopause since February 2014. I have been struggling every day since with really bad symptoms i.e. hot flushes, mood swings, feeling low all the time, no sex drive. My problem is I can't go on HRT due to being on hormone tablets years ago which caused me to spend time in hospital, so ever since then I am unable to have HRT. I've been struggling. I have tried hormone patches but had to stop them due to having a skin reaction. My GP has had to write to Plymouth to the liver specialist to see if I can have the hormone gel but I have been waiting ages for a reply from Plymouth to see if I can have it. I don't know what to do I have suffered years of hell my life is not my own, it revolves around hormones. I hate my life right now and the menopause is making my mental health issues worse. I can't cope any longer by myself. I can't keep going to the doctor as they will not do anything; I would so love to go on HRT tablets. I really need help and support. When I get a hot flush, I feel rage /anger also I feel suicidal… my doctor knows this but just put it down to my anxiety and depression, but I know it's not… well not all of it anyway. Every time I go out, I have to redo my hair and change all the time because of the sweats; night times are horrible I wake up soaking. I have no one to turn to, there is no help and support where I live in i.e. south molten. I've been desperate for a long time for help I feel as if I'm a prisoner in my own body I just suffer in silence This is my story.”

“My horrific menopause story (and my family…)
Peri-menopause to PRISON for almost 3 years sentence at age 51!! Mental breakdown due to menopause, no help only locked up in prison. The darkest most terrifying time of my life. Let down completely by my GP’s, NHS, UK justice system, myself and my family suffered immensely. No other woman should suffer my long story …. You would be so shocked at my whole story. I am scared to share my story but I want to help raise awareness and help other women. I need to share this with Parliament for so many reasons.”

“Hi everyone, I would like to share my story. I am devastated as I had no choice but to leave my cabin crew job that I loved as I just couldn’t cope with working the hours full time. My anxiety levels were going through the roof and not being able to sleep with an already mixed sleep pattern was horrendous and my confidence was starting to disappear. I would finish one block of shifts and be starting the next just as I started to recover. It all started when I was unable to get the HRT due to the shortage. The airline I worked for didn’t have any support in place, I felt alone and like I was a nuisance every time I said to my line manager I couldn’t cope. They put me in touch a Human Resources team and the aviation doctor said my hours should be reduced. It took so long for anyone to make a decision that I just couldn’t cope. I have since found out since just 2 weeks after my leaving they are bringing in a menopause policy!
Feel so sad and let down. I’m now 3 months back on the HRT and starting to feel better but the airline will not let me return. It’s so sad. If the HRT had been available this would never have happened. As for the airline, they certainly didn’t ‘cross the t, dot the I and put the u in the middle’!”

“I am 44 still having regular cycles, not in a relationship, experiencing perimenopausal symptoms such as brain fog, memory problems, frequent UTI infections, headaches, mood changes and disrupted sleep. One nurse says I am perimenopausal, another nurse my UTI's are not caused by hormones but other things. I've having a mammogram for lumpy breast tissue which may be normal. I will be taking HRT eventually. I know I'm peri-menopausal but I get different opinions. I am single fit have a high fibre high protein diet and swim 3 times a week. I've never had children, so I've started perimenopause early.”

“At 42 I had a hysterectomy with everything out, large fibroids removed and extensive stage 4 endometriosis excised at the same time. No one warned me that surgical menopause would be brutal. I only knew that I would be given HRT from 4 weeks post-surgery. I had had 3 years of medically induced menopause (and managed that with tibolone HRT, it wasn’t pleasant but I managed) so I thought all would be ok. It hit me hard. 3 weeks post op I felt as though all of the joy had been sucked out of my life overnight. I didn’t care, about anything. I couldn’t imagine ever feeling better. My GP hadn’t been very clued up on HRT and I felt lost. I heard about a menopause plan with BUPA and though I couldn’t really afford it I thought it worth a shot. The menopause specialist (that was also an NHS GP) I spoke with for 45 minutes was knowledgeable, understanding and had time to listen and help me to understand what was happening to me. She prescribed an oestrogen spray and progesterone pill to take daily to give me the ability to increase the dose every 4 weeks for 3 months as necessary and said we’d discuss testosterone and my general well-being in 3 months. There’s a phone line that I can ring 24/7 to speak to their menopause team and just knowing help is at hand is enormously reassuring. Surgical menopause is BRUTAL and someone should have talked me through this stuff before my operation, and talked me through things afterwards. I was NOT ok. Despite reading up as much as I could on menopause very few books covered surgical menopause in any detail. That needs to change. Women having hysterectomies which include the removal of ovaries need to be supported and heard. Things have to change. It’s hard dealing with everything that goes with having a hysterectomy, but the shock of being plunged into surgical menopause without anyone to turn to felt utterly overwhelming. I believe women are being failed by not being given the support they need when they are recovering from major surgery and failed again by not being told what will happen and by not being given a plan. There is no menopause specialist at my doctor’s surgery and I was told there would be a very long wait to be referred to a menopause specialist. I waited for my hysterectomy for 3 years and 9 months, couldn’t someone have arranged a meeting with a menopause specialist for me at some point before my operation? I have never gone private before, and it really upsets me to know that there may be lots of women who feel as desperate as I did, who don’t know about things like the Bupa menopause plan or who can’t afford it. They are being failed.”

“Hi, I have a very positive story about my menopause. It has been a time of reinvention. I changed careers in my late 50s. I went from being a stay-at-home mom of 4 children to empty nester to yoga teacher to, now at the age of 60, Head of Yoga for an online wellness platform for women over 40. I am helping other women through their menopause journey- something I did not have.
For me, the menopause was a launchpad onto a new career, to meeting new people and to doing fun things. I wish this for all menopausal women.”

“Hi I am 47 and had oestrogen fed breast cancer two years ago. I am starting with perimenopausal symptoms and no doctor seems to know how to help as I can't have oestrogen. I feel as though I hit a brick wall at every turn and that I must be the only woman out there that has had breast cancer pre menopause?!? Being told I can use lubrication and if necessary, antidepressants, I don't have either of those debilitating symptoms yet, so not much use. I have always, and still do prefer to find a natural option to heal myself, but I can't use herbal options either, because of the high risks of breast cancer. My mum has Alzheimer's so I'm also trying to dodge that as much as poss. Feels as if I'm going to a miserable mess in the corner with nothing I can do to help myself. Please can you help me?!?”

“I went to my doctor on and off for 5 years about a number of different symptoms. Weight gain, anxiety, aching joints etc. for the first 2.5 years the only advice I consistently received was to reduce my stress levels at work and lose weight! Anxiety reached an all-time high in Feb 19 and I broke down at home then at the doctors. I was put on Sertraline with no follow up consultations at any point. It was only after Davina’s show that I demanded I was put on HRT - I sent an email to my doctor instead of going to see them (I had been requesting HRT for some time but they refused because of the breast cancer risks!) Eventually I was put on Everil patches. It was life changing and after another 3 months I also came off the anti/depressants. The support and understanding from my GP practice was absolutely non-existent. I shared my story on Facebook after Davina’s first show and the number of comments and DMs I received from female friends experiencing the same was desperately sad...”

“Been in the menopause since 31 years of age following full hysterectomy. I finally braved it and asked for help at my GP and he referred me to a Gynae specialist. My referral appointment came through the post last week and my appointment is MARCH 2024!!!”

“My symptoms started 8 yrs ago. Night sweats , mood swings, panic attacks. My family has suffered through so much. Things got much worse two years ago and I became agoraphobic and suicidal. I’ve been asking for HRT from the GP for these last eight years . At 48 they are finally taking me seriously but only after they have done various tests, I’m still waiting. Now I have the added joy of my bones and joints aching. Why should women have to suffer like this?”

“I am falling apart somehow. Without HRT I feel dead inside. But the progesterone part affects my mental health in a scary way. For the first time in my life, I became suicidal. I felt there was no longer any point to me. My GP is great, but it's so hard to get an appointment and even then, it's a phone call. I just feel abandoned and let down by the NHS for the first time in my life. Why have women been so ignored? Why is it so hard? Why can't I get testosterone on the NHS?? My friend gave me some of hers and it has made such a difference, but it's not available through the NHS. I quietly struggle on. I do my yoga, my breathwork, my meditation. I've lost an essential part of myself. I don't know if or when I will get it back. I wish there was more time, more research, more support, more care. I love this group and have found so much solace in it. Women united will never fail. I just wonder if the solution will come soon enough for me.”

“I entered surgical Menopause in 2017 at the age of 34 after having a full hysterectomy due to carrying the faulty BRCA1 gene. My menopause has been so difficult-not only have I lost my womanly organs, I’ve lost the ability to have any more children, but I’ve also lost who I was. I don’t recognise myself anymore. The hot sweats, insomnia, food intolerances, severe bloating, muscle and joint pain, migraines and anxiety (to mention a few) are only one part of it. Menopause has made me question everything- can I do my job anymore? Can I be the best mum I possibly can to my daughter? Will I ever feel like me again?

Since 2017 I have struggled to find the right HRT for me- the patches fell off and I was allergic to them, the tablets were so hard to remember to take due to the brain fog and cognitive issues, so after two years of fighting to get it, I was started on the HRT pellet/implant. It has helped. The symptoms have reduced. Mentally I’m still struggling, but hopefully that too will start to get better.

We need more education and awareness about menopause- it affects not only those going through it, but those around them too- family, friends, co-workers. We should all know how it can impact a person’s life.”

“Hi, I live in Brazil and I just watched the documentary talking about menopause and its symptoms. 10 years ago I had a tumor in my ovaries and had to have an operation to remove them and so I entered early menopause, since then my life has become hell, I even tried take hormone replacement, but because of the tumor it was not well received by my body, generating other diseases and by recommendation I ended up suspending the replacement. I've tried to change my diet, do exercises, but nothing helped me, it only gets worse and with that honestly my life is just one hell after another. I haven't slept well in years, I live with heat, body weakness, I have developed bone and joint problems, I honestly live in depression and I have a constant thought of ending my life, I know you are in England, but if can you help me in any way...thanks..”

“I'm 44 and have been perimenopausal for 7 years. Despite the risks of early menopause, it's taken me till this year to get a GP to stop saying it's in my imagination, and to prescribe HRT. Even now, I'm living under threat of it being taken away because of the NICE mantra of "as low a dose as possible for the least amount of time".

I've gained 2 stone in the 4mths I've been on it despite changing nothing about how I move and eat. Part of me is resigning myself to going back to the hormonal, irrational, desperate person I was and just giving up my job because I just honestly can't be bothered to fight to be "normal" anymore.”

“Did an e-consult because despite 75 micrograms, symptoms are creeping back. I’m achey, short tempered, hot flushes to the point of permanent wet pants and bra.

I specifically asked to speak to the MP specialist, I got a general GP who didn’t know me and asked when I had my last period. She knew the consult was about MP and hormones but failed to know that I had a hysterectomy 5 years ago! She told me if she increased the Estrodot that it would be the maximum dose possible then proceeded to tell me that if I was on HRT for a long time, I was at greater risk of breast cancer and blood clots. I challenged her with the information I’ve collected, which she defended with that old fashioned almost ‘rumoured’ responses. I asked if she expected me accept the status quo and end up as a mess on the floor in order to negate the incredibly small risk of cancer and blood clots?

In my humble and menopausal opinion, docs are right to inform us about the risks but they should give both side of the scales. The risk of those serious diseases is infinitesimal compared to the wreck I was a year ago. I had suicidal thoughts, anxiety, hot sweats, joint pain, insomnia, headache and migraines and I was a total cow to live with. Estrogen and progesterone have changed and possibly saved my life.”

“Was struggling badly with insomnia, night sweats, anxiety, depression, brain fog, back pain, sore joints, muscle aches, tinnitus, tingling feet, palpitations, body odour... contacted the gp surgery who outsourced a call with a consultant gp because they were short staffed. She was brilliant. Prescribed me oestrogel and handed me back to the gp. A few weeks later the anxiety, depression and insomnia got much worse and my regular gp doubled the dose and gave me sertraline and mirtazapine because she was at a loss as to what to do. She was horribly unsympathetic. I knew it wasn't classic depression and refused to take the meds. After two months, I quit the gel and self-referred to acupuncture and a private menopause clinic. The meno doctor said I wasn't absorbing the gel, put me on estraderm patches which improved things slightly but they kept falling off. Now on estradot patches and pretty much all my symptoms have improved. GPs need proper training. My gp was waaay put of her depth when things didn't go in text book fashion. Please make menopause a standard part of training for ALL doctors and medical departments. Menopause affects all of the body, not just gynaecology, so treating the symptoms individually doesn't help. Psychiatry also need to know. Holistic medicine is an absolute necessity. Thank you.”

“I received my BRCA1 pathogenic results in 2019, and had a total hysterectomy and bilateral mastectomy in 2020 at the age of 37 years. My only child was just 2 years old. I believed I was doing something for my health that would have no side effects. It was only after my surgeries that I came to understand the complications of surgical menopause. I had suffered Postpartum Depression and so requested HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) in hopes of avoiding the mood swings I'd had. I was given the minimum dose, which failed to relieve my almost immediate symptoms of night sweats, hot flashes, brain fog, migraines, vertigo, and mood swings. I requested a higher dosage and was given 1.25mg of Premarin. This alleviated the worst of what I was feeling and allowed me to feel like myself, especially in mood, which was critical to me in being present and supportive for my husband and daughter. Shortly after, Covid occured, and my family and I had to move countries. I was left without medication while between medical systems and plunged into vertigo that left me in bed for days. No one seemed to understand the urgency with which I was seeking HRT. I was given basic HRT yet again and have had to fight and advocate constantly for facetime with a doctor who understood the necessity of HRT, especially for someone of my age and circumstance. I now understand surgical menopause has and will have a great many effects on my long term health. I need to take supplements, and I need to manage the rest of my health closely to avoid complications like dementia, alzheimer's, bone density loss, and heart conditions among others. Instead of achieving better health, I traded a risk of cancer for early menopause and the multitude of effects it has on the quality of a woman's life. I feel like women have been failed in what should be a basic health right. I feel like education in our younger years and especially before surgical menopause is 100% lacking. I feel like menopause is too easily dismissed as inconsequential to women's long term health. I hope that by the time my daughter is a young women, menopause is openly talked about, and HRT is a right for every woman as part of basic health management no matter her age. We can only achieve that with working together and all advocating for women's health.”

“After visiting two GP’s who couldn’t decide if I had arthritis or bursitis in both hips, it was agreed I’d try steroid injections in my hips to see if it helped. It didn’t. (Shock!) after some personal investigation I asked my GP if I could try HRT, within 3 weeks the pain was gone! That and many other symptoms I hadn’t even recognised as menopausal. That was two years ago and I’ve never looked back!”

“The menopause came like a bolt out of the blue. Aged 46 menustration just stopped abruptly. A downward spiral began of depression, irritability and suicidal ideation. Tried to read and develop knowledge of natural alternatives. Trying many to no avail. Came across a natural product and various teas and suppliments. The menopause is not spoken about enough and women very often suffer in silence. I have coped through the worst of emotions but thankfully I have managed to work through this transitional change.”

“I would like to put it out there that I suffered sweats, terrible mood swings, and all other symptoms you can think off and with a few remedies from a homeopath and no alchohol my symptoms went away.. My energy came back and so did my brain power. Please consider this as an option. It may take a couple of visits but its better than anything else and worth a try for anyone with an open mind.”

“My pharmacy sat on my script while I had covid (10 full days) then told me couldn’t get 75mg Estrodot patches and had to go back to GP. I suggested 50/100mg and I’d use scissors…..that’s not allowed. Problem was I needed the other 2 items urgently, so don’t have the Estrodot or a script for it. I went on holiday that day worrying what I was going to do about it. Another 10 days later receptionist at my doctors told me I’d have to be prescribed something else. I said I’d rather find some Estrodot as I feel human for the first time in years. She pulled a face but said she’d message the duty doctor to see if he’d put a new script on ‘The Spine’, which was against policy. How will I know if he agrees, I asked. You won’t hear from us she said 🤦🏻 So I’m off for a drive round the county today, in the hope a script is on ‘The Spine’. Thank god for the original diagnosing GP, when she increased my dose, she suggested keeping the unopened box of 5Omg, in case there was ever a shortage, Just as we were going to sleep last night, my lovely understand and supportive husband suggested I go first to the private hospital that I use to get my progesterone……and just pay for it! It’s a great idea but it shouldn’t be necessary. I’ve had poor mental health and our sex life has always been part of my good mental health and stability. When my libido fell off a cliff, it was devastating and the final straw after being diagnosed with mild ptsd. I considered suicide. Progesterone literally saved my life. I gave up work to look after my Dad when my Mum died earlier this year, so I’m not financially dependent at the moment but we are lucky enough to be able to afford the private appointments and scripts. My gynaecologist (of 15 years) sees mostly menopause related patients these days, sometimes whole clinics are taken up with women whose GP’s won’t or can’t prescribe hormones. We must come together to resolve this treatment and inequality. I have time to help if you need foot soldiers in your campaign. Thank you for all your work”

“Four years ago, aged 49, I was on a business trip in Berlin, where I thought the heating in the hotel was stuck on high as I was literally drenched with sweat after a long hot and sticky night. It was minus 5 outside. After asking all my colleagues if they found if hot, they just laughed. On that same trip, I asked the international travellers if they had any melatonin as I was suddenly finding I couldn’t sleep. Years prior to this, I had been backwards and forwards to my GP with anxiety and depression symptoms, increasing migraine attacks and joint stiffness. I ended up being prescribed antidepressants, beta blockers and diazepam along with referrals to the ENT specialist for the migraines and a physiotherapist for the joint pain. The heart palpitations, itchy skin and low libido were pretty much ignored by my GP. Following the Berlin trip, I came home and realising the night sweats had become a regular thing, it suddenly dawned on me that I was menopausal. How stupid had I been that at 49 and with a myriad of symptoms, some of which I’d been coping with for around 5 years, had I not realised I was perimenopausal. I’d never even heard the word peri menopause until I googled it. And so off I trotted to my GP who basically said ‘bingo, hot flushes means you’re in the menopause!’ and I was sent away with the advice that I should do my own research on HRT and come back in 3 months time if I was still struggling. Very quickly I began researching and found the social media pages of the UK’s leading menopause specialist and realised I’d been fobbed off by my GP. Armed with the evidence I returned to my GP who did much eye rolling because she’s the doctor right and not me?! So, I began my HRT journey with a low dose oestrogen patch and within a week the night sweats stopped. The story doesn’t end there but that would take too long to write but in brief, I eventually paid to see the menopause specialist I followed on Instagram and was listened to and properly heard for the first time. Four years on from that work trip and I’m on a high dose of oestrogen, along with testosterone and vaginal oestrogen. The antidepressants are long gone and I manage to work full time (a five day week crammed into 4 days), look after my granddaughters one day a week to help with childcare costs, care for my youngest daughter who still lives at home, care for my elderly mum who lives close by and I do this alone as my partner walked out on me during my perimenopausal hell. Am I happy? Yes, happier than I’ve been in a very long but sad that I had to suffer for so long and that women are still suffering and being either ignored or misdiagnosed.”

“6 months ago, I finally received a diagnosis for the increasing number of debilitating symptoms I have been suffering with for years. For the past 5 years I've been back and forth to the GP starting with me feeling depressed. I sat and cried to the GP telling her 'I'm not me anymore' and 'I don't know what's happening to me'. I was prescribed antidepressants and sent on my way. Within the next few months, I was driving along and fantasising about driving off the side of the mountain. I went back to the GP and she increased the dose of my antidepressants. I asked if it could be my hormones. Maybe menopause? She asked if I was still having periods and I told her I have the mirena coil so don't have periods. She said I was too young for the menopause (I was just coming up to 41) so I believed her.

I started getting hot flushes but put this down to a side effect of my antidepressants so I reduced them back down. This didn't stop the flushes and my suicidal thoughts were getting worse. I then went back to the surgery and saw a different GP because I was having panic attacks. They came from nowhere. The final straw was when I had a massive panic attack in my car just because I was going to the hairdresser's. I literally couldn't do it.

The GP prescribed me diazepam which I initially refused as I know they're very addictive. He reassured me I would be fine. During this time, I decided to leave my partner of 7 years. I didn't even know why. I still loved him but my head was out of control and I just wanted to run away. I just spiralled further into depression. We did get back together but it was just one thing after another. Now I had this bad pain in my hip and lower back, I was waking up in a pool of sweat (which I still thought was a side effect from my antidepressants), I was dripping in sweat during the daytime even when I was outside in the middle of winter. I went back to the GP and again asked if I could be going through menopause. They took my blood but when I called for the results they came back 'normal'. I was also given prescription painkillers for my hip which had in large print that they were highly addictive.

Last year was a massive turning point. I found myself researching symptoms of dementia and Alzheimer's. I was literally terrified and convinced myself I had early onset dementia or Alzheimer's because my memory had been getting worse by the week. I couldn't focus on anything. I couldn't even read a book because I kept having to read the same page over and over but it just wasn't registering. My work was suffering and I would sit looking at a screen wondering what I was supposed to be doing. I ended up going off sick for 2 months and was seriously considering giving up a job I loved because I just felt completely useless. I was supposed to be supporting people with mental health issues. How could I support people when I can't even remember their names half the time? Then one day I was pulling onto a big roundabout and literally had a complete brain fog and didn't know what I was doing. I couldn't remember the rules of the road for a minute (seconds really). It was the most frightening experience as I could have killed someone or myself. I'd been researching menopause and after this I made an urgent appointment at my go surgery and I diagnosed myself. Yes, I diagnosed myself. I explained to the GP all my symptoms and she agreed I may be right and asked what I would like to do about it. No advice at all. I asked about HRT and she told me to go away and think about it first and make an appointment for the following week to discuss it. I had been speaking to a colleague in work who was going through the same and just talking to her made my mind up that what I was going through was not just me going mad, I felt validated.

The following I week I started on HRT and over the next month I began to feel better than I had in 5 years. It was then that I put all the pieces together, joined the dots and realised that the past 5 years was due to perimenopause and could have been treated with HRT instead of multiple antidepressants, anxiety pills and prescription pain killers. Even the pain in my hip and back which had been getting worse and spreading throughout my body, was gradually easing and I could stop taking the painkillers. Who knew all these symptoms could be all related to the menopause? It seems the 3 different GP's I had seen numerous times over 5 years didn't know. Or did they? And if so, why did they never once consider it, mention it? It's left me so angry but also very determined to ensure that all women and girls are made aware of all the different symptoms and be brave enough to demand to be taken seriously. I honestly believe that, if I didn't have such a good support network around me, my kids may have been left without a mother.”

“Having suffered with gynae issues for years, having random peri-menopausal symptoms - although not fully recognised/confirmed, having to muddle through, many a time thinking I was losing my mind and following surgery I’ve been plunged head first into a surgical menopause. Recovery post-surgery including trying to handle the menopausal symptoms has not been easy. Recovery is taking longer which in turn has developed into a position where my job is at stake and I’m losing my job.

It’s extremely stressful and draining. You worry how you’ll pay your bills; can you afford to pay for your HRT and will you find another job and will other employers be supportive? You feel you’ve been abandoned and not supported within the workplace, that your voice is not being heard and you are being penalised for a medical condition all woman have to face.

Well, it’s time we were heard, HRT should be free everywhere in the UK, women should be understood and supported, both in our daily lives and within the workplace. Far too many women struggle and suffer in silence. We are not frail, unable to perform or achieve goals or work to great standards within the workplace, we are merely going through a natural stage in our lives that all women face.”

“Late 2014 aged 42, I started to experience debilitating depression. It came out of no-where, I couldn’t understand what was going on! I left my Husband (early 2015) of which I had been with since aged 19 years old, thinking it was the relationship and I couldn't continue on with the up and down moods of mine and nor could he, I thought something was totally missing and couldn't understand 'where I had gone'. It was like someone had totally unzipped me and I no longer felt like ‘me’ anymore. I was still having infrequent periods and at times these would be so heavy, I wouldn't want to leave the house.

I met another man (since breaking up from husband), who turned out to be a narcissist although I wasn't aware of this until it was too late. He often would ridicule me when I had a heavy bleed and said my body odour had changed; now I know this is a side effect of the menopause, yet I didn't know I was in the menopause as I had always been told, you have to have no periods for a full 12 months before I could even consider that was a thing, but you can imagine at the time I was embarrassed and felt ashamed.

Debilitating anxiety took over, lasting for many years and I started to have thoughts that' 'I WAS DONE'... I even started to plan how I was going to end it all, and would obsess over this daily (suicidal thoughts were so real yet I never spoke about these feelings with anyone). I kept myself isolated and masked my feelings and emotions for fear of embarrassment, lack of understanding and also, I didn’t want anyone to know about my thoughts, as family and friends would talk me out of it and I would still be left with an emptiness of having to live. It was strange because whenever I thought about leaving this world, I had this calm feeling about knowing that I wouldn't have to carry these feelings around with me anymore. I remember contacting my GP at the time and he immediately asked me to go and see him. When I spoke about my symptoms and thoughts, he referred me to a Mental Health facility to have an assessment with a member of the crisis team. I can’t say it was a pleasurable experience, I was subject to an intense 4 hours interview which focused on my mental health and afterwards it was agreed I could go home, as the assessment confirmed I wasn't a danger to myself. Maybe I masked my feelings well, yet I wasn't asked about anything else. I am grateful to my GP at the time, as he recognised, I did need some support, yet nothing was taken into account about the symptoms I was experiencing which mirrored peri-menopause. He said, on more than one occasion 'Michelle you are definitely not in the peri- menopause you are too young. Who was I to question a qualified doctor?

Anxiety & depression continued for a long period, I changed so much in this time, I wasn't confident, happy or at peace with myself. I kept on reverting back to some old limiting beliefs from the past that I wasn’t good enough and started to have those recurring thoughts once more that my life had come to end, and to be totally real, it nearly did! I was having hot sweats, insomnia, a roller-coaster of negative emotions which seemed to last forever. I carried on coping on my own without any intervention for many years and experienced a total loss of myself and still every day I considered how I could end my life. Now with everyone saying I couldn't be in peri-menopause, I just accepted this, although unconsciously I kept questioning myself, could this be the start of the change? Who knew, it was never talked about and seemed to be a taboo subject back in the days, also was I too young like the doctor previously had said to me?

Fast forward to 2021, the depression was killing me, I was sad, unhappy and felt that something wasn’t quite right so I contacted my GP. I woke up that morning thinking this is the day I will leave this world, yet something inside of me encouraged me to reach out again to my GP (a different practice this time), this was 8am in the morning that I wrote; 'Please can someone contact me I am extremely low and depressed, I need to speak to a doctor urgently. A male GP called me at 16.05 the same day, and upon contacting me, I explained my symptoms and asked if I could be peri-menopausal or coming into the menopause, after all I had not had a period for approx. 11 months then. The male doctor then proceeded to say, ‘don’t be silly’ you are not in the menopause you are too young (at the time I was 48 years old I wasn't 49 yet as my birthday was months away) and asked me what anti-depressants did I wish for him to prescribe. WHAT....?? I was pouring my heart out to a doctor that I no-longer felt I could live; I was experiencing symptoms that mirrored the menopause and yet was told the only solution was anti-depressants and to choose the ones that I wanted and he would prescribe them. That’s when I thought I need to take some control! I could either end my suffering or take charge; now I was really angry, so I took charge. Anger wasn't an emotion that I had been experiencing and this ignited something inside me to start to find a solution. So, I contacted a private doctor who did a full history breakdown of my symptoms, what I was experiencing and confirmed I was in the menopause and prescribed medication to help me through this stage of my life. The private doctor wrote to my GP and they took over the medication prescription of providing me with HRT. HRT and Utrogestan I was on for 10 months. Now, fast forward to the beginning of this year 2022, I started to feel extremely unwell, fatigue and confusion, dizzy spells, chest pains and difficulty breathing with an irregular heat-beat; I was worried it could be the medication. I started to check my blood pressure daily, twice in the morning and the same in the evening. Once again, I was struggling mentally, emotionally and physically, as I was finding it hard to function daily. I reached out once again to my GP and ask if it could be the menopause medication and was met with a different approach, it could be that my blood pressure average which was 160/100 maybe causing these symptoms.

After visiting the doctors in person and now on blood pressure medication, the doctor advised to come off the menopause prescription as I would be a high risk for having a stroke coupled with my family history of high blood pressure, strokes and heart-attacks, I had no choice to stop all my menopause medication. Frightened and confused as I wasn't prepared to go back to the debilitating symptoms that had led me to consider ending my life. What was I to do? I could either accept there was nothing I could do, or find a way to manage my menopausal symptoms without the medication. So, I did!!!

Today, my message is clear ‘you’ the strong women can manage your symptoms with or without medication as I have done, incorporating holistic healing and complementary therapies such as breath-work, hypnosis, meditation, yoga and much more. Many women (like myself) still need solutions day-to-day to help them overcome some of the debilitating symptoms that stops them from living life to the fullest. Because it all begins with YOU. ‘You’ to make a conscious decision to shape a healthy lifestyle and to look and feel your personal best. No-one knows you the best and you would never dismiss ways to solve your own problems, to stand in your personal power and be open to the limitless wellbeing potential you have when you are in charge. There is an empowerment among women reaching this phase of their lives, as so many women now are talking and educating others about the menopause, yet I still read and also experience the suffering of women. Many women know adopting a one size fits all, trial and error approach is outrageous, when we are talking about your life and body. So how do you take back your personal power, (like I did) take charge of and manage your own unique symptoms, if you don’t know how to with or without medication? I have made a conscious effort this year to educate myself and other women in mindful menopause techniques using holistic healing and complementary therapies such as self-Hypnosis, breath-work, meditation and the use of crystals specifically to help with the varying symptoms of the menopause. Now, I know that some of these may not appeal to all women, and that’s OK, all I know is that they have helped me in ways that have allowed me to manage my symptoms and I truly feel the best I have been since I have been working with these approaches. I wake up each day NOW, knowing that I can take charge of my symptoms and that makes me feel empowered, I am not saying that there aren't days NOW where I feel low, sad and tired, of course, we are women, who take care of everyone else before we care for ourselves, right? Yet, I am in a better place knowing that I have the ability to manage my own mental, emotional and physically symptoms through different holistic solutions and complementary approaches, which then becomes individualised to me rather than relying on the 'one-size fits all approach, that so many women often speak out and one that I have experienced too. I am so pleased to be here sharing my story, as I nearly wasn't! I AM Michelle a Midlife Menopausal women and I AM determined to make the change, to a better menopause - I AM worth it, and so ARE YOU!”

“I worked full time as a receptionist whilst suffering menopause symptoms, hot night sweats, waking at 2.30 and 5.30 then up at 6 to go to work and return at 6pm. Daily anxiety, not able to get my sentences out, brain fog, low (non-existent) libido. Felt I was going mad until prescribed HRT. Overnight transformation, back to feeling ME again. However, cannot cope with full time work. Need time for me and self-care so handed in my notice. Lucky to be able to exist financially for the moment. I am concentrating on looking after myself and trying to lose the weight gained by being unhappy in my skin. Relieved to know weight gain is common with the menopause as I have piled it on around my tum.

Saw Lisa Snowdon on This Morning about a year ago and every word she said and how she felt I identified with. It was a great relief and comfort to know I wasn't on my own with these new body experiences all caused by the menopause. I feel heard now and I am not alone in my symptoms. I wish the menopause could be seen as a medical issue resulting in women like myself having to stop work. I wish there was financial support for those of us who have not got the motivation or energy to work. This is how debilitating the menopause can affect certain women such as myself. Thank you for highlighting the life changing experience of countless women. I hope parliament enables us to have free prescriptions as it is an expensive illness to treat/manage.”

“Where to begin. Almost 4 years ago I was taken off the combined pill at 56. Within weeks symptoms started, insomnia, low mood, hair coming out. Things escalated quickly and I made several visits to the GP asking for HRT as I knew after 40 odd years on the pill, I needed my hormones back. I was given sleeping pills and antidepressants, several types as nothing helped. Between October 2018 and end of Jan 2019 I lost over 3 stones in weight, so weak I couldn't walk, so I made 4 visits to A+E, saw a private neurologist as I was convinced, I had dementia or cancer.

Eventually end of Jan I couldn't sleep, eat or drink. Started hallucinations with all medication and no food. I attempted to end my life taking every sleeping pill, antidepressants, diazapam paracetamol I had. Broke my heart crying when I was woken up 10 hours later in hospital.

Was then put in a psychiatric hospital for four months which was worse than any horror film I've seen. Begged again for HRT. Even more medication. Made another 2 attempts to end my life that year. Took me another two years of fighting to obtain HRT last June and it was by chance as a new locum started at the surgery. He was a young man who had done training in menopause. He prescribed it and I've not looked back since. Nightmare is still not over though. Still on a lot of antidepressants. Don’t know if I'll ever get off them. Now have chronic constipation due to all the meds. Lost a job I loved. Suffered anxiety panic attacks, relationship with family and friends suffer to this day. To top it all I complained to Ombudsman. Received a call yesterday to say they won't investigate it as based on response from practice manager where little of this was mentioned. I said they didn't follow guidelines. She said they are only guidelines. I've now gone to the last stage asking for a review of her decision. I know I'll get nowhere. She said their response was reasonable and sympathised with me. I have to do it then I know I've done everything possible. All I asked for was that lessons were learned but if she thinks my treatment was reasonable then women will be treated exactly the same. I wish someone could help guide me, let my story be heard. I don’t want this for my daughter's and granddaughters. Thank you, ladies, for everything you do. I wish three years ago I said I had hot flushes as I've had three years of living hell.”

“I have always achieved in my career and was in my assessment quite successful in my 40's working in Human Resources, leading a service in a large organisation. This was rare as a black woman at that time in the 90's. After a period of time, I found the workplace very stressful and it started to affect my physical health. So, I subsequently moved to a less demanding role in my 50's. I worked with another woman who was also in her 50's. We were vocal women and our voices (opinions, suggestions) were not welcomed. In addition, 2 of our male colleagues (one was the line manager) negatively targeted us for attention.

One evening leaving work I was approached by one of the men - I lost my temper and Ioudly told him to leave me alone! He later took out a grievance complaint against me. It was humiliating to be in such a situation at this age and stage in my career. I had never throughout my whole working life been in such a situation. I defended the complaint made against me. But ended up with a warning being placed on my work record for my outburst. In hindsight I now recognise that I was experiencing mood swings from going through the menopause. I did not identify the menopause as part of my response to the complaint against me. I experienced the HR Director (a much younger woman) who chaired the grievance complaint as having a pre- determined decision to give me a warning and had little awareness of the underlying issues - an older black woman, with a long unblemished work record - going through the menopause, being targeted and scapegoated by two men in the organisation.

I eventually chose to leave the organisation at the conclusion of the grievance complaint. I felt I held onto my dignity by making that choice. And I still now feel annoyed that that was the only option I felt I had due to the lack of support / knowledge about the menopause, other issues from within the organisation. Thank you for raising the profile of the menopause in women’s lives and in the workplace. At last, I feel that raising awareness of the menopause and its many symptoms will hopefully avoid other women going through a similar experience.”

“I started having symptoms in my early 40’s mostly hot flushes at first, and then some dizziness and tiredness/lethargy creeping in. I had been reading up on perimenopause and menopause to get an idea of what would be some of the symptoms and thought this was what I was starting with. Little did I know that it was going to get a lot worse. At 47 I had been experiencing sheer exhaustion so much that just walking up the stairs was an effort and I had to sit down for a bit to recover, this was a type of tiredness that I’d never experienced before and not like any tiredness I would have from exercising which was more exhilarating. A colleague in work had mentioned that they had been the same and was having HRT, it made me think and I thought I’d give it a go. Initially it helped and for a couple of years I felt ok. Until later in 2019 and I noticed other things start to happen, memory loss, brain fog, stringing a sentence together ant not making sense, feeling like my brain was slowing down. This went on for a while and got worse with anxiety coming to the fore and talking over. I was failing quality audits in work, the pressure kept on and in September 2020 I had a break down, I had no idea that there were options to change HRT or try different doses, which I know now with all the information that’s being put out and is greatly helpful. I’ve changed HRT this year but it’s still a process getting it right. I started on Oestrogel but had to change due to the stock issues with it. I have had to recently step down from my role in work as well as I’m still not able to perform at the level needed, I’ve worked in the NHS for 30 years. So the balance continues and I try to keep my chin up and work through this.”

“I listen avidly to stories of the menopause. I do not fit in to any group. I am 75 and have been on HRT for over 20 years. I had a wonderful GP when I lived in Surrey. Moving to the East, in the last eight years I have had such a battle trying to obtain my HRT. The GP I have now, knows little about menopause or HRT, even though she is listed as the GP for women’s issues. Because of the never-ending battle every 3 months to obtain my HRT, when the surgery pharmacy sent me the wrong patches, I used them. These caused a bleed. When I telephoned to complain, the GP insisted I had a hospital appointment, for a scan. I had a biopsy, a most ghastly experience in the hospital day unit. I was then sent a letter saying I had pre-Cancer cells, this was such a shock, a week later I was sent another letter saying I did not have cancer. So, it goes on. To avoid any contact with any of these clinical people I tried for 9 months to survive without HRT. By the end of this time, I was suicidal, I was frightened I would actually take my life, I had plans in place. I then wrote to the GP saying I wanted to continue with HRT. I had to see a gynaecologist privately, he wrote to my GP. I feel completely abandoned by the NHS. I am back on HRT feeling much better. I feel exhausted just writing this, the anger is all consuming.”

“I will keep this very short - Nobody will tell you to check your ferritin levels when you reach a certain age. There will be no letters from the NHS saying please come in for a blood test to ensure you don't get problems during menopause. Nobody will tell you what your ferritin levels *should* be. After hours of searching on the internet I now know what I wish I knew before. The NHS thinks a level of 30 ug/L is ok That’s’ why I lost half my hair - and the GP said go find a trichologist. He still didn't tell me what my ferritin levels should be. So please - educate daughters, everybody - you need to prepare your body *beforehand*.”

“After receiving treatment in 2010 for Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma I resumed to my cycle in 2012 but in 2019 I crumbled. I suddenly began experiencing anxiety attacks that would stop me from getting to work. Weight gain to over 100kgs and so exhausted alongside severe hot sweats and insomnia.

My Dr made me fill out a quiz and diagnosed with Indigenous depression. Despite my questions about my treatment it is was brushed off. After struggling for nearly 6 months, I started to google about premature menopause after RCHOP chemotherapy and immediately knew this was hormonal. I fought for weeks and finally got an alternative Dr to test my FSH levels.

It's been a journey trialling numerous HRT combinations, and I can only thank my specialist Nurse for keeping me stable and present.”

“My story is not about me, it’s about the women I work with. I work as a relationship counsellor for Adults with Learning disabilities! Some of the women I work with tell me how they are feeling, which is clearly related to the menopause! However, they don’t seem to know or understand what is going on. Their support staff will say they are being difficult or have challenging behaviour! Sad to hear that, when clearly that’s not the case.”

“Hi everyone, I am now 49yrs old, I suffer with chronic migraine and have done since I was 20. What I now recognise as peri-menopause symptoms started around 43, I literally could not keep warm, I went to my Drs as I was feeling very tired all the time. They did a blood test and found that my Iron level was through the floor, I was given tablets to try and increase it but it didn't work, a couple of years passed with many many blood tests that then showed Zinc deficiency, Iron deficiency anaemia, Vitamin D deficiency. My GPs were totally baffled by what was causing any of these.

I had every test under the sun, x3 Endoscopy and colonoscopy, several specialists one of who diagnosed Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, I really knew this wasn't what was wrong with me but the GP and I (my GPs practice are fabulous) didn't know what was wrong, we came to the conclusion that I had an auto immune problem.

After all those tests I eventually got Iron infusions which helped a little but not really the change you would have hoped. This takes me to being 45/46 at this point I went through a very upsetting breakup and was crying all the time, I just couldn't stop crying it was really unlike me, the previous 12 months I had days where I just felt so down for no apparent reason. I suffer from Migraine and therefore get migraine hangover also PMT is relevant. I carried on with no idea what was going on at that time (if only I had known that it was peri-menopause then next three years my migraine just got worse and worse, one would end and I was recovering and another would start! I got to the point where they were every 5-7days, as you can imagine my brain fog was constant along with suffering with cognition issues (both of these things happen with Migraine) I worked for myself, I had done for years and this is quite fortunate for me that I was. I have no idea if I could have coped with how ill I was and still worked.

Other symptoms were anxiety (I have never been overly anxious, driving anxiety (I love driving and have gone all over the country most of my life), and a lot of weight gain. When I was 43 I started to exercise more and more but by the time I got to 47 I couldn’t do it anymore I literally had no energy or motivation, so I piled on 4 stone, increased urination, cold all the time, low mood, sadness. In the last 3 yrs we sadly had a global pandemic that stopped everything but not my peri- menopause symptoms and Migraines.

I have worked from home for years so that didn’t change but my Migraine just got worse and worse, I decided to speak to my GP about this and we tried preventative medicine, sadly this didn’t work and gave me another problem to deal with (stomach pain) so we reverted back to Rizatriptan and paracetamol. The last 12 months 2021/2022 some of the early symptoms are less but I have new ones like thinning hair, hair growth on my chin, my periods have gone to every 3 weeks, aches, fatigue, low motivation, I started to do a lot of research online about trying to control my migraine and peri-menopause came up as a factor, I did some research on that and started listening to the “Headsup” podcast (which is amazing) I did more and more research and started to understand that HRT would 100% help with a lot of things, so I contacted my GP and got what I needed. Estrogen and Progesterone separate not combined as that is contra indicated for Migraine, I am on the waiting list for a referral to get Testosterone, in this time both of Davina McCall’s C4 programmes came out which again was really really helpful, I have only just started the HRT and I am hoping to get my energy back then I can exercise more and feel better. Sadly, not once was Peri-menopause even on anyone’s mind, given the I have seen several specialists, my GP board met to discuss what was wrong, there really does need to be more education and understanding, this is terrible for women to go through. I hope this helps someone suffering to recognise and get the help they need. It’s worth noting, I am 100% teetotal (I always have been) I don’t drink tea or coffee, I don’t take drugs, I have never smoked so none of these are factors that can make symptoms worse for both Migraine and Peri-menopause.”

“I'm 54. I sobbed to my doctor 6 years ago that I couldn't cope and she offered me antidepressants. I said I wasn't depressed I was menopausal. At the time she wouldn't prescribe HRT because I have a history of migraine with aura which is linked to strokes. I have coped for 6 years with exhaustion, 20+ intense hot flushes a day, a heart attack, brain fog and sleep problems - all while running my own business. I watched Davina's programme and went back to the GP. She said I could now have HRT as it was safer. Why had nobody told me? I now have no hot flushes and feel fantastic. I'm ready to live my life instead of dragging myself through each day.”

“I am 65. Regular periods stopped around 50. I was under a lot of stress around that time but didn't put my symptoms down to menopause. Age 55 I experienced some bleeding again and after a biopsy on a polyp that was removed, it confirmed I had womb cancer. Fortunately for me I was in for a total hysterectomy within 2 weeks and no further treatment as it was stage 1 cancer.

I asked the consultant after my operation if I would need to now start on HRT and was told no, just take vitamin E. How I wish there had been more information about the long-term effects. The last 5 years I have been suffering with so many aches and pains, low mood, lethargic, anxiety, bladder problems, disturbed sleep. I was putting all this down to my age but after reading more from so many lovely ladies who are making their voices heard I finally spoke to my GP and was started on HRT last year.

I feel so angry that I had been left with such bad advice after my hysterectomy and hope it is not too late to regain more of who I once was!

Thank you to all those wonderful women standing up and making a difference for us all.”

“Urine infections- increased year on year until I had 8 in 1 year and ended up having intravenous antibiotics. Saw 16 different health professionals from urologist to gynaecologists, lots of tests, hours spent in A&E due to the bleeding and no one ever mentioned it could be menopause related.

Spoke with a private Menopause Specialist nurse who advised me all I needed was Vagifem. GP prescribed it and not had 1 since. Which is great, however I am now allergic to 2 antibiotics as I was given so much of them.”

“My symptoms started around the age of 40 with an explosion of mental issues. Extreme panic, anxiety and depression so severe that at times I no longer wanted to be around. Constantly back and to at the GP, I was given beta blockers and anti-depressants which made me feel terrible, but I persevered because I was so desperate.

Prior to all this, I was at the top of my game with my career having won a National award for my work achievements. Then I became a quivering wreck, struggling to get out of bed every day, crying at the fear of how I would get through that day. Suicidal at times at the thought of this being my life now, sapped of joy, enthusiasm and motivation.

I kept telling my GP I thought it was hormonal only to be fobbed off with “you’re too young” and “HRT won’t help with things like that.”

Fast forward 10 years and after much research I decided to go private. Something I couldn’t afford really but I was desperate and determined to change things. 5 months later the improvement has been incredible. After having bloods checked, it showed extremely low oestrogen and testosterone, which are now both being replaced with HRT.

I feel so angry that I lost 13 years of my life to debilitating symptoms which could have been treated if not for the lack of knowledge of several GPs. Every practice should offer even one professional who specializes in Menopause related issues. To think that many women are suffering without the option of paying privately is disgusting! This is why we have to keep the momentum going and get ourselves heard, in the hope it will bring around a much-needed positive change.”

“My periods stopped at 48. I had 5 years of the run up to my periods stopping of UTI’s every few months, carried on with all the symptoms, just got on with thinking this has got to stop at some point. 15 months ago, I developed chronic eczema on my body and especially on my hands, it has been the most painful and debilitating condition I have ever had, from washing myself, to cooking and cleaning, I work with my hands.

I was 51 when I developed chronic eczema never suffering before, in the back of my mind I realised it's something to do with the menopause, all the skin on my hands were split, infected, swollen and bleeding you go on a continuous cycle of steroids, antibiotics, antibiotic cream and ointments and washes from the Dr’s. I reached my breaking point last month, I managed to get a face-to-face appointment with my Dr, I haven’t seen him face to face for over a year. I now know my chronic eczema is caused by lack of Estrogen and he prescribed me 3 months’ supply of HRT patches. I’ve only been wearing them a couple of weeks but my skin is starting to heal, it’s actually been life changing, the eczema was starting to affect my mood as I could see no end to it.”

“My GP would not give me a blood test or assist me in sourcing HRT (or any meno meds) so I went to Louise Newson (2018 at 47) and have been on HRT, testosterone, progesterone and a natural sleep assister (Serenity from Emma's Nutrition) since then. I now have more good than bad days thanks to someone who really listened. However, paying privately is hugely cost prohibitive. I am fortunate that I can afford it but feel the system is divisive for those who can't.”

“I had run out of HRT medication after being on it for five years. My GP's surgery was closed for staff training so I had to call 111. The operator refused to give me an emergency repeat prescription and the oncall doctor later wouldn't authorise one either. Their reaction frightened me so much I decided to stop taking it straight away. I then descended into a painful hell. When I saw my GP, some weeks later, he dismissed my concerns, prescribed me anti-anxiety medication and told me to stop ruminating. I was in so much distress but I was labelled as a "challenging patient'. I felt every subsequent doctor was influenced by this label and that prevented them doing proper investigations.
I survived the ordeal and only now, after five years, is the NHS finally listening to my concerns. I just don't want what happened to me to happen to anyone else.”

“I am 66, I would say that I have been suffering with menopausal symptoms for at least 16 years. I started having really heavy periods, and by heavy, I mean afraid to go anywhere because of ‘accidents.’ I had a d and c which helped for a while. I then found out I was severely anaemic and was on iron for a while. I was extremely moody, angry, violent, throwing things, my children tell me now that I was a different person. I eventually went to the Dr’s when my mood was so low, I didn’t want to leave the house. A nurse friend said I was probably menopausal and to go to go and ask about HRT. My daughter was due to get married and I wanted to be happy and enjoy the day.

So, when the Dr said I needed anti-depressants and not HRT I went for it. They took a while to kick in, my daughter’s wedding was a blur. The night sweats, hot flushes, palpitations, muscle aches etc were just some of the “normal “symptoms I learned to live with. Work suffered, sex life suffered, due to tiredness and low self-esteem.

These symptoms eventually passed, they have been replaced with post-menopausal symptoms, i.e. bleeding because of dryness, severe itching, and obviously still no sex life. I went back to the Dr to get advice as menopause had become a buzz word, everywhere you turned it was talked about.

So, I asked about HRT once again and was told ‘that ship has sailed.’ I came off anti-depressants off my own accord after taking them for several years. I don’t think I will feel ‘normal’ again. I also worry about the high risk of osteoporosis, heart problems and dementia. I hate complaining because I know people suffer much worse things, but I have two daughters who will go through menopause and I don’t want them to suffer as I did. Fortunately, menopause is now talked about, but too late for thousands of women who suffered in silence. I had a friend who took her own life, I am convinced she was severely affected by menopause/ depression but couldn’t talk to anyone at a time when menopause wasn’t discussed and women just ‘got on with it.’ Let’s pray this has changed for good.”

“In 1986 I had a hysterectomy aged 29. I was put on HRT a few months later as the ovary I was left with didn’t work and I had severe menopause symptoms. I never had any problems with HRT, when I reached 60 I was told by a Dr at my practice that I had to come off HRT as I was “A ticking time bomb” I asked not to be taken off HRT and the Dr said “that wasn’t a choice” . He said I will lower the dose “after all we don’t want to wipe the smile off your face in one go” I was taken off HRT 3 months later.

I suffered horribly with night sweating, hot flushes, palpitations, anxiety, low mood, joint pain in my hands and wrists and I thought I had dementia. My life was devastated so much I had to give up my job as I had no fight left in me to help all the elderly people I supported. I saw a female Dr and after having tests for Arthritis and nothing was found I again said that it was the menopause that was the problem and her answer was “I would of thought you would be over that now” and dismissed it. She said I could have antidepressants and that was it. I did not want or need them so I have carried on. I feel like an old woman, I still have sweats and flushes and pain and I haven’t slept through the night since. I feel completely devoid of any sexual feelings and my marriage has suffered. I am trying again to get some help after watching Davina McCall’s programme and finding out about your group. Thank you all for fighting for people like me and good luck Susan!”

“I was one of the unlucky one's- early perimenopause. 3 generations on mother's side of family been have hot flashes, anger, tears and anxiety since early 30's, now I’m 43.

It has taken a lot of hitting barriers as I kept telling the GP surgery it won't show on blood tests, please look at NICE guidelines (they said you’re depressed, too young) NO I am not. I was close to breaking down, the final straw came when lashed out at a loved one.

Then I was blessed to come across the lovely Louise Newson whom I explained symptoms to and was advised I was peri/meno and to keep on at GP. After 20 times, finally a lovely nurse told me the GP had someone that specialises in menopause. I had kept a list of symptoms etc...and saw this lady GP at first opportunity and finally it was like a feature firework display! Someone listened, didn't belittle me or disbelieve me and put on an HRT plan.

I could understand if the GP I saw first time was male but you would think a female GP would look deeper into it than just bloods and "you’re not old enough."

Thank you Louise Newson #menopausematters for steering me in the right direction.”

“I kept having palpitations. Not one GP or consultant added up the dots to conclude it might be related to menopause. Hot flushes are so unbearable if I don’t have access to my HRT my life is literally unbearable. 11 years on HRT. It’s a life saver.”

“Hi. I really want to tell my story. HRT was amazing for me. When I was 50 I was suffering from aching joints, headaches, insomnia, and was feeling really low the whole time. Also my husband was worried about me. I saw Mariella Frostrup’s programme about menopause and wondered whether it might be that because I knew I was definitely the right age. So, I went to see my GP and said that I thought I might be menopausal. She agreed and asked whether I’d like to start on HRT, which I wasn’t sure about because of all the breast cancer stories that you hear, but she reassured me. Within a couple of weeks, the symptoms had all gone away and I felt back to normal again.”

“10 years ago at age 40 my anti-depressants stopped working. I went to the coast for a walk with my family to try to lift my spirits; because that would always work in the past if I was feeling tired and low; but I just felt flat. I remember sitting on a bench and feeling exhausted and telling my family I would wait for them as they wanted to walk further; and I felt sadness and panic that my tablets and fresh air that had always helped me; weren’t working for my depression.

Later on in the summer we went to France and I kept feeling like the usual joy I felt on my holidays was lower than normal. I kept thinking that the country wasn’t as hot as our last holiday abroad; or my second glass of lager wasn’t lifting my spirits in the usual way because the type of holiday was more sedate than the party atmosphere of the Spanish islands.

I spent a summer going on trips out with my tween girls, thinking the lack of motivation and energy I felt was just the unusually extended greyness of the summer here in 2012. It was only in September when my period that had been so regular for years came 4 days early, that I wondered if it was hormonal and came across stuff online about menopause. I bumped into my child’s friend’s mum who on a particularly anxious super market shop, when we got chatting, told her about how tired I was; and as she was older and lovely (thought she might be going through same) I brought up my periods and exhaustion and she recommended agnus castus; which made my periods go back to every 28 days and stopped my depression for 18 months.

All I can think is that my hormones had shifted again; the agnus castus had worked temporarily but not on the awful pains I would get in my legs if I tried to move after sitting down for a while, or the sensitive bladder I had developed. I then tried Maca which amazingly plumped up my shrivelled lady’s bits; that had shockingly happened in my early forties when the agnus castus stopped working.

That was an awful time; I remember thinking my sex drive had disappeared and my husband would leave me; even though he is a lovely man; I was just having such dark paranoid thoughts. I would feel like I didn’t want to touch him in case it led to him thinking I wanted sex.

After another 18 months the maca stopped working and I went to the doctors to ask for  HRT; but was told by a male doctor I was too young; even after saying my mum had been just 4 years older than me when she finished her periods. He just repeated that he still thought I was too young. I went to a lovely lady doctor who gave me the pill; but I gave up with that because it made me feel so swollen and uncomfortable. I tried two lots of the coil, but it fell out both times, so had to eventually try the HRT patch, which only made me feel swollen very occasionally. I think transdermal HRT has less side effects than the pill.

I have been dealing with incredibly heavy periods throughout my forties and was borderline anaemic so had iron tablets. Once my iron was ok, I still felt brain fogged and weary a lot of the time; and have not been able to exercise a lot as my muscles can seize up really quickly when walking; so, I just live this kind of half-life of not working, not being able to do the degree I always wanted to do because my brain is so foggy, I can’t even follow a recipe. I am grateful for my amazing girls and my husband as I have felt that for 10 years, I have had chronic fatigue, but because of its stigma and my doctor not always being the easiest to talk to, although very helpful at times; I have limited what I tell her; and I continue to rely on my husband’s wage to live. I have lost touch with friends and to a certain extent extended family as they have blanked me when I have mentioned feeling ill. They think I am avoiding them when often I just don’t have any energy to spend time with my younger nieces and nephew. Nobody wants an exhausted aunt around.

So, the HRT takes the edge off my symptoms and allows me to manage a very limited existence, but I think if I could ask and was given testosterone that it would help. I am afraid to bring it up with my doctor though because I am fearful that pushing too much will make her reconsider taking me off the HRT I am on. I am grateful to Carolyn Harris MP and Davina for keeping on pushing so that people like me who feel low in confidence and motivation might one day get the testosterone I think some of us need. I’m afraid it might take my entire 50s until testosterone is available to women in menopause.

I wish all doctors and MP’s would watch the doctor who works with Louise Newson’s video about testosterone, and how in around three quarters of menopausal women it’s too low. She says she thinks the women who cope with menopause better are the quarter who have higher testosterone at this age; so they will have more energy to exercise and manage their symptoms in peri menopause. I’m not saying the last 10 years have been awful as being ill has given me time to be with my girls and listen to them as teenagers; and also being unable to often leave the sofa has meant I have been there for them, and understood more their struggles with ill health. I am now afraid that part of me has changed so much that being more like who I used to be; (an energetic sexually active wife) is so far from who I am now that it seems scary. Part of me also feels bad for my husband that our sex life has been non-existent and he’s had to get used to that over the years; it doesn’t seem fair to suddenly change back to who I was 10 years ago.”

“August 2021-Mirena & Estrogel. Unfortunately, I’ve been struggling since Feb, couldn't get Dr’s appt only phone consult & that was maybe 3 weeks away etc. And even worse I'd say the last 6-8weeks…with anxiety, peri symptoms, I’m all over place, then with med shortages and having to change them a few times really didn't help. No interest in work, or anything. My partner, I’ve even managed to push him away completely. I got to my Dr’s appt 2 weeks ago she said I was in a heightened state of anxiety and she gave me a medical certificate. I'm not in work as I just don't feel I can retain any information. I can't do my job! With shortages I was changed from Estrogel then Lenzetto, this brought back peri symptoms. Due to shortages, I’ve only been given 1 bottle/spray & now on divigel sachets for 2 weeks... will I ever get myself back?”

“Hi, this is such a brilliant thing you're doing! My story is a cracker - not terrible like so many, but a very good indication of where GPs are with the menopause.

I'm 48, didn't feel I was anywhere near the menopause as I don't have hot flushes etc. But my mum, in her menopause, lost HALF her blood before it was decided she needed an emergency hysterectomy. She was very ill, and died at 50 from pneumonia. I had an endometrial ablation in my early 40s to put an end to what was clearly hereditary heavy blood loss and to not have the same extreme experience as my mother. At the time it was not mentioned to me that my bones may well have been impacted/compromised by nearly 30 years of heavy bleeding and anaemia. And for the record - I now think the ablation is the best kept secret! Big life change for the better.

In recent years I have had two frozen shoulders, the second leading to me being signed off work. Having heard frozen shoulders can be hormone related - in Japan it is called 'fifties shoulder' - I requested a blood test to check my hormone levels. My GP said that they are 'symptom led', and don't seek to recognise the menopause through blood tests. I insisted and they did the blood test. I then received a text saying my blood test results were 'normal'. Oh good I thought, not menopausal yet, my joint difficulties can't be related to the menopause. Then a friend, who has a private practice kindly said she wanted to see my blood test results (her instinct is amazing). I requested them from my surgery, she looked at them and informed me that I'm full-blown menopausal - with a very high FSH level. Baffled, I went back to my surgery and asked about my results and queried how they could be 'normal'. I was told - wait for it - "They are normal for a menopausal woman!!!”

I then spoke with a wonderful nurse who apologised for the male doctor's declaration that my results were 'normal' and put me on HRT. I then, again at the suggestion of my friend, requested a bone density scan. I had to fight for it - my GP surgery had told me I didn't quite fulfil the criteria for the scan. I had the scan (feeling I was making a fuss, but I believe my long-term health is worth making a fuss over), and surprise surprise, I have osteopenia. I am amazed that it was because of my friend - not my GP - that I now know (some of) what is happening to my body, and am taking HRT to support myself. Had I simply accepted what my GP surgery had said - no need for a blood test, no need for a scan - my bones would be quietly disintegrating, not to mention everything else. All power to the menopause revolution!”

“I had my last period in 2017. Felt ok and lived a normal healthy life. Symptoms started 2018 increasing monthly. Dizziness daily and vertigo - lower back pain - insomnia- no sex drive - loss of interest in life - depression - muscle weakness - drop foot - migraine - no quality of life.
I’ve gone from being a happy bubbly person to thinking what’s the point… Doctors won’t join the dots. Frequent nightly urination means I don’t sleep and dizziness leads to panic attacks.
Been told by doctor, give it time, I’m not menopausal and refused HRT. Nowhere else to turn…”

“Hi, I’m a nurse. A good one. A senior one. I’ve fought in my little way to be a voice for those who like me have struggled with symptoms without realising what was happening, but have in my efforts actually made myself a fool. I’m now ready to leave my job because my employers have made me feel inadequate and added to the unworthiness I already feel. I’m humiliated and embarrassed - menopause has crushed me. Or maybe I was useless before? Maybe I had a false sense of my own importance and the reality is menopause has shown me that I’m so very misguided.”

“I’m in my 50s now and have been using HRT patches for just under 2 years, previously when I sought help for the lack of sleep, brain fog terrible anxiety etc I was fobbed off or misdiagnosed. I was told my lifestyle was stressful and offered anti depressants, sleeping tablets, both of which I refused, (I was a single mum and felt I needed to be awake and alert to be a decent parent !). When I asked about HRT I was warned about the high risk of breast cancer which frightened me off. I tried over the counter remedies for the hot flushes and sleeplessness, aches and pains and through trial and error tweaked my diet and changed my exercise routine. After my sister managed to get prescribed patches in lockdown I spoke to a GP over the phone and told him about my sister and that I wanted patches too. He prescribed me exactly the same patches with few questions. It has made a huge difference, but I cannot believe that such important treatment is not free and readily available to all who need it. My experience was pretty unpleasant but nowhere near as bad as many others who I know are really struggling. Throw in the added expense of HRT, especially now when many are choosing between heating and eating, — how can we stand by and allow women to suffer like this?”

“I’m 51, and what you’re discussing feels like a faraway luxury for me to even think about going to a doctor to discuss. I tried to talk to the OBgyn, she’s supposed to specialize in menopause, I went to a few years ago. She wanted only to tell me to lose weight. I told her I do everything I can but nothing works and maybe I should take HRT. She said, they don’t help with weight loss. That was it.
I’ve had water retention in my uterus, massive bleeding and more common menopausal symptoms, mostly fatigue and depression. Which I’ve been made to feel, is just me. There’s nobody to talk to. And I put the symptoms aside, thinking I just gotta live with it.
My husband won’t pay for any HRT and without insurance, here in the US, I might as well just “forget” my menopause and just continue to deal with it on my own. At least if I die you can tell my story.”

“I turn 50 this year and I'm a singer songwriter. Two years ago I lost all my confidence and my poor body was in a mess because of the Perimenopause. I started taking HRT and my life totally turned around. I jumped out of a plane for a sponsored skydive last week, put myself in the forefront in a new music video and feel capable and alive again! So HRT matters. It changes lives.”

“I am 54 and last year in January 2021 I had to visit the GP as I was suddenly in a great deal of pain. I paid privately for a scan which showed two fibroids one very sizeable. In March 2021 I needed to have a sub-total hysterectomy plus my ovaries were removed. My surgery was on the NHS and I felt very fortunate, plus my GP surgery was initially very supportive and pro active I thought in terms of HRT. But the lack of after care following surgery and support/care in terms of the menopause has been lacking. I was in a lot of pain and I was referred to a NHS physio in August 2021 for online treatment. After a failed attempt at a phased return to work I was in such a state I started meeting the physio face to face. ( I have had to give up work). She was the person who told me I needed to be on vaginal estrogen and later I needed her help to be prescribed a vaginal moisturiser… information that I feel the GP should have given me. I was in contact with the surgery regularly as I had continual UTI’s. In addition the physio recommended I see a menopause specialist in February this year 2022. With the specialist’s help I increased the number of patches. I had been on one patch since May 2021. It is only the specialist who I feel is really helpful. I have been using Lenzetto spray since 1/4/22 and without the specialist I would be on just one dose. I am actually needing to take three sprays twice a day. My estrogen levels are being monitored at the moment as they have been so low and I have just had to pay £80 plus a recorderd delivery postal charge to obtain testosterone. It is costing me a fortune in terms of consultant fees and this information should be known by at least one designated GP in a surgery. Plus testosterone should be available on the NHS. All in all it has been a nightmare and I am still trying to battle my way through. I have experienced anxiety, sleep disturbance and awful fatigue, plus I have been very weepy. I have spent time and money researching to help make an informed decision but I wish as women we didn’t need to battle at a time when we feel so vulnerable. There should be access on the NHS for all the HRT medication and we should be dealt with on a case by case basis. Access to treatment should be free and readily available to all and not dependent on your personal means or postcode.”

“I was snowballed into perimenopause following chemotherapy and radiotherapy for lymphoma at the age of 39. My hormones were only considered as part of my fertility; I was asked before treatment whether I wanted any more children - I then presumed I would be in a menopausal state after treatment - which I thought wouldn’t be a problem as my understanding was this would just mean no periods - I had never been taught or told otherwise.
Within three years after treatment I was unrecognisable to myself. I experienced an accumulation overtime into a cesspit of symptoms including anxiety, suicidal thoughts, crippling foot and joint pain, weight gain, hair loss, palpitations, UTIs, 3 metatarsal stress fractures, lethargy, erratic moods and more. At one stage I remember saying to my husband I feel as though I shouldn’t have bothered having chemo as I felt pointless, worthless and a burden to my family. The irony being chemo and radiotherapy were a doddle compared to this mental and physical hormonal state I was in, not least because of the support and understanding available to me at the time of treatment which doesn’t exist for perimenopause.
My own extensive research and new found understanding of what perimenopause and menopause actually entailed empowered me to keep going and somehow muster the energy to seek help. Unfortunately, I saw many, albeit lovely, GPs who were just too scared of the cancer back story. An NHS referral resulted in a ‘no appointments available at this time’. I paid to go privately - some reluctance to prescribe was met here also and I was told I could only be on HRT for a short time. I took the prescription and within 3 days my life started to change for the better. I was no longer crippled by joint pain in the mornings, my anxiety began to reduce and I had the energy to help myself in other ways - such as exercise. Nearly a year on, I have found another consultant privately, who has explained I fall into the POI category which would explain some persistence/return of symptoms as my HRT dosage will likely need to be increased to ‘off license’, but that my HRT is imperative for future, long term health. All of which I had read - but finding a health care practitioner with the same understanding has taken time, patience, emotional energy and money. All women going through cancer treatment should have a hormonal care plan in place - a fully informed one. Having recently moved counties, I am also now aware of the postcode lottery in terms of follow up care and being directed towards hormonal support following cancer treatment - this shouldn’t be the case.”

“I was only 34 and trying to conceive. Having just come off the pill I thought that was why my periods were erratic. At the same time, my thyroid seemed to swell up. After a biopsy and ultrasound, they found nodules on my thyroid. The thyroid had been feeding the tumour rather than my body. I was put on Thyroxine and the tumours decreased but the periods never came back. This was back in the early 80’s. I went through a lot of fertility tests but no-one linked the thyroid problems with infertility. And yes, I went through the sweats, the claustrophobia and the mood swings but didn’t know that I was going through menopause. I couldn’t have had HRT as my sister died of breast cancer. I wonder if they have more information now on the role the thyroid plays in fertility health and menopause.”

“When pregnant with my second child at the age of 38, I was told I have a large (11-12cm) fibroid, which lead to me giving birth via C section. After giving birth my periods became extremely heavy. I have always suffered with break through bleeding, spotting after sex, but since giving birth, sex was now becoming so painful, I physically couldn’t. I was always needing a wee, I would work out a toilet plan where ever I went and the thought of not having a toilet nearby sent anxiety through me, my tiredness was like being in those early weeks of pregnancy, it was unbearable.
Approx 6 months after giving birth I went to see my gynaecologist, we talked through my systems and he asked if my husband and I were considering having more children, after a fairly tricky birth with the fibroid we said probably not. This was the point where my gynaecologist told me that a potential hysterectomy would be good to stop all my ongoing symptoms and why keep my uterus if I didn’t need it anymore. It was so dismissive, like it was such an easy decision to make. We decided to try the coil as a form of contraception and have a biopsy of my uterus to see if there was anything else wrong.
After going back and forth to a couple of gynaecologists and my weeing problem getting ridiculous and debilitating, I was giving an internal examination and told I could be going incontinent, which if I was it would mean surgery.
With all these problems in place, I was told the best option was to have a hysterectomy.
In 2017, I had a sub-total hysterectomy, due to my age they decided to leave my ovaries in place. It was found during surgery that I had two very large fibroid, endometriosis and my bowel and bladder were fused together. No wonder I was it finding life hard, there was a lot going on inside of me.
I was discharged from hospital with no mention of my body going into early menopause, or any symptoms I may start to feel.
After 6 weeks I had a check, was told should I get any bleeding, progesterone could be prescribed to help me.
After a few months, I noticed I was having some sort of period still, but was suffering from hot sweats/flashes. I was told to go on the contraceptive pill and have CBT therapy.
Overtime, my moods changed, I suffered with hot sweats, lack of sleep, no libido, dry skin, brain fog, anxiety.
I was sent to hospital in 2020 as I had extreme chest pains so much that I couldn’t move, I felt like I had a continual lump in my throat, I think this was actually anxiety.
I suffered until 2021, when I paid privately to go on a bio identical therapy, which helped no end, but long term I couldn’t afford to keep up with this treatment.
I was and am now still suffering with pains in my left hand side, where my ovaries are, the pain I can only describe as like contractions. So I called my GP to say I’m in more pain than I was pre-surgery. I explained I’d be on bio identical therapy and after the seeing Davina McCall program could she provide me with HRT, finally they agreed.
If it wasn’t for your program I would have thought I was depressed, because that’s what it felt like, my anger towards my husband and kids was unacceptable, my marriage was on the rocks, I felt like giving up and then your program brought me a ray of light in a very dark tunnel.

I continue on HRT, although still in pain, I feel so much better than I did, I wish I could get on top of the fatigue, it’s crippling some days. But I’m much better on HRT than off and I don’t want my family, husband or I to suffer any longer than necessary.”

“It took me months to pluck up the courage to go to the doctor. She didn’t even make eye contact, kept typing away & actually asked me why I was crying .. but at least she wrote me out a prescription which I was grateful for. I just found it very humiliating but thankfully I found support elsewhere.”

“I’ve been on HRT for 5 years. I am 50 years old. Today I got my prescription for Estrogel together with a new prescription for Testin. I’ve been to the chemist who says they have no Estrogel for a week with a backlog of 40 prescriptions and they have no testin and suggested I ring round chemists to find somewhere that has a supply. I’ve contacted 10 chemists local to me and no one can supply. I am starting to get very concerned as I certainly cannot run out!”

“For the past decade I've suffered a myriad of symptoms, I've been to my GP countless times... I've been repeatedly offered antidepressants & anti-anxiety medication.... I put all the symptoms down to the anxiety disorder my GP diagnosed.... Until recently a friend got HRT, and was so delighted she shared her experience with me. And so I educated myself, and I went back to the GP armed with my symptoms and information from the menopause doctor’s website. My GP wouldn't listen or look at the information I had brought with me, I was told not to take medical advice from the internet . And so I went private, the private doctor was wonderful, and she would write to my GP to tell them what to prescribe. But it didn't stop there, my GP clearly did not want to give me the prescription. They stalled, then part prescribed just the oestrogen, without progesterone or testosterone.. I had to request a copy of the letter from the menopause doctor as my own GP refused to show it to me. Only when I finally got a copy of the letter myself did I manage to get the medication that I needed. HRT has changed my life, it's giving me my life back. I can think again, I'm no longer ruled by anxiety or plunged into the depths of depression. I am still however having an issue with vaginal dryness and have requested vaginal oestrogen but as yet to no end. I think I'm going to have to save up and go private to get that again. It's really shouldn't be this hard.”

“I had a hysterectomy when I was 39 yrs old. The surgeon left 1 ovary in situ to try to stave off the menopause. When I was 42 yrs old, I started with brain fog, forgetfulness, disturbed sleep, anxiety and depression. I went to my GP who gave me antidepressants and referred me to mental health services. The GP began to increase my dosage of antidepressants as I was still experiencing symptoms. I felt hopeless and suicidal. After almost 4 yrs of struggling and thinking I was going mad, my GP checked my hormone levels, which showed I was menopausal. He was reluctant to prescribe HRT and told me to try herbal remedies instead, as HRT had may side effects including cancer. I tried the herbal remedies and they did not work and my mental health began to spiral, I even took an overdose. I felt I was going mad and there was no hope for me, the only way to obtain peace was to die.

I then began to research HRT. I went back to my GP and told him I wanted to start treatment. I told him all the risks and told him I was happy to take the risk and I wanted the treatment. He was still reluctant and gave me 1 month supply and said he would review it and that I could only stay on it for 5 yrs maximum. I was placed on elleste solo and I began to feel "normal". My moods, sleeping, sweats all improved. It improved my quality of life. Then I was told by the pharmacy that my prescription could not be filled as there was a problem with the manufacturer and supply of elleste, I was told to go back to my GP for an alternative. I did this, but the alternative did not appear to work as well as elleste and I found myself suffering with the symptoms I had prior to taking elleste. I tried at least 3 others and eventually I researched which HRT had similar chemicals and absorption as elleste. I have been on zumenon for approx 2 yrs and it has alleviated some symptoms. I still suffer with anxiety and depression. I hate to think how I would be without HRT.

I believe that GPs are not trained effectively in the subject and that pharmaceutical companies don’t see any benefit in manufacturing the product as it is probably not of monetary benefit compared to the prescribing of antidepressants.
This subject should be a priority.”

“I have been suffering with menopause since I was 23yrs old … I am now 32yrs old and still suffering.

My 20’s were very difficult, being so young it was unheard of for someone my age to be going through the menopause. I suffered badly for 3/4years with out any HRT treatment with hot and cold night sweats, loss of libido, vaginal dryness, mood swings, foggy memory, insomnia, hot flushes, depression and anxiety.

I felt so alone, I felt fobbed off by my doctors and felt I couldn’t speak to my friends as they didn’t understand what I was going through, I suffered in silence.

Now at 32 I have been on HRT for approx 5yrs, I also need to take a progesterone pill and I’m on tablets for high blood pressure. The HRT has helped with the night hot and cold sweats but now I experience night terrors.

This is something in my 20’s I have always been embarrassed about so never spoken up but now I have done a lot of my own research. As well as HRT I have started taking different vitamins, magnesium, folic acid, omega 3 to help protect my bones and skin, and b12 to reduce fatigue. This is all what I have researched myself, I have had very little help or acknowledgement from my doctors.

Since turning 30 it become apparent I needed to change and think of myself, I keep myself busy with different projects around the house so I don’t sit and dwell on the fact that I’m different to any other girl my age.

I would love to be able to help any young girl suffering with this like myself.”

“I didn't know I was peri-menopausal when I went through a year of heavy bleeding month to month. A couple of years after this was resolved with a surgical procedure the hot flushes, heart palpitations, sleeplessness, migraines, brain fog, clumsiness, inability to cope really started. I spoke to my GP she mentioned HRT but said it came with risks so I kept plodding on and just took her word for it. I was struggling at work and I didn't want to socialise, life was exhausting. The final straw was ending up at A&E with my knee being stitched after another clumsy episode. I went back to the GP desperate and asked for HRT as I couldn't continue in this way. I'd discovered Dr Newson at this point so requested body identical HRT. I was put on one Estrogel pump to start with with a suggestion of increasing to two. After using the resources that Dr Newson and team provided I'm now on four pumps a day.

The difference has turned my life around and I keep asking myself why I wasn't encouraged to start this sooner when I was having the heavy bleeds. I missed at least 5 years of this treatment. When I first requested an increase in my prescription to accommodate the 4 pumps of Estrogel a month, the practice nurse told me that I should use the minimum amount each month and make my prescription last! I was a mixture of distraught at the thought of having to tolerate symptoms to make my prescription last and angry that she thought that was even an option. Thankfully the GP supported my request and increased the dose.

Now I'm in the position with so many women wondering whether I'm going to be able to get my prescription this month. The thought of going without and back to experiencing those horrendous daily symptoms is unbearable. I've reduced my dose each day to try make it last but already the joint pains, headaches and sleeplessness are coming back. My sister posted me some of her sachets so that I didn't need to limit my dose. HRT isn't a luxury it is essential for me and so many others to have in order to function day to day. We are all affected in so many ways. I've been told I need Testosterone but can't be prescribed that until it's approved. So I have to continue to suffer with the symptoms of low Testosterone, why should I? I cannot thank Dr Newson enough for educating women such as myself, she really is an ambassador for women's health.”

“.My story started 3 years ago when I was 40. My periods got so heavy that it massively affected my ability at work. As a PE teacher in a primary school, I often had to abandon classes and go home to change and my confidence was rock bottom. I spoke to my GP and over the phone she prescribed the mini pill without any discussion of the perimenopause. I naively thought I was cured. Fast track 2 years and symptoms started to creep in that I thought were due to other factors. Rage, anxiety, low mood, paranoia, tinnitus, hair loss. The list went on but thinking it was to do with lockdown I did nothing. Until my sister in law pointed me in the direction of Dr Naomi Potter and I watched and read her posts, often crying because I related to it all.
I contacted my GP immediately and they were reluctant to see me. Even though I said it was to treat the peri, they kept saying I was too young to have HRT for the menopause. They were looking at it as just THE MENOPAUSE and not the different stages. I found myself having educate them and finally after being prescribed anti depressants, my GP asked me what I wanted. I then started on Estrogel but she failed to prescribed progesterone so I had to go back and tell her I needed that too. Her words were, you can have it but watch out for the side effects. All of my appointments over the last year, unless they were for bloods, have been by email.
I instantly felt better and some symptoms went altogether but my low mood and loss of libido still lingered over me like a dark cloud. I wrote desperate emails to my GP after hearing about testosterone and it’s benefits. This was one of my lowest points as I was embarrassed and felt completely alone. Her response was there was nothing they could do apart from refer me to couples therapy!! My partner had been extremely patient but this was not his doing and I felt completely let down. Why was there this drug available to some but not all? I sent more desperate emails and eventually they referred me to a gynaecologist who prescribed the testosterone! Now my fight is actually getting the prescription as my GP still won’t prescribe it and I go back and fourth from each dr both telling me there’s nothing they can do!
All we want is to be happy, healthy and not lose ourselves along this path to our maturer years. I have now made so many changes to my lifestyle to embrace this change but I want help from the professionals too and I actually don’t think that’s too much to ask for.
It feels like we are being left on the shelf to become a former shell of ourselves and I don’t want that for me. I will keep fighting for what we need. The evidence is there, we just need the right people to listen.”

“Lenzetto shortage in the UK has meant that I have paid privately to receive a spray which will hopefully last until it is back in stock. £30 for one spray (need 2 per month).

Additionally, my existing spray has a fault and I cannot exchange it at my chemist (which my pharmacist is happy to do) due to no stock being available. As a result I’ve had a reduced dosage and the return of symptoms- my mood is very low.

This can’t go on. I read about the implementation of additional import taxation for branded generics which has reduced the incentive for production and supply of HRT to the UK - coupled with the increased demand, it looks bleak.”

“My husband has bought me some oestrogel using eBay, at 4x the cost of a prescription.”

“My name is Emma and in 2019 at the age of 29 I was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. After 6 cycles of chemotherapy I had surgery to remove the remaining mass. I also have a total hysterectomy including both ovaries which meant I went straight into surgically induced menopause. It was not explained to me AT ALL what to expect and where to find advice post surgery.
My first hot flush I thought I was having a stroke.
I contacted my oncology team and GP for help but no one would prescribe me HRT because of my previous cancer. The symptoms were horrific and in my personal opinion worse than having cancer. At lease with cancer I had sympathy and support. I did not sleep, the hot flushes felt like fire, I couldn’t remember simple things or words, the pain in my joints were so bad that my husband had to carry my upstairs at night. All of this while only being 30 years of age.
I have no children and now will not ever have a biological child so I was also grieving. I had mood swings and massive anxiety. It took 5 months to be seen by the menopause clinic who had my mass tested and proved that my cancer was not oestrogen responsive. Why couldn’t this have been done by my oncology team or GP?
I took months and many different methods of HRT and I finally found a prescription that worked for me but now there is no HRT gels available and I have to start from the beginning. Honestly I don’t know how I will be able to do it again.
Menopause strips you of you body and your mind. You are not you when you are going through menopause and it is not fair that it is just seen as something we have to put up with with very little to no support.
I also HAVE to have HRT as the risk of osteoporosis and heart disease rises with lack of oestrogen in younger menopause sufferers.”

“I'm now 70, but I was prescribed HRT early on in my perimenopausal stage due to brittle bones. Unfortunately due to some adverse research that found taking the birth control pill longer than 10 years greatly increased the risk of cancer, I was advised that this also included HRT and was strongly advised to stop taking my HRT. (I was put on a different medicine for the bone problem) I then went through withdrawal symptoms similar to the stages of the menopause with night sweats etc but feel they were probably reduced due to my having actually gone through the menopause whilst on HRT. Whilst having periods in my earlier life, I suffered badly from PMT so was prescribed Prozac. I assumed that this would disappear once my periods and HRT had been left behind. Sadly this was not the case, there is was some research on of this condition, so I stayed on prozac until fairly recently, and I am now weaning myself off them, all in one go iwa too much, symptoms returned after about a month, so I am currently taking them every other or third day. My concerns are twofold, A) can I be put back on HRT to prevent early onset of dementia etc? How long is one advised to be on HRT these days? or is it too late? If it is too late, B) My libido is non existent and has been since coming off HRT. I have an extremely dry vagina, but I do have vagifem that helps. Is there any form of HRT that could help me now?”

“I started getting symptoms at the age of 36 these were gradual and I would just dismiss them, or think it was down to endemitriosis, which was diagnosed at age 28. At 37 my mood was so low and kept going to the Drs with different symptoms. I had blood tests and was told I could be peri menopausal. However, nothing was offered to me. I saw another Dr a little while later as I started thinking I had ovarian cancer due to constant bloating irregular periods and the constant need to pee. I had more blood tests and was told I couldn’t be peri menopauseal because of my age. This left me completely confused as the other Dr told me my blood results could indicate this earlier on. I went away very confused. I am now 41 years old I have had so many blood tests been to the Drs so many times. I have been made to have a laperoscopy and a hysteroscopy all the while I have argued I know my body please give me HRT but instead of even been tried on it I have been told
I have had to have all these procedures which have all shown nothing wrong. My periods have a cycle of between 15 days and 60+ days sometimes I have two in one month sometimes none at all. I have anxiety like never in my life low mood which I refused anti depressants several times. I have had insomnia no labido, constant headaches, itchy skin, bleeding gums, amongst other symptoms but by far the worst was thinking I was going mad. I have felt like I knew more than the Drs telling them you can’t necessarily diagnose peri menopausal symptoms by blood test yet being made to have them over and over again and then the Drs left scratching their heads. I felt like a medical mystery all these symptoms yet no obvious cause. It was obvious to me and I have had to fight for years to be heard. At 41 I am now on HRT patches a few months in and my symptoms are slightly relieved yet I still feel I need testosterone. I am still struggling with fatigue and low labido infact I just have very little interest in sex with my partner. He is very supportive but he’s seen my in some terrible states from feeling suicidal to me not wanting him to touch me which makes him feel rejected. I am still some days anxious and don’t want to be around people. I am early days on treatment and hoping eventually I will be back to my old self again. There needs to be better education for Drs the government need to do more to support woman at what ever age they start to go through this, I clearly was not too young. If anything it’s worse being peri menopausal and still having periods which are irregular and very unpredictable. Testosterone needs to be available to woman we loose 3 hormones yet are only given 2 back which makes no sense. I’m telling my story because it has deeply impacted my life, and needs to be told. It’s affected my relationships my chances of work after graduating and my ability to work with all the suffering I have endured. Listen to your body it’s smarter than we are.”

“With all the negative press about menopause and hrt I wanted to share the other side, to give women hope.
I had started with all the typical symptoms at age 51 and it was my husband who suggested it may be worth a visit to the go to ask about hrt after reading and article in the news.
I made the appointment and having done lots of reading and research I prepared myself for a fight. I could not have been more wrong.
My gp was absolutely wonderful, agreed with me, prescribed hrt and gave me lots of follow up reading to do including the Balance app.
Even following the shortages of gel I was quickly changed to the spray accompanied by a phone call from the doctor to check all was ok.
I know I have been fortunate but want to let women know that help is out there. If your gp refuses then seek a 2nd opinion
Use all the resources that are available to you, there are so many help pages, groups and forums available- use them.”

“I am 47 and started HRT 6 months ago and have found my nurse practitioner helpful, I now take Sandrena and utrogestan. My initial worst symptoms were a high level of joint pain, severe headaches, flushes and not feeling like me and often feeling stressed and low. On certain days the headaches affected my ability to work as efficiently . Like many on an appointment with the Gp I was offered anti depressants which I declined. I am grateful that these symptoms listed have improved. I think of my menopause as early in terms of age as I started having flushes 5 years ago and I remember this so well as I was in the workplace at the time! I had an endometrial ablation 8 years ago for heavy painful periods. I am interested to know if there is more research on the joints/inflammation/oestrogen levels falling and stressors. I have a right frozen shoulder and 5 years ago the left was frozen and resulted in 2 steroid injections and surgery. Just had the first steroid injection on the right. This causes so much frustration and pain and I would love to see the area researched as I have no risk factor other than age and being a woman! Until I started this journey I never even knew joint pain was a symptom of the menopause nor brain fog . From watching Davinas programme last night I am fortunate that the prescribing of Hrt for me has been the smoothest part.”

“I am 51. I had a total hysterectomy 4 years ago ovaries/all removed. I suspected I was menopausal in my late 30’s and at that point was totally reliable on reading up on things on Google. My doctor did an FSH test once but that was it. I changed surgeries several years ago due to something not related to this and struck lucky as my new doctor (or at least the lady I just happened to be booked in with when I first joined), is/was very up on everything menopause related. Her and her colleague go for regular training I believe. The only thing is it’s very difficult to get in with her.
I was offered anti depressants at one point several years ago but didn’t take them as felt that wasn’t right for me.
I started low dose hrt tablets a few months after my hysterectomy. This was because I went to the doctors and asked for it. I wasn’t offered it at the hospital or doctors after my hysterectomy. It wasn’t discussed at all at the hospital. Again, it was only through Google (and through a Facebook group I had joined just before the op), that I realised I should be on HRT.
I went through different dosages to try and get on top of symptoms, they had to give me different names of tablets due to shortages a couple of years ago. I had to drive around several pharmacies to get them and have always tried to get them a little while before I need them in case I hasn’t a problem. I don’t want to be without the HRT. I went on to Evorel 50 patches in August and although I am starting to get a bit hot again and not and don’t sleep well still, I feel like a different woman. More positive, less angry and less mood swings. Also more energy.
I’m so pleased there is so much discussion about it now. It really helps. I don’t have children but I hope the next generations of women get a lot more help.
Really hoping I can get the patches when I run out in a few months. Luckily I got 6 months supply this time. It has previously been 3 months for the patches. Possibly because I am fairly new to them. I know some women only get a one month supply. That would never work for me as I am away with work a fair bit.
Looking back to maybe 5-10 years ago, I can definitely say that the fatigue, general feeling of being unwell with it, and mood swings /anger, all affected my job. I am freelance in a private aviation industry and think there have been missed opportunities where I could have had permanent jobs or regular work at some places, but just didn’t feel up to it.
I wish someone could have told me I could take HRT before the menopause. I also want to find out if I can have a combination of oestrogen and testosterone /progesterone from my doctor next time instead of oestrogen. As you can see from my writing testosterone/progesterone, I am still not sure about the options or correct wording, even after all of this time on it and reading about it!
Mum (who is 85), was on HRT tablets for a while when she was younger but didn't get on with them so I remember her always advising me against them. I had a number of gynae issues over the years, including Endometriosis quite badly in late 20’s/30’s. Female doctor dealing with that told me off the record never to go on HRT. This would have been around 15 years ago when it was, I believe, a different sort of HRT, that also got bad press generally and most of us were too worried to take it because we were worried about breast cancer or other health issues that may arise from taking it back then. That still exists a bit but not so much for me as my doctor explained a lot of stuff to me and showed me a very interesting comparison poster online that showed risks if you drink, smoked, are overweight etc.
I think it’s vital that women of my age talk about it and know more about it because our mums weren’t generally given any help, it was a taboo subject and also resulted in a lot of them even saying to this day things like “I was ok, I got by without it, what’s the big fuss about running out of HRT etc”. I am very grateful for all of these forums etc. Times are changing, and hopefully they can get this awful and unnecessary shortage situation sorted out asap too.”

“I felt embarrassed because I had hot flushes..I used to put my face in the freezer to try to not look so stupid. My confidence was totally undermined as I felt that everything I said looked like a lie. This was because I didn’t want to have a flush in a difficult circumstance so the anticipation made a flush inevitable..This really affected my working role as I did not receive any support, just laughter at my red face.”

“God, where to start.... I had a hysterectomy at 42. By about 45/6 I was having all sorts of aches, pains, not sleeping, head ache etc. Was misdiagnosed with fibro myalgia and given all sorts of pain killing drugs, antidepressants and hrt.
I left my job before I was sacked. I could not function at anything.
I knew it wasn't fibro so I weaned myself off all the meds and hrt. I didn't feel it was doing anything for me.
12 years on and I'm still struggling but I deal with it, but don't feel half as bad as I did.”

“In 2012 after our second baby was born my periods and the pain were horrendous. I saw numerous doctors , had numerous scans and checks. There were checks for abnormal cells on my cervix, I had an endoscopy and was told there was a small amount of endometriosis and it was manageable with a coil. This was in 2018 and I wasn’t convinced, so I got a second opinion to which I was told from the scans I had had my womb was on the larger side and needed removing due to endometriosis and the womb being abnormally large (something that had effected my periods since our second child ) so for 7 years I had battled and battled with professionals that this wasn’t just any normal heavy period it was horrific.
My new gynaecologist suggested removing my womb and cleaning the endometriosis- so I agreed. On the day of my surgery in March 2019 my consultant was honest and open and said if he had to remove more than my womb did I agree - I was in so much pain I consented to do what was needed.

4 and a half hours later I woke from surgery to feel padding on my lower abs, being passed morphine and told to lay still. The next morning my consultant came to see me and broke the news that I was covered in endometriosis and he had had to go abdominally to remove my womb , my ovaries, cervix and the endometriosis was on my bowel but he managed to save this. So on 6th March 2019 at 34 years old I was met with the menopause! I had no idea what was waiting for me or what to expect - with little support and no one in my age range or group of friends being able to chat with me or understand what was about to happen.

3 weeks after the surgery it started - hot flushes, low mood, itching and brain fog were the first to meet me! I tried the HRT patches but they gave me a rash so we went for oestrogel. I along with this I continued with my exercise and started to look at my diet.

This is a journey I am still travelling and at 37 years old it can be a lonely place but one day at a time! Being 34 , no more children for me naturally and the menopause hitting me alike a ton of bricks from surgery it’s been a challenge, the hardest part for me is the anxiety, brain fog and weight gain (I exercise 6 days a week but I my body has changed so much!)

I would love for HRT to be more readily available, have face time face forums or tours from menopause doctors that give us vital information and share my surgery of surgically induced menopause with other women. You’re not wrong to question and your not wrong to ask for second opinions.”

“I retired from the NHS as a specialist nurse because of my god awful menopause symptoms. I received no help from my managers or even empathy. My matron told me "it's only the menopause". One of my many symptoms was brain fog and my manager put me on a disciplinary action route. This was humiliating after a 20 year exemplary nursing career. I was on HRT but I now know it wasn't the correct dose. I had originally intended to work until my State Pension started so that I could save for my retirement. I had to retire early aged 59 as I simply couldn't cope anymore. So I retired and lived in poverty for four years. I had so little money I bought no new underwear until I got my SP. I even stole toilet paper from cafes to make ends meet. I'm still angry about this and I've been retired ten years. I am also so pleased that you and others are pressurising the government and employees to finally acknowledge how fucking awful the menopause can be. Thanks for letting me vent x”

“I saw a female GP at my surgery who printed an A4 paper with info whilst having a chat. This whole thing took 10 mins at most. I sorted myself out with research. Years later I saw my medical records. The entry said we had a ‘long chat’!”

“I was feeling so alone and a waste of space - not quite suicidal but could sympathise with people who did feel that way.”

“Just turned 61, and when I presented myself to my doctor who is female, at the age of 52 with altered mood low libido and night sweats, I was told that HRT wasn't for me. I accepted this advice as I thought the doctor knew best and was denying it for health reasons. I carried on with the uncomfort of menopause but feel angry now how little advice/support I was given. I know presume at 61 that I don’t even qualify for HRT!!!!!”

“I started feeling out of control, not coping with life at all and breaking down in tears all the time, forgetting the simplest things that were previously easy, i had worked hard in my career in HR and raising my son and suddenly i just couldnt cope. I was also having horrendous heavy periods and had often had to go home during work to shower and change. I saw my gp who told me i was depressed and prescribed anti depressants but i told him i didnt want them. Fast forward a couple of years and many appointments later and i was also having blood tests every 3 months for underactive thyroid (my levels werent low enough so no medication until they were) i remember a particular male gp, who was really nice, and when he told me i was also peri menopausal and it was something i just had to get through and i broke down in tears as he said i could try over the counter remedies as they don't recommend hrt, and to expect other symptoms such as a dry vagina, i looked at him through the snot and tears and said "well thank you very much and i left" despondent. My next appointment for blood tests i saw a wonderful gp who immediately referred me to endocrinology and i started on the thyroid treatment journey (another type of very similar hell) and found out i also had hashimoto thyroditis. Probably a couple of years later i had taken redundancy at work which was timed perfectly as i just wasnt coping at all. I went for a walk along the river and i had seen a new podcast from the menopause doctor so started to listen, the very first one and dr newson was describing a patient who was a professional successful women with a family who found she couldnt cope with life, i remember throwing my arms in the air with a "wow" and saying "this is me"! Blew my mind and i proceeded to check out her website as this was prior to the balance app, and once i was fully armed i called my new gp surgery as i had moved, i asked for an appointment with a menopause doctor or one that specialises in female health, this was made very easily and when the appointment came and i sat down opposite her, i calmly informed her i had been suffering for around 8 years with peri menopausal symptoms, had done my research on dr newsons website I wanted to be prescribed HRT as i was struggling to cope, i was calm, composed and determined because i was empowered with the right information and she immediately started the process of prescribing it. I breathed a huge sigh of relief just because I felt i was seen and heard, a few months followed where the tablets just didnt work for me and made me nauseous and headaches and i was then given the mirena coil and patches! Hallelujah
Then came the shortages of hrt and the nail biting anxiety when dreading collecting my prescription and the numberous times they had run out. I have wept in the chemist in dispair on numerous occasions and refused to leave until they told me what was available and liased with my gp to get replacements. I know it wasnt the fault of the pharmacist but my local one just treated me like i was an irritant and were so rude i asked my gp to send them elsewhere, and now i collect them from another pharmacy who are really very nice.
I have wept talking to doctors receptionists when trying to chase my gp for replacement hrt when they have ran out. It makes me so angry that its allowed and expected that women just need to go through it, and replacing the depleted hormones can make such a massive difference in your health and quality of life, the number of women over 50 who reduce their working hours or stop working is unfathomable to me. I also appreciate we are the first generation of women who openly talk about menopause as it has previously been pushed under the carpet as a taboo subject, i have older friends who recoil if the subject comes up as they are embarrassed, this is awful.”

“I see lots of discussions about HRT up to the age of 60, what are we supposed to do after this age? I am 64 and the symptoms only started 3 years ago, I have been really lonely, depressed and nowhere to turn; I was prescribed the HRT patches but I am scared to use them as there is not consistent information, for example the prescribing information says that there risk of thrombosis etc; which’s scary. I would like to see more to support women over 60 as the symptoms can go a long time after that age. Thank you.”

“I am 43 years old and believe I am suffering many perimenopause symptoms. I have severe shortness of breath but not asthma, I have extreme joint pain, itchy feet, insomnia, migraines, brain fog, lack of sex drive and now irregular periods and feel like I could just sit and cry. I have now seen 3 doctors all of whom have dismissed what I say as I seem too young, I have explained my mother was a similar age when she started with symptoms and whilst acknowledging that this did have a bearing it was still unlikely that this is what my symptoms were. I have been prescribed an anti depressant for my migraines. I don't know what do now as I don't have the energy to keep arguing the point and I can't face being dismissed again. It is affecting my whole life and it feels like no-one cares.”

“At 41 (I'm now 46) I noticed issues with brain fog, hot flushes, drastic mood swings. Dr did blood tests said I should take the pill. I didn't because I knew 1. I had fertility issues, 2 I'd taken it since 16 for acne then later as contraception until mid 30s. Couple of years on, struggling with chronic depression and anxiety, no energy, still hot flushes etc too. Put on anti depressants. Stated on for 6 months, gained over a stone which made things even worse. Weaned myself off and focused on exercise which helped but still struggled in my day job (teacher) with memory/ organisation issues, lack of energy/ motivation in a job I LOVE, hot flushes, and insomnia. Returned to drs May 20, had blood tests and was sent for scan as I had very intermittent periods and random bleeding. Scan showed possible lump on kidney, so then menopause issues ignored to investigate that. After MRI showed nothing, it looks like scans got mixed up... anyway, called drs to follow up and finally spoke to a female GP who agreed to put me on HRT straight away. Oestrogel and progesterone days 15-26. It was like magic, energy levels up, mood just balanced out, felt like me again ... and after my first bottle was nearly ending, the nation ran out. I had two weeks of no treatment at all. DR kept saying no issue with oestrogel, just wait for it. Finally put me on sandrena as alternative. It's OK but nowhere near as good. Mood swings are back, energy low, brain fog. Sleeping OK when I take progesterone and skin lovely on those days. Not had any follow up with GP, not sure if I'm supposed to. Feel kind of abandoned to get on with it now. Just want to feel like a fully functioning human again.”

“I started to feel ‘different’ at 39, initially having hot flushes when drying my hair & needing to open a window. This escalated to flushes during the night, more headaches than normal & a sadness I’d not felt before. I saw my GP, mentioned my mum had an early menopause but was told there was no ‘test’ & to diagnose. I was given HRT for 6 months but when I returned I wasn’t sure if they’d helped & was taken off them.
Over the next year my symptoms gradually escalated, my sex drive diminished & at this time my marriage suffered. I was unhappy, maybe more so because of the sadness I’d felt for a year, my husband withdrew, I think his ego was also flattered by another & we eventually separated a year later then divorced.
In just 2 years my whole world had turned upside down. I saw my GP again, & was prescribed anti-depressants for my low mood. I asked about blood tests, HRT again but was told as I was 41 it was unlikely I was going through the menopause & HRT would be more detrimental than beneficial.
I started to suffer with neck pain at about 42, now believing my bones were being affected. I pushed for treatment, received a short course of physio & requested a MRI, which I received at 44. It showed moderate arthritis, not ‘normal’ for 44.
I’d also suffered with vaginal dryness & after seeing 4 different GPs prescribing various treatments over 2 years I saw one who mentioned HRT (my periods stopped aged 46)
After discussing my story she explained my body was 10 years ahead of my actual age, having gone through an early menopause from 39 & prescribed HRT aged 51.
My story is not unique however I believe had the initial GP recommended I persevered with HRT in the early years I may not be suffering as much with constant neck & shoulder pain as I do now. I struggle to dry my hair with a heavy hairdryer but manage this with Pilates & yoga.
My GP has suggested I come off HRT now (age 53) however we’re in discussion and review this every 6 months.”

“Going through peri menopause / menopause was horrendous. And years and years out of my life. Going to the doctors crying I don’t know what is wrong with me and being given anti depressants. Not aware it was menopause related. Heavy periods where I would be soaked with blood in work and taking in changes of clothes. One flight from India and I felt everything come away from me. I managed to get spare clothes out my hand luggage and I was in the toilet absolutely not able to stop the bleeding from running away with me which may have been not helped by the air pressure ....... who knows, not me But was one of the worst experiences I have ever had. I didn’t know enough about symptoms to know any better. Exhaustion sleepless nights and brain fog doesn’t and the feeling of tiredness. Overwhelming tiredness.
I didn’t go on HRT as all I knew about it was it is a risk of getting breast cancer!! Well at 62 I was diagnosed with oestrogen based breast cancer. First thing they said is “did you take HRT”. No I bloody never I felt like screaming and I suffered for years and still got bloody breast cancer. I’m not sure what was worse the diagnosis or the realisation I may have suffered for nothing!!!
Well now two years later and I’m on Antrozole to take out the oestrogen - what’s left of it out of my body to reduce the risk of my breast cancer coming back. Bloody hell im going through the menopause symptoms again and at this moment in time it’s 2.46am. I have been signed off work as I was like crazy employee of the year. Changes in our ICT system was like the last tipping point to my meltdown as not enough communication together with not enough time to work it out with brain fog the inevitable happened I broke down on the phone to my doctor. I am a wreck who is trying to cover up being a wreck and cos I am trying to function for the sake of everyone I feel like my inside is screaming.
Please Davina in your quest to raise this profile also include us BC patients on tablets to take out the oestrogen and get doctors to give me and fellow sufferers the percentage of risk of reoccurrence vs no tablets and quality of life. Or maybe alternatives. Let us have the information to make informed choices. I am so please you have raised this issue and as we all live longer and our daughters will benefit from what you are doing and raising the awareness.
Ps the Julia Bradbury documentary on her breast cancer was also brill and I would like to know what research she has done on the tablets as I think she may have had the same diagnoses and be put on tablets as she mentioned this at the very end of the documentary.
You are such a star for raising this profile and also other ladies in the media who are supporting this. Let’s hope it makes the difference. Thanks you.”

“I am a partner in a large law firm, deeply experienced in what I do. My colleagues enjoy a laugh at my expense when my memory fails me and are completely oblivious to the impact perimenopause might be having, notwithstanding various awareness raising initiatives by HR. Disappointingly, this includes younger female colleagues. I worry there’s something wrong with my brain. It’s humiliating and I am seriously considering leaving the law.”

“I was becoming crippled by migraines, insomnia, emotional lability, rosacea and brain fog. I also had to start taking leave from work around my cycle as I had such heavy, painful periods I couldn’t do my job. It took a private doctor to take the time to diagnose me - I’d been told I was depressed, one even blamed the pandemic on making me stressed.
I also had young children and a terminally ill mother. I eventually got onto HRT - and am now working full time again. I had been told over and over it couldn’t be perimenopause as I was still having regular periods - including by the women’s health specialist nurse at my surgery. Despite these periods having no meaningful pattern and ranging from 3 days to 12. I was lucky to be able to go private - I expect I would still be fighting for help if not.”

“I had a total hysterectomy in 2019 and within 2 months everything fell apart the symptoms are horrendous I cannot function and I feel like I am trapped in a strangers body. The weight gain is horrific and I can’t do much exercise because of the horrible agonising pain I’m in all over it’s a terrible cycle. I started HRT a year ago but still do not feel right so I’m guessing I may need to try another maybe a patch as I’m using the gel 0.5mg but if I take more my mood takes a serious hit so I’m a bit stuck. I’ve also recently been prescribed testosterone which has helped a little so far but I know I have a long way to go. I have a supportive GP I’m very lucky but women really need much much more I have found the whole experience debilitating I think I have the majority of the symptoms on the massive symptom list. I just don’t see why women have to struggle for what should be a necessity for us all. I look in the mirror every day and wonder who that is staring back at me I honestly did not know how bad it could be so more education for everyone from certainly high school age would help.”

“I had both ovaries removed aged 49 due to endometriosis and cysts. HRT was never mentioned so I asked the consultant if I could have some. After a lot of deliberation he agreed but said I must stop taking it at age 51. This was only 2 years ago and the consultant mentioned runs a private menopause clinic. Unbelievable!”

“I started to get debilitating migraines (without aura) at the age of 38. I went to my GP. He didn’t mention anything about hormones, the menopause or HRT. He just gave me sumatriptan. Then he wanted to give me a migraine preventative (beta blockers) but I refused. I just suffered migraines for 6 years until I started HRT, prescribed by a private clinic because my GP said I was “too young” at 43yo for it to be peri-menopause. The migraines instantly stopped.

By this time, I also had brain fog, felt jet-lagged constantly, had a faint ringing in my ears often, couldn’t read or concentrate on anything, was waking up at 4am every night, covered in sweat, had no libido, had vaginal dryness and atrophy, had heart palpitations in the evenings, and had joint pain if I didn’t move for a while and especially in my hands at night, had flatulence and constipation which had caused piles and a fissure, had dry eye (diagnosed by optician) and fatigue.

What did my GP do? He referred me to a rheumatologist for the joint pain. The rheumatologist did a CCP test for rheumatoid arthritis which was negative.

I saw another GP at the same surgery. She gave me local estrogen for the vaginal symptoms but she would only offer me HRT if I had a Mirena coil fitted - because I have a history of mild endometriosis. I didn’t want a coil.

So I went to the Newson Clinic. I immediately got prescribed Estradot, utrogestan and testosterone.

I have my old self back. ALL of the symptoms have miraculously disappeared - except for the joint pain and constipation, but we are still getting the dosage right at the moment.

I will stay with private treatment now. It is expensive but I don’t trust the health service.”

“I am now 66 years old and bitterly regret not fighting harder to go onto HRT after being consistently denied it over the years.by my (male) GP. Crippling anxiety. palpitations, aching joints, flushes, loss of confidence in my job, mood swings, the lot. Too late for me now, but I am advising my daughter to get onto it as soon as she can - she's 46 and getting severe symptoms.”

“Hi I started having symptoms around 45 and didn’t know what was happening to me. After a lot of self research I thought it must be down to the perimenopause however I wasn’t sure so of course went to my doctor. After some tests for lots of potential things such as allergies vitamin deficiencies etc which showed nothing they offered me antidepressants. I felt sure that wasn’t what I needed and to cut a long story short seeker out some private medical help. Best money I have ever spent! After going on estrogen and progesterone most of my symptoms went away. Fast forward a couple of years and I am struggling again. Another trip to see a private specialist and tweak to my estrogen and some testerone has changed my life! My brain fog has practically disappeared and I feel sharp again! I truly believe the testerone has made all the difference! It’s outrageous that this isn’t something that is readily available to all women.”

“I approached my (female) GP to ask about HRT 2 years ago. I was told that if she prescribes me HRT I will be coming to her in the future asking why I have breast cancer and she will reply ‘because you had HRT’. I abandoned the idea of HRT and have suffered hideous symptoms.”

“I was having all the symptoms that I now know to be classic menopause - anxiety, hot flushes, low mood, brain fog were my main symptoms . GP did not recognise it as menopause - even though I was 51 but as I was still having the occasional period she said she could only offer me antidepressants . I did not want to go down that route so I struggled on, feeling worse and worse for 3 more years. Then I saw Davina’s documentary and felt empowered enough to go back to my GP and ask for HRT. I have been on the patches for 9 months and it has helped me so much. Thank god for Davina and all the people educating us on HRT.”

“Hi everyone. I’m a daughter and mother to two beautiful girls. I work as a nurse and am surrounded by women but was hit by the menopause completely unprepared. I was blissfully unaware of the signs of the menapause until it overwhelmed me. Sudden and extremely heavy bleeding, developing acne etc. I actually only went to the doctors when I was having such bad night sweats, migraines and and felt pain in my vagina. I thought I had cancer.
My doctor examined me and thought there was nothing at all wrong but advised if I were worried I should attend the sexual health clinic. At fifty years old I thought I must have some dormant sexually transmitted disease or cancer…… I took myself off to the clinic hoping nobody would see me and had a full and embarrassing examination to be then told it was just vaginal dryness as I was menapausal. I was then advised to go back to my gp armed with this knowledge. I now have a Mirena coil and oestrogen gel. I have the old me back. I freely talk about the mRNA pause now and hope my daughters are not met with the attitude of ‘well I got through it without help’ which I have often heard from other women. Let’s all help each other.”

“I have a list of symptoms as long as your arm. I asked my gp to test me a few years ago for diabetes, thyroid & had a 24hr heart monitor from the hospital. I've also been told I have arthritis in my hands. Im nearly 55yrs old & it has never been suggested to me that it could be the menopause. I truly felt like a hypochondriac but just knew I didn't feel well. All the recent exposure has encouraged me to see the nurse about it all. I've just got to get my BP under control & then I will be starting on patches. I am really looking forward to getting a life back & feeling well again. Thanks for all the hard work your all putting into this campaign. I can't believe how many women out there feel just like me!!”

“Hello I am 52 last year I had DCIS pre cancerous breast cells. I had a lumpectomy and cells removed it was intermediate and main lymph node removed. I had the all clear but as with all cancer tests and surgery it left me anxious.
My broker had passed away at the some time, I reached out to my doctors a male doctor replied here’s some leaflets, I asked about help for menopause I had so many debilating symptoms - he emailed me some help as in find it didn’t help.
So 2020 annual mammogram triggered health anxiety saw my female GP as she’s a women I thought she would be empathic but she isn’t.
Said take antidepressants as I have life effecting anxiety depression and panic attacks and 90% menopause symptoms - I thought I had a brain tumour mouth cancer as kind as pins and needles in hand and foot and burning mouth syndrome. I can barely leave the house.
Female GP : I said I can’t take antidepressants I’ve ibs I won’t be able to go out as upset stomach and hate antidepressants her reply was it’s short lived upset stomach. So I said I don’t want them as libido will go she replies
“ You won’t want sex anyway with your anxiety so it doesn’t matter ‘’
I then said I think all this is menopause you refuse me HRT as DCIS and it’s pre cancerous I’ve asked for help already and she simply turns round and says to me
‘’ You HAVE to find your OWN help for menopause ‘’
My story will be similar to all us poor ladies who can’t have HRT many with cancer history who are let down by dreadful doctors who don’t care and make us feel we are wasting their time.
I read how dangerous it is for those on HRT who can’t get their supplies about how they can’t live a life as menopause symptoms what about us ladies that can’t have HRT as other reasons mainly cancer ?
I need this to get out there as someone needs to help us ladies who just get told to diy help.
I can barely function atm I’ve researched loading £75 for a private menopause nurse for advice.
We need someone to stand up for us - us women who have been left to deal with this and can’t have HRT it’s bad for those who haven’t had cancer etc needing HRT can you imagine being told did your own hope after cancer and living with a cancer experience?”

“Looking back I had had symptoms for years, arching joints, fatigue, disturbed sleep, anxiety, loss of confidence.
I ended up having panic attacks and taking a demotion at work.
I had been to the doctors with various symptoms but no one mentioned that they might be peri-menopause.
During the pandemic it slowly dawned on me that everything I was experiencing were peri-menopause symptoms.
The final straw was vertigo -I started serious research, found Menopause not Mad website and made an appointment at my GP armed with all the info and prepared for being dismissed but thankfully I had an appointment with a younger female GP who was very knowledgeable and supportive, within 10 minutes I was picking up me prescription at the pharmacy.
That was nearly a year ago, I am a completely different person, I have my confidence back, brain fog gone, I sleep well, my libido is back and I feel joy.”

“Looking back I had had symptoms for years, arching joints, fatigue, disturbed sleep, anxiety, loss of confidence.
I ended up having panic attacks and taking a demotion at work.
During the pandemic it slowly dawned on me that everything I was experiencing were peri-menopause symptoms.
The final straw was vertigo -I started serious research, found Menopause not Mad website and made an appointment at my GP armed with all the info and prepared for being dismissed but thankfully I had an appointment with a younger female GP who was very knowledgeable and supportive, within 10 minutes I was picking up me prescription at the pharmacy.
That was nearly a year ago, I am a completely different person, I have my confidence back, brain fog gone, I sleep well, my libido is back and I feel joy.”

“Was told initially I was too young to be peri menopausal so was put on anti depressants, put on 2 stone in 2 months which made me feel worse…3 years later just had total hysterectomy. Was discharged with no advice or HRT, contacted doctor a month after op to be told they won’t give it to me must go back to surgeon! It took me 6 months of going backwards and forwards to finally get a prescription which once I put in was told it’s out of stock. All the time I’m tearful, not sleeping, having night sweats, losing my hair, skin has gone dry and the brain fog is soooo bad I go to bed because I cannot cope with anything or remember anything. Why is it so hard?”

“5 years ago, I went to my doctor with irregular periods, she told me to try at John's wort and evening primrose oil. I bought that for over a year, it didn't really do anything but cost me money to buy these things from Holland and Barrett.
A year later, my husband told me one day that I hadn't been myself for a while which coincided with someone at work asking if I was OK as I hadn't contributed and was quiet. I know I felt that I wasn't good enough or wouldn't contribute anything useful so I googled those feelings and kept reading about depression. I went back to the doctor who then wanted to check for vitamin d deficiency and told me menopause was a natural process. As it happens, I was vit d deficient, as are most people in the UK in winter so I got told to take vit d and I was given anti depressants to help with my hot sweats at night. I now know, all a misdiagnosis and I didn't take the anti depressants as I knew I didn't want to be on them.
A friend told me about the Newson Menopause Clinic in Stratford so I decided to book there. It's expensive so I waited until we had some money but it was the best thing I could have done. They listened, confirmed my symptoms as peri-menopausal and I started on HRT. I was unsure at first and the doctor said it was totally up to me but I tried it Anna within 2 weeks, stayed to feel better. A few months later I added testosterone to my medication and that was the icing on the cake! I've not felt this good in years and will continue to take HRT for the rest is my life. I tell all my friends to research their symptoms and look at Newsons resources I've read loads myself to be able to pass on. Education is so important and I'll be educating my daughter. I've since gone back to the doctor and discussed my misdiagnosis who, in the last two years, have trained all their doctors in the menopause though Louise Newson and I'm satisfied that a misdiagnosis now is unlikely. It's so important we get good quality Education, treatment and reducing stigma.”

“For me personally, I’ve had a good ride thanks to Davina McCall and Dr Louise Newson. When the Menopause programme was first released on TV, it was around the time my physical, mental & emotional changes started on a decline. Off the back of this programme and social media platforms I have been well prepped with information. I got the app, did all my own research and when the time came when I no longer could manage my symptoms holistically, I went armed to the DR with all my evidence & research. I was initially met with ‘you are too young’ (age 48) but I pushed and saw another DR who immediately agreed to HRT and asked me if I knew what I’d like. I had already chosen exactly what HRT I wanted, because I was educated and asked a lot of women on sites and in person. I have been on HRT for 9 weeks and I am VERY happy and got results from day one. It has changed my life to have ME back again, physically, mentally & emotionally. My only hiccup in all of this process is the stress, worry & anxiety I have everyday now in the lead up to my repeat prescription, will the supply be there for me? There is simply NO way I can go back to vomiting everyday, extreme exhaustion, memory loss, brain fog, fatigue, eating x7 meals a day due to constant hunger and zero sleep because of 15-20 hot flashes a night. The return of this life fills me with complete HORROR, not to mention losing my business, my home - without earning money I can’t pay for things like a mortgage and bills. For me, no HRT means no life, no career and losing everything I’ve worked so hard to achieve in my life thus far. No HRT = NO LIFE. With all you wonderful women driving this mandate, I’m hopeful it won’t come to that 🤞🏻💫”

“My menopause journey started about a year ago I had no idea about anything it was like a lightbulb moment I started researching information on the menopause myself and realised what my symptoms were I made a telephone appointment with a doctor she gave me a website to go on decide which treatment you want then get another telephone call I did this to say it was overwhelming was a total understatement!!! I eventually made a decision got on the treatment no problem it’s been a very bumpy journey trying several different treatments thank goodness for all the information available for us to educate ourselves and help ourselves and our families
To start with I had no issues with getting my hrt treatments but it’s got so much worse it’s so scary and stressful I dread trying to get my hrt medication it should not be like this for us it’s shocking things must change now for us all they are our hormones please do not make us all fight for them things are hard enough as it is dealing with everything we deserve better and as for testosterone it’s like a swear word!!!! It should not be this way !!!! Things must change now for us all I continue my journey feeling grateful for all the tools and information we have these days to make decisions on our own health we are all warriors but this battle should not be this hard and long change needs to happen I really really hope that it does thank you for reading”

“After being referred to a psychiatrist and psychologist I was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD). I had six months as an outpatient in a very expensive mental health clinic and was prescribed Pregabalin. I quit my high paid job as I could no longer cope. Brain Fog, Depression, Crying, Panic Attacks. I suffered no hot flushes and my periods were normal at this time (51 years old). Hormone tests came back in a very good normal range (my FSH was surprisingly low for my age). I got on with it, I had no choice. My diagnosis, my medication, my sad little life with a poorly paid job as I felt I was worthless. Then I saw the Davina McCall TV programme. I phoned my GP the next day. Explained what I though was wrong (Menopause not GAD) and she fully supported me. Now off Pregabalin (I was on it five years) and thriving on Oestrogen patches, Utrogestan and Testosterone. No brain fog, no panic attacks, no crying for no reason, no Depression, just a balanced woman looking forward to her new life with her hormones back.”

“My husband left me in 2020, for another woman. He met her in lockdown and moved straight in with her 5 months later. One of his comments was that I'd become 'much more anxious'. I'd say that was one of the primary menopause symptoms I suffered. Needless to say, the other woman is younger. We had been married for 22 years. He told me the day after our wedding anniversary that he was leaving, having denied there was anyone else for months. I wonder how he'll cope when his new partner goes through the menopause.”

“I was 28 when I started having problems with my periods. I saw so many doctors and most of them said it couldn't be the menopause as I was too young, 1 just said have a hysterectomy as this will solve my problems. They just prescribed me antidepressants to try and help with the symptoms.

It took another 5 years before it was was confirmed that I had had an early menopause. I tried so many different types of tablets and 10 years ago I had a mirena coil fitted and take elleste solo 2mg. Although this has helped with my symptoms, I do still suffer from low energy and moods so take antidepressants alongside my HRT. I'm 49 now and still feel like the doctors just palm you off rather than listen to your needs.”

“I’ve been several hrt products, now on tibolone I had started at 49 hot flushes constantly kicking off the duvet
Every night restless leg syndrome- I’m 54 now
Still on hrt very low libido- working full time but it’s stressing me out I wish I could give up or
Have a part time. Finding it hard to concentrate
Forgetfulness is really rife at the moment
I don’t talk about it with my husband as I don’t feel comfortable and it makes me feel old
Hate this menopause 🤨”

“With the benefit of hindsight and education through this and other sites such as menopause doctor, I realise I was going through peri menopause for 8 years before actually stopping my periods. In that time I had what I now know are typical symptoms such as dry itchy skin, brain fog, increased migraines and joint pain. I visited my gp with these symptoms suspecting menopause but was told I was “probably over using thyroxine”. I had a total thyroidectomy in my early 30s. I argued that I had been advised by the surgeons who treated me at that time had said when I was menopausal I should be referred back to endocrinologists. I asked for this but explicably I was referred to a rheumatologist who couldn’t understand why he was examining me but at least was able to prescribe drops for my dry eyes. Five years later and with increasing symptoms and now erratic periods I started to have hot flushes and revisited my gp who again said it was probably because my thyroxine was too high and reduced my dose. A year on and struggling with low thyroxine levels and increasing conviction I was now menopausal I returned to my gp to ask for HRT without knowing what I should have or understanding much about my options. I explained how slow, overweight and unhappy the low thyroxine was making me feel, along with up to 40 severe hot flushes a day, poor sleep, all the other symptoms and now no periods. I had another lecture about thyroxine and was offered anti depressants which I rejected out of hand as I was not depressed. I finally managed to get a referral to endocrinologists who confirmed my thyroxine dose should be put back up and that I was menopausal. I struggled on with hot flushes and brain fog affecting my work decisions and ability to perform especially in meetings. If I was ever on the back foot or challenged on something I found myself unable to think quickly enough to form a meaningful reply. Something which had never been an issue previously. This led to some very critical and highly personal feedback which crushed my self confidence at work despite being in a senior leadership role. The crunch came when I was in a meeting to dismiss a colleague and was so overcome with hot flushes - red sweating and breathless - that the subject of the meeting was more concerned about me than about the end of their employment. Immediately after that meeting I went to my gp in tears to beg for HRT. I was given an appointment with a different doctor who seemed to know more than the others and was amenable. I was prescribed evorel conti patches as by now I was over a year without periods. They have been life changing mostly in the reduction of hot flushes and improved quality of sleep. Brain fog is better but not gone and my skin hair and eyes are still horrifically dry. I haven’t been able to wear contact lenses for 7 years now due to the dryness of my eyes. I’m sure my hips have suffered from the delay in receiving HRT as I have constant pain. However I can now function as a mother, a manager ( in a new role) and a person thanks to the HRT patches”

“I felt a shadow of the person I once was. I had no confidence and at times felt paralysed by unexplained anxiety. I thought I was losing my mind. It impacted my job in a senior role. The memory loss and brain fog were crippling and compounded the problem. But I had no physical symptoms. No hot flushes or night sweats. A nurse wanted to put me on antidepressants. I told her it wasn’t depression and anxiety, it was menopause. I had to tell her, not the other way around. It got to the point where I really wanted to end my life as I saw no future. Triggered my the death of a Caroline Flack, I thought it was my only way out. I got support from the incredible Diane Danzebrink (MakeMenopauseMatter) who reassured me that my instincts were right and gave me much needed knowledge and guidance about hrt. That helped me take control of my doctor appointment. I started the patches / pills and it changed my life. My old self returned within two weeks. I couldn’t believe the diffference in energy levels, brightness and joy for life again. Even acid reflux disappeared. Bizarre! The benefits far outweigh the risks and I would say to anyone considering hrt, don’t give it a second thought, just do it. Oestrogen is the glue that holds us women together and when we start to lose it, things unravel in our bodies as a result of oestrogen deficiency. So treat the deficiency and get yourself back on track. Hold your doctor to account, arm yourself with knowledge and ask for want your want and need.”

“I’m 53.
At 39 I had a total hysterectomy. I had no idea what to expect afterwards and absolutely no one to speak to. Luckily my surgeon put me straight onto the gel. A lifesaver. But, I had no idea who or what I was doing. It was a choice as I’m also on the breast cancer watch list due to family history and even they weren’t so sure what I should do. A mine field. But, thanks to you, your programming and the awareness you are creating it is feeling more of a normal experience than abnormal, which it was for me those years ago. X”

“Nov 2020 started to feel like words got stuck in my head and wouldn't come out. Started to doubt I'd covered documents correctly at work and generally felt anxious. Started with explosive diahorrea every morning and loss of appetite. Put it down to lockdown fatigue. Anixety got worse and weight loss was extreme. GP DID tests and recommended anti depressants. I refused I've never had anixety before in my life. They offered CBT on line, which I accepted. Made adjustments myself at work and home to try to manage as my anixety turned to ruminating worrying and OCD checking everything. Lost confidence in my ability at work. Constantly checking I was doing things right, and needed reassuring. October 2021 after seeing Davina programme i realised what was going on. GP who was male said he wouldn't prescribe HRT as he thought the risks too high, and maybe a lady doctor would think differently, he recommended if I felt no better by the end of the year to make an appointment with a lady GP. November 2021 melt down during the night hit me from no where. I booked counselling with work that didn't help. Did meditation which helped a little but not fully. Finally demanded HRT and took a list of symptoms after reading up on it myself and using balanced app. HRT prescribed but it wasn't ideal, tablet form and aniexty returns on certain days in cycle. Review with GP who said take another 3 months or tell me what you want. (How was I supposed to know) paid for a private BUPA appointment and was prescribed patches and Ustrogestrone. Took it to GP for prescription and 2 months in I can say I'm much better. 18 months and only just starting to feel like myself again. Luckily I could afford a private appointment. Others can't!”

“I had to change my job due to the complete and utter loss of confidence in my own ability. The stress of this went on for months. I saw one GP who offered me antidepressants for my total loss of any joy in life. I felt completely flat for eighteen months until one day I realised that something had to change otherwise I wasn’t going be here anymore. I went to see another GP who was also reluctant to give me HRT but at the second appointment finally agreed. Not sure why she was so reluctant to prescribe it. Lack of knowledge perhaps but by then I’d done my own research. Even then though the patches sat in my kitchen for three months! I was scared to start it! But once I did start with HRT patches it was completely and utterly life changing. Within a week or two I could feel my mood lifting and I am now able to cope with life. I have been on the patches for eight months now. I also have a coil due to bleeding non stop for six months in 2019. I want things to improve for my daughters when they get to this stage in life as it is utterly unbelievable in this day and age that there’s so much lack of knowledge around the subject of menopause! Thank goodness there are people raising awareness.”

“I found it and are still finding it extremely hard to get any help from my doctor , I eventually , after giving up my job of 16 years , got hrt but still I’m not right , I mentioned giving up my job as I don’t think I meant too , it was the dreaded menopause, my hrt needs tweaking as I’m still not right but I can’t get to see my doctor and just clinging on to the little bit of sanity I’ve got left , I can’t remember being normal , I’m crabby most of the time and so lethargic that I can’t move some days , sometimes I worry that can it be hormones that are doing all this to me … got no one to talk to it about as I feel pathetic some days.”

“I am a former HR Director. I left my job, I had a total breakdown. I have all what I now know to be peri menopausal symptoms. I’ve had to go privately to get a prescription for the HRT that suits me. It’s been over 4 years and while I feel so sad for myself that I’ve had every symptom and just got on with it, what I can’t get back is the time with my family. My then 15 now 19 witnessed her Mum at her worst and it’s so awful the impact it has on your relationships. I’m really fortunate that my husband is really supportive. I still don’t have the confidence to go back to work. I have to pay £10 a bottle for Oestregel privately. I am so grateful to every “celeb” who has highlighted this along with amazing medical people such as Louise Newson and Naomi Potter. I’m not mad but feel still like a different person. I’m not me.”

“I was one of the lucky ones, I sailed through my menopause without noticing it. So many friends have suffered and are still suffering. Thank goodness the world has woken up to the fact HRT should be as available as contraception”

“Menopause does not affect women in later age only. It affects young people too. I’ve been on a menopause since I was 14 years of age. (I have premature ovarian failure). I’ve been on several different HRT’s. The one I current take keeps running out. I’ve been suffering in silence. It’s not something you can speak out to friends and family when they don’t understand what you’re going through. Body ache, no period, legs aches, hip aches, hot flushes, vagina dryness. I’ve been embarrassed and humiliated by doctor surgery receptions and pharmacies staff when I was on my teen asking why I’ve been prescribed XXX medication. (I’ve seen specialists at the hospital.) This was when I was a teen. Now I’m 37 years now, just getting on with it. Being childless, infertile wasn’t my choice. Childfree is.”

“I’m currently 38 and have been battling with my GP for 18 months. My family history of the last three generations going through menopause in their late 30s means nothing. The brain fog, itchy skin, memory loss and repeating the water infections mean nothing. My dry eyes, dry vagina, dry skin mean nothing.
The constant headaches, digestion issues, night sweats and palpitations mean nothing.
The fact I have a very challenging career and sometimes forget my staff members names means nothing.
Blood test after blood test, scan internal and out, smear after smears
No one is listening to me
I’m having periods , yes I know but irregular and very different to how they have ever been before
This doesn’t matter, none of this matters because my blood tests are “normal” my hormone levels are “normal”
Sent home again , fobbed off again, struggling again!
Depression and low mental health, ruining my life.”

“I started the menopause at the age of 38; I am now 50 next week. I can't really remember much about the start of it, only that I was put on the contraceptive pill, which obviously masked all menopause symptoms. As I got older I decided I did not want to be on the pill anymore. My symptoms were horrendous; terrible night sweats, flushes, low mood, anxiety, suicidal.
My periods had completely stopped so I was put on HRT. It stopped all menopause symptoms and I was happy again.......this was only for a few months until I started bleeding. This bleeding would last for weeks. I went for scans time after time but showed nothing. I stopped HRT and bleeding stopped but menopause symptoms soon came back and I could not cope with them. Doctors tried me on sll sorts of HRT but every time I would bleed constantly. I am still in this situation at the moment. I have recently had to stop HRT again and, yet again, can't cope with the symptoms.
All my GP says is "you are a medical mystery" but they don't seem to be trying to find out why this is happening. This is also causing problems with my relationship.
12 years of going through this and the GP's do not seem to care.”

“Have been getting angrier, more irritated by small things, & so frustrated with the people I work with. So much so, that I'm actually in trouble & have been reported to HR (it's a large corporation). It's come as a massive smack in the face that it's the perimenopause. My partner said he's noticed my mood, motivation, lack of sleep for the past few years, but felt that I had to come to the realisation myself. It's only on seeing people like Davina & Mariella speaking up that I have figured any of this out. First Drs appointment is next week, thank gods I have so much more information I can take with me, as opposed to what my Mum went through.”

“I’m 56. At 39 I started my peri-menopause. It took 6 months to persuade my GP to do a blood test but they did. I was given the risks of HRT but wanted it. I had 2 little boys and was a single mum with a very demanding job. I told no one. It was a life saver though and enabled me to keep my job and be a decent mum.
I’ve had lots of UTIs during my menopause and recently after being rushed to A&E because I was urinating blood, I finally got diagnosed with vaginal atrophy and also use a vaginal pessary along with daily oestrogen and progesterone. It changed my life as I’d be in a pretty bad way for a couple of years.
So I guess my story regarding HRT is not too bad, but the shame! Especially the vaginal atrophy. One of the biggest issues for me is that since being diagnosed as peri-menopausal at 39 I’ve not dated. I’ve now been single longer than I was married (hugely poor relationship history) and can’t imagine inflicting myself on anyone. Who’s ever want me? The whole lack of support over the past 16 years has taken all sorts of tolls and whilst it’s all too late for me, I really hope there’s support for others. I’d love to think there would more support to help women who are in a similar position to me back then, so that they feel they can date and be more comfortable in their skin”

“As an advanced nurse practitioner in general practice with a special interest in menopause and womens health my heart breaks daily when I speak to women and they tell me how they have and are suffering with menopause symptoms but feel the gave not been listened to and have been unable to access appropriate treatment and support. I am also a peri menopausal woman and am frustrated that my needs are not met by my own practice and have been told for testosterone I will have to be referred to a menopause specialist.
The current HRT shortage has led to an increase in the workload of both myself and our practice clinical pharmacists to find alternatives for patients who are already settled on their HRT and have to, once again, go through the struggle to find their balance again. I have also personally been affected by the shortage and am unable to access my own HRT treatment
I am passionate about advocating for women in menopause and am so grateful for the MPs, celebrities and clinicians who are making a stand and making a difference”

“I started having hideous joint pains 18 months ago. My elbows and wrists were constantly so painful and really affected my work and life - I was in pain when I slept and often in agony when I was awake. I had 6 months of physio, an MRI scan, x-rays - and everything came up fine. The pain was constant and agonising. and I could barely walk my dogs or use a phone or computer mouse. I eventually heard Dr Louise Newson talking about joint pain being a major symptom of menopause and it clicked!!! I am 52, periods have stopped, why did nobody think that it might be menopause? A load of reading by me, a great discussion with my supportive doctor, and HRT almost totally got rid of the pain. And some of the other symptoms that I just thought were a part of aging I had to accept.”

“11 and 1/2 years ago I had an ovary removed whilst pregnant in an emergency operation due to a benign tumour causing a torsion.
Fast forward 10 and 1/2 years and I find myself having massively heavy periods which are irregular, painful, making me ill and I generally feel miserable. Cue sweats, feeling like I'm burning up, forgetting what basic items are called, mixing up names (my daughter regularly gets called Alexa and vice versa), a massively decreased sex drive (to the point that it is causing issues) and dryness. I am 42.

I approached the doctors to speak to them, they insisted I'm too young. I calmly explained I only had one ovary, my mother went into early menopause and there must be something which can be done to check. Again, the doctor insisted I was much too young. They decided the best course of action was an internal scan as there must be something else wrong. I had this scan which I found tough as it was in the same room my torsion was found and bought all of that trauma up again.

Needless to say it came back clear. I approached the doctor again who insisted I was too young again but eventually agreed I could have a blood test. I then had to await for my now irregular and horrid period to have the test. I waited and when it came I had the blood test. The results the doctor tells me are those of someone who is menopausal. Great I thought, finally we are getting somewhere. No!! I am still too young and I need a second test with the same results before they will do anything.
It is so upsetting as I have jumped through so many painful, undignifying and triggering hoops to get to this point.”

“I had an emergency c section in November 1988, at the age of 17 I had my daughter. I was left too long in labour through the doctors fault. After 18 hours in labour I was rushed to theatre and my daughter was born safely. 6 1/2 hours later I came out of theatre and went straight into intensive care.

At the age of 21 after 13 operations I had a full hysterectomy. I was then put on many different HRT meds which did not help. I was then put onto a HRT oestrogen implant which has been amazing and lasts 5 months, but I do not need to take a tablet or a patch my body takes what it needs daily. I had no choice with my hysterectomy but I will fight to have a normal life. After all, the male Dr who made a mess of me to begin with, his life is not affected. My daughter is 33 she is my best friend I will be 51 next month and I am not giving up without a fight, if this was a drug for a man then there would be no shortage.”

“I’ve been going through the menopause for more than 10 years. When I reached 60 my doctors stopped prescribing HRT for me even though my symptoms got worse. So for the past 4 years I’ve just had to cope and ‘get on with it.”

“I’m 43 years of age. On reflection my menopause started around three years ago, I knew nothing about it, maybe if I had I would have gotten help sooner. I went to my GP over those three years with palpitations, heavy and irregular bleeding, suicidal thoughts and generally only feeling ok one week of the month. No one ever mentioned the peri-menopause to me. Only through Louise Newson was I able to educate myself and get the treatment I needed.

I have paid privately for my prescription for the past year as my GP would not prescribe it to me due to my age and his general lack of knowledge around peri menopause. With the help of the balance app I have tracked my symptoms and for the first time have had solid evidence for the GP to show that my symptoms have vastly improved with HRT. To begin with when I showed him the symptoms reduction he still would not prescribe my HRT. I have had to fight and fight but finally I have been prescribed it on the NHS.

Women know their bodies, the GPs need to listen and more training is required around the peri menopause and menopause. I honestly think the balance app and Newson clinic saved my life, I can’t bare to think of the consequences for those that cannot afford to pay privately, it’s a scandalous situation that needs to improve immediately.”

“I had a total hysterectomy 7 years ago after battling with severe endometriosis for most of my teenage and early adult life. I was put into surgical menopause immediately after my operation and have struggled with my physical and mental health ever since.

I was fortunate enough to have medical insurance that covered me to have the operation but I have battled with my GP to get regular consistent HRT. I have to contact my gynaecologist each time the GP has refused to help me or told me to go private again!
I am now waiting, alongside many other women, for the gel to come back into stock as I have been prescribed this by by gynaecologist to help me, since the previous HRT I have been on is no longer working.

It affects my day to day life. I’m only 39 and have been dealing with this since I was 32.
None of my friends are currently menopausal and it’s very hard for people to understand how you feel, and I get questioned as I’m considered too “young” to have the menopause.
It’s massively impacted my day to day life and I have missed a few weeks off work in the last few years due to anxiety and brain fog, it’s utterly exhausting at times and I feel that women in menopause are not offered the correct treatment and support.

If a woman is pregnant, she is offered as much help as possible, I appreciate it’s not exactly the same but there is so much help available for pregnancy, but not for a women in menopause, who is hormonal and also needs support. It needs to change and I’ll do anything I can to help it.”

“I have suffered from migraines (classic migraine – one-sided blindness in an eye, hypersensitivity to light and noise, vasodilation of blood vessels in the brain, stiff neck, etc.) since I was in primary school – it runs in my mother’s side of the family.

But despite the excruciating pain I, nothing could prepare me for what lay ahead during menopause. Migraines that once lasted one to two days at most during childhood, were now stretching up to five days long, and the pain was infinitely worse. Much of the time I was bed-ridden. It was also accompanied by extreme nausea, loss of balance, and at one point I began to thinking I was suffering from some form of early onset dementia - I was struggling to think coherently. One thing I’ve seemed to escape has been the hot flushes. Hopefully, it will still that way.

As I’m a physiologist (neuro) – and when I had my neuro head on – I realised it was most probably the product of menopausal changes. However, it made the sudden memory losses no less exasperating; fingers crossed I am now emerging from the worst side of it, and feel more like my old self again.

This whole experience has lasted around three and a half to four years and hopefully I am now making a full recovery – I will be able to do the humble things I enjoyed doing before the storm arrived e.g., walking in the park; meeting up with friends, being able to sit at my computer or simply relax with a book.

I wouldn’t wish this on anyone – and if you are suffering, seek help. I have never been prescribed any medication: keep pushing for help.”

“I had to have an early hysterectomy and so I need HRT patches. Now, months on they are struggling to give me patches. The chemist don’t have them, the doctor won’t supply the prescription without an appointment, but I can’t get an appointment to see the doctor, and all the time I’m suffering from hot flushes, low moods, feeling tired and generally unwell. All because of no HRT patches. Some male doctors don’t understand how no HRT affects us ladies.”

“Forced myself to take a sabbatical as felt total burn out from my primary school teaching position. Struggled with insomnia, anxiety, exhaustion and low moods. Couldn’t afford it financially but couldn’t afford not to for my sanity. Taken on a p/t nanny job which suits me so much better. Need to decide whether to return to school in a couple of weeks for September term and cannot see me being able to function successfully in a f/t all day busy and hectic school job role. The woman I knew and loved was energetic, fit, sociable, fun and positive however the woman I am now is a stranger- I am constantly tired, dull, unsociable, despondent, unfit. The roller coaster from being on HRT is a work in progress, hopefully. Just want to recognise the woman that stares back at me in the mirror.”

“My periods became irregular about 5 years ago when I was 35 and for a few years this was the only symptom of menopause I was experiencing. At the time I went to my GP who sent me for blood tests and a pelvic scan to rule out anything else, results came back normal so was told there’s nothing to worry about.
I’d also explained from the start that my mum & Nan both went into early menopause.
After a few years I started to get other symptoms like hot flushes, hair loss, inability to lose weight, itchy skin, insomnia and anxiety to name a few, so I went back to my GP who again sent me for blood tests and a pelvic scan. The bloods showed changes in my hormone levels so I was told to have regular blood tests every 3 months to monitor this as they weren’t happy to prescribe HRT as I was quite young. After much fighting I was referred to a private clinic (as an overspill from the NHS) who specialised in women’s health but after only one appointment with them which produced normal hormone levels (I was going through a good spell, for a few months the hot flushes had subsided somewhat) I was discharged because we were at the start of the covid pandemic and it wasn’t an emergency. This was the start of two years of what felt like a complete and utter struggle. The menopause symptoms started getting worse, my periods had pretty much stopped and I was dealing with so much stress, sleep deprivation, serious money worries & home schooling a 5 and 12 year old. I was experiencing what I can only describe as blind rage and no patience (another charming menopause symptom) and just feeling awful, with no help whatsoever!
It has taken 5 years overall of pushing & fighting with my GP for blood tests & appointments. In January this year, a week before my 40th birthday, I got a long awaited appointment with a consultant at the hospital who prescribed me HRT after no further testing, he just listened to me and what I was going through.
I’m feeling loads better and have a follow up appointment next month but it really shouldn’t be this difficult to get help! Menopause training for all GPs should be mandatory.”

“Due to a partial hysterectomy at 42 I knew I wouldn't have the signs of stopped periods to alert me to menopause, but knew it was likely to occur within 5 years. I didn't have any idea what the wider symptoms were and I didn't recognise the signs of perimenopause but retrospectively realise that all those joint aches and intense bouts of ennui were almost certainly connected. I went to the GP when I couldn't stop crying at work. I always cry easily but this was something else entirely. I knew 'this wasn't me'. She was very sympathetic, and also keen to point out my stressful job and recent bereavement of my father in law and suggest that the symptoms might be stress related. She suggested I take time off work or an anti-depressant. I had done my homework and went in armed with the NICE guidelines (thank you Mumsnet for linking them on your menopause forum) and was prescribed Oestrogen. Once we had tweaked the dose (I needed a lot) I felt myself again. Regular exercise, minimal sugar and minimal alcohol are also essential (damn you menopause!)”

“I work in a male dominated environment and the word menopause returns zero results on the regulatory bodies website. It doesn’t even accept it exists. I am really really scared. I know that the symptoms I could suffer will potentially make me unfit to do my job temporarily but that I have no choice but to try to carry on. It’s frightening. I can’t declare myself unfit from menopause symptoms without grave consequences….”

“I had to give up my job of 17 years as I didn't feel I had the confidence to do it anymore. I had always been a manager, managing upwards of 30 staff in a fast paced environment but didn't feel I could cope any more due to increasing issues with concentration and anxiety. Was treated with antidepressants. It is still a struggle trying to get the correct HRT and the correct dose. I have been offered another management job but still don't feel able... Not when this anxiety is still out if control”

“I starting having migraines in my mid 40’s -I kept a diary and realised they were related to my menstrual cycle. My doctor didn’t agree and gave me every drug going trying to control the migraines -beta blockers, epilepsy medication etc. Nothing worked and I spent 8 years having on average 130 migraines per year. My doctor was happy to prescribe very strong medication which helped me manage each migraine which quite honestly I couldn’t have managed without. I eventually asked for HRT once my periods stopped and was given Kliofem which clearly didn’t agree with me and caused huge problems in my family due to me becoming very unemotional and aggressive. I went back to the doctors and was seen by a young lady who told me “it’s either this or nothing” and gave me a prescription for anti-depressants. I stopped taking everything and suffered with brain fog, aches and pains, low mood etc. for years. I was diagnosed with osteoporosis at 54 years old and decided enough was enough. Thanks to Davina I found The Menopause Doctor and paid for a private consultation-it was worth every penny. The problem I have now is that I stopped using Oestrogel due to a problem with some batches and started on patches, these caused more migraines and didn’t work for me. I recently started on Lenzetto which has been great until I ran out last week and am waiting now for supplies to come back in. I changed doctors after my private appointment and my new doctor has been fabulous-she takes the time to listen to my concerns and we discuss what’s best together. She has been extremely good about the shortages and has offered to help in any way she can. Hopefully I can get some Lenzetto soon as I have had to go back to patches for now and feel dreadful. It really is worth the time and effort to change doctors and I recommend this to anyone who is being fobbed off. Thanks to Davina, Louise Newson and lots of others out there women now have the information they need to make their own choices and get their life back, let’s hope the government steps up so we can actually have the medication we need.”

“I am 59 years old. I was perimenopausal probably for a few years before I became menopausal at age 50yrs. I was frightened of taking HRT as my mother had hormone related breast cancer and HRT was said to be the cause. (she had a lumpectomy and Radiotherapy at the time and only last year again had breast cancer and had a mastectomy). I tried herbal and gadgets that were said to help, without any improvement. It was only a few years ago that Woman's Hour did a week long programme on the Menopause that I had confidence to explore Bio identical and HRT options. Some tv programmes years ago, seemed to make light of the issue and were not heavy weight factual or scientific. Thankfully, there are more recent programmes/books and discussions that have more depth/science behind them. My symptoms were affecting my life and many of the symptoms were not linked, at the time, to the menopause. Hot flushes were unbearable, affecting work and social, literally dripping with sweat regularly. disturbed sleep. itchy skin, anxiety and brain fog, I thought I was getting early onset dementia. I've subsequently discovered, the menopause may have exacerbated a recent diagnosis of ADD - there has been research in the States showing the effects this major change in hormones can have. It's unbelievable that women’s health is once again sidelined. IT MUST CHANGE, OUR GOVERNMENT MUST ACT NOW! HRT is an essential aid for women. I had to try a few different HRT options, some had bad side effects/bleeds, before being recommended the gel pump Oestrogel and oral, Utrogestan 100. This has hugely helped stop and reduce the majority of symptoms, so life is more bearable. HRT is an essential prescription, which should be made a National Formula so that everyone has access to it where ever they live. The must be a commitment to more training for Medics - we only have one menopause specialist in our county! It's not good enough.”

“Where do I start?! I hate my life now 😭 feel disconnected from everything and everyone. Only had telephone appts with Drs, been given and tried 3 different HRTs felt horrendous on all of them apparently I am super sensitive to Progesterone and when I asked if I can take it vaginally Dr was mortified and insisted NO .... i’ve given up now. Ive gone from a happy loving hard working energetic women to nothing. I used to work out 5x a week can barely manage 2 I’ve lost my zest for life my motivation Ive totally lost ME I want ME back I want to divorce my husband,(really happy loving marriage before) quit my job i worked so hard to get (food retail store manager) , i’ve lived with insomnia for over 3 years now ..... ive never felt so defeated ever .... i’m at my wits end as i just dont know what to do anymore”

“Everyone should be able to have free access to this. It can happen at all ages not just my age. Doctors don’t understand the problems even though mine started early it never helped with relationships. Ive got it now but boy the doctors or nurses have no idea how to handle a menopausal person or explain what you will go through being on it. A day at a time is all I can do. Even though they may be going through it themselves. Every single person goes through some sort of symptom. Sign the petition if anyone wants change. I have and I have no shame in saying it’s bloody hard 👍🏻 will talk to anyone about what I’ve been and going through. Make the most of your life”

“I am 49 years old. Since I was 39 I have struggled with sleep, mood swings, cyclical depression urination urgency and urinating up to 10 times a night.

I was tested for several worrying conditions: ? Ovarian cysts or ? Ovarian cancer, ? Bowel problems. I had weight gain, even when dieting, hair loss and no sleep also. I must have visited the GP more than a dozen times. I've had chest X rays, ultrasound scans on my bladder, ovaries, colon. I've been at my wit's end and no one was able to find anything to give a firm diagnosis...I was left thinking that it was all in my head and making it up !

It was just last September, 2021, age 48 & 9 years on from my first symptoms that a friend startedHRT and parts of her story resonated with me. I bought two menopause books and it was clear to me that I was in the perimenopause.. after extensive research and after reaching Rock bottom with mood swings, depression and exhaustion- I was literally desperate for a diagnosis or help.

I then had a telephone appointment with a GP at my practice. I had never met her before so to have a conversation over the phone with a stranger about very intimate, embarrassing symptoms was hard in a 5 min phone call. I told them I would like vagifem for my urinary problems and HRT...ideally gel or spray oestrogen.

I was given standard HRT patches to start with and the GP said this was the first line of treatment and that I need a follow up appointment in 3 months.

I started with patches and vagifem. The vagifem literally worked after two or three days...this was amazing! Sadly, I sank deeper and deeper I to misery and still lack of sleeping...I would say my symptoms were scarily heightened within two weeks of using these patches.

The GP had told me to wait three months but I could only manage three weeks - fortunately I was wise enough to seek further help at this point as I don't know what I should have done if I continued with how I was feeling on these patches. By the time I started the progesterone patches, I was so deep into misery and depression that 8 felt I could no longer cope.

I tried to get a GP appointment and there wasn't an appointment with a GP specialising in menopause for 8 weeks. I don't think I would have survived 8 more weeks of these patches that were deepening my symptoms further.

I did a search on the internet and found a local, private menopause clinic and promptly made an appointment. Two weeks and £130 lighter, I had had the most amazing face to face appointment with a private specialist who listened to me, reassured me, advised that I most likely had a sensitivity towards synthetic progesterones which were potentially what were making my symptoms reach crisis point. I started on Lenzetto spray, ugesterone with a review in 3 months. Within 3 weeks my mood swings were better, relationships less touchy, less depression, anger and urinating at night had really eased, constipation resolved, hair loss had stopped but still not sleeping!

I spoke with my specialist and she suggested increasing my Lenzetto during the worst periods of my lack of sleep which was the week leading up to ovulation until after my period.

Roll on 6 months and I am now in a happier place, moods sorted, no longer argumentative/raging moods, no longer depressed, however I still don't sleep 3 weeks out of four! My next review increased my Lenzetto to 4 sprays from the week leading up to ovultion until my period has started and she has now prescribed female testosterone.

Three weeks in to the new regime and testosterone: I am sleeping. 3 days into using the testosterone my inability to sleep has nearly resolved....9 years of not sleeping I am a little anxious to say this has resolved in case I jinx it but the past two weeks I have definitely slept (possibly woken once in the night for a wee).

Coupled with this new regime, I have also changed my diet through a course with a specialist menopause nutritionist and have increased my protein intake to stop me waking through the night through ? Low blood sugar.

I am still not 100% me again but I can tell you the depression, anxiety and rage ( 3 of my 4 main symptoms) have nearly resolved. Sleep I am pretty sure is on the road to recovery.

My next part to tackle is weight loss but I am sure that with testosterone now on board, my metabolism will increase and weight loss will commence - fingers crossed!

It's been a long and painful journey but I can now see light at the end of the tunnel! The sad thing is that my GP won't accept the prescription request from my specialist to prescribe me Lenzetto and ugesterone on the NHS. Sadly, I am forced to pay private prescription prices, (which on an NHS Midwife salary, it's a struggle to pay for just to feel normal and cope with life) because my GP surgery will not prescribe it based on a private Dr’s diagnosis/recommendation. I still have a battle ahead of me but because of my new HRT regime, I feel I have a little more strength to fight this fight!”

“I am a Nurse Practitioner. I have been passionate about treating the menopause for years. I am an advocate of positive women's health.
The great positive press about the menopause and HRT is heart warming. We just need the products to be available.”

“Over 20yrs ago I couldn't have hrt as they thought hrt caused blood clots I went through early menopause in my 30s I now have osteoporosis I am only 59 yrs old now it's shocking I wish I could of had hrt”

“I am 63 years young- mother to three amazing children and four beautiful grandkids 💜- nights and day sweats accompanied by heart palpitations (some times) are debilitating to say the least- there seems to be be so little information out there even on google or social media I have had days where the exhaustion is so overwhelming I just give up and either lay down or retired to somewhere in the house were I can have a good cry- the brain fog and the ‘wait a minute what was I doing’ is almost an everyday day thing- I am still working by choice as otherwise I would actually scratch walls! 😂 I should mention I choose not to take HRT - same as I said before- so little info- I just take it as a way of life.”

“I was over the moon when my periods finished but then the dreaded Menopause hit !! It’s like yay celebrate no periods and nature says hold on a minute we’re not finished with you have some more but this time we’re gonna make it a million times worse !!!!
I went to the doctor with every menopause symptom it was awful …really awful !!! He denied me any kind of help and told me to try herbal remedies I told him I’d tried them all with no luck he still said no there’s nothing we can do !!!! I suffered for 2 years until I moved to Spain went to see the doctor and got prescribed the right thing straight away !! Within a few weeks it worked and continues to work … I’ve heard so may stories from friends exactly the same being denied any help !!! WHY ???? One friend was actually suicidal and they told her no !! she had to go private .. This is so wrong on every level . No-one can understand how bad it actually is and it’s a natural thing so why are we not getting the help we deserve I mean it’s not like we asked for it !!!!”

“Elective total hysterectomy aged 41 die to cancer elsewhere and a 80% risk of female cancers. No one talked to me pre op about the effect of surgical menopause. Day2 after surgery it kicked in. Took drs.over 5 weeks to prescribe HRT that I am now struggling to get. Good luck ladies, this menopause malarky is real.”

“I had been happily on HRT for 5 years with no side effects, then out of the blue was told my HRT was no longer made and switched to another product.
This lead to a very heavy/prolonged bleed together with lumpy breasts. Thankfully both non cancerous.
I was given another HRT product and a few months later the same all happened again. So I stopped HRT completely not wishing to put myself mentally and physically through this turmoil again.
This was October 2018, I still have sleepless nights, waking up drenched in sweat, multiple hot sweats through the day and night, the stress has caused my hair to go thin and lifeless. Tiredness is an understatement.
I then found out that my original HRT “ Prempak C” was available but the NHS Trust my GP is under no longer had the funds to continue to prescribe this to me.
- Accountants on behalf of the NHS playing God with my health.”

“I am 53, a few years ago I started the classic symptoms of the menopause but at the time I didn't realise, just thought I was loosing it! I had terrible mood swings, anxiety, paranoia, feeling tired & withdrawn. I went to the doctors and explained I thought I was going through the menopause, hoping she would be sympathetic and give me advice. Quite the opposite, I was told to 'ride' it, I went away thinking that was my only option as I had no one to talk to and no one was talking about it. My symptoms continued and as it was effecting my family, I returned to the doctors, I saw another female doctor who again had no knowledge on how to help me so offered me anti depression, which I refused to take. It was only on my third attempt on visiting the doctor, on a unrelated issue, that I finally got the help I needed. He was a male doctor who told me 'I couldn't carry on like this, you need HRT' and went through all the HRT treatments, he was amazing, we agreed on the patches was the best option and I haven't looked back, I have my life back. The only sad part is that due to doctors having lack of training & knowledge, I may have got HRT sooner.”

“I have been waiting for a specialist appointment for 18 months and have had 4 hospial cancellations. Im taking HRT but need speallist advice from hospital as my GP does not have knowledge of adjustments. I currently have still severe problems that effect my working life and personal lijfe.
We need more focus on womens health for older ladies.”

“I was put on HRT patches and they were great I started to feel like me again loads of energy and all aches & pains disappeared. I'd been on them about four years when unfortunately they became hard to get( some women were buying them from abroad because of shortages here) I was persuaded to go on the HRT tablets. I'd been on them for about ten days when I had a TIA this happened a week before lockdown and for that I'm grateful as I don't think I would have got any help during lockdown and it could have been a different outcome. The consultant put the TIA down to taking HRT tablets and I'm now on statins and blood thinners for the rest of my life. Women shouldn't have to go through something as scary as this just because the powers that be were selling the patches abroad for more money.”

“I think GP’s need to go on advance courses about menopause and what they can give you. I had to go private in the end, and have had to do follow up appointments on private which hasn't been cheap as my gp had told me there was nothing more they could do with me even when I was suffer severe symptoms and also feeling suicidal over this and also to be told that she had to go as had another appointment. my private consultant has been amazing but I just can't keep paying out. also I think with work if you have to go off sick that it should come under law for the sick to be discounted”

“I starting getting migraines I felt so depleted.. I was prescribed sleeping pills from the GP she thought they would relax me. They were also used on other people as an antidepressant. Then they say to you yes you will get fat. Outrageous ! Women either have the option of the GP where one size fits all to organisations that you can never speak to anyone, maybe once every 3 months as they have become inundated and it has become a huge money spinner. Is there a perfect match or do women just just have to with their symptoms. It is cruel. Help !!!”

“HRT is life transforming with out realising ,recognising my confidence, fuzzy head ,anxiety, those although full hot flushes & then seeing a photo of myself looking very middle aged ! Spoke with woman's health GP who suggested HRT. I have never looked back.
Feel, look & now youthful ,comments “you look good” am 60 next year & never felt so good no hot flushes.
So please do not hesitate to go to your GP ,HRT is life transforming & gives you your confidence & stops that look of “a woman of a certain age“!
So don’t suffer ,life is for embracing & your sex will definitely be “on fire “ .
More than happy to pay for my NHS prescription x 3 different HRT items rather than have it free if it means you get the HRT you where prescribed rather than an alternative & as most women now have to work until 67 to received their state pension.”

“I became peri menopausal a year after I got married in 2016. I didn’t have a clue about what was happening but saw my GP for a blood test which she then confirmed but offered no support or advice. After talking to anyone I could, watching loose women, signing up to menopause matters the magazine, I educated myself and was lucky enough to see a private consultant as found on the menopause map. I’m an Indian lady and topics such as the menopause are really not openly spoken about. I recorded tv snippets where they talked about the menopause and made my husband watch them. I’m lucky that he has been very supportive but the early years were difficult for both of us. The other huge help I got was watching experts on youtube which educated me on bio identical progesterone. This stopped my bleeding which I had on the combined patch as I switched to Utrogestan tablets. Ive now just started testosterone this week. The oestrogen patch has been fantastic and again my dose has just been increased. Its been 6 years for me and I’m in a much better place. Please keep talking, find help, support and ways to alleviate your symptoms. There really is help out there.”

“I have asked my GP to go in HRT but I am 46 and cannot go on it because for past 5 months of no period and I cannot have the bleed tablet one. The other one available is for over 50•s so in the meantime I must suffer with all my symptoms which I feel I am in crisis with. I live with pain body and migraine’s and I believe that HRT or some hormonal replacement would give me a better quality of life physically and mentally. We need change.”

Without HRT I would not be here!!
HRT literally saved my life
That is all that needs to be said
For if I was a man this would never even need to be asked or these shortage problems would not exist.

“I am a 57 year old woman who nearly lost the plot and spiralled into the lowest depths of despair and agony. For the most part I have suffered in silence, ensuring to the outer world that every day was business as usual, but it was not. Beneath that smile was a woman who gradually became numb and dead to the outer world, pushing away much loved friends and family as I could not hold a conversation, I became irritated by what others would say, my brain and memory began to fail, the brain fog was constant, I was hearing things that were not being said and took it the wrong way.

Over the last two years, my body became alien to me. I was never skinny (well at birth I was as I weighed only 5 pounds!), but in my 50s my mid-rift spread a lot more, some of my hair fell out, my skin became dry and oh god I became a bearded lady - forever plucking those relentless hairs that appeared under my chin, oh and yes on my bottom! I felt undesirable and shuddered at a mere touch or embrace from my beloved husband, even though he says he desires and loves me as I am and what size I am. I would laugh at him and say the obvious that he wanted me out of desperation.

As a woman I was and still holding on to the job I really love and reserved most of my energy into preserving this - well we all need money and I am saving for retirement! But my body was fighting me at every twist and turn. Headaches, body on fire with aches and pains, sleepless nights, night and day sweats, mood swings, the exhaustion was debilitating, I could barely get from bedroom to bathroom, I was on my knees. Like most women I went to the doctors and had copious blood tests/MRI scans and other various procedures. Only to be told they all looked normal, so it is all in my head and perhaps I am depressed. No I am not depressed I said on numerous occasions. I am a woman who has everything going for her, loving husband, brilliant job and loving family. I am exasperated at having to fight symptoms night and day. I discussed with the GPs that perhaps its the beginning of the menopause, this was refuted and two years ago they declined to test for this. Even a year without periods and me asking to be put on HRT was refused - again take antidepressants said the male GP.

With this I gave up for a while and painfully soldiered on. But for a while I also did research on HRT/Menopause and thought this all makes sense, this is what is happening to me.

Well 11 weeks ago I hit rock bottom after numerous pleas with the doctor still hit on deaf ears! I began to emotionally unravel both at home and at work. At one point during what you would call a normal conversation about family finance, I felt confusion, frustration and loss which was unfounded, but completely took over me. I began to gauge deep with my nails into my own flesh from the wrist to half way up my arms, blood pouring out, frightening my husband. As for me I felt nothing but an out of body experience and a disassociation with my body and brain, I felt no pain. At that point my mind, body and spirit flatlined in that one dreadful moment. I was no longer functioning as a human being, let alone a woman.

My husband booked a visit to the GP, In front of my husband as witness I cried and begged the GP for HRT, he still insisted on giving me sertraline. Even though I knew I was not depressed I agreed to give it a try, along with the agreement that I would take time to rest, I was signed off work for 4 weeks. My body rejected this as they had not checked the other medication that I was on. I had horrendous hallucinations, the face in the bathroom mirror looking back at me, was not me, it was distorted a gargoyle and moving and speaking back to me. I was a screaming strange mess that my 23 year old daughter had to placate and settle down. She called 111 for advice - you guessed it, come off the sertraline as it was not compatible with other medications. This again warranted a conversation with my GP. I did'nt have the energy to ask why he had not checked my current medication and compatibility. Again I mentioned HRT. Oh no not yet the male GP cried, try Citilopram! Take a few more weeks off and try these. Worn out and on my knees, I agreed. Hubby dutifully arrives at the chemist to pick these up and was told - Oh no she can't have these as again they interfere with my other medications!

On the phone to the male GP again, I was told to ignore the chemist the reaction is not founded in such a small dose. At this point wearily I silently agree to proceed to purchase and take the antidepressants. I don't. I have had enough of not being listened to and I certainly was not inviting a further trip to a land of hallucination. Enough was enough and with the last effort and push in me I resolved to ignore my male GP's advice, he simply did not understand.

The following day I emailed the surgery clearly asking to be put on HRT. The request was signposted to an adjacent GP practice who run a once a month menopause clinic at my GP surgery! I was phoned by a lovely lady GP running this monthly clinic who, listened, empathised with me and agreed I should have been referred earlier. She looked at my recent blood results that clearly showed that I was in menopause. The relief of being listened to and finally believed resulted in a complete collapse of tears. The lovely GP said if she could give me a pound for every lady that has shared my experience she would be rich. She has heard the same story, many a times. Most GP's male and female have not received sufficient training on menopause and how to recognise and treat symptoms from the earliest stages.

3 weeks ago I was prescribed Estrogel and progesterone and told to use 2 pumps of Estrogel daily along with the progesterone tablet in the evening. Fantastic I thought, I have hope! But now the next battle begins, accessing the HRT. My prescription goes to ASDA. My husband tried to pick up the medication, but was told that they did not have it and would not be receiving this for a while. But I should go back to my GP and ask for something else. I can't tell you how devastated I was. I was pinning all my hopes on this, so I cried buckets of tears through exhaustion, I was defeated again from treatment. The following day I rang alternative chemists along with my husband. Several tries later we found a chemist who had Estrogel. My husband dutifully took the prescription and was told - Oh it says for two pumps, therefore you need to ask your GP to give you 2 prescriptions as we can only give you one pump per prescription as its rare to get hold of. Again we waited 2 days for a new prescription to be done and picked this up from the surgery. We successfully managed to obtain one pump, so I began to use as directed.

A week later after many other phone calls and my husband going into pharmacies around Surrey, he managed to find a pharmacy in London who gave him the other Estrogel. This should not be happening, apart from the fact that it should be readily stocked, not having it will have an effect on many a woman needing to use this.

I am 3 weeks in now using HRT, my mood is beginning to lift and I no longer feel suicidal, I know up until now I have not mentioned the S word, but I was rock bottom and at times felt that not being here was for the best. But now thank god, I feel that there is hope. By no means am I feeling like myself as it is early days yet and my lovely GP says it can take up to 3 months to begin to take full effect. But I can feel a change, be it a small glimmer.

The experience of menopausal symptoms shattered the strong person I was, I once said mind over matter, but now I believe that your health and body matter, because without that you won't have a body to put that mind in to actually matter! The whole journey to be listened to by my GP has had a detrimental effect, so much so that I shattered physically and mentally. I am slowly re-building my body, my mind and soul and I believe it is down to HRT. I am not yet strong enough to go back to work because of what has happened, I still feel broken inside, but I am slowly mending and putting the pieces of ME back together.

I know that not all of this story will read well, not make sense, I feel amongst everything else I have lost the art of stringing sentences together, but that is because I still have brain fog and some symptoms - but as I said it is still early days!

For those of you considering HRT give it a go! Fight your GP for the right to be heard, taken seriously and prescribed HRT. Stay strong. Believe in yourself and take care!”

“I was told at 19 I'd go through early menopause and it still took doctors until I was 29 to do a simple blood test to see where my Hormone levels were at. I had about 7 terrible, horrible, horrendous years of symptoms and all my GP would prescribed was antidepressants.

Finally after a breakdown at 29 they agreed to a blood test, my partner and I were trying for a baby with no luck for over 5 years. By the time they agreed to test me, I was post menopause with no period since I'd had my son at 22.

I was given 3 blood tests over 6 weeks and asked to come in to discuss the results. I know what was coming but it was still a shock, I was only 29 and my partner 26. I had the quickest discussion with my GP. Told I needed to start HRT straight away. I left with no other knowledge, support or care.

I think had to wait a year and a half to see a menopause specialist at the clinic. He saved my life. He listened to all my symptoms and that day I left that appointment with a testosterone and oestrogen implant. In the 4 years I had been on HRT I felt normalish for 4 months of them. Unfortunately that doctor retired before my next appointment and I was then referred to his nurse-led implant team. This is when things turned for the worst again.

I was giving a new specialist who did not call for my review and my implant appointment was cancelled. I cried a lot as the oestrogen implant did not last the 6 months and my symptoms where coming back. The anxiety, mood swings and insomnia being the worst. My specialist finally got in touch and agreed to change me on to patches as taking progesterone orally was making me sick daily and I had lost 2 and a half stone in weight. I told several female doctors about my weight loss to only be asked "what's your secret" no one cared. It took over a week and a half for my prescription to be emailed to my GP. I called over two days to my GP crying and asking for a emergency appointment to discuss getting my patches just so I'd start to feel a bit normal again. I was breakdown crying to the Receptionist and told it did not merit an emergency appointment. I eventually had a doctor call me back the next day, to tell me the prescription had finally turned up and she'd do it now. I was told put a patch on today(friday) and change it again on Monday. No question of my mental health and the breakdown I told Reception I was having. Got my prescription only to notice (after I'd put a patch on) she had prescribed me the wrong patches. I need progesterone every day these did not have progesterone in all of them. I called back to be told no one was available to talk to me. I was crying again telling her I could not be left like this over the weekend. A male GP called me back and told me I was prescribed the wrong medication and he thinks the other DR went with my age rather than what it said on the prescription or my file. He asked why I was aggressive to the receptionist, I told him I wasn't aggressive I was upset no one was listening to be. He hung up on me mid sentence.

I have not been back to them since this. I don't have any confidence in them anymore. I've have 1 review in 4 years on HRT. I have now changed GP practice and being sent for more blood test as now I've lost 3 stone without anything changing. My new GP seems loads more friendlier and has not tried to force me on antidepressants. I'm hoping this is a turning point in my menopause journey now.”

“I was always aware of menopause. My grandmother married a widower who was widowed because his first wife gassed herself and daughter due to untreated menopause. He arrived home and found them.
I felt decidedly under the weather. This was in 2008. My menstrual cycle was still regular but I was suffering insomnia, flushes, depression and painful joints with urinary incontinence and no libido or sexual sensations.
I went to my local NHS practice. GP reluctant to prescribe without sign off from practice gynaecologist.
She immediately refused HRT, despite my wishes to try it. I was told to take a vitamin and with some malice she scrawled no HRT in my medical records.
Things ambled along for a short while. I cried and refused to get out of bed. My husband was seriously concerned. He begged me to see a specialist privately.
Eventually I saw Another specialist having had an unfortunate experience with a female doctor offering compounded hormones.
This doctor immediately added testosterone to my prescription and raised my estradiol gel. I use Sandrena.
Within a short period, I had my life back, not to mention my sex drive improved dramatically.
My husband featured in A magazine talking from a man’s point of view.
Now he is active in his government department helping to drive through new menopause friendly policies. I have often advised other women. The treatment from the NHS is often atrocious with anti depressants handed out like sweets”

“My first sign of menopause symptoms began when my periods stopped at age 42 followed very swiftly with night sweats and hot flushes. I am now 45 years old. I spoke with my GP who, after listening to my symptoms thought that I was probably peri menopausal. Initially I was worried about starting HRT and thought that I could get through it the natural way which I did until I was 44. Who was I kidding!! The turning point for me was watching the Davina menopause documentary last year which gave me the knowledge and confidence to do something about the awful symptoms I was experiencing. They all seemed to start at once, the flushes, sweats, anxiety, brain fog, itchy skin, lack of libedo, insomnia, weight gain, feeling drained and vertigo to name but a few. The day after I called one of the GP's (there is no menopause expert at my practice) and asked for a prescription of HRT. Initially the GP wanted to give me antidepressants which I refused. I knew that my symptoms were hormonal and that I was not depressed. She prescribed me patches that day. I have been using patches since July 2021. At the beginning I felt fabulous and most symptoms disappeared. I had my energy back and felt wonderful. Whoo hoo! Then the erratic bleeding started and then UTI,s. I feel like I've been on a roller coaster ride of emotions for the longest time. My poor husband is living with a ticking time bomb. One day I'm fine and the next day I am filled with rage. Recently though I have been told that my oestrogen is still quite low and my patches dose has been increased. I was also prescribed ovestin local oestrogen which has helped. I have a long way to go and still don't feel as good as I believe I should. I often look in the mirror and think who is she? I don't recognise myself any more. I used to be fun, outgoing and happy. Some days I don't even leave the house and those changes in me I have noticed scare the living daylights out of me. Fingers crossed I find a balance soon so that I can live my life and not feel like a shell of the person I once was. We've got this ladies. We can do this 👊”

“I struggled most mornings to just get out of bed. My job entails walking round and round a massive supermarket. Some days I felt like I was walking in slow-mo. Then one morning I struggled out of bed at my usual 4am alarm and I felt like every bone in my body was broken. I remember thinking it felt like I’d been crushed or hit by a truck and then was trying to just get up and carry on. This was my new normal. I seriously thought I had cancer of the bones and my husband said he couldn’t stand to see or hear me in pain anymore and begged me to go to the Dr’s. I saw a female doctor that week and she told me I was peri-menopausal and she wanted me to have the HRT patch. I swear that within a week I felt no more bone ache and within a month I was truly back to my youthful self again. I hadn’t realised the slow decline I’d been in and I feel like my oomph is back to the brim again.”

“I spoke to my doctor to ask who their head of women’s health was to which they replied they didn’t have anyone. The doctor I was allocated rang me for my telephone appointment and I spoke to her about getting myself on HRT (I’m nearly 46 and experiencing peri menopause symptoms - anxiety, itchy skin, disturbed sleep, fatigue, weight gain). She told me that the symptoms I was experiencing were not menopausal symptoms at all and that I should only take HRT if I am having hot flushes and vaginal dryness (apparently the only two symptoms of menopause and neither of which I am experiencing) and that it should only be taken until I’m 55. She also said that by taking it over 55 I have very high risks of breast and womb cancer as well as strokes and heart attacks and made it sound as though I shouldn’t really go on it at all. She even went on to quote other patients who had wished they had never gone onto HRT as they now had breast cancer as a result!! As you can imagine I was pretty angry at all the tripe she was spouting off!! Thankfully I have done a lot of research about menopause and HRT so I know she was wrong, but it scares me to think that someone who hasn’t done their research will believe this nonsense! I find it frustrating that in order to get the correct hormones to make life a lot better for me I have to pay to go privately. Surely this is a service that the NHS should provide just as much as if I were deficient in iron or some other vitamin?! Sadly I can’t afford to pay for a private consultation so I’m left just keeping my head above water as I try and manage day to day life as a peri menopausal woman hoping that one day I find a doctor who actually knows what they’re talking about!!”

I will be 50 this coming Saturday. And it's a birthday I never thought I would see. Just over a year ago, I transformed from an intelligent, life loving, confident, professional woman to an absolute wreck of a human being. I lost my job which I had been in for 10 years. I lost my home. I lost my partner. I lost all hope. I lost my mind. Literally. I stayed in bed last summer for 4 weeks and couldn't speak to a single soul. I went from being a busy, respected professional who was brilliant at what I did to a walking zombie. I was terrified that my brain - which has always been the tool of my trade - would never recover. I shut down completely. I couldn't even make a cup of tea. I had heart palpitations for 5 months solid. I didn't sleep for 3 weeks solid, despite sleeping tablets. And as for the so called 'hot sweats' - that's a ridiculous turn of phrase. I was on fire, having simultaneous panic attacks and thought I was having a heart attack, at least 2-3 times a day. And just had to lay on the kitchen floor until it eventually passed.

But I'm still here. And so, so thankful that I am. The reasons I am still here are that, firstly, I couldn't work out a way to commit suicide without making a mess. I wrote suicide notes. I researched it A LOT. but couldn’t find the right way. Secondly I have the most wonderful sister who was on suicide watch every day for months. She literally kept at least half an eye on me at all times - and when she couldn't she subcontracted the job! She is a truly wonderful person. Thirdly that, when I was finally made to go to my GP, my doctor was empathetic, kind, completely understanding and recommended a seriously high dose of HRT without any hesitation.

I recognise I was so so lucky. Nobody had prepared me for the absolute devastation menopause can cause in your life. My mother committed suicide aged 45. She was a wonderful, loving, brilliantly talented person. And she went nuts and took her own life. I was 19. For a LONG time, despite therapy, I struggled to wrap my head around how someone who was a selfless, loving mother to 3 (albeit by then grown up) children could just do this. Then, last year, I completely understood. Every day during that dark, dark period was absolutely terrifying and complete torture. And I never thought it would be any different. I could not locate a glimmer of joy in anything - despite all the efforts of the truly wonderful people that surrounded me. And they tried hard, believe me . I have a wonderful son who is now also grown up and independent - and despite knowing how my mother's suicide impacted on me, and the utter devastation it brings, it simply didn't matter. I had shut down completely and despite knowing the pain I would cause, suicide was absolutely the most logical - and only - solution. It seemed entirely inevitable. To end the absolute misery.

But. Here I am. Still alive. And embracing life in a way I never thought I would. My sister told me things would change. In those dark days, weeks, months, I didn't believe her. Not for a second. But she was right. Things started to change slowly after around 2 months of HRT gel (the patches didn't seem to work!) - and then, earlier this year, the change sped up. Significantly. And. I don't know if this re-birth is completely down to HRT gel - I’ve also taken up yoga (after vowing I never would), open water swimming (which has been excellent for sorting my nervous system and ridding me of palpitations), and had more therapy. And, I am now LOVING life - more so than before the breakdown. I’ve started my own business which is gong ridiculously well, and my brain is properly motoring. I have more freedom than ever in my life, more purpose, more stimulation, much more confidence- and more satisfaction than I think I've felt for decades.

I also, for the first time ever, have made a forward plan to work out how I want to spend my last 20 or so years on this plant. And despite not having had sex for a year and absolutely not wanting to get involved ever again, I met a person 2 days ago, by chance, that I could actually imagine wanting to have sex with. This is serious progress. And it really doesn't matter if we don't even get it on - just knowing I could feel desire in that way was the best birthday present ever (I really really used to love sex!)

So - the shortage of HRT gel terrifies me. I do not think I could do another episode like last year. I've resorted to private prescriptions (managed to find 1 UK supplier on a luck day with stock!). So for now I'm ok - but I can't help thinking that, had my mother had the support and medication I was so fortunate to receive, she'd probably still be alive - and would have been a part of my son's life.

I get that menopause impacts on different women differently. For me it is not a 'lifestyle choice' or a 'nice to have'. It really is medication I know I need not to return to the desolation of last year, and resulting inevitability of suicide,

I am hoping the supply chains get sorted. If this condition happened to men I have no doubt that every town fountain across the UK would be pumping out free oestrogel. But it isn't a male issue. And I am so so grateful to this campaign that we make it an issue for the whole of society. Even the capitalists have to recognise that losing half your workforce at 50 is bonkers - especially when they represented the most experience, skilled, patient and smart half!

Finally, just to say, if you're in that dark place just now, know that things really will change. I know this is so so hard to believe. Bu is is true.

Good luck with your journeys, and I hope you get the support, help and medication you need.”

“I have been on HRT successfully for 4 years. Prescribed by a wonderful GP who suggested I take it. Sadly she no longer works at my practice.
I needed a prescription review and was actually given a face to face appointment yesterday. The conversation was, “do you have any menopause symptoms”… my answer …”no”… her response…. Why don’t you stop taking it then? I was very shocked….she said “you can just stop taking it and see how it goes? “ My reply was… “not a chance”!
Was this because of the shortage??”

“At the age of 38 I went through early menopause or medical menopause as it’s called due to cancer surgery. I was shocked by the complete lack of help or advice given from the the medical profession. The symptoms and issues I was experiencing were almost an after thought to them at at time when I felt I was being hit by a bus by them. My prescriptions are super expensive and often unavailable when I go to collect so I am left waiting while my unbearable symptoms start to increase by the day.”

“I hadn’t realised how much HRT had changed my life until a brief period without it. I was experiencing some bleeding and had some polyps removed. The (male) gynaecologist told me to stop using my patches and wait 2 weeks before talking to the doctor about changing my prescription. During that time brain fog descended and my anxiety went through through the roof. My GP was thankfully brilliant and gave me a new prescription straight away, it took another two weeks but I’m now back to my usual calm and cheerful self.”

“In my late 40s I started having anxiety attacks and hot flushes. The flushes happened every 45 minutes 24/7. The anxiety attacks came on without warning. My sleep was also affected and I rarely got more than 4 or 5 hours sleep and never without waking several times. Fortunately I had a wonderful GP and she put me on an estrogen replacement as I already had a mirena coil fitted. For 10 years I was symptom free but then I was told I had to come off the hrt as 10 years was the maximum time allowed. I was nearly 60 so assumed I the hot flushes and anxiety would be gone but sadly not. Within weeks the hot flushes had returned. For the last 6/7 years I have been managing them with herbal supplements - red clover, sage and evening primrose. Whilst they helped, I was still getting 6 + flushes a day. It’s not just a case of getting hot but they made me dizzy and nauseous as well. Last year I was at the end of my tether and went to see my GP also a woman but not the original one. She felt unable to prescribe hrt because of my age (66) but she did refer me to the menopause clinic in our local hospital. Unfortunately their waiting list was so long that six months later I still hadn’t heard anything. In the end I decided to go privately and saw a fantastic doctor ( who, in fact had started up the menopause clinic in the local hospital but is now retired from the NHS) who explained about the new body-identical hrt and how much safer they are. She prescribed estrogen patches and progesterone tablets and I’m now hot flush free! My sleep pattern isn’t perfect but it’s definitely better as are the anxiety attacks.”

“I'm now 63 and post menopausal. But like many women, who are hardly mentioned, I had a late menopause at around 60. When I had my Mirena coil removed at 53 I was still having periods and was prescribed the contraceptive pill, and told I could take it continuously so I wasn't bleeding. My GP did annual hormone tests and was advised by a hospital gynae to just monitor the situation. My test 6 months before my 60th birthday showed hormone levels high enough for me to be in peri menopause but the one done 6 months after showed I was post menopausal, and so I was told I could stop taking the pill.
I was ok for almost a year before the hot flushes, night sweats, drop in libido, weight gain, skin infections, broken sleep and low moods began. I spoke to my GP, it was during covid so on the phone, and the first thing she told me was that as I was over 60 she couldn't consider HRT. She prescribed a vasodilator for the flushes, which hasn't helped; and was a bit dismissive of the libido and low mood issues.
So I have just been bumbling along, trying to eat well and exercise (although I often don't have the enthusiasm for anything other than sitting reading with a big bar of chocolate). My husband has been supportive but is starting to think there are other things going on because, really, I should be "over this" by now.
We are moving house shortly and so I will see what my new GP has to say. I have more evidence of my symptoms now so fingers crossed for a bit more help.”

“I am 46 and suffering debilitating anxiety with physical symptoms down to peri menopause. Time off work, struggling at home. I’m unable to pay for a private menopause specialist. Please help.”

“I am now post-menopause. The first thing I would like to say is that I feel more hopeful for women now approaching peri-menopause, because of the raised awareness of the issues through great communities such as this one.
When I approached peri-menopause around 12 years ago I was ill prepared. Honestly, I'd never heard the term peri-menopause - I had vague expectations of hot flushes and, perhaps, bad temper. In reality, I was floored by my symptoms which affected me, detrimentally, at work and socially. At the time I didn't seek help or explore HRT. There was much less information out there, then, and HRT was medically frowned upon. I applaud the work that is now being done to increase awareness of menopause generally and particularly in the workplace. My confidence at work plummeted and I retreated into the background - as a result I missed opportunities and promotions, for sure. Sadly, I look back at my fifties as a 'lost' decade...”

“I've suspected I was entering peri menopause after the birth of my daughter almost 14 years ago. I would of been 36. It was brushed off. Things like itchy skin just not feeling quire right a subtle change in my periods. For years I was told your not old enough itchy skin has nothing to do with it. I often felt I was a teenager again . The ups & downs of mood extreme cramps heavy periods so bad I couldn't get out of the house or I'd have to get clean clothes somehow if it happened at work . I remember talking to a client feeling the blood running down my legs praying they wouldnt see . Having to leave a queue for the same reason knowing i was leaving a blood trail for all to see. The only reason I managed to get HRT was because I was about to turn 50 & my periods were irregular!!! I had to have an ultrasound sound 1st too due to my heavy periods which took 3 months . I knew the heaviness was due to undiagnosed endrometreosis. It had been questioned throughout my teens & beyond!! I finally got a confirmed diagnosis!!!! Its only taken over 35 years!!! Can you imagine what it's been like. Add PCOS on top of severe pms too. Nothing for any of it no help. Just as well its what some women have & your Hispanic/Latino!! I was in hospital at the age of 49 as PCOS was giving me a hard time & I knew some cysts had burst. It took them 24 hours to do a scan!! 24 hours of absolute agony only for them then to say it looks like you've had some cysts burst as we can see a lot of fluid. Yep too right you can I told you that from the beginning I've had them since I was a teenager. Then I get some pain relief. But nothing since . Again despite the PCOS being an issue again PMS & Endremetreosis + perimenopause I've feel like I've had to fight justify & yet still ignored . I've been left x3 without HRT since I started. The last time for a month due to shortages. (The other 2 because the Dr's couldn't get it right!!) It's been a month of he'll. The impact to my digestive system unbearable to the point I could hardly eat or drink.
I also have EDS FND , Dystonia CDH & Dystautonia. This means some symptoms of perimenopause are masked by others. Note these diagnoses have only occurred in the last 12 years the last 4 in the last 2 -6 months.
All the time before nothing. Just brushed off....Still the same now.
I'm writing this in bed with severe cramps not really knowing if I'm going to get a period yet still every month ovulation cramps & period pains regardless of any period.”

“Told by my GP I was depressed. Suffered for a year before finally going back and asking to see someone who could help and not the GP I had previously seen. Turns out my GP was a so called professional in HRT!! Finally given HRT patches by the practice nurse and now six months on I feel amazing.”

“36 years old at the start of the first covid lockdown, I fell head first into hot flushes, awful skin and random bouts of anxiety. The hot flushes scared me, having had a thyroid issue previously with half of it removed I knew flushes could be a sign of something seriously wrong with my thyroid so immediately got in touch with my consultant and managed to get a scan (- battle given it was in a period of madness). Thyroid got the ok but no further along for these awful symptoms. Along came sleepless nights, tossing and turning unable to regulate my temperature and night time anxiety at a peak. I questioned if the drama of lockdown was adding to this and after weeks of having to listen to podcasts to get to sleep and when I woke rapidly shoving the headphones back in praying I would get back to sleep I really began to worry. Toilet trips several times a night had become normal, dry eyes needing eye drops I put down to extra computer work joining in with the nation to a new way of working with zoom calls and remote working now the norm. After a 1am panic attack stood in the garden with my husband crying and trying to breathe, I said I really need to get to the bottom of this. My skin was worse than ever, my GP said it could be rosacea and maybe this was also affecting my flushing and prescribed with azalaic acid. It never worked much and I still use it now but my skin is worse than ever.
Months later I complained yet again to another GP about the flushing, sleepless night and more and was sent back to my consultant who tested me for a range of autoimmune diseases including lupus. Having already been diagnosed with Graves’ disease and then Hashimoto’s years before I of course through I was having a relapse into a condition that had been managed pretty well to now.
Tests all rushed back clear. I then headed back to the GP now nearly 18 months after my first symptoms. I talked about how I was feeling and how the anxiety I had suffered with at low levels mostly in previous years (worse during my thyroid imbalance) had now come back with a vengeance. I was prescribed antidepressants. I left feeling a little rocked. I didn’t mention low mood and I didn’t feel depressed.
A week in and I had a full blown panic attack whilst driving with my son, it really shook me. I went to the GP shaking and she told me to stop them immediately. I did.
I returned to the GP to disucss my ongoing hip and back pain which was so debilitating and I had been struggling with for 4 months. I then had a hip x Ray - all ok. A dexa bone scan- all ok. I had a series of blood tests and was sat down with my husband and told I was being referred on a 2 week wait with suspected Multiple Myeloma due to an elevated blood test and my symptoms. My family were in shock. 1 week late I get a call from my consultant whom I called for advice who offered to speak to his haematology colleague - he advised my levels were elevated enough and they didn’t suspect myeloma! The rollercoaster of emotions was unreal.
A few weeks later my symptoms now improving I took my mother and the first female GP I saw asked lots of questions to my mother and me. She said this could be hormonal and I asked could it be menopause as I had IVF previously and had Ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome producing 27 eggs. She said looking at my bloods they were ok but recommend I read up on PMDD and grab a book called the Hormone repair manual. I did just that. I read it and instantly knew it wasn’t PMDD. My GP called me as promised after more blood tests and advised me that she hadn’t mentioned but she worked privately for a menopause clinic and she was going to discuss my case with them.
Another week later and she called to say she had been through my bloods for the previous year and found some very high and lows of my oestradiol levels. She said this alongside my symptoms was enough to say I was likely Perimenopausal and she would get permission from my designated GP for a 3 month trial of HRT. I was simply overwhelmed. I’m a long way from back to me but my excruciating pain has nearly gone and I’m making headway. I don’t get up to wee throughout the night and I don’t need earphones in to sleep.”

“I sailed through the menopause – or so I thought. I’d had a Mirena coil and hadn’t had periods for a number of years so when I had it removed at 52 and my periods didn’t restart I thought that was it. Hurray, over and done.

At 54 I started a new job. I work in a technical job in IT, very much male dominated and most of those men were younger than me. I’ve always loved my job and the best part about it has always been the continual learning. The new job was in a place I’d wanted to work for years and involved new technologies and a chance to add to my skills. I was overjoyed at the opportunity.

Except that I couldn’t do it. Nothing made sense. My brain just couldn’t take in the new technology, my confidence ebbed away. My anxiety increased. I would disappear to the toilet and cry. I couldn’t sleep. I gained weight. I became snappy and irritable with my family. In addition I had lots of physical problems – a frozen shoulder, hip and knee issues and migraines.

Eventually I contacted my GP, thinking I must be depressed. Immediately she suggested I try HRT patches. It took a while but HRT did help. My sleep improved almost immediately and the fog began to clear and I began to understand the new technologies. The anxiety and lack of confidence persist to an extent but I’m getting there.

I couldn’t and never have talked to my manager about this. It was an all male team apart from me. He is the kindest, most understanding person and I’m sure he would have been concerned and tried to help – but I was just plain embarrassed.”

“I am early 50s and up until a couple of years ago felt amazing, healthy and relatively fit. Periods had stopped probably three years previous and I had a few menopause symptoms that I could deal with . However a year ago I was diagnosed with bilateral frozen shoulders and went through hell with the pain, they are still not completely fixed but I'm getting there. Then came the head to toe body aches, if I turned over in the night I was in agony and getting up in the morning I felt like an 80 year old! My concentration particularly at work was suffering and I had brain fog, sleep was all over the place and felt very low. I spoke to my gp on several occasions mainly in relation to the aches because it was something I was finding harder and harder to cope with. I thought I had an illness that was causing this because it had come on quite quickly. The gp did not want to prescribe hrt, no real reason as i was on no other medication, had no history of cancer but she told me to take pain killers. My employer had several free menopause awareness sessions in October and one I attended had a private menopause specialist presenting, it clicked immediately everything she was explaining was me, finally someone understood what was happening. She wasn't promoting her services as a private doctor so I looked her up online and found that her clinic was able to do remote video consultation . I contacted and within a month I was seen, the appointment was 45 mins and so very useful. She prescribed body identical hrt which was delivered within 12 hours. The private specialist also wrote to my GP advising what she prescribed and requested it to be put on repeat on the NHS. I started my hrt mid November and by Christmas I started to feel more like me. My brain fog was improving, I started to sleep more at night, I wasn't nodding off in the day, my skin had improved, the aches were still present but not as severe and even my shoulders felt easier. Within 3 months I felt back to how I like to feel, energetic and happy until I needed to get a repeat prescription as my Dr will only prescribe one month at a time. I had a text from the surgery to say they were unable to fulfill my prescription due to shortage immediately I panicked, I could not return to how I felt just months before. They suggested I changed to a patch but knowing how my skin reacts to plasters I declined and went back down the private route. I paid for 3 months supply (not much more expensive than the nhs) and hope that it will see me through until the shortages have been fixed. If I get those same symptoms back sadly I will not be able to work, I have no idea how I got thru the last time being awake half the night and then only going back to sleep as the alarm was about to sound. I'm keeping everything crossed that the shortages will be rectified soon.”

“One morning I woke, I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror and cried, I had no idea who this woman was, I didn't recognise her at all, she didn't look like me, and I didn't feel like me. I sat on the floor for an hour, sobbing.

I was scared, confused, and felt incredibly lost. I was 38

I went to the doctors more times than I can remember and finally
after four years and what felt like a weekly increase in symptoms and being told I was depressed and it was all in my mind along with "you are too young to be going through the Menopause." I finally discovered I was going through the Peri-Menopause, all the symptoms of the menopause but still having periods...Yay

When I began the peri-menopause at 38 I thought I was on the fast track to becoming ‘old’ my skin began drying, I put on a pound or ten, my memory became foggy, and I couldn’t see any way back.

I cried, and cried more times than I can count

I cried because I wasn’t ready, I cried because it wasn’t my choice, I cried because I was scared, I cried because I had lost the girl I was.

I cried because I was alone and had no idea what was going on

I felt like giving in, I began drinking more because what else was there to do, eating anything and everything because what did it matter it was only an extra pound or two, slowly the love for myself faded

It was then at my lowest that the light began to creep in.

I sat on the bottom step of my stairs and cried (again)

I ask my self the question ‘What do I want from life, My life?’

It was then the that doors and windows opened and the light started flooding in.

My why is to live a very long, healthy happy and purposeful life, and at 102 to be able to do what I can do today and more.

I liked the sound of this, It sparked hope

If I had any chance of this happening I had to pull myself together and make some serious changes.

I understood that I was going to age no matter what, but I didn’t need to get old.

Grow old gracefully some may call it.

I tried HRT a couple of times but it didn’t like me, chest pains and increased blood pressure and resting heart rate.. I didn’t need anymore symptoms so I finally stopped

I knew I had to make lifestyle changes

I quit the booze, cleaned up my eating, remembered that I actually love exercising, and reading, and funnily the more I read the more I remembered, our brain is a muscle after all.

Then something amazing happened, I got my power back, the more I stopped making excuses and started making choices the happier I become

No magic pill just a girl with a goal, a dream and a daily intention to make it happen

Love the season and the skin your in ❤️

Together we’ve got this.”

“Menopause for me started at age 50. The only symptom I had was my periods started to be erratic. The usual on, off, flooding one month to nothing the next. And then stopping altogether At 57 June 2021 I started to feel unwell on and off. Didn't even click that could be Menopause as I had just had my 2nd covid vaccine so thought it was that. The worse symptom for me was fluctuating anxiety and I think I was spiralling into depression. The feeling was awful I felt so low. Didn't want to get out of bed in the morning but did to go to work. The anxiety feeling was awful like I was shaking inside in my chest. This was there one minute, gone the next. Up and down all the time. Other symptoms; I had palpitations, aching joints, brittle nails. I phoned my GP, eventually I got an appointment to go for blood tests. When I eventually got blood tests back (that's another story) I was told my oestrogen and vitamin D was low. My GP started me on Evorel 50 combi patches in September 21 and vit D supplement. After 6 months of side effects, changing my HRT etc., I am now settled on 0.5mg Sandrena gel and Utrogestan 100mg. Initially i felt my GP started me on too high a dose of patches and then Oestogel pump. I was experiencing sore breasts and leg cramps mainly. Because of HRT shortages I was changed to Sandrena gel. My GP Initially gave me 1.0mg and 0.5mg to apply daily. I decided I would just apply 0.5mg daily to see how I got on. I started this on 2nd March 2022 and seem to be getting on with this. No side effects. Although certain time of the month I get a couple of nights where I wake early with very mild anxiety. I just keep my eyes closed think of nice things try to shake this off and most of the time I can drop back to sleep before my alarm goes off to get up for work. It is now 23rd April and I do tend to feel so much better 😌 I was told have to give at least 3 months for body to get used to HRT and to settle. I did up my Sandrena one day due to a bit of mild anxiety to 1.0mg. As soon as I did leg cramp came back. I reduced the next day to 0.5mg and after couple days leg cramp gone again. Just shows dose too high. But I may have to increase at later date. My advise to anyone starting HRT make sure your GP doesn't start you on too high a dose. Start low then increase if you have too. I just can't believe I went for 7 years without any symptoms, to this. The only other thing that worries me now is supply shortages. The government/health minister really need to pull their finger out and do something about it. Has been going on for far too long and they are treating women like 2nd class citizens when it comes to our health and HRT. We cannot do without this medication.”

“I'm 49. I have been taking HRT for 6 months. My Dr wanted to prescribe anti depressants for my symptoms which I refused. I was insistent I wanted to try HRT. My symptoms were insomnia and low mood. I had also skipped 2 periods in the space of nine months and put two and two together. I have only just switched from patches to the gel and Utrogestan. There is a problem with supply of Oestrogel and Sandrena. The initial GP I saw clearly had no idea what these were and offered tablets. He reluctantly prescribed me with patches and dismissed micronised progesterone. I'm now under a new GP at the surgery who is far better informed.
I have been shocked at the lack of training in the NHS After telling the first GP how much better I felt on HRT I felt that he was only concerned with getting me to stop it as soon as possible and said anti depressants helped with hot flushes, despite the fact that I have never suffered with them! A couple of weeks after starting HRT I felt that a light had been switched back on in my head. I don't think I realised just how low I had felt before taking the HRT.”

I was in my early 30's when a full Hysterectomy threw me into Menopause. Leaving the hospital with a leaflet and a box of Oestrogen only HRT, I was merely told, my recovery time and that I'd be on HRT for probably the next 20 years!

With very little information or education, I had no idea what was to come. I had suffered two decades of Endometriosis and Adenomyosis, trauma from 19 surgeries and at no point did anyone sit me down and explain 1) What Menopause would really feel like 2) The proper after-care I should experience 3) How I should be supported going forward being so young 4) Offer any mental support in how this might have affected me. Crazy right?

As my body healed from surgery the symptoms of Menopause started. I would experience the usual flushes, night sweats and it started to effect my sleep. My body shape was starting to change and I would feel fatigued easily, exercise slowed down as I tried to save energy to run around after the children and go to work.

Then something happened that I really wasn't expecting. I felt like the plates I would usually juggle, were starting to fall. I would forget things, the kids club timings, things my husband had told me, conversations I'd had about projects at work. I just couldn't get to things. It was like my inbox was full. I became so irritable, angry and explosive at times, hiding my anxiety, the feeling of not belonging and all whilst not having a clue why I felt like I did. I honestly felt like I was losing my mind.

With relationships starting to crumble, I felt I wasn't any good at my job, a good Mum, Wife...or person! I was lost...

Driving the kids to school one day, I remember not being able to hear the music, I was numb to their usual squabbling and as the sun shone in my eyes, I remember thinking, I just couldn't be bothered to squint, pull down the visor or press the break...in that moment I wanted to die!

I was off work for six months after that day, with a phased return it took me almost a year to get back into the swing of things! In that time I learnt that diminishing hormone levels, not the right dosage of HRT and no support around my surgery was a huge part of what had happened! It took me to get that low, over twenty therapy sessions, for my family to nearly break and for me to temporarily leave work for that to even come up!

With awareness came improvements and mentally I grew stronger. For a while all seemed better, but despite getting back to work, something still wasn't right physically.

That was a few years ago and just 5 months ago I finally got to speak to an NHS Menopause doctor through a new clinic at my GP surgery. Elated, we spoke, I felt listened to and she wanted to know my history. Her diagnosis after blood tests was that my Oestrogen levels were dangerously low and it seemed I wasn't absorbing the Oestrogen through tablet/gel/patch (I had tried all over the years). She informed I would need an 'Oestrogen implant', I was then referred beck to the GP to set the wheels in motion hurrah!

I was also put onto Progesterone, in which the Menopause Doctor was shocked I had not been put on this from day one due to the risk of Endometriosis returning. With only ever have one set of bloods done before and no knowledgable checks of low levels, she said "You've really suffered medical negligence here!", that struck me hard.

What came next was a text message (like some sort of bad break up!) to inform that I couldn't have the implant, geographically it wasn't on offer to me..that was it!
So where did that leave me? By this point I was a mess, with physical symptoms through the roof including, aching joints, severe fatigue, brain fog and heart palpitations, I couldn't believe what I was reading.

My options - Go on a NHS wait list for a hospital 2 hours away, or go up the road to a private clinic and pay £500!

Feeling like I was really struggling and now mentally some demons were start to arise again, I opted for Private. I had the most amazing consultation and paid for the HRT Implant to be ordered in.

That was 5 weeks ago. I'm still waiting for the HRT implant to come! Meanwhile still awaiting any news from the NHS side.

I'm left physically and mentally at rock bottom. I'm struggling to function and right now have had to again take some time off work, in order to sustain energy to function and look after the children. This is not living!
Not only do I have the concern of when I will get this implant, I also question, what happens when it needs replacing every 6 months? Will I even get it? What about support and care...It petrifies me.

I do not fit the usual box on Menopause! People like me are often not seen or heard much in the world of media, we're not recognised on medical forms, or Menopause checklists, HRT checks at GP surgeries, often having to be the one education the professionals rather than the other way around as to why we're menopausal at such a young age.

For me it isn't a natural stage or transition. It is medical a hormone deficiency that needs proper care, knowledge, support and medication.

Imagine what the worst case scenario here is...and then imagine the best. Which one should any human feel?

“My friends noticed my symptoms before I did nearly four years ago. I suffered from debilitating brain fog, lack of focus, loss of confidence, low mood, poor sleep and at times, chronic anxiety. I thought I was having some kind of mid life breakdown and at times, dementia. I left my job of 9 years because I just didn't feel I could function any longer. I've been on HRT patches on and off for nearly 4 years, and need regular check ups to see what symptoms are worse/better. I still feel there is room for improvement, but it's a very expensive experience and it just shouldn't be.”

“Off the back of watching Let’s all Talk Menopause webinars, I've been able to work with my GP to join the dots of all my perimenopause symptoms going back 7 YEARS and I am starting HRT in a couple weeks! It is such a relief to know that I'm not a hypochondriac (as I was pretty much told by most doctors) and I am SO looking forward to feeling better. Life changing!”

“I explained all of my menopause symptoms to my GP and asked if I could take HRT. She said no and offered me antidepressants.”

“I was officially diagnosed premenopausal early 2020, after years of complaint about my irregular period. I'm in my late 30s.
I was referred to a gynecologist who prescribed HRT. I started the course of the treatment but soon discovered I reacted to the medication badly. I tried to get back in touch with the doctor that prescribed it, left numerous messages with their reception but got nowhere. Follow-up telephone appointments were not kept either. I then went back to my GP for help, they sent me back to the consultant that prescribed it. It's two years later and I'm not on any treatment. My sleep has suffered and thus affecting every other aspect of my life.

No one is willing to help. I just get tossed from pillar to post. It's disappointing.'“

“I went through the menopause at 43 and have been taking HRT since then (6 years). I’ve experienced many menopausal symptoms and have a family history of osteoporosis. My experience on NHS support has been very hit and miss depending on which GP, pharmacist or nurse I get to speak to. Many only have a general overview of menopause and treatment. I’ve had to arm myself with information to be able to steer or question treatment and/or symptoms. I’ve also paid double prescription charges for HRT as it included two ingredients, both oestrogen and progesterone. I’m currently on a waiting list for a menopause clinic whom I am hoping will prescribe testosterone as my local GP’s will not prescribe this directly.”

“Went to GP with very obvious perimenipausal symptons who had my hormonal blood results showing hormone changes still insisted on putting me on antidepressants even though the surgery had its own Menopause Nurse; I eventually got an appointment with her after being very persistent & who was shocked & surprised that the GP should be prescribing antidepressants for this instead of referring to her!”

“I started the peri-menopause 5 years ago and suffered terribly with prolonged and heavy bleeding. This resulted in time off work as when it was at its worst I couldn’t leave the house. Initially I received very poor advice from my GP, dismissive and a complete lack of sympathy. Eventually after being really persistent I was referred to a consultant and had an ablation to burn away the lining of my womb which made a massive difference to the bleeding I was experiencing. However the other symptoms remained, night sweats, exhaustion, total lack of libido, low mood etc. Due to lockdown I didn’t feel it was appropriate to burden the nhs with this but in January I had a phone consultation with my GP and started HRT. I was initially put on patches but had a severe skin reaction (these were a combined oestrogen and progesterone patch) I came off these a month ago and put on oestrogen gel and a separate progesterone pill. The biggest issue for me is that I now have to pay every 3 months for this prescription which as it’s 2 separate items I pay double. I gave up my job due to my menopause which was a well paid (35k) position as I just couldn’t cope with the symptoms and do a good job. I’m not on benefits so still pay for my prescriptions but have no income, relying on savings. Why do women have to pay out like this just to feel normal? It’s so unfair and like contraception should be free or at the very least a one off charge annually. I really hope that the government can see the depth of desperation many women feel and will rethink their decision regarding prescription charges and accessibility.”

“When I started getting symptoms of the Menopause I went to see my Doctor who did a test and confirmed that I was indeed going through ‘the change'. When I asked him if I could have HRT he checked my notes and declined my request due to the fact that my Mother has suffered from Thrombosis in her past. This was on my notes as it was a question asked when I went onto the Contraceptive Pill years before. I asked him what I should do to help with my symptoms of hot sweats, sleepless nights, anxiety etc. He said to look into the natural supplements and to drink at least a pint of milk a day to help with maintaining my bones. I started to take over the counter Sleeping Tables and consequently got addicted to them. The pint of milk a day didn't help much either other than helping to put on weight. I feel I was very let down by my doctor and was left to suffer in silence.”

“I contacted my Doctor to ask for help and advise when my menopause symptoms were getting worse. I WAS OFFERED ANTIDEPRESSANTS!!!!! I collected my prescription, even though I knew I wasn't going to take them. The side effects were worse than my actual symptoms. I felt slightly pressured by my GP to "at least try them" and it seemed as though she was only focused on my low moods (which weren't THAT bad) and dismissed my other symptoms completely. I really felt like I wasn't being taken seriously or properly listened to (brushed off) and it did put me off speaking to any other GP about it.”

“In 2011 I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer at the age of 43 and received Chemotherapy and Radiotherapy treatment. With the onset of this, Menopause was brought on quicker and I’ve been suffering ever since. I’m unable to have HRT like most women and have been left out by not having any help. I’ve had years of suffering from Depression, Anxiety, Mood Swings, Flushes and Night Sweats to mention just a few and Suicidal thoughts. I have been prescribed a high dose of Anti Depressants, but finding it’s not working as well now. My partner does not listen to how I’m feeling and looks at me as though I’m inhuman and I’m crying most days, feeling frustrated that no-one is listening to me. I feel alone and that I can’t live my life, I’m just existing.”

“It's hugely disappointing that the GPs at my NHS medical centre didn't recognise insomnia and anxiety as symptoms of perimenopause. Why isn't menopause routinely considered as a possible diagnosis for women in their late forties and fifties? Going part-time at work helped me cope. Nor did my GP know the HRT equivalent doses between gel and patches. My local pharmacist and Louise Newsom's balance app have been really helpful.”

“I have quite a few symptoms and after speaking to my friend who was experiencing similar symptoms realised I was going through the menopause and must have been peri-menopausal for quite a few years without knowing. I contacted my Dr but I spoke to a locum Dr who said I can go on antidepressants or start using HRT. I didn't know anything about HRT only that there were patches so this is what I tried. After still feeling the same if not worse I spoke to another locum who advised to finish taking the HRT patches after 3 months to see if there was any change. My worse symptoms are hot flushes, headaches, brain fog, skin flare ups especially itchy skin at night time. I have other symptoms but not as bad. I spoke to another locum after 3 months who said to try a tablet so I started these without knowing I might bleed during this time (I'm on the mini pill so didn't think this was possible & have stayed on it for the progesterone). After not having a period for over 20 years I started bleeding quite heavily for over a week & had to google if this was normal? After a few months my hot flushes were just the same and by now I class this as my worst symptom as this has stopped me from going out due to sweating in public also. My head drips. I spoke to another locum Dr who said she can up my tablets to a higher dose but if this didn't work then it would have to be reviewed again. During this time I've had 2 lots of blood tests which were pointless as they came back normal. I'm now in my 8th/9th month and I'm still having really bad hot flushes and feeling generally unwell, fed up and frustrated by this. After watching many programs on the menopause and HRT plus trying to research things myself with my friends help I'm no further ahead with getting these symptoms under control. My anxiety and stress levels are high. This is affecting my day to day life and I don't seem to be getting the advice I need. I've just changed my Dr's surgery and they have menopause nurses and I have an appointment which I've had to wait for as they get booked up but I'm really hoping they can help me as I'm desperate now. How do I know what my body is absorbing as it feels like the last 8/9 months of the HRT patch & tablets haven't done anything and I'm still suffering lots.”

“I've had little if any help from any GP with my symptoms of pre menopause such as dry skin, dry hair, scalp and dry nails pus many headaches, fatigue, hot sweats at night, disturbed sleep, ridges in nails and irregular and heavy periods.”

“Firstly went to my doc 5 yrs ago saying my period stopped and feeling depressed, not myself etc, I was made redundant, evicted from my flat, split with my boyfriend, had to sell my car etc, could only afford a grubby bedsit on my own and all in the space of 3 months, he gave me antidepressant (I did not take) Went back to doc still feeling v low. He said i have no periods due to stress and gave me another antidepressant. I did not take them and I explained again I still have no period, I said would take them as he would not give me a sick note otherwise. Then I needed another sick note, went back to a woman doc as my other doc was not in, she did not believe me that I was depressed etc, I broke down again, I had to beg her to give me a sick note otherwise I could not pay rent and she wrote me a prescription for more antidepressants. I felt suicidal leaving that day, the doctor did not believe me. I did not take the pills, I was thinking of saving all of them. The pandemic hit. My isolation is still here with me, I rarely see anyone anymore, I dread going back to my surgery cos nobody believes me, the only thing that is keeping me alive is my parents as I don't want them upset but they live in another country. Everyday I wake up (lucky if I can get 3 hours sleep a night), thinking I want my life to end as i feel stir crazy. My confidence is at a low, i uses to be so vibrant, laugh and enjoy life, now i just feel like i am meant to be dead. I am tired of living in fear and i maintain myself as best as i can bùt i know i am not me anymore. Anxiety, lack of sleep, lack of appetite, hair loss, vaginal dryness, problems with concentration, feeling hot and then cold, and crying. Deep breathes help sometimes. I don't know if I can handle another year of this torture, i am 49. Even afraid to pick up the phone to get a doctors appointment now terrifies me.”

“At the age of 45 , completely out of the blue, I had severe suicidal thoughts - to the point I was planning how I would end everything. I had never experienced anything like it in my life before. I went to my GP and was offered anti depressants and counselling- neither of which I wanted or felt I needed. I asked if it could be hormonal and was told blood tests were unreliable and the conversation ended there. I walked out of the surgery wanting to truly end it all and I now realise that GP really failed me that day!!! Fortunately I have since armed myself with all the information I needed and asked another GP about HRT - she was far more informed and I was prescribed oestrogel and progesterone capsules. I haven’t looked back since and I thank the likes of all the women in the world who are using their voices to fight for the cause - thank you!”

“I have suffered for many years but I did not realise I was peri menopause. I had never heard of it. My hot flushes up to recently have left me soaking wet and embarrassed. I tried HRT years ago by taking tablets but I had heavy periods so the doctor took me off them. I have researched menopause myself using the balance app and the menopause charity app and decided to speak to the GP. I am now on Evorel Conti and feel much better, but my GP it seems is still working off the old rules and regulations. The GP service desperately need more up to date education where HRT is concerned. Why are we still second class citizens?.”

“When I was 19 I was told I'd go through early menopause. I fought with my G.P for 10 years to test my hormones only to be told "you're far too young for menopause". 10 years of symptoms, 10 years of complaining and they finally agreed when I was 29 to test my Hormone levels. 3 blood test over 6 weeks confirmed I was post menopause. I was told to start hrt the day I found out. No explaining anything, no telling me anything that might happen, no offer of counselling, nothing. I'm now 34 and I'm still arguing with doctors. I had my hrt changed a month ago and instead of reading my letter from the hospital, my doctor prescribed me the wrong hrt because of my age and not by what was on my file. I was on the verge of a breakdown crying to my G.Ps receptionist asking for an emergency appointment, to be told no, it wasn't an emergency. I have had no oestrogen in 8 weeks and my symptoms where coming back and my anxiety was through the roof. Again I was told no and even had a doctor hang up on me. I couldn't face every going back to that practice. I registered with a new doctor this week. I've lost 2 and a half stone in 6 month and when I explained this to my old female doctor she only asked me "what's your secret". I have my first appointment today with my new doctor and she was lovely. The only one to listen to me from start to finish and offer the help and support I wanted. She's sending me for loads of blood test that I've asked for before and told I did not need. I'm hoping this will be the start of the help I need because this has been the hardest 10 years of my life having no one listen to me or offer any support.”

“Approx 10 years ago I had a fybroid so had to have a hysterectomy, I then started the menopause and my GP was excellent and prescribed me HRT which worked really well and reduced all the symptoms of the menopause. In 2016 I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my breast care consultant would not let me have HRT. My life has been heavily impacted, serious hot flushes night sweats, I am currently prescribed Gabapentin which have helped with the hot flushes. My frustration is not every one can take HRT - please consider us.”

“I am 37, had a hysterectomy at 33 due to adenomoysis. Never was I once told i would go into the menopause. I struggled for years until a male Dr said it to me. On HRT now and I've my life back.”

“Three years ago at 56 I suffered from insomnia weight loss anxiety. As I'd been taken off combined pill I new I would be in chemical menopause. Despite at least six attempts asking GP for HRT I was refused because I had no hot flushes. Over the period of 4 months I lost over 3 stones and was like a skeleton. Hi en sleeping pills and antidepressants. Several types but nothing worked. Was told I had clinical depression yet never had depression in my life. Became so I'll and dehydrated, no food no sleep I took my first overdose. Without a doubt I intended to die. Was out in a psychiatric hospital for four months. More medication, hallucinating. I tried another twice that year 2019 to die. It took me to 2021 to finally obtain HRT and felt better every day since. I lost a job I loved. Lost rationships with family, friends, lost my confidence, lost so much and put my husband of one year through a living hell. Too many women are still dying and suffering debilitating effects. Yes things are changing but not quick enough.”

“I was 42 when I first went to the GP with main symptoms being loss of energy, weight gain, awful anxiety, low mood, night sweats, forgetfulness and insomnia. I was offered anti-anxiety medication and I refused. I asked for bloods which they told me came back normal. The next 18 months I spent doing everything else I could, changed my diet, exercised more, yoga, meditation, walking. Although it improved things a bit, I still wasn’t myself. I researched peri menopause and rang the GP insistent that I was given HRT. The GP I spoke to advised me that because I was still having regular periods I couldn’t have HRT. He offered me anti depression medication. Luckily, I was informed so I pointed to the NICE guidelines and asked to see a menopause informed Dr. He referred me to a college who was happy to prescribe HRT. It’s changed my life. Where I live GPs can’t prescribe testosterone so I was put on a waiting list for that. After a year or waiting I had an appointment and am in the process of having it prescribed. However, there are still lots of challenges with shortages of the medication and a GP that refuses to prescribe any more than 3 months a time even though I’m not under any review. So, when you’re paying for 2 elements each time that adds up.
I wish things were easier for women. This affected my job, my relationships, my ability to parent and my self-esteem so much. I thought I was going mad. Everyone still says I’m too young but I’m approaching 45 and feel the best I’ve felt in years thanks to the HRT.”

“My gynae consultant (after years of suffering with adenomyosis, endometriosis and large ovarian cysts) told me I should remove both ovaries along with a total hysterectomy if I wanted to find relief. I asked him to help me to make sure my hormones were right after surgery as I didn't want to go into the surgical menopause at 37 without the right hormones. He said he would make sure of it.
The tablet form of HRT he prescribed was making me feel anxious and panicky, my arms and legs hurt and I’d lost all my confidence overnight, I felt dreadful. I asked him several times to help me and both him and his nurse practitioner told me the type of HRT I was on did not cause the side effects I was talking about and gaslit me for causing my own anxiety. In the end I sought help from a menopause consultant (who is also a consultant gynecologist) who confirmed the HRT I was using was not correct for me and could cause all those side effects. He changed my HRT and within 2 weeks I felt like a different person. I felt human again and all the symptoms I was previously experiencing eased.

To add on another topic I think the situation with GPs and pharmacists in the UK making surgical menopause patients feel they have to justify their treatment continuously (even when a consultant has prescribed it) and the continuous trying to change your HRT is not acceptable. I use estradiol and progesterone and to be told I don't need both is very frustrating. The understanding around menopause and particularly surgical menopause alongside gynecological conditions within medical professionals is absolutely dreadful. I never see any other people in pharmacies being questioned like I am in front of a pharmacy full of people about medication.
All the time having to say' I have no ovaries' or ' I don't have a womb or cervix' is extremely insensitive.”

“I was 42 and just started my dream job as a management consultant for a prestigious firm. Hot flushes, anxiety, weight gain, joint pain and suicidal thoughts led me to my GP. It took 18 months for them to do blood tests and tell me my “…oestrogen has gone on holiday”. By which time my symptoms and self-doubt were so extreme that I’d quit my job as couldn’t cope and felt incapable. HRT is now helping me survive but I’ll never get that job back - my confidence is shattered.”

“I have been having hormonal Migraines since I turned 40. For the last 5 years the migraines took out all my weekend every month, along with exacerbating my Ehlers Danlos Syndrome symptoms (which is a faulty collagen gene affecting all my connective tissue and ligaments);  it also impacted my Autonomic condition called POTs (whose symptoms are extremely similar to hot flushes and include brain fog and chronic fatigue and sleep disturbance).

The dryness started a few years ago, making it incredibly painful to wear tampons and to have sex. My libido took a massive dive and my brain fog got worse. In 2022 all my histamine levels went berserk and I thought I had suddenly become allergic to my dog. I have begged for HRT but GPs have been over cautious due to my underlying conditions but finally I got my trial in December and got estriol cream a month prior. Within 2 weeks my histamine levels corrected themselves and I haven't had a single migraine since starting. My Blood pressure has gone down...(it was high before due to the stress of all my other symptoms being elevated and ignored as I was too young and my blood tests were never an accurate description). I have lost half my hair I'm the process! I am 45 now and wish someone had listened earlier. You have to really fight, particularly if you have underlying conditions as medical professionals are too scared, they may make a mess of it. I may have early onset osteoporosis now as a result of not getting help quick enough so I can't state enough to all you ladies how important it is to get your estrogen. Keep fighting the good fight! And thank you Davina and everyone else working hard for this cause, for raising awareness, as without you I wouldn't have fought so hard for what is rightfully owed to me as a woman. Laws need to change to make the prescriptions free for all this stuff too... just saying.... xxxx”

“In early 2022 I started to suffer, what I now know as perimenopause symptoms. I had over 20 and legitimately thought I was dying. I mentioned perimenopause to my GP and was told I was too young and put on anti-anxiety meds. Unsurprisingly things didn’t get better. Despite three further GP visits armed with symptoms, a journal and the NICE guidelines, I was still ignored and spoken down to. Eventually I paid for a private medical plan where, after listening to me, I was instantly diagnosed and prescribed HRT. Within a mere three days things started to improve. It makes me so angry that we have to fight so hard to be heard. Things really need to change.”

“Myself and my two colleagues put it to the CEO of the charity we work for that a Menopause Policy would be helpful as we were all suffering a range of menopausal symptoms. We looked at other charities policies, wrote our own and sent it to the CEO to present to our Board of Trustees for sign off. Despite chasing three-four times over the next year the policy was never signed off or made 'live'. Two years on and through a restructure two of us have now been made redundant - both feeling and having evidence that we have been gas lighted and that this was unfair dismissal. Both the CEO and the Chair of the charity we worked for are female.”

“Having seen BBC Breakfast and other reports, it has dawned on me that during nearly all of my fifties I had menopause symptoms in my head mainly. I worked in a school with people who were older than me who should have understood, but chose to talk about me instead. A male boss 20 years younger who had no idea. I had symptoms of feeling inadequate even though I was very well qualified at my job. I had brain fog, but didn't realise this was a menopause symptom. For the last five years I have worked as a successfully self-employed English and Maths tutor as I felt I no longer was the right fit for the work place and was unemployable, and also because I have a muscle disease too which causes mobility difficulties and a second workplace didn't show support. Although a mother and having friends, I have also been on my own for a long time, again believing I was not the right fit anymore for anything.

I am now 60 and have realised this by looking back, so thank you. None of the reports and awareness was out there 10 years ago. All of this has caused depression that, at times, doctors don't understand.

I really wish I was 10 years younger and I would have the knowledge now before I became menopausal.”

My story is.
My GP refuses to give me any blood tests, just wants to ‘trial’ differing meds.
EVEN THOUGH..
I have had maternal cancer in family, and am concerned.
I have had allergic reaction to progesterone.
I have had adverse reaction to the combo oestrogen and progesterone, ended up in a 3 week heavy bleed…
AND SCANS AND BIOPSIES…
AND two gynae doc at KINGS HOSPITAL…
Stating in letters that I should be referred to the specialist clinic at KINGS HOSPITAL…
My GP refuses to refer me.
The clinic states she is a ‘menopause expert’…
Yet I keep presenting with anxiety and concerns about my reactions to HRT, as well as the potential long term effects of taking anything.
Whilst many friends of mine, in other GPs are being referred immediately…
Even without any adverse effects, or family history of cancer that may add to concerns.
I am sick of all the embalmed celebs…printing their journeys.
Because we all know they are getting private fast track support..
And it gives a false impression of the real world.
I actually think…
It’s the PSYCHOLOGICAL aspects that are really problematic…
No-one really wants to talk, listen, trouble shoot…
When women are literally turning into different people, it feels like almost overnight…
Many women are in complete denial.
The amount of women who say… “didn’t effect me..”
Then go on to list all the differing ‘changes’ they have experienced over the ages from 45-55..
Blows my mind. That then..
When pointed out that could have been the menopause, it is met with complete dismissive ness, that this is just something to complain about…or it’s all in the imagination.

Very divisive subject.

And let’s talk about ANDROPAUSE !!!!
Men and women need to address both sides of the coin..
Because I’m sick of women being the only ones with hormones…that may change…

“Looking back, I started perimenopause in my late 30's early 40's. I went to the doctor twice to talk to them about this, was dismissed but pacified by getting a blood test, which came back 'clear'. Fast forward to 49/50 years old - the night sweats, the hot flushes the mood swings and middle age spread - I had perimenopause - didn't I? Another blood test which came back with nothing and I was told to have a good weekend - I burst into tears because I knew whatever was going on, didn't feel right. That was Feb 2021. It took me until Nov 2021 to start HRT. I never saw a doctor- I did an e-consult and almost had to beg for HRT, so got patches for 3 months. They worked for 6 months, then the effect of them wore off. I couldn't get an appointment with a doctor, so had to do another e-consult so got a higher dosage of patches, with tablets. These stopped doing the job after 3 months, so another e-consult!!!!! I need to add, my reviews have been via text message!!!!!
Perimenopause/menopause has absolutely floored me. I have never seen a medical professional and I have had to rely on doctor google and friends for information and support. I don’t know if my dosage is correct, I don’t know if there is something else I should have done or should do, but I hope other women do not go through what I have gone through as I am at the lowest point of my life ever!”

“There seems to be so much of a desire to get us out of the GP office with drugs rather than take the time to speak to us. If we are lucky, we get someone who actually gets what we are going through. Nobody tells you we are all different, that we could completely lose our libido, that we will need to walk with a fan, flannel and a change of top from anything between 2 and 10 years; that minor symptoms stay or itching is one, we have to find this all out ourselves and spend too much money sorting it.

I eventually paid for all my meds myself as the cost on prescription was not feasible on my salary had I gone down the HRT route, having heard from friends how much it costs and how often you have to get it. 8 years of self-management, bad sleep and sometimes feeling like you just wanted to rip your clothes off and sit in front of a regulated fan all day rather than go to work as not knowing the temperature of transport was in itself so stressful.”

“I was 13yrs old it was 1989 I felt so dreadful, little did I know it was early menopause.
I struggled through school with hot sweats, no periods, low self-esteem, poor mental health. I felt so ashamed I did not tell anyone until I was 25yrs old....over a decade of no hormones.

I got diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure at age 25 & diagnosed with lichen planus which is vulva disease at age 30 due to no estrogen for so long. I have endured 7 gynecology operations including a total hysterectomy Vaginectomy & pending my sixth vulva surgery. Early menopause has almost destroyed me. We must break the stigma so no other young girl suffers in silence like I did.”

“I was 19 and attending the gynecology department because my periods were non-existent. I was told then it was early ovarian failure (extremely early menopause). I have no idea why it took the next 10yrs to convince my G.P to come to the same conclusion. So, after 10 years of different antidepressants, painkillers and different assessments for various different conditions. They finally agreed on a simple blood test to check my hormones and of course I was at post menopause Hormone level.

Menopause ruined my 20s, my self-esteem and my faith in G.Ps. I am just grateful of my partner of 14yrs has handled it all very well, for him being 3 years younger than me.”

“My menopause journey started at age 33, 2 years ago. I entered chemical menopause whilst I waited for my total hysterectomy and bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy. Chemical menopause was an intense 9 months, but it brought immediate (and much needed) relief from my severe PMDD and Adenomyosis. It showed me I was definitely doing the right thing in having my surgery.

After my surgery I was plunged face first into surgical menopause. The symptoms started immediately. My symptoms included almost constant hot flushes, insomnia, depression and anxiety, mood swings, suicidality, brain fog, joint pain, and much more. I have also really struggled with histamine reaction since being in surgical menopause, too. I had tried to prepare myself as much as I possibly could pre-surgery, but nothing would fully prepare me for what was to come.

Initially I had no medical support and was even discharged from my gynecologist! My GP wouldn't, and still won't, go near my HRT due to it being surgical menopause. I felt completely alone. I had to save up to pay to see a surgical menopause specialist. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't found her, but I can't afford to go as much as I need to, so I have to figure out a lot of this on my own, along with the help of the online menopause community.

In terms of HRT, I have tried oestrogen patches, gel, and spray, but didn't absorb any of them. My symptoms raged on. I'm now on oral oestrogen, and have had to increase my dose to a high amount, but it's the best I've felt in years. There's still a way to go, but I feel grateful to finally be on the right track. I've dabbled with testosterone, which initially felt like the missing piece and was amazing in helping with motivation, energy, focus and libido, but then I started to develop side effects (which included uncontrollable feelings of anger, irritability, and aggression), so I have drastically lowered my dose. I miss the benefits I felt from it, but couldn't cope with the side effects.

Surgical menopause has felt a lot like PMDD at times (when my HRT hasn't been right), and has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs, so it feels really scary to not know when the next dip in my mental health is going to come and how I'm going to deal with it. I live in fear of the mental health symptoms of surgical menopause and how intense they can be, but I am also grateful that right now I'm doing okay.

There needs to be so much more support and education around surgical menopause. I love the increasing awareness that menopause is getting, but surgical menopause is still not talked about enough and frequently overlooked. Surgical menopause is incredibly lonely, and the symptoms are so intense and debilitating, that we just cannot afford to not have more support.

Thank you for reading and for all that you do to raise awareness about menopause!”

“I no longer want to live in shame or silence. I had hormonal IUD inserts for years following the birth of my children. I decided to get the last one removed last year after 3 years of insertion because it no longer felt natural and I had hoped my menstrual cycle would return. It did not right away; instead I wound up in a mental institution before my body could make up for the hormone depletion. I was not myself for 4.5 months until I could rebound and stabilize. The crying, insomnia, anxiety, paranoia was CRUSHING! I didn't know what was happening at the time, my husband tried everything including brain scans which ultimately landed me in the system of mental health. I was "diagnosed" with bi-polar and substance abuse because I disclosed I drank wine. This absolutely has to stop, people must become aware. I lost all my female friends because they've never heard of such a thing. I consider myself extremely fortunate I wasn't working outside the home at the time. Ultimately my menstrual cycle has returned but I am well aware of the crisis menopause can bring and will be sure to start HRT at the first sign of changes. We have to educate many more people. Thank you for this cause and bringing awareness to Women's needs.”

“I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure (very early menopause) when I had just turned 34, symptoms had been on going over a year before, these were; insomnia, headaches, brain fog, hot flushes, lower sex drive, joint pain, heightened anxiety, low mood amongst other.

I was told I was menopausal by a GP receptionist over the phone. My GP told me it was up to me if I wanted to go on HRT - this is not following the guidance for this condition. I asked to see a specialist they sent me to a gynecologist who told me to go on the pill as that's better than HRT and would give me better outcomes. I've since found out that's completely wrong.

Since being diagnosed I have gained nearly 5 stone and lost a whole lot of who I am as a person. In 2019 I nearly divorced my husband of 12 years due to constant arguing fueled by my hormones so thankful he was understanding and we went to couples therapy together.

I eventually paid privately for a hormone specialist on advice of my therapist I started seeing this year due to anxiety. I am now feeling much better on the right medication (tablets, patches, cream and gel!) but still a long way to go to undo the damage the last 5 years has done to me.

The hormone specialist also prescribed me testosterone which I had to pay for privately as GP would not prescribe it. However after seeing a locum who understood the menopause I now have it on repeat saving me over £120 a tube. Ps thanks to this my sex drive is back with a vengeance.”

“I was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a mastectomy and radiotherapy. Then I was put on tamoxifen without any warning that it would put me into a chemical menopause. I thought I was going mad. My brain fog, anxiety and night sweats were awful. I phoned my cancer nurse who said, "oh that'll be the tamoxifen" and that was the end of the conversation. I can't go on HRT as my cancer was Oestrogen driven and have had very little support on this from Oncologist or GP.

I'm surviving rather than thriving but being told l should feel lucky to be alive. I have no quality of life. I am worried about dementia, stroke, heart disease and Osteoporosis developing as well, and have had to change jobs as a result.”

“Whilst I don't suffer with this, as a coach and personal trainer I see the affects this has on women and how devastating it can be not just to women but to relationships and families.

As a fitness professional trying to help people, this movement is music to my ears and long overdue and will help me help others.”

“I was turned away by my GP 4 times…anxiety was out of control, dark thoughts, hot sweats, struggling to stay grounded, but finally got HRT. Still not easy and not supported.”

“Gaaaah!! I am so furious with myself for not putting 1:1 together and clicking that I am 100% perimeno! Years this has gone on! Years!
But by God I am so proud of what I have achieved while suffering! What will I achieve once medicated and back to being me?! It’s mind blowing.
Lack of sleep, those 4am wakings! Fighting to stay awake at 3pm.
Poor memory, forgetting words, names, priorities!
Nearly walking out on my husband and kids because someone put a fork in the spoon tray.
Restless and unsettled.
Actual palpitations and inability to breath at random times.
Very low moods with suicidal thoughts…. Never in my whole life have I experienced this!
And I am fat. I have got so fat and no amount of dietary change (I became vegan for 18 months) or calorie counting or increasing exercise reduces the weight, it just controls it.
Yet I have held down a full time very responsible professional job, switched job path and started a new job with a learning curve like a mountain side.
Taken on new and terrifying challenges and smashed them. Held my family life together and feel positive.
The symptoms are so insidious, they creep on behind a veil, hiding behind life events that I put my symptoms down to.
Now I know, I can Chuck it in the fuck it bucket. That’s my motto. Chuck it in the fuck it bucket!”

“I am 51 and very emotional about everything, I can cry just at a drop of an hat. I went to the doctors, but they say because I am still having regular periods, I am just peri menopausal so there was nothing they can do to help. What do I do next?”

“I turned 44 and it was like a switch had been flicked; switched into darkness. It was so fast. Rage, extreme low mood, regular tears, weight gain that didn’t shift like it would the previous year. Daily headaches. I felt like I was losing my mind with memory loss which was the worst. Heightened anxiety. Suffered for 6 months before getting help thanks to Davina McCall’s documentary. Saw my GP who was sympathetic although antidepressants were her first thought, and I did get the distinct impression she felt I was on the young side but I stuck to my guns to try HRT first. A year on, HRT has helped hugely with my mood. Headaches instantly alleviated. I feel better. Still navigating my way through peri-menopause as still feel cognitive symptoms too prevalent but not as bad as without HRT. Maybe the missing piece is testosterone? Who knows because GP didn’t even acknowledge the word when having a review after I suggested it. 2 out of 3 hormones replaced - why not a third? Madness. I don’t know if testosterone is the answer but it would be nice to even have the opportunity to try.”

“I am now 60. Male doctors prescribed seroxat and later, citalopram for ‘low mood’ when I was 44. I didn’t feel depressed but slightly sweaty, tired, low libido and unexplained vertigo dizziness. 3 kids and a full-time job really had nothing to do with it. I had a hysterectomy at 52 and now HRT patches - JOY! I’m back!”

"I am 57 years old, am post-menopausal, cannot take HRT as have had cancer. My teeth ache I have dry mouth and a burning tongue…I have been to the dentist and nothing is wrong there. I need advice, I feel unwell all the time the Dr doesn't understand and I cannot go to a menopause clinic as it is for HRT etc not for symptoms…any advice please?”

“All through my 40's I felt like giving up, taking my own life, leaving my family as I felt anxious and worthless! Peri-menopause? Never heard of it! Fast forward 12 years and I am living my best life. At 48 I told myself 'enough is enough' and I started exercising with Joe wicks and changing my lifestyle through diet, de-stressing and exercise. I educated myself as to what menopause is all about. At 49 I started yoga which sorted my head out completely. At 50 I bucked up the courage to ask the doctor for local oestrogen due to having lots of UTI’s and painful sex. At 51 I became a yoga teacher to help others feel the way it made me feel. At 52 I'm about to become a menopause yoga teacher as both subjects are so close to my heart. This whole process of investing in myself, educating myself and loving myself totally turned my life around. I love my life so much I very rarely need to take time away from it. Menopause can truly be a wonderful time. Here's to the next 50 years as I'm not retiring any time soon.”

“Hi beautiful ladies I am a mummy to 3 beautiful children, and need some advice please. For 11 months now I have been suffering with peri menopause, I also watched Davina’s documentary. The Dr straight away offered me 50mg more of sertraline to add to my 100mg! Because I said I was feeling very low. I immediately said no! This feeling was different, I felt like the happy sparky life and soul of every party had been sucked out and replaced by a grumpy, irritable, tired moody hot mess who quite frankly would just rather sleep than jump on top of Tom hardy if he lay naked on my bed!
She arranged blood tests, but I could not understand how accurate the reading would be because I have a Mirena coil. The bloods were fine. My symptoms worsened.  My coil was due to be replaced in July, so I put myself on the waiting list in March. After hearing nothing I called the doctors to be told I was halfway up the list and still have 6 months to wait. I called family planning they said the same. So now my coil has expired, I am bleeding again sometimes 26 days apart sometimes less, and it’s horrendous. I can feel my coil when I bleed it’s so uncomfortable. The doctor wants to try me on the gel first because it works well with a coil but I can’t have it because my coil has expired.
It’s a joke. No one is listening to me; I feel I am being fobbed off and the whole time I am waiting I feel like I am trapped. What can I do??? thank you for reading.” x

“I was prescribed anti-depressants and I took them for 3 years before I realised, I was in fact peri menopausal. I went back to the doctors and had to tell him what I wanted. He was about to write the prescription when he saw in the book, he was referring to that I “should have a blood test to determine if I was actually peri-menopausal.” I finally managed to get the prescription after me insisting I did not need a blood test. The supply of oestrogen gel has not affected me until I tried to get my prescription filled this week (although a 10 day wait for a phone appointment from my doctors who wanted to do a medication check didn’t help. 1 minute I was on the phone for and the same gel was prescribed. Surely doctors know about the shortages of gel and could/should have prescribed something else for me?) I rang round for an hour yesterday to try to find some gel. I quoted the SSP at a couple and they said that because no gels were available, I had to call my doctors and get them to prescribe something different. I couldn’t get through to my doctors so I now have that battle again. I can’t make calls from work easily. I am a teacher and I get very little free time during the day so it’s not possible for me to sit on the phone making lots of calls. I have to wait until I get home which at times is just on pharmacy closing times. I don’t know what to do.”

“After the birth of my daughter at 39 I experienced awful PMT, depression, rage, panic attacks and felt hopeless. I went to my GP and said I was exhausted beyond being a new Mum of 2 children and my periods came back with vengeance and were heavy and long and exhausting. I was told my thyroid was in the normal range twice and I would need to manage my periods for another 10 years as 'Menopause most likely will hit at 55'. I had never heard of Peri Menopause or any symptoms except hot flushes. I was offered anti-depressants or CBT before Lockdown. In lockdown when tinnitus, joint pain and night sweats had me googling Arthritis and more at 3am and feeling my life was over at age 43, I found posts on Instagram which listed all my symptoms. I eventually requested a face-to-face appt which during lockdown took weeks to justify and stated to a new GP that I needed a coil as my periods had increased not decreased and I could not continue to operate for another week let alone months or years. A consultant told me within 5 minutes I had been peri-menopausal for years and he prescribed me HRT immediately after fitting a Mirena coil. Within 3 days I felt vaguely normal. Within a week I had more energy than I had felt in years. I felt heard and seen rather than feeling I was losing my mind, my marriage as well as being far less of the mother I felt I could be to my children. It took 4 years and I was 44. Instagram posts are the sole reason I sought help. I feel I had to fight and justify why I sought a coil and HRT and had my symptoms been less extreme I would have been sent away again. It took me so much to seek tests and advice from my GP in the first place and I believed what I was told: I was too young, blood tests were not relevant for me at my age, I could either put up with my periods for another 10 years or have surgery. Anti-depressants could help me feel better. No mention was ever made of hormones until I stated my belief years later that all my symptoms had to be linked. If a female is asked how often they go to their GP the answer is usually 'rarely' or 'only if absolutely needed'. On that basis GP's have to be better educated and take symptoms at face value- there will be worry, uncertainty, guilt or shame in some cases like mine, and a feeling that maybe this is just life now or getting older. We are so far behind where we should be. The change starts with recognising the instincts of the patient in front of you. No woman I know is going to make up the list of symptoms we experience or exaggerate it. We will not make an appointment as soon as symptoms begin. Women won't waste a doctor's time asking for help unless there is a genuine and considerable impact on life.”

“After years of suffering with endometriosis and growing a pretty large fibroid during lockdown, I finally got to sit down with a consultant October 2021. She recommended a total hysterectomy but told me it would be at least an 18-month waiting list. I was given an injection that day to put me into chemical menopause. I had a second injection in November and realised that I was in a very dark place due to the side effects. My hysterectomy was prioritised and I went in to surgery in December 2021. I had everything removed so went into immediate surgical menopause. It’s been a rough six months. I hadn’t realised just how hard the menopause had hit me. Hot flushes, brain fog, painful joints, erratic moods, no motivation, tired beyond tired. I’ve just started on oestrogen patches this week!!!”

“I had a full hysterectomy in 2017 (aged 37), due to painful endometriosis. Operation went well, and automatically given HRT patches. No information about surgical menopause or follow up appointments, I was just left to get on with it. Over the next few years I completely lost myself.....anxiety, depression, massive weight gain, achy bones/joints, no enthusiasm for anything at all, extreme fatigue. I did go and see the Dr numerous times, but was told it was part and parcel of the menopause, and just had to get on with it. I struggled in my job that I had always loved, so after 21 years I left. I felt like I couldn't do it anymore and was no good at it. I stopped going out with friends, and preferred just to be in the house all the time. Last year, I broke down to a new Dr, and just told him everything. He listened to me, and said there are definitely plenty of other options. He started me on HRT gel. And soon after I noticed a change. No anxiety or depression, started to get a bit more energy and enthusiasm. Not as fatigued as I had been. I definitely started to feel a bit like my old self. After 9 months I even started back at my job, and I absolutely love it again. Even though I felt better I still feel like something is missing. I have no libido at all. My husband is very supportive, but it's difficult between us. So, I finally have a hospital appointment to discuss testosterone. I'm just hoping they try me on it, to see if that's the missing piece.”

“I came to forced menopause via surgical and hormonal medication in order to make the removal of a large fibroid easier for the surgeon to remove.
I wasn't told that I had a choice in this. My hair fell out; I gained 3 stone and mentally and emotionally I was a wreck.
After surgery it was clear I was now in full blown menopause. There were no check-ups or scans post-surgery. I'm now faced with feeling entirely crazy - physically and mentally and emotionally - or - take HRT; despite it being clear that I am extra sensitive to hormones.
My family and friends look at me like I'm crazy for talking about any of this and speaking up. They think it's shameful.
How did we get to be here in 2022?
No man would ever be expected to go through what women go through - or indeed be denied treatment, choice, or knowledge.
Knowledge is power.
Speaking up is power.
Not being ashamed of being a woman is power.”

“After years of endometriosis and adenomyosis I had a hysterectomy leaving my ovaries in. Within days I was experiencing hot flashes, insomnia and lethargy and was told this was normal and would settle. Months went by with Dr appointments where I’d be crying over weight gain (making food diaries, exercise diaries, logging weight at Dr’s request) not sleeping, high anxiety and palpitations, headaches, and still more hot flashes. Ovarian function results were “low” but not alarming. I suffered with this for 6 years and finally had my ovaries taken out. They had barely been working and what little estrogen I had was from fat cell and cysts. I woke up from surgery with a patch and been on HRT ever since. The sad thing is that I am struggling still with some symptoms (weight being one and hot flashes another) and my Dr has had to email the menopause clinic as the waiting list is almost two years long and knows I need help now. However, the last email was “we don’t have anyone who deals with surgical menopause, and cannot help her any more than prescribing oestrogen, so please direct her to a private clinic”. This is where I am at, and have no money to go private. So, this is where I am today. Still struggling and only 37. I feel let down, worthless and robbed of my 30’s.”

“I haven't had too bad a time - so I thought that might be useful too, to hear. But .... I did suffer from feeling very over-sensitive (almost paranoid) for a month or so and it resulted in nearly bursting into tears in a Board meeting. I was being bullied (but that is a separate issue) and I just could not disguise my upset, my voice showed it even though I managed not to cry tears. So that was hard. But difficult to know how much was bullying and how much was menopausal.

Second distressing symptom is worsening urinary incontinence! I suppose I have some sort of prolapse or sphincter issue, which means exercise with a full or partly full bladder - even walking - can result in leaking, meaning I have taken to wearing Tena pads. It did also seem to get worse in a monthly rhythm (just before period when I was still regular).

Hot flushes - I actually quite like! Being a naturally cold person, it felt pleasant to be warmed up from the inside! Unusual reaction, I know but they were probably mild.

So yes, biggest issue - mental oversensitivity; then incontinence. I am booked to see a specialist for the incontinence issue but not until Feb 2023 (!) but that is fine for me - it is hardly life-threatening and the NHS has a lot on its plate at present.

The paranoia/feeling bullied (partly accurate)/loss of perspective was definitely the most powerful and almost overwhelming negative symptom.”

“I am 47 yrs old and have worked as a nurse for 27 years, my career is unblemished, not a single complaint or sanction against my name. I was previously a clinical lead specialist Band 8a, in a service that I had worked in for 17yrs, leading a team of band 6+7 senior nursing sisters and left my role to pursue a career in advanced nursing practice within a GP setting, 6 months later the covid pandemic began. I have worked tirelessly throughout with little in the way of formal support from my employer. During this period I began experiencing symptoms of the menopause, including low mood, anxiety, brain fog and night sweats and insomnia so severe that I eventually went to my GP. Carrying out the role that I do meant that I am perhaps more informed about this than some people, that coupled with the fact that I have an excellent GP surgery meant I was commenced on HRT at my request. I was off sick for 2 weeks throughout this process and submitted a sick note supporting the same. I have been open and honest with my employer throughout.
Despite this I have been subject to numerous "reviews" regarding my performance, without clear statement or purpose, which compounded and did not support my difficult situation. This resulted in me informing them of my intention to submit a grievance in relation to my management, to improve this experience for others and (in a female dominated workforce) to prevent them from treating other staff members in this way in the future. Subsequently, I am now currently awaiting a date for a formal disciplinary meeting with my employer. Despite trying to explain my situation on numerous occasions, the support remains lacking - I have been told "I don't want to be responsible for you (included in the minutes of a meeting)" and "I'm not having it that symptoms of the menopause are having an impact on your ability to do your job (recorded with permission - during a meeting)" by 2 different GP partners within the practice.

I am well supported by my union representative but decided that I needed to do something more to empower myself, whilst feeling extremely vulnerable (and extremely sad) at present - hence my reason for submitting my story - I would like to see education for all to include employers/practitioners and patients and I passionately support all of this hard work!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!”

“I am 43 with whatI thought was a pretty solid stable mental health until I was 39 and it deteriorated and my anxiety was uncontrollable and I was put on medication which helped. I noticed other changes but just put them down to getting older then in November last year literally out of know where I was crippled with anxiety, incapacitated with self doubt and worthlessnesses and had to be off work for nine weeks. It took me six months to get back to my new normal which is taking some adjustment and then the physical symptoms happened where I have pins and needles in my hands, burning mouth syndrome, fluctuating weight, word allocation problems, brain fog and memory loss. It is soul destroying as I don’t know who i am any more and whilst I find the positives interesting in that I have no filter and losing hair is beneficial as I have so much it is life changing and there really is no preparation for this. I am in a very high pressurised job with public scrutiny and it is causing so much anxiety to not maintain myself. The symptoms I have have been terrifying thinking I had MS, MND or dementia and being laughed at by my GP stating that I am too young to be going through this is just not helpful and ageist. I am grateful that it all makes sense now and for the last few years I have not been going crazy. I am going to make it my mission to talk about this and prepare the future generations of females and males.”

“It was really upsetting and I feel patronised to read the article in The Guardian about the "medicalisation" of the menopause. During almost 3 years of my peri menopause I did not use HRT because my symptoms were minimal; I led an already healthy lifestyle and, for example, introduced strength training and reduced alcohol and my life was going fine. However, when in January 2020 I phoned my GP asking for HRT (I did my research, so I asked for the patches) as my night sweats were getting worse, dryness, you name it; to my surprise I was offered anti-depressants, which I did not refuse.

Took me almost 6 months to get them plus a referral to the menopause (another disappointment). The Meno clinic's assessment was a 15 min phone call and another 15 min face to face, no blood tests done, no pressure taken etc. Yes, she gave testosterone gel but I have read you have to know how the hormone levels are first. Basically, some of us are getting our HRT or testo gel but no checks in our vit D, magnesium, hormone levels. During the peri period, I paid for a bone scan to see if my bones were ok, because my mother suffers from osteoporosis, I am worried about it, (another thing my GP is kind of ignoring). I feel they think we are bunch of drama queens, but Viagra is over the counter. Please can somebody explain this? Many thanks for your time and keep going.”

“I was dismissed from my job due to my debilitating symptoms. When I look back now, I am astonished how I pulled through it all - to battle depression (caused by hormones), extremely heavy bleeding where I had to sit in the bath on some days, sleeplessness due to bleeding and night sweats, brain fog that was so severe I often forgot what day it was. For nobody in the medical profession to even suggest it was the peri-menopause, I honestly thought my life was unravelling and nobody knew what it was or how they could help.

Then I was told by my employer that I was 'fabricating an illness', and according to them, I had made it into work and looked fine. I lost over one stone in weight due to being anaemic and my clothes hung off me! Then I was sacked. Luckily, I had backing from my trade union, and amongst trying to get a diagnosis, trying to hold my life together, I had a brilliant solicitor who fought the dismissal by my employer and I not only won - but it became a 'stated case'; it changed employment law forever! The severity of symptoms can now be classed as a disability and are therefore covered by the equality act. ACAS also issued new Menopause guidance on the back of my case. Please do not give up. I know that it is not easy, but there is hope! We must fight for better diagnosis and better access to HRT.”

“At 46 a single mother of 2 young children my symptoms are debilitating to me on a daily basis. Having to take time off work sick due to the cripplingly anxiety and physical symptoms such as tremors and dizziness. My GP has been happy to prescribe HRT but isn't a specialist in the area, which I have paid for but is expensive especially since potentially I may not be able to return to work. I am hoping this is not the case We need more specialists available on the NHS.”

“Only in hindsight do I realise I have been peri/menopausal for at least 3 years. I usually am a very positive and patient person and I work as an Occupational therapist in the community for the NHS so am used to stressful situations. I had coped with night sweats, painful joints especially first thing and had had periods dwindle and then stop completely for at least 12 months. I had also obviously worked increased hours during the whole last 2 years as well as supporting my daughter through recent spinal surgery and helping care for my lovely mother-in-law who had died at home last May.

One day in February 2022 this year I realised something was drastically wrong. I had been struggling to cope at work, I was finding it really difficult to read from a screen as I couldn’t absorb the information I needed. I had started to feel anxious and a burden in my work and family role. I thought if there was an easy way to disappear that would be the best solution for everyone. I knew enough was enough and went to my GP, the young male doctor advised anxiety medication but listened to my reasoning that although I had anxiety, I felt it was linked to my menopausal symptoms; he started me on HRT 1mg initially and gave me my first sick note.

I have now been off sick for 5 months, I’m now on 2mg of my combined tablets and I’m beginning to feel more like me again. I no longer feel a burden but it’s been very slow and I feel guilty as I am sure I am not the only person suffering with these symptoms at my work place. My GP recently talked me into remaining off sick concerned that I would not be well enough yet to cope with the stress of my job. I hope I continue to improve and can play my part in supporting the elderly to rehabilitate soon. Good luck with all your journeys. x”

“My personal menopause journey is not as rare as I spent years thinking it was. I have never had a hot flush and looking back I certainly started my journey many years before I even knew I had any menopause symptoms. I remember waking up in the middle of the night with searing pain in 2 of my fingers. This quickly transferred into my elbows then knees and hips. Leaving me unable to walk, sit or stand, and in a dreadful state. My then GP, was not particularly knowledgeable on menopause and never mentioned this at the time, but sent me to endless consultants. I was sent over a period of 3/4 years for endless blood tests, CT scans, MRI’s etc. I was tested for Fibromyalgia, Arthritis, Lymes Disease, to name a few…but everything came back normal. In desperation I tried HRT, but it made little difference, knowing what I know today I should have been offered a gel or patches or maybe stronger HRT. My physiotherapist seemed to be the most help, and when I approached him at a particularly low point and asked him if I was terminally ill, he was mortified and said no, it was systemic. Each week I had different joint issues!

I had a change of GP and she was brilliant and suggested different tablets to try. Along with my own years of research, I did take good quality anti-inflammatory for a few years and good quality supplements and I am much better these days. I am 7 years post menopause, and if only I had known then what I know now I wouldn’t have lost 9 years of my life to menopause.

My mental health had taken a battering over the years, with no support and dealing with all my health issues alone. It’s hard being single and a single mum of twins too, even though they are now grown up. Anxiety plays a huge part in menopause and I know so many women suffer unnecessarily at this time in our lives. I have a huge menopause Facebook group and hear these issues hourly! This is what spurs me on to get menopause out there and the ‘norm’! I’m determined no other woman will be left in the dark and suffer like I have. 51% of the population are women and we need to make this transition in a Woman’s life as smooth as possible. Education and knowledge are key for both men as well as women, hence why I wrote my simple, easy to read menopause help book! Life is short enough as it is, losing 9 years of my life to menopause is shocking, I want no other women to do the same!”

“I’m in the midst of a few years of just feeling rubbish. Just before lock down, went to docs explained that I was feeling tearful, forgetful, anxious, brain foggy. I was prescribed anti-depressants. Menopause not mentioned! Symptoms then got worse over last 2 years. Avoided doctors as didn’t want to bother NHS but last summer went to doc to ask for HRT. Despite having a coil, I have suffered with severe bleeding for 2 years. Was told I was suitable but needed blood test and cervical smear. Smear test couldn’t happen as doctors couldn’t get smear. Coil could not be removed. Eventually referred for possible cancer of womb. Seen quickly not cancer thank God but large fibroid, coil removed and cervical smear completed! Referred back to doctors. Back to square one. No HRT still prescribed and referred back to gynaecologist for appointment at end of this year (2022). Bleeding never stops (only 5 days of no period in last 7 months!), brain fog is lots worse, mood swings, lower back pain from bleeding never goes away. Have been told probably peri menopause but just feel like this is never ending. Still no HRT but still on antidepressants!! My story is never ending at the moment but wanted to share as Menopause symptoms and help for women needs to be so much better. Thank you, Menopause Mandate and supporters for asking people to listen. As frankly at the moment most women are just completely isolated and lost in systems that just don’t give this enough emphasis. It needs to change.”

“Hello all you beautiful brave ladies. My story started a little over 10 years ago around 2010/2011. I had heard of the perimenopause and recognised I'd had the symptoms for some time but my GP was not convinced it even existed, so I went through the night sweats and hot flushes intermittently, was given antidepressants for as he put it, ''my mental state'' and was basically left to get on with it. My menopause came approximately 3 years later, 2014. At the time I was told by my GP that my symptoms were normal for a woman of my age, (45) and on asking about HRT was informed it was only to be considered for extreme cases, because of the risk of breast cancer.

Since then I have been back and forth to the GP with.....
•Sometimes debilitating chronic fatigue.
•Pain throughout my body.
•Depression.
•Anxiety.
•Panic Attacks
•Brain Fog.
•Insomnia.
•Relentless night sweats
•Hot Flushes.
To help keep some semblance of humour to it all I declared I was having an exotic time of it and labelled the flushes as ''My tropical moments.''

I was given a diagnosis in 2018 of Fibromyalgia and put on many different anti-depressants, none of which ever really helped, but kept my ''mental state'' numb. I had to reduce my work hours, I lost confidence in myself and the anxiety at times had me house bound and unable to work.

After watching Davina's programme a few weeks ago. I rang the Dr's for an appointment and asked to speak to a GP that specialises in women’s health as I wanted to discuss menopause symptoms. She thankfully listened, and immediately said I qualify for HRT and prescribed progesterone tablets and oestrogen gel. She also said my Fibromyalgia diagnosis is probably completely wrong as the symptoms do overlap. I was elated, until I was told by the pharmacy the gel is not available due to stock issues.

Arrrrrggghhhhh!

I have started to take the progesterone so at least I'm getting that into my system, but without the oestrogen I'm not expecting to feel much of a difference. I have decided to give it a few more days to see if the gel arrives. If not,..... back to the doctors we go!

I have also started, on the GP's advice, to wean myself slowly off the anti-depressants which is not pleasant. I feel let down, disregarded and so angry that me and thousands of women like me have been treated this way.

I have fought to be heard over the years I've struggled with these symptoms, only to be misdiagnosed and swept aside, and my battle like many others is not yet at an end, because now the medication is not readily available.

I must end with a huge THANK YOU for all the hard work you are doing to raise awareness and getting us all the treatment, we rightly deserve.

You are angels, each and every one of you.”

Big Snuggly Hugs

I lost my mum 13 years ago to Pancreatic cancer. My mum was 67 when she passed and had gone into early menopause at 38, was given revolutionary HRT back then. I had a full hysterectomy at 47 (10 years ago) no one spoke about what was coming. I struggled on not wanting HRT due to cancer links and mum’s history - My GP at the time agreed. I changed area and got a new GP who did a blood test and asked how I was coping with no Oestrogen in my body, and if I wanted HRT she would prescribe it but because of the data I still didn’t. I was an air hostess, I had flown for 12 years and I had to give up as my body could not take the early morning starts and have energy to fly all day on little sleep. I spoke to my employer who brushed it under the carpet so I got a job with the police in the control room which was desk based but included night shifts - 3 years in I have asked for a slight adjustment so that I do not have to work all through the night but no they will not accommodate. Thankfully due to Davina’s programmes I am now fully informed and am on HRT, my life is much better but I am having to move departments to continue working in the police as I am not able to cope with the night shift any longer - I feel as if no-one cares and that ‘menopause at work’ is lip service as when it comes to it no one cares even if you are good at your job - this is the second job that I now feel pushed out from due to the employer’s attitude around menopause. I am just so grateful to Davina’s programme for shedding light on the matter, helping ladies like me by giving us the correct information and I now recommend it to everyone!”

“I had a Mirena coil fitted in my mid 40’s due to extremely heavy bleeding. My periods stopped after a year or so which is entirely normal. Over the last two years I’ve been experiencing extreme tiredness, brain fog and increased anxiety and lack of confidence. I asked a GP a year ago how I’d know I was in the menopause and she said the Mirena is used as HRT so I may not even notice it.

So, I put my brain fog down to age (I’m 52) and exhaustion and lack of libido down to stress.
Things got on top of me at work and I’m facing performance management and am signed off with stress. This coincided with watching the latest Davina McCall documentary. I spoke to another GP who has prescribed HRT patches.

I really hope they work and I can turn this around.”

“Struggling as a single mum of 2 daily, I find everything so hard because of my symptoms, inner shakes, tensing, no appetite, digestive issues, poor sleep, dizziness and nausea. My Dr is trying their best, i.e. offering HRT, doing blood tests and other tests, but I think there should be access to more specialists on the NHS. I work, but currently on week 8 of being off sick. This is the 3rd episode of anxiety related symptoms since 2020. I am struggling.”

“Good morning, I hope it is OK to message but I literally have nowhere to turn.
My doctor says they can't help as my blood tests say I'm not in menopause.

October 2021 things changed overnight; it was like a light switch. I was taken off the pill and have not had a period since. Then hot sweats at night, followed by broken sleep or no sleep at all.
My bones ache like I'm an old lady, I’ve no interest in anything, I cry at times uncontrollably, and my memory is just weird.
I have a very high-profile career and it’s a struggle to get through the day.
I’ve lost friends as they don't understand and just think I'm being mardy.
I'm 48 and don't know where to turn. Xxx”

“Three years ago, I started having strange symptoms, so I went to the doctor wondering if it could be something to do with the perimenopause. I didn’t have much information about this at the time I just knew it existed. My doctor did blood tests, which came back all okay, and he told me in this exact words ‘you’re just a mature woman’ (ahhh!)
I then I went back a year later with severe bleeding, heavy periods and even bleeding during sex, I was put on the mini pill.
When I went back last year due to debilitating anxiety I was given antidepressants (velaxafine),
During these 3 years none of the doctors or gynacologists spoke to me about hormones.
A private menopause doctor (I live in Portugal) literally said HRT will give me breast cancer and looked at me like I had two heads when I mentioned testosterone!!!

Luckily for me I was already on HRT due to a lightbulb moment after watching Davina McCall. I stick a patch on. Then my sister then tells me about a talk at work about Davina. I started researching. I’m pretty sure I can get a degree in the menopause now! I’ve got my HRT patches and progestogen without a prescription. I started using 25 mg patch (there’s only 1 brand here in Portugal which makes me wonder what the hell women are using here? and 100 mg progestogen, vaginally (too sensitive to take it orally..) wondering if I can use it anally so no discharge?

Guess what four days after using the patch my brain fog lifted my fatigue lifted, I don’t even need coffee in the morning I’m not saying it’s not a rollercoaster but I feel so much better and I don’t know why I wasn’t prescribed it three years ago.

I have since discovered the doctors are only allowed to prescribe HRT after 12 months with no period, which makes me wonder if all these perimenopausal women are just suffering like I did for three years?
I am so angry that women have to still go through this!!!
I had to go private but was prescribed bio identical estradiol/estriol and testosterone (I will use the mirena coil this month) it seems the only way here to get a prescription.

I will try with my GP again, but they have no clue about transdermal HRT or testosterone.
Why is it sooooo difficult to replace my hormones? Pretty sure men wouldn’t have to go through all of this!”

“Menopause broke me...

I had absolutely no idea what was happening.
I was at the height of a successful 25 year career in senior corporate positions. I was happily married. I was fit and healthy. Until menopause...
Although I had almost every symptom in the book, I didn't even know that's what it was for 5 years! Until I pretty much lost everything.
Multiple jobs back to back, my marriage, my home, my confidence plus my mental health went through the floor.
To such a point, I completely broke in December 2020.
I didn't really want to die - but I definitely didn't want to wake up ever again.
But thankfully, 18 months later and I don't even recognise that person.
Thanks to HRT I'm in the best place I've ever been with my life!
Happy, well, confident and now running 2 businesses from home!
If you're struggling right now, please trust that it does get better 💗”

“I am a 39 year women, who was put into early menopause 13 months ago, to help with period pains etc.
I have suffered with feeling low, gaining weight( which is massive for me) taking HRT, my skin has changed (not for the best).
My family have struggled to support me, as they don’t understand how I am feeling.
For someone who’s only in their late 30’s it’s been hard.
I have just had my last injection, which will last me 3 months, then I am not sure what’s going to happen with my hormones, as my HRT will stop. They want to see how my body gets on. So, I feel nervous and not looking forward to having no injection and no tablets.”
(Good luck to my family!)

“At 31 after not menstruating, suffering horrific night sweats and hot flushes I was told that I had suspected early menopause. One blood test done and then told no, it’s not that and discharged. 15 years later after the symptoms had stopped me working full time, being told by older friends that “I didn’t know what it was like” going through menopause and that I was “lucky.” I had zero libido, sleep deprivation, mood swings, painful joints, etc. I scored 37/42 on a menopause checklist and have been prescribed patches and am on review for testosterone.

Continue to seek help and be kind to younger relatives and friends because you really have no ideas what they might be going through.”

“I am 64 and I have been trying to solve various health issues since my mid-fifties, when lack of oestrogen kicked in after a menopause in my late forties. I was brainwashed that HRT was dangerous and I suffered from migraines, I had a family history of breast cancer. I did not think my menopause was that bad as I had a healthy diet and lifestyle. Then I began to get major muscle and joint problems including two frozen shoulders. After that I experienced palpitations and tinnitus plus painful sex, anxiety, UTI’s, cystitis constantly. I now realise it was lack of oestrogen.

I saw a whole load of specialists including urologists and gynaecologists who did all the tests and came up with nothing. I also had terrible constipation that was put down to IBS. By this time my mother was suffering from dementia and caring for her meant I ignored my own health. I did try to ask a gynaecologist for HRT as I had a test which showed that my hormones were non-existent particularly testosterone. She said at 62 it was too dangerous and too late. Someone prescribed vagifem but I was so sore by that time it burned. I stopped using it and the leaflets that came with it stating all the dangers put me off.

I had extreme anxiety and fatigue. My mum passed away of bowel cancer and at that point it dawned on me that my life was completely impossible because of the debilitating genitourinary symptoms that dictated everything I did or couldn’t do on a daily basis. I read about body identical HRT and got referred by a GP to the menopause clinic. A year later they contacted me via a telephone appointment. In the meantime, I went private and got prescribed HRT even then I was anxious about taking it due to the horrendous warnings on the leaflets and the warnings from the private doctor about the risks at my age. Finally last November I started and it has made a difference. Unfortunately, some issues of the vulva remain and despite several examinations by my GP who refuses to refer me to a specialist and states internally it all looks ok. And who by the way I have to give up to date information to despite her being the menopause specialist GP.

I finally saw a younger GP who has been working with a vulva skin specialist and she says I have Lichen Sclerosis. Despite this condition potentially leading to vulva cancer and who knows how long I have had it for, I have to wait at least four months to see a specialist and could be much longer. The menopause clinic refused to refer me as it would take another year to see someone and told me to use emollient in the meantime. I am trying to remain positive that it’s been diagnosed in time and the treatment will prevent it progressing as it has already started to change the structure of the vulva.

I am telling my story to say do not be fobbed off, keep making appointments, push to see the right people write to the practice manager if you are unhappy with the way you have been treated. Write to your MP. I have a lot still to offer the world, particularly my grandchildren and I am going to fight for it!”

“I suffered classic peri menopause symptoms particularly brain fog , anxiety and lack of sleep. I lost my resilience to cope and just tried to keep battling on in isolation continually apologising for myself. I finally got a prescription for HRT from a private gynaecologist. This was a problem as the failure to recognise peri-menopause meant the incorrect dosage was prescribed causing me awful symptoms. My GP had no clue how to deal with any of this. It is essential that women are offered a personal prescription based on bloods and a proper assessment which I couldn’t get. The peri menopause comes in waves and you have to be able to know how to handle the ups and downs of the hormones with the prescribed medication which for many is limited in its options.

In the end a friend directed me to a specialist menopause clinic which has been transformative. I know I am lucky to be able to absorb the costs of this and it is not right that so many women are not able to seek this level of specialist help. I am also concerned by the lack of knowledge of surgical menopause which is the other journey many of us have had to endure. I have had a frightening experience of surgeons who see no function of ovaries past a certain age and will recommend removal of the healthy with the diseased. Research is telling us ovaries have a function in our endocrine system in our later years. We need significant improvement in female medicine particularly in this specialist area of female gynaecology with funded research and education as from my experience women are being utterly failed by our current system.”

“My Menopause journey started at around the age of 30, I was angry all the time, my periods were all over the shot and no one could tell me why. I was put under the gynaecology department at my local hospital. After 3 surgeries to check to make sure everything inside was working correctly they did a blood test and found that I was peri-menopausal. This is where I had no help, HRT was never discussed and I didn't know that I could have it at such a young age. I have suffered with this now for nearly 20 years, I moved to a different area and spoke to my doctor about HRT but he said because I was outside of the 10-year guideline under the NHS, I could not have HRT. Are you kidding me? It's a guideline, I told him, it's my body so should be my decision if I went on it, he said he would send a letter to the consultant that I saw at the local hospital to see if they will allow me to have it.

Guess what, no response from them. I am now waiting for an appointment with my doctor to discuss it again as because of the pandemic, I have now suffered for another 2 years. I have been told that I need to be on HRT before I'm 50 otherwise I won’t be allowed at all. I am constantly tired, have no libido, constant brain fog and have a very short fuse, it has affected my home life and work life, and sometimes think it is better if I just end it all. If it wasn't for my children, sister and best friends, I don't think I would have made it. I have my fingers crossed that the doctor will help me, otherwise I may lose the plot completely.”

“HRT has given me a life of stability and joy. Previously, the doctors talked about an emotionally unstable personality disorder. They gave me all manner of pills, but nothing helped. Being told that there was no cure for this condition, l became suicidal. In April 2021, l was hospitalised after a near fatal attempt. Now I’m on HRT all of my symptoms have gone and l can live again. From the very first night, l slept like l hadn’t in months. I would love to personally thank Davina McCall and all the fantastic people who have brought attention to this topic - you are life savers.”

“I am now post-menopausal, still experiencing some hot flushes and night sweats but feeling liberated and more confident than ever.
I've experienced anxiety, work related stress & anger in the last few years but I believe these were appropriate responses to unacceptable work conditions, pandemic and political situations. I have not used MHT.
Herbal medicine, under the supervision of a qualified medical herbalist, has helped all my symptoms. I believe this should be an accessible option for all people experiencing menopausal difficulties. I have made some lifestyle changes- reduced alcohol, changed to decaffeinated coffee etc which have helped too.
I considered MHT but my menopause experiences were never really affecting my life to an extent that I wanted to take hormones, with the possible associated side effects. I am well informed about menopause/MHT/ ageing health and I feel upset about the implication that everyone should take MHT. It should be part of the education, and the choice alongside other options and also an acknowledgement that many women have no difficulties and need no extra support.”

“My menopause started due to a hysterectomy nearly 2 years ago, my operation was planned due to large fibroids (5-6Ilb) they were actually 9Ilb! My op was put on hold due to the pandemic and I was medically induced into menopause to stop the fibroid growing, the day the hospitals re-opened was the day my op was planned (If covid free). My husband dropped me at the hospital at 6am and said goodbye, I was on a 12 bed ward on my own. My operation was planned for 9.30am.
The most wonderful nurse took me down to theatre it was like entering a space ship everyone was in these space like suits covered from head to toe, I couldn't see their faces it was the most scariest experience I'd ever had she held my hand and told me that everything was going to be OK I cried as the anaesthetic was administered.

I woke to the most excruciating pain I'd ever known, they gave me morphine and sent me back to the ward on my own, the next 24hours were lost, I'd face timed my husband apparently in tears and he couldn't come see me! Apparently, I called another 6 times! He felt helpless.

I was discharged 3 days later with some pain relief and a goodbye, my mum isolated so she could come look after me as my husband was a keyworker and working more than he ever had. I experienced full blown menopause symptoms for the first 2 months and then they started to ease, they had left my ovaries and told me I'd hit menopause at a later date.

Those symptoms did ease for a short while, about 11-12 months...then they were back. I struggled on until my husband suggested I see the doctor, I told him not to be daft and carried on... by this time (looking back) I had every symptom possible.

I had changed career from working in care (due to the pandemic) it was just too much, when I started my new job I could see I was struggling to remember things and always double checking everything I did and studying/learning at every opportunity just so I could get ahead. I'd mentioned to a colleague about the menopause and that I'd made an appointment with the G.P.

The G.P. was great and I was prescribed H.R.T.

Well I wish I never said a thing to anyone!

I have been told by said colleague... I'm slow, I'm not ready to take my exam, I don't care if you've got ####### brain fog, I actually could not believe what was happening... The way I see it is, if I'd have not mentioned the H.R.T. no-one would have said a thing! They haven't for the last 4 months, no supervisions, you're doing a great job, you're ready for your exam, no extra training needed... absolutely nothing!

I now feel that I've accepted my menopause journey but it seems my colleague hasn't! I've been made to feel like an outsider in my own workplace, they've knocked my confidence, they have made me question my ability to do my job, I have been reported to the area manager as said colleague and him are good friends... I actually do not know where to go or who to turn too from here! I now feel that I need to leave my job.

It is 2022 and I am made to feel like this because of something that I can't control.

Anxiety is now a daily occurrence, I spoke to the doctor and they have signed me off sick for 2 weeks!

What happens next, I'm unsure!”

“This is my HRT story. I am 41 and have suffered with endometriosis for over 20 years.
A few weeks ago I had a full hysterectomy due to the severity of my endometriosis.
24 hrs after having my uterus, ovaries, fallopians tubes and cervix removed and being plunged into menopause I was discharged with no HRT as hospital was out of stock.
My menopausal symptoms were horrendous. So huge and so out of my control.
Eventually after a few days and many phone calls I was able to get some HRT. I couldn’t believe how much better I felt, it was amazing.
My anxiety was gone, the bad thoughts, insomnia, sweats all gone….until the second month and once again it was out of stock and I was plunged again into a dark place.
The national HRT crisis is real.
And the anxiety I will have every month for the next 10 years is real.
How can we be in this position?
How many more battles do we as women have to fight?”

“I had a hysterectomy (minus my ovaries) in 2009 and not long after hit menopause and it’s been unrelenting since. Due to a migrainous stroke I’ve had to take Clopidogrel since and because of that I’ve been told apart from beta blockers and antidepressants or exercise more, that’s been it, HRT is not an option! A GP from my practice did contact the specialist team locally who said the same thing and that’s been it, no discussion, no support, nothing, left completely on my own.

In amongst all of this I had surgery for a grade 4 prolapse in 2013 and diagnosed, coincidentally, with fibromyalgia in 2014. Whilst it’s great that menopause is on the agenda (where it should’ve been long ago) it breaks my heart that women like me rarely get a mention, only further exacerbating the isolation I/we feel. I’ve tried an array of supplements, explored dietary options, creams and nothing has made a jot of difference. My hair’s thinning at a rate of knots (no pun intended) and life’s hard and any time I converse with a GP or practice nurse I’m met with either ‘it’s your fibromyalgia’, ‘your age/menopause’…… I’ve long since stopped attending my practice.”

“I started to notice the symptoms about 4 years ago at the age of 41 - the main symptom at the time being severe anxiety and suicidal thoughts. I was put on anti-depressants which seemed to be effective in helping with the anxiety, but while on them I noticed a variety of other changes that may have been symptoms of peri-menopause or side-effects of the anti-depressants. Principle among those symptoms was vaginal dryness and loss of libido, weight gain, sore and dry eyes, headaches, difficulty concentrating - known also to be side effects of SSRI's. It took 2 years to finally wean myself off the anti-depressants - I had a conversation with my GP about the other changes, and that I'd like to take the antidepressants out of the equation so that I could figure out what was causing them. Once off the medication it was clear that the changes, I was experiencing were not caused by the medication but must surely be caused by hormonal changes.

I went back to the GP to ask to try HRT. She tested my hormone levels, which were normal, and said she thought I was too young to be menopausal - and offered to prescribe SSRI's again, which I declined. I managed my various symptoms (loss of libido, weight gain, vaginal dryness, headaches, sore breasts, difficulty sleeping, heart palpitations, anxiety, restless legs, hair loss, etc) by keeping my weight low and exercising, and avoiding alcohol. Another few months passed and I returned to the GP to ask again - again she told me she thought I was too young (44 by this point). That was almost exactly a year ago. Today I was prescribed a combined patch, Evorel Conti. I will try this for 3 months until I am able to ask to be referred to a menopause clinic to ask about testosterone - from the research I've done, I feel that my symptoms are consistent with dropping testosterone levels. My worst symptom is my cognitive decline - and the loss of confidence in and ability to focus and think creatively in my work. I am an artist and I have noticed a frightening decline in my creativity and ability to concentrate over long periods in the way I used to. My productivity has dropped steeply since I first noticed changes in my mental health in 2018. I am the sole earner in my household (supporting two teenagers) and so my ability to work is absolutely essential. I feel frustrated that my concerns about my symptoms were disregarded, and that antidepressants were offered instead. I am also frustrated that testosterone is not available until after 3 months of taking oestrogen and progesterone. But hopeful that things might be about to improve. This time last week I was having suicidal thoughts so the only way is up...”

“I didn’t know what was happening to me. My senior manager started referring to ‘women of a certain age’ and that’s what I took it to be - just older ladies. I had no idea about menopause and the physical and mental impact it has on all women at some point in their lives, until it started to impact me in my late 40s culminating in hysterical crying and refusing point blank to do a presentation that I, along with colleagues had been planning for months.

I had no explanation and felt so ashamed of myself but just felt so overwhelmed. I know now that was my first significant run in with perimenopause. I would love to go back now, nearly 10 years later to explain myself whereas that was actually the beginning of the end of my career.”

“I have been unable to get my Estrogel on my repeat prescription. My progesterone hasn't been in short supply. My local pharmacy gave me an I owe you slip to collect at a later date (which took six weeks). I was very anxious at the thought of my symptoms returning, so searched on line & bought from the Prescription Doctor in February at a cost of £31. I have had to re order from them because once again I can’t get it from my local pharmacy, we spent 3 hours, between 3 counties trying to find a Pharmacy with stock . Prescription Doctor accepted my order & then emailed to say the item had increased in price by £10 due to difficulty sourcing stock.

I don’t have the income to be able to pay for medication on a regular basis but I have no choice as I cannot work/ function/ sleep without my HRT.”

“I had to have early hysterectomy and so I need HRT patches but now months on they struggle to give me patches the chemist don’t have them doctor won’t supply percriptsion without an appointment can’t get appointment to see go and all the time I’m suffering hot flushes feeling low mood feeling tired and generally unwell as of no hrt patches
Male doctors don’t understand how no hrt affects us ladies

“I've probably been suffering with Perimenopause symptoms for well over a year without realising it. Last year I had time off with stress even though I'd never before let stress affect me. I've suffered anxiety, brain fog, night sweats, Insomnia and fatigue. I was at the point I felt like I couldn't do my job properly, I started hating my job and thinking about leaving. I went several times to my Head teacher to tell him I wasn't coping, my workload was too much, I reached a point where I was ready just to walk out and not go back. He told me he didn't agree with me, he didn't think my workload was too much and that I was coming across as really negative. I really did reach breaking point, I was getting no understanding or support from him. I sat in my office crying on many occasion. Thanks to a few teachers that were also going through it, they really supported me and made me feel like I wasn't alone.
I had a bout of illness, fatigue, aches and pains to the point I just couldn't get out of bed. My GP sent me for a blood test, than rang about a week later to tell me I was definitely in the menopause. My GP has been great, even though I'm in the North East and can't get body identical HRT. But she did immediately get me on patches without question or delay.
A couple of months in and my body was obviously adjusting. I was suffering awful Insomnia and mood swings, the worst anxiety I'd ever experienced. One day I questioned my boss about something I didn't agree with and him and another male member of staff had a right go at me. I was so upset and because of how I was feeling I couldn't pull myself together, so I got in the car and drove home. I wasn't sure if I was going to go back, but my partner talked me round.
I went back the next day and still no support, he actually told me if I did anything like that again he would take disciplinary action against me. I'm now almost 4 months into my HRT and starting to feel like my old self again. So it's time to take action.
I contacted the CEO of my Academy Trust directly and sent him all of the information he needed and asked if we could have a menopause policy and support for women going through this in the workplace. I also directly contacted HR and asked for an appointment with Occupational health to help me cope better in the workplace.
It's hard when you have no fight in you and you just want to curl up in bed and not face the world. But now I'm starting to feel like my old self, I'm going around my boss who has no understanding or sympathy at all, straight to the top to try to make change. We need support in the workplace for every other woman going through this and hopefully make it a better place for the next generation.”

“In my early forty’s I had been continuously under the gp for back pain since my first baby born in my mid 30s.
But about 43 I started to have very v bad periods, incredibly heavy and pain every 2 weeks with massive mood swings.
I asked gp to go on the pill to stop the bleeding but gp said no. I started to have investigation’s into why my periods were so bad. A gynaecologist tested and scanned me for endometriosis with keyhole camera inside uterus etc . Nothing was found and they decided it must be adenomiosis (a type of endometriosis in the lining of the womb. ) the pain, bleeding and moods were so bad I agreed to a hysterectomy. I knew surgical menopause was a factor. After the
surgery I was mis prescribed hrt and had nothing for 6weeks. It was the most frightening time. The migraines started. After lab tests on my womb, I did not have adeomyosis. There was no abnormalities.
it took about 3 years to find an hrt to fit me and a separate gynaecologist explaining that all my symptoms before the surgery looked like peri menopause.
A couple of years later I paid for an X-ray on my pelvis with a chiropractor and I was diagnosed with Pubic Symphysis Dysfunction. (A very common dislocation of pelvis from pregnancy)
I am now 52 and my menopause is still with me with regular changes . I take eistrogen only patches, vaginal pesaries, and a vaginal cream. I have suffered migraines since the hysterectomy, ..
I think I have damaged my body so much and it’s irreparable. I really worry about my future.”

“At the age of 14, my mom took me to the doctor as I was ‘misbehaving’ the dr said it was my hormones. I have since heard that too many times,
I was pregnant with my daughter at age of 16 and I seemed to be ok (hormonally) and then after birth I have had serious problems with my mental state every single 2 week before my period. The only way I can describe it was I was a different person, making irrational decisions. Life changing decisions!
I went to my GP time and time again- I even suggested it was due to my period, I was either given another diagnosis or referred to mental health services. 
I have a diagnosis of depression, PTSD, OCD, clinical depression! I have either been offered anti-depressants, diazepam or CBT- very recently, it was recommended I go into mental health respite.
Before I go any further, I am a qualified social worker!! So I had a lot to lose.
When I was 35- anxiety hit me bad. I didn’t know why just blamed being a mum to teenagers, stress of work, life stress. I hit another low for no specific reason.
I had a diagnosis of under active thyroid and put on medication. Then I had a serious accident and I noticed bad aches and pains. I said to people it was like I was being injected with concrete- I was stiff, but I was active.
Again, put it down to stress at work- I got promoted and I was a manager of a team.. god help me! 
I had a very serious role with huge responsibilities and I couldn’t remember meetings, dates, names- I really couldn’t remember, if I had checked case notes or seen a child that needed to been seen.
The symptoms were that bad, so I seen a therapist. After 6 months of seeing the therapist I decided to leave my job.
I went to work in a supermarket, I couldn’t afford not to work. I was tired, drawn out, and felt twice my age.

Aged 36 I started to find breast lumps (thankfully always cysts) totally of 11 removed over a 4 year timespan.
I had to have a hip replacement due to severe pain.
Osteoarthritis diagnosed- I use the gym, run over 15 miles, eat well and always have my water 3 litres a day, yet I felt awful.

I went back to my GP in 2019 as I had serious intrusive suicidal thoughts. I didn’t want to die, but my mind was telling me too and I had also developed a RAGE, I was angry.
Again offered anti depression medication which I tried- it but me in a zombie state- I had work so I didn’t continue with them. I said I think it is my hormones AGAIN I was not listened too.
I was referred back to mental health service, I seen a doctor who was trying to give me a psychotic diagnosis with medication. I put in a complaint and demanded HRT. Which I started Aug 2020- life changer for me, a little patch and 4 weeks later the thoughts dispersed.
They came back even 6 months and I have my dose increased. I requested testosterone but refused- but I have a menopause specialist appointment in a few weeks, so hopefully I will be heard. I have 2 daughters and I need to fight for them.
Unfortunately, July 2021 my dear mom ended her suffering with a fatal overdose. In hindsight it was definitely the menopause that got her. My mom wouldn’t have taken HRT so I really hope she is resting in peace now, as it would have been hell on earth with no HRT.
Life is still a battle but I am a woman and I love a good fight.. let’s get our hormones back.. 
I would like to give the social media warriors a massive thank you as you have literally saved my life xx”

“I’m Peri menopause stage. Mirena & Oestrogel since August 21.
Unfortunately struggling since Feb, no gp appointment my 3 month follow up wasn’t til February. My gp had left practice so when I attended to see another gp for my review.. she advised she hadn’t read my notes as too busy filling in for other gp… so I left very disappointed & upset. I’ve been struggling for awhile & even worse I’d say last 6-8weeks..Anxiety, peri symptoms all over place, then when med shortages had to change a few times really didn’t help. No interest in work,anything , even my partner, I’ve even managed to push him away completely. I got to my drs 2 weeks ago she said I was in a heightened stress anxiety state prescribed Xanax & gave me med cert. So I’m not in work as I just don’t feel I retain any information, I can’t do my job??
With shortages I was changed from Oestrogel then Lenzetto this brought back peri symptoms due to shortages only given 1 bottle/spray & now on divigel sachets 2 weeks... will I ever get myself back 🤯🥹🥹😢”

“Hello, I’m 41 years old. I have 2 boys. Our youngest was born 8.5 years ago, i was just about to turn 33 when I had him. About 18 months after he arrived, I noticed a massive dip in my sex drive & feeling tired (more than normal). I suffer with mild endo, so I put it down to that. But it got worse. I had no energy, no sex drive & was constantly tired. I spoke to me GP, they said it was because I had children & they make you tired - like I wasn’t already aware of that. I pushed & pushed - as much as I could muster, but always got nothing. After another 4 years I was told my thyroid was borderline & prescribed 100mg of thyroxine. Which lifted my mood slightly. But still no sex drive / energy. I continued going, trying to explain things weren’t right for me & it was making me sad. The GP asked if if considered if I was actually suffering with depression. I said no, because I knew, that wasn’t the issue - my husband suffers with depression & I grew up with my mom suffering with her mental health too, so I knew it wasn’t that. But, she kept telling me that It sounds like it to her & asking me why I’m so adamant that it wasn’t depression. I ended up leaving angry & upset - having been referred to gynaecology. My appointment with them was cancelled & I was sent to a sexual psychologist - because they were now telling me it’s in my head & that’s why I don’t want sex. I had to sit there with my husband telling a complete stranger about our sex life. He told me & my husband to ‘rub each other down’ after I’d had a shower & to make the effort. Because it was my fault for not doing anything - even though I advised him it feels like a switch has been flicked & there’s just nothing there. And it kills me. Thankfully we went into lockdown so I’ve not been back since, but the last 12 months, my symptoms have got worse, I have hot flushes, cold fingers, freezing cold feet - which hurt, electric shocks, really bad headaches - which I’ve never suffered with before, insomnia, bloating, exhausted, awful memory & brain fog that breaks my heart - the way my head goes blank is so upsetting. I have a tickly cough all the time (never had covid). I was referred to Endocrinology who have requested bloods (again) - I’ve had about 5 lots or bloods done in the last 12 months - all ‘normal’

I just feel that HRT patches could be the solution to all my symptoms & finally give me myself back”

“I had a full hysterectomy in 1993 - I was 29. I was left with one ovary to stave off early menopause. I’m now 57. I don’t actually know at what point I experienced menopause, but I have never ever ever been offered any help or advice at all. Until about 5 years ago I continued to get an annual invitation for a smear test from my GP and every year I rang them….. “helloooo,, excuse me, I don’t have a cervix!”

“I went to see my doctor when I was 53, 11 years ago, about my hot sweats, lack of sleep, feeling tired all the time…the reply was ‘I have patients that have far worse symptoms than you and we don’t prescribe HRT at this practice’ he never asked me if I worked (I did) what my lifestyle was like, nothing, I left feeling like I had wasted his time and shouldn’t even of been there. I’ve never been back even to see a different doctor. Eleven years on, I still have the same symptoms, but added to that is a lack of libido for about the last 4 years, my poor husband is an absolute saint, I tell him ‘even if Tom Hardy was available and interested I wouldn’t be’ We get by with lots of humour and love , but, why should we? There needs to be dedicated Menopausal practitioners that woman can access, without being made to feel that you are being a nuisance.”

“Surgical menopause…EVERYTHING out about 4 years ago TLHBSO. So HRT is a MUST.. With the current Menopause Revolution/Davina Effect’ and supply issues… I can’t fill my next prescription! Swapping to an alternative may bring on symptoms, but currently my nominated pharmacy has nothing anyway.”

“I actually feel like I’ve been quite lucky. My symptoms started about 4-5 years ago when I was 43, I really started noticing it shortly after my Dad died, so for a long time I just assumed the trouble sleeping, the lack of energy, the complete loss of interest in pretty much everything and the unexplained bouts of crying and/or rage were part of the grieving process.
When nothing seemed to improve (in fact was getting worse) I went to the doctors but they could only suggest antidepressants.
By now my work was really suffering and I’d been forced down the performance management route, I was offered the ‘opportunity’ to step down a grade and it was made clear that if I didn’t take it I’d be performance managed out of the door. This terrified me. I’d always defined my self worth in part by my ability to perform well and, as the main breadwinner in our house, I was now petrified on a practical level as well as a personal level.
I went back to the doctors again and was offered antidepressants again and I was put on a waiting list for counselling (though that never materialised).
I persuaded my boss to give me another 6 months before forcing me to step down and it was at this point he suggested setting me up with a mentor to help me pull things back round again.
This is where the luck comes in - I honestly feel like that mentor saved my life. At our first meeting I told her everything, I was in tears for most of it. After I’d finished she just looked at me and said ‘I don’t think you’re depressed or losing your mind, I don’t think you’ve got a brain tumour, I don’t think you’re lazy or unmotivated, I think you’re perimenopausal’
Talk about a lightbulb moment, it had honestly never occurred to me. The more I researched it the more convinced I was that she was correct so I went back to the GP who promptly burst my bubble by telling me that there was no way I was peri as I’d never had a hot flush (still haven’t, something like 20% of women never do) and offered me antidepressants AGAIN.
By this point I was convinced I needed HRT so I made an appointment at a private clinic to see a menopause specialist, she prescribed Estrogel & Utrogestan and sent that over to my GP who will now issue me NHS scrips for it.
That was 18 months ago and I’m now almost back to my old self (still some tweaking, I think testosterone may be the issue now), I managed to hang on to my job and at my last appraisal I was back to my old high scores. I honestly can’t believe that not only was I so ignorant of what was going on in my own body but that it just generally seems to be accepted. From not talking to any of my friends about how I was feeling, hiding the fact I was about to lose my job and just accepting being brushed off by the doctors I’m now evangelical about spreading the word - we don’t have to suffer and we deserve not to.”

“For years I've had problems with urine and vaginal infections, after many visits to walk-in centres, GP etc, I was sent to the urologist, and they concluded that everything was normal. I had to find on a Facebook group that my issues were hormonal and a microdose of local oestrogen twice a week, costing me £3 a month solved it all. Shocking the consultants didn't have a clue. I haven't visited a walk-in centre or GP with this issue since starting on Vagifem, saving a lot of time and resources for the NHS.
I started HRT on June 21, I had to ask for it as I was initially offered antidepressants. My anxiety, irritability and other symptoms improved significantly but came back after 3 months. At my 3m review, I asked for a dose increase, but the same doctor prescribing my HRT refused to increase it and offered antidepressants again, which I politely declined. Instead, I asked to be referred to a menopause clinic, this was September 21. The earliest app available was for today 5th of May. Last Friday I was called by the clinic and my app was rescheduled to Sept 22 due to the consultant being on long term sick leave. One year after I was referred. The lack of resources for women's health and menopause, in particular, is shocking.
I needed 4 appointments with 4 different GPs to find one that was willing to increase my dose last year. I need a further increase again as my symptoms are coming back and I fear it's going to be the same again numerous app until I find one GP willing to listen. This is causing me a lot of stress. My 9 year old told me he hopes they can increase it so I don't shout at him. It's not very nice to be around me when my anxiety and irritability kick in. This is affecting my family life and my son in particular as I'm a single mum and it's just the two of us at home. Being a single mum means it's tricky for me to spend £300 or more, on private consultation. I could go on forever about how this affects not only my life but my son's. I do watch my diet (have lost weight), try to stay active and meditate as often as I can. It does help, but nothing like replacing your own hormones to feel like me again. Thank you!”

“I held a senior leadership position within a large company last year , I began to feel less confident became angry and was not supported well with this at work . Eventually I became very depressed but carried on trying to cope with the fine balance of work and family life. I began to have suicidal thoughts and for the first time in my career took extended time off work.
I had a PPH during childbirth and the menopause stirred up PTSD symptoms. I have been feeling better after taking oestrogen but have fears this will not be available when I next need it and my mental health could decline again.”

“Having an absolute nightmare trying to get my HRT. Today has been totally dreadful and I still don’t have it sorted, I’ve been exhausted and stressed and it’s not over I’ve got to do it all again tomorrow!!! I was trying to get through to my pharmacy for 3 hours!!!! My husband drove me there and guess what they don’t have the patches I’ve had to sort out because I can’t get the gel!!!!! Absolutely sick of this and it’s like this every time I try and get my meds !!!!! It’s got worse!!!!! Please somebody make this better now thank you.”

“I’m sure my story is quite middle of the road. I’m an academic. I’m now 47. At about 44 I noticed some brain blanks under non stressful situations. These had never happened to me before. I had covid in 2020. I had extreme fatigue for weeks, that tapered off, but never receded completely. I got brain fog that really impeded my ability to do my job. I got anxious. I thought I had early onset dementia. I went to my GP who gave me the choice of anti depressants or HRT. But Doc said HRT had breast cancer risks. I wanted a quick fix and my research suggested HRT would take months to work. So I began Sertraline in Sept 2020. It took many more months for me to begin HRT after tracking my symptoms on Balance app. It was June 2021. I told the doc exactly what I wanted and ignored the cancer warnings in the leaflets that come with the medicine, as instructed by Dr Newson. I felt much better fairly quickly and stopped sertraline in Sept 2021. My brain fog remained somewhat., I had the courage to email a well known gynaecologist who is also an academic in my same university. We arranged a phone call that took 5 minutes, to establish she was happy to prescribe testosterone to me. I felt like myself, finally. I am able to function at work. To lecture and juggle my research. I followed up with a new GP at a new practice. There was no menopause specialist at my old practice. On reflection, I was displeased with the service I received there. I was finally becoming more settled and getting on with my new research centre.. I have an outstanding female boss, and 2 outstanding colleagues who all supported me throughout the rocky 2 years. Now a national HRT shortage has “struck”. So far I’ve been reasonably lucky to get my prescriptions. I am concerned I will run out of medicine. I am now out of my local estradiol, which, actually isn’t good at all. Carolyn, Paula Briggs, Davina, Dr Newson and all are doing an excellent job getting people to listen. I just hope the deaf ears of government are opened. If I could vote for Carolyn as PM I would, with the cabinet as above names, and I’m sure many of the 13 million ladies in the UK would join me.”

“By the time I contacted a private clinic for help with my menopause I was prepared to live a shorter life than continue as I was. At 50 I had been offered ADHD medication and antidepressants by my GP as my mum had died of breast cancer.. they said HRT was not for me.
I then found the Newson clinic and was put on body identical HRT and I asked my GP to prescribe it for me, which they did for 6-8 months, and then I got a letter saying they would no longer prescribe me ANY HRT and it was stopped immediately.

I challenged this, I was supported by the Newson Clinic and they offered to speak to my GP, he never took them up on the offer. I have since found out on my medical record the health board, lead Pharmacy and a consultant have agreed I should not be prescribed HRT. They continue to refuse to speak to my specialist, the one and only Louise Newson! I am now struggling to pay for private prescriptions but have been lucky enough to get spare hormones from my friends to help me out.”

“I have been on HRT for 2 or 3 years now and am now on a dose of 4 pumps per day. I requested my last prescription which went directly to my local pharmacy.

When I went to collect, I was given 1 out of the 6 bottles and told to come back when it had run out. When I next went in, they gave me another 2 bottles. I went back today to request the remaining prescription items, only to be told there can only now be a maximum of 3 bottles per prescription, effectively doubling the cost of my HRT treatment.

I am returning to college in September to retrain as a music therapist and have no idea how I will manage to pay for prescriptions or manage on half the dose of Oestrogel.”

“Around age 45 it started with anxiety, paranoia, disturbed sleep, brain fog. This increased over a couple of years and at its height included strong suicidal thoughts. GP diagnosed depression, prescribed diazepam & anti anxiety meds & referred me for CBT. There I was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder. I asked my GP about menopause a couple of times but was told I was too young as the average age was 53 years. My anxiety meds were increased to maximum dose. CBT didn’t really help, it more highlighted negative characteristics & so increased my anxiety about the way I was feeling being my fault. My relationship with my civil partner broke down, we had been together 20 years. I was then referred for counselling which had a more positive impact. I again asked about menopause when my periods stopped around my 50th birthday, but again it was dismissed. I continued on the anxiety meds a further 18 months and have now gradually weaned myself off them.
I now know my experience was peri-menopause. All my symptoms point to it. I’m angry that my GP didn’t consider it, but instead immediately disgnosed me as depressed. I’m sad that our NHS is failing women like me daily.”

“After no improvement following 6 months of HRT, I saw a private specialist. Through blood tests I discovered that my testosterone was negligible which exacerbated what I was already feeling. I would like to raise that via the NHS women do not have access to a testosterone product designed for women. It is unacceptable that the only product available is one designed for men. Given this I have opted to purchase Androfeme privately at £80 per tube ( around 2 months supply). I request that we aim to have a testosterone product for women widely available to women.”

“I live in the USA where the medical guidelines refer the HRT treatment to help manage symptoms and not to prevent the diseases that women risk to get in the absence of oestrogen. I had a DEXA scan that showed I have osteopenia and the gynaecologist that treated me would only prescribe at my insistence, a low dose of HRT. When I asked for the minimum dosage to stop my osteopenia from progressing she said she only prescribes that dosage to menopausal women for symptoms, but that was it and she pretty much told me that other than prescribe calcium and exercise there was nothing else she would do for me in regards of my osteopenia. I'm currently waiting to see a menopause specialist in a different medical group (because the one I had didn't have any) that will hopefully help me for real, to manage my menopause in order to prevent osteoporosis as well as heart disease and Alzheimer’s through HRT.”

“I suspect I reached peri-menopause at 37. While I was being evaluated for ivf it was commented on how low my hormone levels were but not one doctor mentioned that I might need help later on or that it would be problematic for me. From then on I suffered every symptom described as peri-menopausal (I now know)without realising this was the reason I felt so terrible. As I approached my 50’s there was more awareness. My symptoms are pretty substantial physically and mentally. I remember my mother at this age going through what was described as a “mental breakdown”, no one listened to her and she attempted to take her own life, as she couldn’t get out from under the yoke of terrible depression.
So I took up HRT with open arms and thankfully it pretty much saved my life. Thanks to an understanding GP.
But with our practice being sold/covid/problems with NHS care hasn’t been consistent and I have to push for any checks or reevaluation, as recommended by NICE. I feel like my concerns aren’t taken seriously. And that I shouldn’t seek further help as there are more pressing concerns. I would like to be prescribed testosterone to help with my crushing fatigue, and developing degrading muscle tone. Some days I am so tired I can’t think straight or get out of bed. I was a fairly active person before. But thankfully now I seldom get depressed.
I can’t afford to go private, and I know my GP will say as last time that I am being over anxious. Ridiculous as if she (yes she) took me seriously I probably would get the right treatment and feel supported and not be left feeling like my symptoms don’t change over time. I know testosterone can be prescribed “off licence” but the knowledge isn’t there to have the confidence to prescribe it, it seems. And a reluctance to change that.
I have suffered enough and feel that I deserve better. Thank you for giving us a place to actually say this. Hopefully the medical community will listen.”

“I was unable to have my NHS prescription fulfilled in January. As a patient of a private menopause clinic I had the option to get my HRT via a private pharmacy. I paid the recommended cost of my gel approx £14 per bottle but I also had the additional costs to pay, £35 for the prescription to the clinic and £15 for the p+p to the private pharmacy. £50 extra on every prescription.
I recognise that I am in a very fortunate position and can afford to pay for my private treatment and prescription but why should I have too? I work hard, I pay my taxes and am not a burden to society, I feel the hormones I take are essential to my wellbeing and a basic medical requirement that should be covered by the NHS for every woman that needs it. I can not help but feel that if men needed HRT then the shortages and postcode lottery would never have happened. Thank you for taking up this issue for the 50% of the population.”

“I have been on HRT for 31 years following a hystorectomy at 38 years old, I have had every kind of medication in this time - tablets, patches, implants and lastly gel. I have tried to stop taking it twice before on doctors instructions and had very, very bad hot flushes (sweat dripping off my chin out in public and being asked if I am okay ) so I would go back to using it with my doctors backing. I have always wanted to keep taking it, I have been given all the information and made the decision it was doing me more good than harm, which has been borne out by later findings. But now with the combined effect of the shortage of supplies and not being able to see a sympathetic doctor face to face (or any doctor face to face ) I am being forced to wean myself off it after being given only 8 weeks supply. This is really worrying after 31 years of happily using it and at just short of my 70th birthday, waiting for the debilitating symptoms to kick in, I am only 10 days in to weaning myself off it and the hot flushes have already started, god knows how bad it is going to be further down the line, and this is at an age when other older age problems start to kick in”

“After being told by my male GP (who is lovely but doesn't understand the menopause) that I couldn't have hrt again (I was on it for 2 1/2 years but came off it after a year of not having periods) I went to another GP (female) who put me back on hrt as I was having poor mental health as well as poor physical health. However since being back on hrt since last November I have struggled to get the prescription every 3 months. In desperation my sister in law in Spain sourced me a few patches in her local pharmacy (€11 for 8 patches) and sent them over for me.”

“Refused HRT three times to date as I had a lower leg DVT 19 years ago. No risk factors. I have battled with my GP and told them that transdermal oestrogen is safe but they won’t give it to me. Offered me anti depressants instead that I refuse to take. I am at breaking point!”

Been refused hrt by my male GP at Marsden Road health centre, South Shields for over ten years despite repeatedly requesting. His reason " it causes breast cancer". He prescribed me anti depressants
instead. I left my job due to forgetfulness, insomnia and exhaustion. The anti depressants did not work. I contacted Newson Health last September and was given hrt privately but at large cost per consultation (approx £250) every 3 mths plus cost of meds and postage. I am about to go back to my GP but i am afraid. I can now sleeping easily and thinking clearly, and less anxious.”

“I had a hysterectomy in 2010. HRT was not even discussed and I had no idea what the menopause would really be like, I just thought hot flushes. At the time I had a successful career and I blamed some health issues that were starting on stress. Migraines, eczema for the first time and anxiety.
Then my father died and a few months later my mother was diagnosed with terminal brain tumour. I was made redundant, a welcome relief. I fully expected to care for my mother until the end, take some time off and then resume my career.
Wrong my health issues were out of control, days on end in bed with migraines. Not sleeping, and then in 2015 hot flushes started. I again went to GP who put me on oestrogen pills. Migraines and anxiety went through the roof. Went back to GP they took me off HRT. Then I investigated more through migraine trust and penny dropped that migraines were hormone related. Back to GP and pills, no change, saw a nurse about problems with eyes, mentioned flushes etc and was refered to NHS menopause clinic.
So 7 years after my hysterectomy someone took me seriously. Changed to gel, which by now I knew digestive system shuts down with migraine and I started to feel a bit better. Then the gel changed to the PI import and I went backwards.
Gel then changed to patches, which wouldnt stick, patches changed and pharmacy said they couldnt get them. Finally in 2019 estradot patches gained and other changes started, painful breasts, bloating, horrific panic attacks. After a few months the dose was increased and finally I started to feel human. Then came the great estradot shortage so going round different pharmacies trying to get them. 2020 given testogel, started to feel better, aching bones reduced, brain fog declined and started to regain libido. More heartening is the decline in severity and length of migraines and number of missed days has really declined and down to probably 7 days a month from 20. Then I read the book me and my menopausal vagina and recognised VA which is why improved libido was wasted. Back to GP for vagifem but they didn't dissolve. GP apmt not available for 7 weeks and even then just a 4 min phone call. Meantime I went to superdrug private pharmacy and paid £25 for ovestin. 3 mins online, 48 hours delivered.
Unfortunately during this time I had heavy thrush infection so had to stop, the swelling, visible under my scar, took 4 wks to go down, meantime internal examinations tore me inside. So May 2022 I finally have all the ticks in boxes for prescriptions but still feel rubbish but less rubbish than before. No career, living off house sale/savings. Lost friends. But my partner of 9 years has stuck with me through the worst period of my life.
GPs have been shameful, all should have been offered 12 years ago not drip fed over the years through my own investigation and begging.”

“I am 55 and I stopped my periods a couple of years ago and all i knew about menopause was hot sweats and being moody. And that HRT wasn’t good and caused cancer. I struggled on with almost every symptom and thinking I had dementia. I became depressed and anxious and needed support so went onto antidepressants a couple of years ago and had CBT. Hot sweats stopped and depression slightly improved. Work was so hard at this time with covid and so many work pressures and no support even in the NHS for menopause. All I was told is exercise, I had stopped exercising due to fatigue and lack of motivation: I felt very low, crying and feeling like what’s the point. I stopped the antidepressants and went on HRT which I was never encouraged to do by my GP as they said I was too young and had not stopped my periods at that point. I am still trying to find the right HRT and I have asked to be referred to a specialist. I struggle with paying for the prescriptions which might be 3 if I need testosterone.
Due to brain fog, and awful anxiety I am struggling at work and been off sick. Work are performance managing me and I am at risk of loosing my job. I don’t feel supported and have been suffering for too long just like other women. So many women have suffered depression around my age as I have always found it interesting at work and asked women if they had depression when it started. HRT should be free or at least we pay for one and get all three.”

“I was incorrectly (by my GP’s own admission now) given an endometrial ablation at 43 to deal with unbearable periods, then suffered vitamin deficiencies (B12 and B9), excruciating pain in the bones in my feet, could hardly get out of bed most days, yet no arthritis, extreme fatigue, memory loss, lack of sleep, freezing cold all the time - no hot sweats for me, etc whilst trying to hold down a stressful full time job and look after three kids - this went on for years with me asking the GP about my hormones and being told all was fine - fast forward to age 50, at breaking point being told I was “post menopausal” and my doctor admitting that I should have been offered HRT at 43 then I wouldn’t have had the dramatic fall off of hormones I’ve suffered, no one had ever mentioned I might be in peri or meno - At 50 I was prescribed 40 year old HRT medication, the stuff with all the health risks and told I could only stay on it 2 years - I didn’t feel any better 12 weeks later and was on a treadmill then of “try this”, or “that”, different cocktails of drugs, with the doctor effectively saying they didn’t know what else to do for me but they weren’t open to referring me to a gynaecologist either! after covid in late 2021, feeling like a complete shell of my former self I decided to take action - In January this year I paid to see a private consultant who has prescribed new oestrogen, Ultrogestan and (finally!) testosterone, she’s been appalled at the way I’ve been fobbed off and the awful prescriptions of old drugs - I am 12 weeks in to the new meds and finally feeling like I’m finding something of my old self - it’s cost me £300 so far, plus all the money I spent on prescriptions for drugs that didn’t work - I have another bill of £300 coming in 10 days for my next consultation - I’m working overtime to pay for this, but find it tremendously sad it’s taken me having to work extra hours to get the drugs I need at a time when I should be taking life more easy to help the drugs get me back to my old self. My doctor told me I didn’t need testosterone- yet my blood results told a different story and it was ignored.
I don’t blame my GP - they are general practitioners but I’m frustrated that I have to pay for a drug I need when I’ve worked full time my whole life. I also feel huge empathy for other women, friends of mine who can’t afford to take the private route - we should all be entitled to access to the right meds when required and on the NHS.”

“Even though my GP knew of my early menopause symptoms no help was offered to me and I didn't know enough to push for more.
Thankfully I found a wonderful menopause clinic through a friend. I read lots of their online posts and started to educate myself. I realised that I was at risk of osteoporosis and requested a bone density scan. I have been diagnosed with moderate osteopinia so there is still time to put things in place to guard against osteoporosis. The menopause clinic are helping me to get my life and mental health back on track through HRT. I wish I had known about this support before I had resigned from my senior position at work and started to work part time, because I didn't feel like I could cope with the pressure any more.
I honestly feel totally let down by the NHS. Why isn't there the support in place for us? It's glaringly obvious to me that a woman aged 45 who hasn't had a period in over 2 years has something going on that needs checking. I'm so happy that woman are starting to speak out so that in the future no woman should have their symptoms ignored through lack of medical professional training or the idea that menopausal woman don't matter.”

“For roughly 2 years in my mid forties I visited the GP due to bleeding & vaginal infections after sex. They repeatedly sti tested me every time which was humiliating & when they were negative then that was that because the bleeding had stopped. My smears were up to date but I was v worried about cervical cancer.
After I had seen Mariella’s prog I realised I had symptoms of perimenopause & researched it some more.
What I found truly astonished me. Why hadn’t anyone told me this…we all hear about vaginal dryness all the time but this does not describe what is actually happening. When the desire is still there so the vaginal entrance is wet it’s up the cervix end where it’s starting to dry out. You feel turned on and ready so you wouldn’t necessarily think you are suffering from vaginal dryness. Once I had worked this out and introduced lube, problem solved.
Zero of my friends (mid-late 50’s) knew about this. Some have given up all together due to the pain and one had had to reduce the positions to avoid deeper penetration.
I get the feeling that women our age don’t use lube as part of sex whereas young women seem to have found the benefits much earlier.
When I went to ask for hrt I had to see the practise nurse. Middle aged, pursed mouth…are you having hot flushes? No. Well you’re not menopausal but I’ll take a blood test to check. I questioned this as hormones change all the time but she insisted. GP was not happy that she had done this & confirmed that this is not how it’s established nowadays.
I had thought I couldn’t have hrt as my mum had breast cancer but the protocol has changed & I can. GP offered patches or tablets but I asked for gel which he didn’t know about but prescribed for me.
My despair lifted overnight when I started taking it.
After taking it for a few years now I started experiencing night sweats last week where I’d wake up with a cold, wet neck & back. As I usually apply my hrt gel in the mornings and have been getting up earlier than I used to, I wondered if the gel wasn’t covering me through the night. So I have started having a pump at bedtime in addition to the morning pump and hey presto, no more night sweats.
If I had not have seen Mariella’s programme I wouldn’t have been able to work it all out and get what I needed.
It’s totally misleading when all you hear about is hot flushes and vaginal dryness. At the very least it should be well known that you could well still feel wet but the dryness up the top end means maybe chafing, bleeding & pain.
Oh yes and because of the dryness, the blood has a slow journey to the exit so it might not be straight after sex that you see the blood or develop an infection and therefore women might not make the connection.
Like many medical issues, it depends what your gp or practise nurse believes, what their agenda is and how up to date they are with symptoms and treatment.
If you’re unable to do your own research or to make your own connections between symptoms & causes and therefore work out what you need then you are left worrying, struggling & suffering unnecessarily.”

“I had a male GP for years I was given anti depressants twice for symptoms. Anxiety, tiredness, itchy skin to name a few.I was 44 when this started, early I know but totally dismissed. 52 now and a new GP (a woman), she actually listened, gave me plenty of advice plenty of options, this was a 2 years ago. We decided on the gel being the best option for me, changed my life over a few days. But now I'm having to ration it because the prescription cant be fulfilled.”

“I am 34. I believe I’ve been experiencing POI for at least 3 years. I had never heard of perimenopause until 2 years ago when Caroline Hirons shared her experience with it on an Instagram video. Every word she said was so relatable that both myself and my husband cried listening to her. I had thought I was literally losing my mind. I began going to my GP every 3 months listing my symptoms, taking in NICE guidelines for POI, and requesting they investigate or prescribe HRT. They refused repeatedly, despite my seeing every GP & HCP at the surgery. Eventually, a locum referred me to the only menopause specialist for our area in October 2021. I saw the specialist on November 2021 whereby she ordered 3 lots of hormone profiling (without progesterone testing) every 6 weeks and informed me she’d review once the blood results came back. By February 2022 my symptoms had me seriously suicidal. I wrote to the specialist begging she see me sooner, quoting the NICE guidelines for POI detailing 2 rounds of bloods, rather than 3. I heard nothing. Eventually, I got through to gynae secretaries who informed that my calls weren’t returned as the specialist had no secretary since December 2021. In addition, the specialist had gone off sick in January 2022 and wasn’t expected to return before the end of the year. They advised I go back to my GP and ask to be referred out of area. I did this and the GP refused citing that the specialist hadn’t discharged me so they would write to her for guidance (bearing in mind I informed them she was expected to be off work until the end of the year minimum). I have now paid to go private through Newson Health. I have got to credit card my health because not going so poses a real and literal threat to my life, due to the mental health effects of my symptoms. I feel like a shell of who I once was, as if I’ll never again know the person I used to be. My life feels like it has been stolen from me and I feel like a slave to my hormones (or lack of them!) I have evidenced repeatedly that I’ve done my research, I’m making informed requests, and that I know my body better than anybody. I have done everything I can to help myself. Without the right care, I risk leaving behind 7 young children with additional needs for whom I am a parent carer. It is an atrocity and a systemic failure that I have been battling for 2 years already with no end in sight and literally nobody listens. Even the menopause specialist, when asked how I cope between that initial appointment and when I next see her, simply said ‘keep doing what you’re doing’. What is that exactly? Barely holding on? My husband pulling all nighters on suicide watch to keep me alive? Experiencing serious health effects from the lack of hormones? How is any of that ok? To top it off, my husband requested testosterone testing for himself in February 2022 for testosterone deficiency symptoms. Within a week he’d been tested, it was confirmed, and he has been referred to urology for further investigations and likely testosterone treatment. But my life, my suffering, my symptoms, my mental health, my responsibilities, my quality of life, my tears, my fight, my future health and life expectancy means nothing?! How is this ok?! There is no HCP or GP with menopause training at my surgery. How many other women and non-binary afab people are being failed? Things MUST change. We make up 51% of the population and right now, it feels like that means absolutely nothing.”

“Following IVF to have my miracle baby, two years continual bleeding led to a full hysterectomy with everything removed at the age of 31. I was released from hospital after 2 days and had not one single follow up aftercare even though if immediately gone into full menopause (6 years later and I'm still in full menoupause). I wasn't given any insight into what the menopause could throw at me... continual hot flushes, vaginal dryness, drop in sex drive, dry skin, impact to my bones (I have osteoporosis now). I took myself to the GP and asked for some help, I was put on the lowest dose of HRT because I have a family history of breast cancer and im told that's the best they can do for me. The menopause impacts me daily which in turn impacts my family.”

“Diagnosed peri menopausal aged 40 (2012) by gynaecologist. Suggested antidepressants which GP prescribed, I wasn’t depressed so had a terrible reaction, felt like my personality had been taken away. Few years later with severe peri symptoms I went to GP, I was refused HRT but given different antidepressants which obviously didn’t work. Continued to suffer, went back to GP in 2018, I asked for HRT again, GP asked me if I had flushes/sweats I was honest and said no but I get nearly all other symptoms, she said she couldn’t prescribe HRT, I left again feeling desperate. In 2021 (aged 49) I had a total hysterectomy so was told by the consultant I must take HRT but she wouldn’t prescribe it, my GP would need to. My GP said I needed to wait 6 weeks to see how bad my symptoms got before she would prescribe patches! After 5 weeks I told her I needed them so started my HRT journey at last. GP not knowledge, I was massively struggling so 7 months post hysterectomy I paid private for a consultation. Immediately started on testosterone, blood test after 3 months showed I wasn’t absorbing oestrogen patches which makes sense as I have continued to struggle. Had I not been in the position that I can pay privately I would still be in a dark hole as my GP/NHS/CCG could do no more for me. I have refused a promotion and almost separated from my husband of 30 years. This treatment is not good enough. I am in a much better place now, not right but getting there thanks to Dr Newson’s clinic and my ability to pay for what I need. My 10 year battle has been nothing short of horrendous but was avoidable.”

“After suffering with brain fog, word blindness, debilitating night sweats, mood swings, anxiety and generally feeling like I was dementing I visited my gp as suspected I was menopausal. A blood test confirmed this but also showed an abnormal liver function result (it was New Year so suspected this was due to drinking too much alcohol over the festive period!). GP refused to prescribe any meds until he "got to the bottom of the result" citing that HRT would damage my liver if I had an existing abnormality. I waited for 1 year to see a liver specialist during which time my marriage was severely impacted, I could barely function at work and became suicidal. During my 20 minute appointment with the liver specialist I was told there was no reason why I couldn't have been prescribed HRT patches when I had seen my GP at that initial appointment! The specialist wrote to my gp to tell him and eventually I was prescribed patches. 3 months on my symptoms had dramatically improved and I now feel almost normal again. I am so angry that I along with millions of other women are forced to suffer unnecessarily. Women deserve better.”

“COVID-19 and the world going into lockdown shook so many peoples lives. We were all coping to find the ‘new normal’ and unaware of how much our experience would change. I was a wife and working mother of two pre-school boys, having just returned after maternity leave to a high powered demanding job. Juggling everything in my life at that time was overwhelming but little did I know it would become even more challenging.

2020 was the start of the roller coaster. I had been diagnosed with a thyroid condition over ten years prior, my thyroid hormone levels were again in flux and I felt sluggish and was gaining weight. In the spring, I started to notice the pigmentation on my hands, face and chest changing and was diagnosed with Vitiligo. I was changing both physiologically and physically as well. I was also emotionally all over the place whilst trying to keep it together for my family and be strong through a difficult year.

2021 was the start of my decline. The last lockdown in January were some of the toughest months of my life. Work demands were on the rise, the weather was cold and snowy and we had two small children running wild in our house whilst my husband and I tried to work. I started to experience extreme bouts of insomnia and night sweats. My concentration levels dipped and I was exhausted all the time. In the spring, whilst in the middle of a virtual pitch to a client, I experienced a debilitating panic attack, having never experienced one in my life. I thought I was having a heart attack. Fast forward to the fall, the panic attacks and extreme anxiety were frequent, I’d started a new job and two weeks in I experienced what I thought was a complete and total nervous breakdown. I was crying uncontrollably, anxiety so severe I couldn’t leave the house and I was suicidal. I couldn’t face the new job and decided to give up my career of over 20 years to focus on my health and recovery. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life, I loved my career and had worked so hard to get where I was. I was prescribed anti-depressants by my GP but deep down I knew that I was not depressed or anxious. I’d always been a happy and super positive person, I was diminished to a depressed, anxious and shadow of my former self in what seemed like over night. I was a totally different person. My confidence was shattered, I was scared and thought I needed to be committed to a mental hospital. I couldn’t sleep, eat and spent days crying. My family and friends were concerned and my poor children just kept saying, ‘hope you feel better mummy’. It was heart breaking and I felt incredibly alone and lost.

I spent three months, scouring the internet and reading books for answers. I joined The Balance App and started to read some of the stories and realised that all these women were me. I was not alone and I’d been found. I was decidedly peri-menopausal not suicidal! I worked closely with my GP and started HRT in February of this year. I’ve started to feel better but am on the long road of getting my hormones levels right. I’m still in disbelief that this could happen to me and didn’t think at 43 that I would be starting my menopause journey. I’ve been very open with friends and family about my story and what I’m going through. My life has now changed for the better and I desperately don’t want other families (because it’s both women, men and children that are effected by this) to suffer like we did. I’m so happy that this issue is out in the open, we need to ignore the challenges of patriarchy and seek action!”

“After having my daughter at 40, I plunged into hellish symptoms after ceasing to breastfeed after 27 months. Hence i was coming up to 43.
I was all over the place with every symptom going, worst of all 1 day a month I would feel such rage at myself and items around the house. One day, whilst washing up, I felt the volcano rising, grabbed a pair of tongs (luckily plastic!) and stabbed myself in the stomach repeatedly. Thankfully as they were plastic I only received a strong bruise for about 2 weeks. But I was terrified. I had had enough. I went to various GPs over 4.5 years. The one who I told about the tongs 'guffaw'd' at me! I stopped attending the doctors after being offered prozac, the could & guffaws, and tried many natural approaches such as homeopathy, acupuncture, yoga etc.
None of which worked.
I ended up back at my own GP, who we rarely got to see. I demand she refer me to the Oxford Menopause Clinic. No need she said, I work there one day a week.
I nearly grabbed her, both screaming and celebrating!
I was then put on HRT. The patches failed to absorb so I'm now on 4 pumps of oestrogel & utrogestran progesterone tablets.
I honestly believe they have saved my life. I still have milder symptoms and bad days but feel the need to share my story with all my friends in their 30s & 40s in the hope they don't go through the same experience as me.
Thank you for sharing and helping support each other and for change!!!

Emma now aged 49 and still going through it!”

“I’m 63 years old,Naively I thought the only symptoms of menopause was moodiness and hot flushes which is what my mother had ,as I never really felt any of these things I thought I’d escaped Menopause .However, I’d had a mirena coil fitted after all of my 3 girls which suited me fine,I never experienced period whilst using them which was brilliant I thought. I had my last coil removed when I was 54 ,since then my body is something I am completely at loggerheads with leading me to give up my job as a teacher after 20 years ,because I feared I was getting dementia (difficult to deal with at the time as my father had dementia )I was continually sweating which was awkward in the work place and made me anxious,I had a heart issue which came from know where and now my joints are continually aching and I only need to see a toilet and I have to go immediately or it’s embarrassing let’s not even talk about libido From a fit healthy person over a period of 8 years I don’t even know this body I am in and these symptoms sucked the zest and joy I felt for life I was always seeking reasons why everything was out of whack but menopause never came into my head as a possible cause how ignorant was I .I feel I should have known about menopause I feel short changed by the whole system and stupid for not even seeking information ,I just got on with it and thought that was my only choice Why wasn’t it talked about in schools .I thought HRT was a treatment for the rich didn’t even know what it could do for you ,so like many I just got on with it and now I feel to old for help or am I ?good medical help seems so difficult to access On the plus side this Menopause campaign will help educate my daughters and other woman that with the right treatment and a serious approach to this condition the life for many woman can be so much better and they will be able to make choices to live and embrace Menapause”

“I was offered antidepressants 3 years ago as my symptoms of low mood, were likely to be depression. I pushed for an FSH test and told it wasn’t necessary as I’m young. I have now had menopause confirmed. I am 39. It hurts. It hurts my head, my family, my work and my mental health that I have suffered for 3 years thinking I’m going mad. I’m still awaiting hrt as I have been referred to a consultant, as the gp doesn’t want to ‘dabble’ ‘ in meds with me. So I should hear in the next 12 weeks. While I slowly lose myself a bit more. So it’ll be four years since I’ve felt missing in my own body, before hopefully I get some help.”

“I'm 41 and just can't get the help and support. It's about 3yrs since my perimenopause journey began. Only change...I take anxiety tablets and am 3stone heavier and ive got arthritis. The symptoms I went to gp with continue..however its now impacting work and relationships. I've added a comment on Instagram hoping it will resignate with others.

I've hit the lowest in the last few months with it all..HRT as an option was just poo-pooed.

I am happy to give someone the full experience I'm going through.”

“I'm feeling low, lost and miserable. I have intrusive thoughts were I want to run away from my life as I can't handle the lowest days. I cry at everything, I worry about everything and small things can make me angry. 
I drove home along a country lane and I wanted to drive over the edge and crash. Then I felt so much guilt for having those thoughts. At first I thought it was grief making me feel so terrible as I've tragically lost my dad and younger sister in the past few years but the more I read about peri menopause and menopause symptoms and at my age I realise it more than grief. Its affecting all the hours of the day now. I am hoping a GP appointment I've made will help. 
I have memory loss, hot sweats at night, migraines, a lack of libido which is affecting my marriage and yet I get through each day the best I can.”

“I have a total hysterectomy at 36 years old due to a number of issues including severe endometriosis. I went into this quickly and a bit blind, not knowing how debilitating menopause would be. I was told I was unable to take estrogen as it would cause the endometriosis to regrow. It took almost 2 years to fully recover from the operation and feel back to semi full health. I suffered weight gain, severe flushes, loss of libido and generally felt awful. This was 14 years ago and for 14 years I have suffered and in more recent years suffered severe joint pain, exhaustion, more weight gain and a total loss of my sex drive. Following your last program on the menopause and having begun to suffer extremely debilitating brain hog that is affecting every part of my life, I decided to take action and get my life back. I contacted my GP who was unable to give any specific advice on taking HRT and the effect this might have on my endometriosis. I have therefore attempted to take it using trial and error and Google as my friend. As you can imagine, it’s been tough. I finally got a dose right and was starting to see some slight improvement. Fast forward 3 months and I had a breast scare. I visited a breast consultant who told me to STOP the HRT as I was drastically increasing my risk of breast cancer. I left the appointment bewildered, frustrated and clueless as to what to do. I then stopped the HRT as being told this sent ripples of fear through me that I couldn’t ignore. Since then I have researched a menopause clinic. A wonderful lady told me how to access this on the NHS. I then had a battle with my own GP getting a referral. I finally got a referral and am now told I have a minimum of 33 weeks wait. I now feel very low and once again having to battle through in a life which quite frankly I find incredibly difficult. Every day feels like a long and uphill battle.”

“I suffer from PCOS and have always have problems taking the pill. I am very progesterone sensitive, which apparently is a common PCOS thing I’ve learnt. At 40 I started to suffer with perimenopausal symptoms. I fought to get to my local menopause clinic who decided to prescribe me the pill. When I started to bleed, their answer was to up the progesterone content. Every time they upped it, I bled more. I ended up on an extreme amount of progesterone and needed an iron infusion to recover from the bleeding and hysteroscopy to investigate the bleeding. The more progesterone I got put on, the more my mental health suffered.
I have a lovely gp and in desperation I went to her and asked about hrt. Hrt doesn’t make me bleed, but the progesterone content most definitely affects my mental health. The minute my 10 days of progesterone kick in I feel low, empty. Sometimes suicidal. I feel my only option now is to have my womb removed.
Why is so little known about progesterone sensitivity in women and it’s links to mental health. This should be talked about so much more.
Also…… My cycle is longer than 28 days, so I have a period of cold Turkey between ending a packet and starting a new on my first day of my period….. why is that never thought about…

Urgh…. The continual frustration”

“Misdiagnosed, suffered years of crippling anxiety, brain fog, joint pain, IBS. Symptoms dismissed by my doctor who didnt seem interested and didn’t join the dots on the various symptoms. About 8 years ago I stood in a pharmacist in front of all the menopause alternative meds staring confused, when an assistant asked me if I needed help, I was so lost and knew I need something to help but didn’t know what she talked me through lady care device, which I bought, within 2 days I felt so much better, the knot in my stomach had gone and I could think clearly!!! I am now on HRT and feel so much better.”

“I had a radical hysterectomy due to cervical cancer last year which pushed me into early menopause at 31.Not one doctor sat with me and gave me my options or a plan after surgery just said i would hit early menopause. After surgery, I was put on a 50 mg patch and sent on my way with 3 weeks worth and told to get in contact with my doctor .I never had a review , i tried to get one so many times, to be told i was depressed and i was on the right dose. I never got given an appointment face to face! I wasnt given options of what would suit me or what there was to offer,general information on menopause wasnt given nor explained what was about to happen to me. It took 10 months to get a phone call appointment with the menopause clinic and after one appointment i am having to wait again till August to get things moving. prior to this I paid £270 to go private as I was so desperate.my hair was falling out I was so emotional ,couldnt sleep ,hot flushes to a extreme, intense itching,bones hurt you name it I had it.No one would help, my doctor wasn't interested and refused to give me a bone scan and test for my estrogen level and admitted he didn't know what to do so I moved doctors.I have struggled to get my patches so gone onto gel now.which every month I struggle to get due to shortages and have to ring round chemists every month, I was going through the hardest time in my life loosing the chance to ever be a mum having cancer and going through the menopause so early .There was no help for me and I hope this changes and access is easy for hrt for all women out there. It needs to change !!”

“Four ish years ago I was a class leader working with Autistic youngsters. My life was quite good with three teenage children
And a loving husband. I was 50. I started to feel weird, just not right! Alcohol which I loved started to feel odd. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I asked my fellow work friends what could be wrong and no one really knew! My blood pressure and heart rate started to her higher and then anxiety started to creep in. I started to have weird dizziness where I’d leave my body for a few seconds and loose my head! Hard to explain but it was odd. I was out In my sisters car with my children in the back and I just needed to get home. It was like I was going to faint! I got home and went to lay on my bed. I freaked out as I thought I was having a stroke! I pleaded with my husband to call an ambulance but as a nurse he realised and assessed nothing was terribly wrong, I was so upset as I knew there was! I asked my mum to come over and pleaded with her to ring an ambulance but she listened to my husband. But I was dying (or so I thought!) it was the Easter holidays so I didn’t have to go to work. I felt like I was
Having a breakdown! Up to 10 panic attacks a day! I ran to my friends down my road at 2am for her to help me! I had lost my mind! During the day I just laid on the sofa and watched the kardashians (must have lost my mind!) every episode from start to finish! For three weeks. I was no one anymore! I just didn’t want to live if this is the person I was to be. My mum poor family had to watch me turn into this u recognisable person! I once loved fun now I didn’t even like life! I decided to go to the doctors. My blood pressure was 160/110 and my heart rate was through the
Roof. I cried to the doctor he suggested I take ‘sertraline’ to see if it helped. I had a real problem taking tablets so just took half. I felt so I’ll I went to my mums. I even got in her bed in with her and my dad. I wanted to feel safe as when I was a child. My body was burning from my toes to the tops of my ears. I laid there for three days! I couldn’t get out of bed. My mum kept the fan on me and I knew in my heart that I was dying! My poor daughter stayed near me she was about 13. She didn’t want to leave me as just before we’d nearly lost my husband from a blood clot (he recovered but it was touch and go!) after three days I went back to the doctors, it was a female doctor she sent me straight into the next room for an ecg which was perfect! My blood pressure was still
High and I was a total mess! Blood tests for thyroid was normal! I was praying I had something as I wanted to be diagnosed and to get better! Anxious, crying, jittery and not wanting to carry on. She started to speak about being peri menopause! I only remember my mum being affected by hot flushes I didn’t have that! The doctor recommended patches. I went home and started to read the internet which wasn’t as much then as now but I found podcasts from menopause barbie! She explained it all. Not even two weeks after sticking that patch on my behind I started to feel a bit better! I could see my old self gradually returning. I felt like I had survived! I could see daylight again. The relief especially from my family was amazing. I became a menopause expert (well I thought I was😂) and a great advocate for hrt. I began to tell everyone. Sore back try hrt! Haha my children laughed at me! I stopped having dizziness and panic attacks. I became very very allergic to alcohol with even a slight drop sending my heart rate through the roof! I suppose that’s not a bad thing! And I started running! After everything I had been through I knew I had to fulfil a life long desire to enter the world of fostering! My passion had always been helping children. My husband and children agreed and we started the process. Jump to today we have the most fantastic, amazing 7 year old who has now been with us for nearly two years! She keeps me young and We love her dearly. I still have slight symptoms and actually this week I’m going to hospital to have large polyp removed and a biopsy as I’m 54 and still having regular periods! My hrt has been changed quite a few times due to different reasons but my life now is better than it was! We call that ‘my kardashian era!’”

“Had the menapause at 42, same time as being diagnosed with an underactive thyroid and nursing my mum through liver cancer. 2 teenage sons, working in a highly stressful environment . Fast forward 15 years, husband walked out saying lack of intimacy and he felt resentful for last 15 years !!!! Speechless. Went to see a gynaecologist privately, her words to me were " if I had a pound for every woman who tells the same story as yours I would not be in a job !" She wrote to my GP and finally got the hrt I needed plus testosterone, even then the nurse practitioner was sceptical but I persevered and now will not come off these medications. I wish all women the best of luck and hope their husbands sons and healthcare practitioners listen .”

“Hi I was diagnosed for premature ovarian failure at the age of 19 which means I've been going through the menopause since then. I'm now 32 and struggling to get the medication that I need either because of the shortages or for others who have gone to get hrt which is not needed”

“I have struggled with hormonal issues since the birth of my second daughter when I was in my early 20’s. Fast forward 20 years later after endless GP appointments being told I was depressed or needed some other mode of mood altering medication.
Feeling like I’d aged 40 years not 20, struggling to remember even simple words let alone how to do my role of Child welfare, a marriage on the brink of divorce and anxiety I’d never experienced before and the worst hormonal migraines that would see me out of action for days on end I finally found the fight to stick to my guns and see a specialist.
4 months in and I’m calmer and no longer convinced I have early onset of some cognitive condition, I can speak without bursting in to tears and not panic every 10 minutes that I’ve upset someone and seek constant reassurance! Is everything fixed….not by a long shot I still feel uncontrollable anger for no reason every few weeks and the night sweats are not too much fun but at least now I have hope!”

“I didn’t understand my symptoms and after watching Davina McCall’s menopause program I recognised that I may be peri-menopausal. My doctor initially was helpful and after bloods said I was peri- menopausal suggested that I take anti depressants which I was not keen on. Over the next year my symptoms got worse so I re-approached my doctor’s surgery. Another blood panel was ordered.
I heard nothing for weeks and phoned the surgery to find out my results. The receptionist (not a medical professional) proceeded to look at my results and she then said to me, “You should be grateful there is nothing wrong with you.” I asked to speak to the doctor and was told there was no need.
I felt like I was going mad, that all my symptoms were in my head and I was imagining it all. Depressed, anxious, forgotten and ignored were just some of what I was feeling.
I went to visit my mum in South Africa and went to a gynaecologist there who help me with HRTs, advice and support.
My biggest fear now is managing my symptoms and medication here because I don’t believe I will get any support here in Northern Ireland.”

“Hi. I’m Charlie, 
an ex-nurse, a married mum of 2 & in my mid-forties and on HRT. I had severe dizziness for at least 5 yeas before I finally saw Davina & Liz Earle discussing HRT benefits over a year ago. 
I thought my GPs practice would be be happy to let me try it but my gosh, what resistance I faced! 
Even the female GPs were incredibly negative, saying ‘you’re too young to be needing HRT!’ & I had to buy Dr Louise Newsome’s book, make a copy of my symptoms and then go back to them - all guns blazing - for a showdown after seeing 3 GPs! I was FINALLY permitted some Estrogrel & micronised Progesterone. 

All I can say - without a shadow of a doubt - is that the fight for HRT is not over yet; I’m an ex-NHS Professional, with many years of medical training & experience, but still I was made to feel very uncomfortable asking for it. 
I’ve still not been issued any Testosterone but cant afford to but it privately. 
HRT should be freely available to any woman suffering with perimenopausal symptoms and Drs should be INCREDIBLY careful when refusing it in cases where they are not fully trained in how much Estrogen - and the lack of it, affect’s us as we age. 
Here’s to free & plentiful HRT for any woman that requires it. GPs need to wake up!!”

“I'm 53 now and I feel amazing.
I wish someone had sat me down when I hit 40 and told me how to look after myself in the coming years.
I had NO idea what perimenopause was until I hit menopause at 47.
It was only then that the penny dropped, and that the baffling symptoms I was experiencing were the support act to the main show.
At 43 I just fell apart. No confidence, a lot of ugly crying, didn't know how to dress, fell so unfeminine. My gp put me on anti depressants.
If I had known better, I would have tracked my symptoms and asked for a trans dermal dose of HRT. If I had started taking a micro dose back then, it would have saved me a lot of misdiagnosed conditions and referrals to specialists for unexplained uti infections which were so distressing.
I know better now. I have still never been offered HRT but I know how to manage my symptoms better. Keeping a health diary, and reducing external stress are the 2 biggest things I woukd recommend.
Take your diary to your gp so you're not sitting struggling to remember it all.”